1 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,205 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,606 - SHE'S GOT A PERFORMANCE TONIGHT 3 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,640 WHICH SHE'S NOW SHUT ME OUT OF. - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 4 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,641 I AM SHUTTING ALL OF YOU OUT OF IT. 5 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,709 YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING? 6 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,044 - WHAT? - YOU. 7 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,379 - YOU WERE CLASSIC. 8 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:14,048 [phone buzzing] 9 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,122 - I DIDN'T KNOW IF MATTY'S CHEESE-NASTY PLAYLIST 10 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,624 WAS THROWING ME OFF OR THE PARALYZING GUILT I FELT 11 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,792 FROM HITTING THE "IGNORE" BUTTON 12 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,494 WHEN HE SHOWED UP THE NIGHT BEFORE, 13 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:29,930 BUT EITHER WAY, I WAS PHONING IT IN TO MY OWN BOOTY CALL. 14 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,233 - YOU OKAY? - MM-HMM. 15 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,634 - YOU SEEM DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING. 16 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,171 - UNFORTUNATELY, "SOMETHING" HAD A NAME: COLLIN JENNINGS, 17 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,739 WHO I HADN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT 18 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,475 SINCE WE BONDED OVER LEMON BARS IN MY EPIC OUTING, 19 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:42,943 BUT WITH MY MAN IN MY BED, 20 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,845 I NEEDED TO GET COLLIN OUT OF MY HEAD. 21 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,381 I HAD SUCCESSFULLY FAKED SLEEP TO MATTY, 22 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,718 BUT WOULD I BE ABLE TO PULL OFF FAKING "IT"? 23 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,721 [romantic new wave music] 24 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,591 * 25 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,859 - HOLD ON A SECOND. 26 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:02,530 - * OUT IN THE LIGHT LAST SUMMER NIGHT * 27 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:05,032 [R&B music] 28 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,335 [both moaning] 29 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,573 - OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS UNREAL. 30 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,007 - AND UNFAIR. 31 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,443 IN MY NAKED AND VULNERABLE STATE, 32 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:19,413 MY FANTASY HAD RUDELY CREEPED IN AND MADE MY REALITY ITS BITCH. 33 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,182 [keyboard clicking] 34 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,850 [thud] 35 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,152 AND I COULDN'T GET INTO IT 36 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,953 UNTIL FREAKIN' COLLIN POPPED INTO MY HEAD-- 37 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,888 NOT ON PURPOSE. I WAS TRYING TO FOCUS ON MATTY. 38 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,590 SO THEN I TRIED THINKING ABOUT BASEBALL, 39 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,858 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT GUYS DO, 40 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,427 BUT THEN COLLIN SHOWED UP IN A DODGERS UNIFORM. 41 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,695 DAMN HIM. 42 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,430 SHOULD I BE WORRIED? I THINK I SHOULD BE WORRIED. 43 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,499 - STOP BEING SO "DRAMASTIC," HAMILTON. 44 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,967 EVERYONE HAS FANTASIES. 45 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,235 - EVEN YOU? - OF COURSE! 46 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,171 - THERE'S NO WAY YOU THOUGHT-BUBBLE 47 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,572 ABOUT ANYONE BUT JAKE ROSATI. 48 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,440 - NOT TRUE. I HAVE TWO BATH BUDDIES. 49 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,908 ONE IS MY SHOWER MASSAGER, 50 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,610 AND THE OTHER IS NIALL FROM ONE DIRECTION. 51 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,779 - HE'S NOT EVEN THE CUTE ONE. 52 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,183 HENRY AND I ONLY FANTASIZE ABOUT EACH OTHER, RIGHT, HENRY? 53 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,387 WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 54 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,789 - GUESS YOU AND YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND ARE IN A FAKE FIGHT? 55 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,392 - SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY GOING DOWN IN CHINATOWN. 56 00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:05,693 - NOW YOU AND I CAN FREAK OUT TOGETHER. 57 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,495 - UH, MING CAN BUY A TICKET ON THE FREAK TRAIN, 58 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,397 BUT, "J", YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 59 00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,299 HAVING FANTASIES IS TOTES NORMAL 60 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,367 AND THE KEY TO MAINTAINING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. 61 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,968 - WHAT FANTASIES? - I DON'T HAVE ANY FANTASIES, 62 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,237 EVER, NOT ONE. 63 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,005 WE'RE TALKING ONE-TRACK MIND HERE, ROSATI. 64 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,641 CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE? WE'RE GIRL-TALKING, 65 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,211 AND I CAN'T PROMISE THE SUBJECT OF TAMPONS WON'T COME UP. 66 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,213 - UH. 67 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:29,317 - IF FANTASIES ARE TOTES NORMAL, WHY DID YOU JUST LIE ABOUT IT? 68 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:31,219 - HE IS A BOY, WHICH MEANS HE IS TOO SENSITIVE 69 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,221 TO HANDLE THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH IS, 70 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,456 I DAYDREAM ABOUT SLIP-SLIDING NAKED 71 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,258 ACROSS NIALL'S BABY-SMOOTH CHEST. 72 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,260 WHICH DOESN'T MEAN I LOVE JAKE ANY LESS. 73 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,730 - "T" MADE A GOOD POINT, ALBEIT A SLIGHTLY DISTURBING ONE. 74 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,933 IF JAKARA WASN'T THREATENED BY TAMARA'S MENTAL DALLIANCES, 75 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,035 MAYBE MY RELATIONSHIP WAS SAFE FROM MINE. 76 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,603 [bell rings] 77 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:52,706 - SO, INSPIRED BY JUNIOR BLOGGER OVER THERE 78 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,376 AND HER INCREDIBLY BLEAK YARN ABOUT THE LOSS OF INNOCENCE, 79 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:58,111 YOU'RE ALL GONNA WRITE ABOUT FIRSTS. 80 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,247 YES, ANGER MANAGEMENT? 81 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,114 - FIRST WHAT? 82 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,616 - HOW 'BOUT THE FIRST TIME YOU GOT AN "A" IN MY CLASS? 83 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,017 OH, WAIT, THAT NEVER HAPPENED. 84 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,319 - WHAT IF WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX YET? 85 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,454 WHAT DO WE WRITE ABOUT? 86 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,888 - OPEN YOUR EARS, AMERICAN PSYCHO. 87 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,258 I DID NOT SAY YOU HAD TO WRITE ABOUT LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY. 88 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,260 NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR MISADVENTURES WITH MADISON. 89 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,827 - WHO? - YOUR BLOW-UP GIRLFRIEND. 90 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,963 - I DON'T HAVE A-- 91 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,732 HER NAME IS AMY. 92 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,368 - YES? - AM I DONE WITH THE ASSIGNMENT? 93 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,102 - YOU USED SOMETHING THAT YOU WROTE A YEAR AGO. 94 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,937 THAT'S NOT WRITING. IT'S CALLED "READING." 95 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,039 - SO SHOULD I EXPAND ON MY STORY? 96 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,675 - YOU COULD, IF I WASN'T COMPLETELY OUT OF SCOTCH. 97 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,977 YOU ALREADY WROTE THE GRITTY, TENEBROUS REALITY. 98 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:33,547 NOW WRITE WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOUR FIRST TIME WOULD BE. 99 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,149 WRITE THE FANTASY. - NOT A PROBLEM. 100 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:39,320 I WAS AN EXPERT IN THAT DEPARTMENT. 101 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,955 - AND THIS TIME, TRY NOT TO DEPRESS THE [bleep] OUT OF ME. 102 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,926 - TOLD YOU YOU KILLED IT. - MM-HMM. 103 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,532 [bell rings] 104 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,468 - DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS ASSIGNMENT? 105 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,036 - ACTUALLY, I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I WANT LESS. 106 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,538 - IT'S TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. 107 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,307 I REFUSE TO WRITE ABOUT SLUTTING IT UP. 108 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,708 - I BELIEVE I SAID "FIRST ANYTHING." 109 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,976 - YEAH, BUT SO FAR, YOU'VE ONLY GIVEN GOOD GRADES 110 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,446 FOR PERVY PORN, WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE IS ILLEGAL, 111 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,415 SINCE WE'RE UNDERAGE. - FIRST OFF, 112 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,317 I'D RATHER PUT A HOT POKER TO MY BALLS 113 00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,319 THAN READ ABOUT YOUR PUBESCENT FUMBLINGS, 114 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:14,822 AND SECONDLY, I HAVE AN AMPLE SUPPLY OF PERVY PORN. 115 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:15,956 THANK YOU. 116 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,058 - YOU'RE NOT WELCOME. - MISS SAXTON, 117 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,328 I DON'T GIVE A CRAP HOW YOU LOST YOUR PRECIOUS FLOWER. 118 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:22,930 I JUST WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE FIRST TIME YOU DID 119 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,433 OR FELT SOMETHING THAT MOVED YOU OR RIPPED YOU APART. 120 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,500 DON'T THINK. 121 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,503 WHAT FIRST ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED YOU? 122 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,439 - THE FIRST TIME I SHOPPED RETAIL. 123 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:34,675 - THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. 124 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,980 - I KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT ME AT YOUR READING. 125 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,350 IT'S BECAUSE YOU READ A STORY ABOUT US DOING IT. 126 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,584 - NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T READ BEFORE. 127 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,986 JUST THE BLOG ENTRY ABOUT US IN THE CLOSET. 128 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,121 - I NEVER READ YOUR BLOG. 129 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,624 - WELL, THEN YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO HASN'T. 130 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,625 DO YOU WANT TO READ IT? 131 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,793 - I DON'T NEED TO. 132 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,262 WE SHARE THAT MEMORY, REMEMBER? 133 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,530 IT'S ALREADY IN MY HEAD. 134 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,965 - I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED 135 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,368 THAT HE HADN'T READ MY BLOG, BUT I WAS. 136 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:03,036 WHILE MATTY HAD NEVER SHOWN ANY INTEREST IN MY WRITING, 137 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,872 COLLIN-- A VIRTUAL STRANGER-- 138 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:09,009 HAD GONE OUT OF HIS WAY TO HEAR THE UNPLUGGED VERSION. 139 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,845 - HENRY! STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME! 140 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,582 WHAT IS YOUR DEAL? UGH--WHOA! 141 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,717 JEEZ, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? 142 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,118 - THE WHERE IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE WHO. 143 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,853 - OKAY, THEN WHO? 144 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,121 - FRED WU. - FRED WHO? 145 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,691 - FRED WU. - OH, FRED WU. 146 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,993 DOESN'T RING A BELL. - LET ME RING IT FOR YOU. 147 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,261 YOUR BEARD HAS BEEN SHAVED. 148 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,063 DING DING. 149 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,401 I KNEW IT WAS YOU. MING FEI YEN HUANG. 150 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,975 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 151 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,111 - THE KISS OF DEATH! - [gasps] 152 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,979 BECCA FOUND OUT YOU'VE BEEN SEEING FRED? 153 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,948 - I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, 154 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,884 SO IF I DON'T, JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU. 155 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,456 I'M SO DEAD. 156 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,057 - AND SO WAS MY MUSE, 157 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,126 OR AT LEAST SHE WAS TAKING THE NIGHT OFF. 158 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,429 WHILE THE REAL VERSION OF MY FIRST TIME WITH MATTY 159 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,096 HAD ALMOST WRITTEN ITSELF, 160 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:07,334 THE FANTASY VERSION WAS PLAYING HARD TO GET. 161 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,969 "THERE WERE A LOT OF THINGS I WANTED TO FORGET 162 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,238 "ABOUT MY 15th YEAR ON THE PLANET, 163 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:14,542 "BUT MY SUMMER AT CAMP POOKAH WASN'T ONE OF THEM. 164 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,843 [romantic pop music] 165 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,879 "THE FIRST TIME I WAS ALONE WITH MATTY MCKIBBEN, 166 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,750 A GOD AMONG BOYS, HE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY." 167 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,453 * 168 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:29,457 - * I CAN'T TAKE ANO-- * 169 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,324 [music stops] 170 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:40,200 "COLLIN HAD NOT ONLY INFILTRATED MY SEX LIFE, 171 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,737 "HE WAS MAKING GUEST APPEARANCES IN MY LITERARY ONE AS WELL. 172 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,206 "BUT THERE WAS NO WAY THAT DUDE WAS GONNA PLAY MY MUSE 173 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:49,109 "WHEN I HAD A PERFECTLY HOT BOYFRIEND TO GET THE JOB DONE. 174 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,912 "SO WHY WASN'T HE HOLDING UP HIS END OF THE BARGAIN? 175 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,714 "I HAD SPENT EVERY MINUTE OF THAT SUMMER 176 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,115 "DAYDREAMING ABOUT MATTY 177 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,751 BUT COULDN'T CONJURE UP A SINGLE FREAKIN' FANTASY." 178 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,219 * 179 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,322 - * OF BROKEN PLANS TO START A CRAZE * 180 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,991 * ALL THESE HALF-HEARTED ESSAYS * 181 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,494 - "THIS ASSIGNMENT BLOWS." 182 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:09,697 - * TIRED LINES THAT DON'T WORK OUT * 183 00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,398 - THERE WAS ONLY ONE SUREFIRE WAY 184 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,501 TO COMBAT WRITER'S BLOCK: 185 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,302 IGNORE IT, TRUSTING THAT DAYLIGHT 186 00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:18,238 WAS GOING TO BRING INSPIRATION. 187 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,310 - * STILL GLUED TO THE BACK NOW * 188 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,314 - YOU STILL WRITING THAT PAPER? 189 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,149 - "STILL WRITING" WOULD IMPLY THAT I'VE STARTED. 190 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,217 - SO TAKE A BREAK. 191 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,353 - I CAN'T UNTIL I START THIS DAMN THING. 192 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,922 - OH, I BET WE CAN GET IT STARTED. 193 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:35,923 HUH? 194 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,525 I CAN GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT. 195 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:40,528 - I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE UNTIL I GET SOME WRITING DONE. 196 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:43,396 - YOU CALL ME IF YOU NEED INSPIRATION. 197 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,804 - I SEE YOU'RE ON THE WRITER'S DIET. 198 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,105 WHEN HE WROTE, 199 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,207 F. SCOTT FITZGERALD TOOK FUDGE AND COFFEE BREAKS. 200 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,242 - WELL, THEN THAT'S THE ONLY THING 201 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,710 FITZGERALD AND I HAVE IN COMMON, 202 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,679 BECAUSE I'VE BEEN STARING AT A BLANK PAGE FOR TWO DAYS. 203 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,047 - YOU WERE ON FIRE AT THE READING. 204 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:03,016 JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WROTE AND MAKE IT SEXY. 205 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,918 - I'M TRYING TO, BUT I CAN ONLY REMEMBER THE REAL THING. 206 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,820 THAT'S THE IMAGE THAT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD. 207 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,789 - SO LET IT GO. 208 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,091 CLOSE YOUR EYES. 209 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,594 OR DON'T. 210 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,630 THINK BACK TO WHAT IT WAS LIKE BEFORE MATTY KISSED YOU, 211 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,232 OR THE FIRST TIME HE TOUCHED YOU. 212 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,233 [dreamy music] 213 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,769 BEFORE YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM, 214 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:26,006 YOU HAD MEMORIZED HIS SMILE, THE COLOR OF HIS EYES, 215 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,476 HOW HE ALWAYS SMELLED OF CHLORINE AND SUNSCREEN-- 216 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,914 OF SUMMER--AND WHEN HE FINALLY LOOKED AT YOU, 217 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,817 YOU COULD LIVE OFF THAT SMILE FOR A WEEK. 218 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,786 BUT NOTHING COULD COMPARE 219 00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,488 TO THE FIRST TIME HE TOUCHED YOU. 220 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,157 IT WAS LIKE YOU WERE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE ON EARTH, 221 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,826 AND YOU COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT 222 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:50,297 OF EVER BEING AWAY FROM HIM AGAIN. 223 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,298 SEE? 224 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,600 [music stops abruptly] 225 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,768 YOU GOT THIS. [chuckles] 226 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,975 [dreamy music starts] 227 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,011 - "THE ESPRESSO MACHINE WHIRRED UNDER HIS VOICE, 228 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,913 "MAKING IT HARD TO HEAR WHAT COLLIN-- 229 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,080 [music restarts] 230 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,817 "MAKING IT HARD TO HEAR WHAT HE WAS SAYING, 231 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,621 BUT THE WORDS DIDN'T MATTER, BECAUSE THEY WERE MEANT FOR ME." 232 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,390 - HEY. 233 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,659 HOW'S THE PAPER COMING? 234 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,393 - ALL DONE. TURNED IT IN YESTERDAY. 235 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,095 - AWESOME. - AND I'M GUESSING 236 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,631 YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE NEW VERSION EITHER? 237 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:26,433 MATTY SAID HE WASN'T INTERESTED, SO WHY DID I HAVE 238 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,368 THIS OVERWHELMING URGE TO CONFESS? 239 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,937 AND WHAT WOULD I CONFESS? 240 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,640 I HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH THE PAGE? 241 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,308 - [whispering] MING. 242 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,544 - WE SHOULDN'T BE MEETING ON SCHOOL GROUNDS. 243 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,446 HELLO KITTY MIGHT SEE US. - WE'RE SAFE HERE. 244 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:42,082 THIS SANCTUARY'S TOO DIRTY FOR BECCA'S PORCELAIN SKIN. 245 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,652 - DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY. SHE KNOWS ABOUT US. 246 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:45,919 - IT'S THE LAST PIECE OF THE PUZZLE. 247 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,420 I KNEW THE BITCH HAD POWER. 248 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,756 I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO FAR-REACHING. 249 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,023 - NOW WHAT DID SHE DO? 250 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,025 - THERE WAS A CHEATING SCANDAL AT MY NEW SCHOOL. 251 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,393 GUESS WHO WAS FRAMED FOR IT. 252 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,928 - BITCH! 253 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,063 - I'M BEING SENT TO IDAHO. 254 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,731 - IDAHO? NO! 255 00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,266 - YES. - WHAT'S IN IDAHO? 256 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,568 - I DON'T KNOW, MING. I DON'T KNOW! 257 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,937 ACTUALLY, SOME COUSINS. 258 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,806 PROMISE ME YOU'LL BE CAREFUL. 259 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:10,443 - IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME TOO. BECCA GAVE ME THE JUDAS KISS. 260 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,912 - DAMN THAT BECCA. DAMN HER TO HELL! 261 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,413 - [whimpers] 262 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,153 - COME WITH ME. 263 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:24,124 - I'D RATHER TAKE MY CHANCES WITH BECCA THAN MOVE TO IDAHO. 264 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,827 - I'M A TRUANT, MING, A FELON, 265 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,730 LIVING OUTSIDE THE LAW. 266 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:33,000 IF I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU SHOULD KNOW... 267 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,234 I LOVE YOU. 268 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,469 - I LOVE YOU TOO. 269 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,873 - * WE WOULD FALL 270 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:44,477 * BUT NOT IN LOVE 271 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,981 * 272 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,050 - EVERYTHING WAS STATUS QUO. 273 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,420 MY PAPER WAS DONE, AND SO WAS MY LITERARY OBSESSION. 274 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,155 SOME WRITERS HAD TO DRINK OR DO DRUGS 275 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,890 TO GET THE JUICES FLOWING. 276 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,492 I GOT INSPIRATION FROM ANOTHER SOURCE. 277 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,428 - THE FIRST TIME YOU GOT PROBED BY ALIENS. 278 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,130 - WHAT? IT TOTALLY HAPPENED. 279 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,597 - OH, I HAVE NO DOUBT. WHAT I DON'T KNOW 280 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,399 IS WHAT TRANSPIRED FROM THE TIME THAT YOU SAW THE LIGHT 281 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,436 UNTIL AFTER YOU GOT PROBED. 282 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,571 EQUATING SHOPPING RETAIL TO PRISON RAPE. 283 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,740 WOW, THAT WAS A BIT MUCH, 284 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,607 BUT A MARKED IMPROVEMENT OVER YOUR OTHER PAPERS. 285 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,244 KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, SADIE. 286 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,346 OH, THIS IS GOOD. 287 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,181 "WHEN I CARELESSLY COVERED MY LIPS, 288 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,583 "BURNED RAW FROM THE SCALDING TEA, 289 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,853 "HE REACHED INTO HIS ICED MOCHA 290 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,255 "AND FISHED OUT A FEW PATHETIC CUBES, 291 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,491 "BUT IT WASN'T THE ICE HE USED TO NUMB MY PAIN. 292 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,993 "IT WAS HIS KISS. 293 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,995 THE FIRST KISS--" 294 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,831 I'D READ ON, BUT I DON'T WANT KYLE'S HEAD TO EXPLODE HERE. 295 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:40,267 MISS HAMILTON, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WRITE THE FANTASY. 296 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,401 - IT WAS MY TURN TO GET CALLED OUT. 297 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,636 MR. HART HAD A BUILT-IN B.S. DETECTOR. 298 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,773 HE KNEW IT WASN'T A REDO OF THE ORIGINAL. 299 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,307 - BUT THIS FEELS REAL. 300 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,276 MAYBE THE STORY WASN'T REAL, BUT THE CHEMISTRY YOU CREATED 301 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,779 BETWEEN THOSE TWO ARGUABLY PRECIOUS CHARACTERS 302 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,646 WAS PALPABLE. 303 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,582 - I WAS CONVINCED MY COLLIN OBSESSION 304 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:58,651 WASN'T A THREAT TO MY RELATIONSHIP, 305 00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:01,822 BUT IF IT FELT REAL ON PAPER, MAYBE IT WAS REAL OFF OF IT. 306 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,191 - YOU'RE MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD. 307 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:09,029 OH, YOU GOT AN EYELASH. 308 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,197 MAKE A WISH. 309 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,132 - I WISHED WHAT WAS HAPPENING WASN'T. 310 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,601 I HAD TAKEN ALL THE BLAME FOR THE SEXY MOVIES IN MY HEAD, 311 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,370 BUT IT TURNS OUT MY FANTASIES WEREN'T JUST ONE-SIDED. 312 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,539 COLLIN WAS EGGING IT ON. 313 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,409 HE WAS THE ONE WHO HAD OPENED UP PANDORA'S BOX, NOT ME. 314 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,111 I HAD NO IDEA WHO PANDORA WAS, 315 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,879 BUT HER BOX NEEDED TO STAY CLOSED 316 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,580 SO NOBODY ELSE'S BOX WOULD OPEN. 317 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,581 [bell ringing] 318 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,717 - WHAT'D YOU WISH FOR? 319 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:31,919 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 320 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,553 - I THINK YOU DO. - NOPE. 321 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,155 - I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR STORY THAT OBVIOUSLY TOOK PLACE 322 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,156 AT THE COFFEEHOUSE, 323 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,925 THE LUST, THE EYELASH BLOWING. 324 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,393 THAT PAPER WASN'T ABOUT YOUR FIRST TIME WITH MATTY. 325 00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:43,230 IT WAS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT YOUR FIRST TIME WITH COLLIN TO BE. 326 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,832 - IT'S FICTION. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 327 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:45,833 - I NEVER SAID YOU DID. 328 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:49,336 BUT NOW I KNOW YOU WANTED TO. 329 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,603 AND I'M GOING TO TELL. 330 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,273 - WHO ARE YOU GONNA TELL? - WHO DO YOU THINK? 331 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,475 - DON'T TELL. - OH, I'M GOING TO. 332 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,743 - I'M GONNA GET THERE FIRST. - I DOUBT IT. 333 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,445 I HAVE LONGER LEGS. 334 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,147 - WHAT IS GOING ON? 335 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,548 - JENNA HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. 336 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,417 - WHAT IS IT? - I, UH... 337 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,853 GOT AN "A" ON MY PAPER. 338 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,587 MM! 339 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,756 YEAH! 340 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,591 - WEIRD. 341 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,860 - I'M WORRIED THIS COLLIN THING MIGHT BE MORE 342 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,561 THAN JUST A FANTASY. 343 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,229 I THINK I MIGHT HAVE ACTUAL FEELINGS FOR HIM. 344 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,131 - DON'T PUT THOSE THOUGHTS OUT IN THE UNIVERSE. 345 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,267 LAST TIME I DID THAT, A GUY ENDED UP DEAD. 346 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,535 WAIT, YOU DON'T WANT TO ACT ON THOSE FEELINGS, DO YOU? 347 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:23,670 PLEASE SAY NO. 348 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,172 - NO? 349 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,373 - YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED. 350 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,774 WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SABOTAGE IT? 351 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,509 - I DON'T KNOW. 352 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,211 - A FANTASY IS JUST THAT. 353 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,779 AND IT'S NEVER AS GOOD AS THE REALITY. 354 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,048 NIALL FROM ONE DIRECTION AND I ARE SOUL MATES, 355 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,449 AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME. 356 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,750 MY AUTOGRAPHED PIC OF HIM, 357 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,586 THE ONE OF HIM STANDING ON THE DIVING BOARD IN A TUX, 358 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,088 I BET HE DIDN'T EVEN SIGN IT. 359 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,890 MY POINT IS, YOU NEED TO END THIS FLIRTATIONSHIP 360 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,624 Y'ASAP. 361 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,893 "YESTERDAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE." 362 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,928 JENNA, YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS A HOUSE OF CARDS. 363 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,562 DON'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR A BREEZE. 364 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,231 - I AM NOT THE ONE OPENING THE DOOR. 365 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,933 COLLIN IS. HE'S THE ONE SQUEEZING MY ARM 366 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,601 AND PULLING EYELASHES OFF OF MY FACE. 367 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:55,768 - YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM. 368 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,804 - MATTY? - NO, COLLIN. 369 00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,140 - HE IS NOT A CHEATER. 370 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,508 - WHO? - MATTY. 371 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,976 - NO, FRED. - FRED WHO? 372 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,344 - FRED WU. 373 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,914 HE'S GOING AWAY FOR GOOD, THANKS TO BECCA. 374 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:09,282 IF IT TAKES THE REST OF MY LIFE, 375 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:12,119 I AM GOING TO TAKE THAT [bleep] DOWN. 376 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:14,754 [dramatic music] 377 00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:15,923 [growls] 378 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:18,791 * 379 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:19,993 I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, 380 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,761 AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT. 381 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,496 - WHAT'S WRONG, MING MING? 382 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,398 - YOU HAD FRED'S HOUSE REDISTRICTED 383 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,766 SO HE HAD TO TRANSFER SCHOOLS, 384 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,001 AND THEN YOU FRAMED HIM 385 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,702 SO HE HAS TO LEAVE THE STATE! 386 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,639 - IF THIS WAS A CHESS GAME, AND IT IS, 387 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:33,941 I'M THE GRANDMASTER, 388 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:36,509 AND I JUST OPENED WITH A SVESHNIKOV SICILIAN. 389 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,612 REALITY IS, MING FEI YEN HUANG, 390 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,581 I WILL ALWAYS BE FIVE MOVES AHEAD OF YOU, 391 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,351 AND YOU WILL ALWAYS GET CRUSHED. 392 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,786 - YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT. 393 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:50,057 IN FACT, YOU'VE BEEN RIGHT ABOUT ME ALL ALONG. 394 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,792 I'M NOT ASIAN. I'M WHITE. 395 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,728 AND YOU KNOW HOW A WHITE BITCH DEALS WITH AN ASIAN BITCH? 396 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,965 SHE GETS IN HER FACE. 397 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,166 - OOF! 398 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:02,202 [crowd gasps] 399 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:05,172 - GOOD-BYE, KITTY! 400 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,406 - PUSHED TO HER LIMIT, 401 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,541 MING HAD FINALLY GONE FULL-ON BANANA PANTS. 402 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,510 AND IT WAS INSPIRING. 403 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,345 MAYBE I NEEDED TO HANDLE MY PROBLEMS 404 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,446 LIKE A WHITE BITCH TOO. 405 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,248 IT'S NOT THAT I PLANNED TO PUNCH COLLIN. 406 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,583 I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIS CRUSH 407 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,650 A SERIOUS BEAT-DOWN. 408 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,419 AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE PROTESTED, 409 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,688 I WAS GOING TO PUT AN END TO THE FLIRTATIONSHIP 410 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:22,789 ONCE AND FOR ALL. 411 00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,658 [pop music] 412 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,996 - * AS I LAY IN THERE 413 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,263 * IN THE SHADOWS 414 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,165 - WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE MUCH EASIER THAN I THOUGHT 415 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,401 BECAUSE IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD. 416 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,738 - "WHILE GUILT HAD BEEN THE FRONTRUNNER OF MY EMOTIONS, 417 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,274 "IT WAS FORCED TO TAKE A BACKSEAT TO REJECTION, 418 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,310 "WITH ANGER IN HOT PURSUIT. 419 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,012 "I WAS MAD AT MYSELF FOR FEELING REJECTED, 420 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,513 "WHICH BROUGHT ME RIGHT BACK TO GUILT 421 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,315 FOR HAVING THOSE FEELINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE." 422 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,416 [knock at door] 423 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,184 - WHY WAS THIS PAPER IN THE TRASH? 424 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,021 AND WHY ARE YOU IN BED AT 7:00? 425 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:58,558 - BECAUSE I'M TIRED. 426 00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,926 - ARE WE HAVING A FAMILY MEETING? 427 00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,095 - NO. - OH, IT'S OKAY, JENNA. 428 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,197 WE CAN HAVE ONE WITHOUT YOU. 429 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:07,067 LACE, I AM SO PROUD OF OUR DAUGHTER. 430 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,268 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? 431 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,138 - NOT ONLY HAVE I SEEN IT, I'VE READ IT. 432 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,772 I DUG IT OUT OF THE TRASH, 433 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,641 AND YOUR PAPER IS AWESOME. 434 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,808 - NO, IT'S NOT. 435 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,410 IT'S DISGUSTING AND DESPICABLE 436 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,046 AND ALMOST RUINED MY LIFE. 437 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:21,048 - BUT YOU GOT AN "A." - I DESERVED AN "F." 438 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,250 THE PAPER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MATTY, BUT IT-- 439 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,452 IT WAS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE. 440 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:26,453 - COLLIN? - MOM! 441 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,454 - WHO'S THAT? 442 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,555 - THIS BOY SHE HAS A CRUSH ON. 443 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:29,556 - THERE'S NO CRIME 444 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,058 IN HAVING A CRUSH, JENNA. 445 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,125 - HE'S RIGHT. 446 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,426 THE FANTASY HELPS SUSTAIN THE REALITY. 447 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,062 I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR FATHER AND I WOULD BE 448 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,463 WITHOUT OUR CELEBRITY SANDWICHES. 449 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,964 - YOUR WHAT? - THE TOP TWO FAMOUS PEOPLE 450 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,132 WE'D LIKE TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF. 451 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:42,302 - MY BREAD IS CLIVE OWEN AND RYAN GOSLING, 452 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,071 AND YOUR FATHER'S IS CHARLIZE THERON 453 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,838 AND KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS, 454 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,207 WHO YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRADE IN. 455 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,675 SHE'S GETTING UP THERE. 456 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,910 - WOULD YOU RATHER ME BEING INTO SOMEONE JENNA'S AGE? 457 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,812 - GOOD POINT. - MM. 458 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:53,946 - DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL STILL BE INTO ME 459 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,382 WHEN MY BOOBS HIT THE FLOOR? 460 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,983 - THOSE THINGS AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE. 461 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,586 AND I'LL ALWAYS BE INTO YOU, WOMAN. 462 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,621 MM. - OKAY. 463 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,955 FAMILY MEETING OVER. NOT IN MY BED. 464 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,957 NOT IN MY BED. NOT IN MY BED. NO. 465 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,294 - [giggling] 466 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,098 - "APART FROM THE TRAUMA OF BEING EXPOSED 467 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:13,466 "TO MY PARENTS' MAKE-OUT SESH AND CELEBRITY SUBS, 468 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,902 "I HAD TO ADMIT, I FELT RELIEVED. 469 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:16,969 "AND NORMAL. 470 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,471 "EVEN WITH OLD MARRIED COUPLES, 471 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,408 HAVING FANTASIES WAS A GIVEN." 472 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,410 - SO I THOUGHT THAT WE COULD GO OUT TONIGHT, 473 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,444 NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL DONE WRITING. 474 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,113 - I HAD EXONERATED MYSELF, 475 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,815 CLEARED MY NAME OF ANY CRIMES OF MENTAL PASSION. 476 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:32,119 BUT IT DIDN'T MEAN SADIE WOULD. 477 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,386 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 478 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,655 - UH, IT'S GIRL SIGNAL 479 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,024 FOR "YOUR MASCARA'S RUNNING." 480 00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:41,961 OH, GOTTA GO. BETTER FIX IT. BYE. 481 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,296 - ARE YOU TERRORIZING MY GIRLFRIEND? 482 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:46,633 - NO, JUST SAVORING THE EROTIC WRITTEN WORD. 483 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,668 YOU'VE READ JENNA'S PAPER, RIGHT? 484 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,470 - NO. - INTERESTING! 485 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,273 I WONDER WHY THAT IS. 486 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,741 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO START HERE, SADE, 487 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,176 BUT LEAVE JENNA ALONE, OKAY? 488 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,577 - IF YOU HAD READ THE PAPER, YOU WOULD KNOW 489 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:01,548 THAT I'M NOT THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE LASHING OUT AT. 490 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,015 - THE RUMORS HAVE BEEN SWIRLING 491 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,284 ABOUT YESTERDAY'S FIGHT, 492 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,686 BUT I WANTED TO HEAR IT FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH. 493 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,155 IN DETAIL. 494 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,956 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE'VE HAD A GOOD BITCH BRAWL. 495 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,291 - EVEN THOUGHT FIGHTING ON SCHOOL GROUNDS 496 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,392 IS PUNISHABLE BY EXPULSION 497 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,793 AND A LONG STINT IN JUVEY, 498 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,296 SHE CHOSE TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE, 499 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,365 UNPROVOKED. 500 00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:22,068 MY DOCTOR SAYS I HAVE A DETACHED RETINA. 501 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,070 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A NOTE, MS. MARKS? 502 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,405 - NAH, I ONLY READ ON MY KINDLE NOW. 503 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,240 - SHE'S LYING. 504 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,308 FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS, 505 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,842 SHE HAS MADE IT HER PERSONAL MISSION 506 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,644 TO RUIN MY LIFE. 507 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,813 - POOR THING'S SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA. 508 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,549 I'M A QUIET GIRL FROM A NICE ASIAN FAMILY. 509 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,618 I DON'T EVEN OWN A PAIR OF HIGH HEELS 510 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,786 OR A CELLULAR PHONE. 511 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,454 - CELL. NO ONE SAYS "CELLULAR". 512 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,191 - SHE DOESN'T NEED A CELL PHONE. 513 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,193 SHE HAS TELEPATHIC POWERS. 514 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:48,261 - SOUNDS LIKE YOU THINK BECCA'S MAGIC. 515 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,596 YOU CALLING HER A WITCH? 516 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,864 - AMONG OTHER THINGS. - [whimpers] 517 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,966 THAT HURTS MY HEART. [sniffles] 518 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,268 - JUST GO AHEAD AND EXPEL ME. 519 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,204 BUST OUT THE PAPERWORK. I'LL SIGN IT. 520 00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,506 - WHY? I HAVE 32 NOTARIZED AFFIDAVITS 521 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,308 SWEARING BECCA WALKED INTO A DOOR. 522 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:04,677 [dramatic drum roll] 523 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,680 [heroic music] 524 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:15,622 * 525 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:22,829 - [screams] 526 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,265 - I THOUGHT YOU'D BE THE ONE WHO WAS IN TROUBLE, MING. 527 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,733 - SO DID I! 528 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,835 - MING DIDN'T HAVE TO LOOK OVER HER SHOULDER ANYMORE, 529 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,771 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO LOOK OVER MINE. 530 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:37,477 YOU NEED TO READ THIS. 531 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,379 - YOU SURE? - "I WAS RELIEVED. 532 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,913 "FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES. 533 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,516 "AND IT HAD BEEN THREE HOURS SINCE I GAVE MATTY MY PAPER. 534 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,685 "SURE, HE WAS A SLOW READER, BUT NOT THAT SLOW. 535 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:46,853 "IT WAS FINE. 536 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,621 "THERE WERE NO NAMES, NO SPECIFICS, 537 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,056 "AND NO WAY ANYONE COULD FIGURE OUT 538 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:51,891 "IT WAS ABOUT COLLIN. 539 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:55,428 MATTY WOULD NEVER KNOW." [phone vibrates] 540 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,596 [beep] HI. 541 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,365 - I READ YOUR PAPER. 542 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,734 YOU NEED TO COME OVER. NOW. 543 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,102 - HE KNOWS. 544 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,004 [ominous music] 545 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,409 - YOUR PAPER. - I KNOW IT WAS UNSETTLING, 546 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,710 BUT IT WASN'T REAL. 547 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,879 IT WAS JUST A MOMENTARY... 548 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,547 LAPSE IN JUDGMENT. 549 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,349 - IT WAS HOT. 550 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,419 I KNOW IT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN THAT WAY. 551 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,488 BUT IT CAN. 552 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,890 - IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT MY STORY WAS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE 553 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,659 BECAUSE MY FANTASY HAD JUMPED OFF THE PAGE. 554 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,462 MATTY MCKIBBEN WAS THE REAL DEAL. 555 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:33,400 AND FINALLY, I COULD GET BACK TO MY BASICS... 556 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,502 AND ONLY IMAGINE HIM. 557 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,607 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... COLLIN INVITED US 558 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,974 TO A PARTY FOR THAT PHOTOGRAPHER WE LIKED 559 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,543 AT HIS GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE. 560 00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,345 - BUT FRIDAY'S THE JULIES' ANNUAL BLACK FRIDAY PARTY. 561 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,913 - YOU'RE THROWING A PARTY WITH THE JULIES? 562 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,549 I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M BEING SELFISH. 563 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,017 - YOU'RE 16. 564 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,586 IF THERE'S EVER A TIME TO BE SELFISH, IT'S NOW. 565 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,054 - WHERE'S JENNA? - GOOD QUESTION. 566 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,055 - PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA LEAVE. 567 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:56,989 - I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.