1 00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:04,438 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:05,439 - I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MATTY, 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:06,640 AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. 4 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,142 COLLIN? 5 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,678 WAS IT REALLY POSSIBLE THAT, IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, 6 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,314 JENNA HAMILTON WAS COOLER THAN MATTY MCKIBBEN? 7 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,383 - YOU SEEM A LITTLE OUT OF HIS LEAGUE. 8 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:16,517 - WHAT DO YOU SEE IN ME? 9 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,755 - IT WAS A MAGICAL DAY, A DAY OF RECORD. 10 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,458 MATTY AND I HAD HIT THE SIX-MONTH MARK OF COUPLEDOM, 11 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:27,695 AND AS SUCH, I WAS REFLECTING ON HOW FAR WE'D COME, 12 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,697 'CAUSE THERE WAS AN EVOLUTION TO RELATIONSHIPS, 13 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:30,831 AND BY ALL ACCOUNTS, 14 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,800 WE WERE EACH OTHER'S MISSING LINK. 15 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,402 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME, 16 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,504 I HAD A SENSE OF PEACE ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR UNION. 17 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,606 - [panting] 18 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,374 - EVEN OUR HONEYMOON CHAPTER HAD CLOSED. 19 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,475 GONE WERE THE DAYS 20 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,111 OF COPIOUS PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION... 21 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,478 - GO GET 'EM, SUGAR BOOGER. 22 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,946 - I WILL, MY TINY TIGER. 23 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,715 - AND UNCENSORED BABY TALK. 24 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,683 I DEFINITELY DIDN'T MISS THOSE DAYS. 25 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,852 'CAUSE MATTY AND I WERE FULLY EVOLVED, 26 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:54,855 SO MUCH SO THAT WE HAD EVEN BYPASSED THE ERA OF BEING-- 27 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,157 - JEALOUS? - OF WHAT? 28 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,492 - THE MCKIBBENITES. 29 00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,660 - THOSE ARE THE GIRLS 30 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,362 THAT WERE DANCING WITH MATTY AT HOMECOMING. 31 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,363 THEY'RE HARMLESS. 32 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,964 - NO, THOSE ARE RABID FAN GIRLS 33 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,499 WAITING FOR YOU TO SLIP AND CRACK YOUR HEAD. 34 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,700 JUST REMEMBER, TODAY'S FAN CLUB 35 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,136 IS TOMORROW'S CONSOLE PATROL. 36 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,503 - THEY'RE JUST CHEERING HIM ON. 37 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:13,006 [girls screaming] 38 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,242 - THAT'S NOT CHEERING, JENNA. 39 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,409 IT'S 50 SHADES OF CRAY. 40 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,444 - I'M NOT WORRIED. 41 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:18,946 I CAN SHARE THE GLORY OF MY BOYFRIEND. 42 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,614 [girls screaming] 43 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,849 AND I COULD. 44 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,218 MATTY AND I WERE BEYOND THE PLATEAU OF PETTINESS, 45 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,187 AND LIVED ON THE HIGHEST BRANCH OF THE TRUST TREE. 46 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,621 WE WERE SECURE. 47 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:31,959 WE COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THROWN AT US. 48 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,494 OR ANYONE. 49 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:40,634 - SORRY ABOUT THAT STRANGE OUTBURST WITH DANA. 50 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,770 - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. 51 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,272 YOU DIDN'T MAUL HER. SHE MAULED YOU. 52 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,339 IT WAS CUTE. 53 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,340 - YOU'RE NOT JEALOUS? 54 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,708 - NO, I'M VALIDATED. 55 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,311 CLEARLY, I HAVE GOOD TASTE. 56 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,281 - HEY, BABE. LOOKS LIKE I GOT A FAN TOO. 57 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,219 - TAMARA IS LIVING AND BREATHING, 58 00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,520 SO IF YOU DON'T MOVE IT, YOU'LL LOSE IT, 59 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,688 'CAUSE I COULD CUT A BITCH. 60 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,656 - HELLO, BODYGUARD. - SHUT IT, ROSATI. 61 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,192 YOU ARE ONE FLIRT AWAY FROM MAKING ME 62 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,859 MARK MY TERRITORY THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 63 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:06,927 - AND THAT WOULD BE? 64 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:07,928 - WITH PEE, LIKE A DOG. I'LL DO IT. 65 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,463 - YOU'RE A MANIAC. 66 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,365 - I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE THE BELL RINGS. 67 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,033 - OR YOU COULD HAVE YOUR FAN CLUB LICK YOU CLEAN. 68 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,203 - THAT'S NOT NECESSARY, UNLESS YOU'D LIKE THE JOB. 69 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:18,639 - [sniffs] UGH, PASS. 70 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,640 - BYE. 71 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,344 YO. 72 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,812 - HOW CAN YOU BE SO COOL 73 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,047 WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND BEING MOBBED AND MANHANDLED? 74 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,717 - IT'S CALLED TRUST, T. YOU SHOULD TRY IT. 75 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:32,553 - TRUST. NONE OF YOU TRUST YOURSELVES. 76 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,888 YOU GUYS ARE WRITING THINGS THAT YOU THINK I WANT TO READ? 77 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,690 TRUST ME, I DON'T WANT TO READ ANY OF IT. 78 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:40,060 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WRITE? 79 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,662 NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA? 80 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,565 YOU GUYS ARE SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF PUBERTY. 81 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:45,566 WELL, SOME OF YOU. 82 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,268 YOU GUYS HAVE RAGING HORMONES, 83 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:51,705 WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN SMELL. 84 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,875 THIS IS THE PRE-EJACULATION OF YOUR LIVES. 85 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:58,078 YOU GUYS ARE ON THE PRECIPICE OF EXPLODING. 86 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,414 AND THEN, IN TEN YEARS, 87 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,949 IT'LL ALL GO FLACCID. 88 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,851 SO IF YOU CAN'T GET INSPIRED NOW, 89 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,286 THEN [bleep] BULL[bleep] ME. 90 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:10,824 HOODWINK ME INTO BELIEVING THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. 91 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,493 FINE. YOU GUYS NEED AN INCENTIVE. 92 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,595 WHO WANTS TO ERADICATE 50% OF THEIR GRADE? 93 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,497 - MR. HART WAS LAYING A TRAP. 94 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,798 HE WAS BEING UNDERHANDED, 95 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,833 AND I WAS FAR TOO SAVVY TO TAKE THE BAIT. 96 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,936 - BIG SURPRISE. YOU'RE PLAYING IT SAFE. 97 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,272 - NO, I'M NOT. - IT'S OKAY. 98 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,274 THERE'S A LOT OF SAFE, CONVENTIONAL WRITERS 99 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,376 WHO FIND SUCCESS WRITING TEXTBOOKS. 100 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:31,144 - I'M NOT PLAYING IT SAFE. - YEAH, YOU ARE. 101 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,145 - SHUT UP, SADIE. 102 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,146 - WHY SHOULD SHE SHUT UP? 103 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,848 WHEN I LOOK AT YOU, I SEE A GIRL 104 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,550 WHO KEEPS IT ALL INSIDE. 105 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,719 AND THEN I READ YOU, AND YOU PROVE ME RIGHT, 106 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,488 BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING PERSONAL ON THE PAGE. 107 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:41,855 YOU NEVER TAKE ANY CHANCES. 108 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,156 - BULL[bleep]. 109 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,625 - OH, WOW, FINALLY, SOMETHING UNEXPECTED FROM YOU. 110 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:45,959 - NOT TRUE. 111 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,628 I'VE WRITTEN PLENTY OF STUFF 112 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,663 THAT'S PERSONAL AND UNEXPECTED. 113 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,864 I'VE EXPOSED MYSELF-- 114 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:51,899 - NOT IN THIS CLASS. 115 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,634 AND I BET YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE 116 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,202 TO READ SOMETHING OUT LOUD 117 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,504 THAT EXPOSES VULNERABILITY. 118 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,038 - I CAN READ ANYTHING I'VE WRITTEN. 119 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,039 - OH, SO YOU'RE ACCEPTING MY CHALLENGE? 120 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,107 - YEAH. 121 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,208 DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT SITTING DOWN, 122 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,410 OR UP THERE, IN FRONT OF THE CLASS? 123 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,478 - NEITHER. YOU'RE GOING TO READ IT HERE. 124 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:07,315 AT BEAN THERE, DONE THAT, TONIGHT, 8:00 P.M. 125 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,316 IT'S OPEN MIC NIGHT. 126 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,983 BE THERE, OR 50% OF YOUR GRADE 127 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,018 IS GOING TO BE A ZERO. 128 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,219 - HE IS A LUNATIC, 129 00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,220 AND SADISTIC. 130 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,888 HE IS LITERALLY HOLDING ME HOSTAGE. 131 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,557 - YOU SAID YOU VOLUNTEERED. 132 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,659 - ONLY AFTER HE MANIPULATED ME. 133 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,060 I AM TELLING YOU, 134 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,430 HE IS A CUNNING AND BRILLIANT SOCIOPATH. 135 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,431 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 136 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,467 THOSE ARE VERY STRONG WORDS. 137 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,501 SO BREAK IT DOWN. 138 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,836 WHAT'S THE METHOD TO HIS MADNESS? 139 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,771 DOES HE EMPLOY CORPORAL PUNISHMENT? 140 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,806 WATERBOARDING? SODA BOARDING? 141 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,907 IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, 142 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,108 THE BUBBLES WOULD MAKE IT A LOT WORSE. 143 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,577 - HE DOESN'T BEAT ME PHYSICALLY, 144 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,646 BUT EMOTIONALLY, I AM STARTING TO FEEL SCARRED. 145 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,815 HE BASICALLY CALLED ME A [bleep] IN CLASS. 146 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:42,816 - WELL... 147 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,251 - "WELL" WHAT? 148 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,386 - IF IT WALKS LIKE A DUCK, 149 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,520 AND IT TALKS LIKE A DUCK, 150 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,988 IT'S PROBABLY A [bleep]. 151 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,189 - I AM NOT A [bleep]. 152 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,558 - DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE YOU, GIRL, 153 00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,493 BUT YOU DO ERR ON THE MILKIER SIDE OF TOAST. 154 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,594 - NOT TRUE. 155 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:54,995 - THEN WHY ARE YOU IN HERE COMPLAINING? 156 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,397 - BECAUSE HE IS ASKING ME 157 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:59,166 TO READ SOMETHING PERSONAL AT OPEN MIC. 158 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,669 BEAN THERE, DONE THAT? - WELL, YEAH. 159 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:04,204 - AH, I LOVE THAT PLACE. OH, BUT, 160 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,006 MAN, IS IT A TOUGH CROWD. - REALLY? 161 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,541 - YOU BETTER BRING SOMETHING GOOD TO READ. 162 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,210 I'D SUGGEST AUGUST 26TH, 2011. 163 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,745 OR SEPTEMBER 17TH. 164 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,081 NO, AUGUST 26TH. 165 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,383 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 166 00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,050 - YOUR BLOG. 167 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,452 IT'S A WINNER. 168 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:21,221 - AND NOW I HAVE TO GO READ AT THIS STUPID COFFEE HOUSE. 169 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,390 IT'S GONNA SUCK. 170 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,057 I'M GONNA TANK. - YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT. 171 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,627 AND I WILL BE THERE TO CATCH YOU IF YOU FALL. 172 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,161 - NO, YOU WON'T. YOU CAN'T COME. 173 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,930 I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO COME. 174 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,899 - WHAT DON'T YOU WANT US TO COME TO THAT WE'RE COMING TO? 175 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,300 - NOTHING. - SHE'S GOT A PERFORMANCE 176 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,735 TONIGHT WHICH SHE'S NOW SHUTTING ME OUT OF. 177 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,570 - THAT'S NOT TRUE, I AM SHUTTING ALL OF YOU OUT OF IT. 178 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,038 I AM NERVOUS AND INSECURE. 179 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,941 AND WE DON'T NEED TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER. 180 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:44,144 - ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I NEED TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER? 181 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,413 - WELL, NO. 182 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:48,048 - BECAUSE JAKE AND I HAVE PLANS TONIGHT. 183 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,983 RIGHT? - RIGHT. 184 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,552 - THEN WHY DID YOU WANT TO CATCH ME IF I FALL? 185 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,253 - I FORGOT. 186 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,722 - WHEN DID YOU MAKE PLANS WITHOUT ME? 187 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,424 WE MIGHT HAVE PLANS TONIGHT. - DO WE? 188 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,891 - NO, BUT THE OPTION WAS AVAILABLE. 189 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,994 - LOOK, YOU DO YOU AND I'LL DO ME. 190 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,563 - THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DO YOU, 191 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,432 BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE DOING ME ANYTIME SOON 192 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,866 WITH A 'TUDE LIKE THAT. - FINE. 193 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,000 - FINE. - FINE. 194 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,436 - FINE. 195 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:13,040 WE'RE HAVING A, UH, "BROBECUE." 196 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,175 - "BROBECUE," REALLY? 197 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,578 SINCE WHEN DID MATTY START ROCKING MY LEXICON? 198 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,447 - SINCE HE STARTED POSTURING IN AN ATTEMPT 199 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:22,049 TO COVER HIS CODEPENDENCY, WHICH IS CUTE. 200 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,585 WHAT'S NOT CUTE IS THIS FREAKING ASSIGNMENT. 201 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,286 WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA READ? 202 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,355 - WHAT ABOUT THAT POST AFTER YOU WENT TO CHURCH CAMP? 203 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,024 IT'S TOPICAL AND SAFE, DEFINITELY USE THAT. 204 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,526 - SAFE WAS EXACTLY HOW MR. HART 205 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,727 EXPECTED ME TO PLAY IT. 206 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,129 NO, I'M NOT GONNA BE SAFE. 207 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,166 GOTTA GO EMOTIONALLY BARE NAKED. 208 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,535 NAKED. 209 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:45,072 AUGUST 26TH, 2011-- OH, THIS IS PERFECT. 210 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,306 - I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT. 211 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,509 - THEN YOU'RE GONNA BE WAITING A LONG TIME, 212 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,143 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT COMING TONIGHT. 213 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,179 - I THOUGHT THAT SHOW OF NO GO WAS JUST FOR THE BOYS. 214 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,682 WHAT AM I GONNA DO? - SORRY, T, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. 215 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,349 - UGH. 216 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,524 WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO TONIGHT? 217 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,526 - ARE YOU GIRLS INVITING ME TO HANG OUT? 218 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,294 - NO, JUST ME. JENNA HAS PLANS. 219 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,929 - OH. WHAT IS SHE DOING? 220 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,499 - SHE'S READING SOMETHING AT AN OPEN MIC THINGY 221 00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:14,301 AT THAT COFFEE PLACE WITH OLD PEOPLE FROM THE '90s. 222 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,004 - UM, THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOT OLD. 223 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,506 - ARE YOU HUNGRY? I'M HUNGRY. 224 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,542 YOU WANNA MAKE US PIZZA? 225 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,677 OR YOU COULD ORDER ONE. 226 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,012 - MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST ORDER PIZZA. 227 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,280 - WE'RE GRILLING. THAT'S WHAT MEN DO. 228 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,850 - MEN ALSO ORDER PIZZA TOO. - YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? 229 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,118 - BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU JUST PUT STEAKS 230 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:34,021 ON A GRILL THAT'S NOT HOT? 231 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,023 - DID YOU SEE ALL THOSE GIRLS ON ME TODAY? 232 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,058 JENNA DIDN'T EVEN MAKE HALF A STINK-EYE. 233 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,226 - [sighs] OH. 234 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,629 OH. OH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? 235 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,196 - WORLD'S SMALLEST VIOLIN? - NO. 236 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,765 IT'S THE WORLD'S TINIEST JERKOFF. 237 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,133 YOU GOTTA STOP BITCHING. 238 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,068 YOU'RE REALLY MAKING ME WANNA KICK YOUR ASS AGAIN. 239 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,670 - YOU KICKED MY ASS? - YEAH. 240 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:50,738 - MORE LIKE SUCKER-PUNCHED. 241 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:51,972 I'M NOT THE ONE WHO HIT THE GROUND. 242 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,541 AND I'VE GOTTA STOP BITCHING? WHAT ABOUT YOU? 243 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:54,842 "TAMARA DOESN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. 244 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,043 "TAMARA DOESN'T WANT ME TO DO THAT. 245 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,345 I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT TAMARA." 246 00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,913 YOU SHOULD BE BITCHING MORE. 247 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,414 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF BITCH DOESN'T BITCH? 248 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,250 A SILLY LITTLE BITCH LIKE YOU. 249 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,451 - REALLY? - YEAH. 250 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:05,719 - WHO'S THE ONE CHECKING THEIR PHONE? 251 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,087 "WILL SHE TEXT ME? 252 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,822 WHY HASN'T SHE TEXTED ME?" - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 253 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,424 ALL YOU'VE DONE SINCE WE'VE GOT HERE IS TEXT TAMARA. 254 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,793 "HEY, BABE, JUST GOT HERE. 255 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,862 "HEY, BABE, WE'RE GRILLIN' STEAKS, MISS YOU. 256 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,164 "HEY, BABE, I JUST SCRATCHED MY ASS. O.M.G. L.O.L." 257 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,431 - I BET YOU CAN'T GO TWO MINUTES 258 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,167 WITHOUT CHECKING YOUR PHONE. 259 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,135 - YOU WANNA PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS? 260 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:25,706 50 BUCKS SAYS YOU CAN'T KEEP OFF YOUR PHONE ALL NIGHT. 261 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,974 - I'LL BET YOU CAN'T GO THE NIGHT 262 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,910 WITHOUT MENTIONING JENNA. - AND NO TAMARA? 263 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,912 OH, YOU'RE ON. 264 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,595 - I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. 265 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,497 I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. 266 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,003 - WELCOME TO "BEEN THERE, DONE THAT" OPEN MIC NIGHT. 267 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,338 - I CAN'T DO THIS. 268 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,007 I WAS PETRIFIED, FOR GOOD REASON. 269 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,776 AND YET, I WASN'T SURE WHAT THE REASON REALLY WAS. 270 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,311 I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE IN THE CROWD. 271 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,046 NO ONE WAS GONNA KNOW ME. 272 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,081 I WAS ANONYMOUS, INVISIBLE, AND... 273 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,917 - JENNA. 274 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,222 IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN. - TOTALLY EXPOSED. 275 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,427 - EVERYONE I DIDN'T WANNA SEE WAS IN THE CROWD, 276 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:23,096 SO I WANTED TO SEE THE ONE PERSON WHO WASN'T. 277 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,632 IF I WAS GONNA BE A SINKING SHIP, 278 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,499 I NEEDED SOMEONE TO FLOAT ME A LIFELINE. 279 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,068 - HEY, THIS IS MATTY, LEAVE A MESSAGE. 280 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,236 - I NEED YOU. 281 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,470 - SMELLS LIKE OLD SPIRIT JUST CALLED YOUR NAME. 282 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,672 YOU'RE UP. - NO. I CAN'T GO. 283 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,140 I AM NOT READY. - HEY, HEY, HEY. 284 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,842 DON'T LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY. 285 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:37,945 I'LL WARM UP THE CROWD FOR YOU. 286 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,647 - LET'S GO TO IT. JENNA. 287 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:41,148 - BAD MAMA JAMA. 288 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,116 JENNA'S GOT COTTONMOUTH. 289 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,186 - OKAY, UH, THEN LET'S HEAR BAD MAMA JAMA. 290 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,156 [cheers and applause] 291 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,727 - GOOD EVENING, MY PEOPLES. 292 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,129 THE NEXT 15 MINUTES, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A RIDE 293 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,098 INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS. 294 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:01,101 THINGS ARE GONNA GET CRAZY, SEXY, COOL. 295 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,470 BUT WITH MY BRAND OF T-L-C, 296 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:06,073 WE WON'T BE CHASING WATERFALLS. 297 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,275 MM-MM. 298 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,310 - I COULDN'T FACE A HOSTILE CROWD. 299 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,745 AND MR. HART WAS A NO-SHOW, 300 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,114 SO HE WOULD NEVER KNOW IF I DID OR DIDN'T GO. 301 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,683 AND THAT MEANT I WAS GONE. 302 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:20,821 - THE INNER SWELL, A BELLY BUTTON SMELL. 303 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:26,059 NOW FOR MY INTERPRETIVE DANCE OF EVERYONE'S INNER STRUGGLE. 304 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:29,062 [low-key music] 305 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,800 * 306 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,201 WATCH OUT. 307 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:37,137 YOU MIGHT A GET A LITTLE DRIZZLE FROM MY SIZZLE. 308 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,642 - THIS IS GREAT. 309 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,145 JUST TWO OLD BUDS, COLD BREWSKIES. 310 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,515 GRILLING SOME STEAKS, NO GIRL TALK. 311 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,017 NO CELL PHONES BUZZING. 312 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,351 - THE ONLY BUZZ I'M GETTING 313 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,520 IS FROM YOUR [bleep] BEER. - OH, IT'S NOT MINE. 314 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,055 IT'S LEFT OVER FROM A KICKBACK AT, UH-- 315 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,224 - WHO? 316 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,259 - TATONKA. - OH. 317 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,061 - SHE'S A NEW GIRL. PROBABLY HAVEN'T MET HER YET. 318 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,230 SO DID YOU CATCH THAT GAME LAST NIGHT? 319 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,732 IT WAS PRETTY BRUTAL. - NO, NO. 320 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:07,735 I HAD TO GO TO JENN-- IFER LOPEZ'S CONCERT. 321 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:09,903 - REALLY, JENNIFER LOPEZ? 322 00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,571 WHAT'D YOU PAY FOR THAT TICKET? - IT WAS FREE. 323 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:14,307 'CAUSE LOVE DON'T COST A THING. 324 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,909 SO HOW'D YOU DO ON THAT TRIG QUIZ? 325 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,178 - PRETTY GOOD, BUT NOT AS GOOD AS... 326 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,148 SOMEONE. 327 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,482 OH, DID YOU PLAY THE NEW ASSASSIN'S CREED? 328 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:23,851 IT'S PRETTY SICK. - THAT'S WHAT I HEAR. 329 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,318 I HAVEN'T IT TRIED IT YET, 'CAUSE I ALWAYS 330 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,620 GET STUCK PLAYING MARIO KART BECAUSE J-- 331 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,624 - BECAUSE IT'S TOUGHER THAN YOU THOUGHT? 332 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,994 YOU READY TO TAP OUT? - I'M NOT TAPPING OUT. 333 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,997 [upbeat tribal music] 334 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:41,268 * 335 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,536 [phone vibrates] 336 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,807 * 337 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,341 - JENNA WANTS US TO LEAVE. 338 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,144 SHE DOESN'T WANT US TO HEAR WHAT SHE'S ABOUT TO READ. 339 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,014 WHAT IF IT'S ABOUT ME AND THE LETTER? 340 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,282 - WE'RE ADULTS. 341 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,483 THIS IS THE YOUNG WOMAN THAT WE RAISED. 342 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,119 WE CAN HANDLE WHATEVER SHE HAS TO SAY. 343 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,620 - [sighs] 344 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,189 * 345 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,358 - [clapping] 346 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,060 THAT WAS SOMETHING. 347 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,897 UM, IS JENNA HERE? 348 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,199 JENNA HAMILTON? 349 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,401 - WHOO! - LET'S HEAR IT FOR JENNA. 350 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:18,071 [cheers and applause] 351 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,973 - YEAH! 352 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,113 - HI. 353 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,082 MY NAME IS JENNA HAMILTON. 354 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,085 AND, UM, 355 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,221 THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY. 356 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,224 - I'LL BE IN THE CAR. 357 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,527 - MY STORY IS CALLED "RUBBED RAW AND REELING." 358 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,329 - WE CAN SEE HOW RUBBED RAW YOU ARE. 359 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,833 CLOSE YOUR LEGS. 360 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,841 - "IT WAS THE LAST DAY OF SUMMER CAMP 361 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,375 "DURING A LAME AFTERNOON DANCE, 362 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,977 "BUT MAGIC WAS IN THE AIR. 363 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,311 "THE DORKS WERE GETTING CRUNK 364 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,314 "AND THE REST OF US WERE GETTING DRUNK. 365 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,719 "FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I GOT MY BRACES OFF, 366 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,022 I DIDN'T FEEL INVISIBLE." 367 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,458 ALTHOUGH, INVISIBLE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE 368 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,260 A BAD PROPOSITION RIGHT NOW. 369 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,594 MY MOM'S HERE. 370 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,463 [laughter] 371 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,102 "SO THERE IT WAS, THE SIGNAL. 372 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,904 "I WAS HOPING HE'D DO SOMETHING MORE INSPIRED, 373 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,772 "LIKE SNIFF HIS ARMPITS, 374 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,975 BUT MATTY HAD A HABIT OF DOING THAT." 375 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,776 [laughter] 376 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:31,078 A LOT. 377 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,512 [laughter] 378 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,081 - [sniffing] 379 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,516 - YOU NERVOUS? - [scoffs] NO. 380 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,185 [sizzling] - YOU SHOULD BE. 381 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,552 THAT'S OUR LAST STEAK, MAN. 382 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,788 - OH, [bleep]! 383 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,924 - NO! - AAH! 384 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,627 OH, GROSS, MAN. 385 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,462 DON'T YOU EVER POWER WASH YOUR PATIO? 386 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,131 - IT'S FINE. IT'S TOTALLY EDIBLE. 387 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:54,767 - REALLY? THEN EAT IT. 388 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,403 - WELL, I WILL, 389 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:57,637 AFTER IT'S DONE COOKING. - NOPE. 390 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,907 YOU SAID IT'S EDIBLE. EAT IT NOW. 391 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,408 I DARE YOU. - [chuckles] 392 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,410 YOU DARE ME? WAS IS THIS, FIFTH GRADE? 393 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,345 - OH, I SEE. YOU'RE AFRAID, HM? 394 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,815 GUESS WE SHOULD'VE GRILLED CHICKEN INSTEAD. 395 00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:12,052 [bawking] 396 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,387 - DUDE, GIVE ME THAT. 397 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,923 - [chuckles] 398 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:19,626 - [grunts, chuckles] 399 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,229 OH, IT'S DELICIOUS. - THAT'S DISGUSTING. 400 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,464 - UGH. NO. 401 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,434 YOU KNOW WHAT'S DISGUSTING? 402 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,969 WHY DON'T YOU EAT THIS? 403 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:32,205 WHOLE. I DARE YOU. - OH, YEAH? 404 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,944 MMM. MMM. 405 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,546 SO GOOD. - NO CRYING. 406 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,849 [laughs] 407 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,852 - [grunts] I DARE YOU. 408 00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,720 [cackles] 409 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,197 - AAH! AAH. 410 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:02,569 [both groaning] 411 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,004 - WHAT DO YOU GOT? WHAT DO YOU GOT? 412 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,240 - CINNAMON, ONE CAP FULL. 413 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,541 - JUST ONE, HUH? - YEAH. 414 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,311 - PLEASE. - YOU HAVE TO SWALLOW IT! 415 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,882 [laughter] 416 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,850 - "YEAH, SO CHANGE WAS IN THE AIR. 417 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,286 "I COULD SMELL IT. 418 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:23,856 "THERE WAS CHANGE AND PINE-SCENTED CLEANSER. 419 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,093 "MY LADY BUSINESS WAS ON FIRE. 420 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,495 "BUT SOMEHOW, ADMITTING MY VIRGIN STATUS 421 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,030 SEEMED LIKE A BUZZKILL." 422 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,533 - GOOD MOVE. IT'S ALWAYS A BUZZKILL. 423 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,137 - NOT ALWAYS. 424 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,107 - AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S LAWS AGAINST PEDOPHILES. 425 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,443 [laughter] 426 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,777 THANKS. 427 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,480 I'D LOVE TO CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR SITE. 428 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,917 - [clapping] 429 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:54,621 WOW. I GUESS YOU'RE NOT THE CODDLING TYPE AFTER ALL. 430 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,623 PUTTING YOUR FEET TO THE FLAME DID YOU WONDERS. 431 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,258 - I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT. 432 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,493 WHAT'S YOUR NEXT TACTIC, BEATING ME? 433 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,429 - MAYBE. WILL THAT WORK? 434 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,731 - NO. - [chuckles] 435 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,200 WELL, THANKS FOR NOT TORTURING ME. 436 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,401 - IT APPEARED MY RELATIONSHIP 437 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,170 WITH MR. HART WAS ALSO EVOLVING. 438 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,439 WAS THAT A COMPLIMENT? 439 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,176 - I THINK THAT'S AS GOOD AS IT GETS. 440 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,444 - HE IS SUCH A STRANGE MAN. 441 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,846 - AND YOU'RE A WHORE, BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW? 442 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,081 - YOU GUYS WANNA GRAB A BITE? 443 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,450 - WITH HER? NO. 444 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,717 THANKS FOR THE SHOW AND TELL. 445 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,719 NEXT TIME, DON'T SHOW SO MUCH. 446 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,722 AND IF YOU DO, GET IT WAXED. 447 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,359 - WHAT ABOUT YOU? 448 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,461 YOU IN? 449 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,702 - SURE. 450 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,971 I'M IN. 451 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,078 - YOU DON'T THINK I'M GONNA DO IT, DO YOU? 452 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,380 - NO, NO WAY. - [scoffs] 453 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,981 - OH! 454 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,251 [phone clicks] 455 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,286 - YES! 456 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,453 YOU USED YOUR PHONE! 457 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:01,888 I WIN, MAN! 458 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,157 [laughs] WHOO-HOO! 459 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,225 - YOU JUST SHAVED YOUR LEGS 460 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,926 AND HAVE PINK FINGERNAILS. 461 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,862 WHO'S THE REAL WINNER HERE? 462 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,767 SHE WANTED ME THERE TONIGHT. 463 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,669 - WHO KNEW YOU WERE FUNNY? 464 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,471 - ME. - HM. 465 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,707 [cell phone chimes] 466 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,676 BOYS' NIGHT. - INTERESTING. 467 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,113 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING? - WHAT? 468 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,181 - YOU. 469 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,616 WHY'D YOU COME TONIGHT? 470 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,284 - I JUST WANTED TO CHECK OUT THE COMPETITION. 471 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,419 - REALLY? 472 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,820 - AND SIZE UP WHAT KIND OF HELL'S 473 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,988 IN STORE FOR ME IF I'M HART'S NEXT VICTIM. 474 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,791 - WAS IT WORTH THE TRIP? - YES, DEFINITELY. 475 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,793 YOU WERE CLASSIC. 476 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:44,664 [cell phone vibrating] 477 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,133 WANNA GET THAT? 478 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,467 - NO, IT'S OKAY. 479 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,868 UH, FINISH. 480 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,770 I'M CLASSIC? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 481 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,140 - IT MEANS EXACTLY THAT. 482 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:57,043 YOU'RE CLASSIC, LIKE, JANE AUSTEN. 483 00:17:57,043 --> 00:18:00,880 YOU'RE FUNNY, WITH HEART. - SO NOW I'M FUNNY? 484 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,149 - I NEVER SAID YOU WEREN'T. 485 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,183 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUNNY? 486 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,017 [cell phone vibrating] 487 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,153 - HOLD ON A SEC. 488 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:08,255 HEY. 489 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,223 NO, NOTHING'S HAPPENING. 490 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,491 - BUT SOMETHING WAS HAPPENING, 491 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:12,792 AND I COULDN'T EXPLAIN IT. 492 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,195 IT WAS COMING FAST AND SWIFT AND OUT OF THE BLUE. 493 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,230 I WAS FEELING A SWIRLING DEEP IN MY GUT 494 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:20,032 THAT WAS EXPOSING MY RUT. 495 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,302 - ANGELIQUE SAYS HI. 496 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,571 SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS. 497 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,805 - BUT IT WAS WORKING ON ME. 498 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,608 BECAUSE SUDDENLY, I WAS JEALOUS OF ANGELIQUE, 499 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,811 AND LOOKING AT HER BOYFRIEND AS IF HE WAS MY OWN. 500 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:35,782 - GOTTA GO. CALL YOU LATER. 501 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,850 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 502 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,352 SHE'S OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS 503 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,887 AND A LITTLE PEEVED I DIDN'T GO, 504 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,255 SO SHE'S PULLING THE OLD, 505 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,056 "LET ME TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE MISSING" BIT. 506 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,758 - IS IT WORKING, MAKING YOU JEALOUS? 507 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,196 - STRANGELY, NO, WHICH MIGHT BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM. 508 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,363 - IT'S NOT A PROBLEM. 509 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,064 LACK OF JEALOUSY JUST MEANS YOU'RE EVOLVED. 510 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:53,500 THERE'S TRUST BETWEEN YOU. 511 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,668 - OR-- 512 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,437 - OR? 513 00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,706 - I'M OVER IT. 514 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:03,210 [cell phone vibrating] 515 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,856 - HAVE A GOOD TIME? 516 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,225 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? 517 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,960 - WAITING UP FOR YOU, 518 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:25,131 SO I COULD TELL YOU HOW AWESOME YOU WERE TONIGHT. 519 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:28,368 IT WAS SO BRAVE OF YOU TO SHARE THAT STORY. 520 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,304 ALTHOUGH I SORT OF WISH IT WASN'T THAT STORY, 521 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,706 SO YOUR DAD COULD'VE STAYED. 522 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,142 HE WOULD'VE BEEN SO PROUD-- 523 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,977 OF YOUR PERFORMANCE, NOT THE STORY. 524 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679 - I WAS FOLLOWING. - OKAY. 525 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:43,283 - WELL, THANK YOU, BUT NO THANK YOU FOR COMING. 526 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,285 - SO WHO WAS THE GUY? 527 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,520 - WHAT GUY? - THE GUY YOU STAYED WITH. 528 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,921 - COLLIN? 529 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,290 HE'S IN MY CLASS. - OH. 530 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,260 SO WAS EVERYONE FROM YOUR CLASS THERE? 531 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,627 - NO. 532 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,496 - THEN WHY DID HE GO? 533 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,997 - I DON'T KNOW. BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS? 534 00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,833 - FRIENDS, REALLY? 535 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,469 IS THAT ALL? - IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 536 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,271 HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. 537 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:08,140 - AND YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND. 538 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:16,082 * 539 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,018 [knocking] 540 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,988 - JENNA. 541 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,890 [knock at door] 542 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,558 [whispers] JENNA. 543 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,093 - IN THE COURSE OF A RELATIONSHIP, 544 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,395 IF THINGS DIDN'T EVOLVE, 545 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:29,996 THEY THREATEN TO GO EXTINCT. 546 00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:32,865 BECAUSE EVOLUTION WAS ABOUT REVOLUTION. 547 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:36,035 AND MAYBE MY LACK OF JEALOUSY MEANT SOMETHING. 548 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:39,306 MAYBE I WAS REVOLTING. 549 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,810 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 550 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,811 - SHOULD I BE WORRIED? I THINK I SHOULD BE WORRIED. 551 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,379 - HAVING FANTASIES IS TOTES NORMAL 552 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,247 AND THE KEY TO MAINTAINING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. 553 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,283 - WHAT FANTASIES? - MAKE A WISH. 554 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,618 - [exhales] 555 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,320 - THE LUST, THE EYELASH BLOWING-- 556 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,254 THAT PAPER WASN'T ABOUT YOUR FIRST TIME WITH MATTY. 557 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,556 IT WAS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT YOUR FIRST TIME 558 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,757 WITH COLLIN TO BE. 559 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,791 - WHAT IS GOING ON? 560 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,126 - JENNA HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. 561 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,328 - WHAT IS IT?