1 00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,205 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,573 - I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MATTY. 3 00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:07,441 HE'S HOT, AND I'M NOT. WHAT DO YOU SEE IN ME? 4 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,710 BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED. 5 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,345 I WAS THE GIRL WHO TRIED TO KILL HERSELF. 6 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,880 IT WAS WEIRD. 7 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,716 MY SUICIDE STORY, WHICH MADE ME A FREAK IN MY HIGH SCHOOL, 8 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,784 MADE ME A HERO IN THEIRS. 9 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,421 [Leah Lou & The 2 Left Shoes' Come Over] 10 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,955 - * I'M A MESS AT BEST * 11 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,425 - ONCE AGAIN, HOMECOMING PINNING WAS IN PROCESS. 12 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,794 - YES! YES! [squeals] 13 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,629 - IT WAS AN ANCIENT PALOS HILLS TRADITION 14 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,299 THAT WAS OTHERWISE KNOWN AS BLOODY THURSDAY 15 00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:33,134 BECAUSE, WHILE IT WAS AN HONOR TO GET STUCK, 16 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,768 NO ONE KNEW THEIR WAY AROUND A PIN. 17 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,803 - [gasps] 18 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,871 - * YOU 19 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,939 * COME OVER 20 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,208 - IS IT WEIRD THAT I'M WORRIED 21 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,309 I MIGHT NOT GET ONE? 22 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:43,777 - GIRLFRIEND, LOOSEN UP YOUR POODLE SKIRT. 23 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,646 MATTY IS NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU LACKING. 24 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,780 - AS OUTDATED AS THE TRADITION WAS, 25 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,782 THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT BEING OUTED 26 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,851 BY YOUR DATE THAT WAS... 27 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,954 - IS JENNA HAMILTON HERE? - SWEET. 28 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,056 BUT IN MY EXCITEMENT TO BE A HAVE, 29 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,892 I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE GIRLS WHO WERE STILL HAVE-NOTS, 30 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,462 LIKE KIKI REYNOLDS AND MIA BRADY 31 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,731 AND KRISTY PATTON. 32 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,467 I KNEW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE BARE-CHESTED. 33 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:10,138 - JENNA HAMILTON, WILL YOU BE... 34 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,139 - [laughs] MATTY'S GIRL? 35 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,241 YES, I WILL. 36 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,808 - I'M NOT SO SOLD ON THE SAFETY OF THIS PIN. 37 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,444 - I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO STICK IT. 38 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:17,478 - OR I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO STICK IT. 39 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:21,815 LATER. 40 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,251 BYE. 41 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,718 - MAYBE MY PIN DIDN'T NEED TO BE A TICKET 42 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:25,719 FOR THE GUILT TRAIN. 43 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,887 MAYBE IT COULD JUST REMIND ME 44 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,789 THAT I WAS LUCKY I HAD A BOYFRIEND. 45 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,591 BESIDES, IT WASN'T LIKE I WAS GONNA RUB IT 46 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,659 IN ANYONE'S FACE. 47 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,262 [all gasp] OH. 48 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,297 SORRY. 49 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,731 OR MAYBE I WAS. 50 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,367 [keyboard clicking] 51 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,569 [boom] 52 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,171 - ABOUT TIME WE ALL GET TO CLICK "LIKE" 53 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,272 ON THIS BIZARRO RITUAL. 54 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,174 ALTHOUGH I FORGOT TO WEAR A [bleep] SHIRT. 55 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,508 - I DIDN'T. 56 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,977 AS EXPECTED, MY BEARD WAS A PRO AT THE PIN STICK. 57 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,979 A LITTLE BLOOD COULD'VE GONE A LONG WAY TO JAZZ MINE UP. 58 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,314 - AT LEAST YOU GOT A PIN. 59 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,748 REMEMBER WHAT IT FELT LIKE LAST YEAR? 60 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,850 - OR THE YEAR BEFORE? - THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. 61 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,619 DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE ANY SURVIVOR'S GUILT? 62 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,855 IT JUST FEELS OBNOXIOUS TO FLAUNT OUR GOOD FORTUNE. 63 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:02,856 MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE THEM OFF. 64 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,193 - OH, POP A CHILLAX-ATIVE, JENNA. 65 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:07,928 THESE PINS ARE NOT GONNA MAKE ANY GIRL'S SPIRAL GO VIRAL. 66 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,564 - WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL THIS, ANYWAY? 67 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,899 WE'RE JUST GONNA SPEND HOURS GETTING READY, 68 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,801 ONLY TO SWEAT THROUGH OUR DRESSES, 69 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,935 SITTING ON OUR BOYFRIEND'S LAP. 70 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,870 - SHE IS A TRUTH-TALKER. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 71 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:21,375 - MATTY. HE DOESN'T EVEN DANCE. 72 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,877 - BIG UPS ON THE LOVE MARKS, LADIES. 73 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,247 WAY TO BE DATABLE. 74 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:30,918 MISS PATTON, CAN YOU FOLLOW ME? 75 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,920 - KRISTY PATTON, PRIME EXAMPLE. 76 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,087 WE WERE B.F.F.s IN THE FOURTH GRADE, 77 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,223 AND YES, I STOPPED BEING FRIENDS WITH HER 78 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,524 WHEN SHE STARTED EATING CHALK, 79 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,025 BUT I COULD JUST AS EASILY BE HER, 80 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,927 HAVING A NO-DATE MELTDOWN TODAY. 81 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,495 - UGH, MING, I CAN'T HANDLE JENNA 82 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,830 WHEN SHE'S DOWN WITH A FROWN. 83 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,533 HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BACKUP? 84 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:48,769 - UH... 85 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,538 - I'M READY TO CALL IN MY FAVOR. 86 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:51,905 - FAVOR? - DON'T YOU REMEMBER 87 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,807 WHEN I GOT YOU THE SANCTUARY TAPE LAST YEAR, 88 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,310 AND YOU SAID IF THERE WAS EVER ANYTHING IN THE WORLD 89 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,545 I NEEDED, YOU'D DO IT? 90 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,079 - THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. 91 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,548 - SINCE YOU'RE ON THE HOMECOMING COMMITTEE 92 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:01,715 FOR THE EAST MEETS WEST CLUB-- 93 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,351 - ARE YOU CONFUSING ME WITH ANOTHER ASIAN? 94 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,985 - YOU REPLACED THE FORMER REP, 95 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,455 THE ONE WHO MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED. 96 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,323 I THINK HIS NAME WAS FRED WU. 97 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,259 - FRED WHO? - I DIDN'T KNOW HIM EITHER. 98 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,260 THE COMMITTEE'S BEEN 99 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,327 IN A DANCE THEME DEADLOCK FOR WEEKS. 100 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,162 THE EMERGENCY VOTE IS THIS AFTERNOON. 101 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,565 IT'S DOWN TO GREAT BALL OF CHINA AND TROPIC LIKE IT'S HOT. 102 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:22,270 - OH, SO YOU WANT ME TO VOTE CHINA? 103 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,037 - YOU SHOULDN'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. 104 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,874 YOU AREN'T VERY GOOD AT IT. 105 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,410 I NEED YOU TO MAKE GREAT BALL LOSE. 106 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,379 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 107 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:32,713 - ALL YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND 108 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,982 IS THAT THERE'S NOTHING TO UNDERSTAND. 109 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,584 - SO DO I EVEN HAVE A CHOICE? 110 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,852 both: [giggling] 111 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,054 - DON'T BE SILLY. OF COURSE YOU DO. 112 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,592 - OH. - [giggles] 113 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,059 [speaking foreign language] 114 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,429 - YOU WANT TO DOUBLE-CROSS A DOUBLE-CROSSER? 115 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,163 - I'M WEIGHING MY OPTIONS. 116 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,165 - OH, WELL, DROP YOUR OPTIONS BACK ON THE SCALE 117 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,801 BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY THIS IS GONNA END 118 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,035 IS WITH YOU ON A SLOW BOAT TO CHINA. 119 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,304 - THIS MIGHT BE MY CHANCE TO GET BACK AT HER 120 00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,372 FOR ALL THE [bleep] SHE'S DONE TO ME. 121 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,441 JENNA! THOUGHTS? 122 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,043 - HAMILTON, REIN IN THE OBSESSING STRESSING. 123 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,312 KRISTY PATTON IS FINE. 124 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,414 MAYBE MATTY USED TOXIC PAINT ON HER PIN. 125 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,615 HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP? 126 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,116 - TWO. AND A THUMB. 127 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:12,085 - HEY. 128 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,086 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE PIN. 129 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,221 - WHY WOULDN'T I? 130 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,756 - I DON'T KNOW. IT'S KIND OF OBNOXIOUS. 131 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,525 BUT, TO MY CREDIT, NOT AS OBNOXIOUS 132 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:18,592 AS HILLARY MATTHEWS'. 133 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,593 [cow bells jingling] 134 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,061 - OBNOXIOUS. 135 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,430 THAT WAS MY WORD. 136 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,498 BUT I HADN'T SHARED IT WITH MATTY, WHICH MEANT... 137 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,500 T, NEED A NAPKIN? - I GOT ONE. 138 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,568 - WILL YOU WALK WITH ME TO GET ONE? 139 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,136 - THERE'S A WHOLE STACK RIGHT HERE. 140 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,237 - THOSE AREN'T SUBSTANTIAL. 141 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:32,740 I NEED A SUBSTANTIAL NAPKIN 142 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:37,345 AND YOUR HELP IN CARRYING IT. 143 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,979 - WHAT'S WITH THE TWITCH-SITCH? 144 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,581 "NAPKIN" ISN'T ANY OF THE CODES I KNOW. 145 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,616 - WHAT ABOUT GIRL CODE? DO YOU KNOW THAT ONE? 146 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,652 WHY DID YOU TELL MATTY WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE PIN? 147 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,253 - I DIDN'T TELL MATTY. 148 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,956 I JUST MAYBE TOLD JAKE. BUT JAKE AND I-- 149 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,358 - TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING. I'VE HEARD. 150 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:53,160 BUT YOUR SHARING IS GETTING BACK TO MY RELATIONSHIP. 151 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,763 PLEASE STOP TALKING TO JAKE ABOUT MATTY AND ME. 152 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:56,930 - OKAY. FINE. 153 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,165 EVEN IF JAKE WANTS TO TALK 154 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,033 ABOUT YOU OR MATTY, I WON'T. - SOUNDS GOOD. 155 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,435 - LIKE, EVEN IF I FIND OUT MATTY WANTS TO BUY YOU 156 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,871 A STUFFED ANIMAL FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, 157 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:06,707 I'LL JUST LET IT HAPPEN. 158 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,510 - UH, I HAVE TO GO DO A-A THING. 159 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,944 - * HE SAYS HE'S READY * 160 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,279 * THEN HE MAKES ME WAIT 161 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,681 - IF KRISTY WAS ABOUT TO GET TO SECOND BASE 162 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,683 WITH A PIN, THEN I'D BE ABLE 163 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,719 TO TUCK MY GUILT TO SLEEP. 164 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:21,054 BUT THE ACTION WAS ALL IN MY HEAD. 165 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,222 KRISTY WASN'T GETTING PINNED, 166 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:25,626 WHICH WAS MAKING HER TOO DEPRESSED TO EAT... 167 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:28,629 - * WELL, THERE'S NO PLACE I'D RATHER BE * 168 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,765 - AND CAUSING HER TO OLD-SCHOOL BLOG OUT HER FEELINGS... 169 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,067 - * THAN HERE WITH YOU IN FRONT OF ME * 170 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,838 - AND SHARE HER SOB STORY WITH VAL. 171 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,609 UNFORTUNATELY, MY GUILT TRIP WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE. 172 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,911 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KRISTY. 173 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,580 - OH, IT IS SO SWEET OF YOU TO TAKE AN INTEREST 174 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,682 IN THE BOTTOM FEEDERS OF THE SOCIAL AQUARIUM, 175 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,150 BUT I CANNOT DISCUSS OTHER STUDENTS' PROBLEMS. 176 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,620 - I'M JUST REALLY WORRIED ABOUT HER. 177 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,888 - MM, WELL, 178 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,891 MAYBE WE CAN DISCUSS... 179 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,528 OUR MUTUAL FRIEND... 180 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,663 STAPLER. 181 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,032 STAPLER IS IN A DARK PLACE, J. 182 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,035 HE IS JUST CAREENING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE. 183 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,704 AND IF YOU THINK LIFE TOPSIDE IS TOUGH, 184 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,872 IT IS WORSE DOWN BELOW. 185 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,842 YOU KNOW, STAPLER REMINDS ME A LOT 186 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:17,110 OF WHO YOU COULD'VE BEEN HAD OUR PATHS NEVER CROSSED. 187 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,579 - ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE NEED TO START 188 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,713 A KRISTY WATCH? 189 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,014 - OH, I'M WATCHING HER VERY CLOSELY, 190 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,750 AND I GAVE HER MY BEST ADVICE. 191 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,851 - WHICH WAS? 192 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,553 - AVOID THE DANCE. 193 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,887 [timer dings] 194 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:27,921 UGH, I HATE TO KICK YOU OUT, 195 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,657 BUT PIN DAY IS MY BUSIEST DAY 196 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,658 OF THE YEAR, 197 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:31,959 JUST A BIG OL' TRAIL OF TEARS 198 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,694 TO AND FROM MY OFFICE. 199 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,295 - VAL'S ADVICE TO AVOID THE DANCE 200 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,765 WASN'T REVOLUTIONARY, 201 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,900 CONSIDERING KRISTY DIDN'T HAVE A DATE. 202 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,369 BUT SHE HAD A POINT, AND I SUDDENLY HAD A PLAN. 203 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,771 I CAN'T WEAR THE PIN. 204 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,673 IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE THAT YOU MADE IT FOR ME. 205 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,308 I MEAN, I REALLY AM IMPRESSED WITH YOUR CRAFTSMANSHIP. 206 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,777 PIPE CLEANERS ARE TRICKY. 207 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,879 BUT I CAN'T SUPPORT A TRADITION 208 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,482 THAT MAKES OTHER GIRLS FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES. 209 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,984 BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYONE SHOULD HAVE TO FEEL LESS THAN. 210 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,587 - * EVERY NOW AND THEN 211 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:00,754 * I WOULD TRY TO START AGAIN 212 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,523 - OKAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR IT. 213 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,824 - * JUST ENOUGH TO PULL YOU 214 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,826 - BUT WILL YOU STILL KEEP IT? 215 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,995 - EVEN WITH THE PIN OFF MY SHIRT, 216 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,530 MY CHEST WAS STILL HEAVY. 217 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,331 MAYBE IF I REALLY WANTED TO STAND UP 218 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,867 TO THIS TRADITION, I NEEDED TO SIT IT OUT. 219 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,335 IT'S NOT JUST THE PIN. IT'S THE DANCE. 220 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,271 I CAN'T GO. I'M SORRY. 221 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,410 - SILENCIO, POR FAVOR. 222 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,312 I HAVE JUST TALLIED THE THIRD ROUND 223 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,514 OF SILENT BALLOTS. 224 00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,516 - THIS ALL COULD'VE BEEN DONE WEEKS AGO 225 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,784 IF I STILL HAD UNIVERSAL POWER. 226 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,252 - ON THAT NOTE, THE BALLOTS SAY 227 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,522 THAT CHEERLEADERS SHOULD RUN CONCESSIONS THIS YEAR. 228 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:35,856 I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GONNA ROCK 229 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,290 THE APRON/HAIR NET COMBO. 230 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,759 - WATCH IT WITH THE 'TUDE, TWIGGY, 231 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,594 OR I WILL BREAK YOU IN HALF. 232 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,429 - WITH YOUR GIANT MAN HANDS? 233 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,297 [all gasp] 234 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,801 WE HAVE A TIE BETWEEN... 235 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,437 TROPIC LIKE IT'S HOT AND... 236 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,540 GREAT BALL OF CHINA. 237 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:55,709 REPS FROM EACH CLUB, PREPARE YOUR FINAL PITCHES. 238 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,915 - HEY! 239 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,984 SO. 240 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,187 DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A MANIPULATIVE BITCH? 241 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,623 RIGHT. OKAY. 242 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,392 UM, AS A... 243 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,227 MANIPULATIVE BITCH, 244 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,328 IF YOU ASK SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING, 245 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,597 DO YOU WANT THEM TO DO IT? 246 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,699 OR DO YOU ASK THEM THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU WANT, 247 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,568 KNOWING THEY KNOW YOU'RE A BITCH 248 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:21,735 AND MIGHT NOT DO IT? 249 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,671 - IF I TELL SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING, 250 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,005 I WANT IT DONE, 251 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,440 LIKE I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR DUMB-ASS QUESTIONS 252 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,910 AND YOUR ANDROGYNOUS WARDROBE 253 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,980 AND GO AWAY. 254 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:36,984 - OHH. SO BECCA DOES WANT GREAT BALL TO LOSE. 255 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:37,985 WHICH MEANS... 256 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:41,388 1930s SHANGHAI. 257 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,957 OPIUM SMOKE FILLS THE AIR. 258 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:48,629 PAPER LANTERNS DANCE ACROSS A HARVEST MOON. 259 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,964 AND TINY TRIANGLES 260 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:54,367 OF FOIL-WRAPPED CHICKEN. 261 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,905 [Chinese string music] 262 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,175 [cheers] 263 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:05,278 BECCA CAN SUCK MY BIG FAT-- 264 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,413 - WOODY. 265 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:09,617 WOODY LOVERIDGE WOULD BE PERFECT FOR KRISTY. 266 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:12,085 [soft rock music playing] 267 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,722 - [squeals] LET ME SEE YOUR PIN. AH! 268 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,057 OOH, CRAFTY. 269 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,626 WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING IT? I WANT TO SEE IT ON. 270 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:19,693 - I'M NOT PUTTING IT ON, 271 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,629 AND I'M NOT GOING TO THE DANCE. 272 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,196 - DID YOU BREAK UP? - NO! 273 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,633 - MATTY DOESN'T WANT TO GO. - NO. I DON'T. 274 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,434 I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING 275 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,069 THAT MAKES GIRLS WITHOUT DATES FEEL BAD. 276 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,438 - BUT THAT'S PART OF WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT HAVING A DATE. 277 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,640 - NO, YOU DON'T GET IT. 278 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,141 I DON'T WANT TO SINGLE OUT THE SINGLES. 279 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,308 I'VE BEEN THERE, AND IT SUCKS. 280 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,110 - BUT YOU'RE NOT THERE ANYMORE. - I KNOW. 281 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,646 AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO TAKE A STAND 282 00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:39,947 BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE HURTING. 283 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,314 - DOES MATTY WANT TO GO? 284 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,550 - YES. - SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 285 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,352 YOU'RE HURTING SOMEONE YOU LOVE 286 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,487 TO AVOID HURTING PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW, 287 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,957 WHO, BY THE WAY, WILL BE SITTING AT HOME 288 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,459 AND WILL NEVER KNOW YOU WENT TO THE DANCE ANYWAY. 289 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,460 WHO WINS HERE? 290 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,663 - ME, BECAUSE I'M TAKING A STAND. 291 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,464 - WELL, IT'S A DUMB STAND. - WELL, YOU'RE A DUMB MOM. 292 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,900 - AND YOU ARE A CRAZY TEENAGER, 293 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,234 AND A SELFISH ONE AT THAT, 294 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,704 BECAUSE PROTESTING THE DANCE DOESN'T HELP ANYONE, 295 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,838 AND IT HURTS MATTY. 296 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:08,608 IT IS HIS NIGHT TOO. 297 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,277 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - CALLING MATTY. 298 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,645 YOU'RE GOING. 299 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:12,646 TALK. 300 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,782 [line rings] 301 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,250 - HEY. - HEY. 302 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,020 SORRY YOU HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO THE FREAK SHOW EARLIER. 303 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,790 DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE DANCE? 304 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,192 - DO YOU WANT TO GO? - IF YOU WANT TO GO. 305 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,760 - I THINK IT MIGHT BE FUN, BUT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU GO. 306 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,295 - I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU NOT GO. 307 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:31,932 - THEN LET'S GO. - GREAT, CAN'T WAIT. 308 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,937 - HMM. 309 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,439 HOMECOMING'S BACK ON. 310 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,708 BUT I AM CONFUSED. 311 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:43,310 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO. NOW SHE WANTS TO GO. 312 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,712 DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP? 313 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:45,713 - I KNOW NOTHING. 314 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,547 - MM, YOU KNOW SOMETHING. 315 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:48,682 - NO, I DON'T. - WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 316 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:52,119 - NOTHING. 317 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,854 NO. 318 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,455 guys: * DO-DO DO-DO - NO! NO! 319 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,190 NO NO NO! STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP! 320 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,359 JENNA'S UPSET MATTY DOESN'T DANCE! 321 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,394 I AM SO DEAD. 322 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,396 - SO IT WAS ABOUT ME. 323 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,597 - YOU SHOULD GO. 324 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,867 - UH! YOU ARE JUST GONNA TICKLE AND TOSS ME? 325 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:11,371 - I'M SORRY. I GOTTA CALL BRO CODE. 326 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,173 OKAY. 327 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,507 I'M GONNA BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU. 328 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,743 YOU GOTTA BREAK IT DOWN. 329 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:16,910 - I CAN'T. 330 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,011 - WELL, YOU HAVE TO. 331 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,579 - I REALLY CANNOT DANCE. 332 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,081 I'M--I'M BAD. 333 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,884 - AND THAT... IS WHY YOU HAVE ME. 334 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,418 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 335 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,519 WE'RE NOT FOOTLOOSING. 336 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,756 - HA, LIKE YOU'RE READY FOR A WAREHOUSE. 337 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:29,923 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 338 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,225 - NEVER MIND. 339 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,362 HELP ME MOVE THIS. 340 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,365 [upbeat dance music] 341 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,433 * 342 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,936 - * YOU NEVER SAW IT GOOD 343 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,772 - YOU'RE GONNA GRAPEVINE, AND GRAPEVINE, 344 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:47,440 AND SPRINKLER, SPRINKLER, SPRINKLER, 345 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,642 TWIST, TWIST, TWIST, OH, YEAH! 346 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,045 LET ME SLOW IT DOWN FOR YOU, OKAY? 347 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,280 GRAPEVINE. 348 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,948 GRAPEVINE. 349 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,050 SPRINKLER. SPRINKLER. 350 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,151 - THESE ARE THE BASICS? - YEAH. 351 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,252 I'M NOT EVEN GIVING YOU AN EIGHT-COUNT. 352 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,453 I'M JUST FREESTYLING. 353 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,521 - THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS. 354 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:02,555 - OKAY, OKAY, 355 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,224 MAYBE I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. 356 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,492 LET ME LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET, 357 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:06,559 PASSED DOWN THROUGH GENERATIONS 358 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,028 OF ROSATI MEN: 359 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,697 YOU JUST...GOTTA...GIVE... 360 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,333 GOOD...FACE. 361 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,802 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW? 362 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,636 YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT MY FACE. 363 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,806 - YEAH. - HA, HA, RIGHT? 364 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,407 - YEAH! - YEAH. 365 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,810 - YEAH. - HEY. 366 00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,211 ALL RIGHT. 367 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,814 - HA! - OH, YEAH. 368 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,515 WE'RE GONNA HAVE YOU MAKING DANCE MAGIC IN NO TIME, MAN. 369 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,317 - [exhales] 370 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,318 - OH, YEAH! 371 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,020 [energetic dance music] 372 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:37,858 * 373 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,226 - WHAT TIME IS IT? 374 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,928 I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE HERE BY NOW. 375 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,730 WHY DID THEY WANT TO MEET US? - MATTY WOULDN'T SAY. 376 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,066 * 377 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,367 DID KRISTY PATTON GET A DATE? 378 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,236 - UNTIL YESTERDAY, I HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF HER, 379 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,205 SO MY INTEL ON HER DATING LIFE ISNADABOOM. 380 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,841 - IF KRISTY WASN'T A SAD SINGLE, 381 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,209 I COULD FLIP OFF MY GUILT SWITCH AND FINALLY-- 382 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,045 - RELAX, DUDE. 383 00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,612 HEY, IT'LL BE OVER BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. 384 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,882 [muffled dance music] 385 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,117 LET'S SEE THOSE FACES. 386 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,652 COME ON. GIVE IT TO ME. 387 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,055 - UH. OOH, OOH, OOH. 388 00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:10,958 HA. 389 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,894 - YOU'RE AS GOOD AS IT GETS. 390 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,129 [upbeat dance music] 391 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,465 [indistinct chatter] 392 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,867 - MING. 393 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,869 HONGHUI. 394 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,536 - IS THAT YOUR REAL NAME? 395 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:27,207 WHAT'S UP WITH THE WITHHOLDING? 396 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,376 - SO, GREAT BALL OF CHINA WON. 397 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,178 - YEAH, CRAZY, RIGHT? 398 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,712 I TALKED ABOUT FEET BINDING 399 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:35,315 AND HOW HARD IT IS TO EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS, 400 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:40,087 AND PEOPLE STILL THOUGHT IT SOUNDED LIKE A PARTY. 401 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,089 - I KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN THE MEETING. 402 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,556 BUT DON'T WORRY. 403 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,892 I WANTED GREAT BALL TO WIN. 404 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,059 I GOT ALL THIS ASIAN CRAP 405 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,394 FOR FIVE CENTS ON THE DOLLAR. 406 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,795 NOW WE HAVE THE REST OF THE DANCE BUDGET 407 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,763 TO PAY FOR OUR WINTER SKI TRIP. 408 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:51,932 - YOU GET TO KEEP THE EXTRA MONEY? 409 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,701 - WE HAVE A VERY GOOD ACCOUNTANT. 410 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,136 ENJOY THE DANCE. 411 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,637 [gasps] AND TRY THE DIM SUM. 412 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,908 THE SOY SAUCE HAS AN EXTRA KICK. 413 00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:02,142 [speaking foreign language] 414 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,077 [giggles] 415 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,950 - YOUR ADVICE SUCKED. - WHAT ADVICE? 416 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,419 - AT THE HOMECOMING HEARING. YOU SCREWED ME. 417 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,922 - I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO SCREW YOU. 418 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,823 - WHERE DID I GO WRONG? 419 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,926 - [gasps] SORRY, SLIM SADIE. 420 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,694 COULD BARELY EVEN SEE YOU THERE. 421 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,163 [chuckles] KIDDING! 422 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,764 WHO COULDN'T SEE YOU? 423 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,133 - BUMP ME AGAIN, AND I WILL SHOVE 424 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,068 ONE OF THESE STUPID ASIAN DUMPLINGS 425 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,202 SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, 426 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:33,340 YOU'LL START SPEAKING BROKEN ENGLISH. 427 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,442 - [giggling] 428 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,945 - [exhales] 429 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,981 - I ASKED A WHITE BITCH FOR ASIAN BITCH ADVICE. 430 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,016 [bleep] ME. 431 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,051 - HEY. - HEY. 432 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,986 - WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO LONG? 433 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,721 - JAKE HAD BAD TACOS. - MATTY HAD BAD TACOS. 434 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,157 - WHATEVER. 435 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,525 YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BROMO-EROTIC SECRETS TO YOURSELF. 436 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,527 BUT, JAKE, CAN WE GO HIP-LOCK ALREADY? 437 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:58,465 - OOH. TALK DIRTY TO ME, BABY. 438 00:14:58,465 --> 00:14:59,732 - WHILE THEY WENT TO GRIND, 439 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,435 I WOULD BE LAP-LOCKED IN THREE, TWO-- 440 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,071 - ONE SEC, JAKE. 441 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,974 [romantic hip-hop music] 442 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,309 - UGH, I WISH OUR BOYFRIENDS WOULD BREAK UP. 443 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,378 - I CAN'T DANCE TO THIS SONG. IT'S TOO SLOW. 444 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,146 I WON'T BE ABLE TO DISTRACT PEOPLE WITH MY FACE. 445 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,581 - OKAY. 446 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,416 I HEARD THERE'S A SECRET MENU AT THE DIM SUM CART 447 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,051 WHERE IF YOU ASK FOR "PLUM SURPRISE", 448 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,187 YOU GET SOY SAUCE PACKETS FULL OF LIQUOR. 449 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,721 WHY DON'T WE GET A COUPLE OF THOSE, CALM YOU DOWN? 450 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:22,722 - YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. 451 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,658 - HEY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 452 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,997 - THE DOUBLE-CROSSER DOUBLE-CROSSED ME, 453 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,631 BUT I WILL TAKE HER DOWN. 454 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,133 - HATE TO BLOW OUT YOUR HATE-SCHEME PIPE DREAM, 455 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,168 BUT BECCA'S ALWAYS THREE STEPS AHEAD. 456 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,404 ACTUALLY, SHE HAS TINY FEET. MAKE THAT FIVE. 457 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:38,405 - T'S RIGHT. 458 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,439 SHE PROBABLY ALREADY KNOWS 459 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,573 YOU'RE TRYING TO RETALIATE. 460 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,609 - NO, SHE THINKS I'M SCARED AGAIN. 461 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,212 THERE'S NO WAY SHE KNOWS I'M LONG-HAULING MY REVENGE. 462 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,147 [cell phone blips] 463 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,586 - HOLY [bleep]. 464 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,288 - [chuckles weakly] HENRY. 465 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,258 WE GOTTA GO. [laughs] 466 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:02,262 DO YOUR PARENTS HAVE A FALLOUT SHELTER? 467 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,830 - YOU WOULD NEVER COME TO THE DANCE ALONE, WOULD YOU? 468 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,065 - LET'S REWIND TO AN HOUR AGO, 469 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,266 WHEN WE DROVE OURSELVES HERE. 470 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,900 - BUT WE HAD DATES, AND WHEN WE DIDN'T, 471 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,402 WE WERE NO-SHOWS. 472 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,870 - LOOP ME IN ON YOUR SPIRAL. 473 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,872 - I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SEEN KRISTY WITH A GUY ALL NIGHT. 474 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,875 - AGAIN WITH THE PATTON PATROL? 475 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:19,279 - I'M GONNA GO DO A DRIVE-BY. 476 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,214 - THERE IS NO LIQUOR ON THIS CART. 477 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,482 - WHO WOULD MAKE UP PLUM SURPRISE? 478 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,518 [upbeat dance music] - NEW SONG. 479 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,719 I THINK I CAN DANCE TO IT. 480 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,388 - HA. YOU'RE GONNA DANCE. - LOOK. 481 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,889 JENNA HAS THE SAME IDEA. 482 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:32,092 JUST REMEMBER, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ALONE. 483 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,460 YOU CAN DO THIS. 484 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:38,298 - * I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WAITING FOR * 485 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,966 * I WANNA SEE YOU PLAY 486 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,634 * COME ON AND MAKE MY DAY 487 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,836 - I [bleep] LOVE ASIANS. 488 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,238 - I WAS RIGHT. 489 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,706 KRISTY DIDN'T HAVE A DATE. 490 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,075 SHE WASN'T HAVING FUN. 491 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,109 HER NIGHT WAS... 492 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,677 ABOUT TO GET AWESOME. 493 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,280 BRYAN JOHNSON WAS GONNA ASK HER TO DANCE. 494 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,314 THEY'D BUMP, GRIND, FALL IN LOVE, 495 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,982 AND LIVE HAPPILY... 496 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,185 NEVER AFTER. 497 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,453 I WAS STILL LIVING IN THE HOUSE THAT GUILT BUILT, 498 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:03,156 AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO TEAR IT DOWN. 499 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,925 * 500 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,094 - OH. 501 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,131 - * MIC CHECK, ONE TWO, ONE TWO * 502 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,233 - HEY, I'LL FIND HER. KEEP MOVING. 503 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,867 EYES ON THE PRIZE, OUT OF YOUR HEAD. 504 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,136 - EYES ON THE PRIZE. 505 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,105 - * I GOTTA GET THIS PARTY STARTED * 506 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,239 * I GOTTA GET THIS PARTY CRACKIN' * 507 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,940 * I GOTTA BRING THAT BACK TO THE CLUB * 508 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,276 * ALL RIGHT, NOW WATCH ME MAKE IT HAPPEN * 509 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,644 - WHERE'S JENNA? I NEED YOU TO GET HER. 510 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,546 - WHY? - I CAN'T SAY. BRO CODE. 511 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,215 - BRO CODE CAN SUCK IT. 512 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,949 I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON. 513 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,618 - OKAY, FINE. 514 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,621 MATTY'S GONNA DANCE. 515 00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:38,825 [muffled dance music] 516 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:39,892 - I JUST WANT TO SAY 517 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,694 THESE DANCES ARE LAME. 518 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,830 - OKAY. - I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE. 519 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,133 AND I KNOW THAT THESE DUMB SCHOOL TRADITIONS 520 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,801 CAN MAKE IT REALLY EASY FOR YOU TO FEEL UNLOVABLE. 521 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:51,871 NOT THAT YOU ARE. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 522 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,641 BUT I KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING INTO THE BATHROOM 523 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:55,708 TO CRY RIGHT NOW. 524 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,145 AND I WANT TO SAY, 525 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,212 IT GETS BETTER, KRISTY. 526 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,813 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 527 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,315 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND. 528 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,583 I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TOO DEPRESSED TO EAT. 529 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,285 I SAW YOU THROW AWAY YOUR LUNCH. 530 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,454 - YOU SAW THAT? 531 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:11,224 THAT WASN'T MY LUNCH. THAT WAS A DROP. 532 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,627 [eerie music] 533 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,629 - IT-- 534 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,265 BUT YOU WERE JOURNALING ABOUT YOUR HEARTACHE ON THE QUAD. 535 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,732 - I DON'T HAVE A JOURNAL. 536 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,169 [eerie music] 537 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,637 - OKAY, WHAT ABOUT IN VAL'S OFFICE? 538 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,839 YOUR EYES WERE BLOODSHOT. 539 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:27,940 - I WAS HIGH-BALLS, JENNA. 540 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,511 [eerie music] 541 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,646 LISTEN, I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN, 542 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,182 BUT I'M NOT HERE FOR THE MEMORIES. 543 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,783 I CAME TO MAKE A TRANSACTION, 544 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,819 AND HONESTLY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD REALLY USE SOMETHING 545 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,421 TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF. 546 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,689 HERE. 547 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:43,823 THE FIRST ONE'S FREE. 548 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,359 - PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM. 549 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,760 - YOU'RE A COP, DYLAN? 550 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,429 - IT'S LEONARD, AND I'M D.E.A. 551 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,598 YOU'RE GOING DOWN. 552 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,699 YOU'RE FREE TO BOOGIE. 553 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,434 - SUDDENLY, I WAS HIGH-- 554 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,468 WITHOUT THE DRUGS. 555 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,737 KRISTY WASN'T SAD OR LONELY 556 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,871 OR A HAVE-NOT, 557 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,473 BECAUSE SHE WAS ABOUT TO HAVE-- 558 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,541 A RECORD. 559 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,042 - JENNA, COME. NOW. 560 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,245 MATTY'S GONNA DANCE. 561 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,582 - * BEFORE WE TOUCH 562 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:10,817 - MORE FACES! 563 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:11,951 - * COME A LITTLE CLOSER 564 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:15,222 - WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! 565 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,423 both: OH, MY GOD. 566 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,924 - MATTY WAS DANCING, 567 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,626 AND HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE. 568 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,828 APPARENTLY, I DIDN'T HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR ANYONE 569 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,931 EXCEPT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WASN'T ON THE DANCE FLOOR. 570 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,399 - I TOLD MATTY YOU WERE UPSET HE DOESN'T DANCE, 571 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,835 BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA BE SUCH A SPAZ-HOLE. 572 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,303 I'M SORRY I BROKE GIRL CODE. 573 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,339 - I'M NOT. 574 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:36,108 - * I WON'T TREAT YOU LIKE YOU'RE OH SO TYPICAL * 575 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:39,346 * 576 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,281 * I WON'T TREAT YOU LIKE YOU'RE OH SO TYPICAL * 577 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,449 - I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 578 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,883 - COME ON, I DIDN'T GET TO SEE ALL OF IT 579 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,452 'CAUSE I COULDN'T GET PAST YOUR POSSE. 580 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,287 - WHAT CAN I SAY? THE LADIES LOVE MY MOVES. 581 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,022 - SO LET'S SEE SOME. 582 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,392 - OKAY. [clears throat] 583 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,126 HIT IT. 584 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,628 - *JUST ALL PHYSICAL * 585 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:59,799 * I'M THE TYPE WHO WON'T GET OH SO CRITICAL * 586 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:03,703 * SO LET'S MAKE THINGS PHYSICAL * 587 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,738 - COME ON, J-TOWN, DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING AGAIN! 588 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,374 - [laughing] 589 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,709 - * I WANT YOU CLOSE, I WANT YOU * 590 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,780 * I WON'T TREAT YOU LIKE YOU'RE TYPICAL * 591 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,448 * I WANT YOU CLOSE 592 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,385 * I WANT YOU 593 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,489 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... I HAVE TO GO READ 594 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:23,823 AT THE STUPID COFFEE HOUSE TONIGHT. 595 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,392 - SHE'S GOT A PERFORMANCE TONIGHT, 596 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,893 WHICH SHE IS NOW SHUTTING ME OUT OF. 597 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,060 - MY NAME IS JENNA. 598 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,162 THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY. 599 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,163 - I'LL BE IN THE CAR. 600 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,231 - YOU WERE CLASSIC. 601 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,533 - WHY'D YOU COME TONIGHT? 602 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,902 [cell phone vibrates] - HOLD ON A SEC. 603 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,236 - SO WHO IS THE GUY YOU STAYED WITH? 604 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,806 - COLLIN? HE'S IN MY CLASS.