1 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,080 - I COULDN'T SHAKE WHAT WAS KEEPING ME AWAKE. 2 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,647 THAT JAKE SAID HE LOVED ME. 3 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:17,218 I DIDN'T SAY IT BACK, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY. 4 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,488 WHAT I DID KNOW WAS WHY I LOVED ICE CREAM. 5 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,691 IT WAS A DELICIOUS, COMFORTING AND CRUEL REMINDER 6 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,294 OF HOW COLD I MUST HAVE SEEMED WHEN I LEFT JAKE HANGING. 7 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:29,297 BUT I NEVER LEFT MY HOODIES HANGING 8 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,099 BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS I LOVED THEM. 9 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,766 THEY WERE VERSATILE, GOOD FOR ALL SEASONS 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,603 AND COULD HIDE ME FROM THE PROBING, LATE NIGHT QUESTIONS 11 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,171 I DIDN'T WANNA FACE. 12 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,606 SO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I FELT. 13 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,074 I KNEW HOW TO READ A LABEL. 14 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,442 THE LABEL WOULD TELL ME HOW LONG 15 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,544 IT WOULD TAKE FOR MY PROBLEM TO GO AWAY. 16 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,080 SIX WEEKS. THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME IT TOOK JAKE 17 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,116 TO KNOW THAT HE LOVED ME. 18 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,084 MAYBE I DID KNOW. 19 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:52,086 BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT YET. 20 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,754 BECAUSE IT WAS TOO SOON. 21 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,289 AND THAT WAS OKAY. 22 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,158 NOBODY FALLS IN LOVE OVERNIGHT. 23 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,092 - IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT. 24 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,560 - I'M IN LOVE. 25 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,762 - OR MAYBE THEY DO. 26 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:11,639 - I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BEST FRIEND IS IN LOVE AND ENGAGED! 27 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,807 - AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT"? 28 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,577 CONSIDERING THAT ALLY'S LONGEST RELATIONSHIP WAS WITH NICOTINE, 29 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,580 HER SPONTANEOUS ENGAGEMENT SEEMED A BIT SKETCH. 30 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,215 - DETAILS. WE WANT THEM ALL. 31 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,384 - DAN. THAT'S HIS NAME. 32 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,885 - YOU WERE ALWAYS SO GOOD WITH DANS. 33 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,188 - MM-HMM. - WHAT DOES HE DO? 34 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,557 - UGH, SOMETHING BUSINESS-Y. 35 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,726 I'M NOT CLEAR ON EXACTLY WHAT, BUT THE MAN IS FLUSH. 36 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,629 AND THE MAN DRIVES A PORSCHE 37 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,532 WITH A PERSONALIZED LICENSE PLATE THAT SAYS-- 38 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,600 - "DAN THE MAN"? 39 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,435 - YES! GOOD GUESS. 40 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,236 - IT WAS EDUCATED. 41 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,238 IF THE DUDE WANTED TO MARRY ALLY, 42 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,839 HE HAD TO HAVE QUESTIONABLE TASTE. 43 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:46,874 - DON'T JUDGE, LIL' BITCH. 44 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:47,841 BE GRATEFUL THAT YOUR FUTURE 45 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,210 UNCLE IN LAW CAN AFFORD 46 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,411 TO SURGICALLY PACK YOUR CANS 47 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,679 SINCE NATURE'S NOT GOING TO. 48 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,347 - LOVE HIM ALREADY. 49 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,449 - SO, TWO WEEKS AGO, WHILE I WAS VISITING MY FOLKS, 50 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,917 I WAS WORKING DOWN AT THE BEACH CLUB 51 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,719 WHILE I PRETENDED TO LOOK FOR A JOB. 52 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,488 MEANWHILE, DAN WAS PRETENDING TO WORK OUT 53 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,457 WHILE HE MADE IT HIS JOB TO WATCH ME SWEAT. 54 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,726 [both chuckle] 55 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,728 - AND THEN YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM AND HE SAID HE LOVED YOU 56 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,530 AND WHILE YOU WEREN'T SURE HOW YOU FELT AT FIRST, 57 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,299 YOU SOON REALIZED THAT HE WAS THE BEST GUY YOU EVER MET? 58 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,601 - NO. THEN WE WENT TO PARIS 59 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:17,571 AND HE PUT A 4.6 KARAT ROCK ON MY FINGER. BAM! 60 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,307 - HE TOOK YOU TO PARIS? 61 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,442 - AND HE GAVE ME HIS BLACK AMEX. 62 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,411 - SO WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU LOVED HIM? 63 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,513 - I DON'T KNOW. IN THE AIRPORT? 64 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,948 I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THE DETAILS. 65 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,251 CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME? 66 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,685 - JENNA, WE SAW THAT. 67 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,287 - IT WAS A SUPPORTIVE EYE ROLL, 68 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,822 BECAUSE NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET A JOB. 69 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,856 - I KNOW! 70 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,291 - I DON'T KNOW, 71 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,359 I JUST DIDN'T SAY IT BACK. 72 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,793 - SO YOU LEFT JAKE HANGING? 73 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,429 - NO, I KISSED HIM. 74 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,564 - OKAY, THIS IS PROMISING. AND THEN? 75 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,898 - AND THEN I MIGHT HAVE SAID, "AWESOME." 76 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,734 - HOLY PULLED GOALIE. 77 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,736 - EXACTLY, IT WAS PRE-EMOTIONAL EJACULATION. 78 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,572 - NO, SAYING "AWESOME" ON THE HEELS OF AN ILY 79 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,242 IS THE EQUIVALENT OF KNOCKING SOMEONE UP WITH HEARTACHE. 80 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,609 - OR PEEING IN THEIR FACE. 81 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,944 - WHICH YOU WOULDN'T KNOW, TINKLE-BELL. 82 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,246 - THAT'S RIGHT. 83 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:58,946 I HAVE AN EXPLOSIVE BLADDER. 84 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,514 IT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN 85 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,616 SO STEP AWAY OR I MIGHT SPRAY YOU. 86 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,552 OKAY, THINK FAST. 87 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,255 IMAGINE I'M AN UNHINGED, OVER-MEDICATED HAIR STYLIST 88 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,722 AND I'M ABOUT TO MOW DOWN YOUR MANE THAT YOU'VE BEEN GROWING 89 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,258 SINCE THE FOURTH GRADE UNLESS YOU ANSWER 90 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,759 THIS QUESTION HONESTLY. 91 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,793 ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH JAKE? 92 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,462 ONE. TWO. 93 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:15,729 - IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T FEEL SOMETHING. 94 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:16,930 IT'S JUST THAT I'M NOT SURE I FEEL "IT". 95 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,732 - YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE. 96 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,801 - DON'T BE SO TENTATIVE. 97 00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,403 GRAB 'EM! 98 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,671 - I LIKE IT WHEN YOU TAKE CHARGE. 99 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,439 - AND I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DON'T SPEAK. 100 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,308 - OH, YOU'RE SUCH A WOMAN. 101 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:30,578 - PIPE DOWN AND FEEL ME UP. 102 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,945 - I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. 103 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,447 AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU DON'T 104 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:34,748 FEEL WHAT'S HAPPENING BETWEEN US. 105 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,284 - OH, I CAN. 106 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,351 AND IF YOU'D SHUT UP, 107 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:39,853 I MIGHT LET IT OUT TO BREATHE. 108 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,323 - THIS ISN'T JUST SOME SORDID AFFAIR, DOLLFACE. 109 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,625 I WANNA WIN YOUR HEART. 110 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:48,996 - I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE YOUR DOLLFACE. 111 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,731 - WHY NOT? - IT SHOULD BE OBVI, 112 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,401 BUT I GUESS I NEED TO BREAK IT DOWN. 113 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,968 I DON'T DO BAND GEEKS. 114 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,470 AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC. 115 00:03:56,504 --> 00:04:00,774 - AH, BUT I'M THE SCHWARTZMAN. 116 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:01,875 I AM THE BAND. 117 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,646 - THEN THIS IS ALL YOU GET. 118 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,454 - OKAY, SO LET'S SAY I'M NOT IN LOVE, 119 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,655 WHICH I'M NOT SAYING. 120 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,357 WHAT DO I DO? - BREAK UP. 121 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,359 - BREAK UP? WHY? - BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR. 122 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,460 YOU'RE LEADING HIM ON. 123 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,928 - I'M NOT LEADING HIM ON. 124 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,062 I'M TAKING MY TIME. 125 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,397 - MATTY DID THAT WITH ME 126 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,698 AND HE CAME AROUND EVENTUALLY. 127 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,734 - WHEN YOU WERE IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP. 128 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,602 BUT I LOVE BEING JAKE'S GIRLFRIEND. 129 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,037 SEE, LOVE JUST SLIPPED RIGHT OUT. 130 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,739 TOTALLY UNPROVOKED. 131 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,773 THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. 132 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,408 MAYBE I'M COMING AROUND. 133 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,677 - YOU DON'T JUST COME AROUND. YOU KNOW. 134 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,812 LIKE WITH FRED, I COULD TELL THE SECOND 135 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,582 HE PUMPED ME A CUP WITH MORE FOAM THAN BEER. 136 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,584 HE COULD SENSE I WAS A LIGHTWEIGHT. 137 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,686 - I THINK EVERYONE COULD SENSE THAT 138 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,920 WHEN YOU WERE BLOWING CHUNKS BY THE DOOR. 139 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,357 BUT, THAT DOESN'T TAKE ANYTHING AWAY 140 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,758 FROM THE FACT THAT YOU KNOW, MING. 141 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,760 'CAUSE PEOPLE JUST KNOW WHEN THEY KNOW. 142 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,429 - BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU KNOW? 143 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:59,733 - HEY, BEAUTIFUL. - DIE. 144 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:00,801 DAMN IT. 145 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,370 YOU JUST KNOW. 146 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,371 - AND YOU KNOW I'M THE ONE 147 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,872 AND ONLY JAKE ROSATI, 148 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,073 WITH A SPECIAL GUEST. 149 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,108 - MATTY MCKIBBEN. 150 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,678 - AND THESE ARE THE PALACE HILLS MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS. 151 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,613 IT'S BLACK HISTORY MONTH, TITANS, 152 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,882 AND SO TODAY WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL HISTORY LESSON 153 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,050 BROUGHT TO YOU VIA RECORDING FROM OUR VERY OWN, 154 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:20,988 VERY WHITE HISTORY TEACHER, MR. SAMUEL WOLLMAN. 155 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:25,025 - SO LAST NIGHT...ENDING UP AT THE SAME PLACE. 156 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,860 THAT WAS A LITTLE AWKWARD. - YEAH. 157 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,128 BUT NOT AS AWKWARD AS IT WAS 158 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,563 WHEN I TOLD JENNA THAT I LOVED HER. 159 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,098 - WHAT? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HAVE SEX? 160 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,033 - WE HAVEN'T. 161 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,403 BUT THAT'S OFF THE TABLE BECAUSE I FREAKED HER OUT. 162 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,704 YOU KNOW WHAT HER RESPONSE TO ME WAS? 163 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,672 "AWESOME." 164 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:39,473 - YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SAY 165 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,409 "I LOVE YOU" BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX. 166 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,576 - COME ON, MAN, THERE ISN'T AN ORDER. 167 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,878 - DUDE YOU ARE SO JV. [laughs] 168 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,416 RIGHT NOW YOU ARE AT THE "I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU" 169 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,518 OR THE "I LOVE BEING AROUND YOU" PHASE. 170 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,719 YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BLOW 171 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,587 THE "I LOVE YOU" WAD UNTIL AFTER SEX. 172 00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,155 THAT'S THE CARROT YOU DANGLE TO GET IT, BABY. 173 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,425 - I COULD JUST TAKE IT BACK. - YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK. 174 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,692 IT'S OUT THERE. 175 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,160 NOW YOU JUST GOTTA PLAY IT COOL, ALL RIGHT. 176 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,797 - EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE. 177 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:04,832 - AHA. 178 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,434 EVIDENCE OF MY LOVE. 179 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,702 NOTE THE BIG SMILE, WARM EMBRACE. 180 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:13,441 NEED I SAY MORE? 181 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,008 HEY, DO WE LOOK IN LOVE? 182 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,610 THANK YOU. 183 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,445 IF I DIDN'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE, 184 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,546 I'D BE CONVINCED. 185 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,080 - BUT YOU DO KNOW THESE PEOPLE. 186 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,650 AND YOU DON'T NEED TO CONVINCE ME OR ANYONE ELSE. 187 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,018 YOU NEED TO CONVINCE YOURSELF AND MAYBE YOUR NOTEBOOK. 188 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,554 - OF WHAT? 189 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,756 - THAT YOU'RE NOT STILL INTO MATTY. 190 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,459 - NO WAY. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED. 191 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,960 IT WASN'T ENTIRELY TRUE. 192 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,829 MY FEELINGS FOR MATTY WERE PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR. 193 00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:39,066 BUT LIKE JAKE, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET THEM. 194 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,069 WAS RESIDUAL LOVE FOR MATTY CLOUDING MY NEW LOVE FOR JAKE? 195 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,773 - WE KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MATTY, BUT WHEN DID YOU KNOW? 196 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:50,911 - IT WAS...AFTER WE HAD SEX. - OKAY. 197 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,780 YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE, THEN YOU'LL KNOW. 198 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,148 - I WASN'T SURE I WAS READY TO HAVE SEX WITH JAKE. 199 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,184 IT WASN'T A QUESTION I EVER PONDERED WITH MATTY. 200 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,752 I JUST DID IT. 201 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,021 DID I JUST NEED TO DO "IT" AGAIN? 202 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,790 [bell rings] 203 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,033 - [chuckles] 204 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,968 - HEY. 205 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,770 - YO. 206 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,572 - I'VE BEEN THINKING-- - THAT'S FUNNY. 207 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,674 BECAUSE, UH, LAST NIGHT, I WASN'T. 208 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:23,143 I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY. 209 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,778 - WE SHOULD HAVE SEX. - WHAT? 210 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,980 - [over intercom] I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE SEX. 211 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,817 [all laugh] 212 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,018 - OH, UH, THE MIC. 213 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,686 - WAS THAT JUST-- - YEAH. 214 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,027 SO, I HAD MEGAPHONED MY MISSION TO BANG MY BO. 215 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,596 MAYBE NO ONE KNEW THE VOICE OVER THE P.A. WAS ME. 216 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,966 - DUDE, YO I HEARD JENNA HAMILTON ROLLS COMMANDO 217 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,001 SO SHE'S GOOD TO GO AT ALL TIMES. 218 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,671 - APPARENTLY, JENNA HAMILTON CAN'T LIVE 219 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,573 WITHOUT JAKE'S MAN JUICE. 220 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:55,543 - JENNA HAMILTON CAN'T KEEP IT IN HER PANTS. 221 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:58,245 SLUT. 222 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,280 - I WAS OVERREACTING. 223 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,583 THERE WAS NOTHING TO AVOID. 224 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,552 NOTHING BUT-- [both laugh] 225 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,586 MY PILE OF DENIAL. 226 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,288 WHICH I HAD STEPPED IN. AGAIN. 227 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,157 - I'M DOWN TO BONE. 228 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,961 - NICE TRY, DUDE, BUT THE GIRL'S GOT HIGHER STANDARDS. 229 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,797 WHICH I WOULD KNOW FIRSTHAND. 230 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,600 COME ON, IT WAS A JOKE. - NOT FUNNY. 231 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,268 - OKAY, I'LL QUIT. 232 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,871 SO... - SO... 233 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,238 - YOU AND JAKE ARE GONNA DO THE DEED. 234 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:29,176 - I REALIZE I MADE A VERY PUBLIC PRONOUNCEMENT, 235 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,711 BUT I'M NOT READY TO DISCUSS THE DETAILS WITH YOU. 236 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,712 - WHY NOT? 237 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,080 - UM, BECAUSE YOU AND I 238 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,582 WERE JUST SEALING THE DEAL A FEW MONTHS AGO 239 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,749 AND BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD. 240 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,050 - MAYBE TALKING ABOUT IT 241 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,686 WILL HELP US GET OUT OF THE WEIRD ZONE 242 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,287 AND PUT US INTO THE FRIEND ONE. 243 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,055 YOU SHOULD LET ME CASUALLY GIVE JAKE SOME POINTERS 244 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,692 ABOUT THE JENNA DOs AND DON'Ts. 245 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,294 - WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JENNA'S DOs AND DON'Ts? 246 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,062 - YOU KNOW, THE STUFF YOU DO AND DON'T LIKE WHEN DOING IT. 247 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,832 - I DO NOT HAVE DOs AND DON'Ts. 248 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,300 - OH, YES YOU DO. REMEMBER THE PLAYHOUSE? 249 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,735 YOU WERE ON TOP OF ME, AND YOU-- 250 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,870 - DO NOT TELL JAKE TO DO THAT. 251 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,672 - I'M NOT GONNA TELL JAKE ANYTHING. 252 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:02,710 BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS. GO EASY, HE'S NERVOUS. 253 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,679 HE REALLY...LIKES YOU. 254 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,048 - WHILE THE JAKE CASE WAS STILL UNDER INVESTIGATION, 255 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,251 I REALIZED THE MATTY CASE HAD NOT GONE COLD. 256 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,887 IT WAS CLOSED 'CAUSE I FINALLY KNEW SOMETHING. 257 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,188 MATTY AND I WERE FRIENDS. 258 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:19,292 - WHAT'S UP, SUICIDAL SLUT? 259 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:22,195 GET USED TO IT, SEX IS GONNA PAY YOUR WAY THROUGH COLLEGE. 260 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,296 YOU'RE WELCOME. 261 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:27,000 - MMM, DOLLFACE. 262 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,836 - SKEDATZ, I HAVE A CALL TO MAKE. 263 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:32,239 DON'T LOOK AT ME, KEEP MOVING, PULL OUT YOUR PHONE 264 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,775 AND PRETEND YOU'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION. 265 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:39,179 WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONE TIME DEAL. 266 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,682 ONE AND DONE. 267 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,818 IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY, AND I WAS IN A VULNERABLE PLACE. 268 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,688 THIS MORNING WAS...HORMONAL. 269 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,289 DON'T READ INTO IT! 270 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,259 - I'M GONNA FALL APART WITHOUT YOU, DOLLFACE. 271 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,661 YOU CAN LIVE WITH THAT? 272 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,228 I'M GONNA CRY. 273 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,130 I'M SERIOUSLY GONNA CRY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. 274 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:59,399 - FINE, MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL. 275 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,135 BUT CONSIDER IT A PARTING GIFT. 276 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,209 - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AFTER SCHOOL. 277 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,678 - EVERYONE DOES. 278 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,812 - IF IT ISN'T "INFO NYMPHO" 279 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,980 AND "PEED-HER-PANTS PANTS." 280 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:16,650 - I PREFER TINKLE-BELL, THANK YOU! 281 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,851 IT'S FUN TO BE US. 282 00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,352 - [over intercom] JENNA HAMILTON, 283 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,289 PLEASE REPORT TO THE VICE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. 284 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:26,393 - SO, I HEARD THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING YOU WANNA DISCUSS. 285 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,728 - NOPE. NOTHING. 286 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,196 - NOT EVEN... 287 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:32,065 CHUGGA-CHUGGA-CHUGGA -CHOO-CHOO? 288 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,034 - DEFINITELY NOT THAT. - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. 289 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,102 - I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE 290 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,770 THAT MY MOM IMPARTED ON ME. 291 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,438 ALWAYS BE A LADY IN THE STREET, 292 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,408 FREAK IN THE SHEETS, AND QUIET OVER THE P.A. SYSTEM. 293 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,110 - YOUR MOM SAID THAT? 294 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,778 - ACTUALLY, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN USHER. 295 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,214 AND THE P.A. TIDBIT, THAT'S JUST MY OWN RULE OF THUMB. 296 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,082 I FIND THAT SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO USE 297 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:53,253 SUGGESTIVE GESTURES IN PUBLIC RATHER THAN OVERT EXPRESSIONS 298 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,156 LIKE, "DO ME, BIG BOY." - I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 299 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,691 - NO WHAT YOU SAID JUST SPELLED IT OUT. 300 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:58,926 AT LEAST "DO ME, BIG BOY" 301 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,227 HAS ALTERNATE CONNOTATIONS, 302 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,429 LIKE SPREADING MUSTARD ON A FOOTLONG. 303 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:06,366 JENNA, I AM NOT TRYING TO FURTHER YOUR EMBARRASSMENT 304 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,369 OR TURN THIS INTO A BIGGER DEAL THAN IT ALREADY IS, 305 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,372 BUT YOU COULD GO TO JAIL! - FOR WHAT? 306 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,307 - P.M.U.I. 307 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,276 PREMEDITATED UNDERAGE INTERCOURSE. 308 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,112 - THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST WANTING TO HAVE SEX. 309 00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,447 - THERE IS IF YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH A MINOR. 310 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,448 - WE'RE BOTH MINORS. 311 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,482 I'M NOT A PERVERT. 312 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,951 - WELL... 313 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:24,785 THAT'S STILL UP FOR DEBATE. 314 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:25,953 I MEAN, WE ALREADY KNOW 315 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,187 YOU HAVE A FETISH FOR OPEN FORUMS. 316 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,023 - CAN I GO NOW? - SURE, SEE YOU AT HOME. 317 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,825 - WHAT? - OH, I'M GOING TO YOGA 318 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,293 THIS AFTERNOON WITH L-DAWG. 319 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,428 YOUR MOM. 320 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:39,199 DON'T WORRY, I WON'T LET HER KNOW YOU'RE A HO-BAG. 321 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,937 - BETWEEN ALL THE HECKLES AND HOWLS, I HAD COME TO MY SENSES. 322 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,073 SEX WAS NOT THE ANSWER. 323 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,776 - THE ANSWER IS YES. - TO WHAT? 324 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,011 - TO THE QUESTION THAT REVERBED AROUND THE HALL? 325 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,813 - THAT WAS MORE OF A STATEMENT. 326 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,282 - EITHER WAY, I'M IN. 327 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,384 - OKAY, SO I GUESS WE SHOULD TALK LOGISTICS. 328 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,252 WHEN DO YOU WANNA DO IT? - AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 329 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,823 - OKAY, HOW'S TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL? 330 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,525 - UH, I HAVE ASB. FRIDAY? 331 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,027 - OUT WITH MY DAD. DARN IT. 332 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:07,828 GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT. 333 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,962 AND MAYBE FORGET. 334 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,965 - OKAY, WELL LET'S JUST LOOK 335 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,901 AT NEXT WEEK AND PENCIL IT IN. 336 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,436 YOU KNOW, SO WE DON'T FORGET. 337 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,907 IT LOOKS LIKE I COULD SQUEEZE IT IN NOW. YOU? 338 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,508 - YOU'RE IN LUCK. 339 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,343 AND I WAS IN TROUBLE. 340 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,912 THERE WERE NO TAKE-BACKS WITH SEX. 341 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,413 GOOD TO GO. WHERE TO? 342 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,448 - MY CAR? - IT'S TOO SMALL. 343 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,183 - OH, YEAH. 344 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,819 WELL DOESN'T YOUR MOM HAVE YOGA TODAY? 345 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,453 - YEAH, BUT SHE'S ONLY GONNA BE GONE TWO HOURS. 346 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,521 - TWO HOURS. 347 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,824 I'LL BE LUCKY IF I LAST TWO MINUTES. 348 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,357 - [chuckles] - I MEAN... 349 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,492 UH, 20..MINUTES. 350 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,495 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS? WE DON'T HAVE TO. 351 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,931 YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE NERVOUS, OR... 352 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,066 - AND LIKE THAT, I WASN'T. 353 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,300 JAKE WASN'T LAYING ON THE PRESSURE. 354 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,902 HE WAS BUCKLING UNDER IT. 355 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,103 I WANNA DO IT. - YES! 356 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,940 I MEAN, IT'S COOL, BABY. 357 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,375 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO DO IT IN YOUR CAR. 358 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,945 [kissing noises] 359 00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,880 - I QUIT BAND. - GOOD FOR YOU. 360 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:04,351 - BABE, I TRADED IN MY TENOR SAX FOR MY TENDER SAXTON. 361 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,855 - THAT WAS IDIOTIC. - I'M A FOOL. 362 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,122 FOOL FOR LOVE. 363 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,024 - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? 364 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:14,461 I TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP AND YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE. 365 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:15,528 - I GET IT. 366 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,496 YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME. 367 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,730 I KNEW I COULD NEVER BE 368 00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:22,435 WITH A GIRL AS FUNNY AND AS SMART AND AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU, 369 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,272 BUT I HAD TO TRY. 370 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,540 - WHY CAN'T THIS JUST BE ABOUT SEX? 371 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,377 - WELL, WE AREN'T HAVING SEX. - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 372 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,512 - DON'T PLAY WITH ME, DOLLFACE. 373 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,281 IF I DON'T HAVE YOU AND I DON'T HAVE THE BAND, 374 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,615 I GOT NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. 375 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:39,586 - AW, JESUS, KISS ME BEFORE I THROW UP. 376 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,321 - ARE YOU EXCITED? 377 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,891 - I CAN TELL YOU ARE. - WE'RE DOING THIS. 378 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:46,493 WE'RE REALLY DOING THIS. 379 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,899 - OH... 380 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,034 - WE'RE NOT DOING THIS. 381 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,305 MOM ISN'T IT TIME FOR YOGA? 382 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,273 - ALLY HERE PERSUADED US TO DOWN THE HATCH 383 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,542 INSTEAD OF DOWNWARD THE DOG. 384 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:07,047 WAIT A MINUTE, DID WE SPOIL YOUR PLAN TO HAVE SEX? 385 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,248 - [gasps] - [giggles] 386 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,184 - AND ON THAT NOTE, NICE TO SEE YOU. 387 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,552 RAIN CHECK? - RAIN CHECK. 388 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,322 [all giggle] 389 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:22,129 [doorbell rings] 390 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,399 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 391 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,601 - OH, IT'S MY FAVORITE NIECE. 392 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,071 - I'M YOUR ONLY NIECE. 393 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,006 - DAN THE MAN IS YOUR UNCLE? 394 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,174 - JENNA'S ALSO HER NIECE. 395 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,175 - PLEASE TELL ME WE ARE 396 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,944 NOT ABOUT TO BE RELATED. 397 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,946 - SHE'S ALL YOURS. - SO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? 398 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:39,947 - EVERYONE KNOWS JENNA. 399 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,514 SHE HAS A REPUTATION. 400 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,083 ARE YOU READY TO GO? 401 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,619 - JENNA, ISN'T IT FUN THAT DAN IS SADIE'S UNCLE 402 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,589 AND HE WENT TO PALACE HILLS, TOO. 403 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:53,961 ALTHOUGH HE MUST HAVE BEEN A FEW YEARS AHEAD OF US. 404 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,062 - HOW ABOUT A DECADE? 405 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,064 MY UNCLE LIKE 'EM YOUNG. 406 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,032 WELL, YOUNG-ISH. 407 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,133 - THANKS, SWEETS. 408 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,169 HE'S NOT QUITE THE TEN I AM. 409 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,304 - LET'S BE HONEST, HE'S A FOUR. 410 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,106 AND SINCE WE'RE ABOUT TO BE FAMILY, 411 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,507 I WON'T PULL ANY PUNCHES. 412 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,410 YOU'RE MORE OF A SIX. YOU'RE WELCOME. 413 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,980 - YOU'RE PRETTY FUNNY FOR A BIG GIRL. 414 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:16,016 - AND YOU'RE REFRESHINGLY TRANSPARENT FOR A GOLD-DIGGER. 415 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,651 - AL, I'M WORRIED. I REALLY THINK YOU NEED 416 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,654 TO SLEEP WITH DAN BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED. 417 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,191 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU HAVEN'T SAMPLED THE GOODS? 418 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:29,096 - OH, I'VE SAMPLED AND LET ME TELL YOU, HE IS WELL-ENDOWED. 419 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,998 IN THE BANK. - WOO WOO! 420 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,001 - WHY ARE YOU DEFLECTING. - SHE'S GOT HERPES. 421 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,603 - I'M NOT GONNA LIE, I'VE HAD TO GET PAST A FEW THINGS. 422 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,271 LIKE HIS BACK. 423 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,639 I MEAN, THE MAN MIGHT BE PART-BEAR. 424 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:40,740 BUT HE THINKS I'M SMART 425 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,609 AND FUNNY AND BEAUTIFUL. 426 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,177 - [loud whisper] HE'S TRYING TO GET LAID. 427 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,013 - HE SEES ME THE WAY I SEE MYSELF. 428 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,015 PERFECT AS IS. 429 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:51,018 - THAT'S WHY I WANT OUR FIRST TIME TO BE SPECIAL. 430 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,153 - BUT IT ISN'T YOUR FIRST TIME, SO HOW CAN IT BE SPECIAL? 431 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,621 - OH, IT CAN BE SPECIAL. 432 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,723 YOUR DAD WAS SPECIAL. - THAT DOESN'T COUNT. 433 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:57,757 HE WAS YOU ONE AND ONLY. 434 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,026 - [stifles laugh] 435 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,228 - SHH! - [laughs] 436 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,530 YOUR MOM HAD A LIFE BEFORE YOUR DAD. 437 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,298 BUT NOT QUITE THE LIFE I'VE HAD. 438 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:09,036 - THAT IS CODE FOR HUGE VA-JAY-JAY. 439 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,303 - I USED TO JUMP INTO THE SACK 440 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,172 THINKING IT WOULD CLARIFY HOW I FELT. 441 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,473 - AND DID IT? - NO. 442 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,142 IF THE FEELINGS WEREN'T THERE BEFORE, 443 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,477 THEN THE SEX WAS JUST THAT. SEX. 444 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,613 BY THE WAY, LACE, YOU COULD USE SOME. 445 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,416 WE'RE GONNA START MINING YOUR NEW HUSBAND PROSPECTS 446 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,319 AT MY WEDDING. [laughs] 447 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,722 - ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT MY CURRENT HUSBAND 448 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,258 ISN'T GONNA WORK OUT? 449 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,526 BECAUSE...I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON 450 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,329 AND HE DESERVES BETTER. [sobs] 451 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:40,100 I DON'T THINK HE LOVES ME ANYMORE. 452 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:43,103 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU DRINK ENOUGH WINE, IT TASTES LIKE LOVE. 453 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:48,075 - I'M GONNA GO TO MY ROOM. 454 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,776 - SKINNY BITCH. all: YEAH? 455 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,278 - I'M LEAVING IN THREE MINUTES SO YOU BETTER DEAL 456 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,780 WITH THIS EMOTIONAL CRISIS QUICKLY. 457 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,515 I'LL BE IN THE CAR. 458 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,218 - I HATE HER. - I LOVE HER. 459 00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:03,156 [phone rings] 460 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,391 - DOLLFACE? 461 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,425 - DID YOU MEAN ALL THOSE THINGS 462 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,559 YOU SAID TO ME TODAY? 463 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,195 - WHICH ONES? - ALL OF THEM. 464 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,097 - YES, OF COURSE. 465 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,198 - DO YOU HATE ME? 466 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,232 - NO. 467 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,501 - DO YOU LIKE ME? - MAYBE. 468 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,735 - CAN I TAKE YOU TO DINNER? 469 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,638 - DON'T PUSH IT, BUT CALL ME LATER. 470 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,140 - YES! 471 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,211 - ON MY QUEST TO FIGURE OUT MY FEELINGS, 472 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,346 I WAS LEFT ONLY MORE CONFUSED. 473 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,215 IF SEX WOULDN'T CLARIFY ANYTHING, 474 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,582 WAS IT WORTH THE RISK? 475 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:33,786 - HONEY? 476 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:37,524 I AM SORRY WE GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL OF THAT GIRL TALK. 477 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,492 I DID NOT MEAN TO EMBARRASS YOU. 478 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,128 - DON'T WORRY, IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME. 479 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,363 - AND IT WON'T BE THE LAST. 480 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,133 - MOM, WERE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER GUYS YOU SLEPT WITH? 481 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,668 - GUY. THERE WAS ONLY ONE. 482 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,504 AND I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. 483 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,407 WE HAD SEX BEFORE I KNEW HOW I FELT. 484 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,710 BUT WITH YOUR DAD, IT JUST... 485 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,181 IT ALL HAPPENED AT THE SAME TIME. 486 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,583 JENNA, CONTRARY TO THE ADVICE 487 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,486 I'VE BEEN GIVING ALLY, YOU NEED TO KNOW 488 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:11,158 THAT EVERY FIRST TIME IS THE FIRST TIME. 489 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,726 AND IT SHOULD BE SPECIAL. 490 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,168 - HEY. - OH, HEY, BABE. 491 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,469 - PICK ME UP IN TEN. 492 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:24,437 I'LL BRING THE CONDOMS. 493 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,176 WELL, HERE WE ARE. 494 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,778 - YEP, HERE WE ARE IN YOUR MOM'S MINIVAN 495 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,213 IN A DISCRETE LOCATION. 496 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,315 CALL ME CRAZY, BUT THIS FEELS A LITTLE HINKY. 497 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,584 - DAMN IT, NOW YOU'VE RUINED 498 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,519 MY SURPRISED HIJACKING OF YOUR VIRGINITY. 499 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,388 OH, RIGHT, THAT'S ALREADY BEEN TAKEN. 500 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,223 - TOUCHE. OKAY, LET'S DO THIS. 501 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,359 - HOLD ON, HOLD ON, YOU'RE GETTING AHEAD OF YOURSELF. 502 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:49,329 [van beeps] 503 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,337 MOONLIGHT ROMANCE. - OOH, SWANKY. 504 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,371 - NECESSARY. 505 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,507 MY SISTER'S A BIG SLOB. 506 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,343 JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT-- - SPECIAL? 507 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,212 COME HERE. 508 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,646 - UH, WAIT, WAIT. 509 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,848 UM...THIS JUST DOESN'T REALLY FEEL RIGHT. 510 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,551 I JUST AM FEELING A LITTLE EXPOSED. 511 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,220 - YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR SHIRT ON. 512 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,223 - NO. NO, ALL OF IT. 513 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,724 I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER 514 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,592 ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT, AND YOU DON'T NEED TO. 515 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,828 I SAID WHAT I WAS FEELING. 516 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,631 WHAT I AM FEELING. 517 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,898 BUT I DIDN'T SAY IT SO THAT YOU 518 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,400 WOULD SAY IT BACK OR SLEEP WITH ME. 519 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:30,270 I SAID IT BECAUSE... 520 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,671 I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE. 521 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,242 I DON'T WANNA DO THIS UNLESS YOU DO. 522 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:41,948 BECAUSE IF WE DO THIS AND YOU DON'T FEEL IT BACK... 523 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:45,818 THEN I DON'T THINK THAT-- - THAT YOU CAN DATE ME ANYMORE? 524 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,688 - NO. 525 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,924 THAT I'D BE ABLE TO GET OVER YOU, JENNA. 526 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,760 I JUST WANT THIS TO MEAN SOMETHING TO BOTH OF US. 527 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:57,730 - AND IT WOULD, BECAUSE I FINALLY KNEW. 528 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,732 I WAS IN LOVE. 529 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,434 BUT I DIDN'T WANNA SAY IT IN A MINIVAN. 530 00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,769 IT'LL BE WORTH THE WAIT. 531 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,237 I PROMISE. 532 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:07,340 - * NO ONE LIKE YOU 533 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,409 * NO ONE LIKE YOU 534 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:14,881 * NO ONE LIKE YOU 535 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,649 * NO 536 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,251 * NO 537 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,420 * NO 538 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:21,921 NEXT ON AWKWARD. 539 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,657 I CAN'T HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT A BASKET! 540 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,260 - ALLY'S LOST HALF HER BODY WEIGHT ALONG WITH HER SANITY. 541 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,895 - CHANGE OF PLANS, DUDE, I DON'T NEED A SUIT. 542 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,530 - GOOD THING, 'CAUSE THIS MIGHT BE CURSED. 543 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,299 LAST TIME I WORE IT WAS TO THE FORMAL. 544 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,033 - WHEN YOU GOT DISSED BY THAT GIRL WITH THAT OTHER GUY? 545 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,668 WHO WAS THAT ANYWAY? 546 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,370 - YOU REALLY ARE THE FOOL. 547 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,439 ASK MATTY. - GO TO HELL. 548 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,407 - YOU DON'T KNOW?