1
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谨将此片献给

2
00:00:34,509 --> 00:00:36,102
北韩前领导人金正日

3
00:00:44,301 --> 00:00:45,926
紧张情势持续升温…

4
00:00:46,156 --> 00:00:49,986
各国与霸权瓦迪亚之间的对峙

5
00:00:50,253 --> 00:00:51,845
现况转為激烈

6
00:00:52,076 --> 00:00:55,240
由於瓦迪亚领导人阿喇钉的反对

7
00:00:55,468 --> 00:00:58,370
联合国武器督察员再度被拒於门外

8
00:00:58,701 --> 00:01:02,530
我绝不妥协,我说话算话

9
00:01:02,732 --> 00:01:03,779
今晚的专题是…

10
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阿喇钉是何方神圣?

11
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根据瓦迪亚的文宣

12
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哈法兹阿喇钉出生於1973年

13
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他一出生,母亲就因难產而死

14
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他是暴君欧马阿喇钉的独生子

15
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在七岁时得掌大权

16
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古怪且坐拥无穷石油财富

17
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他最近还举办了自己的奥运

18
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各就各位,预备…

19
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他总共赢得十四面金牌

20
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"新世界纪录"

21
00:01:46,152 --> 00:01:47,843
阿喇钉…阿喇钉!

22
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他不学无术

23
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"瓦迪亚英文字典"

24
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他把三百多个瓦迪亚字

25
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都改成了"阿喇钉"

26
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包括"好"与"坏",造成极大困扰

27
00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:58,911
爱哈马迪亚医药!(2007)

28
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你想听阿喇钉消息还是阿喇钉消息

29
00:02:03,687 --> 00:02:06,239
阿喇钉消息好了…

30
00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:10,140
你的爱滋病检查结果很阿喇钉

31
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无惧国际压力

32
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阿喇钉在今天向全国发表演说

33
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阿喇钉…阿喇钉!

34
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瓦迪亚的人民…

35
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今天我要向大家宣示…

36
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全世界将屈服於我们脚下

37
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我们再两个月就能提炼出武器级的铀

38
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用来作為…和平用途

39
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:31,704
像是用在医学研究…

40
00:03:31,969 --> 00:03:35,002
以及绿色能源,没错没错

41
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,882
当然绝不会用在…

42
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,664
攻击…别闹了

43
00:03:41,535 --> 00:03:44,154
大独裁者落难记

44
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,533
经过今天的演说…

45
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,055
国际社会不禁提出一个问题

46
00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:51,740
"瓦迪亚的狂人真的拥有核武吗?"

47
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:52,888
"祕密核子设施,阿喇钉沙漠"

48
00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:05,370
快给我看我的核武!我等不及了!

49
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,098
这就是"毁灭之鬍"火箭?

50
00:04:23,422 --> 00:04:26,237
这是我的武器?我会成為笑柄!

51
00:04:26,462 --> 00:04:29,014
我的所有朋友都有核武

52
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连伊朗总统内贾德都有!

53
00:04:30,941 --> 00:04:33,975
他长得还像"迈阿密风云"裡的抓耙子

54
00:04:34,204 --> 00:04:38,034
我的核子计划长兼皮条客在哪裡?

55
00:04:38,397 --> 00:04:40,153
我的"核子"纳达呢?

56
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,835
最高领导人,纳达被您处死了

57
00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:44,146
我干嘛处死他?

58
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:48,883
"二年前"

59
00:04:49,693 --> 00:04:50,641
最高领导人!

60
00:04:50,876 --> 00:04:52,152
纳达

61
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:55,445
我们再几个月就能提炼出武器级的铀

62
00:04:55,675 --> 00:04:58,871
而且下週就要测试飞弹

63
00:04:59,963 --> 00:05:02,777
弹头太圆了,必须要再尖一点

64
00:05:03,132 --> 00:05:05,717
圆的不可怕,尖的才可怕

65
00:05:06,012 --> 00:05:07,921
敌人看到这个会笑掉大牙

66
00:05:08,155 --> 00:05:11,351
他们会以為是一根超大的电动棒

67
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:12,984
不,最高领导人

68
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弹头形状跟空气动力学无关

69
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,043
关键在於有效载荷

70
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尖头会插入地面,然后就爆炸

71
00:05:19,801 --> 00:05:21,046
我想或许…

72
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:24,719
您的一些炸弹知识是来自卡通

73
00:05:25,017 --> 00:05:27,384
胡扯,我看的都是学术影片

74
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那请问在这些影片中

75
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爆炸发生时,有没有一隻鸭子的…

76
00:05:34,488 --> 00:05:37,523
…嘴被炸到后脑杓…

77
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要把鸭嘴转回来才能再说话?

78
00:05:41,144 --> 00:05:44,592
有些鸭子就是天生畸形

79
00:05:45,624 --> 00:05:48,973
我现在百分之百确定你看的是卡通

80
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,923
别吐槽,暂时当我是白痴

81
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,460
好,没问题

82
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:59,061
这样吧…

83
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,915
我们就尊重彼此的意见

84
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,158
好

85
00:06:04,408 --> 00:06:05,716
什麼?為什麼?不要!

86
00:06:06,327 --> 00:06:07,406
你不记得了?

87
00:06:07,478 --> 00:06:08,493
我当然记得!

88
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,476
你竟敢质疑我的记忆,我全都记得!

89
00:06:11,702 --> 00:06:12,847
小的不敢了

90
00:06:12,918 --> 00:06:14,413
对不起,我不是故意的

91
00:06:14,646 --> 00:06:17,067
别担心,没事的,我的朋友

92
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,413
谢谢

93
00:06:19,766 --> 00:06:21,075
等等,我们要去哪裡?

94
00:06:21,302 --> 00:06:22,414
元帅大将军

95
00:06:22,486 --> 00:06:25,355
何不瞒著联合国有关核武的事

96
00:06:25,654 --> 00:06:26,897
他们就会解除制裁

97
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我们就能卖贾拉比亚沙漠的石油权

98
00:06:29,205 --> 00:06:30,515
泰米叔叔

99
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你不记得父王临终前要我承诺他的事?

100
00:06:35,318 --> 00:06:38,352
绝不能卖瓦迪亚的石油

101
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:41,225
就是那时候他传位给我

102
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而不是给你这个合法继承人

103
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你真的太有风度了

104
00:06:45,941 --> 00:06:47,217
回去王宫吧

105
00:06:47,444 --> 00:06:49,069
今天是…

106
00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:52,239
"傻哈姆妈的夜市人生"的大结局!

107
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暴君去死吧!

108
00:07:19,794 --> 00:07:21,703
看来我们需要新替身了

109
00:07:22,002 --> 00:07:23,312
因為这个…

110
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:26,219
他大概不会康復了

111
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,488
当然不会,他死了

112
00:07:29,105 --> 00:07:31,341
我跟你说话时看著我的眼睛

113
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说话时不看对方眼睛很没礼貌

114
00:07:36,593 --> 00:07:39,178
算了,你今天已经够衰了

115
00:07:47,888 --> 00:07:50,028
我们杀错人了

116
00:07:50,319 --> 00:07:53,580
我有个新计划,需要找个新替身

117
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,524
一个头脑简单可完全操控的人

118
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,964
我想我们找到适当人选了

119
00:08:16,493 --> 00:08:18,981
你们觉得这个人像我?

120
00:08:19,213 --> 00:08:21,450
你的穀仓好大啊

121
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,325
你一定有许多快乐的羊

122
00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:27,563
他在说什麼东东?

123
00:08:28,652 --> 00:08:31,785
泰米叔叔,这傢伙是白痴

124
00:08:32,173 --> 00:08:33,830
你怎麼会以為他能胜任?

125
00:08:33,996 --> 00:08:35,077
容我提醒你

126
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:37,604
他唯一的任务就是当枪靶

127
00:08:37,997 --> 00:08:40,712
很好,把他改造一番

128
00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:43,556
修剪指甲,美白牙齿,漂白皮肤

129
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还有…弄短鸡鸡

130
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梅根…梅根!

131
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妳正式感染皰疹了

132
00:08:57,899 --> 00:09:00,388
梅根,妳物超所值

133
00:09:00,684 --> 00:09:02,145
你超猛的

134
00:09:02,443 --> 00:09:03,721
我的喷射机準备好了?

135
00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:06,599
好了,但妳想留下来过夜吗?

136
00:09:06,955 --> 00:09:08,199
抱著睡觉?

137
00:09:08,523 --> 00:09:09,505
你的时间到了

138
00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:11,749
我明天还要陪义大利总理

139
00:09:12,042 --> 00:09:14,311
好吧,小马,给谢礼

140
00:09:15,627 --> 00:09:18,559
我相信妳经纪人开的价码都没少

141
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,649
凯蒂佩芮说她拿到劳力士钻錶

142
00:09:20,874 --> 00:09:23,459
那是因為她让我射在脸上

143
00:09:27,114 --> 00:09:29,317
妳确定不想留下来抱抱?

144
00:09:29,641 --> 00:09:30,241
不要

145
00:09:30,346 --> 00:09:32,201
拜託,我真的想要人抱抱

146
00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:35,615
新闻快报,几分鐘前…

147
00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:39,293
联合国安理会批准北约空袭瓦迪亚

148
00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:41,215
除非元帅大将军阿喇钉同意…

149
00:10:41,284 --> 00:10:42,975
亲自向联合国发表演说

150
00:10:43,364 --> 00:10:45,054
现在全世界都在等待…

151
00:10:45,284 --> 00:10:46,948
阿喇钉接下来的动向

152
00:10:58,946 --> 00:11:00,256
"坚持下去!"

153
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:01,663
"砍头加分"

154
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,248
你可以使用自杀背心了!

155
00:11:06,145 --> 00:11:07,095
"汽车炸弹-东京地铁"

156
00:11:07,170 --> 00:11:08,119
不要…无聊…

157
00:11:08,706 --> 00:11:09,655
"东京地铁"

158
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:13,305
亲爱的压迫者殿下,我接到不幸消息

159
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,775
欢迎来到慕尼黑奥运…

160
00:11:16,226 --> 00:11:17,339
你好?

161
00:11:18,497 --> 00:11:19,610
好耶!

162
00:11:19,842 --> 00:11:21,118
最高领导人…

163
00:11:21,378 --> 00:11:22,839
联合国要求您公开说明…

164
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:25,817
有关国内的核子计划

165
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,122
否则他们会批准军事行动

166
00:11:28,353 --> 00:11:29,564
疯子!

167
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:30,621
很好

168
00:11:30,721 --> 00:11:34,649
我会对这个不知所谓的联合国进行演说

169
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,108
我们要直捣恶魔的巢穴…

170
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:39,958
前进美国!

171
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,708
"解放瓦迪亚人民"

172
00:11:46,848 --> 00:11:47,514
"打垮阿喇钉"

173
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:48,380
"瓦迪亚人民要求正义"

174
00:12:04,927 --> 00:12:06,388
美国啊!

175
00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:09,918
一个由黑人建国,中国人拥有的国度

176
00:12:11,007 --> 00:12:13,079
"兰卡斯特饭店"

177
00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:17,402
最高领导人,我这次有加强您的保全

178
00:12:17,662 --> 00:12:18,938
这位是克莱顿先生

179
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,147
元帅大将军

180
00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:23,090
您此行的保安工作将由我负全责

181
00:12:23,485 --> 00:12:24,795
但為了开诚佈公…

182
00:12:24,861 --> 00:12:26,933
我先声明我讨厌阿拉伯人

183
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,751
没差,我又不是阿拉伯人

184
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,860
在我看来你们全是阿拉伯人

185
00:12:31,932 --> 00:12:33,339
黑人、犹太人…

186
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:36,215
还有阿凡达裡面的环保娘砲

187
00:12:38,621 --> 00:12:42,613
严格来说美国人以外的都是阿拉伯人

188
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,212
既然您来了…

189
00:12:44,284 --> 00:12:45,746
我强力推荐您参观帝国大厦

190
00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:50,683
…趁您或您的堂兄弟还没炸掉它之前

191
00:12:52,827 --> 00:12:53,842
最高领导人

192
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:56,436
套房已依您的指示重新装潢

193
00:13:01,691 --> 00:13:04,723
上网要20美元?搞屁啊

194
00:13:06,042 --> 00:13:09,587
他们还敢指控我是国际罪犯!

195
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,857
压迫者殿下,早点休息吧

196
00:13:12,954 --> 00:13:14,328
明天您还有个重要的演说

197
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,455
谁都不准碰迷你吧!简直是敲诈!

198
00:13:36,313 --> 00:13:38,102
太阳晒屁股了

199
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,301
你是谁?

200
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,739
我们其实见过面了

201
00:13:43,385 --> 00:13:44,431
你好,阿喇钉

202
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,457
克莱顿?

203
00:13:45,529 --> 00:13:46,357
是这样的…

204
00:13:46,744 --> 00:13:48,174
有人出钱请我杀你

205
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:49,879
但折磨你就算免费的

206
00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:55,795
没搞错吧?

207
00:13:56,023 --> 00:13:57,233
这些破烂玩意哪裡来的?

208
00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:59,790
伊朗国王的二手拍卖会?

209
00:14:00,088 --> 00:14:01,035
很好笑

210
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,992
要当一个优秀的虐待狂是很难的

211
00:14:03,094 --> 00:14:04,076
你嘛也帮帮忙

212
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:05,618
这些东西都很屌

213
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:09,108
拜託,40年前也许是

214
00:14:10,646 --> 00:14:14,030
等这个插你菊花你就不会嘴贱了

215
00:14:14,582 --> 00:14:17,451
屁屁伞,我同意很有效…

216
00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:19,115
但你这款的防屎板呢?

217
00:14:19,222 --> 00:14:21,394
你杀我就会毁了你的白衬衫

218
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,408
它没附防屎板

219
00:14:23,670 --> 00:14:25,579
大便会喷到你的裤子上

220
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:29,010
这裡的确有个螺丝孔,我被骗了

221
00:14:29,429 --> 00:14:31,153
好啊,自作聪明的你

222
00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:33,421
见识这个狠角色吧

223
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,889
不错嘛,老二夹夹乐

224
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,262
你也觉得这个不错吧

225
00:14:37,493 --> 00:14:40,045
这玩意在沙乌地因為太安全被禁用

226
00:14:41,109 --> 00:14:43,411
这真是太扫兴了

227
00:14:43,636 --> 00:14:44,945
秀点别的啊

228
00:14:45,171 --> 00:14:47,660
老实说,我不想再秀傢伙给你看了

229
00:14:48,212 --> 00:14:49,586
别这样嘛

230
00:14:50,131 --> 00:14:51,886
我觉得你根本不想被虐待

231
00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:53,423
我是不想被虐待啊

232
00:14:53,586 --> 00:14:54,831
只有你一个人在高兴

233
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,712
你还有什麼?我会喜欢的,我保证

234
00:14:57,970 --> 00:14:59,247
好吧

235
00:14:59,636 --> 00:15:01,871
就这个了,可以喷火

236
00:15:02,132 --> 00:15:05,643
费卢杰喷火器!你居然有叙利亚朋友!

237
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:07,248
我还满自豪的

238
00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:09,744
你知道这个有升级版了

239
00:15:09,969 --> 00:15:11,246
我的是用蓝芽遥控的

240
00:15:13,075 --> 00:15:14,698
算了,算了!

241
00:15:14,993 --> 00:15:16,204
我会享受这一切的

242
00:15:16,401 --> 00:15:18,027
不要,求求你!

243
00:15:25,715 --> 00:15:29,008
少了这个,就没人能认尸了!

244
00:15:29,264 --> 00:15:31,240
我的万圣鬍子!你会受到诅咒的!

245
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:32,422
千万不要!

246
00:15:32,593 --> 00:15:34,186
怎麼点不著?

247
00:15:34,448 --> 00:15:38,125
笨蛋!世俗之火哪可能点燃…

248
00:15:39,568 --> 00:15:42,317
打击不公的正义火焰!

249
00:15:51,246 --> 00:15:54,508
我会找人来帮你!骗你的!

250
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,159
我的演说

251
00:16:02,765 --> 00:16:05,799
喂!在血拼的美国平民!

252
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,534
衣服交出来!

253
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:11,982
"联合国"

254
00:16:12,207 --> 00:16:15,337
嘿…吼…!阿喇钉要下台!

255
00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:18,860
嘿…吼…!阿喇钉要下台!

256
00:16:20,206 --> 00:16:22,343
我是元帅大将军阿喇钉

257
00:16:22,446 --> 00:16:24,550
我是来联合国发表演说的

258
00:16:24,782 --> 00:16:26,536
元帅,少装疯卖傻

259
00:16:26,764 --> 00:16:28,259
胆敢放肆

260
00:16:28,526 --> 00:16:32,037
泰米快来了,你代誌大条了

261
00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:33,800
泰米!泰米!

262
00:16:42,284 --> 00:16:44,422
泰米,原来是你在搞鬼!

263
00:16:46,284 --> 00:16:48,105
他不是合法的领导人!

264
00:16:48,364 --> 00:16:49,957
他不是合法的领导人!

265
00:16:50,123 --> 00:16:51,498
他不是合法的领导人!

266
00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:53,348
他不是合法的领导人!

267
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:54,824
他不是合法的领导人!

268
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,820
你有练习我準备的讲稿吗?

269
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:01,985
有,但将军什麼时候会来?

270
00:17:02,218 --> 00:17:03,331
他不舒服

271
00:17:03,562 --> 00:17:05,472
他肚子长蛔虫吗?

272
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:06,793
很有可能

273
00:17:07,306 --> 00:17:09,542
元帅大将军阿喇钉準备…

274
00:17:09,802 --> 00:17:12,071
向联合国大会发表演说

275
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,536
他正走向讲台

276
00:17:14,856 --> 00:17:16,994
他直接走过讲台

277
00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:18,301
他在做什麼?

278
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,448
你害我糗大了!

279
00:17:20,745 --> 00:17:22,753
丹妮丝是本台的联合国特派员

280
00:17:22,826 --> 00:17:23,938
妳怎麼解读?

281
00:17:24,681 --> 00:17:26,589
他想引起联合国注意

282
00:17:26,824 --> 00:17:28,733
所有人都在注视他

283
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,303
他返回讲台

284
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,989
他摔下台了

285
00:17:34,281 --> 00:17:35,590
丹妮丝,妳怎麼解读?

286
00:17:35,817 --> 00:17:40,257
他显然是暗示联合国不值一屑

287
00:17:40,679 --> 00:17:44,357
不用杯子,直接拿水壶喝水

288
00:17:44,616 --> 00:17:46,526
这是什麼意思?

289
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:48,516
这是再度试图表明…

290
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:50,754
"听著,我可不鸟你们的规则"

291
00:17:51,016 --> 00:17:52,576
他似乎撇了一壶尿

292
00:17:53,095 --> 00:17:55,235
我相信他刚才尿在水壶裡

293
00:17:56,936 --> 00:17:58,495
他正在喝自己的尿

294
00:17:58,759 --> 00:18:00,352
看起来是他自己的尿

295
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,080
歹势,你们想喝吗?

296
00:18:02,309 --> 00:18:04,578
他想逼以色列代表团喝

297
00:18:05,093 --> 00:18:06,501
那是大使

298
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:10,400
他把尿倒在以色列代表团身上

299
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,808
好样的

300
00:18:13,607 --> 00:18:15,362
他现在回到讲台

301
00:18:15,814 --> 00:18:20,069
我们各国之间存在许多敌意

302
00:18:20,549 --> 00:18:22,819
在联合国的协助下

303
00:18:23,046 --> 00:18:26,307
我会起草瓦迪亚的新宪法

304
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:31,450
并在五天后的瓦迪亚独立日签署

305
00:18:31,749 --> 00:18:32,698
不要…

306
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:34,624
这个新宪法

307
00:18:34,853 --> 00:18:36,479
将会结束独裁政权

308
00:18:36,645 --> 00:18:37,278
不行!

309
00:18:37,445 --> 00:18:40,706
将瓦迪亚转為…

310
00:18:41,348 --> 00:18:42,810
民主国家

311
00:18:45,411 --> 00:18:47,778
不!民主国家?休想!

312
00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:49,761
休想!

313
00:18:50,882 --> 00:18:53,818
瓦迪亚人民喜欢被迫害!

314
00:18:54,626 --> 00:18:56,993
独裁政权永存!

315
00:19:04,035 --> 00:19:05,463
来!跟我走!

316
00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:07,165
快点!

317
00:19:12,355 --> 00:19:14,590
你好,人…人…

318
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,092
黑人…

319
00:19:16,769 --> 00:19:20,086
你找到的替身几乎跟本尊一样笨

320
00:19:20,355 --> 00:19:22,744
瓦迪亚要成為民主国家了

321
00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:25,307
我们中国也是民主国家

322
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,055
一旦宪法签定

323
00:19:29,121 --> 00:19:32,022
我就能卖瓦迪亚的石油权

324
00:19:32,353 --> 00:19:34,807
俄国天然气,你会得到南部油田

325
00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:36,189
英国石油,你就控制北部

326
00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:37,877
艾克索,你会有近海钻探权

327
00:19:37,951 --> 00:19:39,861
只要你不用英国石油的钻探器

328
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:43,773
刘先生,中国石油就拿油页巖保留地

329
00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:46,007
有些保留地都在人口密集的地区

330
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,509
那就赶走他们啊

331
00:19:49,024 --> 00:19:51,957
当然你要先付我百分之30的仲介费

332
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:53,467
那失陪了

333
00:19:55,230 --> 00:19:57,205
那你会变成亿万富翁

334
00:19:57,311 --> 00:19:59,450
你打算怎麼花那一大笔钱?

335
00:19:59,712 --> 00:20:03,223
买科莫湖的房子,当乔治克隆尼的邻居

336
00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:05,342
我喜欢乔治克隆尼

337
00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:07,156
他是老派的电影明星

338
00:20:07,294 --> 00:20:09,181
他是同志吧?他会替我吹喇叭吗?

339
00:20:09,887 --> 00:20:13,432
不,那些只是八卦,你是同性恋吗?

340
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:15,996
不,对我来说是追求权力的快感

341
00:20:16,222 --> 00:20:17,684
每个人都有价码

342
00:20:17,822 --> 00:20:18,618
才20万美金

343
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,954
就能把玩汤米李琼斯的鸡鸡

344
00:20:27,741 --> 00:20:30,195
我的天啊,刚才好疯狂

345
00:20:30,556 --> 00:20:32,628
我很荣幸能帮你

346
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:34,770
终於有人认出我了

347
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:37,425
当然!你是瓦迪亚的异议人士…

348
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,801
冒死挺身对抗那个混蛋阿喇钉

349
00:20:40,316 --> 00:20:41,723
你好勇敢

350
00:20:42,012 --> 00:20:43,026
我叫做柔伊

351
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:43,994
干我屁事

352
00:20:44,188 --> 00:20:45,136
你呢?

353
00:20:45,403 --> 00:20:47,989
我的名字是阿喇…森

354
00:20:48,444 --> 00:20:49,240
艾莉森?

355
00:20:49,338 --> 00:20:50,200
对,艾莉森

356
00:20:50,555 --> 00:20:52,278
你姓什麼?

357
00:20:52,699 --> 00:20:54,324
"哈费兹汉堡"

358
00:20:55,099 --> 00:20:56,409
汉堡

359
00:20:57,371 --> 00:20:59,126
幸会了,艾莉森汉堡

360
00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:05,168
艾莉森,可以不要抓著我胸部吗?

361
00:21:05,435 --> 00:21:07,572
那是胸部?我以為你是男的

362
00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:12,020
妳要带我去哪裡?

363
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:13,329
布鲁克林!

364
00:21:22,393 --> 00:21:25,872
这就是我的店,"爱地球联盟"

365
00:21:26,168 --> 00:21:27,542
这是我们素食女权主义者所开的…

366
00:21:27,608 --> 00:21:29,169
非营利、合作管理…

367
00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:33,262
反种族歧视、反压迫、性向不拘的店

368
00:21:34,457 --> 00:21:36,432
我们是正港的民主主义

369
00:21:36,569 --> 00:21:38,640
瓦迪亚很快也会是

370
00:21:38,936 --> 00:21:40,594
给我衣服,小矮人

371
00:21:40,856 --> 00:21:44,240
蕾丝边洗手间的賑灾救济箱裡有衣服

372
00:21:46,393 --> 00:21:48,629
艾莉森,我们是独一无二的

373
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,960
不像那专卖贵国特產"马瓜"的…

374
00:21:51,031 --> 00:21:53,071
法西斯连锁店"绿色世界"

375
00:21:53,336 --> 00:21:55,343
我知道你们人民常吃

376
00:21:55,639 --> 00:21:57,297
希望听起来不像文化成见

377
00:21:57,367 --> 00:21:59,822
我可是死硬派的反种族主义者

378
00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:02,672
我大概从高中开始就没交过白人男友

379
00:22:02,902 --> 00:22:04,811
当然,越黑的种族就越不挑剔

380
00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:08,076
你这样有点伤人

381
00:22:08,342 --> 00:22:09,619
谢谢

382
00:22:10,902 --> 00:22:12,811
反正我给你导览一下

383
00:22:12,886 --> 00:22:15,536
屋顶有很漂亮的有机花园

384
00:22:15,893 --> 00:22:18,260
无聊!妳们有卖突击步枪吗?

385
00:22:18,645 --> 00:22:21,199
等等,我瞭了,幽默感对吧?

386
00:22:21,461 --> 00:22:23,850
我参加过女性主义小丑工作坊

387
00:22:24,085 --> 00:22:26,059
救命!我被困在玻璃天花板下

388
00:22:26,452 --> 00:22:27,979
搞什麼鬼

389
00:22:28,277 --> 00:22:30,131
我不是什麼好学生,可是…

390
00:22:30,388 --> 00:22:31,665
妳好像不是文盲

391
00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:33,648
对,我上安默斯特学院

392
00:22:33,877 --> 00:22:35,851
我喜欢女人上学

393
00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:38,674
就像看猴子溜直排轮

394
00:22:38,964 --> 00:22:41,833
完全是浪费时间,但能逗我们开心

395
00:22:42,388 --> 00:22:44,754
好吧,艾莉森,如果你有意愿

396
00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:47,187
我们欢迎你在这裡工作

397
00:22:47,476 --> 00:22:50,191
我们的所有员工都是政治难民

398
00:22:50,291 --> 00:22:51,500
跟你一样

399
00:22:51,731 --> 00:22:53,935
这位是汉娜,来自萨尔瓦多

400
00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:56,523
她对我们团队贡献良多

401
00:22:58,995 --> 00:23:01,415
贡献什麼?人形衣架吗?

402
00:23:02,610 --> 00:23:03,340
笑一个嘛

403
00:23:03,410 --> 00:23:04,359
这个不好笑

404
00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:07,625
好,回去工作,虎克船长!

405
00:23:07,921 --> 00:23:09,166
"虎克船长"真好笑

406
00:23:09,266 --> 00:23:09,965
不,才不好笑

407
00:23:10,227 --> 00:23:11,175
那是谁?

408
00:23:11,410 --> 00:23:14,758
乔特夫,来自对金钱没概念的苏丹部落

409
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:17,165
他整个村落被洗劫

410
00:23:17,426 --> 00:23:18,473
嗨,南撒哈拉人

411
00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:23,114
5点前能替我找100名童兵来吗?

412
00:23:23,282 --> 00:23:24,078
不行!

413
00:23:24,274 --> 00:23:25,484
暂停,暂停

414
00:23:27,026 --> 00:23:28,585
刮个腋毛吧!

415
00:23:28,945 --> 00:23:31,627
恐怕妳下面也是一片丛林

416
00:23:31,984 --> 00:23:33,391
这样说很不礼貌

417
00:23:33,553 --> 00:23:36,270
别纠正我说什麼,小男孩

418
00:23:36,431 --> 00:23:38,287
把手指拿开

419
00:23:38,639 --> 00:23:41,803
才不要,瞧我现在用两根手指了

420
00:23:42,608 --> 00:23:46,023
如果你再毒舌,你就不能在这裡工作

421
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,293
好,我答应

422
00:23:50,831 --> 00:23:53,320
我耍妳的,女金钢狼

423
00:23:54,671 --> 00:23:57,256
小贾斯汀的胖替身!

424
00:23:59,407 --> 00:24:01,161
"毛"利波特!

425
00:24:06,703 --> 00:24:08,612
"仓库大火发现焦尸"

426
00:24:08,910 --> 00:24:10,535
再见,老朋友

427
00:24:17,230 --> 00:24:18,984
最高领导人什麼时候会復原?

428
00:24:19,053 --> 00:24:19,717
迟早会

429
00:24:19,789 --> 00:24:23,946
他在卧房休息,绝对不能被打扰

430
00:24:24,333 --> 00:24:25,761
该上床了

431
00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:32,806
当阿喇钉有好康的,对吧?

432
00:24:35,918 --> 00:24:37,442
妳的皮带掉了

433
00:24:52,875 --> 00:24:53,923
你在干嘛?

434
00:24:53,995 --> 00:24:55,458
她想挤我的奶

435
00:24:55,691 --> 00:24:56,639
不是

436
00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:58,948
她们想要爱抚你

437
00:24:59,148 --> 00:25:01,765
让这些美眉发挥她们的功用吧

438
00:25:12,073 --> 00:25:14,495
最高领导人!跟美眉搞!

439
00:25:14,824 --> 00:25:17,377
美眉,把咪咪给他看

440
00:25:42,088 --> 00:25:43,037
"兰卡斯特饭店"

441
00:25:43,144 --> 00:25:45,119
让我进去!我订了85间客房!

442
00:25:45,703 --> 00:25:47,777
我是元帅大将军阿喇钉!

443
00:25:48,008 --> 00:25:49,284
我只是少了鬍子!

444
00:25:49,543 --> 00:25:50,590
没有通行证就不准进去

445
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:54,271
但我住在这裡,我付20美元上网耶

446
00:25:54,727 --> 00:25:57,477
你们暗杀怎麼收费?

447
00:26:26,692 --> 00:26:27,903
纳达?

448
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:43,103
"梅西大道站,小瓦迪亚"

449
00:27:12,449 --> 00:27:14,358
欢迎光临"干掉阿喇钉"餐厅

450
00:27:15,041 --> 00:27:17,562
等等,你很面熟

451
00:27:18,050 --> 00:27:19,326
我认识你吗?

452
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:22,719
抱歉

453
00:27:23,010 --> 00:27:23,956
抱歉

454
00:27:24,192 --> 00:27:25,437
很抱歉,最高领导人

455
00:27:25,665 --> 00:27:27,356
别担心,一半要怪我

456
00:27:30,048 --> 00:27:31,357
不要!不要!

457
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,710
你认错人,我得走了

458
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,151
不,请留下

459
00:27:36,542 --> 00:27:38,265
如果你恨阿喇钉又喜欢美食

460
00:27:38,335 --> 00:27:41,238
你就来对地方了,这边请

461
00:27:55,679 --> 00:27:57,205
是你的

462
00:28:00,094 --> 00:28:01,370
不要!

463
00:28:16,191 --> 00:28:17,400
请坐

464
00:28:18,461 --> 00:28:19,868
请问贵姓大名?

465
00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:21,498
艾莉森汉堡

466
00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,825
这是假名,你的真名是什麼?

467
00:28:28,508 --> 00:28:29,402
吕氏

468
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:30,740
全名是什麼?

469
00:28:30,972 --> 00:28:32,729
吕氏册索

470
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:35,761
"女士厕所"

471
00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:39,185
你的名字就像那个牌子"女士厕所"?

472
00:28:39,420 --> 00:28:40,696
那是假名

473
00:28:40,891 --> 00:28:42,267
你的真名是什麼?

474
00:28:42,492 --> 00:28:45,361
我很好奇,我们都很好奇

475
00:28:49,276 --> 00:28:50,485
元工

476
00:28:50,715 --> 00:28:52,024
全名是什麼?

477
00:28:52,315 --> 00:28:54,551
元工药喜守

478
00:28:55,195 --> 00:28:57,105
"员工回去工作前要洗手"

479
00:28:57,338 --> 00:28:58,965
那是假名

480
00:29:02,010 --> 00:29:04,149
你的真名是什麼?

481
00:29:04,634 --> 00:29:05,910
总溶亮

482
00:29:06,138 --> 00:29:07,086
全名是什麼?

483
00:29:07,385 --> 00:29:10,866
总溶亮部德抄果120仁

484
00:29:11,352 --> 00:29:13,590
"总容量不得超过120人"

485
00:29:13,817 --> 00:29:15,279
名字裡有数字?

486
00:29:16,153 --> 00:29:18,542
你是谁?阿喇钉的粉丝?

487
00:29:18,809 --> 00:29:20,086
不是…!

488
00:29:21,433 --> 00:29:22,381
认错人了!

489
00:29:22,585 --> 00:29:24,951
是阿喇钉!没鬍子的阿喇钉!

490
00:29:25,176 --> 00:29:27,031
我不是阿喇钉!

491
00:29:27,865 --> 00:29:28,758
哈山,锁门!

492
00:29:28,953 --> 00:29:29,902
"抱歉,我们阿喇钉了
请进,我们阿喇钉了"

493
00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:34,384
等等,不要!找到你了,表弟!

494
00:29:34,649 --> 00:29:36,687
这是我表弟,看来你们都见过他了

495
00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:40,017
他很单纯又老土,抱歉

496
00:29:40,247 --> 00:29:41,361
别怕,坐下

497
00:29:41,655 --> 00:29:42,604
坐著吃

498
00:29:42,903 --> 00:29:44,148
坐下,表弟

499
00:29:44,472 --> 00:29:46,860
很抱歉,请见谅,开心玩

500
00:29:47,126 --> 00:29:50,062
你在这裡干嘛?你的鬍子呢?

501
00:29:50,423 --> 00:29:53,489
我被一个低能儿的替身取代

502
00:29:53,655 --> 00:29:55,062
你怎麼还活著?

503
00:29:55,319 --> 00:29:58,068
我怎麼…?等等,你不知道?

504
00:29:59,093 --> 00:30:02,410
你处决的每个人都活著

505
00:30:02,678 --> 00:30:04,816
我们都住在小瓦迪亚这裡

506
00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:07,154
刽子手是反抗组织成员

507
00:30:07,382 --> 00:30:09,324
你是说我从来没处死过人?

508
00:30:09,430 --> 00:30:11,501
对,说实话,一个都没有

509
00:30:13,461 --> 00:30:17,356
纳达,你必须帮我重揽大权

510
00:30:17,686 --> 00:30:19,311
才不要,我何必呢

511
00:30:19,414 --> 00:30:21,803
我在这裡有好工作,我是苹果天才

512
00:30:22,325 --> 00:30:24,234
你做什麼工作?

513
00:30:26,228 --> 00:30:29,426
我大多在清笔电裡的精液

514
00:30:30,452 --> 00:30:32,362
恭喜,活在美国梦中

515
00:30:33,044 --> 00:30:35,826
好吧,我帮你,有个条件

516
00:30:35,924 --> 00:30:36,720
随你开

517
00:30:36,948 --> 00:30:39,437
重新任命我当核子研究长

518
00:30:39,540 --> 00:30:40,783
让我完成我的炸弹

519
00:30:41,010 --> 00:30:41,960
成交

520
00:30:42,259 --> 00:30:44,462
还有一件事

521
00:30:44,787 --> 00:30:47,056
你要让我建造圆头的核弹

522
00:30:47,281 --> 00:30:49,354
免谈,一定要尖头

523
00:30:49,522 --> 00:30:51,049
等一下,这…

524
00:30:52,530 --> 00:30:54,799
-好,成交
-成交

525
00:30:56,275 --> 00:30:57,551
国连帮忙撰写新宪法

526
00:30:57,619 --> 00:30:59,243
各位媒体先生小姐们

527
00:30:59,313 --> 00:31:02,249
最高领导人不方便回答你们的问题

528
00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:05,931
因為他正在起草瓦迪亚的新宪法

529
00:31:06,290 --> 00:31:08,014
预计三天后

530
00:31:08,369 --> 00:31:11,271
会在兰卡斯特阁楼大厅签署

531
00:31:11,345 --> 00:31:13,004
谢谢,现在不做任何回应

532
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,775
没有通行证就绝对进不了饭店

533
00:31:29,871 --> 00:31:31,279
这是不可能的

534
00:31:32,048 --> 00:31:32,647
等等

535
00:31:32,751 --> 00:31:33,580
你在干嘛?

536
00:31:33,904 --> 00:31:35,812
我在躲那蕾丝边哈比人

537
00:31:36,079 --> 00:31:37,158
你认识那个女人?

538
00:31:37,583 --> 00:31:41,359
这次能签约真是莫大荣幸

539
00:31:41,584 --> 00:31:43,722
在签署会上提供酒席和马瓜…

540
00:31:43,792 --> 00:31:45,614
这个月的房租没问题了!

541
00:31:45,839 --> 00:31:47,147
她还想雇用我

542
00:31:47,598 --> 00:31:50,282
你能想像吗?要我工作?

543
00:31:50,574 --> 00:31:52,363
通行证别掉了

544
00:31:52,431 --> 00:31:54,536
这是进饭店的唯一方法

545
00:31:54,799 --> 00:31:56,043
等一下

546
00:31:56,462 --> 00:31:58,731
她的公司承办这场大会的酒席

547
00:31:58,829 --> 00:32:00,172
她有通行证

548
00:32:00,398 --> 00:32:02,470
这就是答案,计划如下

549
00:32:02,543 --> 00:32:05,031
你要接受工作替她做事

550
00:32:05,263 --> 00:32:07,980
我会替你弄到同款的鬍子和服装

551
00:32:08,238 --> 00:32:09,448
在大会当天

552
00:32:09,582 --> 00:32:12,200
你以她员工的身分进入兰卡斯特

553
00:32:12,494 --> 00:32:14,501
找到替身,跟他交换

554
00:32:14,606 --> 00:32:16,939
然后在全世界面前撕掉宪法

555
00:32:17,293 --> 00:32:20,391
我?替那个小奶腋毛妞做事?

556
00:32:36,875 --> 00:32:37,890
金柏莉?

557
00:32:38,571 --> 00:32:39,519
柔伊

558
00:32:39,755 --> 00:32:40,770
不重要

559
00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:43,653
我来道歉

560
00:32:43,884 --> 00:32:47,111
因為我很毒舌批评了…

561
00:32:47,339 --> 00:32:49,193
虎克船长和黑鬼

562
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:52,200
太好了

563
00:32:52,459 --> 00:32:54,532
还有我接受妳的总经理职缺

564
00:32:54,795 --> 00:32:56,704
没人请你当经理,因為我才是

565
00:32:56,939 --> 00:32:58,727
杀了妳我就能当了

566
00:33:00,651 --> 00:33:02,625
我想我开始搞懂你了

567
00:33:02,859 --> 00:33:04,930
好吧,我也会搞懂妳

568
00:33:05,577 --> 00:33:07,268
太好了,快让你上工吧

569
00:33:07,658 --> 00:33:09,120
等一下

570
00:33:09,417 --> 00:33:11,805
老兄!喂!髮网男!

571
00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:15,846
我需要一些藜麦沙拉

572
00:33:16,073 --> 00:33:18,724
在上面多洒一点小红莓

573
00:33:18,952 --> 00:33:21,604
给我快点,大厨,动作快

574
00:33:24,647 --> 00:33:25,596
下一位!

575
00:33:27,431 --> 00:33:29,091
唷…有人啦!

576
00:33:29,353 --> 00:33:30,464
我要打扫

577
00:33:30,664 --> 00:33:31,613
干嘛?你弄痛我了!

578
00:33:31,689 --> 00:33:32,998
出去

579
00:33:33,288 --> 00:33:36,288
艾莉森,可以帮我倒垃圾吗?谢了

580
00:33:43,112 --> 00:33:46,275
瞧!有客人留下小费

581
00:33:46,630 --> 00:33:48,638
是除毛器和女用剃刀耶

582
00:33:48,839 --> 00:33:50,944
有人要用吗?

583
00:33:56,263 --> 00:33:57,211
别那样

584
00:33:57,958 --> 00:33:59,266
给我闭嘴,逊咖

585
00:34:05,925 --> 00:34:07,333
第四走道需要整理!

586
00:34:19,494 --> 00:34:20,988
老弟,我看到了

587
00:34:21,189 --> 00:34:23,326
这样对老闆很不尊重

588
00:34:23,589 --> 00:34:26,938
管它的,难不成你是宾拉登的麻吉?

589
00:34:27,173 --> 00:34:29,474
不,他不是我的麻吉

590
00:34:29,765 --> 00:34:31,553
但去年他的替身被杀后

591
00:34:31,685 --> 00:34:33,757
他就一直借住我的客房

592
00:34:34,212 --> 00:34:36,122
现在他赖著不走了

593
00:34:36,484 --> 00:34:38,590
我知道為何他是全世界的头号公敌

594
00:34:38,661 --> 00:34:40,667
跟著他进浴室就会瞭

595
00:34:40,995 --> 00:34:42,686
跟著宾拉登进浴室

596
00:34:42,788 --> 00:34:45,504
你就会瞭解恐怖主义的真諦了

597
00:34:49,794 --> 00:34:52,380
"找到勘察饭店的方法了"

598
00:34:55,554 --> 00:34:57,758
"纽约市直昇机观光团"

599
00:35:03,650 --> 00:35:04,894
这是我们的计划

600
00:35:04,993 --> 00:35:06,401
我们参加直昇机导览

601
00:35:06,466 --> 00:35:09,183
飞在饭店上方找出它的弱点

602
00:35:09,410 --> 00:35:12,758
记住,我们只是两个普通的观光客…

603
00:35:13,024 --> 00:35:14,934
…来欣赏风景

604
00:35:15,169 --> 00:35:17,755
没人会起疑,这是完美的计划

605
00:35:17,985 --> 00:35:19,545
别做任何会引起怀疑的事

606
00:35:19,841 --> 00:35:22,206
别担心,我是瓦迪亚的戏剧一哥

607
00:35:22,432 --> 00:35:25,018
不是谁都能赢四届瓦迪亚金球奖

608
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,452
才怪,是你颁给自己

609
00:35:27,808 --> 00:35:31,485
我在"阿喇钉魔宫传奇"裡演得很传神

610
00:35:31,743 --> 00:35:32,989
不敢茍同

611
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,839
你有看"炸弹情书"吗?

612
00:35:35,103 --> 00:35:37,492
我全看过!都是大烂片!

613
00:35:37,727 --> 00:35:40,761
听我说,你是烂演员

614
00:35:40,991 --> 00:35:44,985
我建议你,表演要内敛又真实

615
00:35:45,215 --> 00:35:46,840
好,能替我弄个披风吗?

616
00:35:46,942 --> 00:35:47,772
為什麼?

617
00:35:47,999 --> 00:35:49,787
我想我的角色会穿披风

618
00:35:50,014 --> 00:35:52,470
不,你的角色要穿美国国旗运动服

619
00:35:52,543 --> 00:35:53,852
还戴著警长徽章

620
00:35:54,079 --> 00:35:54,973
我需要这个警徽

621
00:35:55,039 --> 00:35:57,688
為什麼?你是美国鸟地方的警长!

622
00:35:58,493 --> 00:35:59,442
没礼貌

623
00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:02,100
听著,我们走过去

624
00:36:02,175 --> 00:36:04,182
行动要很低调

625
00:36:04,414 --> 00:36:05,592
-好
-很好

626
00:36:05,854 --> 00:36:07,130
当我们起飞…

627
00:36:07,357 --> 00:36:10,390
眼睛别弄成那样!你又不是中国人!

628
00:36:10,653 --> 00:36:11,865
我在扮华裔美国人!

629
00:36:12,093 --> 00:36:14,580
没人会相信你是华裔美国人

630
00:36:14,654 --> 00:36:16,889
你拉成凤眼是种族歧视!

631
00:36:17,117 --> 00:36:19,385
事实上他们不会捲舌音

632
00:36:19,453 --> 00:36:21,841
知道中国人怎麼唸"兔子"吗?

633
00:36:22,268 --> 00:36:23,610
我不会说中文

634
00:36:24,028 --> 00:36:24,726
是"赖皮"

635
00:36:24,796 --> 00:36:25,745
才不是

636
00:36:26,013 --> 00:36:28,434
"谁陷害了赖皮崽子"在中国是流行语

637
00:36:28,667 --> 00:36:30,490
我不管,这太蠢了

638
00:36:30,749 --> 00:36:32,122
好,我扮菲律宾人好了

639
00:36:32,220 --> 00:36:34,586
我喜欢工作,我喜欢说话…

640
00:36:34,812 --> 00:36:35,761
别说了

641
00:36:36,315 --> 00:36:39,130
你的菲律宾口音跟中国口音没两样

642
00:36:39,387 --> 00:36:40,948
现在是谁种族歧视了?

643
00:36:54,716 --> 00:36:56,919
我喜欢当美国人!

644
00:36:57,243 --> 00:36:59,315
叫美国第一名!

645
00:36:59,962 --> 00:37:01,588
我来自美国

646
00:37:01,819 --> 00:37:04,371
我老爸也来自美国

647
00:37:04,922 --> 00:37:08,697
我曾祖父打过神圣的美国内战

648
00:37:09,496 --> 00:37:12,017
我很自豪当美国人

649
00:37:12,089 --> 00:37:14,292
我是美国第一大烂人

650
00:37:17,785 --> 00:37:19,695
他们已经被我骗了

651
00:37:20,345 --> 00:37:23,094
王宫那裡的情形怎样?

652
00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:27,154
很好,但猜谁还赖在我的客房?

653
00:37:28,153 --> 00:37:28,981
宾拉登?

654
00:37:30,489 --> 00:37:31,732
对,宾拉登

655
00:37:31,864 --> 00:37:34,230
宾拉登每次淋浴都搞得浴室淹水

656
00:37:34,359 --> 00:37:38,102
放个踏垫有这麼难吗?宾拉登!

657
00:37:40,024 --> 00:37:42,740
记得我最爱的跑车吗?

658
00:37:42,999 --> 00:37:44,342
你是说你的保时捷?

659
00:37:44,503 --> 00:37:46,194
对,911

660
00:37:46,519 --> 00:37:48,341
911啊,那最讚了!

661
00:37:49,016 --> 00:37:52,843
有一天我在王宫附近开著我的911

662
00:37:52,981 --> 00:37:54,891
车子撞个稀烂!

663
00:37:58,998 --> 00:38:00,940
没关係,我已经订了一辆新的

664
00:38:01,174 --> 00:38:03,989
全新2012年911

665
00:38:06,359 --> 00:38:09,106
既然都来了,你应该参观一些景点

666
00:38:09,364 --> 00:38:12,048
像帝国大厦…

667
00:38:12,277 --> 00:38:14,993
还有洋基球场

668
00:38:15,156 --> 00:38:19,412
我超想看自由女神那裡的烟火秀

669
00:38:24,276 --> 00:38:26,316
你的背痛老毛病有改善吗?

670
00:38:26,484 --> 00:38:29,834
没有!痛到我去订做一个腰背护具

671
00:38:30,132 --> 00:38:30,732
真的?

672
00:38:30,804 --> 00:38:34,546
对,看我还穿著

673
00:38:36,052 --> 00:38:38,190
我的英文也越来越进步

674
00:38:38,451 --> 00:38:41,898
我打赌我从5倒数比你快!

675
00:38:42,228 --> 00:38:44,016
5、4、3、2、1!

676
00:38:49,555 --> 00:38:51,311
艾莉森,你没事吧?

677
00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:52,487
我没事

678
00:38:52,850 --> 00:38:55,533
知道吗?你们警察让我觉得噁心!

679
00:38:55,891 --> 00:38:57,678
你们看到中东人坐飞机

680
00:38:57,777 --> 00:39:00,680
就认定他心怀不轨?

681
00:39:01,010 --> 00:39:03,628
艾莉森汉堡是受迫害的异议人士

682
00:39:03,730 --> 00:39:05,136
不是杀人狂!

683
00:39:05,490 --> 00:39:08,207
据报他说"挟持兰卡斯特的警卫"

684
00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:10,824
猜怎麼著?我们在兰卡斯特办酒席

685
00:39:11,089 --> 00:39:11,688
说的好!

686
00:39:11,985 --> 00:39:14,668
或许他想带警卫去吃中东三明治

687
00:39:14,929 --> 00:39:17,547
那是刻板印象,但是说的好!

688
00:39:17,617 --> 00:39:18,762
学著点!

689
00:39:19,089 --> 00:39:21,641
尽忠职守是犯罪吗?

690
00:39:21,969 --> 00:39:23,212
对!在瓦迪亚就是

691
00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:26,630
你在哪裡接受多元文化训练的?

692
00:39:26,736 --> 00:39:27,882
德国安全部?

693
00:39:28,111 --> 00:39:31,624
瞧瞧你们对种族偏见的看法,当白人…

694
00:39:44,207 --> 00:39:45,450
我瞭我在说什麼

695
00:39:45,582 --> 00:39:47,971
我可是主修女性文学!

696
00:39:48,558 --> 00:39:49,670
我们走

697
00:39:50,991 --> 00:39:52,747
别走!你要去哪裡?

698
00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:56,204
替最大条的吹喇叭,你就没事了

699
00:39:57,742 --> 00:39:59,651
警察真的很法西斯

700
00:39:59,758 --> 00:40:00,772
对,学坏的法西斯

701
00:40:01,038 --> 00:40:02,631
快把我气死了

702
00:40:02,830 --> 00:40:05,001
柔伊,妳刚才棒呆了

703
00:40:05,231 --> 00:40:06,855
谢了,我只是…

704
00:40:07,310 --> 00:40:10,124
我只是很心疼你在世界各地

705
00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:11,783
都沦落為警察霸凌的受害者

706
00:40:12,045 --> 00:40:16,103
过来,我好心疼,你没事了

707
00:40:16,588 --> 00:40:17,418
好吗?

708
00:40:17,645 --> 00:40:19,784
我不会再让你遭遇坏事

709
00:40:20,013 --> 00:40:22,663
我们回去店裡,走吧

710
00:40:22,891 --> 00:40:24,200
等等,我还要

711
00:40:26,508 --> 00:40:27,654
走吧,我得工作

712
00:40:27,787 --> 00:40:28,486
我好难过!

713
00:40:30,188 --> 00:40:31,137
再来一次爱的抱抱

714
00:40:31,371 --> 00:40:32,996
艾莉森,你為什麼难过?

715
00:40:34,124 --> 00:40:35,367
被虐待?

716
00:40:35,659 --> 00:40:37,415
你有被性侵吗?

717
00:40:37,643 --> 00:40:40,677
有,他们以不专业的方式强暴我

718
00:40:41,804 --> 00:40:43,559
你必须去强暴中心

719
00:40:43,788 --> 00:40:45,347
你们有强暴中心?

720
00:40:45,451 --> 00:40:47,622
好耶!我想去!或许改天

721
00:40:47,851 --> 00:40:49,345
租台礼车,喝鸡尾酒

722
00:40:49,418 --> 00:40:51,077
穿我的强暴专用鞋

723
00:40:53,036 --> 00:40:54,562
"兰卡斯特"

724
00:40:54,795 --> 00:40:56,703
这如同一场地狱之旅

725
00:40:57,033 --> 00:40:59,848
看,最高领导人在会说话的图画裡

726
00:40:59,978 --> 00:41:03,872
他们的曼哈顿导览被迫中断…

727
00:41:04,105 --> 00:41:07,204
警察宣称是"误解的恐怖攻击"

728
00:41:07,530 --> 00:41:11,806
当事人叫做"锦及初口"

729
00:41:12,136 --> 00:41:13,150
小马!

730
00:41:13,384 --> 00:41:15,327
饭店附近的保全人数加倍

731
00:41:15,624 --> 00:41:17,796
签署会绝对不能被打断

732
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,364
汉娜,兰卡斯特的人明天要来

733
00:41:23,656 --> 00:41:27,038
把马瓜拿下楼,摆盘要漂亮

734
00:41:27,401 --> 00:41:29,790
我要一切都很完美

735
00:41:30,408 --> 00:41:31,357
柔伊?

736
00:41:31,433 --> 00:41:32,511
艾莉森,嗨

737
00:41:32,807 --> 00:41:35,294
為了答谢妳今天在警局拔刀相助

738
00:41:35,399 --> 00:41:37,538
我决定送妳一份礼物

739
00:41:37,895 --> 00:41:40,099
好贴心,是什麼呢?

740
00:41:47,206 --> 00:41:49,792
我不知道…你指什麼

741
00:41:50,023 --> 00:41:51,517
好康的,好康的

742
00:41:54,790 --> 00:41:55,934
不要!

743
00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:58,811
不要,我才不要

744
00:41:59,110 --> 00:42:01,499
妳一直这样,其实应该这样

745
00:42:04,710 --> 00:42:07,580
听著,我瞭解你有生理需要

746
00:42:07,909 --> 00:42:10,430
但你需要自己解决

747
00:42:10,724 --> 00:42:12,481
自己?什麼?怎麼做?

748
00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:14,171
你需要摸自己

749
00:42:14,405 --> 00:42:16,926
我才不摸自己,妳会摸自己吗?

750
00:42:17,317 --> 00:42:19,389
大部份健康的人都会

751
00:42:19,558 --> 00:42:22,851
妳会摸自己的那裡?好噁!

752
00:42:24,101 --> 00:42:27,362
别耍冷了,你没打过手枪?

753
00:42:29,253 --> 00:42:30,714
跟我来

754
00:42:30,884 --> 00:42:32,793
我们要去哪裡?去强暴中心?

755
00:42:36,739 --> 00:42:38,201
这太蠢了

756
00:42:38,498 --> 00:42:39,774
好,那麼…

757
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,009
掏出你的小弟弟,放在手心

758
00:42:43,235 --> 00:42:44,062
这太蠢了

759
00:42:46,051 --> 00:42:49,880
现在,慢慢上下移动你的手

760
00:42:51,746 --> 00:42:53,656
我早告诉妳了,这实在…

761
00:42:57,025 --> 00:42:58,171
等等

762
00:42:58,626 --> 00:43:00,698
这是什麼魔法?

763
00:43:01,058 --> 00:43:05,498
有些人等候一生,就為了…

764
00:43:06,305 --> 00:43:07,930
这一刻

765
00:43:08,225 --> 00:43:11,094
有些人等候一生

766
00:43:11,425 --> 00:43:13,978
就為了这一刻

767
00:43:14,305 --> 00:43:18,942
我不敢相信遇到这种好事

768
00:43:19,298 --> 00:43:21,980
有些人等候一生

769
00:43:22,336 --> 00:43:26,776
就為了这一刻

770
00:43:31,933 --> 00:43:36,058
我不敢相信遇到这种好事

771
00:43:37,536 --> 00:43:39,990
我成功了!我刚才射精了!

772
00:43:40,287 --> 00:43:43,582
我靠自己成功了!就用这隻手!

773
00:43:43,965 --> 00:43:46,999
我像是勒小鸟一样抓紧我的鸡鸡

774
00:43:47,294 --> 00:43:50,677
甩啊甩啊,然后就喷出来了!

775
00:43:50,975 --> 00:43:51,771
柔伊?

776
00:43:52,158 --> 00:43:54,493
柔伊,妳改变了我的人生

777
00:43:54,815 --> 00:43:58,130
打人一砲,爽个一天

778
00:43:58,365 --> 00:44:01,115
教人自摸…

779
00:44:01,341 --> 00:44:04,123
一生受用不尽

780
00:44:06,206 --> 00:44:07,515
发生什麼事?

781
00:44:07,741 --> 00:44:11,353
饭店的人打来,他们不用我们了

782
00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:12,530
什麼?為什麼?

783
00:44:12,765 --> 00:44:16,310
他说他来店裡时有人踹他儿子

784
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:19,546
他们把合约给"绿色世界"了

785
00:44:19,803 --> 00:44:22,673
我们必须抢回合约,我得去签署会

786
00:44:22,907 --> 00:44:26,169
我要怎麼说,我的员工太散漫

787
00:44:26,524 --> 00:44:28,433
缺乏纪律和动力

788
00:44:28,765 --> 00:44:30,358
交给我吧

789
00:44:30,588 --> 00:44:33,456
但从现在起,要照我的方法

790
00:44:33,659 --> 00:44:36,376
否则就#^@%$*)@($-~#!

791
00:44:38,779 --> 00:44:40,884
政权交替了!

792
00:44:41,179 --> 00:44:43,383
听好!你负责补架上存货

793
00:44:43,641 --> 00:44:45,977
你…罗马尼亚老会计

794
00:44:46,235 --> 00:44:47,828
你负责收银

795
00:44:47,995 --> 00:44:52,118
"绿色世界"的执行长不开环保车!

796
00:44:53,915 --> 00:44:55,954
"绿色世界"的化学製品…

797
00:44:56,250 --> 00:44:58,421
害这小男生长咪咪!

798
00:44:58,586 --> 00:45:01,585
"警告-扒手依法起诉"

799
00:45:01,817 --> 00:45:03,223
"扒手处以酷刑"

800
00:45:03,737 --> 00:45:05,646
你保证不再偷东西?

801
00:45:05,913 --> 00:45:07,472
不敢了!不敢了!

802
00:45:07,768 --> 00:45:09,679
太好玩了,再电他一次

803
00:45:15,864 --> 00:45:17,457
"扒手会遭劫持"

804
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,469
"男性家属会被强暴"

805
00:45:19,703 --> 00:45:20,980
"次等商家"

806
00:45:25,496 --> 00:45:27,121
"优良商家"

807
00:45:28,537 --> 00:45:29,998
很识相

808
00:45:44,054 --> 00:45:45,647
嗨,维特

809
00:46:00,950 --> 00:46:02,194
最高杂货员

810
00:46:02,486 --> 00:46:05,748
菊苣洗过和挑过了,水管也捆紧了

811
00:46:05,974 --> 00:46:09,485
很好,现在上楼完成麦草渣的堆肥

812
00:46:09,876 --> 00:46:11,306
遵命,最高杂货员

813
00:46:13,204 --> 00:46:14,448
柔伊!

814
00:46:17,045 --> 00:46:18,289
天啊!

815
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:20,140
太棒了!

816
00:46:20,372 --> 00:46:23,023
过奖了,没啥大不了

817
00:46:23,859 --> 00:46:25,616
谢啦

818
00:46:26,165 --> 00:46:26,764
歹势

819
00:46:26,868 --> 00:46:27,916
你接吧

820
00:46:28,180 --> 00:46:28,811
是私事

821
00:46:28,980 --> 00:46:30,922
谢谢,感激不尽

822
00:46:33,204 --> 00:46:35,113
我有天大好消息

823
00:46:35,733 --> 00:46:39,113
我在假髮店买到理想鬍子了

824
00:46:39,347 --> 00:46:41,354
不,纳达,一定要真的鬍子

825
00:46:41,458 --> 00:46:43,246
还要从伟人的头上剪走

826
00:46:43,570 --> 00:46:45,674
比如卡斯楚或甘道夫

827
00:46:46,962 --> 00:46:48,009
"毒梟山姆道格拉斯,享寿92岁"

828
00:46:48,082 --> 00:46:49,162
"哈林教父"

829
00:46:49,233 --> 00:46:51,689
干得好,纳达,这款鬍子太完美了

830
00:46:52,561 --> 00:46:54,023
"霍金殯仪馆礼拜堂"

831
00:46:56,690 --> 00:46:58,446
那些花好漂亮

832
00:46:58,770 --> 00:47:02,960
柔伊考虑在店裡增设环保花卉区

833
00:47:03,185 --> 00:47:06,000
你今天提到她五次了,怎麼回事?

834
00:47:06,226 --> 00:47:09,672
签署会剩两天,别说你爱上这女人

835
00:47:10,129 --> 00:47:12,714
当然没有,太蠢了

836
00:47:13,009 --> 00:47:15,727
很好,我们只要溜进礼拜堂…

837
00:47:15,985 --> 00:47:17,065
好,但很奇怪

838
00:47:17,233 --> 00:47:21,487
前几天她拒绝替我吹喇趴

839
00:47:21,776 --> 00:47:23,848
不用说,我想处死她

840
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,763
但想到她会断头我就心烦意乱

841
00:47:26,831 --> 00:47:28,357
所以我决定不要

842
00:47:28,687 --> 00:47:31,915
当你想到某人断头会心烦意乱

843
00:47:32,143 --> 00:47:33,669
那就是爱

844
00:47:33,902 --> 00:47:35,877
我发誓,我一点也不喜欢她

845
00:47:35,982 --> 00:47:36,614
你确定?

846
00:47:36,943 --> 00:47:39,529
她的身材像是国中男生

847
00:47:39,855 --> 00:47:43,366
那正是你的死穴,要我提醒你…

848
00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,450
棒棒糖事件吗?

849
00:47:45,678 --> 00:47:48,547
他们张大眼睛,知道自己在干嘛

850
00:47:48,750 --> 00:47:49,994
是我们逼他们张大眼睛

851
00:47:50,222 --> 00:47:52,261
你逼我撑开他们的眼睛

852
00:47:52,334 --> 00:47:53,992
让他们看你鸡姦他们

853
00:47:54,478 --> 00:47:56,387
他们看起来爽毙了

854
00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:58,855
才怪,那些小鬼全程在哭

855
00:47:59,213 --> 00:48:01,124
其中三个还自杀了!

856
00:48:01,359 --> 00:48:02,667
跟我无关

857
00:48:02,830 --> 00:48:03,463
全是你的错!

858
00:48:03,597 --> 00:48:07,525
他们的遗书指名说是你!

859
00:48:07,725 --> 00:48:09,929
都是谣传,你太好骗了

860
00:48:14,028 --> 00:48:14,595
过去那裡

861
00:48:14,668 --> 00:48:16,391
好,我们上

862
00:48:25,516 --> 00:48:26,312
裡面有人吗?

863
00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:28,874
纳达!南撒哈拉人发现我们了!

864
00:48:28,971 --> 00:48:30,150
-赶快!
-好啦!

865
00:48:30,284 --> 00:48:31,079
等一下!

866
00:48:31,146 --> 00:48:32,489
开门!

867
00:48:32,970 --> 00:48:34,181
快开门!

868
00:48:34,410 --> 00:48:36,832
赶快!B计划!

869
00:48:45,899 --> 00:48:47,076
你干嘛砍他的头?

870
00:48:47,179 --> 00:48:48,007
是你说B计划的!

871
00:48:48,235 --> 00:48:49,761
B计划是去喝咖啡重新佈署

872
00:48:49,866 --> 00:48:52,233
不是砍他的头!

873
00:48:59,881 --> 00:49:01,474
早安,纳达

874
00:49:02,441 --> 00:49:04,863
醒来!早安,纳达!

875
00:49:08,872 --> 00:49:09,854
把那玩意拿走!

876
00:49:10,121 --> 00:49:11,167
我和你是搭挡

877
00:49:11,624 --> 00:49:13,381
知道还有谁是绝配搭挡?

878
00:49:13,672 --> 00:49:15,877
乌木和象牙

879
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,752
在完美和谐中共处

880
00:49:18,983 --> 00:49:19,932
你发什麼神经?

881
00:49:20,008 --> 00:49:20,956
这个好笑

882
00:49:28,936 --> 00:49:30,429
快拿走!

883
00:49:31,558 --> 00:49:33,151
太诡异了

884
00:49:34,632 --> 00:49:39,236
我送妳一些角豆粉枸杞,开心享用

885
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:43,810
谢谢,真贴心,你真是个好人

886
00:49:44,390 --> 00:49:46,300
妳X妈的叫我什麼?

887
00:49:47,270 --> 00:49:49,310
我说你是好人

888
00:49:53,831 --> 00:49:56,197
艾莉森!兰卡斯特刚才打来!

889
00:49:56,294 --> 00:49:57,308
我们恢復合约了!

890
00:49:57,669 --> 00:49:59,392
太好了!随便啦!

891
00:49:59,749 --> 00:50:01,920
"绿色世界"的曼哈顿店要关门大吉了

892
00:50:02,277 --> 00:50:04,065
怎麼会呢?

893
00:50:04,549 --> 00:50:05,891
"绿色世界"

894
00:50:06,115 --> 00:50:08,026
女儿,小心那个,小心

895
00:50:08,292 --> 00:50:10,529
我们要做美味大沙拉

896
00:50:11,684 --> 00:50:13,440
庆祝的抱抱?

897
00:50:14,917 --> 00:50:15,963
做的好!

898
00:50:16,261 --> 00:50:16,893
妳好臭

899
00:50:16,965 --> 00:50:17,598
我知道

900
00:50:17,861 --> 00:50:18,808
救命!

901
00:50:19,043 --> 00:50:21,182
谁来帮忙!我老婆快生了!

902
00:50:21,509 --> 00:50:23,035
我的天啊

903
00:50:23,204 --> 00:50:25,757
救护车还要20分鐘,妳撑得住吗?

904
00:50:25,988 --> 00:50:27,613
不行!要出来了!

905
00:50:27,843 --> 00:50:28,792
要出来了!

906
00:50:29,028 --> 00:50:31,613
谁有医护经验吗?

907
00:50:31,843 --> 00:50:35,323
我就任瓦迪亚卫生署长22年了

908
00:50:35,587 --> 00:50:37,310
拜託帮我们,拜託

909
00:50:37,571 --> 00:50:39,481
艾莉森,他们需要你

910
00:50:40,099 --> 00:50:41,048
来吧

911
00:50:43,938 --> 00:50:45,345
你在干嘛?

912
00:50:45,634 --> 00:50:46,975
歹势,积习难改

913
00:50:47,362 --> 00:50:48,988
好,我要进去了

914
00:50:50,851 --> 00:50:51,798
不是那个洞!

915
00:50:52,098 --> 00:50:53,724
你的手伸错洞了

916
00:50:53,953 --> 00:50:56,506
这句话我听上千遍了

917
00:50:57,409 --> 00:50:58,303
拿出来

918
00:50:58,977 --> 00:51:00,286
再伸进去

919
00:51:01,088 --> 00:51:02,584
那还是我的屁眼!

920
00:51:02,817 --> 00:51:04,279
你有毛病吗?

921
00:51:04,353 --> 00:51:05,696
你又伸进我屁眼了!

922
00:51:05,984 --> 00:51:07,391
上面那个洞才对

923
00:51:07,969 --> 00:51:10,456
好消息是妳的前列腺很健康

924
00:51:11,296 --> 00:51:12,541
很好啊

925
00:51:13,217 --> 00:51:14,679
再进去一次

926
00:51:18,111 --> 00:51:19,257
等一下

927
00:51:21,633 --> 00:51:23,487
"纳达来讯,你在干嘛?"

928
00:51:23,712 --> 00:51:25,304
艾莉森,你需要两隻手接生!

929
00:51:25,567 --> 00:51:26,648
可是我还没打完简讯

930
00:51:26,944 --> 00:51:28,285
要出来了!

931
00:51:33,439 --> 00:51:34,812
音乐哪裡来的?

932
00:51:39,838 --> 00:51:41,746
歹势,我得接电话

933
00:51:41,981 --> 00:51:43,291
我的身体裡有支电话?

934
00:51:43,518 --> 00:51:44,281
你在干嘛?

935
00:51:44,381 --> 00:51:46,237
我在林肯隧道

936
00:51:46,494 --> 00:51:48,699
什麼?我们需要谈一下

937
00:51:49,054 --> 00:51:50,942
喂,纳达,我不方便说话

938
00:51:51,007 --> 00:51:52,435
待会再聊,掰!

939
00:51:52,735 --> 00:51:55,155
别再对著我的鲍鱼说话!

940
00:51:55,901 --> 00:51:58,422
宝宝卡住了,手伸进去帮我

941
00:51:58,781 --> 00:52:01,651
快点!伸进去!别害怕

942
00:52:01,886 --> 00:52:02,998
抱歉

943
00:52:03,228 --> 00:52:04,636
我的天啊,我的天啊

944
00:52:04,735 --> 00:52:05,563
推进去

945
00:52:06,173 --> 00:52:08,082
我好像摸到一隻小手

946
00:52:08,797 --> 00:52:09,745
那是我的手指

947
00:52:22,651 --> 00:52:24,888
打个岔,你们真的很速配

948
00:52:25,115 --> 00:52:28,661
但等手离开我下体后再打啵唄!

949
00:52:28,988 --> 00:52:31,092
好,艾莉森,你找到头了?

950
00:52:31,355 --> 00:52:34,105
我找到头了,好,用力!

951
00:52:36,475 --> 00:52:39,191
反抗军基地在哪裡…?

952
00:52:39,514 --> 00:52:41,042
歹势,歹势

953
00:52:41,275 --> 00:52:44,143
等等,我看到头了!我看到头了!

954
00:52:49,658 --> 00:52:51,960
你成功了!你成功了!

955
00:52:59,833 --> 00:53:01,109
我宣判你…

956
00:53:01,433 --> 00:53:02,895
免於一死

957
00:53:05,272 --> 00:53:06,352
脐带还没剪!

958
00:53:06,552 --> 00:53:07,446
歹势

959
00:53:08,472 --> 00:53:09,071
怎麼了?

960
00:53:09,144 --> 00:53:09,744
很遗憾

961
00:53:10,009 --> 00:53:11,535
坏消息

962
00:53:11,769 --> 00:53:12,782
是女生

963
00:53:14,906 --> 00:53:16,367
垃圾桶在哪裡?

964
00:53:16,729 --> 00:53:17,971
不,不,我们就想要女生!

965
00:53:18,328 --> 00:53:19,734
我来抱她,我来抱她

966
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,957
你刚才真了不起

967
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,254
你救了一个小生命

968
00:53:39,063 --> 00:53:40,438
跟妳打啵感觉真好

969
00:53:40,664 --> 00:53:41,872
我有同感

970
00:53:42,101 --> 00:53:43,532
我喜欢抱抱

971
00:53:43,926 --> 00:53:45,553
我刚才射了

972
00:53:48,437 --> 00:53:49,845
无所谓

973
00:53:51,158 --> 00:53:52,271
躺下

974
00:53:53,142 --> 00:53:54,832
妳一定会神魂颠倒

975
00:53:55,062 --> 00:53:56,337
好!

976
00:54:08,884 --> 00:54:11,306
15分鐘后见

977
00:54:13,301 --> 00:54:14,249
好

978
00:54:22,996 --> 00:54:24,239
等等,等等

979
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:25,872
等等

980
00:54:28,084 --> 00:54:30,155
艾莉森,在我们更进一步之前

981
00:54:30,740 --> 00:54:32,747
我想告诉你一件事

982
00:54:32,979 --> 00:54:35,466
妳有鸡鸡,我就知道

983
00:54:36,209 --> 00:54:38,250
艾莉森,我没有鸡鸡

984
00:54:38,451 --> 00:54:39,661
太好了

985
00:54:39,954 --> 00:54:41,862
我要告诉你的是…

986
00:54:42,194 --> 00:54:45,228
我真的想跟你在一起,艾莉森汉堡

987
00:54:46,033 --> 00:54:47,212
柔伊

988
00:54:48,946 --> 00:54:50,920
我其实不叫艾莉森汉堡

989
00:54:51,986 --> 00:54:54,538
人家其实叫我…

990
00:54:55,505 --> 00:54:57,415
…元帅大将军…

991
00:54:58,130 --> 00:54:59,307
阿喇钉

992
00:55:03,538 --> 00:55:05,609
不,你的真名是什麼?

993
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:07,498
这会说服妳

994
00:55:09,265 --> 00:55:10,213
是我!

995
00:55:11,345 --> 00:55:14,412
武器督察员会浴血而死!

996
00:55:15,568 --> 00:55:16,812
那是你的鬍子?

997
00:55:17,008 --> 00:55:18,830
不是,这不是我的鬍子

998
00:55:18,897 --> 00:55:21,002
我朋友砍掉摩根佛里曼的头

999
00:55:21,553 --> 00:55:22,796
你是杀人犯!

1000
00:55:23,151 --> 00:55:24,711
不是!柔伊!

1001
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:28,138
你只是利用我进入那间饭店

1002
00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:29,315
不对

1003
00:55:29,582 --> 00:55:33,063
柔伊,妳X妈的煞到我了

1004
00:55:33,519 --> 00:55:35,428
我的天啊

1005
00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:38,441
我明天要取消那个合约!

1006
00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:40,808
不,柔伊!我做错什麼?

1007
00:55:41,037 --> 00:55:45,162
你骗我!又是战争犯罪通缉犯!

1008
00:55:45,455 --> 00:55:46,949
那种罪名只是呼咙人

1009
00:55:47,535 --> 00:55:49,193
你必须马上离开

1010
00:55:50,509 --> 00:55:51,688
好吧

1011
00:55:53,454 --> 00:55:54,763
我会走

1012
00:56:15,852 --> 00:56:18,088
随著明天的宪法签署

1013
00:56:18,187 --> 00:56:20,457
瓦迪亚的民主即将开始

1014
00:56:20,715 --> 00:56:22,952
人民在街上庆祝

1015
00:56:23,179 --> 00:56:25,088
杀掉阿喇钉,杀掉阿喇钉!

1016
00:56:25,291 --> 00:56:27,047
杀掉阿喇钉,杀掉阿喇钉!

1017
00:56:27,180 --> 00:56:30,027
突发新闻
专政结束

1018
00:56:33,771 --> 00:56:36,073
杀掉阿喇钉,杀掉阿喇钉!

1019
00:56:51,626 --> 00:56:52,357
再见!

1020
00:56:52,426 --> 00:56:53,188
别跳!等等!

1021
00:56:53,385 --> 00:56:54,662
你在干嘛?

1022
00:56:57,385 --> 00:56:58,946
我要处死自己

1023
00:56:59,305 --> 00:57:00,581
為什麼?

1024
00:57:00,712 --> 00:57:02,239
因為没人爱过我

1025
00:57:02,569 --> 00:57:04,261
令尊会以你為耻

1026
00:57:04,423 --> 00:57:06,977
我发觉我不想变成我老爸!

1027
00:57:07,207 --> 00:57:09,477
事实上我不想再当独裁者了!

1028
00:57:09,736 --> 00:57:10,849
什麼?

1029
00:57:11,081 --> 00:57:12,607
我经歷了一场心灵之旅

1030
00:57:12,712 --> 00:57:13,727
就像"享受吧!一个人的旅行"

1031
00:57:14,985 --> 00:57:16,576
你是头壳坏掉吗?

1032
00:57:16,774 --> 00:57:20,158
我现在明白表面上我是个混蛋

1033
00:57:20,744 --> 00:57:23,297
但内心深处…我是好人

1034
00:57:23,527 --> 00:57:24,127
少来了

1035
00:57:24,232 --> 00:57:25,662
没错,我就像是马瓜

1036
00:57:25,991 --> 00:57:30,049
外表又硬又刺,但内馅又软又绵

1037
00:57:30,279 --> 00:57:33,475
你根本不像马瓜,你像洋葱

1038
00:57:33,735 --> 00:57:35,645
混蛋的外层

1039
00:57:35,911 --> 00:57:39,806
剥开后,裡面还有十层混蛋

1040
00:57:41,798 --> 00:57:43,074
你是猪头!

1041
00:57:43,334 --> 00:57:44,644
你干嘛说犹太语?

1042
00:57:44,935 --> 00:57:45,633
随口学到的

1043
00:57:45,894 --> 00:57:48,130
啥米?谁会随口学犹太语?

1044
00:57:48,390 --> 00:57:49,470
我在纽约耶

1045
00:57:49,574 --> 00:57:51,679
我们正想消灭那个国家耶!

1046
00:57:51,974 --> 00:57:53,468
我不喜欢犹太人

1047
00:57:53,573 --> 00:57:55,677
但犹太话听起来很对味

1048
00:57:55,909 --> 00:57:59,074
歹势,你是邀请我观礼你受洗吗?

1049
00:58:00,549 --> 00:58:02,272
你太超过了喔

1050
00:58:02,533 --> 00:58:04,704
当好人哪裡好了?

1051
00:58:04,932 --> 00:58:08,228
你想跳桥自杀耶?还穿布希鞋?

1052
00:58:08,837 --> 00:58:10,146
布希鞋有什麼不好?

1053
00:58:10,372 --> 00:58:13,089
那是公认没有用的男人才会穿的鞋!

1054
00:58:14,212 --> 00:58:18,041
你不如这辈子都穿运动裤去嗑汉堡!

1055
00:58:19,011 --> 00:58:20,768
我承认我看起来很可笑

1056
00:58:21,028 --> 00:58:24,192
对,就算下来不是為了你自己

1057
00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:25,819
好歹為了你的国家

1058
00:58:26,115 --> 00:58:27,775
如果新宪法签定…

1059
00:58:27,844 --> 00:58:30,909
就会有狗仔队、女驾驶、民权!

1060
00:58:31,203 --> 00:58:32,218
什麼是"民权"?

1061
00:58:32,451 --> 00:58:34,654
待会告诉你,超好笑的

1062
00:58:35,329 --> 00:58:38,363
只有你能阻止这些鸟事发生

1063
00:58:38,690 --> 00:58:41,210
你是最后的伟大独裁者!

1064
00:58:41,569 --> 00:58:43,675
所有其他人都垮台了!格达费

1065
00:58:43,969 --> 00:58:46,206
海珊、金正日、钱尼

1066
00:58:48,226 --> 00:58:49,632
你说的对,纳达

1067
00:58:50,049 --> 00:58:52,023
我会成為史上最伟大的独裁者

1068
00:58:52,129 --> 00:58:54,039
全世界羡慕的狂人!

1069
00:58:54,306 --> 00:58:55,582
对,最高领导人!

1070
00:58:55,873 --> 00:58:58,907
从北韩的山顶到辛巴威的丛林

1071
00:58:59,169 --> 00:59:03,098
让每个童工和血汗工人高唱…

1072
00:59:03,394 --> 00:59:05,978
"压迫到底!压迫到底!"

1073
00:59:06,273 --> 00:59:09,469
"感谢阿喇钉,我想被压迫到底!"

1074
00:59:10,208 --> 00:59:11,550
不…你要干嘛?

1075
00:59:11,616 --> 00:59:12,565
别紧张嘛

1076
00:59:12,865 --> 00:59:13,847
就像拉单槓

1077
00:59:14,209 --> 00:59:15,354
你知道怎麼拉单槓吧?

1078
00:59:15,618 --> 00:59:16,960
那是我发明的

1079
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,516
各位观眾,我们在兰卡斯特饭店

1080
00:59:23,615 --> 00:59:25,307
20分鐘后…

1081
00:59:25,535 --> 00:59:29,048
阿喇钉上将签署新瓦迪亚宪法

1082
00:59:29,279 --> 00:59:31,450
各国的代表…

1083
00:59:31,647 --> 00:59:34,811
也来见证民主的诞生

1084
00:59:35,038 --> 00:59:38,422
这将改变整个区域的政治版图

1085
00:59:38,655 --> 00:59:41,523
随著瓦迪亚民主化,北非也应会跟进

1086
00:59:48,350 --> 00:59:52,407
艾德华诺顿,跟维果莫天森说我哈他

1087
00:59:54,108 --> 00:59:56,149
你们要怎麼说"大势已定"?

1088
00:59:56,414 --> 00:59:58,170
各位,泰米

1089
00:59:58,590 --> 01:00:00,565
容我介绍我的娇妻

1090
01:00:01,118 --> 01:00:03,191
刘夫人,十分荣幸

1091
01:00:03,549 --> 01:00:05,621
不用,她不懂英文

1092
01:00:06,014 --> 01:00:06,961
看好了

1093
01:00:07,549 --> 01:00:09,076
妳这丑婆娘!

1094
01:00:09,692 --> 01:00:10,707
她听不懂

1095
01:00:12,028 --> 01:00:15,346
看吧?她老是点头,再来

1096
01:00:15,867 --> 01:00:17,428
恐龙妹

1097
01:00:31,963 --> 01:00:34,832
你打算让我悬空过去兰卡斯特?

1098
01:00:35,099 --> 01:00:36,081
没错

1099
01:00:36,187 --> 01:00:36,786
你这哪来的?

1100
01:00:36,923 --> 01:00:37,621
我做的

1101
01:00:37,915 --> 01:00:40,052
我原本要刺杀你

1102
01:00:40,442 --> 01:00:41,456
你是指我的替身

1103
01:00:44,059 --> 01:00:45,651
对啊

1104
01:00:53,722 --> 01:00:54,670
好了!

1105
01:00:57,593 --> 01:00:58,542
水啦!

1106
01:00:58,809 --> 01:01:00,785
你滑过去

1107
01:01:01,144 --> 01:01:02,257
杀掉替身

1108
01:01:02,328 --> 01:01:04,979
然后在全世界媒体面前撕掉宪法

1109
01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:06,156
小事一桩

1110
01:01:20,024 --> 01:01:22,294
你好,兰卡斯特!

1111
01:01:30,583 --> 01:01:34,032
我搞不懂,我的计算很精準啊

1112
01:01:34,615 --> 01:01:36,525
你减轻重量就行得通

1113
01:01:36,632 --> 01:01:38,257
你口袋裡有东西吗?

1114
01:01:38,615 --> 01:01:39,891
我检查一下

1115
01:01:42,773 --> 01:01:43,919
那是什麼?

1116
01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:45,331
椰子水

1117
01:01:45,718 --> 01:01:47,310
你干嘛带著椰子水?

1118
01:01:47,573 --> 01:01:49,962
因為椰子的钾含量是香蕉的三倍

1119
01:01:50,197 --> 01:01:53,971
还是太重,你身上还有多餘的东西吗?

1120
01:01:56,052 --> 01:01:58,257
太扯了,那你干嘛还带三根香蕉?

1121
01:01:58,549 --> 01:02:02,094
我不相信广告,我天生多疑

1122
01:02:02,613 --> 01:02:05,264
还能扔掉什麼?你还是太重

1123
01:02:05,460 --> 01:02:06,409
只剩这个

1124
01:02:08,020 --> 01:02:09,264
那是砖头吗?

1125
01:02:09,556 --> 01:02:11,465
你干嘛带著砖头?

1126
01:02:11,700 --> 01:02:13,489
為了平衡另一边的重量

1127
01:02:13,716 --> 01:02:14,666
你带著两块砖头?

1128
01:02:14,933 --> 01:02:15,629
对!

1129
01:02:15,700 --> 01:02:17,391
马上扔下去!

1130
01:02:21,813 --> 01:02:24,114
欧麦尬!羊在吃绳子!

1131
01:02:26,995 --> 01:02:28,751
你得马上减轻重量

1132
01:02:28,980 --> 01:02:31,565
口袋清空了,我还可以大便

1133
01:02:31,796 --> 01:02:33,485
那不会差多少

1134
01:02:33,683 --> 01:02:36,017
差很大,我离开瓦迪亚后就没大便

1135
01:02:36,082 --> 01:02:38,571
失去权力害我严重便秘

1136
01:02:39,024 --> 01:02:39,974
赶快!

1137
01:02:40,210 --> 01:02:42,414
快点,最高领导人!大下去!

1138
01:02:43,889 --> 01:02:46,127
出来了!还是尖头的!

1139
01:02:47,153 --> 01:02:48,463
阻止那个人!

1140
01:03:18,780 --> 01:03:20,536
最高领导人!

1141
01:03:23,516 --> 01:03:25,720
快闪人,免得泰米杀了你

1142
01:03:26,460 --> 01:03:27,408
谁是泰米?

1143
01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:31,928
那个光头混蛋,他把我们害得超惨

1144
01:03:32,604 --> 01:03:34,229
我以為他叫做丹尼斯

1145
01:03:35,485 --> 01:03:39,990
泰米记成丹尼斯?差太多了吧

1146
01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:42,713
快出去!

1147
01:03:42,779 --> 01:03:43,510
过来,羊儿

1148
01:03:43,674 --> 01:03:44,437
快点!

1149
01:03:47,515 --> 01:03:49,653
快跳,不远

1150
01:03:50,043 --> 01:03:51,186
阿法瓦

1151
01:03:51,514 --> 01:03:53,139
时间差不多了

1152
01:03:55,643 --> 01:03:57,911
我喜欢羊咩咩

1153
01:03:59,034 --> 01:04:01,555
我笨死了

1154
01:04:03,161 --> 01:04:04,592
这是歷史性的一刻

1155
01:04:05,529 --> 01:04:08,050
瓦迪亚的元帅大将军阿喇钉

1156
01:04:08,282 --> 01:04:10,037
即将签署…

1157
01:04:10,329 --> 01:04:13,198
该国史上第一份民主宪法

1158
01:04:13,433 --> 01:04:17,108
世界各地,人们都盯著电视

1159
01:04:17,432 --> 01:04:22,222
瓦迪亚人民在庆祝国家的新开始

1160
01:04:23,192 --> 01:04:26,062
距离他签署第一份民主宪法…

1161
01:04:26,297 --> 01:04:28,368
只剩几分鐘

1162
01:04:28,952 --> 01:04:31,766
那是泰米马法,阿喇钉的亲信顾问

1163
01:04:31,864 --> 01:04:33,588
跟中国商人刘向

1164
01:04:33,815 --> 01:04:34,764
分享这一刻

1165
01:04:35,001 --> 01:04:36,691
你想他们在说什麼?

1166
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:39,505
他们好像在说"哈维凯托"

1167
01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:43,604
真是耐人寻味

1168
01:04:43,991 --> 01:04:46,097
或许他们一起吃过热狗?

1169
01:04:46,422 --> 01:04:50,512
有道理,他正在擦脸上和胸前的芥末

1170
01:04:50,838 --> 01:04:51,853
借过!

1171
01:04:52,086 --> 01:04:55,053
你得让我进去,他想要阻止签署

1172
01:04:55,286 --> 01:04:56,627
泰米要说话了

1173
01:04:56,822 --> 01:04:57,682
今天

1174
01:04:58,230 --> 01:05:00,084
我们开啟新的时代

1175
01:05:00,341 --> 01:05:01,454
瓦迪亚…

1176
01:05:01,686 --> 01:05:03,375
将会拥抱世界

1177
01:05:03,604 --> 01:05:05,065
拥抱未来

1178
01:05:05,268 --> 01:05:06,513
拥抱商机

1179
01:05:07,829 --> 01:05:11,212
可以签署文件了,最高领导人

1180
01:05:19,509 --> 01:05:22,193
你在干嘛?他是冒充者!

1181
01:05:22,548 --> 01:05:26,029
这个叛徒想杀我,还刮了我的鬍子!

1182
01:05:26,547 --> 01:05:27,628
你们看!

1183
01:05:28,755 --> 01:05:31,092
逮捕奸臣泰米!

1184
01:05:31,251 --> 01:05:32,713
现在又出现…

1185
01:05:32,980 --> 01:05:34,224
戏剧性的转折

1186
01:05:34,292 --> 01:05:36,397
泰米马法被带走了

1187
01:05:36,595 --> 01:05:38,864
这份宪法…

1188
01:05:39,091 --> 01:05:41,808
只是石油公司和国外利益的许可证

1189
01:05:42,035 --> 01:05:44,271
為了保护我所爱的瓦迪亚

1190
01:05:45,075 --> 01:05:48,458
瓦迪亚会维持独裁!

1191
01:05:57,969 --> 01:05:59,246
安静

1192
01:05:59,475 --> 01:06:02,343
你们干嘛这麼反对独裁者?

1193
01:06:02,705 --> 01:06:05,389
想像如果美国是独裁国家

1194
01:06:05,745 --> 01:06:09,803
你们就能让百分之1的人拥有全国财產

1195
01:06:10,033 --> 01:06:13,864
你们就能帮助有钱的朋友减更多的税

1196
01:06:14,224 --> 01:06:17,324
你们就能把纳税人的钱拿去补贴他们

1197
01:06:17,553 --> 01:06:21,546
你们就能不顾穷人的医疗和教育需求

1198
01:06:21,905 --> 01:06:23,466
你们的媒体就能表面上自由…

1199
01:06:23,825 --> 01:06:27,469
私底下却由一人和他的家族所控制

1200
01:06:27,823 --> 01:06:31,501
还可以窃听电话,拷打外国囚犯

1201
01:06:31,824 --> 01:06:33,732
你们也能操纵选举

1202
01:06:34,032 --> 01:06:36,039
还可以為出兵的理由撒谎

1203
01:06:36,463 --> 01:06:38,023
你们能逮捕特定族群

1204
01:06:38,382 --> 01:06:40,106
全部关进大牢

1205
01:06:40,175 --> 01:06:41,800
没有人会抱怨!

1206
01:06:42,127 --> 01:06:45,257
你们能利用媒体恫吓人民…

1207
01:06:45,551 --> 01:06:49,163
逼他们支持危害自身利益的政策

1208
01:06:49,391 --> 01:06:52,359
我知道你们美国人很难想像

1209
01:06:52,685 --> 01:06:54,279
不过请试试

1210
01:06:54,606 --> 01:06:56,679
让我告诉你们何谓民主!

1211
01:06:57,007 --> 01:06:58,916
民主烂透了!

1212
01:06:59,150 --> 01:07:02,018
无止尽的碎碎唸又要听一堆蠢意见

1213
01:07:02,380 --> 01:07:04,291
还要什麼全民公投…

1214
01:07:04,589 --> 01:07:07,973
无论是残废、黑人或女性

1215
01:07:08,526 --> 01:07:10,216
民主…

1216
01:07:16,206 --> 01:07:17,514
民主…

1217
01:07:18,924 --> 01:07:22,754
是不刮腋毛,需要减肥

1218
01:07:23,883 --> 01:07:27,113
民主看起来像化疗戴假髮的侏儒

1219
01:07:28,107 --> 01:07:30,790
民主会因為心情好打啵

1220
01:07:31,051 --> 01:07:34,248
而不是因為老爸乳头贴著电极…

1221
01:07:34,476 --> 01:07:36,744
被绑在电炉上

1222
01:07:37,195 --> 01:07:41,701
民主有缺陷!她不是完美的!

1223
01:07:41,995 --> 01:07:43,904
可是民主…

1224
01:07:46,955 --> 01:07:47,970
我爱妳

1225
01:07:48,875 --> 01:07:51,908
所以我才呼吁真正的民主!

1226
01:07:52,266 --> 01:07:53,990
真正的宪法!

1227
01:07:54,251 --> 01:07:55,811
瓦迪亚的真正选择!

1228
01:08:01,993 --> 01:08:03,903
不会吧!

1229
01:08:04,873 --> 01:08:06,150
太瞎了!

1230
01:08:12,808 --> 01:08:15,677
民主,我要娶妳当小老婆

1231
01:08:16,648 --> 01:08:18,982
好啦,只妳一个,我们会表决

1232
01:08:19,432 --> 01:08:21,439
我会為你刮腋毛

1233
01:08:21,673 --> 01:08:23,460
讚美上帝

1234
01:08:23,817 --> 01:08:25,954
还有别再用有机除臭剂了

1235
01:08:26,054 --> 01:08:28,259
妳能用体臭毒死库德人

1236
01:08:54,119 --> 01:08:56,027
你為了保护我而死,阿法瓦

1237
01:08:56,676 --> 01:08:57,626
照过来!

1238
01:08:57,958 --> 01:08:58,907
你没死?

1239
01:08:59,141 --> 01:09:01,955
当然,我的任务就是当枪靶

1240
01:09:05,413 --> 01:09:06,427
他没事吧?

1241
01:09:06,501 --> 01:09:07,329
他很好

1242
01:09:07,461 --> 01:09:09,883
幸好子弹打到他的头

1243
01:09:11,621 --> 01:09:12,931
那麼…

1244
01:09:14,051 --> 01:09:15,067
接下来呢?

1245
01:09:15,301 --> 01:09:18,596
我回去瓦迪亚举行公平选举

1246
01:09:20,293 --> 01:09:23,162
"一年后"

1247
01:09:25,189 --> 01:09:28,352
"早安,瓦迪亚"

1248
01:09:30,085 --> 01:09:33,346
来回顾去年的美好事件吧

1249
01:09:33,572 --> 01:09:36,441
在瓦迪亚的首次自由选举后

1250
01:09:36,708 --> 01:09:39,522
总统首相元帅大将军阿喇钉…

1251
01:09:39,747 --> 01:09:41,985
赢得百分之98.8的选票

1252
01:09:44,003 --> 01:09:47,384
但今天的大事是总统首相元帅大将军…

1253
01:09:47,683 --> 01:09:51,512
阿喇钉与他妻子柔伊的婚礼

1254
01:09:55,265 --> 01:09:57,818
我现在宣佈你们结為夫妻

1255
01:10:07,073 --> 01:10:09,627
亲爱的,还好吧?妳在踩什麼?

1256
01:10:10,273 --> 01:10:11,865
是我同胞的传统

1257
01:10:11,969 --> 01:10:13,943
我们婚礼时一向会踩破玻璃

1258
01:10:14,145 --> 01:10:15,421
我是犹太人!

1259
01:10:16,192 --> 01:10:17,437
好运到!

1260
01:10:22,113 --> 01:10:23,127
你没事吧?

1261
01:10:24,032 --> 01:10:26,749
安啦,我不介意,太好了

1262
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:28,825
过来,亲爱的

1263
01:10:47,647 --> 01:10:49,271
欢迎,总统首相

1264
01:10:49,629 --> 01:10:52,498
你好,我一小时后要回王宫

1265
01:10:52,830 --> 01:10:54,968
柔伊以為我在上瑜珈课

1266
01:10:55,390 --> 01:10:58,870
好消息,再过几天我们就能测试新飞弹

1267
01:10:59,229 --> 01:11:02,545
我重新设计有效载荷系统

1268
01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:07,321
但好事相报,飞弹变尖头了

1269
01:11:08,220 --> 01:11:10,131
谁在乎尖不尖头

1270
01:11:10,430 --> 01:11:11,379
啥米?

1271
01:11:11,902 --> 01:11:13,810
你很在乎尖不尖头啊

1272
01:11:14,044 --> 01:11:15,800
我干嘛在乎这种蒜皮小事?

1273
01:11:16,060 --> 01:11:17,816
真的假的?

1274
01:11:18,045 --> 01:11:19,419
当然是真的

1275
01:11:19,516 --> 01:11:20,595
你还因為圆头处决我耶!

1276
01:11:20,859 --> 01:11:23,794
弹头形状跟有效载荷无关

1277
01:11:24,028 --> 01:11:25,937
那是我说的!我先说的!

1278
01:11:26,235 --> 01:11:28,406
不,是我说的,你秀逗了

1279
01:11:31,996 --> 01:11:35,159
我们会设立三百间妇女中心

1280
01:11:35,484 --> 01:11:39,312
但我要休息一阵子,因為…

1281
01:11:39,674 --> 01:11:40,919
我怀孕了

1282
01:11:41,148 --> 01:11:42,259
什麼?

1283
01:11:45,722 --> 01:11:46,803
妳会生男生…

1284
01:11:46,874 --> 01:11:48,598
还是要堕胎?

1285
01:12:10,841 --> 01:12:13,327
你们是往生者的亲友吗?

1286
01:12:13,559 --> 01:12:15,796
你要我在他遗孀面前爆料吗?

1287
01:12:16,152 --> 01:12:17,297
我是他的爱人

1288
01:12:17,369 --> 01:12:18,862
不,不可能

1289
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:21,069
我看到他跟哈林篮球队一起表演

1290
01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:23,309
我觉得他很屌,我跟他交朋友

1291
01:12:23,672 --> 01:12:25,743
不,那是不同的人

1292
01:12:25,879 --> 01:12:28,115
他的教诲"别担心,要快乐"…

1293
01:12:28,472 --> 01:12:30,195
很有影响力

1294
01:12:30,391 --> 01:12:32,463
不,那是巴比麦菲林,我说过了

1295
01:12:32,695 --> 01:12:34,517
无论你经歷过什麼丑闻

1296
01:12:34,679 --> 01:12:36,587
你仍是世界第一的高尔夫选手

1297
01:12:36,887 --> 01:12:37,836
走吧

1298
01:12:38,135 --> 01:12:40,524
来彩排吧,角色扮演

1299
01:12:40,664 --> 01:12:43,631
那麼总书记,你的士兵会哭…

1300
01:12:45,239 --> 01:12:46,416
我很抱歉!

1301
01:12:46,583 --> 01:12:48,046
不是我的错

1302
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:50,417
有人把保险栓设成…

1303
01:12:50,775 --> 01:12:52,684
"阿喇钉",不是"阿喇钉"

1304
01:12:52,918 --> 01:12:53,812
我是说…

1305
01:12:57,301 --> 01:12:58,479
柔伊

1306
01:12:59,766 --> 01:13:02,318
讚啦!这个头好!

1307
01:13:04,180 --> 01:13:06,090
这就叫做报復,感觉真爽!

1308
01:13:06,261 --> 01:13:08,399
你感觉怎样?

1309
01:13:08,565 --> 01:13:10,224
我寧愿跟羊嘿咻

1310
01:13:10,740 --> 01:13:12,301
最高领导人在哪裡?

1311
01:13:13,364 --> 01:13:15,753
这才叫做报復!

1312
01:13:16,085 --> 01:13:17,458
好样的

1313
01:13:23,380 --> 01:13:25,288
别碰,别碰

1314
01:13:25,747 --> 01:13:27,056
你不必碰

1315
01:13:27,219 --> 01:13:28,332
抱歉

1316
01:13:28,469 --> 01:13:29,930
给我…不用了…

1317
01:13:30,259 --> 01:13:33,042
给我一滴滴的空间

1318
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:44,709
★★☆剧终☆★★
中文字幕独家制作:法兰克彼得生
谢谢观看