[big bang]
[Unknown Narrator] The universe.
This universe is 16 billion years old.
In those early days,
the conflict between stability and change,
between stagnation and anarchy,
sparked beings of pure energy.
Great Lords of Order
and puissant Lords of Chaos.
Entrusted to maintain
the sacred balance between opposing forces.
As the loss of said balance
once heralded the destruction of the old universe.
There is no moral judgment here.
No conflict between good and evil.
Unless good is the balance itself
and evil is that balance's undoing.
[theme music playing]
[Zatanna chanting spell]
[Trogowogs giggling maniacally]
[grunts]
Got one!
-[Trogowog giggling maniacally] -[Thirteen] Khalid!
[chanting spell]
[Trogowog screams]
- Ha! Two points. Mary! -[Trogowog screaming]
No worries.
Speed of Mercury!
[screaming]
[groans]
Ha!
-[Leroy chirps] - Ow! Quit it.
Oh. Thanks, Leroy. Three more incoming.
-[chanting spell] -[Trogowog screams and groans]
[chanting spell]
[grunts]
[Trogowog giggling maniacally]
Strength of Hercules!
[grunts]
[groans]
[Thirteen] Mary, you crushed that magic.
You too, Khaleed.
Um, actually, I prefer [pronouncing from throat] "Khalid."
Like in the back of the throat.
- Khalid? - Khalid?
Mmm, pretty close.
[Zatanna] Speaking of pretty close,
catching six Trogowogs isn't bad, but...
[chanting spell]
[Trogowogs chittering]
[Zatanna] You're all becoming great sentinels of magic,
but you need to maintain a better awareness of your surroundings.
Aw, man, we flunked.
No, no, more like a... a B-minus.
[chanting spell]
[Trogowogs laugh maniacally]
[chanting spell]
[Trogowogs groaning]
There. The Trogs are home.
Now for the glamour spell that's been hiding us all.
[chanting spell]
Oh. Sorry. Didn't see you there.
No harm done.
Traci, you're still relying too much on your bad-luck powers.
I want you to focus more on your urban magic
until it comes to you as easily.
Khalid, fix what you bend or break.
[chanting spell]
It's important to balance the natural and magical worlds.
Plus, the tree will thank you.
So would that swollen Trogowog.
Ugh. I totally forgot to fix him.
No worries. Trogs are pretty elastic.
He'll belch it out soon enough.
Huh, that I'd like to see.
And Mary, you're still thinking too much like a superhero,
which is understandable given your history.
But magic isn't just about giving or getting meta abilities.
Use your imagination when you tap into the Earth's ley lines,
or other sources of mystic power.
Spread your wings.
Oh, come on now,
don't let a little constructive criticism get you down.
You're all doing great. In fact...
In fact, you are my best students.
[scoffs] We're your only students.
And still the best.
-[all groaning softly] -[Khalid] What was that?
I don't know.
[bell tolling]
[groans softly]
[Zviad Baazovi] The situation in Markovia couldn't be better.
Another clutch of meta-humans arrives each day.
In addition, Ultra-Humanite and Dr. Jace are doing fine work,
using Tar to activate still more.
[Ultra-Humanite grunts]
Best of all, they're volunteers.
There's no coercion, no trafficking.
A little patriotic nudge,
passed from myself to King Brion to his people,
does the trick quite nicely.
And Helga has really taken these newly minted metas under her wing.
She's like a mother to them all.
-Oh, it's very sweet. -[Klarion gasps]
And what of the push from Secretary General Troia
to send UN inspectors to Markovia?
-[Zviad Baazovi] A minor concern, but-- - This is bad. Not good.
-I have to go. - Klarion?
No time to explain. Teekl, you tell them.
[meows]
[chuckling] Our excitable friend seems to be having a moment.
[Uknown Narrator] Over 12 millennia ago,
Vandar Adg established a village for his spawn...
-[kids laughing] -...beings that today would be called...
meta-humans.
This was to be Vandar's utopia,
a place where all his children,
those that descended from him
and those he had taken under his wing,
could live in peace and harmony under his rule.
In time,
Vandar left to conquer more lands.
Returning to his village in triumph,
he discovered his utopia had been undone.
[laughing maniacally]
Ugh!
Andie, isn't it Gar's turn to clean out the fridge?
Yeah, but he was so tired, I offered to do it for him.
The poor guy really looked like he could use some sleep.
All right, climb aboard.
-[Leroy chirping, clicking] - Ow!
Okay, okay. The dragon it is.
I thought we were gonna figure out what that weird energy wave was?
Isn't that what we're doing?
Fine.
Mr. Tawny, I choose you.
[chanting spell]
[carousel music playing]
-[Khalid] Whoa, whoa, whoa! -[Thirteen laughing]
[all laughing]
[Mary] So crash!
[Zatanna] Class, here's your next test.
Try to keep up.
You didn't have to go all Mary Poppins.
You know, we could've taken the subway.
[laughs] Where's the fun in that?
Hey, Mary, I know I'm the new guy here,
but what did Zatanna mean
when she said that you're still thinking too much like a superhero?
Oh, that. See, I used to be a superhero, called Sergeant...
Mmm, never mind.
I was on the covert team, so you wouldn't have heard of me.
But I had the power, or a third of the power, anyway of...
[sighs] Well...
I can't actually say it myself.
[whispering] Shazam!
[Khalid] Um, so, what happened?
I was just a kid.
I wasn't ready for power back then.
I had to give it up.
[softly] I had to.
[all screaming]
[tires screeching]
That was amazing!
You know, except for the part where we nearly hit a bus.
Why's a school bus out at this time of night, anyway?
Eh, buses happen. [chants spell]
[Mary] What are we doing here?
Meeting an old friend. Someone you all should know.
[Leroy chirping]
Nimue Inwudu, also known as Madame Xanadu,
- allow me to introduce-- - Your students.
Traci Thurston, Mary Bromfield, and Khalid Nassour.
Bonsoir, mes amis.
Madame Xanadu offers you welcome.
[Klarion laughing maniacally]
[Unknown Narrator] Vandar attacked this new foe.
[Vandar roaring]
[Unknown Narrator] But with a snap of his fingers...
[Vandar groaning]
[Unknown Narrator] ...Klarion the Witch Boy killed him...
only to see Vandar rise again.
Vandar soon realized he wasn't facing a mortal,
not even a meta-human mortal.
This Klarion was something new.
Or despite appearances,
something incredibly old.
Something elemental,
fundamental...
to the universe.
[soft clinking]
Hello. I wish to express my appreciation.
Thank you for being my anchor on the mortal plane.
In return, I will provide you with an appropriate name.
Let's call you Flaw, shall we?
Now, Flaw, if you would kneel.
[soft scraping]
There.
You look absolutely darling.
Child, what you doing in here?
And what is that?
"Child"?
Hmm. I like it.
Thank you, sir.
You have served a valuable purpose.
Flaw, please reward this mortal accordingly.
Hey! Hey! Stop there.
Stop right there. Don't make me shoot!
[guard groans]
[chuckles] This new form looks adorable.
Still,
I wonder what these things look like on the inside.
[elevator dings]
Uh, Gar, you got a minute?
Sure, BD. What's up?
I figured I should check in with you.
As part of my official den mother gig, like.
Cool, cool. I'm crash.
Grand. Eh, except, you haven't been going on missions,
which is fine. Eh...
But, uh, now you're not doing your chores either.
It's not like you, Gar.
Should I be worried?
Nah, man. I'm just tired's all.
But sorry. I'll get on the chores thing.
Got you covered.
[elevator door alarm buzzing]
So, was that it?
I, uh, reckon so.
[buzzing stops]
[elevator departing]
[jazz music playing]
[Khalid] Hey, where's that music coming from?
Hmm? Oh.
From Preservation Hall, across the street.
But, Preservation Hall, isn't that in New Orleans?
Of course.
[Thirteen] Whoa.
[music continues playing]
We entered through the Harlem door.
Madame Xanadu's parlor is actually in New Orleans,
but it has doors the world over,
all leading here.
This "parlor" looks more like a tourist trap.
[Madame Xanadu] It was, once.
But now...
[inhales]
You okay?
Madame Xanadu is a seeker of secrets and a keeper of knowledge.
For years, her natural gifts lay dormant and forgotten.
She was a charlatan, a poser,
until an encounter with Kent Nelson and Abra Kadabra
inspired her to become what she had long claimed to be.
The greatest seer and medium on Earth.
[gasps] Whoa.
Kent Nelson?
I assume you know why we're here.
Powerful mystic pulse felt all around the world, yes?
I've lost track of it,
but I can send you to the last known location of its locus.
Perfect.
[softly] Hmm.
[chanting spell]
That should get you there.
-[clears throat] - Whoops. Sorry.
[chanting spell]
[scoffs] Really?
Favors don't keep the lights on.
Thank you, Nimue.
Of course. Now, please, be careful, Z.
I haven't felt a chaotic energy like that in this lifetime.
[Thirteen gasps]
[Unknown Narrator] For 300 days and 300 nights,
Klarion killed Vandar in 300 different ways.
And every time,
Vandar rose again.
Until, finally, the Witch Boy grew intrigued enough to stop.
Each was a revelation to the other.
Klarion learned that mortals had the potential to interest and engage him.
And Vandar learned of the Lords of Chaos and Order
that helped govern the cosmos.
Vandar did not yet know what use he could make of this entity.
But seeing a valuable potential asset
and not being one to let an opportunity slip away,
Vandar was certain he would think of something.
Still, the priority was to stop Klarion from murdering his people.
Unfortunately, the Witch Boy balked at any restriction, asking,
"Why would I listen to you?"
"Give me 1,000 years, and I'll show you why.
Meet me right back here in this village called Atlantis."
"All right. I'll play, for now."
Holy moly!
Who would do this? And why?
Some kind of ritual killings?
I don't think so.
It reminds me of first-year medical school.
An anatomy lesson.
I think you're right, Khalid.
Something inhuman did this.
Something that wanted to know how we tick.
[both] What did you do?
[meows]
Yes, I know we shouldn't have stopped to torture those hummingbirds,
but it seemed like a fun idea at the time.
[chanting spell]
[Klarion] Oh, no. I'm not falling for that again.
Took me 16 days to get out of that tower last time.
I won't get stuck,
and I won't stand still for what you got planned.
[chants spell]
- What do we do? - Pool your energies into me.
Power of Zeus!
[Zatanna groans]
[all groaning]
No more ankhs. No more meddling.
You all die today!
Hey! What do you think you're doing?
Giving as good as I get!
- Strength of Hercules! -[Klarion groans]
[in childish voice] You would strike a little boy?
With his own evil power? Damn straight.
You want my power?
You can't handle my power!
[groaning]
[chanting spell]
-[grunts] -[groaning]
Ah! Tangles.
-[Teekl meows] - Tingles. Tingles. They knew I meant Tingles.
Khalid, the cat is his anchor!
[chanting spell]
[Teekl whimpers]
Your type always goes for the cat!
[Klarion growling]
[grunting]
[chanting spell]
[groans softly]
This will do.
[smacks lips]
I can taste him here.
Tastes like... [smacks lips]
disappointment.
[meows]
[chanting spell, choking]
[both choking]
[grunts, chokes]
[all gasping]
[hisses]
If you would oblige me, please.
[clinking]
[Klarions] Aw, not her! Of all the ones to send.
[Klarion groans]
No, no, no, not now!
[gasping]
Dang it. I wanted to finish off these kids.
Sorry to split, losers,
but I got other figs to fry.
[meows]
They knew what I meant!
[chitters softly]
[Unknown Narrator] Thus, the threat of the Chaos Lord was delayed.
But not dismissed.
Yet, in that moment,
a bond was forged between an immortal mortal
and one of the cosmos's elemental entities.
Come now, Stranger,
why do you tell me what I already know?
To remind you
of what must not be forgotten.
Damn you and your enigmatic musings.
For once, say what you came here to... say.
[laser blasts and dramatic music playing in video on cell phone]
[munching]
[Tork] Lieutenant Der'Chow,
reroute power to the command console,
and use the last of our beryllium crystals to boost our tazer-beams.
We may be a billion lightyears from home
and stuck in the middle of a Klamulon Civil War,
but the crew of the Engager does not know how to quit!
We'll get Captain Bender back
and take down that zombie-cyborg-Ensign-Valiant.
'Cause, face it,
I didn't journey all the way from Mars only to cut and run.
And I bet you didn't trade an easy life on Klamulon-Prime just to bail, either.
Doesn't matter how many friends we've lost
or how many ships they throw at us,
we don't give up on the mission
and we don't give up on each other!
Now, fire tazer-one!
[tazer-fire]
[Engager whooshing]
[dramatic music swells]
[explosion]