1
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,950
<i>[♪ acoustic rock plays]</i>

2
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,396
- How much?
- Two dollars.

3
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,788
All right.

4
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,069
- There you go.
- Thanks.

5
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,357
Sadie. Those aren't ours. Sorry, sorry.

6
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,998
- Let's go find Mommy.
- Sadie.

7
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,353
Thank you.

8
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:19,955
[chuckles]

9
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,236
Officer Washburn, how you doing today?

10
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,709
Ned, you always have
the most gorgeous rhubarb.

11
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,871
It's Willie Nelson's poo
that gives it that glow.

12
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,517
- My dog, Willie Nelson.
- Oh. [laughs] Hey, Willie.

13
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,874
Is that true? [chuckles]

14
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,072
Um... Listen, Ned...

15
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,919
...you wouldn't happen to know where I
could get some, uh... [clicks tongue]

16
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,350
- You know what I mean?
- What?

17
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,637
Roll it up, toke it up, do it up.

18
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,795
- Mary Jane...
- You know, officer... [laughs]

19
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,515
...even if I did,
do you really think I'd tell you?

20
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,029
Oh, uh...

21
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,313
You're right, I'm sorry.

22
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,192
It's... it's been a hard week,
you know?

23
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,675
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

24
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,319
But, not your problem.

25
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,192
You have a good day.

26
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,034
Officer.

27
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,838
Here you go, officer,
have some rhubarb.

28
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,474
Hey, thanks, man. Wow.

29
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,313
- [laughs] How much do I owe you?
- Nothing.

30
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,199
Seriously, I understand. I know
what it's like to have a hard week.

31
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:34,239
Well, thank you, but I wouldn't
be able to enjoy it unless I...

32
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,631
- [sniffs]
- [laughs]

33
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,558
All right, if you insist. Uh...

34
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,549
Twenty bucks.

35
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,479
- Twenty bucks? [laughs]
- Yeah.

36
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,754
- Put it back into the produce.
- Twenty bucks.

37
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,229
- All right, thank you.
- Excellent.

38
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,228
- You're under arrest.
- [laughs]

39
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,434
- Really.
- [groans] Oh!

40
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,273
- [laughs]
- You're under arrest.

41
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,669
Oh, shit.

42
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,838
Willie Nelson didn't do anything.

43
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,076
It's gonna be OK, Willie Nelson.

44
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,356
It's gonna be all right.

45
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,079
So, Kaplan,
from Westbank Capital, right,

46
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,596
he stands up, bids $25,000.

47
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,230
This is like a $500 bottle of wine,
$480, right.

48
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,079
- OK.
- Great, yeah. Good night.

49
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,268
OK.

50
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,276
- Take this off.
- [phone rings]

51
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,115
Damn it. What?

52
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:49,759
Jeremy, my pilot light's out again.

53
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,078
Well, just use a match, you moron.

54
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,708
Last time I did that
I almost singed off my eyeball.

55
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,229
Will you just come up and
do the thing with the thing

56
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,153
behind the thing that you did?
It'll take two minutes.

57
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,914
Goddamn it.
OK, I'll be up in five minutes. OK?

58
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,310
- What?!
- Are you having sex?

59
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,990
- OK, I'll be right there.
- You're gonna leave right now?

60
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,594
I'll be back in a couple of minutes,
I just have to help her out.

61
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,159
- No.
- I'm a good neighbor.

62
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,392
[indistinct chatter]

63
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,836
Huh! It's, uh, 7:35,
you know kids these days.

64
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,399
It's so depressing.

65
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,431
Your friends from the law firm
will be here, right?

66
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,433
Yeah, but it's casual Friday.

67
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,272
OK, what does that mean?

68
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,159
A lot of bad lawyer clothes.

69
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,993
One of the things
about being the dumb, slutty one

70
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,469
is that it gives you
a unique perspective.

71
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:44,519
So, Ralph and I are doing it
on the ping pong table,

72
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,752
you know, fucking. [chuckles]

73
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,749
[clears throat]

74
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,754
Hey.

75
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,189
Hey.

76
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:15,033
[laughs] Oh, my God.
What have you done to your vagina?

77
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,673
It's a Brazilian.

78
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,158
Bizarre.

79
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,198
[deep breath]

80
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,430
[Ned] See you later, Campbell!
Take good care of that leg.

81
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,234
- Take care.
- [man] Hey! Hope I don't see you again.

82
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,719
<i>[♪ Tony Orlando and Dawn: "Tie a Yellow
Ribbon ('Round the Ole Oak Tree)"]</i>

83
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,235
<i>♪ I'm coming home
I've done my time</i>

84
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,831
<i>♪ Now I've got to know
what is and isn't mine</i>

85
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:49,998
<i>♪ If you received my letter
telling you I'd soon be free</i>

86
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,589
<i>♪ Then you'll know
just what to do</i>

87
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,354
<i>♪ If you still want me</i>

88
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,355
<i>♪ Then you still want me</i>

89
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:05,071
<i>♪ Tie a yellow ribbon
'round the ole oak tree</i>

90
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:10,439
<i>♪ It's been three long years
Do you still want me?</i>

91
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:15,668
<i>♪ If I don't see a ribbon
'round the ole oak tree</i>

92
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,991
<i>♪ I'll stay on the bus
Forget about us</i>

93
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,116
<i>♪ Put the blame on me</i>

94
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:24,716
<i>♪ If I don't see
a yellow ribbon 'round</i>

95
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,270
<i>- ♪ The ole oak tree ♪
- [chickens clucking]</i>

96
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,512
- Get back.
- [rooster crowing]

97
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:32,829
You stay cool, little mama.

98
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,157
Not in front of the chickens, babe...

99
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,312
- Sweetie! Hey, sweetheart.
- Ned! Whoa.

100
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:44,155
- Whoa. What are you doing here, man?
- They let me go early.

101
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:48,472
Good behavior. I won Most Cooperative
Inmate, four months running.

102
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,518
- Of course you were.
- I missed you so much.

103
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,199
- Baby, I...
- Hey, man.

104
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:55,989
Hi.

105
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,680
Ned, this is Billy.
Billy, this is... Ned.

106
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,957
Oh. I've heard a lot about you.
How's it going, Ned?

107
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,351
Janet's told me a lot of stuff about
you. Some of it's pretty intense.

108
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,637
I've made some changes
since you've been gone.

109
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,997
I told her to tell you earlier,
but you know what she's like...

110
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,316
Billy, you said you'd be supportive.

111
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,833
- Sorry, man.
- It's all right.

112
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,112
It's cool you're out of jail.

113
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,919
- I'll let you guys do this.
- All right.

114
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,594
Thanks, Billy.

115
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:34,079
[Sighs] Wow, man.
Well... where do I go now?

116
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,190
Ned, you had, like,
eight months to think about this.

117
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,033
Yeah, but for eight months I thought
I was coming back here.

118
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,997
I mean, I've lived here for three years.

119
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,197
- I lived here before you lived here.
- It's not a contest!

120
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,868
Dude, this is what happens
when you don't use your head.

121
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:52,589
Can you just think for a minute what it
was like for me these past few months?

122
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,877
You? Well, you know, where's...
Where's Willie Nelson?

123
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,519
- Willie Nelson? Willie!
- [dog whimpers]

124
00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,554
Willie! Hey, buddy!

125
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,871
- We'll be fine.
- But Willie Nelson is not your dog.

126
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,389
Tim, who's my friend, left him here.

127
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,996
Willie, who do you wanna live with?
Who do you wanna live with?

128
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,478
That is so not cool, Ned.

129
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,359
Are you seriously gonna
put that dog in that position?

130
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,316
Look, I am really happy
that you got out of prison.

131
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,199
But it is not fair to uproot
this animal. He loves it here.

132
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,670
I'm not gonna uproot him.
I'm still gonna work here.

133
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,798
Well, you think that Dave is gonna
take you back after what you did?

134
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,953
- Well, I'm still taking him with me.
- Where?

135
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,433
- Where, Ned?
- I...

136
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,114
That's what I thought.
Come on, Willie Nelson. Come on.

137
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,317
- Let's go.
- Come on! How can you do this to me?

138
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,469
To us?

139
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,030
We've had three beautiful years, man.
Let me go.

140
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,953
Not me and you, me and Willie Nelson.

141
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:52,999
Let's go.

142
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,954
- Come here. Get inside.
- Oh. Geez, Louise.

143
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,553
<i>[♪ Willie Nelson:
"Wonderful Future"]</i>

144
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:02,276
<i>♪ Today as I walk
through my garden</i>

145
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,112
<i>♪ Of dreams</i>

146
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,714
<i>♪ I'm alone in the sweet</i>

147
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,791
[Billy] Where do you want me
to drop you, man?

148
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,791
Anywhere. Here's fine.

149
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,032
<i>♪ My past and my present</i>

150
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,153
<i>- ♪ Are one and the same
- Hey, man, you gonna be all right?</i>

151
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,595
<i>- ♪ And the future holds
- Yeah.</i>

152
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,275
<i>♪ Nothing for me</i>

153
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:32,350
<i>- ♪ Yesterday's kisses...
- Buddy, you can't come with me.</i>

154
00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,512
Don't you start crying,
too, OK?

155
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:40,874
<i>♪ And yesterday's memories
still find me</i>

156
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,517
<i>- ♪ Scenes from the past
- I can't...</i>

157
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,752
<i>♪ Keep returning</i>

158
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:56,831
<i>♪ I've got a wonderful future
behind me</i>

159
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,150
[truck engine starts]

160
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,156
[dog whining]

161
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:19,111
<i>♪ You say there is happiness</i>

162
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,478
<i>♪ Waiting for me</i>

163
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,352
<i>♪ But I know... ♪</i>

164
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:30,395
Hey, man, Janet's been trying
to rent out that old goat barn.

165
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:34,030
If you could get two months worth of
rent together, then maybe you could...

166
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,795
Seriously? Well,
what's she asking per month?

167
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,951
Well, she's been asking $400,

168
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,835
but for you, she'd probably
give it to you for $500.

169
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,234
You think she'd go for it?

170
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,436
You just worry about
getting that money together.

171
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,397
I'll take care of Janet.

172
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,870
Right on. Thanks, man.

173
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,715
[Ned] Hey, just remember,

174
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,678
Omega-3s for the blepharitis,
it helps with everything.

175
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,910
- [man] Thanks for the tip, Ned.
- [Ned] Thanks, Hauser.

176
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,550
You know what the worst part is? She's
insisting on keeping Willie Nelson.

177
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,994
- No!
- [all gasp] No, way!

178
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,071
I thought she was a Buddhist
or something.

179
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,435
I'm so sorry, I know
how much you love him.

180
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,318
- That sucks, Ned.
- Yeah, it's really tough,

181
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,596
but you know what I'm gonna do
is get some money together

182
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,514
and I'm gonna rent the goat barn
on the back 40, so...

183
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,433
The goat barn. Pff.
Better hurry up on that one.

184
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,398
- Yeah.
- How much you need for the goat barn?

185
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:32,552
I'm sure we could rustle up
some cash for you?

186
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:38,519
Um, I thought we agreed as a family
not to loan each other money.

187
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:39,908
Yeah, no, right, obviously.

188
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,594
Because then we would've blown through
Dylan's inheritance by now.

189
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:48,670
I just thought that it would be,
you know, better if Ned were to...

190
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:50,909
...earn it himself.

191
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,116
For Ned, yeah, for you.

192
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,113
Absolutely, no, for sure.
I'm not a charity case.

193
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,795
I wanna work, so if you hear of
anything, any odd jobs or anything,

194
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,315
please, let me know, because...

195
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,835
Maybe there's something
on your movie you could...

196
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,436
There wouldn't... No, no.

197
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,637
No. No, we're pretty well-staffed
at the moment.

198
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,313
Yeah, sorry, it's...

199
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,040
[Natalie] You know what you really need
is to get laid.

200
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,590
I have, like, five hot roommates,
a couple of them would totally fuck you.

201
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,472
- Definitely.
- Dude,

202
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,108
can we discuss living with
that many people at this age?

203
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,679
I mean, it's kind of gnarly.

204
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,673
Well, actually, we looked at
a two-bedroom in Brooklyn Heights.

205
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,671
- Right, Nat?
- For you two?

206
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,195
- That's awesome.
- Good! That's so exciting!

207
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,237
- Can I come check it out?
- Yeah, of course.

208
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,556
Contain your enthusiasm, Nat.

209
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,159
No, it's just...

210
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,316
I get worried, because...

211
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,029
...people who move in together
always end up either breaking up

212
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,798
or getting married.

213
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,359
- OK.
- No, no, no, no.

214
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,473
Why would you say that in front
of everybody? I don't understand.

215
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,789
[both whispering]

216
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,513
- Come here.
- OK.

217
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,792
[woman] Take a breath, Mom.

218
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,713
- Relax, take a breath.
- We have to go. Seth has a show.

219
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,678
- Yeah. Who's Seth?
- I have a deadline. I'm gonna go too.

220
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,513
What about cake? Aren't we
gonna play a game or something?

221
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,511
[Dylan] We should probably
get going as well.

222
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:18,036
Hey, sunshine, we gotta get home
and practice your shehnai.

223
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:19,549
You're right.

224
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,870
I'll cut you a slice, River,
you can take it with you.

225
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,554
Oh, no, he had a cupcake yesterday.

226
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,391
We're off sugar today.
Thanks, though, Ned.

227
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,950
[sister] Such a lucky kid,
gets a cupcake once a week.

228
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,593
So, I'll see you guys next week, OK?

229
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,830
- Bye, Mom!
- You guys really have to go so soon?

230
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,553
It's still light out.

231
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,915
I know, but I'm so psyched
to have you next week.

232
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,196
- Yeah, to next week! Bye, guys.
- [Natalie] Cindy!

233
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,079
- [Cindy] Coming, coming!
- [horn honks]

234
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,154
Our door is always open, Ned.

235
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,313
We'll see you next week, OK? Bye!

236
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,079
Bye!

237
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,958
You know, Nedly, I love you.

238
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,232
I love you too, Mom.

239
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,718
Even though you've never had a real job
and that problem with the jail business,

240
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,633
and you've never given me
any grandchildren.

241
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,719
Yeah, well...

242
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,273
Any plans for tomorrow?

243
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,838
I don't even know where to begin.

244
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,271
Then we'll drive over to Calico Corner,
I gotta get a new button.

245
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,597
- You need any?
- I'm OK.

246
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,115
Let's get an early start,
we'll beat the crowds.

247
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,994
OK.

248
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,279
[sighs] I'm glad you're staying here.

249
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,313
Nighty-night.

250
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,392
- Good night, Mom.
- Sleep tight.

251
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,830
Don't let the bedbugs bite.

252
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,910
[slowly] I'm... Officer...
Omar... Coleman.

253
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:56,276
I'm... your... parole... officer.

254
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,792
I'm Ned Rochlin.
Why are you talking so slow?

255
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,911
I just figured, looking at your sheet,

256
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,833
that since you sold grass
to a uniformed police officer

257
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,479
that you must be retarded.

258
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,519
- [laughs] Yeah, I get that a lot.
- Right.

259
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,790
You need a signed rental agreement
in your name

260
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,554
or written confirmation that
you're staying with a family member.

261
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,508
OK. Well, currently I'm staying with
my mom in Long Island. Although, I...

262
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,591
You're required to appear
before me every three weeks,

263
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,513
at which time you'll provide me
with a urine sample. You understand?

264
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,352
Oh, yes, sir, Your Honor.

265
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,715
State of New York requires you
to reflect upon the choices

266
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,438
that led to your incarceration.

267
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:33,999
- Cool.
- Cool.

268
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,749
Um, what steps are you taking to avoid
such choices in the future?

269
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,670
Uh... I'll tell you,
that's really tough...

270
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,400
...tough for me, sir. I don't really...

271
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,149
Hmm. Hm.

272
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,231
Wow, that's a good question. I don't...
It's tough to answer right now.

273
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,197
I haven't thought about it
that much, but,

274
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,635
I don't know. I mean, I'm not
gonna be working at the farm anymore.

275
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,360
- OK.
- Although, you might not want to

276
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,869
write that one down, 'cause it's
not so much a step, per se.

277
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,270
Because it's not my choice.
I'd love to be working there,

278
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,677
but my girlfriend, Janet,
doesn't want it to happen really.

279
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,552
How about we put down you're staying
away from past criminal associates?

280
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:14,994
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.

281
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,713
- If you think that's best.
- Yeah.

282
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,428
You know what? I'll think about it
and I'll try and come back next time

283
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,071
with some more steps and options, that
kind of thing, for our next meeting.

284
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,071
- You do that, buddy.
- This is cool, man.

285
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,992
- Yeah.
- This is like...

286
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,709
This is like free therapy.
New York State cares.

287
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,749
Is that it? That's it?

288
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,512
- That's it.
- My 50 minutes are up?

289
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,716
- Yeah.
- All right, man. OK.

290
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:45,869
- OK.
- Thanks a lot.

291
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,875
Hey, is it lame if I bail on Nat's show?

292
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,349
Yeah. Then no one will be there.

293
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,672
What the hell is that noise?

294
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,992
- Oh, that's River's shehnai.
- [croaking instrument sound]

295
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,760
You have no idea how competitive
admissions have gotten.

296
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,599
God, Ned just showed up.

297
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,111
- I'll call you back.
- All right, bye.

298
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,359
Hi.

299
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:16,274
- You said your door was always open.
- I did, yeah.

300
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,474
I hope this is OK, Ned.

301
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,589
Are you kidding? This is great.

302
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,718
My God, I get to rock
the full-on slumber party

303
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,916
with my man River every night.

304
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,358
I mean, Mom's great and all, but...

305
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,592
Oh. No, Ned, it's all right. I get it.

306
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,715
So, the deal is, if it's OK with you,

307
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:46,317
you'll get $250 a week,
you'll help us out with River,

308
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:50,598
and you get to work with Dylan
on the documentary.

309
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,990
Yeah, I hope you don't have to fire
anyone to make room for me, Dyl.

310
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,277
Oh, yeah, but it's family first, right?

311
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,398
You guys.

312
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,116
[grunts]

313
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,515
[indistinct chatter]

314
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,430
[Ned] Come on, bud, let's go.

315
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,271
[percussive music plays]

316
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:30,318
- [shouting]
- [River laughs]

317
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,835
[both laughing]

318
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,878
So, you're telling me
you've never seen The Pink Panther?

319
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,837
Mom and Dad don't like violent movies.

320
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,070
Yeah, but it's not violent,
it's hilarious.

321
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,231
- Nobody's actually getting hurt.
- Mm-hmm.

322
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,151
Get on your feet. Come on, come here.

323
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,154
On your feet, River Rochlin Byng.

324
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,389
[karate greeting]

325
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,790
Welcome to my dojo.

326
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,589
Give me a chop.

327
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,153
- What was that?
- Karate chop.

328
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,236
That was a...? That wasn't a chop.
You know what that was? That was this...

329
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,550
- Chop me. Do it.
- [laughs]

330
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,188
- How about this?
- Oh! Ah!

331
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,032
[laughing]

332
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,875
Christ! It's after 1 0:00, for Christ's
sakes, River has school in the morning.

333
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,749
Oh, God, sorry, yeah.
I must've lost track of time again.

334
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,673
Ned, what's the laptop
doing in his bedroom?

335
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,274
We were just watching Pink Panther.

336
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,030
We loaned you the computer for your
resume, not to look at pink panthers.

337
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,717
No, The Pink...
It's just Pink Panther.

338
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,429
This country's obsessed with screens.

339
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,518
He's seven years-old,
for Christ's sakes.

340
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,272
- [crashing]
- Ahh.

341
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:51,309
Whoops.

342
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,669
- Good night, Riv.
- Good night.

343
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,470
[Natalie] I mean, he's not
like a criminal or anything,

344
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,154
he's just a fuck-up who needs help.

345
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,118
Well, if he's got any of your genes,
I'd be happy to throw him a few bucks

346
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,430
- to do a little modeling.
- That would be awesome.

347
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,029
Then he'd have cash
and somewhere to go.

348
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:14,591
Sure. Hey, have you heard
of Sustainable Upgrade?

349
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,388
Sustainable Upgrade,
it's a life-coaching program.

350
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:23,030
It saved me. I was like
your brother is now, floating.

351
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,195
[laughs]

352
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,113
Waiting for someone
to give me a sense of purpose.

353
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,756
Cool, I'll tell him.

354
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,276
Want to come to a meeting too?

355
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,158
- Mmm, I don't know.
- No.

356
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,835
You are capable
of extraordinary things, Natalie.

357
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,518
You just have to let yourself go there.

358
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,994
[laughs] It's not like a cult, is it?

359
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,832
Cult? [laughs] No.

360
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,000
No. I'll tell you what,
I'll take you both.

361
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,833
Just check it out, no pressure.

362
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,275
[classical piano music plays]

363
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,193
What we're doing is we're
filming this documentary movie

364
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,679
about Tatiana.

365
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,031
And all of the artistic repression
that she faced in Belorussia.

366
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,352
What I'd love to get from you guys would
be signatures on these releases.

367
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,158
Thank you.

368
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,829
[clears throat]

369
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,673
- [Ned] Excuse me, ladies...
- Jesus.

370
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,553
Ah! [laughs]

371
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:39,755
- Man...
- [woman] It hurts.

372
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,150
- [Ned] It does. It does, God!
- [woman] I know.

373
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,839
I think I need leg warmers.

374
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,037
- My Croc is stuck.
- Hey.

375
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,310
- Hey.
- Is this joker bothering you?

376
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,199
No, not at all. He's very cute.

377
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:53,873
He's pretty funny.

378
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,548
You wanna go grab the bags,
take them down to the car?

379
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,790
Sure. I told her
you're my brother-in-law.

380
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,592
She didn't know you were married.

381
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,318
- Oh.
- No.

382
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,439
You gotta look at this thing she can do
with her leg. This is amazing. Show him.

383
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,960
- Look at...!
- I've just been shooting this stuff.

384
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,350
But, hey, I never tire of it.

385
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,950
[laughs] Look at this. I can get it...
This is how high I can go.

386
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,075
[both laugh]

387
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,913
I know. You just did it
five seconds ago.

388
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,752
Oh, yeah. I didn't know if you saw it.

389
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,751
Well, I've been here, like, 25 seconds.

390
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,718
Oh. [laughs]

391
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,549
- Go get the bags, wise-guy.
- [laughs]

392
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,995
Well, sure thing. I'll go get 'em, boss.

393
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,435
Seriously, go get the bags.

394
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,750
Oh, yeah, yeah. OK.

395
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,196
- [laughing, banging]
- [Ned] Ah!

396
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,635
Oh, right in my gluteus maximus!

397
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,274
- Get your stinky feet off me.
- Stop tickling me!

398
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,556
[Ned] I'm not tickling you,
what are you talking about?

399
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,033
So has Nat always been a lesbian?

400
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,839
Oh, no, no, she's open
to pretty much anyone.

401
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,118
Boys, girls, old, young, thin, fat.

402
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,316
That's a beautiful thing, actually.

403
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,515
- That is beautiful.
- She even slept with our cousin once.

404
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,556
- [man] Dude! What the fuck!
- Sorry, sorry... to everybody.

405
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,989
Man, can you hold this? Thanks.

406
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:44,477
Thanks, man. I feel like an idiot.
[laughs]

407
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,273
- You done yet?
- No, I still can't go.

408
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,351
[Omar] Gotta get that sample.

409
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,318
Hey, your two job's gonna look
good on my monthly stats.

410
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,516
I'm telling you, Omar,
good things happen.

411
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,150
- Good things happen.
- Yeah, I'll keep that in mind, Ned.

412
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,513
Oh, now if you're gonna move into that
barn residence you referred to,

413
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,399
you gotta register the address here
within three days of moving in.

414
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,993
Oh, yeah.

415
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,710
One more minute
or I'm getting the cranberry juice.

416
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,711
Nope, almost there.

417
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,959
There we go.

418
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,954
- Oh!
- [laughs]

419
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,871
Sorry, man, I shouldn't have gone
before I came here. I'm so stupid.

420
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,359
I don't know what I was thinking.

421
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,076
- That was funny, Ned.
- [laughs]

422
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,350
- Yeah.
- You... [laughs]

423
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,276
The car is now 35 minutes late.

424
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:40,719
If the driver knew there was traffic,
why didn't the driver call me then?

425
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,555
Yes, I know, but you see, I'm
interviewing a very important person,

426
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,075
in less than 20 minutes and I...

427
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,151
Don't...! [groans]

428
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:50,992
Jer, see if he's out there for me.

429
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,434
Yep.

430
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,754
This is a disaster, Jer.
I cannot be late for this.

431
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,959
- [sighs] Jesus Christ.
- No.

432
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:04,033
[groans] I can't believe
I'm calling this person.

433
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,713
Who is she exactly?

434
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,475
Lady Arabella Galloway,
heir presumptive to the House of Stuart,

435
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,631
one of the wealthiest women
in the world.

436
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:12,915
Jesus.

437
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,231
Yeah, her creepy ex-boyfriend stole
ten million dollars from the family,

438
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,516
and then sold their sex tape
to pay his legal bills.

439
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,399
He's a gem. OK, Ned,
you gotta do me a favor.

440
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,437
First of all, we need to step on it,
we're really late.

441
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,751
Next of all, maybe don't say
anything stupid.

442
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,191
Actually, don't say anything at all.
Just keep your mouth shut.

443
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:33,158
This is the first time I'm writing about
an actual person, not just moisturizer.

444
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:34,799
So I really can't fuck it up.

445
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,671
- Hi, Lady Arabella.
- Hi.

446
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,671
- Miranda Rochlin, Vanity Fair.
- Nice to meet you.

447
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,469
So nice to meet you.
Here, just jump right in.

448
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,798
So sorry that we were late.
The town car was stuck in traffic,

449
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,110
- this is my sister's car, I had to...
- It's OK.

450
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,197
- OK. I feel horrible.
- No, it's lovely to meet you.

451
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,113
- Thank you, you too.
- Hi, I'm Arabella.

452
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,838
You can introduce yourself, Ned.

453
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,155
Oh, yes. I'm Ned.

454
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,629
- I'm her brother.
- Yeah, he's just my brother.

455
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,472
That's... that's all.

456
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,073
So, are you two a team?

457
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,312
Us? No. Hm-mm. No.

458
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,391
I'm just kind of doing this
as an odd job.

459
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,755
- Yeah.
- Been out of the workforce for a while.

460
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,878
- Really? Where were you?
- Oh, I was sort of in jail.

461
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,077
Oh. He's not a...
He's not a criminal or anything,

462
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,232
he's just an organic farmer
that made a stupid mistake. So...

463
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,000
- Well, biodynamic, actually.
- OK, Ned.

464
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,152
What is biodynamic, exactly?
I've never understood the difference.

465
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,476
Planting kind of depends
on the lunar calendar.

466
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,676
- Species of lettuce, for example...
- Thank you, Ned.

467
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,115
Arabella?
I was thinking we should get started.

468
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:49,673
OK, my lawyer said you agreed not to ask
about him and the whole YouTube thing.

469
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,671
Absolutely, yeah.
Everybody's dated a jerk,

470
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,872
so at the end of the day,
that is just an old, boring story.

471
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,433
- OK. Good.
- Yeah.

472
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:05,277
No, what I'm truly fascinated by is the
work you are doing with Destiny's House.

473
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,990
[Arabella] It's the same story
for all of them.

474
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,869
Seduced at 1 3 or 1 4 by grown men
who make them feel loved

475
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,838
and then brainwash them
into prostitution.

476
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,511
- So sad.
- Yeah.

477
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,592
Well, I guess we're all capable
of trusting the wrong person.

478
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,552
Are you speaking
from personal experience?

479
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,553
Hey, Ebony, thank you for the playlist.

480
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,392
- Love Major Lazer.
- [girl] No problem.

481
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,074
[Arabella] And then there's
Shanequa, she got really into boxing.

482
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,708
Not just like boxing matches,
more like fight training.

483
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,911
- Shanequa?
- [Ned] Yeah, you know my nephew River

484
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:40,073
wants to do something like that, but Liz
won't have anything to do with it.

485
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,674
- Is that the lesbian sister?
- [Ned] That's Nat.

486
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,877
She's really more of a bisexual.
Or at least formerly-bisexual.

487
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:50,079
I don't know how you describe it.
How would you describe Nat?

488
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,148
- Arabella, I was wondering...
- [Arabella] If you guys are interested,

489
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,197
you should come to the benefit
we're having on Sunday.

490
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,595
- Benefit? Oh, yeah!
- The girls will be there.

491
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,035
That could be great.

492
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,038
- I do have this deadline, though.
- [laughs] Man, I love it.

493
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,391
One minute I'm scrubbing toilets at
Marble Valley Regional with Dom,

494
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,755
cut to: I'm on the charity circuit.

495
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,350
- [Ned sipping] Mm.
- [Arabella] It's good, right?

496
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,556
- [woman] Are you convinced?
- Nice, nice.

497
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,029
Way to tell it true, yeah.

498
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,156
Anybody else? How about you? Beth?

499
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,199
Share your story.

500
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:22,829
Sure.

501
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,755
Hi, everyone, my name is Beth Phillips

502
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,195
and I'm from Paramus, New Jersey.

503
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,920
- Hey, Beth.
- [Beth laughs]

504
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,231
[Beth] Uh, I used to call myself
a romance addict.

505
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,000
And then, I went in the win room.

506
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,314
And came out knowing I just used sex
to make me feel like I was in control.

507
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,838
But now, I'm engaged to marry a man
who actually loves me.

508
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,713
He's so awesome.
He just knit me a scarf.

509
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,199
[applause]

510
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,954
[woman] Isn't that a beautiful
testimony?

511
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,630
Let's go to the win room.

512
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,073
[Natalie] So now, um,
I'm in my crib and...

513
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:10,555
...this time my sister's
not strangling me.

514
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,555
She's hugging me and...

515
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,277
I feel so positive
and, like, really, like, clear.

516
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,040
Like I can do anything.

517
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,148
- Yes, you can. You can do anything.
- [applause]

518
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:24,952
That's a great win, Natalie.

519
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,315
- Yeah.
- [man] It was beautiful.

520
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:28,959
Hydrate.

521
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,670
What about you, Ned?
What are you feeling?

522
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:39,914
Uhh...

523
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,348
I just... I feel really hot.

524
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,439
Right. Do you want to expand on that?

525
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,034
All I want is to take that pitcher
and just dump it

526
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,714
onto my penis and balls.

527
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:59,394
Move on through it. Come away from the
testicles and up to your higher self.

528
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,074
- I think I'm gonna throw up.
- Don't throw up in this tent.

529
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,958
Can I please have water without win?

530
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,998
Without a win? Can I please have water
without a win? Can you give me some?

531
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,794
Don't enable him. Don't...

532
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,358
Ned?

533
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,276
- I'm fine, really.
- You're gonna be fine, man.

534
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,910
- We just gotta take you in, all right?
- Are you sure I can't come? I want to.

535
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,356
No, no, really. I'm fine. I promise.
You kids enjoy yourselves.

536
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,909
And, seriously,
congratulations on your wins.

537
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,277
I love you, Ned, bye.

538
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,429
[sirens wails]

539
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,479
[moaning]

540
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,114
Cite Ohio v. McNally, Doug.

541
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,111
Oliver Wendell Holmes 1 01.

542
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,153
[laughs]

543
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,668
Yeah, I'll be in in about 40 minutes.
We can talk about it then. OK.

544
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,592
- You're so smart.
- Thanks, baby.

545
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,714
- You really have to go?
- Yeah. I do.

546
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:34,235
[car horns honking]

547
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,559
OK...

548
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,914
You know, Ned... Uh...

549
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,231
...maybe you should wait here. I've got
to do an interview with Tatiana,

550
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,198
- which could be a little sensitive.
- Really, how so?

551
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,319
Well, it's too sensitive, you know,
even to discuss.

552
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,438
- Wow.
- Why don't you chill out in the car,

553
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,997
- while I go and do it.
- Yeah.

554
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,833
- Do you need any help?
- No, just chill out in the car.

555
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,479
All right.

556
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,591
[siren wails]

557
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,239
Come on.

558
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,836
How we doing this evening?

559
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,356
Good. Good. Everything's great, officer.

560
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,999
I'm on parole.

561
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,553
- Any trouble here?
- No, no trouble at all.

562
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,192
My brother-in-law's doing a documentary
up in the building up there,

563
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,032
and I'm just...

564
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,998
This is my job, to watch this.

565
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,673
No trouble, we're not breaking the law.

566
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,831
You're in a 24-hour tow zone.

567
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,037
You gotta move this vehicle,
tow truck's behind me.

568
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,033
Well, all right.
Thank you for your service.

569
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,033
Ahh.

570
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,912
Just gotta get the keys!

571
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,035
Dylan! Dylan!

572
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:19,909
- Dylan!
- [gasping]

573
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,753
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm sorry.

574
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,229
I'm sorry,
I just really need the car keys.

575
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,158
I told you never
to interrupt me when I'm working.

576
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,232
Yeah, sorry about that, man.
I need the keys, we're gonna get towed.

577
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,432
Wait, wait, wait. Why are they towing
the car? What the fuck did you do?!

578
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,275
- I didn't do anything.
- That was your one responsibility, Ned.

579
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,749
Your one responsibility!

580
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,716
Hey, Tatiana. Sorry!

581
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,712
[bicycle bell ringing]

582
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,396
- Ned, interviewing is an art form.
- [car starts]

583
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,997
When you ask someone to be vulnerable
or naked, you have to be naked too,

584
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,799
to make them feel comfortable.

585
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,996
- That make sense?
- Yeah, I guess.

586
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:19,633
Great.

587
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,997
- This piece is about Destiny's House.
- [sighs]

588
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,310
We need more details about her.

589
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,436
- This woman's been through a lot.
- I know.

590
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,751
Robbie, we agreed
with the publicist not to go there.

591
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,269
The publicist
is not writing this, Miranda.

592
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,839
You are.

593
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,470
Your job is to break through to her,
get her to show a little leg.

594
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,717
- Come on, you're so charming.
- I know.

595
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,871
You begged me
to get you this assignment.

596
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,672
You want to get your first story killed?

597
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:53,669
[sighs]

598
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,034
It's just getting to be too much.

599
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,435
River's interview is in three days time.
I want him to be...

600
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,195
...enigmatic, erudite,
wise, incandescent.

601
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,990
I can't just kick him out.
I'll talk to him.

602
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,950
What, you just decided unilaterally?

603
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,111
No, it's just he's family, Dylan.

604
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,192
I can't just turn my back
on him for no reason.

605
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,592
Well, can't one of you just take him,
please? He's driving Dylan crazy.

606
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,513
No, all we have is that storage room
and Dan's friends from the Ukraine

607
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,716
are staying there.
There's, like, six of them.

608
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,156
I can't do it. I've got a crazy
deadline, I really need to focus.

609
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,591
OK, well, thank you guys for your help.

610
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,995
I need to find you.

611
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,879
Cato!

612
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,553
[grunting]

613
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,715
What? Where did you go?

614
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,271
- Hiya!
- [River screaming]

615
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,357
[thumping]

616
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,874
So, River, I like your name.

617
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:23,871
It's better than Echo.

618
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,634
- Echo?
- That's my sister.

619
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,720
River was conceived in India,
near the Ganges.

620
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,396
So what kind of things
do you like to do, River?

621
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:39,959
- Fighting.
- Fighting?

622
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:44,477
- [laughs] What kind of fighting?
- Kun Gek Do.

623
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,910
River, why don't you tell Judith
about the shehnai?

624
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,752
He's very, very good, actually.

625
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,195
- When his hand has healed...
- Kun Gek Do.

626
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,035
I've never heard of that one before.
Tell me about that.

627
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,318
It's totally cool. Some of the moves
are just like Taekwondo.

628
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,232
You know, kicking... [shouts]

629
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,038
...and chopping. [shouting]

630
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:11,074
What's special about it is that the guys
can also throw and choke you...

631
00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:14,073
- [Dylan] Whoa!
- [Liz] That's enough! I'm so sorry.

632
00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:17,437
Seriously, I have no idea
what he's talking about.

633
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,160
Oh, God! [laughs]

634
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,834
Riv, where'd you learn about this?

635
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,834
- Uncle Ned and I found it on YouTube.
- YouTube? What?

636
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,470
- Ned's so funny.
- Tell me about Uncle Ned.

637
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,511
He just got out of jail.

638
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,990
In Japan, for protesting about whales...

639
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,355
...Iike the slaughter of whales.

640
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,988
I thought you said
he sold drugs to a policeman?

641
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,310
- Oh.
- [sighs]

642
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:48,318
None of this would be possible
if it wasn't for this amazing woman,

643
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,519
Rachel, who is a personal hero
to all of us girls.

644
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,194
[applause]

645
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:04,515
All right!

646
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,238
It's lovely to see you. Thank you.

647
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,676
- Arabella, hi! That was amazing.
- Thank you, Miranda.

648
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,035
And you look great.
Whose dress are you wearing?

649
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,510
- Mine.
- You're so clever.

650
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,513
- Thanks for coming.
- Seriously, though, I'd love to know...

651
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,559
[sighs]

652
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:24,188
I don't understand.
So this cop, he just came up

653
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,834
- and he had the hat, the badge...
- Yeah.

654
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,833
Well, no, he didn't have a hat.
I just thought he was, like, you know...

655
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,877
..."Brother, help a brother out,"
you know?

656
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,559
- I don't even...
- [laughing]

657
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,675
- You're laughing at me.
- I'm not laughing at you.

658
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,912
- You're totally laughing.
- I'm laughing at the story, not you.

659
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,197
[chuckles] Here's the thing, I...

660
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,237
I live my life a certain way.

661
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:49,439
And that is that I like to think that
if you put your trust out there,

662
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,750
I mean, if you really...

663
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,753
...give people the benefit of the doubt,
see their best intentions,

664
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,751
they're gonna want to live up to it.

665
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,354
It doesn't always work out, clearly.

666
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,432
But, more often than not,
I think that if you do,

667
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,876
people will rise to the occasion.
I really believe that.

668
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,837
It's very sweet, Ned.

669
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,831
You think I'm an idiot
like everybody else.

670
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,319
No, I don't think you're an idiot.

671
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:16,234
I think that's a really good way
to live your life.

672
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,756
I mean, I'm the same.
At least, I was, yeah.

673
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,269
Until I met the fucking Chilean.

674
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,877
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

675
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:26,913
What happened?

676
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,394
[elevator dings]

677
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,789
So, I mean, I didn't stab him,
I just was trying to scare him.

678
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,837
You must think I'm a total psychopath.

679
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,956
I think you're fucking awesome.

680
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,669
I do. Hey, you wanna
go out with me sometime?

681
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:48,474
Oh. No, not really. But thanks for
asking. That's really sweet.

682
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,034
[Liz] You should have seen him, Ned.

683
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:55,310
He was flying around the room
like a maniac.

684
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,040
I mean, Kum Kak Do,
is that what it's called?

685
00:39:58,200 --> 00:39:59,553
- Kun Gek Do.
- What?

686
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,914
- Kun Gek Do.
- What were you thinking?

687
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,789
Liz, every time he sees
those boys doing karate in class,

688
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,473
you should see the look on his face.

689
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,437
He so badly wants to be there.

690
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:14,277
Dylan and I aren't interested
in those values, Ned.

691
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,193
Sorry.

692
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,717
You know, he's just a little boy.

693
00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:24,878
Little boys fight.

694
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,635
Doesn't mean he's going to grow up
to be a frat-boy rapist.

695
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,349
I'm sorry.

696
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,599
- Bye.
- Bye.

697
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:57,508
Here, Ned. It's just a little something.

698
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,598
Look, I know you tried.

699
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,751
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.

700
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,275
No, no, no, I am.

701
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:08,435
Wait, what?

702
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,717
How much more do you need to move back
to that sheep farm, or whatever?

703
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,074
Three hundred.

704
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,833
- Oh, yeah, Ned.
- Oh, my God, are you...? Miranda.

705
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,552
- Here you go, there's $300. Go home.
- Wait, Miranda.

706
00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:29,156
- Thank you so much.
- OK, I love that she paid you off,

707
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,550
but not, like, the full amount. [laughs]

708
00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:35,190
Well, you know, she has her own way
of doing things.

709
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,509
They both do, I mean...

710
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,758
Hey, you wanna hear something weird?

711
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:41,757
Do you know that Dylan
shoots in the nude?

712
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,480
What? That's... disgusting.

713
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,598
Well, I mean, not all the time,
just certain situations.

714
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,593
Like, if Tatiana's nude,
then he has to be nude.

715
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,230
- It makes her feel more comfortable.
- Why is Tatiana naked?

716
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:55,913
Why is anybody naked?

717
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,436
It's to shoot her scars of oppression,
or something.

718
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,558
Oh, please. He's fucking her.

719
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,990
[sighs] Man, I had a feeling about that.

720
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:09,559
God, I just didn't want to believe it!

721
00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:12,632
- [gasps]
- I mean, all those humanitarian awards.

722
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,276
I've got to call Nat. [gasps] Whoa!

723
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,110
Hey, Dune's on Showtime,
director's cut. You want...?

724
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,111
- Hey.
- Hey, hi.

725
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,750
Sorry, didn't know you... had company.

726
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,070
- No, he's nobody.
- If you're busy...

727
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:29,878
That's my brother, Ned.

728
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,076
- Oh, this is Ned?
- Yeah.

729
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:34,708
- Ned! Hey!
- Jeremy, Ned. Ned, Jeremy.

730
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,474
- Hey, man, Jeremy. Nice to meet you.
- How's it going? Nice to meet you.

731
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,312
You, too, Jeremy.
I'll watch Dune with you.

732
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,118
- Yeah? Me too.
- I love that movie.

733
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,599
"Father, the sleeper has awakened!"

734
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,432
You don't have to throw yourself
at him, Ned.

735
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:48,794
"Father!"

736
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,468
Hey, by the way, thanks for going
with Miranda to that benefit.

737
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,313
- She always makes me do that shit.
- Oh, hey, man, it's all good.

738
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:58,155
Jeremy finds it a burden to shave,
but he loves free food.

739
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:01,073
- That's true.
- [Ned] I had a great time, actually.

740
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:04,232
I tell you, that Arabella
she is one cool chick.

741
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,995
She's so pretty and so smart
and funny and strong.

742
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:11,948
My God, after everything she's been
through. All the humiliation with

743
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,635
- the South American guy, stabbing...
- Nat, oh, my God. Guess... Wait.

744
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,758
Hey, Miranda, do you have
any toothpaste I can borrow?

745
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,831
I'll call you back.
Ned, what did you just say?

746
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,991
I said, "Do you have
any toothpaste I can borrow?"

747
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,351
No, no, no. Arabella and a stabbing?

748
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,158
What did she tell you?

749
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,515
Oh, I don't know. It's kind of private.

750
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,319
- Ned, who just gave you $300?
- You.

751
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,040
Yeah. Plus, I feel like you
just wanted to tell us.

752
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,158
You were basically just practically
telling us the whole story.

753
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,229
Come on, Ned, spit it out.

754
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:44,997
Come on, Ned.

755
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:48,994
She was in South America, there was
a stabbing, just give us the rest of it.

756
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,236
[quacking]

757
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:04,719
[clucking]

758
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,951
[crowing]

759
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,279
- The goat barn?
- Yeah.

760
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:15,558
Ned, why would I want a past lover
living in my backyard?

761
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:17,711
Billy said that you'd be cool with it.

762
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,071
Oh, fuck, man,
I totally forgot to ask her.

763
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:23,515
That's my bad, man, all the way.

764
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,629
I understand. Look, you won't
even notice that I'm here.

765
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,758
Ned, I'm so sorry,
it's not gonna happen.

766
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,239
- [dog barking]
- Willie Nelson!

767
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,079
- [barking]
- [Janet] Whoa.

768
00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:37,595
- Put Willie Nelson back in the house!
- What?

769
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,672
[Billy] Janet said no.

770
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,873
Sorry, man.

771
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,673
- Come on, Willie Nelson.
- You're not gonna let me see him?

772
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,752
You know what, I was hoping
I wouldn't have to say this,

773
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,070
but I don't think you've
given me any other choice.

774
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:58,953
How many times did you make me throw
Willie Nelson outside in the cold

775
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,112
because you didn't want
mud tracked in the house, huh?

776
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,875
How many times did you insult him
by telling him he had bad breath?

777
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,350
Whoa, man, do you understand
that you come here to this farm,

778
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,950
you put Willie Nelson
in the middle of all your bullshit,

779
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,076
and you traumatize him.
Is that what you want?

780
00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:17,629
Why can't you just let him live
with someone who loves him?

781
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,677
Stop with the violence, man!

782
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,436
- You made me raise my voice.
- [softly] Sorry.

783
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,512
I'm feel really affronted right now,
man, on my own property.

784
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,432
Get your book bag, get out of here.

785
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,989
You know what, you know what? Wow.

786
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,790
Seriously, that is just...

787
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,310
- I mean, come on.
- [sheep baa's]

788
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,037
[toilet flushes]

789
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,829
She's not even gonna budge unless
there's some sort of official action

790
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,879
or something. Is there any kind of
motion, or like injunction or something

791
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,553
that you can file? I mean...

792
00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:04,314
I don't know. I don't want
to sound conceited or anything,

793
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:05,993
but I really am the better caregiver.

794
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:11,795
You can sue her, but I'm not gonna let
that hippie bitch put you through that.

795
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,188
You don't think we have a case?

796
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,157
I mean, she's splitting hairs
when she says

797
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,197
it was her friend Tim
that left him with us.

798
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,352
Look, you have a case,
but you don't need one.

799
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:24,274
That dog is yours and you're gonna go
back there and you're gonna get him.

800
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,158
I don't think I can ask her again, Cin.

801
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,038
No, no, no, Ned.

802
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,718
We're not gonna ask, we're gonna take.

803
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,713
- We?
- Yeah. Who's the man?

804
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:38,190
- You are?
- Who's the man, Ned?

805
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,635
Jesus. Me.

806
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,631
Yes, say it. Who's the man?

807
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,030
- Who's the man?
- No, say it... "I'm the man."

808
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,430
- You're the man. I'm the man.
- You're the man! You're the man!

809
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,511
- That's right. I'm the man.
- Say it! Say it!

810
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:50,715
- I'm the man!
- Louder!

811
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,394
- I'm the man!
- Yes! Come on.

812
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,917
- [music plays]
- Pum!

813
00:46:58,080 --> 00:46:59,513
It's a sign.

814
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,951
[indistinct chatter]

815
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,315
<i>[♪ Willie Nelson:
"Midnight Rider"]</i>

816
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:10,315
<i>♪ I gotta run
to keep from hidin'</i>

817
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:15,156
<i>♪ And I'm bound
to keep on ridin'</i>

818
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:20,599
<i>♪ And I got one more
silver dollar</i>

819
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,399
<i>♪ I ain't gonna let 'em
catch me, no</i>

820
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:24,515
<i>♪ I ain't gonna let 'em catch
the midnight rider ♪</i>

821
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:25,795
- Hi.
- Hey.

822
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,399
- Hey.
- [laughs]

823
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,752
[mutters]

824
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,554
Natalie says you haven't
had sex in like a year.

825
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,359
She told you that?

826
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,988
Max and I think you're really cute.

827
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:55,189
Oh, uh...

828
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:57,633
Thanks.

829
00:47:58,280 --> 00:47:59,030
Thanks, Max.

830
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,869
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

831
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,589
I'm sorry, I can't... I'm so sorry.

832
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,119
I can't do it.

833
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,875
I think your erection in my leg
totally threw me.

834
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,952
I'm so sorry, I'm really embarrassed.

835
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,676
I'm so... I'm so...

836
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:42,829
I'm sorry.

837
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,998
- I'm such a jerk.
- You're really not a jerk.

838
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:49,630
No, maybe I should've
tried harder or just...

839
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,792
- You know.
- Ned.

840
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:55,509
Dude, just 'cause you're straight
doesn't mean you're homophobic.

841
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,638
I just feel bad, you know?
They seemed pretty into me.

842
00:48:59,240 --> 00:49:02,312
Well, they'll get over it. Let's...

843
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,152
- We can look around this place.
- Thank you.

844
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,517
- You're welcome.
- Let's try and find you one woman.

845
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,510
- [Ned] Hm! She seems kind of fun.
- Yeah, sex would be awesome,

846
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,477
but then she'd make you
go to rock shows.

847
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,200
- Oh, sweet!
- Really?

848
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:20,433
Sweet? You'd be psyched
to go to some rock club?

849
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,473
See a band called, like, Paint Store...

850
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:25,873
-...or something?
- [laughs] Not really.

851
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,871
No, you don't.

852
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,472
What about those ones over there?

853
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,029
[Jeremy] Lindsay and her friend,
they're gonna analyze every word

854
00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:34,639
of every text you ever send her.

855
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,074
[Ned] I like the name Lindsay.

856
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:37,793
[Jeremy] But they're both named Lindsay.

857
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,475
Look what she's reading, it's like
a novelization of Us Weekly.

858
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:42,834
- [laughs]
- [Jeremy] Exhausting.

859
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,076
[Ned] Ooh, look at that one.
Look at that girl.

860
00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:46,753
[Jeremy] Oh, yeah, that would be great,
if you wanted, you know,

861
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,518
to date your sister!

862
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,433
- What's wrong with my sister?
- Nothing's wrong with your sister.

863
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,909
Why, you wanna date your sister?
You're a wild man.

864
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,548
No, I don't wanna date my sister.
But what about you?

865
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,237
- Me? Date your sister?
- Yeah. Right.

866
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,868
Miranda? What are you talking about?

867
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,235
- Well, it's obvious.
- What's obvious?

868
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,470
That you guys totally love each other.

869
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,431
OK, I love Miranda, but...

870
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,431
- I know.
-...she's bossy.

871
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,716
- [laughs] Yeah. She is.
- She's a bossy person.

872
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:17,759
She's like, "Jeremy, help me move
everything in my apartment around?

873
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,797
You know, it'll only take two minutes."
And then it's like...

874
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,518
- [laughs]
-...all day.

875
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,638
I mean, she's great, she's pretty,
she's very pretty,

876
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,395
that's undeniable,
but relationship-wise and...

877
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,918
...pardon me, but sexually,
I don't know if I could deal with it.

878
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:36,038
[sighs] Every man I meet
is either a dick or a loser.

879
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,875
What about Jeremy? He's not a dick.
And he's not a loser, either.

880
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,994
Well, that's debatable,
he doesn't even have health insurance.

881
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,549
Neither do I,
at least I don't think I do.

882
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,873
- [man] Here you go.
- I just want to meet a real man, Ned.

883
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,634
I asked for that side-by-side,
not swirled. Thanks.

884
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:52,789
- [man] Sure.
- Whatever.

885
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,679
I mean you two are obviously
not headed in that direction.

886
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,434
He thinks the idea
is as ludicrous as you do.

887
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:01,194
Hey, man, can I try some acai berry?

888
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,920
- [man] Yeah.
- Wait, wait. I'm sorry, what?

889
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,157
- Why is that?
- I don't know, I don't know.

890
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,595
What he said, it didn't make any sense.

891
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,320
Why are we even talking about this?
Tell me what he said, Ned.

892
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,997
He said you can be a tad bossy.

893
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,277
[laughs]

894
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,000
And you're not really his type,
physically. That was it, but...

895
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,754
- Wait, what?
- Hey, man, how's pomegranate?

896
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,309
- [man] It's terrific.
- Why, because I'm not 1 4?

897
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:28,112
- [man] How's that?
- [laughing]

898
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,032
Ned, tell me exactly what he said.

899
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,156
- God, do I have to?
- Yes.

900
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,316
[urinating]

901
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,071
[sighs] Fuck.

902
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,348
[indistinct chatter]

903
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:06,395
- [Miranda] So, where's Dylan today?
- [Liz] He had to work.

904
00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:11,759
He's been so edgy and... distant.

905
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,391
[sighs] Liz?

906
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:25,388
Yeah?

907
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:28,398
I think Dylan's having an affair.

908
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:31,349
[laughs] What?

909
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,718
- What are you talking about?
- Ned told me.

910
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,229
Oh, yeah, OK, Ned. [scoffs]

911
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:39,992
Let's face it, I mean...

912
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,038
OK, Ned told me the facts.
I had to put it together.

913
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:47,594
He said that Dylan
was spending a lot of private time...

914
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:51,039
...with the woman in his film, Tatiana.

915
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,719
- Tatiana, she's...
- Naked.

916
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:01,436
Maybe it was some, like,
dance experiment or...

917
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,238
[Miranda] Liz...

918
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,477
- Do popcorn, Uncle Ned.
- In a minute, buddy.

919
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,596
You sure she's gonna be at that concert?

920
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,957
Yeah, she hasn't missed
a Dixie Chicks show in... ten years.

921
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,680
And you're sure that she's
gonna leave Willie Nelson behind?

922
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,633
According to Billy, she hasn't
taken him on an outing in months.

923
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,035
- Poor guy.
- She's such a dick.

924
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,031
- [River] Come on, Uncle Ned.
- All right, Riv, let's go.

925
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:29,269
On your back.

926
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:35,872
- [River laughing]
- [Ned] Ah!

927
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:37,029
Yeah!

928
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:39,716
Yeah, baby!

929
00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:43,873
[Miranda] His whole "I'm saving the
world" thing, it was bullshit, right?

930
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,600
- We always knew it. Fuck him.
- Yeah, fuck him.

931
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:48,796
And his little Russian
ballerina bitch.

932
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:52,350
This is the man I built my life with,
what do you expect?

933
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,478
That I just... throw it all away
or something?

934
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:57,915
- No. I don't know.
- Maybe.

935
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,513
Damn Ned!

936
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,953
- I never should have let him stay.
- This is not Ned's fault.

937
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:04,997
Everything was going fine
until he arrived.

938
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,914
- [Miranda] How is this Ned's fault?
- A family is a very precarious thing.

939
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,674
You guys will see
when you get it together.

940
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,592
[weeping]

941
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,998
OK, Liz, look.

942
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,673
Don't take this the wrong way,

943
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,515
because Dylan is totally
the asshole in this situation for sure.

944
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:25,319
- He's a douchebag.
- I hate his guts. But...

945
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:27,436
...is it possible that...

946
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,791
...you know, maybe he
thought you gave up?

947
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,359
Gave up on what?

948
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,239
You're, you know, this whole...

949
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:41,672
You used to be so hot, Liz. I remember
all my friends lusting after you.

950
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,030
- They thought you were awesome.
- Yes! You had the great boobs,

951
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,509
- and you were always tall and...
- You're still tall.

952
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:50,190
- Yeah.
- Well, what's wrong with me now?

953
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,199
[Miranda] Well, come on...

954
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:57,069
Liz, I mean, look. I don't know.
What's going on with your hair here?

955
00:54:57,240 --> 00:54:59,549
It's like a science experiment
back there.

956
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,595
And I know you own contacts.
You're wearing plastic shoes,

957
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:05,910
and what is this shirt even made of?

958
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,798
- It's flax.
- See? I mean, isn't that a food?

959
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:12,428
- You're wearing food.
- What are you saying?

960
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,478
- If only I looked more like you?
- What? No.

961
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:21,078
Got my hair styled every day and wore
absurd heels that no one can walk in,

962
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:24,073
that maybe my husband wouldn't
be screwing around on me?!

963
00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:26,959
I'm just trying to help!
OK, Liz? That's all!

964
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,190
I hardly think you're in a position
to give man advice!

965
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,555
Jesus Christ, you guys,
all Miranda's saying is just,

966
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,990
Iike, maybe it would be cool
if you just, like,

967
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,752
Iooked semi-fuckable once in a while.

968
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:37,797
- Thank you!
- Oh, God!

969
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,076
I mean, how long has it been
since you've had sex?

970
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:43,550
I don't know! Echo's five months,
so, you know...

971
00:55:43,720 --> 00:55:45,517
- Plus nine, it's like...
- What?!

972
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:47,432
- Plus nine?!
- Are you kidding me?

973
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:51,479
That's, like, over a year!
How can people live like that? That's...

974
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,278
I am different from you.

975
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,591
I have other things to do than
worry about getting my rocks off.

976
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,479
[scoffs] What is that supposed to mean?
You think I'm sleeping around?

977
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,756
- I'm not sleeping around!
- Nobody thinks that.

978
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:03,916
- I didn't say that.
- I love Cindy.

979
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:07,356
- This isn't about you, Nat!
- It's just seduction is your thing,

980
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,080
- your means to self-esteem.
- Ohh!

981
00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:12,435
- I don't care!
- Screw you and screw you!

982
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,478
What did I do? Nat!
What is up your ass?!

983
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,191
Babe, you OK?

984
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,035
- You're all sweaty.
- Babe.

985
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,309
[Ned] They just dump everything on it,
sprinkles and like Oreos.

986
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:33,996
- What about sunflower seeds?
- They're actually good.

987
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:35,315
- They're good?
- Yeah.

988
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:36,469
- What about...
- [crying] River, come on.

989
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:37,789
Sweetie, come on.

990
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,394
Come on, it's time to go, come on.
[sniffles]

991
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:41,879
Come on.

992
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,196
- See ya, buddy.
- See ya.

993
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:46,877
Hey, Riv, check it out.

994
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:49,995
[laughing]

995
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,151
Grow the hell up, Ned.

996
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:00,596
[elevator dings]

997
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,037
Hey, read it last night.
Quite the story.

998
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,354
PR thinks it's gonna get you
on a bunch of talk shows.

999
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,517
[Miranda]
Oh, now you're Mr. Moral High Ground?

1000
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:16,795
[Jeremy] No, I didn't say anything.

1001
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:21,112
I love my brother, but let's be honest,
he doesn't live in the adult world.

1002
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:25,068
Oh, but your story's adult
with all the gory details

1003
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:28,949
- and bitching aside?
- Sometimes in the adult world

1004
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:31,953
we have to do things that,
you know, we're not very pro...

1005
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,190
Let's just drop it,
because you wouldn't understand.

1006
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,874
I wouldn't understand?
Why wouldn't I understand?

1007
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:38,996
Why, because I'm an unpublished
sci-fi writer?

1008
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:42,436
- What? Don't be ridiculous.
- Oh, no, that's not it. That's not it.

1009
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,996
It's because I don't have health
insurance. That's what it was.

1010
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:49,675
- Did Ned...? I'm gonna murder him.
- I don't know how I found that out.

1011
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,559
- He's...
- Are you helping at all?

1012
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,711
- I'm guiding it.
- You're guiding it?

1013
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:58,190
- Someone has to guide...
- Let go. You weren't doing anything.

1014
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,193
- That's what he said?
- [Miranda] Hey, Ned!

1015
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,511
Really? You had to go and tell Jeremy
about that little stupid thing I said

1016
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,319
about the health insurance?
Why are you such a blabbermouth?

1017
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:10,392
Is that my brush? Ew!
What are you doing?

1018
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:11,788
I don't wanna know.

1019
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,075
Uh...

1020
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:16,949
I'm surprised that you even asked
my opinion on your work,

1021
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:20,590
since... Wait, I'm not even a grown-up?
Is that what it was?

1022
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,318
Ned! That...

1023
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:25,199
OK, what you don't understand
is that my brother is a retard.

1024
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:26,429
- [Jeremy] Oh, OK.
- That's true.

1025
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:27,715
[Miranda] See? Thank you.

1026
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:31,077
No, I mean, she didn't say that at all.

1027
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:33,276
What she was that
you're not like a real man.

1028
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:35,238
- Ned! Wait!
- That's much better.

1029
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:37,595
- No...
- That's great. Thank you, Miranda.

1030
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:40,433
Oh, no, no, no, no! This is just...

1031
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,670
This is just a breakdown
of communication.

1032
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,513
- Obviously. Really nice, Miranda.
- Don't try to make me feel bad

1033
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:49,389
about any of this when, according
to you, I'm... What was it, Ned?

1034
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,120
-...hideously ugly.
- What?

1035
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,713
- Yeah.
- I didn't say that.

1036
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,751
Miranda, I would never
say that about you.

1037
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:59,071
- He so didn't say that about you.
- Thank you, tell her I didn't say that.

1038
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:02,516
He said your personality gets in the way
of your looks, your very good looks.

1039
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:05,359
Dude... do you have Tourettes?

1040
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,630
- What the fuck?
- Wow.

1041
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,279
This is much worse
than I thought it was.

1042
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:11,948
- I didn't say that.
- I don't even know why I care.

1043
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:14,953
Because the idea of the two of you
sitting around, talking about girls,

1044
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,270
is so pathetic, it's almost funny.

1045
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:18,759
It's almost funny?

1046
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:20,353
I don't see you laughing right now.

1047
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:22,954
It doesn't seem like
you think it's funny at all.

1048
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:27,078
OK, um, here's your story.

1049
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,630
Thank you for letting me read
your wonderful article.

1050
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,475
Hope you sleep well. Ned, you might
wanna take a look at that.

1051
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:36,518
- See you later.
- Jer.

1052
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:39,878
- Give me that, Ned!
- [door slams]

1053
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:41,473
[sighs]

1054
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,832
Keep your mouth shut, Ned,
just keep it shut!

1055
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,672
- Sorry.
- He's like my best friend.

1056
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,956
- Thanks a lot!
- I'm sorry.

1057
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:53,715
This is like in prison
when I told Bob about Jose.

1058
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,790
I'm pretty sure it's nothing like that.

1059
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:01,511
I mean, is there anything
more bothersome than a mom cliché?

1060
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:03,671
Mom's heart is in the right place.

1061
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:04,989
- Mom means well.
- [chuckles]

1062
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:09,671
Or, the crowning glory
of terrible mom clichés...

1063
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:13,519
I mean...

1064
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:16,669
Um...

1065
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,116
I'm gonna be...

1066
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:24,152
...right back.

1067
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:35,478
[Natalie] What?

1068
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:37,437
Nat, are you all right?

1069
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:42,953
Are you sick?

1070
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,868
- I'm pregnant.
- What?

1071
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:56,152
Oh, my God, that...!
Congratulations, man!

1072
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,436
That's so awesome for you guys.

1073
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,196
God, what do I fucking do?

1074
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,759
Well... this sounds weird,

1075
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,070
but do you think you're not as much
of a lesbian as you thought?

1076
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:11,995
No! No, it was just a thing.
God, I fucking love Cindy.

1077
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,115
You know... just tell her the truth.

1078
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:18,439
She loves you.
Maybe she'll be psyched to have a kid.

1079
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:20,318
What? Yeah,
she's gonna be really psyched.

1080
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:24,029
She's gonna come with me to pick out
a fucking changing table. Come on!

1081
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:27,437
I cheated on her, I got pregnant,
she should be pissed.

1082
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,397
I don't wanna fuck it up with her, Ned.

1083
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:31,278
If she loves you, she'll forgive you.

1084
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:34,992
I can't have this child.

1085
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:37,314
[moans]

1086
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,677
- Holy shit, I've destroyed my life.
- [thunder rumbles]

1087
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:46,790
- You're having an affair, aren't you?
- [chuckles]

1088
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:50,953
- With Tatiana.
- With Tatiana, are you crazy?

1089
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:53,588
Who gave you that idea?

1090
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:57,510
- Your ludicrous brother?
- What does it matter?

1091
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:01,315
Apparently, you're shooting
the movie naked.

1092
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:04,119
- What?
- Even the way you say her name.

1093
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:06,709
- [scoffs]
- T atiana.

1094
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,474
You know, you have
this amazing talent

1095
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,596
for making me feel
like a second-class citizen.

1096
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:17,235
- What do you mean?
- I mean, in your own meek, mousy way

1097
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:21,359
you have this brilliant knack
of getting your own way.

1098
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:24,918
I don't understand
what you're talking about.

1099
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:30,078
[sobs] Wait, what does this
have to do with you and T atiana?

1100
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:32,879
I never wanted him here,
but you insisted that he stay,

1101
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,794
even making me feel like a criminal for
suggesting that he stay somewhere else.

1102
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:41,112
This is bullshit, Dylan.
You're completely evading the issue!

1103
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,798
It's not a trick question.
Are you or aren't you sleeping with her?

1104
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:47,835
[sighs]

1105
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:59,358
What are you doing?

1106
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:02,876
I'm leaving this house
before you make me lose my temper

1107
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:04,792
in front of my children.

1108
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:09,589
[sighs]

1109
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:18,638
You couldn't wear pants, Ned?

1110
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:21,473
OK, I took the liberty
of writing up a checklist,

1111
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,835
if you could read it over carefully,
please.

1112
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,274
That's just the checklist, Ned.

1113
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:33,157
Wait, you put all
of this in your article?

1114
01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:35,550
- That stuff was private.
- Well...

1115
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:37,597
Did she ever say it was off the record?

1116
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,672
Why would she say it was off the record,
we were just having a conversation.

1117
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:44,753
Ned, come on, she knew
you and I were a team.

1118
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:47,516
She called us a team
the first time that we met.

1119
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:49,238
Yeah, and then you said
we weren't a team.

1120
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:51,072
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.

1121
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:53,879
I remember precisely,
'cause I thought it was pretty mean.

1122
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:56,110
I dropped everything
to drive you around that day.

1123
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:58,236
All the documentary guys
were going for dim sum.

1124
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:01,472
You know what?
The important thing at this point

1125
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:04,916
is whether this information is true.

1126
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:06,957
It's all we need to know, Ned.

1127
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,758
Is this true?

1128
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:13,912
I'm gonna bring Darren in on this.

1129
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:21,073
Fuck. Fuckity-fuck, Ned,
she's getting a lawyer.

1130
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,708
How could you do this to a person?
That's so messed up.

1131
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:28,675
How can you do this to me?
Just say "Yes, this happened."

1132
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:32,111
You're not even lying or anything.
It is true, so just...

1133
01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:36,432
Fuck. Look, Ned, I am begging you.
Don't fucking do this to me, please?

1134
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:38,870
Come on. All right, here they come.

1135
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,393
Hi, Darren, how are you?

1136
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,549
Ah. I'm not happy at the way this
story's been put together, Miranda.

1137
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:46,914
[Robbie] I'm not either.

1138
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,594
You'll have to vouch for the veracity
of the story yourself, Ned.

1139
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,320
- Like right now?
- That's right. Right now.

1140
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:54,072
I need to hear it.

1141
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:58,271
[sighs]

1142
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:05,637
- Hey, Miranda.
- Hey, T ed.

1143
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:19,712
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Ahh!

1144
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:22,390
- You couldn't just fucking say yes?
- Sorry.

1145
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,556
How could you do that to me, Ned?

1146
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:25,757
[elevator dings]

1147
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:28,957
[scoffs] Miranda's such a bitch
sometimes.

1148
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:32,112
I feel kind of bad,
it was a big opportunity for her.

1149
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,788
For what?
Selling her soul for a story?

1150
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,349
There was just
a breakdown of communication.

1151
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:38,919
Whatever.

1152
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:42,908
Looks like you found a use for
your mom's post 9/1 1 escape raft.

1153
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:44,678
It's cool. Sleep well, bud.

1154
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:50,190
- Tomorrow, Operation Free Willie.
- Right on.

1155
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:52,028
Have a good night.

1156
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:54,714
If you get cold,
there are coats up in the...

1157
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:56,836
- Oh, OK.
- Oh, and if you need to pee?

1158
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,639
- There's a kitty litter box right here.
- [laughs]

1159
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:01,999
Nat.

1160
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:06,159
- [whispers] How's it going?
- Oh. Great.

1161
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:09,039
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Thanks so much for your advice.

1162
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,873
- Oh, my God. For sure. No.
- That was awesome.

1163
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:15,510
I mean, she's being exceptionally cool.

1164
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:19,552
She is exceptionally cool.

1165
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,837
- [Cindy] Nat, where are my ear plugs?
- Night, Ned.

1166
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:24,834
Night, Nat.

1167
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:25,995
<i>[♪ Willie Nelson: "Ol' Blue"]</i>

1168
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:28,594
<i>♪ I had a dog</i>

1169
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:31,718
<i>♪ And his name was Blue</i>

1170
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,388
<i>♪ I'll tell you what</i>

1171
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:37,916
<i>♪ Ol' Blue would do</i>

1172
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,150
<i>♪ Yeah, Blue</i>

1173
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:42,993
<i>♪ Yeah, Blue
Yeah, Blue</i>

1174
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:46,920
<i>♪ He'd go out</i>

1175
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:50,072
<i>♪ Every night about dark</i>

1176
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:52,913
<i>♪ And it wouldn't be long</i>

1177
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,230
<i>♪ 'Til you'd hear him bark</i>

1178
01:06:56,880 --> 01:06:58,996
<i>♪ Yeah, Blue</i>

1179
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:01,316
<i>♪ Yeah, Blue
Yeah, Blue ♪</i>

1180
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:13,918
[engine shuts off]

1181
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:16,957
[Ned] No way, they're home!

1182
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,951
Jesus, what do we do?

1183
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:21,394
We go get Willie Nelson.

1184
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:26,112
[Billy] Are you mad about
the rooster thing?

1185
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:28,475
[Janet] Well, a little bit mad
about the fucking rooster.

1186
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:30,676
[Billy] Well, I'm telling you,
he's depressed.

1187
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:34,469
And I'm telling you, there's no fucking
way a rooster is depressed, Billy.

1188
01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:38,713
[Billy] When animals are depressed, man,
they, like, sleep more.

1189
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:40,393
[whispers] Sorry, didn't mean to touch
your boob.

1190
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:44,439
[Billy] Humans do it, roosters do it,
then they don't crow in the morning.

1191
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:46,238
- That's why I overslept.
- I'm so psyched

1192
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:50,552
- you and Nat weathered that storm.
- Yeah, we're good. We're good.

1193
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:53,996
And to power through infidelity,
man, you can do that,

1194
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:55,832
you can do anything.

1195
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,479
Oh, come on!

1196
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:03,831
Locked? She locked it?

1197
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:06,632
Hold on. Right here.

1198
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:13,830
[grunts]

1199
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:17,599
Come in.

1200
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:24,198
Hey, you know, that Christian, he's kind
of lame, but he's really handsome.

1201
01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:27,033
So there's a good chance your baby
is going to be very striking.

1202
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:29,760
- [barking]
- Oh!

1203
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:33,593
Buddy!

1204
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:35,591
[kissing] I missed you so much!

1205
01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:38,797
Hey, Nat. Oh, no,
I'm just with your brother

1206
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:42,032
and he just told me some real
interesting news.

1207
01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:43,189
- No!
- Nothing,

1208
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:45,191
just that you're apparently pregnant

1209
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:49,399
with the spawn
of that fucking cult-y fuck fuck!

1210
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,196
- [barking]
- Yeah, sure. She wants to talk to you.

1211
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:55,032
- [barking]
- [Ned whispering] No, no.

1212
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,553
- Hello?
- Oh, shoot.

1213
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:02,315
- Hey, Nat. Now's not a great time.
- [Janet] Who's here?

1214
01:09:02,480 --> 01:09:03,674
Janet, hey, what's up?

1215
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,230
- Can I call you back?
- Jesus Christ.

1216
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:10,039
- Yeah, it's me!
- What's going on, how's it going?

1217
01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:13,556
- [Cindy] You don't sound very sorry!
- You thought you'd come and take him?

1218
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:16,188
- Who the fuck is this?
- [Cindy] You're gonna blame Ned?

1219
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:18,476
That's your tactic? [laughs]

1220
01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:21,950
OK, I really didn't want to get
litigious, but I brought a lawyer.

1221
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:26,432
[Cindy] I am sorry I don't have a fat,
throbbing cock for you!

1222
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,551
That's some Ivy League
shit out there, man.

1223
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:30,358
- [Cindy] Really?
- Cindy!

1224
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:34,519
You wouldn't, would you, Nat? 'Cause
you're fucking selfish, that's why.

1225
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:37,069
No, no, no! I wanna
talk about this now, damn it!

1226
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,800
- I need your help, Cindy. Could you...?
- Really? An accident?!

1227
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:42,474
An accident is when you
fall off your fucking bike!

1228
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,074
- Not when you fuck somebody!
- Hey, Ned. What's up, man?

1229
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:48,753
- Hey, man.
- Caught the master criminal here

1230
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:51,115
trying to steal Willie Nelson.

1231
01:09:51,280 --> 01:09:54,272
What happened
to the Dixie Chicks show?

1232
01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:58,399
The Dixie Chicks? That's next Thursday.

1233
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:00,357
- Right, Janet?
- Yeah.

1234
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:02,875
- Next Thursday.
- When I talked to you last week,

1235
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:07,272
- you said it was next Thursday.
- Oh. It is. Next Thursday.

1236
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:09,908
Yeah, but when I talked to you a week
ago, you said "Next Thursday."

1237
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:11,229
I'm thinking, today.

1238
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:13,789
So it's better for you
if I say "Next, next Thursday"?

1239
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:16,713
It's not better now. I thought you were
gonna be at the Dixie Chicks concert.

1240
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:21,317
Yeah, but just for future reference,
like for concerts in the future.

1241
01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:23,311
- What, are you guys fucking?
- [car door slams]

1242
01:10:23,480 --> 01:10:26,756
Oh, God! Cindy! Cindy!

1243
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:32,349
Oh! Dude! Man, there goes my ride.

1244
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:35,956
That's OK, I can give you a lift.
Or no, I can't.

1245
01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:40,950
This can't be happening.

1246
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,309
I never should have let Ned stay here.

1247
01:10:45,480 --> 01:10:47,072
What about what Ned did to me?

1248
01:10:47,240 --> 01:10:51,153
I take him to work, he hangs me
out to dry in front of everyone.

1249
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:54,153
Hang on,
I'm getting call waiting. Hello?

1250
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:57,869
Our idiot brother
just ruined my fucking life.

1251
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,512
You know you'll always
have a place here with me.

1252
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:04,557
Thanks, Mom.

1253
01:11:05,160 --> 01:11:07,355
I thought the girls
wouldn't want you hanging around,

1254
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:11,308
they've got too much stuff going on
to bother with people like us.

1255
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:17,837
All right then, that's it.

1256
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:20,076
I will see you in three weeks.

1257
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:23,830
Hey, you know,
I've been meaning to tell you.

1258
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,275
You're doing
a really good thing here, Omar.

1259
01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:30,513
- [laughs]
- Seriously. You talk to us screw-ups,

1260
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:33,314
you give us a reason
for getting out of bed in the morning.

1261
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:35,793
Thanks, man.

1262
01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,952
So you get out of bed again
in another three weeks, OK?

1263
01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:41,634
- [Chuckles] I'll do it.
- I appreciate the compliment.

1264
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:44,473
It's rare that we get love
from the clients.

1265
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:46,551
Well, you're a good dude.

1266
01:11:47,240 --> 01:11:50,073
And I just needed this appointment
today, I'm having a tough go of it.

1267
01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:55,479
I swear, I try and do good,
but I just screw it up.

1268
01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:59,197
Man, I screwed it up with my sisters,
I'm back living with my mom.

1269
01:11:59,720 --> 01:12:02,712
On top of it all, I broke down
and smoked a joint

1270
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:04,399
with the kid that lives
across the street.

1271
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:05,993
OK, I didn't just hear that.

1272
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:09,550
I said I broke down and smoked a joint
with the kid who lives across...

1273
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:12,194
What are you doing?
Hey! Ned, why are you telling me this?

1274
01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:15,432
I just need to unload, man.
That's part of why I'm here, right?

1275
01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:19,997
I'm not your therapist, Ned. You don't
tell your parole officer you got high.

1276
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:23,436
Now I have to report you
or else I could lose my job.

1277
01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:29,759
Seriously? Can you forget I said that?

1278
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:34,429
- No, Ned, I can't.
- Oh, fuck.

1279
01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:35,874
[sighs]

1280
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:37,559
[toilet flushing]

1281
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:40,555
You OK?

1282
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,957
[mother] It's an ulcer, I'm telling you.

1283
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:45,758
Too many late nights.

1284
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:48,030
Did you call Dr. Silverman?

1285
01:12:48,200 --> 01:12:49,952
I will.

1286
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:54,436
Oh, yeah,
it's my fault you're throwing up.

1287
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:57,629
- [mother] Who's ready for charades?
- Me!

1288
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:00,631
Mom, nobody's in the mood.

1289
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:02,836
[mother] Great,
go and get the pens and paper.

1290
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:05,519
Television show.

1291
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:07,079
Three words.

1292
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:11,154
Gimme A Break.

1293
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:15,074
- That was quick.
- I put it in.

1294
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:16,755
All right, guys.

1295
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:20,036
River, this one's for you.

1296
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:23,640
All right, River, come on!
Here we go!

1297
01:13:28,560 --> 01:13:29,834
Wizard of Oz.

1298
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,753
- Yeah.
- [Liz] Well done, sweetie.

1299
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,195
I guess it's me.

1300
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:41,673
OK, it's a movie.

1301
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,079
Space?

1302
01:13:44,240 --> 01:13:45,958
Space, space, Star Wars!

1303
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:48,554
- Space... No.
- [River] Space Frogs!

1304
01:13:49,080 --> 01:13:51,355
- Crazy Hands!
- Good, Crazy Hands?

1305
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:54,080
Crazy Heart.
"Crazy Little Thing Called Love."

1306
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:56,999
- Uncle Ned!
- Me. Ned, Ned. Nedly, Nedrick.

1307
01:13:57,200 --> 01:14:00,317
- Me, me, Ned!
- Why aren't you guys guessing?

1308
01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:02,516
- The Jerk?
- Har har.

1309
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:04,511
- OK, guys, come on, guys.
- Jackass.

1310
01:14:04,680 --> 01:14:06,671
[Natalie] You wanna get in on this
party, Liz?

1311
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:09,354
The Man Who Just Ruined My Marriage.

1312
01:14:10,440 --> 01:14:13,159
Don't forget Lassie.
'Cause you miss your doggie.

1313
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:14,355
- Ha ha ha ha.
- [girls laughing]

1314
01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:18,354
- Can you please just play the game?
- We are playing.

1315
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:20,112
No, you're not playing,
you're not at all.

1316
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:21,190
- We are.
- [Ned] No, you're not.

1317
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,237
- Yeah, we're kind of playing.
- [Ned] You're kind of not playing.

1318
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:26,710
- Those were great guesses, I thought.
- When you put your own clue in,

1319
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:28,279
you're not allowed to guess.
You know that.

1320
01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:30,869
- I bent the rules.
- You didn't bend the rules.

1321
01:14:31,040 --> 01:14:35,352
You broke them and that just
ruins it for everyone, all right?

1322
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:36,919
I know you've got a really
important life, Miranda,

1323
01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:41,392
but some of us like to sit around, enjoy
our family, and play a game of charades.

1324
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:42,959
[laughing]

1325
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:45,879
What's so funny, Nat?
By the way, when a kid goes,

1326
01:14:46,080 --> 01:14:48,799
you should at least give him
the opportunity to act out his hint.

1327
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,560
All right? Before you jump in
with the answer, even if you know it.

1328
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:55,076
It's the same stupid clue
Mom always puts in for River.

1329
01:14:55,240 --> 01:14:58,915
So what? You're so cool,
you're just too bored, is that it?!

1330
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:01,753
For God's sake, Ned, we have
other things on our mind.

1331
01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:03,239
So you make it miserable for everybody?

1332
01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:06,392
- OK, Ned, we're gonna play.
- Let's get serious, girls.

1333
01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:07,919
Just play the fucking game!

1334
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:09,399
[chatter silences]

1335
01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:14,549
Goddamn it, I just want
to sit around with my family

1336
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:16,551
and play a fucking game of charades!

1337
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:29,555
I just wanna sit
and I just wanna play the game.

1338
01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:31,438
I wanna play charades,
what's the big deal about that?

1339
01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:33,636
Why can't you all just play?

1340
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:39,840
[doorbell rings]

1341
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:41,274
Sorry, Riv.

1342
01:15:45,280 --> 01:15:47,953
- [Omar] Hello, Mrs. Rochlin?
- Yes.

1343
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:51,399
Officer Omar Coleman. Is your son home?

1344
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:54,472
He was just frustrated, officer.

1345
01:15:54,640 --> 01:15:57,313
He gets very excited
playing parlor games.

1346
01:15:57,480 --> 01:15:59,198
It's under control now.

1347
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:00,952
- Oh, my God.
- Omar.

1348
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:06,549
Mr. Rochlin, sir,
I suggest you step outside.

1349
01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:09,352
[Miranda] What's going on?

1350
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:15,516
- [man] Nedrick Rochlin?
- Yeah.

1351
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:19,596
- You made bail.
- Really? Who?

1352
01:16:21,320 --> 01:16:24,995
Miranda Rochlin. Just sign here,
we'll process you out.

1353
01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:35,835
- No, I'm good.
- What?

1354
01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:37,831
No, thanks. I'm gonna stay here, man.

1355
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,353
Thank you.

1356
01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,719
Look, there's nothing I can do.
He refused to sign.

1357
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:49,519
- This is classic Ned.
- Officer, I'm his mother.

1358
01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:52,831
Just bring him out here.
He probably doesn't understand the form.

1359
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:54,553
That's not how we do it, ma'am.

1360
01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:58,392
- Can I speak to your supervisor?
- No.

1361
01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:01,872
Mom, if he doesn't want to be
released to us, we can't force him.

1362
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:05,999
Excuse me, sir, would it be possible
for my son to see him?

1363
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:10,875
I know you're really mad at my mom
and Aunt Natalie and Aunt Miranda.

1364
01:17:11,040 --> 01:17:13,554
But they all feel really sorry, I swear.

1365
01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:18,710
River, I want you to go tell your mom
and your aunts something for me, OK?

1366
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,108
Sure, Uncle Ned.

1367
01:17:20,840 --> 01:17:23,400
- Go fuck yourselves.
- River!

1368
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:25,710
That's what he said.

1369
01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:38,075
Hey guys, I know how to get Uncle Ned
to leave prison.

1370
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:07,399
- Well, hello.
- [engine shuts off]

1371
01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:11,434
- Hi.
- [Janet] The Rochlin girls.

1372
01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:15,675
This is a pleasant
and unexpected surprise.

1373
01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:19,276
- The farm looks beautiful, Janet.
- Oh, thanks, Liz.

1374
01:18:19,440 --> 01:18:22,989
So, what brings you all up here?

1375
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:24,389
Um...

1376
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:29,630
We were practically family, Janet.

1377
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,712
And we thought... um...

1378
01:18:34,040 --> 01:18:36,349
...it would be good
to get some closure, you know?

1379
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:38,278
Yeah, that and we came for Ned's dog.

1380
01:18:38,480 --> 01:18:42,155
[laughs] So he roped
the whole family in, huh?

1381
01:18:43,360 --> 01:18:46,113
Well, forget it.
Willie Nelson isn't leaving.

1382
01:18:46,720 --> 01:18:48,153
It's what's best for him.

1383
01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:51,995
Janet, Ned needs
Willie Nelson's company right now.

1384
01:18:53,480 --> 01:18:55,311
- Emotionally...
- Look,

1385
01:18:55,480 --> 01:18:58,472
I'm not giving that
irresponsible man-child my dog.

1386
01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:00,437
Come on, Janet, it's just a dog.

1387
01:19:00,600 --> 01:19:02,989
Uh... to you, maybe, Natalie.

1388
01:19:03,160 --> 01:19:05,151
To me, Willie Nelson
is a dear, dear friend.

1389
01:19:05,320 --> 01:19:07,834
- That is a load of crap, Janet.
- I love that dog!

1390
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:11,913
Nobody loves that dog
the way Ned loves that dog.

1391
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:16,790
Nobody loves anything
as unconditionally as Ned loves.

1392
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:21,069
[gasps]

1393
01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:22,958
He's in jail, Janet.

1394
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:24,678
- [Janet] Oh, my God.
- He needs our help.

1395
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:26,319
That was fast.
What did he do this time?

1396
01:19:26,480 --> 01:19:30,439
He didn't do shit.
We put him there, all of us.

1397
01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:31,999
Including you, Janet.

1398
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:35,033
I am not gonna stand here
and be insulted on my own porch.

1399
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:38,988
- I'll insult you right here.
- I'm a pacifist. I don't play that way.

1400
01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:41,628
I'm gonna peace you in the side of
the head if you don't give us the dog.

1401
01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:44,473
I'm not gonna receive that
with anything but love.

1402
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:46,758
We are not leaving.

1403
01:19:51,280 --> 01:19:53,111
OK, I love that tactic.

1404
01:19:55,080 --> 01:19:57,150
Billy, get me the phone.

1405
01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:03,149
Janny, where's the dog bowl
that he loves so much?

1406
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:05,590
- Billy, what are you doing?
- Let's go. Come on.

1407
01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:09,116
- What are you doing?
- Hey, it's his dog, man.

1408
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:13,199
Billy, put the dog in the house.
Put the dog in the house, Billy!

1409
01:20:13,360 --> 01:20:15,954
Ilene, you can't take this dog!
This is his home!

1410
01:20:16,160 --> 01:20:18,879
Go back to your fruits
and vegetables, honey.

1411
01:20:19,080 --> 01:20:20,911
William! Billy!

1412
01:20:21,080 --> 01:20:23,548
What the fuck are you doing?
Get the dog!

1413
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:27,429
- Hey, easy language, man.
- [dog barking]

1414
01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:30,273
- Tell Ned we said, "Hey."
- [Miranda] Thanks, Billy.

1415
01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:36,910
[dog barking]

1416
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:42,230
Willie! Willie!

1417
01:20:42,440 --> 01:20:44,476
Oh, thank God, Willie Nelson!

1418
01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:46,596
Yeah, buddy! Willie!

1419
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,591
- [barking]
- Yeah! Hey, buddy!

1420
01:20:48,760 --> 01:20:51,672
<i>♪ When you're hot and you're
cold, not always easy to hold</i>

1421
01:20:51,840 --> 01:20:54,070
<i>♪ And you're hard to impress</i>

1422
01:20:54,280 --> 01:20:56,510
<i>♪ Sounds funny
But you might be the best</i>

1423
01:20:56,680 --> 01:20:57,749
Want some?

1424
01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:01,515
<i>- ♪ Thing that I have
- Not the whole thing! [laughs]</i>

1425
01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:04,752
<i>♪ 'Cause whenever you've gone
and I'm left all alone</i>

1426
01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:07,349
<i>♪ Well, the world
seems worse</i>

1427
01:21:07,520 --> 01:21:10,478
<i>♪ No, I didn't really
like you at first</i>

1428
01:21:10,640 --> 01:21:12,949
<i>♪ I was wrong about that</i>

1429
01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:17,111
<i>♪ So wherever I go</i>

1430
01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:19,669
<i>♪ I'm taking you with me</i>

1431
01:21:20,640 --> 01:21:23,552
<i>♪ Wherever I go</i>

1432
01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:27,235
<i>♪ You're coming along</i>

1433
01:21:28,920 --> 01:21:31,434
Hey, Jeremy. Uh, is it...

1434
01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:34,237
...crazy to think we...

1435
01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:39,918
<i>♪ That's where you belong</i>

1436
01:21:40,120 --> 01:21:43,078
I know you're not
gonna call me back, but, um...

1437
01:21:44,440 --> 01:21:46,237
One more thing...

1438
01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:49,472
Remember the time
I missed your awards dinner?

1439
01:21:51,280 --> 01:21:53,589
Well, I wasn't really working.

1440
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:57,156
I was at home watching
Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

1441
01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:59,390
I'm sorry. Um... what else?

1442
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:02,512
<i>♪ So wherever I go</i>

1443
01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:05,797
<i>♪ I'm taking you with me</i>

1444
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:08,872
<i>♪ Wherever I go</i>

1445
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:12,316
<i>♪ You're coming along</i>

1446
01:22:12,480 --> 01:22:15,313
<i>♪ You're in my heart ♪</i>

1447
01:22:15,480 --> 01:22:17,357
- Ah!
- Oh!

1448
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:20,829
Jeremy and I were talking,

1449
01:22:21,040 --> 01:22:23,429
he has a friend who's also
going through a divorce.

1450
01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:26,194
And he works in Poverty at the UN.

1451
01:22:26,800 --> 01:22:28,358
He's really nice and really funny.

1452
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:31,190
He does pottery at the UN?

1453
01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:35,956
I mean, if he's a friend of Jeremy's,
then I guess I could give it a go.

1454
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:37,553
- Right?
- What's his name?

1455
01:22:38,960 --> 01:22:41,030
[Miranda] Roger... Maybe Roger.

1456
01:22:42,720 --> 01:22:43,550
What?

1457
01:22:43,720 --> 01:22:46,871
Um... That was Cindy.

1458
01:22:47,040 --> 01:22:49,759
She wants to come with me tomorrow
to the OB/GYN.

1459
01:22:49,920 --> 01:22:51,797
[all] Oh!

1460
01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:53,473
We're getting Cindy.

1461
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:55,392
- [laughter]
- That's great, Nat.

1462
01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:57,835
Maybe going all "Honest Ned"
on her worked.

1463
01:22:58,520 --> 01:23:00,556
- You don't have to thank me. It's OK.
- Thank you, Ned.

1464
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:03,393
- [laughter]
- You're gonna be the best uncle.

1465
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:05,869
- That's sweet.
- Aw, he is the best uncle.

1466
01:23:06,080 --> 01:23:09,516
I can't wait. You better come visit me.

1467
01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:13,714
- Come visit where?
- What do you mean?

1468
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:20,079
I've been wanting to tell you guys.
I think it's time for me to move on.

1469
01:23:22,280 --> 01:23:24,350
- No.
- Move on? Move on where?

1470
01:23:25,880 --> 01:23:27,393
No. I mean...

1471
01:23:27,600 --> 01:23:30,751
You know we just love having you
in our house. Don't you know that?

1472
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:32,672
Oh, I do know that, and I love you too.

1473
01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:36,674
But the city's no place
for Willie Nelson or for me.

1474
01:23:36,840 --> 01:23:39,070
I feel like I'm gonna cry.

1475
01:23:39,280 --> 01:23:42,113
You guys are gonna be great.
My work here is done.

1476
01:23:42,280 --> 01:23:44,874
Who's gonna watch sci-fi with Jeremy?
I can't always do it.

1477
01:23:45,080 --> 01:23:47,548
- Who's gonna babysit my kid for free?
- Yeah, who?

1478
01:23:47,720 --> 01:23:49,711
- [music plays]
- [laughter]

1479
01:23:57,400 --> 01:23:59,197
[Ned] They're brand new,
I just made them yesterday.

1480
01:23:59,360 --> 01:24:01,874
So you're getting some really
fresh candles. All right.

1481
01:24:02,040 --> 01:24:04,634
Have a great Shabbos with those.
Thanks a lot.

1482
01:24:07,720 --> 01:24:10,951
Anyway, what I was saying though,
is people recycle cans,

1483
01:24:11,120 --> 01:24:14,476
they recycle papers, why not candles?

1484
01:24:14,640 --> 01:24:16,949
I say we put a bin out and let people
bring back their old drippings

1485
01:24:17,120 --> 01:24:19,998
- at their convenience.
- It's like those bags that say

1486
01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:21,838
"I used to be a plastic bottle."

1487
01:24:22,440 --> 01:24:24,874
We could have a bin that said:
"I used to be another candle."

1488
01:24:25,080 --> 01:24:27,753
That's a great idea.
And when they bring in those candles,

1489
01:24:27,920 --> 01:24:30,718
we'll put them in another bin that says:
"I used to be another another candle."

1490
01:24:30,880 --> 01:24:32,871
Yeah, eventually we could
just have one that said:

1491
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:34,758
"Trust me,
I used to be a lot of candles."

1492
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,109
"I've been a lot of candles."

1493
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:38,236
"Trust me, man,
I've been other candles."

1494
01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:39,549
[laughs]

1495
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:41,830
Hey, can I get your
honest opinion on something?

1496
01:24:42,000 --> 01:24:43,149
- Sure.
- OK.

1497
01:24:43,800 --> 01:24:45,153
- Be honest with me.
- Of course.

1498
01:24:46,480 --> 01:24:48,152
Do you think this is an ugly candle?

1499
01:24:48,320 --> 01:24:51,676
No way, man. There's no such thing
as an ugly homemade candle.

1500
01:24:51,840 --> 01:24:53,159
- Really?
- Yeah.

1501
01:24:53,840 --> 01:24:54,989
- Good.
- You know what?

1502
01:24:55,160 --> 01:24:58,391
We should send, like, just a bunch
of candles to Janet as a thank you.

1503
01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:02,549
Totally. To thank her
for introducing us and everything?

1504
01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:04,918
Isn't it funny how life works?

1505
01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:08,874
I love it. Just a couple of guys
and a dog, making candles.

1506
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:11,073
What a cliché.

1507
01:25:13,440 --> 01:25:14,759
Hey, Willie.

1508
01:25:16,960 --> 01:25:18,359
Willie Nelson.

1509
01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,318
Hey, man, have you seen Willie Nelson?

1510
01:25:23,480 --> 01:25:25,357
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
- When?

1511
01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:29,195
Oh, you mean recently? No. I just meant
in general, I have seen him.

1512
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:33,433
Willie Nelson?

1513
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:35,715
Willie?

1514
01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:39,233
Willie Nelson!

1515
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:42,673
Willie?

1516
01:25:44,600 --> 01:25:46,238
Willie Nelson!

1517
01:25:47,440 --> 01:25:49,112
Willie Nelson!

1518
01:25:49,840 --> 01:25:51,558
Willie Nelson!

1519
01:25:52,560 --> 01:25:53,549
[barking]

1520
01:25:53,720 --> 01:25:56,154
Oh, God! Willie Nelson.

1521
01:25:56,320 --> 01:25:58,914
Oh, buddy. Willie.

1522
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:01,230
Hi, hi.

1523
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:05,357
- Hi, guys. You scared me to death.
- [woman] Dolly?

1524
01:26:05,520 --> 01:26:07,397
- Oh, yeah.
- Dolly?

1525
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:09,433
Dolly!

1526
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:12,595
Hey, come here.

1527
01:26:12,760 --> 01:26:14,273
What are you doing?

1528
01:26:14,480 --> 01:26:17,153
Hi. Where did you go?

1529
01:26:17,320 --> 01:26:20,073
- He ran off, scared me to death.
- So did she.

1530
01:26:20,240 --> 01:26:21,912
- Sorry about that?
- Why do you do that, guys?

1531
01:26:22,080 --> 01:26:25,356
[laughs] I panicked, man. Oh, my God,
I was running all through town

1532
01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:27,556
- yelling, like...
- I was in the woods. [laughs]

1533
01:26:27,720 --> 01:26:30,678
- I had no idea where she had gone.
- She's a cutie, my God.

1534
01:26:30,840 --> 01:26:33,877
Thank you.
Yes, isn't that right, Dolly Parton?

1535
01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:39,116
- Gorgeous girl.
- Your dog's name is Dolly Parton?

1536
01:26:39,840 --> 01:26:44,550
Yeah, I know, stupid, but...
I love Dolly Parton, so...

1537
01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:46,388
What's his name?

1538
01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:49,119
Willie Nelson.

1539
01:26:51,040 --> 01:26:52,268
Really?

1540
01:26:53,520 --> 01:26:54,794
<i>[♪ Carole King: "Beautiful"]</i>

1541
01:26:54,960 --> 01:26:57,554
<i>♪ You got to get up
every morning</i>

1542
01:26:57,720 --> 01:27:01,156
<i>♪ With a smile on your face
and show the world</i>

1543
01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:05,519
<i>♪ All the love in your heart</i>

1544
01:27:05,680 --> 01:27:08,353
<i>♪ Then people
gonna treat you better</i>

1545
01:27:08,520 --> 01:27:11,478
<i>♪ You're gonna find
Yes, you will</i>

1546
01:27:11,640 --> 01:27:16,998
<i>♪ That you're beautiful
as you feel</i>

1547
01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:26,151
[laughing] I can't believe you...

1548
01:27:26,320 --> 01:27:27,594
- I'm sorry.
- It's so weird.

1549
01:27:27,800 --> 01:27:29,631
It doesn't even look like you.

1550
01:27:30,480 --> 01:27:32,675
- I see no resemblance.
- [laughing]

1551
01:27:33,440 --> 01:27:34,793
[laughing] I hope not.

1552
01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:38,157
[squeaking]

1553
01:27:40,800 --> 01:27:43,792
How many times did you criticize him
for having bad breath?

1554
01:27:44,640 --> 01:27:46,073
Or for shedding?

1555
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:49,879
Or for farts? [laughs]

1556
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:51,598
Shit.

1557
01:27:53,360 --> 01:27:56,477
[laughs] OK, get out.
How does that feel?

1558
01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:58,996
Which one... Which one's the door?

1559
01:28:02,240 --> 01:28:04,037
You know what?
I'll try them all, never mind.

1560
01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:08,030
Someone just wet his balls.

1561
01:28:10,080 --> 01:28:11,752
[laughing] Oh, my God.

1562
01:28:15,160 --> 01:28:17,799
You wouldn't happen to know where
I could get some... [clicks tongue]

1563
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,234
Know what I mean?

1564
01:28:20,680 --> 01:28:22,716
- What?
- [whistles] Sling.

1565
01:28:22,880 --> 01:28:24,950
Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da.

1566
01:28:25,120 --> 01:28:27,554
- You know what I'm saying?
- I'm so sorry, I don't.

1567
01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:30,553
- Doodly-doo.
- Jazz records?

1568
01:28:32,200 --> 01:28:34,873
- Hot veg.
- Hot veg.

1569
01:28:39,280 --> 01:28:41,191
Ah!

1570
01:28:41,360 --> 01:28:42,952
- That's not a table.
- [laughing]

1571
01:28:43,320 --> 01:28:45,311
[sighs]

1572
01:28:45,720 --> 01:28:47,631
Oh, that was so much fun, Ned.

1573
01:28:48,920 --> 01:28:51,388
[River] Yeah,
why don't you come live with us?

1574
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:53,915
- He's right, you should.
- [laughing]

1575
01:29:01,600 --> 01:29:03,750
What's the funniest thing
you've ever seen?

1576
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,433
Stuff.

1577
01:29:05,600 --> 01:29:08,194
Probably like Anchorman
or something, right?

1578
01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:10,470
- I haven't seen Anchorman.
- What?!

1579
01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:12,517
<i>♪ That you're beautiful</i>

1580
01:29:13,680 --> 01:29:19,038
<i>♪ You're beautiful</i>

1581
01:29:19,200 --> 01:29:22,590
<i>♪ As you feel ♪</i>