I didn't want any of this.
Not the...
Wait!
Wait, stop!
Fuck! We'll get to all of that.
Just...Just relax...
Okay? Jesus.
I didn't want any of this.
Not the grief, not the illness.
Certainly not the heroic voiceover.
That's not who I am.
But sometimes, you gotta do something...
It all started on the other side of town.
I wasn't even involved.
Okay, we've got this hysteric
on line two again.
Now, um, you're saying that this beloved corporation
would knowingly poison its own customers
selling unhealthy slop just to, uh... to what?
Just to boost their own profit margins?
Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Where's the proof?
I'm not an expert on chemical stuff,
but I'm not an idiot either.
I can see it with my own eyes. I can smell it in the air,
- I can feel it on my skin. - Ah, okay, sweetheart.
Oof.
Must be a full moon.
Are you okay?
Got these fuckers now.
- Were you followed? - Don't worry.
You taught me how to spot a tail, right?
Where'd you get this?
BT headquarters.
Got to the 12th floor,
dug into their internal system.
That's risky.
Well, I'm not going to the factory if I can help it.
These bastards.
Oh, my God. You did it.
This is exactly what we need to destroy BTH.
J.J., you've done real good.
Oh, God.
Let's go.
Go.
Come on! I'm right here!
J.J., go!
Here we come.
Little girl!
Oh, my God. Okay, okay.
Goddamn it!
You assholes are too late!
There's nothing you can do to me.
Motherfucker.
You dickless idiots!
Nothing.
Is that all you've got, you fucking pussies?
Halloween assholes!
- This fucking guy. - Is that all you can do?
Fuck each of you.
You've got nothing!
Nothing.
Fucking door!
Nah. She's nobody.
Nothing at all.
Oh?
Oh, fuck, it hurts! Jesus Christ!
Good morning.
We'd lost Shelly a year ago.
Her sweet kid, Wade, and me.
Yeah, the evil stepdad.
I still dream about her most nights.
These days, it's just me and the kid.
It's, uh... It's going good.
Depression, fatigue, aches and pains,
and the malaise of everyday life.
- Don't worry. - Hmm.
At BTH, we've got stuff
for all that stuff and more.
Side effects notwithstanding.
Our line of proprietary cutting-edge
bio-boosters are the way to health, wellness,
and plain old feeling good.
I'm CEO Robert Garbinger. But please, call me Bob.
Thank you, Bob.
Bonnie Dimble here, live from New Chemistry High School
for Varsity Tournament season.
Coach Stanwyck.
What can we expect from the Crimson Beaks this year?
New Chem is gonna nuke 'em.
Wouldn't wanna be the Kennedy Cougars
this Saturday, huh?
Man, fuck the Cougars!
- Oh. Oh, my God... - Fuck the Cougars!
Switching gears, we have a special exclusive
for y'all at home now.
It's the brand-new video
from those far-out shocker rockers
appearing this Saturday
at the St. Roma's Fun Town Festival.
Our hometown anti-heroes, The Killer Nutz.
Roll it, Terry.
Hey, buddy.
These guys, huh?
Got everything, got everything. Okay.
Okay, breakfast is served. Get some.
Ah, that's just junk mail. Uh...
Whoa! Dig the shade. What is that?
Black Thunder?
It's so nice.
Looks really rad.
Mmm.
Um...
Looks great.
Well, I'll just scrape off the black part.
- It's fine. It's okay. - It's okay.
That part's pretty good.
Oh, hey, Dais.
How are you?
Please, don't hurt...
I don't wanna hurt him.
And you don't want to accept
our more-than-reasonable offer
for your piece of property here.
But I promise you...
you're gonna.
Okay, I'll sign.
Ah. Common sense prevails.
I'll be back with the papers...
- tonight. - Now give him back.
Mr. Treats!
Watch it. Whoa!
Get out of the fucking road!
What the fuck are you doing?
My bike's fucking ruined!
That motherfucker saved a cat!
The wages of sin is $12 an hour.
Are you in the... Are you in the yellow zone?
Seems like a yellow. It's not red, is it?
I'm not ten.
Stop with the zones.
Can you do your tapping?
I'm doing
-my tapping right now. -Okay, okay.
What does this look like to you?
You seem flooded.
Why didn't you do anything?
You just stood there while those khaki creeps
pushed Daisy around.
Do what?
Anything.
Oh, Wade.
Sometimes it's...
it's better to do nothing.
You know, you'll see that when you're older.
So you're all set for your big dance piece?
It's not a dance, okay? It's a property movement piece.
Right, property movement piece.
No, no, no, no. It's a very specific thing.
Well, you're gonna crush it. I know that.
Performing's in your blood, man.
Your mom would be so proud.
Yeah.
The BTH employee cafeteria...
...will be closed
until further notice
due to the ongoing clogged toilet issue. Janet.
I can't see!
Need some help over here.
Oh, God!
Somebody, help!
Hut, hut, hut, hut.
Hut, hut, hut.
Next.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Winston.
Next.
Hello?
Mr. Gooze?
- Yeah, that's me. - Hi, I'm calling
on behalf of Dr. Walla's medical practice.
I'm sorry?
Well, I'm afraid I'm looking
at your test results.
Test results?
Next!
-How's Wade? -Good, thanks.
Keeping up with his counseling and whatnot?
Basically, yeah.
Single parents are heroes.
Single step-parents, double heroes.
Single step-parents,
play the hand you're dealt, yep.
Uh-huh. Hang on, hang on.
So, uh, he's going out for Share Your Gift?
Yeah. Uh, property movement piece.
Good for him.
My twins are freshmen already.
- Can you believe that? - Wow.
Elizabeth had her first period.
She's only 13.
-Congratulations. -Goes by in a blink.
-So you wanted to see me? -Right.
So, you came to us with those headaches,
and we ran some tests.
Oh, is that me?
Oh, no, that's a healthy scan so you...
so you have some context.
Yeah.
This is you.
Huh! Oh, wow.
It's, uh... It's ghastly.
Yeah.
This is a very advanced case of...
- Frontal. - Yeah.
Pre-frontal.
...which, of course, makes surgery impossible.
Ah, fuck me. Hmm.
How long do I have?
Best case, six months, a year.
So, a year would be your best case.
Oh, you fucked up real good this time.
There is a drug treatment available for this.
It's, uh, very new and wildly expensive,
but your insurance will probably cover it.
Oh, fuck me. Why didn't you tell me that first?
I should have.
Speak to an agent.
Got it.
If you are a provider, press one.
No, no. Speak to an agent.
Okay.
If you are a patient, press two.
- Speak to an agent! - Got it.
If you are a provider, press one.
Speak to an age...
Hi, Mr. Gooze.
Hi.
Okay, I see you're on the Platinum Plan
with your BTH employee coverage.
Yes. Hmm.
Uh, that is me.
- Platinum. - Yes.
Which excludes benefits
-covered under the Gold Plan. -What?
I... I am Platinum.
Yeah, you have Platinum.
But like I said,
only treatments listed on the primary tier are covered.
Secondary tier treatments are covered,
but not if you didn't qualify for the Admiral's Plan
unless you selected a co-tier.
I don't know what that means.
What does that mean?
- Doesn't... - You have Platinum.
Doesn't Platinum cover the Gold?
Oh, hon. I'm talking about tiers.
I don't know what tiers are.
Perimeter check. O contact.
Copy. Bonnet, clear.
All teams, armor-piercing mags.
Hell yeah.
Take dictation, my dear.
A letter to the editor.
Dear fuckhead, in spite of your dishonest newspaper's
alarmist predictions, BTH is not on its way out.
My ideas have not run dry,
and my clothes are most certainly not invisible,
whatever the hell that meant.
My haters have always resorted to lies.
I took money from gangsters.
My factory is a super-polluter
because they can't accept...
...all I'm really guilty of
is wanting to help people.
But you can't create
a world-changing health-style empire
without dealing with clowns like you.
Hang on, let me see. Um...
I will innovate again...
Get that out of my sight, you fucking donkey!
Yeah, I'm... I'm like syphilis, uh, Sisyphus,
pushing his big rocks up the hill,
and those rocks are...
perfection.
That's brilliant.
Bloody brilliant!
Oh, goddamn this thing.
Piece of shit.
It's... No, sorry, Robert, you just press the...
I did. I read the manual.
Oh, I looked at the picture.
-The red button next to mode. -Right, I'm pushing...
-I'm pressing that. -Where it says "Finish."
Okay. There it is.
Well done, Robert.
Where is Fritz?
Here, Robert.
He's coming, Robert.
He just takes that little bit longer.
Thank you, Kissy.
Okay. Uh, not that I'm complaining necessarily.
I mean, maybe I am a little,
but it didn't exactly...
look like an accident, did it?
I mean, a harpoon?
They had to improvise.
Like jazz. Fair enough.
And the traitor?
No.
Well, maybe, Mr. Head of Security,
hiring the rock group you manage to handle wet works
was not the best operational decision.
-They're not rock. -What?
-Monster core. -What? What?
Crazy and dangerous.
-He's just mumbling. -Ugh.
That's all he can do.
And this viper, this betrayer,
what does she do, huh?
She sticks a knife
- into all of Body Talk's back. - Right.
Body Talk's backs. Backs.
- Our collective back. - What?
- Back. - Our collective back.
Just when I'm up to my chin in fucking IOUs
from that bald mobster downtown...
I mean, do you realize what's at stake here?
Everything!
I understand.
Ruthless execution.
Do I make myself clear?
As a window.
Then why am I still looking at your fucked up puss?
Uh...
Right.
Hey.
Hey!
Koo-koo-koo.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Come on!
Almost.
Where is she?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck?
Where the fuck is she?
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck!
Yo, let's try the next place.
Hit it, we're gonna find that bitch.
Yes! Nailed it!
There you are.
Hey, do you know the fucking Killer Nutz?
'Cause they were just here,
and they beat the shit out of me looking for you.
Now, when I let you stay here off the lease,
I said, "No weird vigilante stuff."
And I feel like I really emphasized that part.
They won't be back.
Hey.
Hey!
-J.J.? -Neither will I.
And what the fuck did you do to my floor, man?
Damn.
Fuck, yeah!
Yo, babe. Yeah.
That was awesome.
Next up...
That's you.
You suck!
Duck!
Hey, hey! Uh, yeah, yeah.
Hey, Daisy, hey.
Hey, bud.
You okay?
Saw my man coming home,
thought he looked kind of low so...
Thanks, Daisy.
Hey, sorry I couldn't help earlier.
You got Mr. Treats.
So, how did it go?
You know, you probably don't remember this
'cause she stopped playing shows
when you were real little, but your mom
was an absolute killer on stage.
Oh, man, bloodbath every time.
Thing is, she couldn't even play that good.
It was like...
But...
It was just the attitude.
You know, her presentation.
One second, Wade, you're gonna love this!
Jackpot!
Oh, yeah!
Come on, Wade. Come here!
Wade! Oh, my God!
There are so many people waiting for you!
Winston, no.
Whoa. Whoa, again.
Put the chair down, please.
Oh, you don't think I know about dance?
Property movement pieces.
Here, learn this shit.
Oh, my back.
Okay, but you get the point.
Like, go throw roses,
and it's like thunderous applause, and...
It's gonna be fantastic.
What's that?
I can show you the backspin too.
But, uh, maybe later.
You're such a good kid.
You're gonna be okay.
Hey. I'll dance with you, baby.
Nice tutu.
Well, there's always some flux at our level.
Right, we're all about the flux.
BT is this township's heart's blood.
And you are BT, but... ...we're concerned.
I think when we announce our next innovation,
you will see our intertwined fortunes
very much in ascension.
Could you give us a preview?
Well, of course, uh, it's too soon
to go into any of the particulars, really,
- but I think... - Mayor Togar,
I don't know if you're familiar with the term "game changer"?
No, I'm not.
But holy shit.
Yes, this new product is going to
actually change, well, the game.
Okay. Look, I don't appreciate being buttonholed like this.
Worried about being seen with disreputable underworld types?
So, what do you want?
For you to be reminded...
who bought your seat
at the big boy table over there.
Who bankrolled you and your fuckheaded company.
Thad.
You know I'm grateful.
Don't tell me that shit. Show me.
All right, you know, there's always some flux...
Fuck flux! Think of something! You owe!
People ain't buying your snake oil anymore?
Too many tumors and bloody stools?
I don't give a shit, bozo.
'Cause you owe.
And it'll be nothing for me
to fuck you and everyone you love
in the most sandy
-and unnatural ways. -Whoa. Now...
Nobody calls me bozo anymore.
You're reminded.
Business builder.
Man of impeccable style.
The Citizen Shepherd Award.
Bob! Bob! Bob!
The whole idea of an award, it's...
it's just not why we do what we do, right?
But as a focal tool, it is useful.
-Excuse me? -Fear for my life.
Cool. It's cool, it's cool.
You gotta chill with that firearm shit.
It's not that kind of evening.
Yes, sir.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
I'm really sorry to interrupt you
on your special night
- with all your pretty friends. - Wait, what?
Um, but my name is Winston Gooze,
and I have been working for you for 13 years,
and I think I do a pretty good job.
My reviews are exceeds, meets, and meets exceeds.
You know, so...
The point is, I'm sick, sir.
And BT insurance won't help.
Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that.
I mean, our plans are pretty robust,
but what can I do for you?
I don't know. I thought you'd maybe just talk to your people
and, on my behalf and I wouldn't ask but...
I've got a kid.
And he already lost his mom.
Can I just ask you a little question?
What is it you... you do for us?
Hygiene services.
Mop shop, what what.
- Mop shop. - What what.
- Yeah. - I think I got
- a responsibility, don't I? - Right. Yeah.
Don't worry.
We're gonna sort this out, my man.
I don't know what to say.
My assistant, Miss Sturnevan,
she'll just get some details from you, okay?
-Associate. -Whoa.
Shall we?
This way, and I'll just... We'll chat some things?
Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Yeah.
Thank you. You rule.
Yeah, I guess I kind of do.
-Oh, this way, Mr. Gooze. -Oh, okay.
I'll be back shortly with your vouchers.
-And the Bellini. -Oh, you betcha.
Oh, shit. Shit.
Miss Sturnevan. Hello?
Ah, there you are.
Is he gone? The world's saddest janitor.
I mean, the brass neck on that one.
Listen, fire him, rehire him,
and fire him again.
Jesus Christ. Mop shop.
Open.
Summon the Nutz.
Okay. Summoning the Nutz.
Get the sample. Get the fuck out.
Okay, okay, okay.
Come on.
Okay, come on, now.
Trash run.
What's with the rubber mask?
This is a fucking robbery!
Sorry, man.
I don't want to fucking hear it.
I thought you were one of the good guys.
Robbing me with a fucking mop!
Shame on you, Winston.
Shame on you.
I'll send someone to untie you, Chris!
It's not your fault.
Okay.
Easy, easy.
Oh, my fucking God.
Come on.
My man, hold up.
Just want to talk.
Hey, I know you guys. What are you doing here?
That's crazy. Big fan...
Who is that?
Yeah.
What the fuck, you guys?
This! This is the one we're after.
Hey, you said... Eh, you said ruthless execution.
Just... All right, fuck.
Just clean it up, you fucking ding-a-lings.
Stop!
It hurts!
Help me!
Hey, how's Mr. Feets?
Mr. Treats is fine.
All this traffic, you gotta be careful.
A lot of cats getting hit out here.
You're very subtle.
Oh, yeah?
- As a hammer. - Why, thank you.
Hey, I've enjoyed working with you
on this transaction.
Asshole.
Excuse me?
Hey, Winston.
I keep calling and you won't pick up.
So, um, you know, if you could...
please just pick up and... or call. Um...
Oh, I'm just getting really, really worried.
Okay, bye.
Hey, buddy.
Whoa!
The fuck?
What the fuck did you do to my sled?
Jeez!
Oh, shit, man.
I apologize.
Hey, shut up down there!
Someone call 911.
The fuck?
Did that guy just shoot someone?
I just said I was sorry.
Oh, is that my arm?
- It's a demon. - It's a fiend.
Those are the same things!
We gotta kill that vampire.
Call my dad.
It ate a baby!
It had a tail.
Yep. Sounds like angel dust.
Y'all doing a mob?
We're doing a mob.
Mob, mob, mob!
Okay, fuck it. It's a mob.
Mob, mob. mob!
Yee-haw!
That's how perverts run!
Hunched over and bow-legged!
Let's fuck him up!
You all go that way!
Cut him off!
He's in that meadow!
We're coming for you!
I think I saw something in them trees.
Oh, God.
You better run and hide.
Keep searching.
What's that over there?
There he is.
Thought you'd want a breakfast.
I found you in Yonder Spooky Woods.
My God.
What's the issue, fella?
I, uh...
I'm...
I'm dying.
Doctor says I've got maybe a year.
Dying.
Dying, he says.
Well, why didn't you say something before?
Make way for the big parade.
We got ticker tape and there's confetti.
Oh, and look, here comes the big brass marching band.
And great big, sexy, long-legged women,
high-kicking ladies.
And then there's a little train.
There's a miniature train, and you can ride it in circles
and eat cotton candy
until your fucking heart bursts with joy
because, hey, folks... ...he is dying!
Yeah?
Yeah, well, big whoop!
"A year."
Great. Big ol' can-suck-it's-own-dick whoop!
Guthrie Stockins.
Uh, Winston.
What I meant to say is we're all... dying.
You know, this place used to be a preserve.
And now, the Nervous Red Warbler
is basically extinct.
So you see,
you dying,
it just ain't nothing special.
Well, that doesn't make me feel any better.
Well, it's never too late.
Yeah, well, look at me.
I used to be a fancy doctor.
Yeah. Big salary, house. You know, important, right?
Next thing I know,
Mr. Policeman's holding me down,
saying that I, uh, bit somebody in a budget meeting.
But look how things turned out.
See?
You never know which way the worm is gonna turn.
So the question is,
what you gonna do in the meantime?
What do you want?
I want my boy.
But he thinks I'm a monster.
You're not a monster.
Show him your good heart.
Is that yours?
Found this washed up in Yonder Funky Lagoon.
This is a formidable item.
Do you know how to use it?
Like, for mopping?
- Mmm... - Wait a minute.
That's it. There we go.
Just remember.
Those given much will of them have much demanded.
-Yeah, got it. Got it. -Generally speaking...
Um, with great power and whatnot.
Oh, got it, got it.
Good luck, Winston.
He's an ugly son of a bitch though.
Yeah!
Uh, saw blood.
Handsome fella had his arm tore off like wet bread,
and the creature run off into the night.
An atmosphere of creeping terror
hangs over the city, and there are still no leads
as to the identity of the rampaging maniac.
Uh, alleged maniac.
Anyone who may have encountered the strange beast
should call this number.
Can we put that up please, Terry?
What are we dealing with here?
MS-13? Bio-warfare?
The oft-predicted uprising
of our woodland Sasquatch cousins?
At this point,
it's impossible to say.
Whatever it is...
Hello. Pervert tip line.
Please hold.
Jumping in with some breaking news.
We have confirmed reports
that a group of armed political extremists
calling themselves The Nasty Lads...
Good Lord, y'all. They've taken hostages
at a Miss Meat lunch-a-torium downtown.
Formerly Mister Meat.
Let's go live.
Suspects inside.
We have injured unknown number of targets.
Yeah, we're set up out front.
We're still waiting on SWAT.
These guys are real psychos.
God help us.
We are The Nasty Lads.
We are angry.
You will hear our grievances.
Youse guys don't move a fucking muscle.
Take us seriously.
There's a boy in here.
He's wearing a helmet.
My mom made me wear it.
Our once great Western society
has been enfeebled by estrogenic thinking
and moral turpitude.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
No longer!
Today, we give notice.
Today, we rise.
Yeah, fellas, I understand you're angry,
but what's your issue with this establishment?
The change of mascot
symbolizes the intellectual dishonesty we abhor.
It's always been Mister Meat.
Yeah, sure, but it's still the same great grub, right?
I need SWAT right now!
My boy's in there.
Ma'am, please, stay back.
My son's in there.
Somebody... Somebody do something!
Grievance one.
Progressive fascism.
Grievance two. Anti-Anglo media tyranny.
Three. The Global Emasculatory Agenda!
Four. Groupthink privacy.
Five. Western Alpha Scapegoating.
Six. Science.
Seven...
Are you triggered?
I can't see what you're doing.
Are you triggered?
- Eight... - Shitheads, I'm blind.
"Shitheads"?
What's happening?
Talk to me, what's happening?
"Shitheads"?
Maybe I'll just show you who's a shitheads.
What do you think, boys?
I never cornholed...
Don't antagonize him!
You fucked up this time.
Who the fuck are you?
Nobody special.
- Just some dude... - ...with a mop!
Yeah.
Come here, you! And your stupid
- fucking antlers! - Oh, my God.
You too, dummy.
Oh, God.
Give me your lunch.
Show me your hands!
Dingus! Damn it! What the hell are you doing?
Oh, my God, is that man dead?
Yeah, that's his head.
Oh, God!
What happened to that guy?
He looks like a fucked-up hot dog.
Oh, God, he's putting it back in.
Oh, fuck, he's putting it in.
Standby. Um, okay.
We're seeing movement here.
People are coming outside.
It's not clear what's happening just yet.
Hey, get over there and give him a hand.
Officer, get over there and help these people.
Aw!
What the hell is that?
Whoa!
No! No!
This little dude saved us.
He's a hero.
What's your name, sir?
I'd rather not say.
Are you affiliated with BTH?
No, no comment.
How does it feel to be considered a hero?
Sometimes...
you know, some...
Sometimes you gotta do something.
Winston?
Yeah!
Yes!
You gotta do something.
If you're just joining us...
I'm sorry. I'm just choked up here.
Um, it appears that the hostages
- are all safe. - That's him.
- Or mostly safe... - Him?
- ...but they're okay. - That's him?
Oh, we got the crazy bastard.
He's headed south on Torgl.
Fan out.
I want him dead or alive.
Actually, wait. You still there?
Yeah, dude, yeah. Still here.
- Just dead. - Just dead?
Yeah.
When I ask you to handle things,
my beloved baby brother,
basis of my assumption is that you will not then decide...
...to fuck the entire goat!
See what you did?
I did what you asked.
How dare you sass him, little runt?
-And you! -Me?
You had one of the anarchists right in your hand,
-and you lost him. -No, no.
I did not let him go.
I took him for a little Bellini.
We had a stroll...
The betrayer and the janitor are obviously in cahoots,
making mayhem against us, and if that weren't enough,
now some mighty freak
puts us right in the spotlight.
So mighty.
Uh, you always say,
"Any attention is good attention"?
You missed the point.
The janitor and the freak are one and the same.
- Fuck! - And somehow,
because of what you did,
we made it so.
An evolution.
I want all of my geeks working on this.
But first, how...
...did this happen?
Whoop.
Our factory waste materials
are normally quite toxic,
but in combination with an extremely rare genetic marker,
it could trigger a powerful mutation.
Which result in muscle accretion,
hyper-cellular augmentation and, uh...
- Um... - Spit it out.
Girthening.
Yes.
Notable girthening.
You're gonna save my ass, aren't you, janitor?
Time is short.
Can you recreate the mutation?
We need the freak, but there's a risk
-of dangerous infection... -Get it started.
Find him, bring him here.
Uh...
He has a child.
But where does he come from?
And what does he want?
And what is the BTH connection?
Excuse me, the Toxic Avenger?
That's what the kids are calling him.
I think it's swell.
Is "him" the preferred pronoun?
Real classy, Rick.
Uh, help you?
I'll tell you what went down.
So that's what went down.
So are you like a... a detective or a spy?
No, I'm just angry.
I'm trying to expose these jackals.
Your dad's the key.
Stepdad.
I grew up by the river.
You could see BT factory from my yard.
I never bought into the whole bio booster bullshit.
But my mom was a disciple.
Bob Garbinger was the Second Coming,
far as she cared.
She bought everything they put out.
Then came the stomach aches.
And by the time she could get the surgery,
shit they took out of her was the size of a baseball.
She was gone in a year.
Whole time thinking her cranial stims
and positive frequency lamps would save her.
And that's the shit, now we know,
that killed her in the first place.
My sister died too.
-Cancer? -Zamboni.
Hell of a skater. No awareness.
It was a rough year.
Yeah. I lost my mom like that too.
-Zamboni? -Cancer.
Sorry about that, man.
A lot of that going around.
You got him mixed up in some bad stuff.
He was already there, running off with some money.
Where are you?
Stop flipping.
They're running.
Parkour?
No.
No parkour.
We'll track him.
- Wait! - Whoa.
What are you doing with her?
Never mind about her. What's wrong with you?
Um...
-Does it hurt? -Uh...
No, it's not bad. It's sort of like a sunburn.
I didn't ask for all the doctors and... and therapy and shit.
I didn't ask for you to go out stealing to pay for it.
The money was for me.
I'm sick. It's my head.
There's medicine for it.
And I was trying to pay for it and then, um...
-And then, well... -Are you...
Are you... are you gonna die?
And you didn't tell me?
Just like Mom. And I'm not gonna have anyone.
-No, no, wait. I'm your dad. -No, you're not.
We need to get inside.
You never even got married!
I promise you,
I am not going...
Go!
Winston!
What the fuck?
He's getting away!
Go around. Cut him off!
-Go! Go! Go! -That way! That way!
We have to go back.
We have to help him.
No. Too dangerous.
My... My ears are ringing.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Jump scare.
There you are.
There he is.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Hey, come here.
Come here a sec.
What the fuck?
What happened to youse?
Just... just come here.
What?
I got something to tell you.
What is it?
It's... it's important.
Goddamn it!
Gotcha, sucker.
No, no, no!
Blake was gutted.
No, not bummed. I mean, he was disemboweled.
I sent in Boofer and Keg-Stand,
but I lost contact, and...
Stay gold, asshole.
Oh, God.
Hey. Hey. Where's Wade?
Hey!
Oh, God! Okay, okay, okay.
Hold on. I know a doctor.
Don't worry.
Are you sure you're a doctor?
Whoever told you I was a doctor?
You did.
Well, then, in my medical opinion,
she's already dead.
God. Okay, okay.
Young... young lady?
Hmm.
Jesus.
You've got someplace to be?
Sound check, baby.
You'll make the festival.
Gotta sound tight for the community.
Hashtag blessed. A koo-koo-koo!
Just play the fucking hits.
Whatever.
Hey, kid.
Don't be scared.
We just want him.
You're the one who should be scared.
You see what he's up against?
Winston...
My dad loves me more than anything.
What would your family do
if someone tried to take you away?
Sorry. Yes, sir.
Right away.
Hello, Thad.
Don't you "Thad" me, you cunty jerk.
That BTH Frankenstein just tomahawked half my gang!
So convince me not to come over there right now
and put a rattlesnake up your ass.
Oh, please don't do that.
You know there are undercover feds in town
looking to make hay out of exactly
this sort of shit show?
- Thad... - AKA,
you are suicidally fucking with my money!
- Of course, but you... - You're talking now
which means your whole operation gets pried open!
And anyone connected is a...
- It's handled. - You're sure?
You have my word.
I hope so, bozo.
Why don't we just take it off and start again?
Put him in the shed.
Let go of me! Let me go!
You can't do this!
This is a mistake.
The boy.
You're familiar with Pandora's box?
The exotic revue?
-No -BOB: Oh.
- A can of worms, I mean. - Hmm.
The only can I'm interested in right now...
is can I know that you're on my side?
Where else would I be, Robert?
Hmm.
Hey, little fella.
There's a gentleman down there huffing jenkem.
Says you saved my life.
Thank you.
They took Wade to get to me.
Yeah.
And they did all this, huh?
The night we met, I was trying to get hard proof.
Me and my mentor.
His name is Melvin Ferd.
He was a good reporter.
Very brave.
And they killed him with harpoons and shit.
And if you ruin them, it'll make things okay.
No, we've already killed the planet.
Ruining BTH isn't gonna change that.
You don't...
You don't know that. Things could change.
It's never too late.
Why fight if you can't win?
They're dangerous.
We'd have to go in hard.
I am very hard.
You suck!
Boo!
Yeah, baby!
Are you cunt-lickin', cock-suckin' motherfuckers?
- Yes, we are! - No.
- That's right! - All right.
I know you know the words to this next one.
So I want you loud up in this bitch!
This shit don't work.
Who the fuck is ruining our show?
No!
- Toxie! It's him! - Yo, I know this dude!
Hey, Toxie! He saved my life! Hey!
Don't cheer!
It's my fuckin' stage!
No!
Yeah? Okay.
Look out!
What do you got? A mop?
Oh, here it comes, baby.
Yes. I am gonna flip it...
- Oh, shit. Wait. - No, no, no!
Eat your fuckin' beard!
Fuck you!
Oh, my wife...
my best partner.
Why'd Toxie do that?
What the fuck, Toxie?
I told you he was a monster!
Who's gonna clean up all this shit?
Listen up!
These dudes suck!
They kill people for BTH!
It's Robert Garbinger.
He's in bed with gangsters.
They all got rich and you all got sick.
Weird bitch.
They are ruiners!
Over here!
Where's my son?
Where is my son?
Ow!
Chüdhaven.
Chüdhaven?
- Do you know where that is? - Mmm.
- Mmm-hmm. - Yeah.
Chüdhaven.
- Too much. Too much. - Uh...
This way.
Are you ready?
Post one, any contact?
Negative.
Copy. Stay frosty.
Two guards.
- Can we sneak in? - I don't think so.
It's wide open.
Follow my lead.
I have a plan.
Hey, boys.
Oh. That plan was insane.
No.
Winston!
-Wade? -Look out!
Hey, gang.
Room service. Just getting everybody comfy.
Triple titanium chains there, buddy.
You ain't going anywhere.
You know,
I think you've learned a pretty severe lesson
about not stealing from your employer.
But the fun thing is, is that
even though you tried to rob me...
...all of this is gonna make me
a fucking barn load of money.
Look at those guns.
Get away from him, you pig.
"Pig"? Okay, you know what?
I'm not even talking to you right now.
I'm so irritated with your...
"Oh, dear. Businessman. Bad."
So just...
Annoying.
Wow.
Tell me, Mr. Gooze,
um, did it hurt?
You're becoming...
Okay. Well, never mind.
I'll find out for myself.
I'm gonna have the side effects boys
iron it out before we launch.
-Garbinger. -Yes?
You're gonna find out what hurts.
No.
- I'm gonna make sure it hurts. - No.
I get it.
- I'm gonna make... - I just said
that I was gonna find out.
So it's a hat on a hat, right?
-It's a hat on a hat. -It is.
-I'm gonna make sure it hurts. -No, no, no.
The moment has passed.
- See you guys. - Fuck!
I'm sorry.
It wasn't a good line.
Don't you fucking touch him!
Winston!
Some of the subsequences are flawed.
-Some. -Run it again.
Winston!
These elements contain
traces of...
...which can cause notable brain changes.
Run it again.
The subject will not likely survive another extraction.
Let's hope he does.
Uh...
The mutagenics are in range.
But, uh...
Here at Gonzales Park,
where a fun family festival
turned into a bananas bloodbath
that some attribute to the freaky folk hero
known as Toxie.
Beautiful.
I'm assuming you heard this.
Thad.
What I heard was criminal allegations
about BTH being in with criminal gangsters
and using our town as their own personal shit box.
It's Robert Garbinger.
He's in bed with gangsters.
They all got rich and you all got sick.
They are ruiners!
There you have it.
Shocking allegations against BTH
of organized crime connections
and heinous environmental abuses.
As of today, all municipal cooperation
with Body Talk Healthstyle is suspended,
pending a thorough inve...
You said it was handled.
Fuck them.
We can wait them out.
You got a turd in your pocket?
Who's this "we"?
I would never tell them anything about us. About you.
You say that like you have any control
-over what happens. -But I do.
Just now, we had
the breakthrough of a millennium.
It's the ultimate bio booster.
We could... we could call it Champion Sauce or God Soda.
Everybody is gonna be eating out of my hands, just like...
- Eating out of our hands. - Hush.
- Just like the old days. - Hush.
Okay if I had a quick drink? I'm just...
- One for the road? - Oh, yeah.
You're gonna need it.
We had a good run, huh?
You and me.
Stop stalling.
It's cheap.
Bozo?
Nobody calls me that anymore.
Rob...
Robert.
My love, I feel unwell.
Mmm.
Take dictation, my dear. Superiority...
I don't want explanations.
I want results.
His body's rejecting the serum.
I literally said I didn't want that.
We warned him it wasn't perfected.
So fucking perfect it!
My God, you people are tedious!
The mess upstairs? No traces.
- The hostage? - No witnesses.
Wait. What?
You didn't think we were just gonna let him go?
But he's a child.
And whose sterling fucking idea was it
to bring him here in the first place?
Do it.
No, Colonel.
Jeff, we're not gonna do that.
You disloyal little gimp.
That is your brother I'm trying to protect.
No, it's not.
Oh, Fritz.
You fucking little shit!
No witnesses!
Witnesses.
Hey.
Yo! Wake up!
They're going to kill Wade!
Wade?
Yo, yo, yo, yo! Come on, let's go.
Mel would be so pissed at me.
Pissed.
I gotta get my dick out.
Your dick?
Please, like you have to trust me.
I swear to God, if you're being perverted right now...
Okay. Hey. No. No.
I promise you,
I am not a pervert.
Okay?
Okay. Watch out. I gotta piss on my face.
Okey-doke.
Got it.
Holy shit.
Don't worry.
I'll have better aim now.
No.
Ugh.
Hard proof. Maybe a cure.
Great. Get that to the car.
I'll get Wade.
Go.
Hey.
Was it worth it, janitor?
Did you get what you wanted?
I lost... ...everything!
We're not so different, you and I.
I also like to scream.
Everything!
Come here, you mother...
There's nothing you can do to us.
Get your weird ass up.
You're the fucking weird ass.
Fuck you!
You bitch.
Bitch!
Robert!
That's for my mom.
Where's Wade?
You should have just helped me!
But I'm a monster.
Dad!
Huh?
This way. Hurry.
- Please. - Wade?
Don't kill him.
It's not who you are.
Well, I mean, uh...
- What? - Never mind. No.
Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
Uh, you mean the... With the guy... with the...
Yeah, that guy.
Well, that was just self-defense.
Yes, it was.
You... You haven't killed anyone else, have you?
See, when you say, uh, "self-defense"...
Three, two, one!
Ignition.
What a good fucking line.
You called me Dad.
I know.
I love you...
No! Dad!
Stop!
Enough!
It's never enough!
Hey! Over here.
Oh, good. You're up.
Your son's gone to the snack machine.
Neat kid.
Turn that up.
...large scale corruption
in the wake of the BTH data dump.
A federal task force has revealed
a massive conspiracy of fraud,
bribery, toxic dumping, and even murder for hire
involving city officials,
including the Mayor and Chief of Police.
Criminally implicated CEO Robert Garbinger
remains at large,
as does the so-called Toxic Avenger.
Splendid. One of our greatest business minds
is pilloried just because...
Oh, shut the fuck up, Rick.
I've been after BTH for years.
Are you gonna arrest me?
We're gonna sweep you under the rug as best we can.
You also saved a lot of lives.
You'll always have that.
For a year, maybe.
Best case.
- Actually... - Oh, fuck!
What? You scared the shit out of me.
-I thought you saw me here. -No, I didn't see you.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
I was having lunch here, uh, in case you woke up
because I wanted to tell you this
-as soon as I could. -What is it?
Lebanese bologna and cream cheese,
-which sounds off... -What...
What did you want to tell me?
Oh. Yes.
More context?
Nope, that's you.
Looks like your mutations with generative properties
causing...
...in your brain to vanish.
Wild, huh?
You done fucked up twice now!
You're in recovery.
Apart from your hideous physical condition, obviously.
Mr. Treats says thanks.
Thank you, man.
Great job. You did a great job!
Bunch of crap.
-What? -You heard me. You heard me.
You got a problem?
Yeah. This is a hospital.
-This ain't no rodeo, buddy. -Yeah.
I'm aware. I'm excited.
Some kind of party.
Can I have more apple juice?
Shut the fuck up.
Hmm.
Yes!
Yeah! Yeah.
There's nothing they can do to us, Robert.
Ah.
I was just, uh,
just making some grilled cheese.
It's not... you know, uh...
Whatever, I guess. Uh...
You know, the main thing is,
you want to put the butter on the bread first
so it crisps evenly.
Put butter in the pan first, it's uneven and, uh,
you know, it can burn, and that's... that's not good.
So, uh, you got to use white bread.
Only white.
Or, uh, or sourdough.
Yeah. I, uh,
put a bit of mayonnaise on mine sometimes.
You know, to be honest, I don't think it makes
a difference. But, you know.
I don't know why I do that. I just do.
And I use American cheese.
But I... You could use cheddar
if you like that better or, uh, you know,
cheddar jack or, you know,
three-mix cheddar. Uh...
Oh, hey, bud.
Uh, another cool thing you could do
is you can just, uh, you know,
after it's been cooking for a while, you just
sprinkle some shredded cheese on the outside.
You flip it and do the same on the other side.
Now what you get is,
you get this nice, crispy shell.
So it's nice and crispy on the outside
and then you get that bite.
Just the pop.
You know, that crunch on the outside.
You know, it's, uh, not essential.
Just a little thing extra you can do to, uh, boss it up.
You know, I...
I serve, uh, I serve mine with milk.
But, uh, you could do whatever.
You know, whatever you like.
You know.
And that clocks another block
of "I Love Rock" on AM 10-1.
It's another unusually lovely day,
here in St. Roma's...
Blue skies. Sun's out.
Kids are playing with their dogs.
That's how many beautiful days in a row now?
What's the opposite of a curse, kids?
It's, uh, just good luck, I guess.
Okay, this is Rowdy Mike on AM 10-1
where we're all 10-1 together.