Subtitle by Aldi Arman
Everybody!
It's here!
It's here...
Hey, what's here?
It's here
Hey, what?
Hurry up What's here?
It's here...
It's here ... Come on...
Hurry up, come on...
Mum, I want to go
Go on, be careful
It's here...
To the left
Right a little
West, face west
Do you know which way is west?
I said west
Just face east
East, east
Flint...
Flint, the paper's here, read it for us!
Garlic & Onion, just wait a moment
Wow
Leftovers
You two must be stupid
It takes a month to get here from the Capital
It becomes old news
What's interesting about it?
Come on, let me see what's interesting
There's a new literature scholar
He's from the Capital
Take a look, here's how he looks like, just like this
Looking like this?
Doesn't look smart at all
The chilies this year are much spicier than last year
A few people even died from eating them
The government has new guidelines...
One
A prosecutor can only hit the drums lightly 3 times
to avoid disturbance to the current case
Punishable by caning 30 times
Two
Drunk driving carriage will be fined 2 dollars
Serve 6 months suspension and confiscation of horse
Three...
Flipping heck, do the words have to be so small?
Garlic...
Take this further away
Still further
More
I'm really getting old
Even further
The government is into the red,
all workers will...
reduce their wages accordingly through the hard times
You can see that far away?
Excellent eyesight Amazing!
What's good eyesight for in this tiny village
Don't be so pessimistic
Your talent won't go wasted
But what should we do about the cutback?
Oh, it's gone
The rope snapped, this is fate
The newspaper is gone
I can't quite remember what it says
Why don't we forget about it
and see what it says on next month's paper, alright?
Hey, dinner time, dinner time
Let's go, let's go...
That's west
Right from the oven, fresh and soft
These are for you two Thank you
Here it is
I've added some rose extracts to these buns
I've saved these for you girls
Will we get fat eating these?
Of course not
Then why am I eating them!
Yeah, I've lost my appetite and weight lately
My husband complains I don't look good skinny
Lost weight from where?
Hey, Rouge
You are really losing face for your husband
Look at how thin you are
People will think he's starving you
Exactly! If there is nothing on your body
Men can't get up by themselves
Just look at you
You are just bag of bones
Flat as a plain
Your husband would have more fun
hugging Onion and Garlic back in the village hall
Nevermind
Just get us the fattest bun to boost our weight
With sausages
Yeah... No problem
Wow... Darling
You girls should be careful of heart attack
What do you know!
Off work so early?
There's nothing to do
That's right
I'll let you catch up with these beauties
I'm going to watch some chess Okay
Hey, Rouge
Being the head of guards doesn't earn that much
And Flint doesn't even help out at the shop
Just hang around all day and being lazy
I don't know what you love about him?
No... not this move
Move the bishop, then the knight
Move your rook out, then checkmate...
Hey, you play this game
You sit down
No, no, sorry, you carry on
En passe
No... you should move this!
Gosh, you are stupid
Alright, come on...
No... I shouldn't, you just carry on
The thing is, he's too thin
and not in a good way either
Look at Jim, he's thin too
but looks so much better
Never you mind
Idiot
That's the way I like him
Gosh, I can't pull the needle through such a big hole
What're you doing?
I'm free, so I'm doing some sewing
Free?
Why don't you shave off your beard, you messy
In a couple of days, a couple of days
A couple of days? You haven't shaved in 2 years
You don't have to work so hard on the dough
No one's here, why don't you use your superpower?
Look, you are at it again
I've told you thousand times
We are normal people and they don't have superpowers
You have to remember
I know
Wow, how does a normal person have such strength?
Roaches, I hate roaches
Smells good
What is it?
Who wouldn't know you've got superpower
if you take the hot steam basket out bare handed
Use a cloth
Be careful, you know
You, be careful, you know
Come... My back is killing me
Darling, why don't you soak your feet first
Then I'll give you a soapy massage
Oh... yeah, right on
Darling
How tired are you in a grade out of five?
4 and a half, plus little extra
Understand
What the hell?
Darling
Are you happy here after all these years?
Do you like it here?
So why don't we settle down and buy a house
Decorate it however we like?
Really?
You mean after all these years
We can finally have our own home?
Are you alright?
That felt good
That scared me
After all these years of work
I've saved up a little money
I think we can buy a small house
Hey, what are you doing?
Add that to mine, I think we can buy a bigger house
Darling, where does the money in that come from?
I save up from jobs
Would that be your own private stash?
I was forced to accept the money from people I helped
I see... So are there anymore piggies?
No... Are you sure?
Of course not Don't lie to me
Why would I lie to my husband?
A house that will change your view on the world
Mr and Mrs Flint
It's bright, cosy in the winter, breezy in the summer
Spacious master bedroom, plus huge balcony
The ideal place to live
What do you think?
Just so-so
Worse than so-so
Hey, why don't we look over there Alright
Honey... It's awesome...
I really like this place, it's good It's great!
We'll haggle for a better price, right?
We'll have to act our lives out, alright? Right
What do you think?
It's only 30 dollars!
This is the only one?
Yeah, a sea view is all you got
There's nothing here, what's good about this place?
It's low density, very private
This is the only house in the area
And no one will find us if we die
This place has got excellent feng shui
But my shifu said water is not good for me
With this view, it'll drown me!
Exactly
But this house is built with best materials
Really? Yes
Look
Gosh, this is just chalk
Exactly. How can anyone live here?
20 is all we'll pay, and that's it
Darling, let's go
Why isn't he stopping us from leaving?
Maybe you lowered the price too much?
It must be your acting!
Please wait
What now?
Too much
What is it?
20 it is
We've saved 1 0
The chimney you just broke
needs at least another 20 to fix, it's costing us more
I never knew we have so many things
You've never read these books, let's throw them out
Why don't you throw me out?
Since when have I got such a bright top?
It was a birthday gift from me, you don't remember?
Of course... You've never worn it
The colour is too bright for my subtlety
You, subtle?
I'm subtle
Darling
It's been ten years since we've retired
1 0 Year Ago - The Pest Four Robbery
Put all the money in
There are too many hostages
The Pest Four will kill without warning, we should wait
Get Gazer Warrior
This is strange
How come it's so calm?
Are the guards all gone?
Hey, bro, take a look
Isn't that the lantern...
... that calls for Gazer Warrior?
Since when are we afraid of anyone?
Hey, wait a second
This hostage isn't right for you
What about me? Go find someone else
Bro, is she right for me?
Who cares
Evil Ant
Poisonous Snake
Aren't you tired?
Devil Scorpion
Why are you laughing?
Why have you chosen to practice this style of kung fu?
What's wrong with this?
The problem is...
You look like a cockroach
Deadly Toad
Deadly Gazer
Gazer Warrior! Gazer Warrior! Gazer Warrior!
Geezer Warrior, this windmill is for you
It's not Geezer Warrior
It's Gazer Warrior
I see, Gazer Warrior
Gazer Warrior Captures the Pest Four
Please, don't scare my child, I beg you...
What are you screaming about?
A drunk man has...
... to beat his child and kick his wife
He needs a lesson Please don't hit him
Get out of my way Please stop, I beg you
Get lost Don't hit him
Smells nice
Gazer Warrior?
Does Gazer Warrior have such a curve?
It's a woman
Poke!
Kick!
Punch!
Are both of you alright?
Yes
Thanks for saving our life, you're a heroine
I'm Aroma Woman, serve and protect our sisterhood
Aroma Woman? Right
Your mask is so pretty
Sorry, mask cannot be touched by anyone
Where did you buy it?
It's custom-made
Is it expensive?
Discounts through connections...
He's fine, he's just got hit by my Aroma Palm
Wow, sexy ladies
What's happening?
Aroma Woman Saves Woman from Abusive Husband
Aroma Woman! Aroma Woman! Aroma Woman...
Gazer Warrior is the best!
You are not the best, we are
Gazer Warrior is the best in the Universe!
Faceoff between Aroma Woman and Gazer Warrior
Aroma Woman! Gazer Warrior!
They're making a move...
Oh, a mosquito
You must attract them a lot, smelling so nice
Yeah, my scent does attract them a lot
It's so noisy
Do you hate noise?
Why don't we go somewhere else?
Where to?
It doesn't matter, as long as you are there
Hey? Your voice?
It hurts my throat using that voice all the time
I hope you don't mind when it's just the two of us
Are we switching places?
You are as fast as I am
I haven't introduced myself yet, I'm Flint
What about you?
My name is Rouge
Why are you laughing?
Awesome
Really?
Of course
Idiot
You are winning too much, I'll go bust
Can I play?
Yeah, awesome!
Over there
That's Chan from the fruit stall
He wants me to save his cat from trees
Oh, that one
She sells honey
She has a lot of secret to tell...
I've been seeing her too
She just need someone who listens
Oh...
Gosh, I'm tired
I just want a simple home
Me too
Why don't we...
Once we take off our mask
we are like everybody
living the lives of ordinary people
Whatever happens, we'll stay together
Forever and ever, through all difficulties
Do you agree?
I do
What's so funny?
I've got this mask tan line
because people keep calling me for help at noon
Be serious, we're getting married
It looks more obvious on my dark skin
It's okay
I've done some research
Honey and dough can whiten the skin
My face depends on you now, my darling wife
What did you say?
My face depends on you now
my darling wife
Hubby
Why don't we go home and pack now
and look for our home first thing in the morning
The first thing we do after marriage is packing?
Why don't we get a room and have some fun?
Awesome
Where is it? We've been searching it for years
It's not easy looking for an ideal home
We must pay our dues
When will we get there?
We are superheroes, but I'm scared of height
We'll see it, once we reach the top
Hurry up then, I want to reach there before it turns dark
So many mosquitoes
I'm dying to pee...
I told you to go before climbing but you had to hold it!
I can't hold it in anymore!
I'm right beneath you, don't do anything stupid
We are here How nice!
Here we are, that's Rainbow Village
Let's stop looking, it looks good
Alright, let's go
Hey, it looks so far, how long do you think it'll take?
With our super speed, maybe 2 to 3 days
What? I'm not walking, you piggyback me
I'll take a nap
Your life's so difficult
Your reward
So hungry... Chicken thigh...
Once we take off our mask
we are like everybody
living the lives of ordinary people
Deadly Gazer!
Stop messing around, I need to get to work
We just bought a big house
Don't you think it can fit more people?
You want a housemaid?
I want a child
It's alright, maybe you're tired
Tired? I just got up
It's alright, maybe you're just nervous?
We've been married for years, why would I be nervous?
Take a shave then, maybe it's draining your power
Why are you against my beard all the time?
Why don't you get a shave?
Darling, maybe you should see a doctor
I'm fine
Kidney dysfunction
Quite serious
Very serious
Hey, don't be so loud, patient confidentiality
Get lost! Why are you standing here?
How does it sound when you take a piss?
Oh... normal, very normal, more than normal
Give me more details
It's sounds like...
That's not right!
It's...
That's it
Definitely kidney dysfunction
Keep quiet!
Hey, there's nothing to see!
I'll give you some prescription medicine
Doctor, we want a child
Aren't you a bit old for a child?
No one hears you
Let me take your pulse
Do you two want boy or girl?
Boy Girl
If you want a girl, you have to do this...
At this rate, will it snap?
If you want a boy, then do this...
Never tried it
Then you must!
Alright
But...
Mrs. Flint...
What is it?
You've got a healthy body, but your pulse is weird
For example
while other's pulse beats 5 times
yours just beats once
This shows your metabolism is slowing down
Even if your husband's kidney is fixed
the chance of a child is still very small
So it's your fault
It just mean your lives are getting routine and plain
You two need to find something new and exciting
so your pulse beats like this...
Then it'll work
What does that mean?
Use your own method!
Doctor, you know...
About my kidney problem
can you not tell anyone?
What are you implying?
I'm professional
I don't go round telling people, you've got a problem!
Alright... enough... thank you...
Only I know you have a problem
I know, I know
You know you have a problem... Thank you
No one else will know
Where the hell is the code of patient confidentiality?
Flint, drink up the hot medicine
This medicine is very effective for kidney
How do you know?
You've got the same thing
Garlic, as we are in the same situation
how can we find more passion
find and create some excitement in our lives?
Just don't think about it
The best we can hope for
is that nothing ever happens in our lives
Every decade stays the same
This is called... stability!
Only a few people understand true stability
Stability is an attitude
Flint, Flint
There's a massive...
Massive what...
Massive group...
It's exciting!
Exciting?
Awesome
May I ask why you have come to our village?
Who's in charge here?
I am Flint, the head of guards of this village
I'm special agent Hall
I'm here to assist Bai Xiao Clan
I've heard of Bai Xiao Clan
It sells tea!
Bai Xiao Clan has existed over a century
Their job is to sort out the different sects of martial arts
Their new Grandmaster Blanc has suggested
to rearrange the ranking of all disciplines and sects
What's with the small writings...
So ten days from now, they'll hold a ranking event here
There's something I don't understand
Our village is so faraway with nearly no facilities
How did the government decide to give us...
such a wonderful event?
This is a faraway neutral place
It will help to reduce the friction between different sects
Plus, we have arranged
for everything to be done
All you need to do is the arrangement for hospitality
This is going to be busy as hell!
That's not true
It is our time the repay our country
Now that it needs us
We should cooperate
Everybody
The country has chosen our village
to host this Ranking Event
It is such an...
Honour!
There would be tens of thousands of tourists
We'll be rich
There won't be many people
This is not an open competition
It's by invitation only
That's good
Looked crowded but not crowded, that's hard to find!
Villagers are not allow to watch
That's even better
A competition that no one watches
How mysterious and exciting is that!
It's... it's not that exciting...
Oh, never mind... inspector!
Let me find you a place to stay, please...
Both the fish and chicken taste good, delicious
Something is wrong
What's wrong?
Let me think for a moment
We should leave!
It's your fault, why didn't you tell them
not to hold the event here!
We don't look for trouble, but it is looking for us
We should just leave
Alright, let's pack Okay
Hey, but we've just moved and decorated...
Right, we've only just moved in, and if we disappear
it'll look suspicious
You're right
This event is just for ranking
It won't be real fights, right?
Right
They'll leave after a couple of days
We've retired for so long, no one will remember us
That Blanc guy is newly appointed
He won't care for us...
Alright, we don't need to leave!
Are you sure?
Of course
We're just normal people, living ordinary lives
Right?
Right
We should just act normal
Then everything will be fine
You think too much
Am I right?
Right
You are so smart
Nothing you've thought about can go wrong
They just can't leave soon enough
Awesome
But there will be a solar eclipse in 1 0 days
Why would such a big event
happen on such a bad day?
Don't be so superstitious!
I don't care
I think we are so lucky
We've been getting along so well
I have never had a fight with you
But do you think we lack passion?
Should we have a fight?
Yeah, how should we start?
You don't know?
Are you stupid?
You just keep going on and on, it's so annoying
You want a fight, here it is!
Can't you just let me eat my dinner peacefully?
What's wrong with you?
I always have to clean up your mess
What now? What's with the long face?
You're not going to cry, are you?
Hey, darling
Hey... I'm just trying it out on you
Don't cry
We are just playing, right?
I've really scared you
Time out, we'll never try this again?
I'm just acting
We're fighting... I have to play my part
Your acting is good
Do you think this life style is more exciting and fun?
Well, It's beating faster
But not yet fast enough...
Come on, let's try it on
What? Here?
Yeah, come on, sit up!
Really?
Hey, no!
It's always me who clean up the mess
Go to our room... Come on...
I want to try and have a boy tonight
So what do I have to do?
you just have to lay down, and I'll take care of the rest
Subtitle by Aldi Arman
I'm the original Crane Master
I'm the Real Crane Master
I'm the original!
I'm the real one!
Fight!
Make a move!
Hey... can you two please stop this?
Hey, who the hell are you, bastard!
Ouch!
You...
My head hurts...
Ouch... I'm dying...
Please, spare me my life
What's the point of arguing here?
You two are so good
Why don't you leave the fight on stage?
Laughing at your husband's pain, you are so mean!
Oh, right
Darling!
Darling! Are you alright?
It's okay...
I was so worried
Your acting is quite over the top
Me over the top?
Nobody recognizes us
Yes
Not only does nobody recognize us
they keep calling me bastard
Bastard, bastard
I've also heard people calling you granny
Who called me granny? Who called me granny?
Are you happy when people calls me granny?
I've got to work
Who's calling me granny?
Puffer fish balloons, large and curvy
Pearly
The balloon is so big, it's cute
Hello
You hold on to her
The balloon might take her away
Bye
Flint
Panda masks
5 cents only, it's very popular
Hello
Doesn't this look cute?
This mask is much more fun, right?
Tell your parents to buy one for you...
Miss, how may I help you?
You look like someone I know
Who?
Gazer Warrior
Huh? Gayer Warrior?
Who is he, never heard of him?
I only said you looked like him
I'm Phoenix Bleu, an apprentice, and you are?
I'm Flint , the head of guards of this village
Alright, I'll call you Flinty
Hello!
My name is Kong... King Kong
Is there problem with your eyes?
No
I'm Phoenix Bleu
Hello, Phoenix
Would you know if there are places to stay?
Excuse me, I'm an official here
Which sect are you with?
Grandmaster of the Golden Gate
Kong... King Kong!
Oh, there's no record of you, Grandmaster Kong
It's under King
There's no record of that either
I'm not here to compete, I have special approval
I'm here as a spectator
Oh...
I'm a very important VIP
A spectator then
Hey...Garlic and Onion!
Take them to an inn
Would you be interested in looking for an inn with me?
Not interested
That's alright
But it will be the best and most expensive inn
The best place left is their home
But it's more expensive than an inn
Expensive is good
Here's your document
Take them home with you
Alright... see you...
He must be some spoiled rich kid
I don't like this type of guys
Well... What type of guys do you like?
I like Gazer Warrior
I met him once when I was a kid...
That day...
Geezer Warrior, this is for you
I absolutely love him
Really?
Your eyes look very similar
But he doesn't have as much beard
Well, do you like my beard?
It's not my thing
I'm hungry, are there any local delicacies?
Alright, let me take you out for food!
Do you eat snakes?
No, I don't
Scorpions, it's the best here
This place looks alright
just lacking some style
The colour is so bland
If this is my place
I'll make it much more vibrant, it'll look so much better
Exactly! Tea is ready
Come on, drink it
Please sit
Have a cup of tea
Hey, Rouge, where's your husband?
Busy working, of course
Right...
So many people have come for the event
Flint must be busy serving the guests
Yes, busy of course
What are you saying, why don't you come out with it?
It's nothing...
It's just that I saw your husband
He was walking around with a girl that dressed in blue
laughing and joking
I haven't seen him so happy for a while
Didn't you say a lot of guests have arrived
Nothing wrong with him serving a guest
Yes I see...
Do you remember Nancy?
Her husband was the same
He looked so good and honest
Out of the blue he ran off with a young girl!
That's why my mom always reminded me
All men think with their upper body!
It's the lower body!
Right, with their lower body, lower body
Flint and I are getting on really well
He won't cheat on me
So, what else has your mom taught you?
My mom also told me
if a man has another woman
when he gets home, he won't want to leave any traces
So the first thing he'll do when he's home
Is to take a bath!
Bath? Yes
Darling, I'm home!
Hey, you bitches, no...
Fatties, no...
Don't let me disturb you. I'm taking a bath
Of course he needs a bath after a busy day.
He stinks
Yes, yes
Also, when a man has cheated, he'll be extra happy
and he'll display this happiness unintentionally
Falsetto!
Yes, my husband is very talented
He can sing bass, alto and soprano
A man will also feel younger if he's cheating
and will be super hyperactive
The water must be cold he's making weird noises!
You know what men love to do when they feel younger?
Dress up!
Darling
Where's your beard?
How is it?
Do I look handsome?
Very much!
Let me cook tonight, you girls just talk
Flint...
You look so happy. Something good happened?
No, of course not
Since you are cooking, can we stay for dinner?
You girls are so hard to invite, of course!
Oh, yeah...
Don't you girls need to cook at home?
Leave, go home! Let's go...
Why have you shaved?
Didn't you say it's a mess?
Why didn't you shave last month or next month
Why today?
Yeah, why...
But why can't I shave today?
Because I don't like it today
Oh... you want a fight, right?
You are really good today
Let's listen!
Wow! It's a little fast
Hey, do you want to try for a boy or a girl?
Try in hell!
Hey, are you coming tomorrow?
To hell I will!
Do you want dinner?
Go to hell!
What the hell?
The Ranking Event is about to commence
Welcome the Grandmasters of the Five Mountains
Phoenix is waving at me
Now I present the organiser of this Ranking Event
Grandmaster Blanc of Bai Xiao Clan
Welcome to this Ranking Event
More and more sects of martial arts have developed
It's messy and non-coordinated
Some has been good, some has been disastrous
which has caused many friction
Before the old Grandmaster retired
he has hoped that I can hold a Ranking Event
so we can fairly and properly
decide which sect is the best at different disciplines
Let the Ranking Event commence
And now...
It's lunch time!
Great!
Let's get to work
Where's the food?
Hey, where is the food!
It's gone!
What?
Why?
The food we prepared was all eaten
Why don't you tell them to cook more?
The chefs all quitted because of the pressure!
This is the last chicken wing, I saved it for you
This wing is mine!
Wow...
Have they just been released from jail?
Lunch is here
We're saved
So many chicken wings
let's share
Share
Have some tea
Thank you, darling
Hey, I'm just here to see if there's any good-looking guys
I'm the good-looking guy
This is Grandmaster Blanc of
Bai Xiao Clan... And my wife
My name is Rouge
Hello, Madame
Your cooking is so good
Just look at all of them getting along
Food can really change this world
Can I have some more rice?
I'm sorry, he already took the last bowl
Grandmaster, if you don't mind, it's yours
Thank you
Excuse me
He shows such grace
even when fighting for food
So charming
Who does he think he is?
Dressing up matching colours to his name
Is he crazy?
Hey, have you finished looking?
I haven't eaten anything yet, I'm hungry
Make me something to eat
Alright, it'll be quick!
Hey, pass me some ginger...
Phoenix, how are things?
The girl in blue?
They are so happy
Go away!
What did you do?
Who's she?
She's an apprentice, Phoenix Bleu
You know her very well?
Not really...
we just met
Flinty
You okay, granny?
I'm granny, and he's Flinty!
It's going to start
I have to go
Bye Flinty... and Granny
Bye Mrs. Flint
Bye... Hey!
I don't like her
Why not? Phoenix has done nothing...
I don't care, my instinct tells me I don't
I don't like her
But... That's all
That's all!
Alright... I'm going back to work
Clean your face, you look like a coal miner
Freestyle fighting commences!
Green Mountain, 368 Roaring Power Punch
What do you think? Not bad, right?
When's he going to stop? Just watch
Are all of you nervous? Hope you get a good ranking
What's the use of getting a good ranking at this place?
It's not going to turn us rich
Stop explaining to a granny. What does she know?
Hey!
Don't call me granny, it's not polite
You are so granny-looking, what else should I call you?
Go and get us a fruit platter, but remember
apples need to be sliced
The oranges need to be peeled
You? What?
Just go and get it granny
To hell with you
You are all idiots! Mrs. Flint...
What fruit do you want, I'll get it for you in one go
No
I'm really sorry that they are causing you trouble
It's alright, I'm just here to help my husband
Hey, but they don't seem to be too happy
Maybe they are tired after such a long trip
Grandmaster, you are so young and handsome
and polite. You're a gem!
You're welcome
I'm just doing what the old Grandmaster has hoped
So why don't your apprentices enter the event?
For fairness all of our apprentices...
...are not allow to enter
That's like "'always the bridesmaid never the bride"'
Through generations, our teaching has been
to serve all sects of martial arts with all our hearts
See...
Yes!
Yeah!
All sects of martial arts have gathered, I'm so emotional
Why is there a need for different sects?
Do they really need it?
Do they have to have it?
I'm not the one who decides the sects
If they can give up their sects and become one
that'll be the best thing ever happened
Didn't realise you have such hidden depth
Phoenix is looking at me
You do change the topic pretty fast
So do you fancy her?
Yes
Then you have to think up some strategy
I never use any strategy on girls
Phoenix
I fancy you, do you fancy me?
No, I don't
How could that be?
Wow! That was a real eye opener
You're welcome
I really can't think of anything, what have you got?
In the game of love
it is all about who fancies who more
Thank you for your guidance
What should I do next?
You need to get attention...
...without making the first move
And when she does, you'll mean that much more
Flinty!
Are you alright?
Flinty, I've got some dates...
...from home for you to try
I think there's something wrong with him
Just be careful of him
Here, try one
Let me feed you. Don't get your hands dirty
Hey, it's working
She has noticed you, now walk on, go
Wow! Excellent punch!
There's no way he could have dodged the punch
Why so?
He threw a punch straight at him
Then an uppercut and ends with a hook
He saw it coming
His face was distorted but couldn't dodge in time
Wow, Mrs. Flint, that was insightful
Talk in so much details, do you practice martial arts?
My neighbours are a couple, they fight all the time
I've learnt all these from them
Look...
Mrs. Flint
Have a bun
Mrs. Flint, are you alright?
Have another one
Wow, your hands are so cold. Aren't you feeling well?
Mrs. Flint, it happens when I travel, thank you
How come? let me warm them up for you
No, it's okay
Let me warm them up Mrs. Flint, please stop
The winner of freestyle fighting is
Red Mountain
Yes!
Let's move on to the next event
Palm Power Contest!
1 meter 70, next!
Grey Mountain
What were you doing with that blue thing?
Nothing, just watching the event
Did you two have to be so close?
Feeding you?
I haven't washed my hands after going to the toilet!
Wow, you are a crap liar
I don't care, I don't want you so close to her
Stop talking about me
You were rubbing your hands with that white guy
You think I didn't see it!
Hey! What?
Alright, I think something's weird about him
His hands...
So if you just want to rub his hands again
Don't say it's weird!
Are you throwing yourself all over him
because he's handsome and rich, granny!
Granny?
Hey, am I getting better at starting a fight with you?
What are you doing?
Let's not fight like this
Let's do some real fighting
Hey, are you for real or just messing around?
Of course I'm messing around
Come out
Hey! Look at you, you are just leading me on
I won't come out!
Come on out
No I won't!
Just a little
Alright, a little bit
It's a curler!
7 meter 40, new record
That was mine! No, that's mine!
Don't be so shocked
That was my apprentice's "'Yellow Mountain Palm Two"'
He hit it once, but the power comes out twice
So we win this, thank you
You're a liar. That was obviously my apprentice's
"'Black Mountain Before n' After Palm"'... yeah right?
Stop fighting!
It's actually "'Grey Mountain Ping Pong Palm"'
Yesterday, I hit out, that was the "'Ping"'
And that was... Can you stop lying?
That was obviously my "'Green Mountain..."'
Look what you've done to the event
Why is it my fault?
You don't think it's mine, do you?
Darling, I beg you
Please don't let your imagination run wild, alright?
Why don't you go home, cook something,
wait for me
and have a romantic dinner for two, alright?
After dinner, we can, you know
What?
You know...
Just stop asking, it'll be a surprise
This again?
No, that doesn't work
I've got something new Really?
Be good, just go home
These are for you
This is the first time you've ever given me flowers
If you like it, I can buy them for you everyday
It's more romantic if it's only every so often
Alright...
Hurry up, it's an all chicken feast
We can go back to our room afterward for a surprise
Slow down, there are plenty more surprises
What other surprises have you got?
Big surprise
Look
How can anyone live here?
The decorations are alright?
Hey, you've mud all over my floor
It's alright
It's not mud
It's dog poo
Hey, that's my dinner, stop eating it!
Put them down! Don't break my bowl
This is our special wine
Hey, be careful with my plates and mugs!
This tastes alright
You come with me!
What are you playing at?
I thought it's the two of us, why all these people?
Listen to me, it's because
they were fighting over the results...
Hello, Mrs. Flint
The flowers are from her
What are you trying to do to me?
I can forget those weird guys but you invited her?
Like I was telling you
The Five Grandmasters were fighting over the results
So I asked them to stop for my sake
They said they'll only agree if I pay for their dinner
So I invited them home
Yes! Right...
I invited Phoenix personally
Why are you bullying me?
I said I don't like her, and now you take her home!
Mrs. Flint
She's alright, why are you being so dramatic?
I'm dramatic?
I'm not playing this game. Fighting is not fun!
They are fighting, what should we do?
We'll finish up and leave Right...
I'm telling you, if she doesn't leave, I'll leave
Mr. and Mrs. Flint , I should go! Hey...
You're such a disgrace
I'll go with you
Flint , if you leave this house right now...
Then never come back!
Phoenix, thank you
The doctor said our lives are too routine
My wife needs some big excitement
to have any chance to have a child
Can you help me, just play along, alright?
Flinty, I don't understand
Do you have to upset her so much?
If it's not exciting enough, it won't work for her
Really?
I won't lie to you
I have to go
Flinty, I have something wanting to ask you
Come on, I'm in a rush
Are you Gazer Warrior?
How do I know? Just don't ask
Good bye, Flinty
Good bye
Thank you
Darling What are you doing?
There's not much time... Why are you back?
Child...
Are you crazy! I can kill you!
Wow! It's beating fast! What are you doing?
Awesome! What are you doing?
Let me go, psycho...
Phoenix and I tried very hard to convince you
Your pulse rate is perfect to have a child, come on!
Hey! Our own child...
What we want most is a simple home
Now we have our own home
all that's missing is a child
Darling
My superpower eyes can see through you
You always want to be a mother
Now's the time
Darling
But can you see
during all these years that we retired
how happy I am, how much I want to thank you?
Even though I don't have your superpower
I can still see through you
You miss two persons
Aroma Woman and Gazer Warrior
Darling, I love you
Darling
Hubby...
Why don't we come out of retirement!
Awesome
I have a reliable source
The Ranking Event
Does that Blanc really think he's a Grandmaster
Got us up this early in the morning
And no apprentices, who'll buy breakfast for us?
Grandmaster Blanc
Look everyone
There's a solar eclipse
Has any of you...
heard of Extraction?
It's an evil technique to improve one's martial art
by stealing others memory
It is the most evil of all martial arts
There's only evil people
There're no evil martial arts
Legend has it when an eclipse occurs
it's the best time to complete the practice for Extraction
Apart from the solar eclipse
memories of martial arts experts are also needed
Minds into one
Blanc, we both knew you were up to something
Stop using this voice
It hurts your throat, and it doesn't sound good
Alright
So darling
How did you figure out Blanc was up to something?
It's from the answer he gave me
But why would he tell you the truth?
Sometimes the answer is
from the body language
I praised him being young and ambitious
He answered with his hand stroking his nose
That means he felt ashamed by it
Same as when you lied about being out with a girl
I asked why doesn't Bai Xiao Clan enter the event
He told me something about teachings and generations
But his waggling finger sold him out
The waggling of finger is to emphasize his own word
Make himself believe what he was saying
Just like you lied
when you invited those bitches to stay for dinner
Amazing
At that moment, I couldn't hide my curiosity either
The touching of nose is very inconspicuous
Hey! Why don't you stop making an example of me?
And, his hand is unusually cold
I know
Because he thinks about running all the time
so all the blood is at his feet, his hands are cold
Wrong! What?
Practicing Extraction will lose body temperature
and become a cold blooded animal!
Darling, you are better than Sherlock Holmes
Never would have thought this event
would also attracts the infamous Mr. & Mrs. Incredible
This is fate!
Blanc, you are young and talented, come to the light
We can help you fight your internal demon
Turning others' martial arts into my own is my talent
Why can't I practice this?
Looks like he's too far into it
We have to finish him
Darling... Wait a second
My hands are really itching
Let me warm up first
Poke!
Kick!
Punch!
It's fun to kick villain's ass
Aroma Woman, I miss you
Gazer Warrior, I miss you too
Hey! What?
Maybe you should go on a diet
You nearly broke my leg when you stepped on it
Alright, no more supper from tonight
Still want more?
Let's finish him off
I wonder what it'll be like
with all your seven...
... of your powers together?
Darling!
If Gazer Warrior is Flint
then Aroma Woman must be Mrs. Flint
Darling, wake up!
Darling...
Gazer Warrior is gone forever
Darling... Darling...
Darling...
Ying and Yang, black and white, water and fire
They are all about balance
When balance is broken, it will lead to self destruction
Teacher, I have not lost balance, I will not lose balance
Deadly Gazer?
Darling...
This is fun, I want everything
Darling!
Go, darling
Darling, look how much nonsense we do
Doing nonsense is good
Darling
I am so happy you are with me in this life
You are the one I love
You are also my best friend
This is what I dreamt of
I really want to have a child with you
We'll have to remember each other
We'll be husband and wife again in our next life
Let's hold the talk, we've still got a chance
He takes whatever make contact with him
This tree is thousand years old, it can take him down
Teacher, look at me. Look at how powerful I am
Darling, are you alright?
Do you recognize me?
It's me, your wife
Darling, darling
How can I not recognize my gorgeous wife
It's alright
Wait a second What's the matter?
Awesome!
Even my "'old eyes"' have gone, everything is clear now
My wife looks so beautiful up close. Awesome!
Didn't I look beautiful up close?
You looked like a mess
Darling Honey
What's happening? What is this?
Barbecue?
All of you who practice martial arts are so naive!
I was hoping Blanc can help me...
...overthrow the Emperor
I guess he's just crap too
It's alright
Now I have gathered all the martial arts secrets
I can train up a large and strong army instead
Go in... hurry up...
As for this village
because of the plague, no one survived
The Five Grandmasters must be honoured
to have you two die with them
Kill them!
King Kong?
I'm not a Grandmaster
I'm...
Royal chop?
Your Majesty?
Are you hurt, Your Majesty?
Your Majesty
Wise leadership, Your Majesty
All this has nothing to do with me
It was all Blanc's doing
I don't know him that well, Your Majesty
You are so thick skinned
I like you more for that
Take him away, I'll deal with this personally
I am innocent, Your Majesty
Your Majesty!
Wait... This is the antidote to my Aroma Palm
Rest a few more days, then they'll be fine
Granny! Granny!
Here
Let him enjoy this for a few more days
Yes! No!
Who's the granny!?
Flint
Your Majesty Please stand
You two serve and protect this country
Taught me how to chat up girls, you shall be rewarded
Thank you, Your Majesty
Your Majesty
Mrs. Flint, what are you eating?
Blanc has extracted so much and became this
This must be good for us, it's fresh
Hey, don't be so selfish, leave some for me
Oh, okay
Do you worry when we fought for our lives?
Of course!
It's beating fast!
Let's go home Great
Hey, this still has some taste left in it
While it's still fresh, Your Majesty
Go on, put it in your mouth
Flint, Flint
Are you sure the baby will come today?
If not, why don't we play Texas Hold'em
Poker! Poker!
I'll hold your head down...
Help me!
This hurts!
This big?
Is it a boy or girl?
Just wait, let me take a look
Didn't have time!
Awesome
Let mommy play a game with you
Aroma Woman, mommy
It's my turn, it's my turn
Let me play with him
Subtitle by Aldi Arman