1
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,562
<i>There's no bell</i>

2
00:01:02,564 --> 00:01:05,330
<i>When you call for me</i>

3
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:08,401
<i>You'll be falling for miles</i>

4
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,908
<i>I'm bewitched by your misery</i>

5
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,977
<i>But I love it when you smile</i>

6
00:01:17,979 --> 00:01:20,915
<i>Let me know
what you want from me</i>

7
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,851
<i>Whisper "love" in my ears</i>

8
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,790
<i>Before you try
to get your hooks in me</i>

9
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:34,860
<i>I should warn you, my dear</i>

10
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:38,263
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

11
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,200
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

12
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:46,238
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

13
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,974
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

14
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:53,115
<i>No escaping the way you feel</i>

15
00:01:54,749 --> 00:01:58,283
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

16
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:02,155
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

17
00:02:02,157 --> 00:02:08,093
- <i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>
- <i>Haunted house</i>

18
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:13,800
<i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>

19
00:02:13,802 --> 00:02:16,171
<i>Haunted house</i>

20
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,754
My love.

21
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,991
<i>Cara mia.</i>

22
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,862
The ring! The ring!
Oh, no! No, no, no!

23
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,341
Oh, Thing!
Best hand always has the ring!

24
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,717
Dearly be-loathed,

25
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,721
it is indeed a rare privilege
to see our family

26
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:13,358
gathered together
for this Addams tradition.

27
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,661
To commence this ceremony

28
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,196
and deliver these two

29
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:21,234
into the yawning void
of matrimony,

30
00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:25,874
we put the lime in the coconut
and drink them both up.

31
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,547
I now pronounce you...

32
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,916
- Monsters!
- Freaks!

33
00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:38,016
Get out, Addams!

34
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,184
You've been here
long enough!

35
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,887
We've had
enough of your kind!

36
00:03:40,889 --> 00:03:42,354
Addams aren't wanted here!

37
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,822
Leave already!

38
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,557
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

39
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,726
Quick, put the lime
in the coconut

40
00:03:46,728 --> 00:03:48,193
and drink 'em both up!

41
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:54,432
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

42
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:55,836
This is our home!

43
00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,037
You're not wanted!

44
00:03:58,039 --> 00:03:59,238
We don't want you here!

45
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,076
Everyone, to the bridge!

46
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,611
Fire!

47
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:07,782
Fire!

48
00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:25,764
You two love bats
better fly out of here!

49
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,633
I'll hold them off!

50
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,067
Mazurka!

51
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,375
Grab onto my hairy hump!

52
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,547
I think I can see
my house from here.

53
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,217
Oh, no.
That's a women's prison.

54
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:48,253
Oh, Gomez, why do hordes
of angry villagers

55
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,821
follow us everywhere we go?

56
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:53,424
We are safe, my love,
that is all that matters.

57
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,260
I want to find a new home

58
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,296
that is shrouded
from the world.

59
00:04:57,298 --> 00:05:00,299
Someplace that is truly us.

60
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:04,001
Yes! Somewhere horrible!
Somewhere corrupt!

61
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,237
Somewhere that no one
in their right mind

62
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,008
would be caught dead in!

63
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,518
Unhappy, darling?

64
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,255
Yes, completely.

65
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,592
Oh, Gomez,
you have torn down my walls

66
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:29,294
and stabbed your name
onto my heart.

67
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:33,131
My wan temptress,

68
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,202
your hand is as cold
as a dead fish.

69
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:38,804
My love, that is a dead fish.

70
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,272
Mmm, mmm...

71
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,543
So it is.

72
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,046
Darling,

73
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,850
is that a wrinkle
I see on your pallid brow?

74
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,051
What's wrong?

75
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,188
We can't run forever, my love.

76
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,056
I want a home again.

77
00:05:57,058 --> 00:05:59,792
I want our children
to grow up in peace.

78
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,294
I want to pick out
cemetery plots.

79
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:06,231
Morticia, I swear on my life
I will find us a new home.

80
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,503
And your every wish
shall be granted.

81
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,736
<i>Mon amour.</i>

82
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:15,073
French. You know
what that does to me.

83
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,413
<i>Wild thing</i>

84
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,648
<i>You make my heart...</i>

85
00:06:30,058 --> 00:06:31,926
We hit something!

86
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,868
Is he all right?

87
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:44,436
No, he seems
perfectly demented.

88
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:48,407
"State Hospital for
the Criminally Insane."

89
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,944
Gomez.

90
00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:55,679
That must be
the asylum.

91
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,215
Oh, thank goodness.

92
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,684
A decent place
to sleep for the night.

93
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,426
Hmm?

94
00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:08,695
Thank you, old boy.
Lead the way.

95
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:29,080
It's quiet. Too quiet.

96
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,652
Must be the off-season.

97
00:07:39,661 --> 00:07:40,728
Hello?

98
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:46,164
There's no one here.

99
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,400
Could it be abandoned?

100
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:51,135
It's creepy. Kooky.

101
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,075
Mysterious. Spooky.

102
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,486
Huh?

103
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:56,037
<i>Get out!</i>

104
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,071
It's hideous.

105
00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:00,574
It's horrible.

106
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,307
It's home.

107
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,351
What a lovely morning!

108
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,485
Nice try.

109
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:58,322
<i>Get out!</i>

110
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,628
Oh, you're always so grumpy
before your morning coffee.

111
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,970
Better?

112
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,955
<i>Lurch,</i>

113
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,125
<i>it's time for breakfast.</i>

114
00:11:50,812 --> 00:11:52,844
Thing.

115
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,650
Have Ichabod
wake the children.

116
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,552
Lurch, would you mind
dusting the house?

117
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,856
Mmm.

118
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,830
Slowly, Cleopatra.

119
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,736
I wouldn't want my favorite
African Strangler to choke.

120
00:12:57,712 --> 00:13:00,778
All right, Ichabod. I'm awake.

121
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,717
Not for long.

122
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,749
Real mature, Pugsley.

123
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,119
Oh, please.

124
00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,321
You never threw an axe
when you were my age?

125
00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:13,093
Of course I did.
I never missed.

126
00:13:15,563 --> 00:13:17,262
How I wish something
would liven up

127
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,064
this already tedious day.

128
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,771
Thanks for trying, Ichabod.

129
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,760
Hmm.

130
00:14:12,653 --> 00:14:13,784
<i>Pugsley?</i>

131
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:17,321
Pugsley! It's time
for sword practice.

132
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,956
Pugsley!

133
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,627
Let the games begin.

134
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:51,058
Here's Pugsley!

135
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:10,378
All right, son.
That's enough.

136
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:14,748
They blow up
so fast these days.

137
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,627
Don't make me come up there!

138
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,803
This is your last warning!

139
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,983
My head. Ow, ow, ow.

140
00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:54,418
Pugsley, we're supposed to be
working on your swordplay.

141
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,622
Your Sabre Mazurka
is two weeks away,

142
00:15:56,624 --> 00:15:58,623
and you've barely
practiced at all.

143
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,825
So I missed one practice.
What's the big deal?

144
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,761
The big deal?

145
00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:05,397
The Sabre Mazurka
is the most important day

146
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,663
in a young man's life.

147
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,167
It's what makes you an Addams.

148
00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:11,268
It's the day your entire
family gathers around you

149
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:14,772
and passes judgment on
your worth as a human being.

150
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,273
I hear it's like Thanksgiving.

151
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:19,243
But swords
are so old-fashioned.

152
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,113
I'm more of a demolitions man.

153
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:25,653
Explosives have no place
in a Mazurka. Hand them over.

154
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,156
All of them.

155
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,157
And the TNT.

156
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,960
And the M-80s.

157
00:16:34,962 --> 00:16:38,363
Roman candles. Bang snaps.
Holy Hand Grenades.

158
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:44,536
Son, our family hasn't been
all together in 13 years.

159
00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,638
They are coming
from all over the world

160
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,974
to see you
on your special day.

161
00:16:48,976 --> 00:16:51,011
I just want it
to go perfectly.

162
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:53,979
All right, Pop.
I'll practice.

163
00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:55,513
That's my boy.

164
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,287
Putrid.

165
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,690
Mmm. Horrifying.

166
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,060
I call spleen.

167
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,694
Mmm...

168
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,162
- Ah, ow...
- Wednesday.

169
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,830
Please, no ink stains
on the table.

170
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,733
Yes, Mother.

171
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,205
Gomez, everyone we've invited

172
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,906
to the Mazurka
has threatened to come.

173
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,808
I know. Isn't it wonderful?

174
00:17:25,913 --> 00:17:29,147
All Addamses
under one roof again.

175
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,916
Yes, but where will
everyone sleep?

176
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:33,350
We'll have Lurch fix up
the mausoleum.

177
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,852
It'll be like
sleepaway camp.

178
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,389
Very well, darling.

179
00:17:41,896 --> 00:17:43,194
Uncle Fester!

180
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:44,862
Brother!

181
00:17:47,935 --> 00:17:49,234
Don't worry, I'm okay.

182
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,336
The plate glass window
broke my fall.

183
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,737
Ha! Ha!

184
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,573
<i>Rick'em,
rack'em, roar'em, buzz</i>

185
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,542
<i>Addams is as Addams does</i>

186
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,214
I am thrilled you're here!

187
00:18:03,551 --> 00:18:04,949
I'm not late, am I?

188
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,651
Actually, we weren't expecting
you for another two weeks.

189
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,521
Huh. So, not late.

190
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,055
I apologize, darling.

191
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,124
You see,
I asked Fester to come early

192
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,627
to help Pugsley
with his Mazurka practice.

193
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:17,395
Hey!

194
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:18,463
No! No!

195
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,764
Bad Kitty!
That's a bad Kitty!

196
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,032
If I'd known you were coming,

197
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,801
I would have prepared
the dungeon.

198
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,704
Please, don't worry.
I'll sleep in the attic.

199
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,438
You won't even know I'm here.

200
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,744
I've practiced that move
in a lot of people's homes.

201
00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:35,213
Uncle,

202
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,682
can you tell us
what's beyond the gate?

203
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,054
Why ever would you
ask that, dear?

204
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,523
I heard a strange noise
in the fog earlier,

205
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,157
and I should like
to investigate.

206
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,327
There's nothing out there
but boring marshland.

207
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,597
There must be something.
We never go anywhere.

208
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,332
Who knows the untold horrors
we're missing out on.

209
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,269
Darling,
we have all the horror

210
00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:58,436
we need, right here.

211
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,472
Uncle Fester can go
wherever he likes.

212
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,375
Now, now,
there are some restrictions.

213
00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:05,444
You know,
I can't go to the mall,

214
00:19:05,446 --> 00:19:07,512
or a zoo, or a building...

215
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,612
When you're older,

216
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,314
you can travel
to your heart's content.

217
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,120
But for now,
it's safer for you here.

218
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:16,524
Socrates, come.

219
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,657
...South America,
Europe, China,

220
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,360
Asia, most parts of Africa.

221
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,332
I'm allowed in Antarctica!

222
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,677
<i>You're watching</i>

223
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,948
<i>Home, Art
and Garden television.</i>

224
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,818
The world's a big place,
full of poor souls

225
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:49,853
who don't know the difference
between shiplap and Shinola.

226
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,455
Well, I'm here to help.

227
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,060
<i>I take your
uninspired living space</i>

228
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,129
<i>and turn it into the perfect
palace of your dreams.</i>

229
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,902
No matter how outdated your
design sense, I can help you.

230
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,203
<i>My only flaw?</i>

231
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,171
<i>Sometimes I care too much.</i>

232
00:20:08,342 --> 00:20:10,308
I'm Margaux Needler,

233
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:14,212
and I'm about to stage
a <i>Design Intervention!</i>

234
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,580
You're welcome in advance.

235
00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,550
Today, we're putting
the finishing touches

236
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,718
on our biggest project yet.

237
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,387
Assimilation.

238
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,421
We didn't just
make over a house.

239
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,360
We made over a whole town!

240
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,895
And in just two weeks,
on our live season finale,

241
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,030
you will be able to buy

242
00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:33,599
your very own
piece of Assimilation.

243
00:20:33,601 --> 00:20:34,698
That's right!

244
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,734
In a <i>Design Intervention</i>
first,

245
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:40,204
we are putting a whole
neighborhood up for sale.

246
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:42,005
This will be
your chance to purchase

247
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,140
the house of your dreams

248
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:45,275
in the town of your dreams!

249
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:47,512
Sounds good?
I thought so.

250
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:50,014
Welcome to Assimilation,
neighbor.

251
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,550
<i>This program
brought to you</i>

252
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:53,618
<i>by Neighborhood Peeps.</i>

253
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,023
<i>Your neighbors are watching!</i>

254
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,191
And, we're out!

255
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,625
Love it. Perfect.

256
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,494
Let's set up
for the walk-through.

257
00:21:02,496 --> 00:21:03,828
Margaux,
did that feel good to you?

258
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:04,928
No, Glenn.

259
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,299
We need more balloons,
more confetti.

260
00:21:07,301 --> 00:21:09,367
- Roger that.
- What are we selling here?

261
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:12,436
Big dreams. You know
how you get big dreams?

262
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,804
- Uh...
- With big ratings.

263
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,072
- Got it.
- Double the balloons.

264
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,907
And I want
a blizzard of confetti.

265
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:18,475
I want so much confetti
that we need

266
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,611
snow patrols
to find lost children.

267
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,914
I bet my home improvement
empire on this town.

268
00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,381
Every house must sell

269
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,715
or we're out of business!

270
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,918
- It's got to be perfect!
- Mom!

271
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,654
You're never
gonna believe this.

272
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:30,754
What is it, Parker?

273
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,558
I found a creepy mansion
up on the hill!

274
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,992
I'm so glad you're exploring,
Parker,

275
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,962
but I don't have time
to talk right now, sweetheart.

276
00:21:36,964 --> 00:21:38,596
Mama needs to help people.

277
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:41,064
I need help.
Aren't I people?

278
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:42,833
Oh, you're cute.

279
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,836
Don't you have Chipper 'N'
Cheer practice this afternoon?

280
00:21:44,838 --> 00:21:46,138
Run along, honey.

281
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:47,938
Now, Glenn, what are
the numbers we're expecting?

282
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,340
- Well, if you look here...
- Mom!

283
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,644
Ugh!

284
00:22:01,254 --> 00:22:03,524
Left a bit. Up a bit.

285
00:22:03,957 --> 00:22:06,090
Now, down a bit.

286
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,495
Perfect.

287
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:13,130
And three, two, one...

288
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:20,472
You made me miss!

289
00:22:20,474 --> 00:22:23,942
Do you know how long
it took for me to set this up?

290
00:22:23,944 --> 00:22:25,842
Look, Pugsley...

291
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:29,847
Your Mazurka's coming up,
and, well, you're not ready.

292
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,516
Even if I am the only one
who sees it.

293
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,552
So, pay attention,

294
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:36,021
and you might actually
get through this.

295
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:37,024
Wait.

296
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:40,226
You're going to help me?

297
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:41,993
Why?

298
00:22:41,995 --> 00:22:44,628
Because you are my brother.

299
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:49,032
And... I love you.

300
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,206
All right.
How are you gonna help me?

301
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,209
You see that hole over there?

302
00:22:58,211 --> 00:22:59,679
Go stand beside it.

303
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:02,546
Uh... That hole?

304
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:03,982
That hole.

305
00:23:03,984 --> 00:23:05,884
Mmm...
I don't get it.

306
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:10,890
Whoa.

307
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:24,702
Darling, not to criticize,

308
00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:27,038
but is that really
as tight as you can make it?

309
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,872
I'm sorry, Gomez.

310
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,908
I'm just a bit preoccupied
with the Mazurka preparations.

311
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,512
Oh, I am as well!

312
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:36,981
I fear Pugsley
is overconfident

313
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,016
and doesn't truly understand

314
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:41,619
the importance
of this tradition.

315
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:43,620
Good news, everybody.
Pugsley's gone.

316
00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:45,889
Wednesday,
I know that tone of voice.

317
00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:48,091
Dig up your brother. At once.

318
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,726
You're weakening
the gene pool.

319
00:23:49,728 --> 00:23:51,094
Hold on.

320
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,263
What do you have there?

321
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:55,466
I'm not sure.
I like it.

322
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:59,803
It's so... What's the word?
The opposite of sad?

323
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:01,607
Darling, bring that to me.

324
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:07,978
Strange, there's usually
a murderous clown

325
00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:10,214
attached to the other
end of these.

326
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:13,083
Wednesday, don't move!

327
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:18,222
What, in the name of
all that is unholy, is that?

328
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:21,391
It tastes like cotton candy.

329
00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:23,293
How do you know
what cotton candy tastes like?

330
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,763
Tish, it was my youth.
I made mistakes.

331
00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:28,465
Wednesday, wherever did
this pink thing come from?

332
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:29,833
Outside.

333
00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:32,139
They're everywhere.

334
00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:42,346
Strangest weather
system I've ever seen.

335
00:24:48,188 --> 00:24:51,356
What is that?
Where's it coming from?

336
00:24:51,358 --> 00:24:52,756
Wait, wait, wait.

337
00:24:52,758 --> 00:24:55,292
The fog, it's lifting.

338
00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:57,028
Well, that would
only happen if...

339
00:24:57,030 --> 00:25:00,701
Someone drained the marsh.
But who?

340
00:25:03,336 --> 00:25:06,137
A town.
This is not good.

341
00:25:06,139 --> 00:25:07,371
We must go down there

342
00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:09,273
and introduce ourselves
at once.

343
00:25:09,275 --> 00:25:13,045
This day is becoming
most wonderfully disruptive.

344
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:28,792
Let's keep going
with the run-through, okay?

345
00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:29,894
Welcome back.

346
00:25:29,896 --> 00:25:31,696
I'm so delighted
to show you my house.

347
00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:34,732
You can own one just like it,
just less large.

348
00:25:34,734 --> 00:25:37,635
Blah, blah, blah.
Sconces, crown molding.

349
00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:40,871
Which leads us to what I call
the Salon de Grandé.

350
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,774
Cross here, turn,
and then say something like,

351
00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:45,743
"Now, before I show you
this view,

352
00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:47,378
"go to an antique store,

353
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:49,981
"buy a chair,
and reupholster it.

354
00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:51,919
"'Cause you're gonna
wanna sit down for this."

355
00:25:54,853 --> 00:25:56,454
What? What's the matter?

356
00:25:56,456 --> 00:25:58,222
For heaven's sake,
what's going on?

357
00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:00,994
Do I have something
in my teeth? What is it?

358
00:26:10,370 --> 00:26:11,569
Not a single gargoyle.

359
00:26:11,571 --> 00:26:13,772
Maybe this isn't
such a bad thing.

360
00:26:13,774 --> 00:26:15,874
We have been
isolated here for a while.

361
00:26:15,876 --> 00:26:18,512
I could really
see myself dying here.

362
00:26:20,714 --> 00:26:22,080
Play nice, Kitty.

363
00:26:23,216 --> 00:26:25,183
Well, no one is running at us

364
00:26:25,185 --> 00:26:28,619
with torches and pitchforks,
so that's a plus.

365
00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:31,156
You know, darling,
I don't think we'll need

366
00:26:31,158 --> 00:26:32,924
to put the family
in the mausoleum.

367
00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:34,457
They can stay here!

368
00:26:34,459 --> 00:26:36,695
The family
would never be comfortable.

369
00:26:36,697 --> 00:26:37,794
It will be years

370
00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:39,798
before rust and decay set in.

371
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,031
How you doing?

372
00:26:41,033 --> 00:26:43,303
It's all so... different.

373
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,937
Pugsley, don't drink it all.

374
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:49,573
This gentleman
wants some, too.

375
00:26:49,575 --> 00:26:51,408
Sir, it's all right.

376
00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:53,311
He's had all his shots!

377
00:26:53,313 --> 00:26:54,811
What a nervous man.

378
00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:57,815
Come on, Tish, let's
explore the neighborhood.

379
00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,483
I'm gonna pop in here
for two minutes

380
00:26:59,485 --> 00:27:01,985
and I'll meet you in
the town square. Agreed?

381
00:27:01,987 --> 00:27:03,090
Very well, darling.

382
00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:06,224
Good day, all.

383
00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:10,060
Don't let me interrupt
your cup of joe

384
00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:12,464
or whoever you have in there.

385
00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:16,934
So, what's dark and bitter
here other than yours truly?

386
00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:20,605
We have the
Madagascar Emerald Peaberry,

387
00:27:20,607 --> 00:27:22,106
in a summer patchouli roast.

388
00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:26,343
It has notes of oak,
cherry, and yoga.

389
00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:31,182
Hmm. You know, I'm looking
for something a bit stronger.

390
00:27:31,184 --> 00:27:32,853
Ah! Let me try that.

391
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,124
Mmm! Morticia, you have
to try these coffee grounds.

392
00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:41,658
They have a wonderful grit!

393
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:44,028
Just a moment,
what am I hearing?

394
00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:46,863
<i>This is where
we all belong, yeah</i>

395
00:27:46,865 --> 00:27:48,432
<i>Everybody come together</i>

396
00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:51,770
<i>Sing our song, sing our song</i>

397
00:27:51,772 --> 00:27:55,673
<i>Life is really perfect
We are one big family, yeah</i>

398
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:57,340
<i>Everything is so much better</i>

399
00:27:57,342 --> 00:27:59,446
<i>When I'm like you
and you're like me</i>

400
00:28:00,447 --> 00:28:04,282
<i>What's so great
about being yourself</i>

401
00:28:04,284 --> 00:28:07,151
<i>When you can be
like everyone else?</i>

402
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:11,488
Wow, that is
absolutely horrible!

403
00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:15,326
<i>It's easy to be happy
when you have no choice</i>

404
00:28:15,328 --> 00:28:18,696
<i>Yes, it's easy to be happy
when you have no choice</i>

405
00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:20,798
Hold on,
unless I miss my guess here,

406
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,701
I believe that is
supposed to be music.

407
00:28:23,703 --> 00:28:24,869
They're greeting us with

408
00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:26,303
one of their
traditional songs.

409
00:28:26,305 --> 00:28:27,870
Well, then,
we ought to do the same.

410
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:30,140
Wonderful idea, Fester.

411
00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:32,243
<i>Isn't it great
when we are all together?</i>

412
00:28:32,245 --> 00:28:36,180
<i>Say it again
until you believe it</i>

413
00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:38,215
<i>I believe it</i>

414
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:39,652
<i>We believe it</i>

415
00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:45,555
<i>I'd tip my hat to you</i>

416
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,891
<i>I'd do just that</i>

417
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:50,395
<i>Take it right off for you,
But I haven't got a hat</i>

418
00:28:51,931 --> 00:28:54,631
<i>I'm just a college boy,
even at that</i>

419
00:28:55,768 --> 00:28:58,502
<i>I'd tip my hat to you
But I haven't got a hat</i>

420
00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:07,276
What? What'd I do?

421
00:29:07,278 --> 00:29:08,579
How rude.

422
00:29:08,581 --> 00:29:10,880
Gomez, we should return home.

423
00:29:10,882 --> 00:29:13,951
Morticia,
this is not the old country.

424
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:16,454
True, these people
are a little different.

425
00:29:16,456 --> 00:29:18,589
But deep down,
we're all the same.

426
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:22,126
We have to give them a chance.
Get to know them.

427
00:29:22,128 --> 00:29:23,695
We have to win them over.

428
00:29:23,697 --> 00:29:25,398
"Win them over"?

429
00:29:26,131 --> 00:29:28,067
Well, good morning, neighbor!

430
00:29:28,567 --> 00:29:30,067
Margaux Needler.

431
00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:33,404
Gomez Addams.
At your service.

432
00:29:33,406 --> 00:29:34,772
My wife, Morticia.

433
00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:35,906
Charmed.

434
00:29:35,908 --> 00:29:39,109
Our children,
Wednesday, Pugsley.

435
00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:40,744
And my brother, Fester.

436
00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:41,878
Hey, neighbor!

437
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,080
You know, we can see
right into your windows?

438
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:47,417
Nice to, uh, meet you.

439
00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:50,119
As your neighbor,
I'd like to offer you

440
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,223
the opportunity of a lifetime.

441
00:29:52,225 --> 00:29:54,492
How'd you like
a free home makeover

442
00:29:54,494 --> 00:29:57,160
from a world-renowned
interior designer?

443
00:29:57,162 --> 00:29:58,494
It will be a challenge,

444
00:29:58,496 --> 00:30:00,965
but I can beautify that
old house of yours so fast,

445
00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:02,199
it'll make your head spin.

446
00:30:02,201 --> 00:30:03,301
I don't wanna brag,

447
00:30:03,303 --> 00:30:04,935
but mine already does that.
Look.

448
00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:10,640
I should like to see what this
plastic woman has to offer.

449
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:13,644
Yes, well... When is
a good time to stop by?

450
00:30:13,646 --> 00:30:16,446
Actually, Ms. Needler...

451
00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:18,448
Darling...

452
00:30:18,450 --> 00:30:21,285
Stop by anytime you'd like.

453
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,486
Oh, wonderful!
Then it's settled.

454
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,822
I'll see you at your house,
first thing tomorrow.

455
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,426
You're welcome in advance! Ta!

456
00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:33,496
That woman seems deranged.

457
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,631
Her face reminds me
of a death mask.

458
00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:38,002
"Deranged"? "Death mask"?

459
00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:40,204
You tell me
she's got halitosis,

460
00:30:40,206 --> 00:30:41,942
and I'm hearing wedding bells!

461
00:30:54,152 --> 00:30:59,223
Pugsley, this is
the Addams family saber.

462
00:30:59,225 --> 00:31:02,025
300 years of Addams

463
00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:05,130
have danced the Mazurka
with this blade.

464
00:31:05,797 --> 00:31:06,898
Uh-uh.

465
00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:09,500
Only when
you've shown me you're ready.

466
00:31:09,502 --> 00:31:15,039
Your father was the greatest
swordsman in Addams history.

467
00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:18,309
His Mazurka
was the stuff of legends.

468
00:31:18,311 --> 00:31:21,078
So no pressure!

469
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,580
It's all right here,
in the Mazurka handbook.

470
00:31:24,582 --> 00:31:28,051
Every Addams performs
this rite of passage

471
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:31,421
to show that you're prepared
to defend your family.

472
00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:34,759
It sounds easy,
but believe me, it's insane!

473
00:31:34,761 --> 00:31:35,926
Fester, hand him

474
00:31:35,928 --> 00:31:37,863
the goo-goo-ga-ga
baby training sword.

475
00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:40,531
Pop?

476
00:31:40,533 --> 00:31:43,301
Has anyone
ever failed the Mazurka?

477
00:31:43,303 --> 00:31:45,235
Once.
Your third cousin, Xander.

478
00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:46,436
Never heard of him.

479
00:31:46,438 --> 00:31:47,871
Exactly.

480
00:31:47,873 --> 00:31:48,939
Music!

481
00:31:50,376 --> 00:31:51,841
There's someone at the door.

482
00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:55,446
Hi, guys. I'm going up
to this creepy mansion.

483
00:31:55,448 --> 00:31:58,418
If you don't hear from me
in 30 minutes, send backup.

484
00:32:04,823 --> 00:32:09,062
You rang?

485
00:32:14,065 --> 00:32:15,299
Yeah, no.

486
00:32:15,301 --> 00:32:17,201
Life's too short. See ya!

487
00:32:23,743 --> 00:32:25,074
Oh!

488
00:32:25,076 --> 00:32:27,578
Good morning, Kitty.

489
00:32:27,580 --> 00:32:29,249
Greetings, Ms. Needler.

490
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:34,217
Wow.

491
00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:37,620
Good morning!
I hope this isn't a bad time.

492
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:39,622
The worst. Do come in.

493
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:40,724
Glenn?

494
00:32:44,263 --> 00:32:46,129
Welcome to the neighborhood.

495
00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:47,499
Thank you.

496
00:32:49,368 --> 00:32:51,502
Oh, my! Hmm.

497
00:32:51,504 --> 00:32:53,670
Are you ready
for your Margaux makeover?

498
00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:54,804
Quite.

499
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:58,274
Pugsley's been climbing
the walls in anticipation.

500
00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:04,017
Well, well, well!

501
00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:06,817
Let's take a look around,
shall we?

502
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:09,122
And before you say anything,
you're welcome.

503
00:33:10,156 --> 00:33:14,091
Now, if we're trying for
a more contemporary look,

504
00:33:14,093 --> 00:33:16,694
well, these sconces
have to go.

505
00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:21,764
The sconces were a gift
from dead relatives.

506
00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:22,966
If we get rid of them,

507
00:33:22,968 --> 00:33:25,938
they'll be terribly hurt
the next time they visit.

508
00:33:27,805 --> 00:33:30,340
And this is our whine cellar.

509
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:33,343
We have a lovely
collection of whines.

510
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:34,878
- <i>Are we there yet?</i>
- <i>I want ice cream!</i>

511
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,680
<i>What do you mean
you're out of avocado toast?</i>

512
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:39,215
<i>This barrel
makes me look fat.</i>

513
00:33:39,217 --> 00:33:41,217
And here's our bottomless pit.

514
00:33:42,955 --> 00:33:45,188
Uh...
How do we get across?

515
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,358
One moment.

516
00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:02,141
We call this surfing the web.

517
00:34:05,977 --> 00:34:07,580
Well!

518
00:34:08,247 --> 00:34:09,378
I'm scared.

519
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:10,880
I'm so scared.

520
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:13,818
Oh, my gosh.

521
00:34:13,820 --> 00:34:15,218
I'm scared
to close my eyes.

522
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:16,320
I'm scared to open them.

523
00:34:36,842 --> 00:34:40,544
How do all those people fit
in that little contraption?

524
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,782
My vanity mirror only
imprisons 14 souls at a time.

525
00:34:46,119 --> 00:34:47,454
Uh, you don't
have a cell phone?

526
00:34:48,188 --> 00:34:49,686
That's weird.

527
00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:52,122
I may not have a cell phone...

528
00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:54,124
Well, you don't
have a crossbow,

529
00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:55,928
and I thought
everybody had one of those.

530
00:34:58,131 --> 00:34:59,199
Mmm.

531
00:34:59,898 --> 00:35:01,231
My name is Wednesday.

532
00:35:01,233 --> 00:35:02,332
Okay.

533
00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:06,236
Uh, I'm Parker.
How long have you lived here?

534
00:35:06,238 --> 00:35:10,774
My whole life.
Which seems endless.

535
00:35:10,776 --> 00:35:12,608
I've never
seen you at school.

536
00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:13,945
I'm cage-schooled.

537
00:35:13,947 --> 00:35:15,945
- Excuse me?
- It's terribly dull,

538
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,382
but my mother insists.

539
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,754
I'm actually
cutting cage right now.

540
00:35:26,657 --> 00:35:27,925
Uh, okay.

541
00:35:27,927 --> 00:35:29,926
So, what happens
at your school?

542
00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:33,296
Uh, not much, just friends
turning on each other.

543
00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,999
Girls making other girls
feel bad about themselves.

544
00:35:36,001 --> 00:35:37,300
Typical junior high stuff.

545
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:38,303
Intriguing.

546
00:35:41,673 --> 00:35:44,274
Can anyone go to your school?

547
00:35:44,276 --> 00:35:46,776
I guess so. But who'd want to?

548
00:35:46,778 --> 00:35:47,780
Wednesday!

549
00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:49,983
Great shot!

550
00:36:06,865 --> 00:36:10,466
Mr. and Mrs. Addams,
there's really not much to do

551
00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:12,269
to make this place perfect.

552
00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:15,604
All we have to do
is pull down the side walls,

553
00:36:15,606 --> 00:36:18,508
and then also break down
the other two walls.

554
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:23,847
Open up the ceiling
by breaking it irreversibly.

555
00:36:23,849 --> 00:36:26,649
Just get this nasty little
floor out of the way,

556
00:36:26,651 --> 00:36:30,519
and there you go. With just
those little touches...

557
00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:32,789
Stop! Right there!

558
00:36:32,791 --> 00:36:34,658
Don't touch another thing!

559
00:36:34,660 --> 00:36:38,762
It's perfect.
Ms. Needler, you have a gift.

560
00:36:38,764 --> 00:36:41,631
The good news is I can have
a makeover crew up here

561
00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:43,800
and swinging hammers
first thing in the morning.

562
00:36:43,802 --> 00:36:44,803
What do you say?

563
00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:47,336
We thought you were finished.

564
00:36:47,338 --> 00:36:49,372
Our whole family
is coming in two weeks.

565
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:50,740
Our finale!

566
00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:53,176
Our finale is in two weeks.

567
00:36:53,178 --> 00:36:54,745
Thank you, Glenn.

568
00:36:54,747 --> 00:36:56,680
It's a gracious offer,
Ms. Needler,

569
00:36:56,682 --> 00:36:58,082
but you really
have done enough.

570
00:36:58,084 --> 00:37:01,187
It's our son's Mazurka.
You understand.

571
00:37:01,553 --> 00:37:02,722
Thank you.

572
00:37:07,526 --> 00:37:08,992
Uh, we're missing Mitch.

573
00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:09,996
Where's Mitch?

574
00:37:10,762 --> 00:37:14,700
<i>Get out!</i>

575
00:37:15,767 --> 00:37:17,734
Mitch who?

576
00:37:20,039 --> 00:37:22,071
Gomez, I'll be blunt.

577
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,242
I have 50 houses
to sell down there,

578
00:37:25,244 --> 00:37:30,713
and their view of your
property is, well, off-brand.

579
00:37:30,715 --> 00:37:33,917
- Fifty houses?
- Yes.

580
00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:35,619
You know,
ever since my family

581
00:37:35,621 --> 00:37:37,653
was chased out
from the old country,

582
00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:41,024
my one dream has been

583
00:37:40,059 --> 00:37:42,725
to find a place
we could call home.

584
00:37:42,727 --> 00:37:45,595
Once they see Assimilation,

585
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:48,231
I think they'll
want to stay for good.

586
00:37:49,535 --> 00:37:53,403
Thank you so much
for coming by, Membrane.

587
00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:54,738
It's Margaux!

588
00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:57,106
Well then, run, Margaux!

589
00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,778
Run, run, run!

590
00:38:05,985 --> 00:38:08,718
That Wednesday girl
is a freak.

591
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,088
We're about to be invaded
by a whole army of freaks.

592
00:38:12,090 --> 00:38:13,990
It's tragic when people
can't accept

593
00:38:13,992 --> 00:38:16,359
the help they so badly need.

594
00:38:16,361 --> 00:38:17,861
And when that happens,

595
00:38:17,863 --> 00:38:21,234
well, another kind of
intervention is called for.

596
00:38:22,934 --> 00:38:24,667
I agree, Gomez.

597
00:38:24,669 --> 00:38:27,504
The whole family moving here
would be a dream come true.

598
00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:29,740
But I don't trust
that Margaux woman.

599
00:38:29,742 --> 00:38:32,778
She's an eccentric, darling,
give her a chance.

600
00:38:33,579 --> 00:38:36,613
"Rasp-berry preserves."

601
00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:37,814
Mmm.

602
00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:40,816
Must be some kind
of scented embalming fluid.

603
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:45,256
Wednesday,
practice your lurking

604
00:38:45,258 --> 00:38:47,258
on someone
other than your father.

605
00:38:47,260 --> 00:38:48,461
He's too easy.

606
00:38:50,595 --> 00:38:51,829
Much better.

607
00:38:51,831 --> 00:38:54,597
Mother, Father,
I'd like to speak with you.

608
00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:57,200
What's on your mind,
my little nightcrawler?

609
00:38:57,202 --> 00:38:58,936
I spoke with Parker
this afternoon.

610
00:38:58,938 --> 00:39:01,537
She's the daughter
of that talking mannequin

611
00:39:01,539 --> 00:39:02,872
who came by.

612
00:39:02,874 --> 00:39:04,707
She told me about
a communal school

613
00:39:04,709 --> 00:39:06,376
all the neighborhood children
attend.

614
00:39:06,378 --> 00:39:08,979
It's called "junior high."

615
00:39:08,981 --> 00:39:11,682
"Junior high"...

616
00:39:11,684 --> 00:39:14,184
Yes, yes,
I have read about those

617
00:39:14,186 --> 00:39:16,620
in my abnormal
psychology journals.

618
00:39:16,622 --> 00:39:18,521
Anyone of age can enroll.

619
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:22,626
I think it would be
good for me.

620
00:39:22,628 --> 00:39:24,995
Well, I think
it's a capital idea.

621
00:39:24,997 --> 00:39:26,296
What of your studies here?

622
00:39:26,298 --> 00:39:29,131
Your taxidermy
is coming along so well.

623
00:39:29,133 --> 00:39:31,535
Mother,
would you really deprive me

624
00:39:31,537 --> 00:39:34,838
of the opportunity to torment
children my own age?

625
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,307
Ah, she makes a point.

626
00:39:37,309 --> 00:39:39,341
What's more,
with Wednesday in school,

627
00:39:39,343 --> 00:39:42,014
we'd get to know
the people here even better.

628
00:39:42,414 --> 00:39:44,082
Well, Mother?

629
00:39:58,097 --> 00:40:00,332
Have a good day
at school, dear.

630
00:40:02,101 --> 00:40:03,403
Do your worst!

631
00:40:09,207 --> 00:40:13,412
Ah. Now I understand.
This is a children's prison.

632
00:40:16,215 --> 00:40:17,883
Who's that?

633
00:40:18,517 --> 00:40:20,052
Great.

634
00:40:21,352 --> 00:40:22,454
This is Wednesday.

635
00:40:22,787 --> 00:40:24,921
Hello.

636
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,624
Hey, Parker.

637
00:40:28,026 --> 00:40:30,129
I got something for ya.

638
00:40:32,064 --> 00:40:33,896
A moldy sandwich?

639
00:40:33,898 --> 00:40:35,731
You're slipping, Bethany.

640
00:40:35,733 --> 00:40:37,566
You know what?
You're right.

641
00:40:37,568 --> 00:40:40,305
Let's kick it up a notch.

642
00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:50,381
You have no sense of humor!

643
00:40:51,584 --> 00:40:53,649
- Did you see her face?
- I know.

644
00:40:53,651 --> 00:40:54,653
Bethany, is it?

645
00:40:55,921 --> 00:41:00,256
Don't cut your eyes on my crew
unless you're ready to dance.

646
00:41:00,258 --> 00:41:04,162
What did you say,
little ghoul?

647
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:07,396
I don't think you understand.

648
00:41:07,398 --> 00:41:10,600
I'm not locked up in here
with you, Bethany.

649
00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:14,803
You're locked up in here
with me.

650
00:41:18,642 --> 00:41:19,811
Whatever.

651
00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:23,613
What did you do?

652
00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:24,981
You shouldn't have said that.

653
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:28,318
There's nothing you can do.
Bethany's way too popular.

654
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,086
Popularity is fleeting.

655
00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:31,821
I prefer to set my sights

656
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:34,291
on something
a little more challenging.

657
00:41:34,293 --> 00:41:35,959
Like what?

658
00:41:35,961 --> 00:41:38,264
The establishment.

659
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:58,615
Let's see.
Who shall I be today?

660
00:41:58,617 --> 00:41:59,849
How about...

661
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:02,486
Ah, Shelly Longbottom,
on Sugar Ridge Lane.

662
00:42:02,488 --> 00:42:05,457
From Shelly Longbottom
to everyone,

663
00:42:06,124 --> 00:42:08,291
"Did you hear

664
00:42:08,293 --> 00:42:11,695
"about those Addams people?"
Question mark.

665
00:42:11,697 --> 00:42:15,401
"Someone told me
they're wanted in 30 states."

666
00:42:18,537 --> 00:42:21,338
You know they're raising
a garden of man-eating plants?

667
00:42:21,340 --> 00:42:22,838
And feeding them our pets!

668
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,874
Has anyone seen
my Shih Tzu Fee-fee?

669
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:27,042
They're gonna turn us
all into zombies.

670
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:28,678
Where are they from anyways?

671
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:29,812
It doesn't matter!

672
00:42:29,814 --> 00:42:31,481
It's obvious
they don't belong here.

673
00:42:31,483 --> 00:42:34,517
Honey! Oh, those awful people
up on the hill.

674
00:42:34,519 --> 00:42:36,553
They're not even
on Neighborhood Peeps!

675
00:42:36,555 --> 00:42:38,088
Well, that's suspicious.

676
00:42:38,090 --> 00:42:39,988
<i>If other people
are scared, then I'm scared.</i>

677
00:42:39,990 --> 00:42:41,323
<i>I believe
everything I read.</i>

678
00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:42,992
<i>If someone posted it,</i>

679
00:42:42,994 --> 00:42:44,361
<i>it must be true.</i>

680
00:42:44,363 --> 00:42:45,595
<i>You invite
one family in,</i>

681
00:42:45,597 --> 00:42:46,696
<i>then all the families come in.</i>

682
00:42:46,698 --> 00:42:47,865
<i>Do you think
we should investigate?</i>

683
00:42:47,867 --> 00:42:48,932
<i>I'm turning grey.</i>

684
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:50,566
<i>I'm worried
for the children!</i>

685
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,237
<i>We need
to talk to Margaux!</i>

686
00:42:55,372 --> 00:42:57,407
Open your books. Page 43.

687
00:42:57,409 --> 00:42:59,274
Follow the instructions.

688
00:42:59,276 --> 00:43:01,410
- Yuck.
- Oh.

689
00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:03,546
I've done this
thousands of times.

690
00:43:07,887 --> 00:43:08,888
Huh?

691
00:43:19,432 --> 00:43:20,967
Flip the switch!

692
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:43,288
Give my creature life!

693
00:43:49,628 --> 00:43:53,064
Live!
Live, I tell you, live!

694
00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:14,352
It's alive! It's alive!

695
00:44:32,436 --> 00:44:34,970
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Get them off me!

696
00:44:43,481 --> 00:44:45,682
Zombie frogs!

697
00:44:45,684 --> 00:44:47,620
Bethany's changed her look.

698
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:49,184
It suits her.

699
00:44:49,186 --> 00:44:51,720
Awesome. Totally awesome.

700
00:44:51,722 --> 00:44:53,122
It is an honor...

701
00:44:53,124 --> 00:44:54,291
...and a privilege...

702
00:44:54,293 --> 00:44:55,459
...to watch you work.

703
00:44:55,461 --> 00:44:58,062
Hey. Do you wanna
go to the mall?

704
00:44:58,064 --> 00:45:01,898
Why not? I haven't seen
a good mauling in ages.

705
00:45:23,153 --> 00:45:25,921
It's late. I'm worried.

706
00:45:25,923 --> 00:45:28,224
Darling,
Wednesday will be fine.

707
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:29,725
She can take care of herself.

708
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,028
It's not Wednesday
I'm worried about.

709
00:45:32,030 --> 00:45:35,231
It's the rest of them. We may
need to provide an alibi.

710
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:37,700
My love, it's game night.

711
00:45:37,702 --> 00:45:38,901
Wednesday will be home soon,

712
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:41,039
so why don't you
come and join us?

713
00:45:41,773 --> 00:45:44,874
Oh, very well. F-6.

714
00:45:44,876 --> 00:45:47,242
Pugsley,
you heard your mother.

715
00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:49,247
Blow F-6!

716
00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:52,515
Fire in the hole!

717
00:45:52,517 --> 00:45:54,517
I'm king of the world!

718
00:45:54,519 --> 00:45:57,720
<i>Near, far, wherever...</i>

719
00:46:05,229 --> 00:46:06,729
Yes!

720
00:46:06,731 --> 00:46:08,432
You sunk my battleship.

721
00:46:08,434 --> 00:46:10,736
Ha-ha! Well done, Pugsley!

722
00:46:19,644 --> 00:46:21,477
Hello, my uglies!

723
00:46:21,479 --> 00:46:25,148
Mother! I thought
I felt my skin crawling!

724
00:46:26,918 --> 00:46:28,885
Grandma, what a surprise.

725
00:46:28,887 --> 00:46:30,486
I thought you were in Prague.

726
00:46:30,488 --> 00:46:31,921
I was!

727
00:46:31,923 --> 00:46:34,423
They caught me smuggling
crocodiles out of the zoo.

728
00:46:34,425 --> 00:46:36,093
But I escaped
and talked my way

729
00:46:36,095 --> 00:46:37,894
onto a Somali pirate ship.

730
00:46:37,896 --> 00:46:39,495
We got into
a heated poker game

731
00:46:39,497 --> 00:46:41,832
and I cleaned them out.

732
00:46:41,834 --> 00:46:43,666
- Cheating or robbery?
- Both!

733
00:46:43,668 --> 00:46:45,468
Always remember, Pugsley,

734
00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:48,504
it ain't cheating
if no one catches you.

735
00:46:48,506 --> 00:46:50,941
I haven't bathed
in two weeks. Ugh.

736
00:46:50,943 --> 00:46:52,309
Or is it months?

737
00:46:52,311 --> 00:46:54,343
Ha! That reminds me.

738
00:46:54,345 --> 00:46:56,280
Guess what I've got, Pugsley?

739
00:46:56,282 --> 00:46:58,682
- Candy!
- Oh, yes!

740
00:46:58,684 --> 00:47:00,751
But the Mazurka
isn't for a week.

741
00:47:00,753 --> 00:47:02,417
Why are you here so early?

742
00:47:02,419 --> 00:47:05,122
Gomez said you needed
a little help with the party.

743
00:47:05,124 --> 00:47:08,191
And I said, I got my son ready
for his Mazurka,

744
00:47:08,193 --> 00:47:11,794
so of course, I'm going to do
the same for my grandson.

745
00:47:11,796 --> 00:47:13,129
I love him!

746
00:47:13,131 --> 00:47:15,131
It's true! I sent for her!

747
00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:16,899
I can't believe you bothered

748
00:47:16,901 --> 00:47:18,503
your mother with that,
darling.

749
00:47:19,003 --> 00:47:20,169
Neither can I?

750
00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:21,870
He said you were
in over your head.

751
00:47:21,872 --> 00:47:23,039
Thank you, Mother!

752
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,374
Said you were more tense
than he's ever seen you.

753
00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,776
- I didn't say that exactly.
- Yes, you did.

754
00:47:27,778 --> 00:47:29,546
You said that exactly.

755
00:47:29,548 --> 00:47:30,680
Said he was worried

756
00:47:30,682 --> 00:47:33,149
you'd have a massive facial
expression and...

757
00:47:33,151 --> 00:47:35,050
You know, I'm starving!
Let's eat!

758
00:47:35,052 --> 00:47:37,854
Not until Wednesday gets home.

759
00:47:37,856 --> 00:47:40,356
Where is that
granddaughter of mine?

760
00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:42,160
I got something for her!

761
00:47:43,996 --> 00:47:46,562
Ah, there's my
little storm cloud!

762
00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:49,064
Wednesday,
where have you been?

763
00:47:49,066 --> 00:47:50,367
Elsewhere.

764
00:48:00,512 --> 00:48:02,211
What are you wearing?

765
00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:04,747
Parker calls it
a pop of color.

766
00:48:04,749 --> 00:48:06,349
While I certainly
appreciate a horse

767
00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:07,517
with a spear
through its head,

768
00:48:07,519 --> 00:48:08,584
the color is...

769
00:48:08,586 --> 00:48:10,586
She claims
it brings out my smile.

770
00:48:10,588 --> 00:48:12,988
Wednesday,
you don't have a smile.

771
00:48:12,990 --> 00:48:14,524
Turns out
I have a lot of things

772
00:48:14,526 --> 00:48:15,828
you don't know about.

773
00:48:19,865 --> 00:48:21,898
I see I got here just in time.

774
00:48:21,900 --> 00:48:23,633
You were right to call, Gomez.

775
00:48:23,635 --> 00:48:25,869
I'll talk to her.
Hand me that bear trap.

776
00:48:25,871 --> 00:48:29,275
Thank you, Grandma.
But I will handle this.

777
00:48:29,874 --> 00:48:31,276
Ah, suit yourself.

778
00:48:34,378 --> 00:48:37,814
When you're done with Fabio,
send him up to my room.

779
00:48:37,816 --> 00:48:40,052
- Ooh-hoo-hoo.
- Oh, boy!

780
00:48:42,688 --> 00:48:44,419
Wednesday.

781
00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:46,756
How would you like
to join me tomorrow

782
00:48:46,758 --> 00:48:51,294
after the school for tea
and séance in the cemetery?

783
00:48:51,296 --> 00:48:53,028
Is attendance mandatory?

784
00:48:53,030 --> 00:48:54,731
Come now, my little raven.

785
00:48:54,733 --> 00:48:57,200
You did so love it
when you were younger.

786
00:48:57,202 --> 00:48:58,570
If you like, Mother.

787
00:49:00,738 --> 00:49:02,439
Sleep well, dear.

788
00:49:02,441 --> 00:49:04,977
Don't forget to kick
your father good night.

789
00:49:10,314 --> 00:49:11,747
What's your
favorite filter?

790
00:49:11,749 --> 00:49:15,051
I don't know. I look black
and white in all of them.

791
00:49:15,053 --> 00:49:16,385
You know,
when I met you,

792
00:49:16,387 --> 00:49:18,120
I thought you were
super weird.

793
00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:19,921
But now,
I think you're really cool.

794
00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:21,157
I concur.

795
00:49:21,159 --> 00:49:23,325
You're not completely devoid
of merit yourself.

796
00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:25,430
I wanna say "thank you"...

797
00:49:27,898 --> 00:49:28,965
Oh, how'd that barrette

798
00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:30,399
you bought yesterday
go over at home?

799
00:49:30,401 --> 00:49:34,671
Actually, my mother's reaction
was, well, unexpected.

800
00:49:34,673 --> 00:49:38,307
She was accepting.
It depressed me.

801
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:41,611
One never wants to see
one's mother that way.

802
00:49:41,613 --> 00:49:42,812
But I must admit,

803
00:49:42,814 --> 00:49:47,682
walking around in something
so garish, so grotesque...

804
00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:49,785
I was shocked
how thrilling it felt.

805
00:49:49,787 --> 00:49:52,354
I wish
I could do that.

806
00:49:52,356 --> 00:49:54,090
But my mom makes me
wear this stuff,

807
00:49:54,092 --> 00:49:56,093
and it's just so...

808
00:49:56,095 --> 00:50:00,296
I believe the word you're
looking for is "unfortunate."

809
00:50:00,298 --> 00:50:03,700
Ugh. I'd love to
just go crazy

810
00:50:03,702 --> 00:50:06,271
and wear something
that would shock her.

811
00:50:07,439 --> 00:50:08,671
Well, Parker,

812
00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:09,838
you're in luck.

813
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:13,211
You happen to be talking
to the queen of shock.

814
00:50:34,298 --> 00:50:35,463
Hello, Mother.

815
00:50:35,465 --> 00:50:37,633
<i>Where's my little wraith?</i>

816
00:50:37,635 --> 00:50:39,568
Wednesday
still hasn't arrived.

817
00:50:39,570 --> 00:50:42,204
We agreed to come up here
for tea and séance,

818
00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:44,840
and now it seems
she stood me up.

819
00:50:44,842 --> 00:50:46,575
<i>Morticia!
Can you hear me?</i>

820
00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:47,977
<i>You're not doing it right.</i>

821
00:50:47,979 --> 00:50:49,312
- <i>Press that button there.</i>
- <i>I did! I did!</i>

822
00:50:49,314 --> 00:50:50,379
<i>Did you hear it click?</i>

823
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,479
<i>Morticia!</i>

824
00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:52,615
<i>It's supposed to be on</i>

825
00:50:52,617 --> 00:50:54,017
- <i>when you hear the click.</i>
- <i>Wait, I see something.</i>

826
00:50:54,019 --> 00:50:55,718
- <i>You did it!</i>
- <i>Hello, darling!</i>

827
00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:57,486
<i>Now, where's my granddaughter?</i>

828
00:50:57,488 --> 00:50:58,921
Just what I said.

829
00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:01,057
I think she's distancing
herself from me.

830
00:51:01,059 --> 00:51:02,691
<i>Oh,
she's wrapped in a black hole</i>

831
00:51:02,693 --> 00:51:03,992
<i>of emptiness and longing,</i>

832
00:51:03,994 --> 00:51:05,528
<i>like all of us Frump women.</i>

833
00:51:05,530 --> 00:51:07,963
- <i>Wednesday?
- It's not Wednesday!</i>

834
00:51:07,965 --> 00:51:09,999
- <i>Who's this?</i>
- It's me, Father.

835
00:51:10,001 --> 00:51:11,066
<i>Morticia?</i>

836
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,436
<i>What's wrong with you now?</i>

837
00:51:13,438 --> 00:51:15,537
The world can be so cruel.

838
00:51:15,539 --> 00:51:18,173
And all she wants to do
is run toward it.

839
00:51:18,175 --> 00:51:20,041
<i>She's a lot like you that way.</i>

840
00:51:20,043 --> 00:51:21,510
<i>You wanted to see the world.</i>

841
00:51:21,512 --> 00:51:23,680
<i>Find yourself.
Serve time!</i>

842
00:51:23,682 --> 00:51:26,615
<i>Listen,
Morticia, remember the time</i>

843
00:51:26,617 --> 00:51:29,619
<i>you ran away
and joined the Girl Scouts?</i>

844
00:51:29,621 --> 00:51:33,189
<i>We were so worried
you were on a bad path.</i>

845
00:51:33,191 --> 00:51:35,624
<i>But when you found out
that campfires</i>

846
00:51:35,626 --> 00:51:38,928
<i>were for roasting marshmallows
and not other Girl Scouts,</i>

847
00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:40,930
<i>well, you got bored
and you came home.</i>

848
00:51:40,932 --> 00:51:43,233
<i>We were so relieved.</i>

849
00:51:43,235 --> 00:51:44,700
<i>Trust Wednesday.</i>

850
00:51:44,702 --> 00:51:47,803
<i>Like you,
she'll do the right thing.</i>

851
00:51:47,805 --> 00:51:51,374
Thank you, Father.
That's most comforting.

852
00:51:51,376 --> 00:51:53,408
<i>Good.
Wait a second.</i>

853
00:51:53,410 --> 00:51:54,642
<i>When did I die?</i>

854
00:51:54,644 --> 00:51:56,146
<i>20 years ago.</i>

855
00:51:56,148 --> 00:51:58,914
<i>Oh, right.
Happy anniversary, darling.</i>

856
00:51:58,916 --> 00:52:02,551
All right, Pugsley, let's,
uh, go through it again.

857
00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:05,655
You got this, Pugsley.
This Mazurka's nothing.

858
00:52:07,492 --> 00:52:10,425
You eat swords for breakfast.

859
00:52:10,427 --> 00:52:13,095
You just got a case
of pre-ball jitters.

860
00:52:13,097 --> 00:52:15,263
It's way more common
than you think.

861
00:52:15,265 --> 00:52:17,834
If a Mazurka lasts
for more than four hours,

862
00:52:17,836 --> 00:52:19,438
contact your doctor.

863
00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:22,841
From the top.
Music!

864
00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:38,820
Pugsley,

865
00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:40,455
I can honestly say

866
00:52:40,457 --> 00:52:44,593
that was most definitely
a thing you did.

867
00:52:44,595 --> 00:52:47,863
A question,
what in heaven's name was it?

868
00:52:47,865 --> 00:52:49,265
The Sabre Mazurka.

869
00:52:51,702 --> 00:52:54,104
You know what?
You've been practicing hard.

870
00:52:54,106 --> 00:52:56,205
Why don't we
call it a day? Hmm?

871
00:52:56,207 --> 00:52:58,207
Hit the showers, kid.

872
00:52:58,209 --> 00:52:59,575
So, we're finished?

873
00:52:59,577 --> 00:53:00,843
Ah, yes.

874
00:53:00,845 --> 00:53:04,613
Yes, son. We are
most certainly finished.

875
00:53:04,615 --> 00:53:06,582
Mmm. Okay. Thanks, Pop.

876
00:53:06,584 --> 00:53:08,020
Thanks, Uncle Fester.

877
00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:16,693
This is a complete disaster!
How did this happen?

878
00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:18,193
And he's going
to make a fool of himself

879
00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:19,495
in front of everyone!

880
00:53:19,497 --> 00:53:21,530
Gomez, you gotta calm down!

881
00:53:21,532 --> 00:53:23,800
There's still a day
to get him ready!

882
00:53:23,802 --> 00:53:27,437
Fester, a year wouldn't be
enough to get him ready.

883
00:53:27,439 --> 00:53:29,506
I've failed him, Fester.

884
00:53:29,508 --> 00:53:34,142
I tried to raise him to be
an Addams, but I failed.

885
00:53:34,144 --> 00:53:36,914
They're going
to eat him alive.

886
00:53:38,916 --> 00:53:41,983
<i>I like it like that
Ooh, baby</i>

887
00:53:41,985 --> 00:53:44,019
<i>I said I like it like that</i>

888
00:53:44,021 --> 00:53:48,124
<i>Ooh, baby,
I like it like that</i>

889
00:53:48,126 --> 00:53:50,359
All right. Thank you.

890
00:53:50,361 --> 00:53:52,762
Grandma,
we already have a band.

891
00:53:52,764 --> 00:53:55,164
They came highly recommended
from the mortuary.

892
00:53:55,166 --> 00:53:56,465
Oh.

893
00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:58,501
I'm sure
they're good.

894
00:53:58,503 --> 00:54:01,370
My sister Sloom is
going to be judging Pugsley.

895
00:54:01,372 --> 00:54:03,273
And if things aren't done
the traditional way,

896
00:54:03,275 --> 00:54:04,840
she won't be happy,

897
00:54:04,842 --> 00:54:07,109
and the Mazurka
could be a disaster!

898
00:54:07,111 --> 00:54:09,113
But what do I know?

899
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:10,546
Fine.

900
00:54:10,548 --> 00:54:11,948
Yay, we got the gig!

901
00:54:11,950 --> 00:54:13,048
We got it!

902
00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:14,550
Ah, one more thing...

903
00:54:14,552 --> 00:54:17,919
Oh, someone's at the door.
I'd better go see who it is.

904
00:54:24,896 --> 00:54:28,597
<i>What's so great
about being yourself</i>

905
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:32,734
<i>When you can be like
everyone else?</i>

906
00:54:32,736 --> 00:54:35,271
Do not speak
to your mother that way.

907
00:54:35,273 --> 00:54:37,805
How dare you
enter this house like that.

908
00:54:37,807 --> 00:54:39,945
Wait, where are your tattoos?

909
00:54:42,380 --> 00:54:43,812
Oh, thank the stars!

910
00:54:43,814 --> 00:54:46,381
- Where were you?
- Hanging out with Parker.

911
00:54:46,383 --> 00:54:49,151
Is this why you skipped
tea and séance?

912
00:54:49,153 --> 00:54:51,153
Your grandparents
were trying to contact you.

913
00:54:51,155 --> 00:54:52,454
Holy Hades!

914
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:54,057
Whoever did that to you,
Wednesday,

915
00:54:54,059 --> 00:54:56,425
I hope the other guy
looks worse.

916
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:59,361
Nobody did this to me.
This is my new look.

917
00:54:59,363 --> 00:55:00,629
Do you like it?

918
00:55:00,631 --> 00:55:01,731
I do not like it.

919
00:55:01,733 --> 00:55:03,932
Everyone knows pink
is a gateway color.

920
00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:06,769
I warned you about sending her
to public school.

921
00:55:06,771 --> 00:55:07,836
Don't worry.

922
00:55:07,838 --> 00:55:09,570
Wednesday is never
going to that school again.

923
00:55:09,572 --> 00:55:10,905
- What?
- In fact,

924
00:55:10,907 --> 00:55:13,311
she's never leaving
this house again.

925
00:55:16,447 --> 00:55:19,515
Wow, that's some evil eye
she's got there.

926
00:55:19,517 --> 00:55:22,651
No, that dead-eye stare
is new.

927
00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:24,854
And I think I know
where she got it.

928
00:55:24,856 --> 00:55:27,590
Hey, guys, this is me now.

929
00:55:27,592 --> 00:55:30,593
If you like it, hit "like,"
but who cares if you like it.

930
00:55:30,595 --> 00:55:32,028
I'm living my truth.

931
00:55:32,030 --> 00:55:33,798
Parker?

932
00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:37,369
- Who did this to you?
- I did.

933
00:55:38,102 --> 00:55:40,102
This is my new look, Mother.

934
00:55:40,104 --> 00:55:44,673
I decided that from now on,
I choose my clothes, not you.

935
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:48,077
Argh! This is that little
creep Wednesday Addams' work!

936
00:55:48,079 --> 00:55:51,347
She's not a creep.
She's just not like you.

937
00:55:51,349 --> 00:55:53,216
Why can't you ever let
people be different?

938
00:55:53,218 --> 00:55:57,486
Because it's my calling
to make everyone the same.

939
00:55:57,488 --> 00:56:01,390
Too bright!
It burns!

940
00:56:01,392 --> 00:56:04,292
Good! Maybe it'll burn away
the weird!

941
00:56:04,294 --> 00:56:05,494
I hate it here!

942
00:56:05,496 --> 00:56:07,495
Everything's boring
and fake and bright,

943
00:56:07,497 --> 00:56:09,231
like plastic flowers!

944
00:56:09,233 --> 00:56:10,466
Like you!

945
00:56:10,468 --> 00:56:14,504
Parker!
Plastic flowers live forever.

946
00:56:14,506 --> 00:56:16,808
Now, you go think
about that in your room.

947
00:56:17,407 --> 00:56:19,508
With no social media.

948
00:56:19,510 --> 00:56:21,977
No! Please, no.
Anything but that!

949
00:56:21,979 --> 00:56:24,646
Now go wipe that depressing
goop off your face.

950
00:56:24,648 --> 00:56:26,414
You first!

951
00:56:26,416 --> 00:56:30,553
Oh! Those Addamses
have gone too far this time.

952
00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:33,592
I think they're going to need
a little more help.

953
00:56:49,374 --> 00:56:50,542
Hey!

954
00:56:52,510 --> 00:56:54,376
Where are you going?

955
00:56:54,378 --> 00:56:55,945
A friend's.

956
00:56:55,947 --> 00:57:00,249
I hold people prisoner,
not the other way around.

957
00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:02,350
Good luck with your Mazurka.

958
00:57:02,352 --> 00:57:04,754
Wait, you're leaving?

959
00:57:04,756 --> 00:57:06,555
Who's gonna torment me
every day?

960
00:57:06,557 --> 00:57:09,758
Living under this roof is
all the torment you'll need.

961
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:12,026
Besides, our parents
have made it clear

962
00:57:12,028 --> 00:57:14,796
that the only way
to be accepted in this family

963
00:57:14,798 --> 00:57:17,733
is to be exactly like them.

964
00:57:17,735 --> 00:57:20,102
I can't play
by those rules anymore.

965
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:22,637
Farewell, brother Pugsley.

966
00:57:22,639 --> 00:57:24,542
Tomorrow, you become a man.

967
00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:27,311
And I become a fugitive.

968
00:57:28,979 --> 00:57:31,713
Always kinda knew
it'd end up like this.

969
00:57:31,715 --> 00:57:34,249
Just didn't think
it'd be so soon.

970
00:57:34,251 --> 00:57:36,718
I'll never
forget you, Pugsley!

971
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,553
But I'll try.

972
00:57:38,555 --> 00:57:41,657
Pugsley, have you seen
your sister?

973
00:57:41,659 --> 00:57:43,258
She's not in her room.

974
00:57:43,260 --> 00:57:44,827
Mmm...

975
00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:47,164
Pugsley. Where's Wednesday?

976
00:57:47,731 --> 00:57:49,099
Um... Tsk.

977
00:57:50,834 --> 00:57:55,236
Tick, tock,
tick, tock, Mother.

978
00:57:55,238 --> 00:57:58,006
You're getting very sleepy.

979
00:57:58,008 --> 00:57:59,240
Pugsley...

980
00:57:59,242 --> 00:58:02,979
She did not go
to her friend's house.

981
00:58:02,981 --> 00:58:04,814
She went to
her friend's house?

982
00:58:04,816 --> 00:58:08,684
I repeat, she did not
go to her friend's...

983
00:58:35,046 --> 00:58:38,617
<i>When the day is long</i>

984
00:58:40,285 --> 00:58:42,220
<i>And the night</i>

985
00:58:42,887 --> 00:58:45,323
<i>The night is yours alone</i>

986
00:58:50,561 --> 00:58:51,959
<i>When you're sure</i>

987
00:58:51,961 --> 00:58:54,532
<i>You've had enough</i>

988
00:58:56,066 --> 00:58:58,235
<i>Of this life</i>

989
00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:02,140
<i>Hang on</i>

990
00:59:05,809 --> 00:59:09,514
<i>Don't let yourself go</i>

991
00:59:13,418 --> 00:59:17,088
<i>'Cause everybody cries</i>

992
00:59:21,191 --> 00:59:26,160
<i>And everybody hurts</i>

993
00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:29,532
<i>Sometimes</i>

994
00:59:29,534 --> 00:59:32,202
I shall be staying with you
for a while.

995
00:59:33,104 --> 00:59:36,942
<i>Everybody hurts</i>

996
00:59:41,111 --> 00:59:42,343
<i>If this doesn't work,</i>

997
00:59:42,345 --> 00:59:44,379
<i>the next house we flip
is gonna land on you.</i>

998
00:59:44,381 --> 00:59:45,580
Marty, listen to me.

999
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:48,184
Tomorrow, our finale
will be the biggest half hour

1000
00:59:48,186 --> 00:59:49,919
your network has ever aired.

1001
00:59:49,921 --> 00:59:52,088
There's just one more thing
to take care of.

1002
00:59:52,090 --> 00:59:53,555
<i>This better be good
or you won't be able</i>

1003
00:59:53,557 --> 00:59:54,791
<i>to get a job as a doormat.</i>

1004
00:59:54,793 --> 00:59:55,925
Yes, yes, yes.

1005
00:59:55,927 --> 00:59:59,396
I intend to bring
the house down.

1006
01:00:13,311 --> 01:00:14,977
<i>When the pimp's in the crib ma</i>

1007
01:00:14,979 --> 01:00:17,546
<i>Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot</i>

1008
01:00:17,548 --> 01:00:18,814
<i>Drop it like it's hot</i>

1009
01:00:18,816 --> 01:00:20,283
<i>When the pigs try
to get at you</i>

1010
01:00:20,285 --> 01:00:22,783
<i>Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot</i>

1011
01:00:22,785 --> 01:00:23,952
<i>Park it like it's hot</i>

1012
01:00:23,954 --> 01:00:25,421
<i>And if a... get a attitude</i>

1013
01:00:25,423 --> 01:00:27,756
<i>Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot</i>

1014
01:00:27,758 --> 01:00:28,890
<i>Pop it like it's hot</i>

1015
01:00:28,892 --> 01:00:31,561
<i>I got the Rolly on my arm
and I'm pouring Chandon</i>

1016
01:00:31,563 --> 01:00:34,633
<i>And I roll the best...
'cause I got it going on</i>

1017
01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:43,738
You rang?

1018
01:00:43,740 --> 01:00:46,207
It. Cousin. You made it!

1019
01:00:47,343 --> 01:00:49,812
Please, come in.
Make yourself at home.

1020
01:00:52,416 --> 01:00:53,950
Where did she hide my phone?

1021
01:00:53,952 --> 01:00:55,450
I haven't been able

1022
01:00:55,452 --> 01:00:57,820
to post a photo of my lunch
in almost three days!

1023
01:00:57,822 --> 01:01:00,321
And what about in there?

1024
01:01:00,323 --> 01:01:02,358
That's my mom's crafting room.

1025
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,660
No one is allowed in there.

1026
01:01:04,662 --> 01:01:06,031
Then that's where it is.

1027
01:01:13,671 --> 01:01:15,040
Weird.

1028
01:01:28,052 --> 01:01:29,218
Whoa.

1029
01:01:29,220 --> 01:01:30,885
Hidden depths.

1030
01:01:30,887 --> 01:01:32,821
What is this?

1031
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:35,791
There's Mr. Haney
making a sandwich.

1032
01:01:35,793 --> 01:01:38,526
And that guy trying to put
a tiny tuxedo on his cat.

1033
01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:39,794
- <i>Sit still!</i>
- That's Mr. Flynn.

1034
01:01:39,796 --> 01:01:40,863
<i>Why are you
being so difficult?</i>

1035
01:01:40,865 --> 01:01:41,930
<i>Trying to make you</i>

1036
01:01:41,932 --> 01:01:43,532
- <i>look handsome.</i>
- My money's on the cat.

1037
01:01:43,534 --> 01:01:46,234
And there's our science
teacher, Ms. Gravely,

1038
01:01:46,236 --> 01:01:49,238
putting her underwear
in the freezer?

1039
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:52,573
My mom must have built
hidden cameras

1040
01:01:52,575 --> 01:01:54,475
into all of the houses.

1041
01:01:54,477 --> 01:01:55,878
She really is psycho.

1042
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,015
- Parker!
- Whoa!

1043
01:01:58,381 --> 01:02:00,247
Hey, Mom.

1044
01:02:00,249 --> 01:02:02,651
We were just looking for you.

1045
01:02:02,653 --> 01:02:06,724
What have I told you
about Mommy's crafting room?

1046
01:02:08,425 --> 01:02:11,526
Sorry to do this,
but standards must be upheld.

1047
01:02:11,528 --> 01:02:14,032
Parker, someday you'll
understand, and, Wednesday...

1048
01:02:14,564 --> 01:02:15,833
Well, anyway, Parker.

1049
01:02:19,570 --> 01:02:22,838
My mom
has a lair and a jail?

1050
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,173
I knew I should have picked
to live with my dad.

1051
01:02:25,175 --> 01:02:27,541
We're gonna be on TV!

1052
01:02:27,543 --> 01:02:28,711
Are we gonna be famous?

1053
01:02:28,713 --> 01:02:30,079
Glenn, what do you
want in the frame?

1054
01:02:30,081 --> 01:02:32,280
Okay, everyone, listen up.

1055
01:02:32,282 --> 01:02:34,216
It's the last run-through
before the finale,

1056
01:02:34,218 --> 01:02:36,419
so let's try this
one last time, okay?

1057
01:02:36,421 --> 01:02:39,155
We're gonna shoot across
the town square to the gazebo

1058
01:02:39,157 --> 01:02:40,888
where Margaux
will make her grand entrance.

1059
01:02:40,890 --> 01:02:43,392
So everyone will be
walking this direction

1060
01:02:43,394 --> 01:02:44,892
across the square.

1061
01:02:44,894 --> 01:02:46,695
Judy, you start here,

1062
01:02:46,697 --> 01:02:48,463
Ken, you're gonna follow Judy.

1063
01:02:48,465 --> 01:02:51,133
You can stand right here
and...

1064
01:02:51,135 --> 01:02:53,537
Uh, is there
a bathroom nearby?

1065
01:02:54,037 --> 01:02:55,572
Uh...

1066
01:02:58,742 --> 01:03:00,642
Margaux, they're here!

1067
01:03:00,644 --> 01:03:02,245
<i>What are you talking about?</i>

1068
01:03:02,247 --> 01:03:03,711
They're here!

1069
01:03:03,713 --> 01:03:05,948
The Addams family!

1070
01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,292
Pardon me.

1071
01:03:18,930 --> 01:03:19,998
Excuse me.

1072
01:03:20,664 --> 01:03:21,829
What are we gonna do?

1073
01:03:21,831 --> 01:03:26,936
What we always do, Glenn.
Help people.

1074
01:03:26,938 --> 01:03:30,104
"The Addams monsters
are planning

1075
01:03:30,106 --> 01:03:33,975
"to attack the town tonight!"
Exclamation point.

1076
01:03:35,146 --> 01:03:37,816
<i>"Meet at Margaux's house now."</i>

1077
01:03:38,282 --> 01:03:39,984
Mmm? Oh.

1078
01:03:45,590 --> 01:03:48,291
Salutations, Addams.
We're here!

1079
01:03:48,293 --> 01:03:51,325
Petunia, I love what
you've done with your hair.

1080
01:03:51,327 --> 01:03:54,028
Thanks, I just had it mowed.

1081
01:03:54,030 --> 01:03:56,497
Please, come in.
Make yourself uncomfortable.

1082
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,800
Uncle Onion!

1083
01:03:58,802 --> 01:04:00,202
- It's been so long!
- <i>Voilà!</i>

1084
01:04:00,204 --> 01:04:02,437
Yes, so disappointed
to see you.

1085
01:04:02,439 --> 01:04:05,807
Ah, you always manage
to bring a tear to my eye!

1086
01:04:06,943 --> 01:04:09,678
Greetings, Dr. Flambe!
How you doing?

1087
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:11,814
- I'm on fire!
- Good!

1088
01:04:11,816 --> 01:04:13,582
This party's gonna be lit!

1089
01:04:13,584 --> 01:04:15,520
Ah, Auntie Sloom.

1090
01:04:16,153 --> 01:04:18,452
Auntie Sloom!

1091
01:04:18,454 --> 01:04:23,191
You are as radiant
as a barrel of nuclear waste.

1092
01:04:23,193 --> 01:04:26,163
Where is the boy?

1093
01:04:26,497 --> 01:04:27,562
Pugsley?

1094
01:04:27,564 --> 01:04:29,530
Ah, there you are.

1095
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:30,832
Come down and say hello

1096
01:04:30,834 --> 01:04:32,202
- to your Auntie Sloom.
- Ahh!

1097
01:04:34,805 --> 01:04:39,508
Gomez, this tradition is not
to be taken lightly.

1098
01:04:39,510 --> 01:04:42,676
I trust that the boy
has been properly trained.

1099
01:04:42,678 --> 01:04:44,245
Yes, once you see how we've...

1100
01:04:44,247 --> 01:04:48,883
It's bad enough this Mazurka
is taking place in New Jersey.

1101
01:04:48,885 --> 01:04:52,021
Now, where are the dregs?
I'm thirsty.

1102
01:04:52,023 --> 01:04:54,023
<i>You've seen them!</i>

1103
01:04:54,025 --> 01:04:57,325
<i>You've heard the stories
on Neighborhood Peeps!</i>

1104
01:04:57,327 --> 01:05:01,729
<i>Those Addams aren't people,
they're monsters!</i>

1105
01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:04,901
<i>And now, there's
an infestation of them!</i>

1106
01:05:04,903 --> 01:05:08,236
<i>They're here to destroy
our beautiful community</i>

1107
01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:09,437
<i>and turn it into a place</i>

1108
01:05:09,439 --> 01:05:11,907
<i>that no</i> Design Intervention
<i>can save!</i>

1109
01:05:11,909 --> 01:05:14,410
Addams aren't wanted here!

1110
01:05:14,412 --> 01:05:16,245
They're monsters!
They're all monsters!

1111
01:05:16,247 --> 01:05:19,347
<i>We need to destroy them first!</i>

1112
01:05:19,349 --> 01:05:21,251
<i>Who's with me?</i>

1113
01:05:22,119 --> 01:05:23,584
<i>We'll be revealing
Assimilation</i>

1114
01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:25,787
<i>and all of you to our audience
in just an hour.</i>

1115
01:05:25,789 --> 01:05:29,224
<i>Our last chance to help
these people is now.</i>

1116
01:05:29,226 --> 01:05:32,727
Bill, John, do you still have
that lovely catapult?

1117
01:05:32,729 --> 01:05:34,195
Yes, we do!

1118
01:05:34,197 --> 01:05:36,198
Are you sure about this?

1119
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:38,066
We can't let them ruin
our neighborhood!

1120
01:05:38,068 --> 01:05:39,133
Let's do it!

1121
01:05:39,135 --> 01:05:40,537
I want them out!

1122
01:05:42,305 --> 01:05:45,506
No one torments
my family but me.

1123
01:05:45,508 --> 01:05:46,811
Hair clip, please.

1124
01:05:47,711 --> 01:05:48,947
Okay.

1125
01:05:57,755 --> 01:06:00,590
Cage school 101.

1126
01:06:02,093 --> 01:06:03,158
He'd better be ready

1127
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:04,559
or Auntie Sloom
will have his head!

1128
01:06:04,561 --> 01:06:05,961
He looks very small.

1129
01:06:05,963 --> 01:06:07,662
That kid's
got some big shoes to fill.

1130
01:06:07,664 --> 01:06:09,465
I certainly
hope the boy's ready.

1131
01:06:09,467 --> 01:06:11,999
Well, I'm not going
easy on him.

1132
01:06:22,012 --> 01:06:23,111
Heads up.

1133
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,314
Hey, alto, you're flat.

1134
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:33,488
Sloom.

1135
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:35,925
- Sister.
- Darling, I...

1136
01:06:35,927 --> 01:06:37,693
I know the last time
we saw each other,

1137
01:06:37,695 --> 01:06:39,193
we had that horrible fight.

1138
01:06:39,195 --> 01:06:42,564
And I just wanted to tell you,
from the bottom of my heart,

1139
01:06:42,566 --> 01:06:45,466
I won that fight!
And I was glad I cheated!

1140
01:06:45,468 --> 01:06:49,504
You won?
Still a sore loser, as always!

1141
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:52,274
I want a rematch!
Right here! Right now!

1142
01:06:52,276 --> 01:06:54,809
Auntie Sloom?
Can I get you anything?

1143
01:06:54,811 --> 01:06:56,178
When's the Mazurka?

1144
01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:57,780
Soon, soon.

1145
01:06:57,782 --> 01:06:59,615
Our daughter Wednesday
isn't here yet.

1146
01:06:59,617 --> 01:07:02,383
If your daughter
can't be on time,

1147
01:07:02,385 --> 01:07:04,688
then we will begin
without her!

1148
01:07:05,322 --> 01:07:07,955
Very well, Auntie Sloom.

1149
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:14,798
Attention, please. Attention!

1150
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:20,135
The hour is upon us.

1151
01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:21,238
Places!

1152
01:07:34,985 --> 01:07:40,756
We gather today to witness
my son, Pugsley Addams,

1153
01:07:40,758 --> 01:07:43,561
perform his Sabre Mazurka.

1154
01:08:06,249 --> 01:08:09,852
He will begin with a reading
from the Terror,

1155
01:08:09,854 --> 01:08:13,624
which commemorates
our cries in battle.

1156
01:08:35,579 --> 01:08:39,483
And now,
the transition into manhood.

1157
01:08:57,267 --> 01:09:00,101
<i>And now, the Sabre Mazurka.</i>

1158
01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:09,446
Hold still.

1159
01:09:11,482 --> 01:09:13,849
The Addams mustache.

1160
01:09:13,851 --> 01:09:15,452
Now you're ready.

1161
01:10:25,856 --> 01:10:26,924
Pugsley?

1162
01:10:29,593 --> 01:10:31,193
I give up.

1163
01:10:31,195 --> 01:10:33,030
I can't do it, Pop.

1164
01:10:34,564 --> 01:10:35,765
Oh.

1165
01:10:38,402 --> 01:10:39,570
I'm sorry.

1166
01:10:40,504 --> 01:10:42,537
I let you down.

1167
01:10:42,539 --> 01:10:45,509
You haven't
let me down, Pugsley.

1168
01:10:46,744 --> 01:10:48,510
I let you down.

1169
01:10:48,512 --> 01:10:50,212
I was so focused
on doing things

1170
01:10:50,214 --> 01:10:52,012
the traditional way,

1171
01:10:52,014 --> 01:10:54,151
I forgot to let you
be who you are.

1172
01:10:58,588 --> 01:10:59,654
<i>Hey!</i>

1173
01:10:59,656 --> 01:11:03,559
<i>Are ya ready
for your Margaux makeover now?</i>

1174
01:11:03,561 --> 01:11:04,860
It's Margaux.

1175
01:11:04,862 --> 01:11:06,227
She must have turned
the whole town

1176
01:11:06,229 --> 01:11:07,863
into stark raving lunatics.

1177
01:11:07,865 --> 01:11:10,265
Well, I have to admit,
I admire her work.

1178
01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:11,400
Let's do this thing!

1179
01:11:11,402 --> 01:11:13,235
It's locked and loaded,
Margaux.

1180
01:11:13,237 --> 01:11:15,640
Let's go get 'em!
We've had enough!

1181
01:11:16,205 --> 01:11:17,207
Fire!

1182
01:11:22,144 --> 01:11:25,982
<i>Get out!</i>

1183
01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:33,888
Pugsley!

1184
01:11:33,890 --> 01:11:36,958
What is the true meaning
of the Mazurka?

1185
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:39,461
It's about protecting
our family

1186
01:11:39,463 --> 01:11:41,663
from those who would
do us harm!

1187
01:11:41,665 --> 01:11:45,069
Go ahead.
Show 'em what you're good at.

1188
01:11:49,740 --> 01:11:53,809
<i>All we have to do
is pull down the side walls!</i>

1189
01:11:53,811 --> 01:11:55,842
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1190
01:11:55,844 --> 01:11:58,079
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

1191
01:11:58,081 --> 01:12:01,852
<i>'Cause if you mess with me
You're messing with my family</i>

1192
01:12:05,022 --> 01:12:07,890
Everyone, follow my boy!

1193
01:12:12,963 --> 01:12:14,130
Hey, guys!

1194
01:12:31,147 --> 01:12:34,818
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

1195
01:12:39,322 --> 01:12:43,160
<i>But this family
is about to go global</i>

1196
01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,633
<i>Fire!</i>

1197
01:12:53,070 --> 01:12:55,305
Shakalaka bang, baby!

1198
01:13:02,412 --> 01:13:04,245
Quick! Out this way!

1199
01:13:08,885 --> 01:13:10,720
Pop, I'm out of ammo!

1200
01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:13,989
We're trapped!

1201
01:13:36,213 --> 01:13:38,012
Hope I'm not crashing
the party.

1202
01:13:38,014 --> 01:13:39,114
Wednesday!

1203
01:13:39,116 --> 01:13:40,414
Yeah!

1204
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,285
Ichabod, quick,
lower your branches!

1205
01:13:45,054 --> 01:13:46,723
Everyone, grab on!

1206
01:14:09,946 --> 01:14:15,016
Margaux Needler never stops
until the project is complete.

1207
01:14:18,488 --> 01:14:19,823
Fire in the hole!

1208
01:14:21,590 --> 01:14:23,091
Mazurka!

1209
01:14:26,495 --> 01:14:27,928
Is everyone all right?

1210
01:14:27,930 --> 01:14:30,601
No limbs missing that weren't
missing before you arrived?

1211
01:14:36,673 --> 01:14:40,842
My little raven,
I'm so happy you returned.

1212
01:14:40,844 --> 01:14:42,443
Of course I came back.

1213
01:14:42,445 --> 01:14:43,511
I knew there was no way

1214
01:14:43,513 --> 01:14:45,012
you were going
to save yourselves.

1215
01:14:45,014 --> 01:14:47,449
You are like
weak baby squirrels.

1216
01:15:00,531 --> 01:15:01,631
Socrates.

1217
01:15:03,832 --> 01:15:06,437
Eight legs, nine lives.

1218
01:15:08,804 --> 01:15:10,974
You were right,
<i>cara mia.</i>

1219
01:15:11,842 --> 01:15:13,443
People can be cruel.

1220
01:15:14,376 --> 01:15:15,776
What have we done?

1221
01:15:15,778 --> 01:15:18,312
They're just a family.

1222
01:15:18,314 --> 01:15:19,480
A family?

1223
01:15:19,482 --> 01:15:21,615
Oh, please!
They're a bunch of monsters!

1224
01:15:21,617 --> 01:15:24,052
Don't go soft on me, people.

1225
01:15:24,054 --> 01:15:26,320
I will relish hounding you

1226
01:15:26,322 --> 01:15:28,556
until that nuclear waste dump
of a house is gone

1227
01:15:28,558 --> 01:15:31,391
and your mutant family
along with it! Ah!

1228
01:15:31,393 --> 01:15:34,462
Be careful what you wish for,
Ms. Needler.

1229
01:15:34,464 --> 01:15:38,369
My family and I will never run
from the likes of you again.

1230
01:15:44,006 --> 01:15:45,974
Deep breath, Margaux.

1231
01:15:45,976 --> 01:15:47,708
Okay, I have a finale
to shoot.

1232
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:49,343
Parker, let's go.

1233
01:15:49,345 --> 01:15:51,578
I'm not going
anywhere with you.

1234
01:15:51,580 --> 01:15:52,881
I'm staying with my friend.

1235
01:15:52,883 --> 01:15:54,248
Your friend?

1236
01:15:54,250 --> 01:15:56,184
Parker, these people
are freaks.

1237
01:15:56,186 --> 01:15:58,185
If they're freaks,
then I'm a freak.

1238
01:15:58,187 --> 01:16:00,221
And so are all of you.

1239
01:16:00,223 --> 01:16:01,355
Exhibit A.

1240
01:16:01,357 --> 01:16:05,092
Ms. Gravely, you put
your underwear in the freezer.

1241
01:16:05,094 --> 01:16:07,095
Hey, it's refreshing, okay?

1242
01:16:07,097 --> 01:16:09,263
Exhibit B.
Trudy Pickering.

1243
01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:11,533
You sit on
the toilet backwards.

1244
01:16:11,535 --> 01:16:14,101
Well, where else am I supposed
to put my arms?

1245
01:16:14,103 --> 01:16:16,104
Wait, how did you know that?

1246
01:16:16,106 --> 01:16:20,108
Because your houses have been
infested with Needler-Vision.

1247
01:16:20,110 --> 01:16:22,843
She has hidden cameras
everywhere.

1248
01:16:22,845 --> 01:16:23,912
What?

1249
01:16:23,914 --> 01:16:26,580
And watches you
all of the time.

1250
01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:27,681
In my private time?

1251
01:16:27,683 --> 01:16:28,749
That is creepy, actually.

1252
01:16:28,751 --> 01:16:31,351
- What else has she seen?
- That is over the line!

1253
01:16:31,353 --> 01:16:32,520
Shut up!

1254
01:16:32,522 --> 01:16:35,891
Listen, you lemmings!
This is my town.

1255
01:16:35,893 --> 01:16:38,627
You are nothing
but a bunch of extras.

1256
01:16:38,629 --> 01:16:42,363
We are going to march down
that hill and do a live show.

1257
01:16:42,365 --> 01:16:44,032
I expect you to convince

1258
01:16:44,034 --> 01:16:46,534
those brainless peons
out there in the audience

1259
01:16:46,536 --> 01:16:49,069
that this is the perfect place
to buy a house,

1260
01:16:49,071 --> 01:16:51,739
or none of you will be living
here much longer.

1261
01:16:51,741 --> 01:16:53,408
- Do you hear me?
- Actually, Mom,

1262
01:16:53,410 --> 01:16:55,142
everyone can hear you.

1263
01:16:55,144 --> 01:16:57,311
You've been live
this whole time.

1264
01:16:57,313 --> 01:17:00,782
Three million people
are watching you right now.

1265
01:17:00,784 --> 01:17:02,784
The real you, for a change.

1266
01:17:02,786 --> 01:17:05,319
Please, what do I care what
a bunch of bloggers think?

1267
01:17:05,321 --> 01:17:06,421
Margaux?

1268
01:17:06,423 --> 01:17:07,489
What?

1269
01:17:07,491 --> 01:17:09,157
It's the network.

1270
01:17:09,159 --> 01:17:11,292
They're taking your show
off the air.

1271
01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:12,459
What?

1272
01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:14,895
No. I'll be...
I'll be bankrupt.

1273
01:17:14,897 --> 01:17:16,330
Who will buy all these houses?

1274
01:17:16,332 --> 01:17:19,266
Okay, watch this.
Now's my chance.

1275
01:17:19,268 --> 01:17:23,070
Excuse me,
I just tooted.

1276
01:17:23,072 --> 01:17:25,073
Furthermore,
I think I can help you

1277
01:17:25,075 --> 01:17:26,608
get rid of those houses.

1278
01:17:26,610 --> 01:17:28,676
- What are you talking about?
- Well, my dear,

1279
01:17:28,678 --> 01:17:31,578
you've got a bunch of houses
you need to get rid of,

1280
01:17:31,580 --> 01:17:34,183
and I've got a bunch of family
I need to get rid of.

1281
01:17:34,852 --> 01:17:36,316
Hello?

1282
01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:39,087
Excuse me. I'm Trudy.

1283
01:17:39,089 --> 01:17:43,158
Trudy Pickering. We...
We never officially met...

1284
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:45,592
Ah, yes. The toilet woman.

1285
01:17:45,594 --> 01:17:46,793
Right.

1286
01:17:46,795 --> 01:17:51,632
Listen, uh, please, give us
a chance to make it right.

1287
01:17:51,634 --> 01:17:55,304
Let us have
our own design intervention.

1288
01:17:56,305 --> 01:17:57,372
Mother,

1289
01:17:57,374 --> 01:17:59,840
I spent time
with these people,

1290
01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:03,810
and it is true, they are odd.

1291
01:18:03,812 --> 01:18:05,512
But we shouldn't judge them

1292
01:18:05,514 --> 01:18:07,516
just because
they're different.

1293
01:18:30,307 --> 01:18:31,838
- Have a wonderful day!
- Whoo-hoo.

1294
01:18:31,840 --> 01:18:32,907
And there you are.

1295
01:18:32,909 --> 01:18:34,143
- Bye-bye.
- Thanks! Bye!

1296
01:18:39,883 --> 01:18:41,516
Well, hello there!

1297
01:18:41,518 --> 01:18:44,319
Howdy, neighbor.
How's the new house?

1298
01:18:44,321 --> 01:18:48,021
Oh, I love it. I hope
you brought your umbrellas.

1299
01:18:48,023 --> 01:18:51,859
Oh, you put in a typhoon.
What a great idea.

1300
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:53,761
Don't forget
the gift basket, silly.

1301
01:18:53,763 --> 01:18:55,163
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1302
01:18:55,165 --> 01:18:57,565
We got scented
embalming fluid,

1303
01:18:57,567 --> 01:19:00,334
toes, teeth, a fruitcake,

1304
01:19:00,336 --> 01:19:03,038
rat bait,
got some dried apricots...

1305
01:19:04,273 --> 01:19:07,208
He's like training a puppy,
adorable but tiresome.

1306
01:19:07,210 --> 01:19:09,211
She's the woman of my dreams!

1307
01:19:09,213 --> 01:19:11,878
Her breath is like
a baby's diaper.

1308
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:14,282
Fester, stop!

1309
01:19:14,284 --> 01:19:17,752
Who would have thought
a guy like me, a total zero,

1310
01:19:17,754 --> 01:19:21,021
would have ended up with you,
an also zero?

1311
01:19:21,023 --> 01:19:22,959
Well, do come in!

1312
01:19:25,795 --> 01:19:29,129
Now, with
the house rebuilt, Pugsley,

1313
01:19:29,131 --> 01:19:33,402
we can throw you
the celebration you deserve!

1314
01:19:34,237 --> 01:19:38,075
You are Addams
through and through.

1315
01:19:55,924 --> 01:19:59,896
<i>Get out!</i>

1316
01:20:00,897 --> 01:20:03,564
Oh, how lovely.
The spirit's home.

1317
01:20:03,566 --> 01:20:06,769
Finally, back to normal.

1318
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:14,141
We did good.

1319
01:20:14,143 --> 01:20:16,079
I won't tell anyone
if you don't.

1320
01:20:37,433 --> 01:20:39,367
<i>They're creepy
And they're kooky</i>

1321
01:20:39,369 --> 01:20:41,368
<i>Mysterious and spooky</i>

1322
01:20:41,370 --> 01:20:43,370
<i>They're altogether ooky</i>

1323
01:20:43,372 --> 01:20:44,842
<i>The Addams family</i>

1324
01:20:45,441 --> 01:20:47,342
<i>There house is a museum</i>

1325
01:20:47,344 --> 01:20:49,343
<i>Where people come
to see 'em</i>

1326
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:51,346
<i>They really are a scream</i>

1327
01:20:51,348 --> 01:20:52,783
<i>The Addams family</i>

1328
01:20:53,950 --> 01:20:54,952
<i>Neat.</i>

1329
01:20:55,985 --> 01:20:56,987
<i>Sweet.</i>

1330
01:20:59,856 --> 01:21:01,221
<i>Petite.</i>

1331
01:21:01,223 --> 01:21:03,190
<i>So get a witch's shawl on</i>

1332
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,193
<i>A broomstick
You can crawl on</i>

1333
01:21:05,195 --> 01:21:07,194
<i>We're gonna pay a call on</i>

1334
01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:09,832
<i>The Addams family</i>

1335
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,300
<i>Family, family</i>

1336
01:21:13,302 --> 01:21:15,336
<i>I'd go to war for my family</i>

1337
01:21:15,338 --> 01:21:18,207
<i>Ups and downs
Wrong or right, it's family</i>

1338
01:21:18,974 --> 01:21:20,041
<i>They think that we crazy</i>

1339
01:21:20,043 --> 01:21:22,243
<i>They say that we crazy,
can't handle it</i>

1340
01:21:22,245 --> 01:21:25,980
<i>My back on the wall
Who I'mma call, my family</i>

1341
01:21:25,982 --> 01:21:29,450
<i>We different, we stick out
Wig out, bug out</i>

1342
01:21:29,452 --> 01:21:31,218
<i>Pop out, hop out
Go</i>

1343
01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:32,986
<i>Ball out, hey
Show out</i>

1344
01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,221
<i>A'ight, this a party</i>

1345
01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:36,556
<i>Let's not make a problem
No!</i>

1346
01:21:36,558 --> 01:21:40,095
<i>Why you looking at me like
there's something, tell me</i>

1347
01:21:40,097 --> 01:21:42,997
<i>You should know it's not just
me that you'll be rubbing</i>

1348
01:21:42,999 --> 01:21:45,669
<i>The wrong way,
so you better think twice</i>

1349
01:21:47,036 --> 01:21:50,404
<i>You shouldn't mess with me
You don't want to mess with me</i>

1350
01:21:50,406 --> 01:21:53,874
<i>'Cause if you mess with me
You're messing with my family</i>

1351
01:21:53,876 --> 01:21:55,275
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1352
01:21:55,277 --> 01:21:56,610
<i>You don't want to mess with me</i>

1353
01:21:56,612 --> 01:21:57,744
<i>No!</i>

1354
01:21:57,746 --> 01:21:58,946
<i>'Cause if you mess with me</i>

1355
01:21:58,948 --> 01:22:00,782
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

1356
01:22:00,784 --> 01:22:04,084
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

1357
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:07,523
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

1358
01:22:08,223 --> 01:22:09,891
<i>Ay, ay, ay</i>

1359
01:22:09,893 --> 01:22:11,258
<i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

1360
01:22:11,260 --> 01:22:14,261
<i>But this family
about to go global</i>

1361
01:22:14,263 --> 01:22:15,431
<i>We blowin' up!</i>

1362
01:22:17,700 --> 01:22:18,802
<i>Yeah, yeah</i>

1363
01:22:19,568 --> 01:22:20,700
<i>Yeah, yeah</i>

1364
01:22:35,585 --> 01:22:36,751
<i>Don't mess with my family</i>

1365
01:22:36,753 --> 01:22:39,386
<i>A'ight, this a party
Let's not make a problem</i>

1366
01:22:39,388 --> 01:22:40,587
<i>No!</i>

1367
01:22:40,589 --> 01:22:43,123
<i>Why you looking at me like
there's something, tell me</i>

1368
01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:46,260
<i>You should know it's not just
me that you'll be rubbing</i>

1369
01:22:46,262 --> 01:22:47,427
<i>The wrong way</i>

1370
01:22:47,429 --> 01:22:48,965
<i>So you better think twice</i>

1371
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:52,132
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1372
01:22:52,134 --> 01:22:53,967
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

1373
01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:55,403
<i>'Cause if you mess with me</i>

1374
01:22:55,405 --> 01:22:57,571
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

1375
01:22:57,573 --> 01:22:59,106
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1376
01:22:59,108 --> 01:23:01,108
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

1377
01:23:01,110 --> 01:23:04,481
<i>'Cause if you mess with me,
you're messing with my family</i>

1378
01:23:07,015 --> 01:23:08,250
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

1379
01:23:09,486 --> 01:23:11,455
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

1380
01:23:13,689 --> 01:23:15,491
- <i>Yeah</i>
- <i>Yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

1381
01:23:17,027 --> 01:23:18,124
<i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

1382
01:23:18,126 --> 01:23:19,193
<i>No!</i>

1383
01:23:19,195 --> 01:23:21,695
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

1384
01:23:21,697 --> 01:23:22,864
<i>You might think</i>

1385
01:23:22,866 --> 01:23:25,135
<i>That we are all loco</i>

1386
01:23:25,934 --> 01:23:28,935
<i>Ay, ay, ay</i>

1387
01:23:28,937 --> 01:23:30,104
<i>But this family</i>

1388
01:23:30,106 --> 01:23:31,872
<i>About to go global</i>

1389
01:23:32,974 --> 01:23:34,675
<i>They say that we mean
Mean</i>

1390
01:23:34,677 --> 01:23:36,510
<i>They say that we rude
Rude</i>

1391
01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:38,311
<i>They say we got problems
Problems</i>

1392
01:23:38,313 --> 01:23:40,148
<i>But we say it's cool</i>

1393
01:23:40,150 --> 01:23:41,515
<i>Family, family</i>

1394
01:23:41,517 --> 01:23:43,717
<i>I'd go to war for my family</i>

1395
01:23:43,719 --> 01:23:46,854
<i>Ups and downs
Wrong or right, it's family</i>

1396
01:23:46,856 --> 01:23:50,158
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

1397
01:23:50,160 --> 01:23:52,526
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

1398
01:23:52,528 --> 01:23:54,194
<i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

1399
01:23:54,196 --> 01:23:57,131
<i>Ay, ay, ay,</i>

1400
01:23:57,133 --> 01:24:00,333
<i>But this family
is about to go global</i>

1401
01:24:09,045 --> 01:24:10,310
<i>There's no bell</i>

1402
01:24:10,312 --> 01:24:12,048
<i>When you call for me</i>

1403
01:24:13,214 --> 01:24:17,316
<i>You'll be falling for miles</i>

1404
01:24:17,318 --> 01:24:21,154
<i>I'm bewitched by your misery</i>

1405
01:24:21,156 --> 01:24:25,693
<i>But I love it when you smile</i>

1406
01:24:25,695 --> 01:24:28,598
<i>Let me know
what you want from me</i>

1407
01:24:29,932 --> 01:24:33,601
<i>Whisper "love" in my ears</i>

1408
01:24:33,603 --> 01:24:36,673
<i>Before you try
to get your hooks in me</i>

1409
01:24:38,441 --> 01:24:42,575
<i>I should warn you, my dear</i>

1410
01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:46,079
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

1411
01:24:46,081 --> 01:24:50,284
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

1412
01:24:50,286 --> 01:24:54,120
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

1413
01:24:54,122 --> 01:24:57,891
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

1414
01:24:57,893 --> 01:25:01,031
<i>No escaping the way you feel</i>

1415
01:25:02,464 --> 01:25:06,033
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

1416
01:25:06,035 --> 01:25:08,638
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

1417
01:25:09,772 --> 01:25:13,940
<i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>

1418
01:25:13,942 --> 01:25:15,478
<i>Haunted house</i>

1419
01:25:21,317 --> 01:25:25,285
<i>Watch
yourself when you walk to me</i>

1420
01:25:25,287 --> 01:25:29,155
<i>Careful where
your heart treads</i>

1421
01:25:29,157 --> 01:25:32,628
<i>Suddenly,
you'll be in too deep</i>

1422
01:25:34,263 --> 01:25:37,765
<i>You'll be caught up in my web</i>

1423
01:25:37,767 --> 01:25:40,137
<i>You will think
of me constantly</i>

1424
01:25:41,637 --> 01:25:44,407
<i>And it will drive you insane</i>

1425
01:25:45,474 --> 01:25:48,812
<i>Like the tattoo
you can't remove</i>

1426
01:25:50,146 --> 01:25:54,648
<i>Like the blood in your veins</i>

1427
01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:58,252
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

1428
01:25:58,254 --> 01:26:02,422
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

1429
01:26:02,424 --> 01:26:06,360
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

1430
01:26:06,362 --> 01:26:09,629
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

1431
01:26:09,631 --> 01:26:12,768
<i>There's no escaping
the way you feel</i>

1432
01:26:14,437 --> 01:26:18,105
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

1433
01:26:18,107 --> 01:26:20,010
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

1434
01:26:21,811 --> 01:26:27,550
- <i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>
- <i>Haunted house</i>

1435
01:26:30,186 --> 01:26:33,421
<i>Yeah</i>

1436
01:26:33,423 --> 01:26:36,726
- <i>It's a haunted house</i>
- <i>Haunted house</i>