1 00:00:00,811 --> 00:00:04,111 Sync by Nerdsub www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,112 So do 'em yourself. 3 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:30,113 It'll be fun. 4 00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:31,715 I'll do 'em with you. 5 00:00:31,716 --> 00:00:33,217 She's coming over, she's coming over. 6 00:00:33,218 --> 00:00:34,752 We're Shrinky Dinking. 7 00:00:34,753 --> 00:00:35,836 We're Shrinky Dinking! 8 00:00:35,837 --> 00:00:37,955 The heck are you talking about? 9 00:00:37,956 --> 00:00:39,673 Sabrina-- we had this amazing conversation 10 00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:41,842 about Shrinky Dinks, and the whole time I'm thinking, 11 00:00:41,843 --> 00:00:43,260 "I've met my soul mate." 12 00:00:43,261 --> 00:00:45,145 Did you get any chicken? Wait. 13 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,146 She's coming over here? 14 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,130 What about her boyfriend? 15 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,182 Wyatt? I don't know. 16 00:00:48,183 --> 00:00:49,483 He's away at college, still. 17 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,768 I don't really know what this means. 18 00:00:50,769 --> 00:00:51,969 I just know she's coming over. 19 00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,904 What's going on with Maw Maw? 20 00:00:53,905 --> 00:00:55,906 She thinks she's in labor. 21 00:00:55,907 --> 00:00:57,274 Oh, my God! 22 00:00:57,275 --> 00:01:00,277 This baby's gonna rip a hole rht through me! 23 00:01:00,278 --> 00:01:02,196 Guys! I'm trying to beat the record here. 24 00:01:02,197 --> 00:01:04,365 If you're gonna talk loud, turn your faces away. 25 00:01:04,366 --> 00:01:06,200 The wind is really messing me up. 26 00:01:06,201 --> 00:01:07,501 MAW MAW: Oh, my baby! 27 00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,703 Okay, you guys have to get out of here. 28 00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,622 I don't want you to scare her away. 29 00:01:11,623 --> 00:01:13,207 I'm not going anywhere-- I like her. 30 00:01:13,208 --> 00:01:15,492 She's sarcastic and funny. 31 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,927 She speaks her mind. 32 00:01:16,928 --> 00:01:18,429 Doesn't she remind you of me? 33 00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:19,630 No. Oh, don't ever say that again. 34 00:01:19,631 --> 00:01:21,098 You'll ruin it for me. 35 00:01:21,099 --> 00:01:23,100 And if you don't want this to be the last time 36 00:01:23,101 --> 00:01:25,052 she ever comes over, you have to get rid of them. 37 00:01:25,053 --> 00:01:27,438 You need to step way back. 38 00:01:27,439 --> 00:01:28,839 This thing takes some weird bounces. 39 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,007 Fine. 40 00:01:30,008 --> 00:01:31,859 (pop) Aw! 41 00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,011 Come on, did you really think I was gonna stay in here 42 00:01:34,012 --> 00:01:35,896 and let you break my record? 43 00:01:35,897 --> 00:01:37,448 Thank you. 44 00:01:37,449 --> 00:01:39,934 And I'll take Hope, too-- but you need to take advantage 45 00:01:39,935 --> 00:01:42,069 of this and make a move on this girl. 46 00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:43,571 Try and get her to sit next to you 47 00:01:43,572 --> 00:01:45,039 in the center of the couch where it dips. 48 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,824 Ever since your fat aunt broke the springs, 49 00:01:46,825 --> 00:01:49,192 two people can't sit there without ending up in each other's laps. 50 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:50,210 Good idea. 51 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,462 Give her some wine, 52 00:01:51,463 --> 00:01:53,196 get her in t couch dip and kiss her. 53 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,198 She has a boyfriend-- I don't know if... 54 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:57,084 Jimmy, if you don't make a move soon, 55 00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:58,919 you're gonna get stuck in the friend zone. 56 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,221 And that is a real thing. 57 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,923 I saw it on Friends. 58 00:02:02,924 --> 00:02:04,875 Ross and Rachel were stuck in it. 59 00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:08,211 It made for some gd episodes, but poor Ross was in Hell. 60 00:02:10,915 --> 00:02:14,568 Captioning sponsored by 20TH TELEVISION 61 00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:43,280 It says these are supposed to cook for three minutes, 62 00:02:43,281 --> 00:02:45,149 but this oven only goes up to 225, 63 00:02:45,150 --> 00:02:47,685 so we may be in for a bit of a wait. 64 00:02:47,686 --> 00:02:48,952 SABRINA: That's okay. 65 00:02:48,953 --> 00:02:52,756 Your house has a lot of cool stuff in it. 66 00:02:52,757 --> 00:02:54,441 Who plays the piano? 67 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,827 Pretty much anybody who's trying to get on someone else's nerves. 68 00:02:59,114 --> 00:03:00,764 (laughs): Is this you? 69 00:03:00,765 --> 00:03:02,950 (chuckles): Oh... you don't want to look through that. 70 00:03:02,951 --> 00:03:04,868 That's just a bunch of boring family portraits. 71 00:03:04,869 --> 00:03:06,436 Come on, I love family phos. 72 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:07,655 Ah! 73 00:03:07,656 --> 00:03:09,990 Wow, you are, like, shockingly strong. 74 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,134 How come your mom's the only one that's happy in all these? 75 00:03:20,135 --> 00:03:22,086 Yeah, well, that's a little misleading. 76 00:03:22,087 --> 00:03:24,555 Nobody's happy. 77 00:03:24,556 --> 00:03:26,890 My parents would fight so much on Picture Day 78 00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:29,259 that it always turned into the worst day of the year. 79 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:30,961 Just shut up and put on your beret! 80 00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:33,397 No, I don't want to look like a dork wearing this! 81 00:03:33,398 --> 00:03:35,232 If you don't want to look like a dork, 82 00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:36,984 then you need to take off your face. 83 00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:38,135 (screams) 84 00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:39,653 Say "cheese." 85 00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,189 And the more portraits 86 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,158 that turned out bad, the more stressed 87 00:03:44,159 --> 00:03:45,776 my mother seemed to get. 88 00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:48,529 If we get there late, they won't have time 89 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:52,149 to change the backdrop from the family before us! 90 00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:54,134 You're killing me, Burt! 91 00:03:58,490 --> 00:03:59,957 Your mother's crazy. 92 00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:02,760 If I ever get that crazy, I want you to take me out 93 00:04:02,761 --> 00:04:05,079 in the backyard and blow my head off with a shotgun. 94 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,831 You got that? 95 00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:10,167 JIMMY: I just don't understand why we're wearing ski suits. 96 00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,301 We've never been skiing. 97 00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:13,554 I saw a picture in a house I was cleaning 98 00:04:13,555 --> 00:04:15,189 where the whole family went skiing. 99 00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:17,775 They were all smiling, they were on top of a mountain-- 100 00:04:17,776 --> 00:04:20,010 looked like a lot of fun. Of course it looked 101 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:21,645 like a lot of fun-- they were skiing. 102 00:04:21,646 --> 00:04:22,946 They weren't sitting in a car 103 00:04:22,947 --> 00:04:24,698 with no air-conditioning on a 90-degree day 104 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:25,733 wearing ski suits! 105 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:27,868 Shut up. 106 00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,352 (music playing quietly on radio) 107 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,021 Ooh, I like this song. 108 00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:32,406 ♪ Doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo... ♪ 109 00:04:32,407 --> 00:04:33,741 (turns off radio) 110 00:04:33,742 --> 00:04:36,026 I'm not in the mood for doo, wack-a-doo. 111 00:04:36,027 --> 00:04:37,711 Well, I am. 112 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,379 ♪ Doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo... ♪ 113 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,198 (turns off radio) 114 00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:43,884 (turns on radio) Burt, I swear to God, if you don't turn that thing off... 115 00:04:43,885 --> 00:04:45,636 Burt, 116 00:04:45,637 --> 00:04:47,370 slow down. Can't. 117 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,689 My boot's stuck. 118 00:04:48,690 --> 00:04:50,207 What do you mean, your boot's stuck? 119 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,942 I mean, this stupid, giant boot you made me wear is stuck. 120 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,260 Can't get it out! 121 00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:55,763 ♪ ♪ 122 00:04:55,764 --> 00:04:57,264 We're all gonna die! 123 00:04:57,265 --> 00:04:59,382 You've had a good life, kid. 124 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,550 (grunting) 125 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:02,552 (groans) 126 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,655 (tires screech) 127 00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:06,223 ♪ You had a doo, wack-a-doo ♪ 128 00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:09,059 ♪ Wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo ♪ 129 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,611 ♪ Said oopity-bup. ♪ 130 00:05:10,612 --> 00:05:14,498 I could drive if you'd let me take off these stupid boots! 131 00:05:14,499 --> 00:05:15,616 Shut up! It's two blocks! 132 00:05:15,617 --> 00:05:18,035 Keep walking! 133 00:05:19,704 --> 00:05:21,571 All right, that's enough of that. 134 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,340 Uh, you gotta be tired 135 00:05:23,341 --> 00:05:24,958 from being on your feet all day. 136 00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:27,211 We should sit down. 137 00:05:28,913 --> 00:05:31,515 Sorry, sorry, Hope threw her 138 00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:33,550 pacifier in that coin fountain at the mall. 139 00:05:33,551 --> 00:05:35,102 Burt made a wish on it, 140 00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:37,054 so he wouldn't let us take it back out. 141 00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:40,190 Hi! How are you? 142 00:05:40,191 --> 00:05:41,141 I'm good. 143 00:05:41,142 --> 00:05:42,826 Did you do your Shrinky things? 144 00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:44,645 Yep, and we were just about to sit down. 145 00:05:44,646 --> 00:05:46,063 Jimmy was just 146 00:05:46,064 --> 00:05:47,898 telling me about some of your family portraits. 147 00:05:47,899 --> 00:05:51,051 Really? 148 00:05:51,052 --> 00:05:53,821 I hope he didn't say anything to make me look too crazy. 149 00:05:53,822 --> 00:05:55,038 Eh. 150 00:05:55,039 --> 00:05:57,574 Doesn't Hope need her pacifier? 151 00:05:57,575 --> 00:05:59,576 She can suck on Burt's knuckle for a while. 152 00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:01,128 Come here, honey. 153 00:06:01,129 --> 00:06:03,630 I want to tell you about a couple of these. 154 00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,551 I want to make sure you see the kind of idiots 155 00:06:07,552 --> 00:06:09,937 I'm dealing with before you think I'm the crazy one. 156 00:06:13,391 --> 00:06:16,810 Whoa! (chuckles) This is some couch. 157 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:21,145 Sure is. 158 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,380 What are you doing coming in there 159 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,349 and using the dip before I get a chance?! 160 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,683 You're totally couch-blocking me. 161 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,835 Jimmy, you could end up marrying this girl. 162 00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:28,771 I am not gonna let you paint me out 163 00:06:28,772 --> 00:06:30,839 to be the crazy mother-in-law. 164 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,726 You already made me a stinking grandmother at 39. 165 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:38,147 Jimmy, are you missing a clump of hair in this photo? 166 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,281 Yes, he is. 167 00:06:39,282 --> 00:06:41,400 He ate it. Excuse me? 168 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,152 Someone stressed me out so much that I started 169 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,486 pulling out my hair and eating it 170 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,571 as a nervous twitch. 171 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,573 (chuckles) You look awful! 172 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,907 Why didn't you just shave your head? 173 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,042 Oh, God, no! 174 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,794 He's got a birthmark on his head 175 00:06:51,795 --> 00:06:53,245 that looks like a big ol'... 176 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,631 Florida. Shaped like Florida. 177 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:56,965 Florida with balls. 178 00:06:56,966 --> 00:07:00,419 Hey, how come your husband's not in this one? 179 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,672 Oh, that's the year Burt went crazy. 180 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:10,813 Jimmy! You better be getting dressed! 181 00:07:10,814 --> 00:07:12,147 (groans) 182 00:07:12,148 --> 00:07:15,601 Burt, don't you stretch out that turtleneck. 183 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,736 It's too tight! I can't swallow. 184 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,488 My mouth keeps filling up with spit. 185 00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:20,522 I want soup. 186 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,107 You're eating soup. 187 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,909 Jimmy! 188 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,611 I'm here. I'm ready. 189 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,229 I'm sorry. 190 00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:30,732 Oh, no, not the hair-pulling. 191 00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:32,751 We are not having another family portrait 192 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,120 where you look like you just had brain surgery. 193 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,622 It's your fault for stressing him out. 194 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,257 Just calm down. Just calm the hell down! 195 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,258 I'm trying! 196 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,409 Just calm down! 197 00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:43,595 Everybody check each other's teeth. I don't want 198 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,931 to see any of that creamed spinach we had last night. 199 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,726 Stop it, Maw Maw. 200 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,278 This is not food. 201 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,480 This tag is digging in the back of my neck. 202 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,065 Do not pull that tag off. 203 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,817 These outfits cost a fortune. 204 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,402 And the second we're done here, they're going right back 205 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,538 to Fashion Barn Outlet Outlet. 206 00:08:09,539 --> 00:08:10,789 Damn it! 207 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,160 Where's your eyebrow? 208 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,945 I ate it. I'm sorry. 209 00:08:16,946 --> 00:08:19,281 I can't do this anymore. Excuse me? 210 00:08:19,282 --> 00:08:22,050 I can't stand here and watch you torture everyone like this. 211 00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:23,085 Get back here. 212 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:26,121 Ah-ah! I'll pull it. 213 00:08:26,122 --> 00:08:28,891 You pull that tag off, we can't make 214 00:08:28,892 --> 00:08:30,425 our next credit card payment. 215 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,728 That means finance charge. 216 00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:36,732 You know how I feel about finance charges. 217 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,567 Let me walk out of here, 218 00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:40,736 and no one has to pay a finance charge. Ah! 219 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:41,970 Stay calm. 220 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,773 Fine! 221 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,859 Go! We'll take it without you! 222 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,028 It'll probably be the first good one we've ever had. 223 00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,949 Son of a bitch! 224 00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:57,419 See? It's not me. 225 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,788 It's them. They're the crazy ones. 226 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,039 Yeah, well, whoever's fault it is, 227 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,708 it's only once a year on portrait day. 228 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,043 Every other day, we're just a normal family. 229 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,661 Sorry. 230 00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:08,430 Maw Maw needs new pants. 231 00:09:08,431 --> 00:09:09,681 Her water broke. 232 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,268 I feel its head! Virginia, you're gonna need 233 00:09:13,269 --> 00:09:15,220 to come back here. I don't... I don't... 234 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,055 (gasping) I don't think I can do this alone. 235 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,691 Your fily's amazing. 236 00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:22,010 You actually like this? 237 00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:23,762 I love it! Oh, my God. 238 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,314 And your mother, she doesn't even realize 239 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,848 that she's the craziest one of them all. 240 00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,267 This is great. 241 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,368 I may never leave. 242 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,537 Why would you? 243 00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:38,193 Oh, what kind of cookies are these? 244 00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:41,630 Don't eat that. Those are Shrinky Dinks. See? 245 00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:43,916 I made ones that look like all of us. 246 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,867 And that's Sabrina. 247 00:09:45,868 --> 00:09:47,219 Amazing. Well, don't worry. 248 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,087 I'll try to keep the loony bin back there. 249 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,038 Oh, don't worry about it. 250 00:09:50,039 --> 00:09:51,924 In fact, bring Maw Maw out. 251 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,892 We can let Sabrina cut the imaginary cord. 252 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,978 Turns out she's a big fan. 253 00:09:55,979 --> 00:09:57,646 Big fan of what? 254 00:09:57,647 --> 00:09:59,514 How crazy we are, especially you. 255 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:00,732 So, thanks. 256 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,184 But I'm not crazy. 257 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,218 I already told her that. 258 00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:04,686 Oh, that's what she loves; 259 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,688 that you are, but you don't realize you are. 260 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,273 But I'm not. 261 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,274 Well, you kinda are. 262 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,059 I'm kinda not. 263 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,894 Okay, look, this is all great stuff. 264 00:10:12,895 --> 00:10:14,663 Just save it for in there. 265 00:10:14,664 --> 00:10:16,598 Oh, I'll save it for in there, all right. 266 00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:18,500 She thinks I'm crazy? 267 00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:21,086 Let's see how much crazy she can handle. 268 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,455 BURT: Virginia! Help! She's pushing! 269 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,656 Deal with it! 270 00:10:27,935 --> 00:10:32,072 So, I hear you think I'm crazy. 271 00:10:32,073 --> 00:10:36,360 Yes, I-I said you were a little crazy, 272 00:10:36,361 --> 00:10:38,028 but in a good way. 273 00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:39,880 You did tell her it was in a good way, right? 274 00:10:39,881 --> 00:10:41,648 He told me what you said. 275 00:10:41,649 --> 00:10:44,334 Okay, maybe I should go before we all end up on Dateline. 276 00:10:44,335 --> 00:10:45,919 No, you can't go. 277 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,170 You haven't seen all the family portraits yet. 278 00:10:47,171 --> 00:10:48,789 She's seen plenty. 279 00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:50,290 Let's do something else. 280 00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:55,629 Checkers? Got regular, Chinese, the kind with the horses. 281 00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:57,798 Here it is-- the last picture. 282 00:10:57,799 --> 00:10:59,165 You like crazy? 283 00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:00,967 You're gonna love this. 284 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,771 What's that? 285 00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:07,391 The portrait place is having a special on Sunday. 286 00:11:07,392 --> 00:11:09,059 I thought we weren't doing portraits anymore. 287 00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,477 Why? Because your father lost his mind? 288 00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:12,312 We have a new baby in the house, 289 00:11:12,313 --> 00:11:15,315 and we are getting our family portrait, with or without him. 290 00:11:15,316 --> 00:11:15,899 Without. 291 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,854 (video game beeping) 292 00:11:20,855 --> 00:11:22,322 Look, Jimmy, I waited too long 293 00:11:22,323 --> 00:11:24,207 to stand up to her about this portrait thing. 294 00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:25,592 Look at you. 295 00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:27,994 Even the thought of it turns you into a wck. 296 00:11:27,995 --> 00:11:29,546 Don't wait until Hope's eating her hair. 297 00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:32,082 It's disgusting. 298 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:33,633 Be a better dad than me. 299 00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:36,420 I'm going with a '50s theme this year. 300 00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,138 You can slick your hair back. 301 00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:41,475 Maybe that'll keep you from eating it like a mental patient. 302 00:11:42,877 --> 00:11:44,511 Hey, Mom? 303 00:11:46,063 --> 00:11:50,934 Maybe we... shouldn't do, uh, the-the picture? 304 00:11:50,935 --> 00:11:52,769 (game beeping) What? 305 00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:54,821 It's just, it kind of stresses you out, 306 00:11:54,822 --> 00:11:56,740 which kind of stresses me out, 307 00:11:56,741 --> 00:11:58,975 and, well, uh, there's a reason 308 00:11:58,976 --> 00:12:01,978 why we don't have a picture with everyone smiling in it... 309 00:12:01,979 --> 00:12:04,364 You told him to do this. 310 00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:05,231 Yup. 311 00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:07,667 The only reason I'm stressed out 312 00:12:07,668 --> 00:12:10,670 is because I'm the one who has to organize everything. 313 00:12:10,671 --> 00:12:12,272 It's like wrangling feral cats. 314 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,174 I would be happy to sit back 315 00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:15,909 and let somebody else guide the ship, 316 00:12:15,910 --> 00:12:17,511 but it's been 24 years, 317 00:12:17,512 --> 00:12:20,380 and no one else seems to want to take the damn reins. 318 00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:22,582 Fine. I'll do it. 319 00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:23,600 What? 320 00:12:23,601 --> 00:12:25,018 I'll take the reins 321 00:12:25,019 --> 00:12:27,187 of the... cat ship. 322 00:12:27,188 --> 00:12:28,788 If he's in charge, I'm back in. 323 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:32,943 Fine. 324 00:12:32,944 --> 00:12:35,261 Hey, when you took over the portrait stuff, 325 00:12:35,262 --> 00:12:38,231 you forgot to tell me what our theme is gonna be. 326 00:12:38,232 --> 00:12:39,566 We've only got three days, 327 00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:40,700 so you might want to nail that down. 328 00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:42,319 Um, nothing this year. 329 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,837 We're all just gonna wear whatever we're comfortable in. 330 00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:48,208 Okeydoke. 331 00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:50,710 (cooing) 332 00:12:50,711 --> 00:12:53,880 Hey, I know you probably know this, 333 00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:56,416 but, uh, we've only got two days before the portrait, 334 00:12:56,417 --> 00:12:59,302 and I noticed that you haven't plucked Maw Maw's neck mole yet. 335 00:12:59,303 --> 00:13:01,788 You have to do it early enough so the redness goes away, 336 00:13:01,789 --> 00:13:03,557 but late enough so it doesn't start to grow back. 337 00:13:03,558 --> 00:13:06,676 It's a pretty small window of opportunity. 338 00:13:06,677 --> 00:13:08,261 Yeah, that always stresses everyone out 339 00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:10,864 with all the yelling and the holding her down and all. 340 00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:12,966 You're the only one that ever really notices that hair, 341 00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:15,952 so I think I'm just gonna let her go au natural this year. 342 00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:18,471 Okeydoke. 343 00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:22,692 Tomorrow's Picture Day. 344 00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:24,143 You got a shower schedule? 345 00:13:24,144 --> 00:13:26,746 We've only got 12 minutes of warm water. 346 00:13:26,747 --> 00:13:28,748 Yeah. We're not gonna rush in the morning. 347 00:13:28,749 --> 00:13:30,867 I didn't want everybody freaking out over being late, 348 00:13:30,868 --> 00:13:33,954 so I figured we'd just get over there when we got over there. 349 00:13:33,955 --> 00:13:36,006 You know we get a dishwasher-safe portrait plate 350 00:13:36,007 --> 00:13:37,507 if we get there before 8:00 a.m. 351 00:13:37,508 --> 00:13:39,709 Yeah, I know, but since it's kind of creepy 352 00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,494 seeing the whole family staring at you 353 00:13:41,495 --> 00:13:43,663 through a plate of spaghetti, I figured it didn't matter. 354 00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:48,518 Okeydoke. 355 00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:51,137 Next. 356 00:13:54,926 --> 00:13:56,426 You know I said 357 00:13:56,427 --> 00:13:58,678 there wasn't going to be a theme, right? 358 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:00,564 I know. You told us to dress 359 00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:02,732 in something we were comfortable in. 360 00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:05,535 This is comfortable. 361 00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:07,687 MAN: Smile. 362 00:14:07,688 --> 00:14:08,788 (camera shutter clicks) 363 00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:10,457 Thanks, Mom. 364 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,959 I know this is hard for you. 365 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:13,994 Next! 366 00:14:16,363 --> 00:14:18,214 Yup. 367 00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:21,501 Oh, my God, look... 368 00:14:21,502 --> 00:14:23,703 Look at that mountain. 369 00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:25,121 MAN: Okay, um, 370 00:14:25,122 --> 00:14:27,040 how would you guys like to pose? 371 00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:28,675 Oh, my God. 372 00:14:28,676 --> 00:14:30,043 I think this looks good. 373 00:14:30,044 --> 00:14:31,428 That's easy. Let's do this. 374 00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:33,880 Here we go. 375 00:14:33,881 --> 00:14:35,932 One. 376 00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:36,866 Two... 377 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:39,152 Stop...! 378 00:14:39,153 --> 00:14:41,938 This is crazy. 379 00:14:41,939 --> 00:14:44,024 This picture is going to be terrible. 380 00:14:44,025 --> 00:14:44,908 Virginia. 381 00:14:44,909 --> 00:14:45,909 Look at you people. 382 00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:47,410 There's no theme. How is anybody 383 00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:50,396 supposed to know we're a family? We look like a bunch of idiots 384 00:14:50,397 --> 00:14:52,165 who just met each other at a thrift store. 385 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,034 We're not even posing. 386 00:14:54,035 --> 00:14:55,001 I mean, come on. 387 00:14:55,002 --> 00:14:56,953 Pick something. 388 00:14:56,954 --> 00:14:58,505 Arm in arm. 389 00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:00,173 Shoulder train. 390 00:15:00,174 --> 00:15:01,891 Conga line. 391 00:15:01,892 --> 00:15:04,110 Rappers. Anything. 392 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:05,729 Damn it, at the very least, 393 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,865 we should be all facing away from the camera 394 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,017 and look over our shoulders. 395 00:15:11,018 --> 00:15:12,285 Mom, settle down. 396 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,820 It's okay. 397 00:15:13,821 --> 00:15:15,322 It is not okay, Jimmy! 398 00:15:15,323 --> 00:15:16,740 It is not okay! 399 00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:17,874 Because the picture isn't perfect. 400 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,209 And if the picture isn't perfect, 401 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,660 there isn't any reason to take it. 402 00:15:20,661 --> 00:15:22,629 Oh, for God's sake, 403 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:27,200 am I the only one who sees that giant tree branch 404 00:15:27,201 --> 00:15:30,970 of a hair growing out of the side of Maw Maw's neck?! 405 00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:40,922 Hey. 406 00:15:40,923 --> 00:15:42,373 You okay? 407 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,342 No. 408 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:45,826 Jimmy's paying. 409 00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:47,628 Then we can get out of here. 410 00:15:48,931 --> 00:15:50,231 I think the one picture 411 00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:52,300 the guy took cod be all right. 412 00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:53,768 Not the worst one we've ever had. 413 00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,558 Why does the picture have to be perfect? 414 00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,994 'Cause everyone else's is. 415 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:04,812 Who? Everyone. 416 00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:08,182 You don't understand. 417 00:16:08,183 --> 00:16:11,169 You clean people's pools, you cut their grass. 418 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,404 You're outside. 419 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:15,856 I'm cleaning the inside. 420 00:16:15,857 --> 00:16:19,827 And every house I clean has these perfect family portraits. 421 00:16:19,828 --> 00:16:24,215 Everyone's happy and smiling. 422 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:28,820 I just wanted one perfect portrait 423 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,589 so I could fool people into thinking we have 424 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:33,808 whatever all those other families have. 425 00:16:33,809 --> 00:16:35,810 But we don't. 426 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:41,682 Every house has a good picture? 427 00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:43,901 Yes. 428 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:45,953 What other nice stuff they got in there? 429 00:16:45,954 --> 00:16:47,789 You don't want to know. 430 00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:59,283 MAN (on radio): ...especially to Gunner, Roach and Spotter. 431 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:02,670 (country song plays) 432 00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:04,905 ♪ I hear tell you're doing well ♪ 433 00:17:04,906 --> 00:17:06,958 ♪ Good things have come to you ♪ 434 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,292 (Hope cooing) 435 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,628 ♪ I wish I had your happiness ♪ 436 00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,263 ♪ And you had a doo-wack-a ♪ 437 00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:15,850 ♪ Doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a, doo... ♪ 438 00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:17,685 (turns radio off) 439 00:17:20,922 --> 00:17:24,542 ♪ I wish I had your good luck charm ♪ 440 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,694 ♪ And you had a doo-wack... ♪ 441 00:17:26,695 --> 00:17:29,197 (Hope cooing) 442 00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:31,115 ♪ You got money in the sack ♪ 443 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,868 ♪ Both hands on the wheel and your shoulders right back ♪ 444 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,786 ♪ Root, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, bah... ♪ 445 00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:37,655 ♪ I hear tell you're doing well ♪ 446 00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:41,242 ♪ Good things have come to you ♪ 447 00:17:41,243 --> 00:17:43,411 ♪ I wish I had... ♪ 448 00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:45,963 (music stops) 449 00:17:48,783 --> 00:17:50,585 (Hope coos) 450 00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:53,838 ♪ I wish I had your good luck charm ♪ 451 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,506 ♪ And you had a doo-wack-a ♪ 452 00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,225 ♪ Doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a ♪ 453 00:17:57,226 --> 00:17:58,926 ♪ Doo-wack-a, doo... ♪ 454 00:17:58,927 --> 00:18:01,479 ♪ You're going down the street in your big Cadillac ♪ 455 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,348 ♪ You got girls in the front, you got girls in the back ♪ 456 00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:06,817 ♪ Yeah, way in the back, got money in the sack ♪ 457 00:18:06,818 --> 00:18:09,687 ♪ Both hands on the wheel and your shoulders right back ♪ 458 00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:12,490 ♪ Root, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ 459 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,609 ♪ I hear tell you're doing well ♪ 460 00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,994 ♪ Good things have come to you ♪ 461 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:19,780 ♪ I wish I had your happiness ♪ 462 00:18:19,781 --> 00:18:21,815 ♪ And you had a doo-wack-a ♪ 463 00:18:21,816 --> 00:18:23,317 ♪ Doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a ♪ 464 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:25,286 ♪ Doo-wack-a, doo. ♪ 465 00:18:25,287 --> 00:18:26,954 ♪ Doo-wack-a, doo-wack-a... ♪ 466 00:18:26,955 --> 00:18:28,873 (Maw Maw scat singing) 467 00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,992 (Maw Maw keeps singing) 468 00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,715 How about that? 469 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,300 SABRINA: I like it. 470 00:18:39,301 --> 00:18:40,768 Sure you do. 471 00:18:40,769 --> 00:18:43,221 It's another crazy thing to make fun of our family about. 472 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,672 You want to go in the other room 473 00:18:44,673 --> 00:18:46,307 and have a look at my grandmother's inverted nipples? 474 00:18:46,308 --> 00:18:48,109 How about our bank statement? 475 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,393 That's a hoot. 476 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,862 I think it's a great picture. 477 00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,781 I mean, my family has all those portraits 478 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:55,783 that you were talking about, and, you know, 479 00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:58,286 we're all smiling, but somebody told us when to smile, 480 00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:00,705 so those smiles are fake. 481 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,406 All these smiles are real. 482 00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:06,494 You captured a moment of actual family joy, 483 00:19:06,495 --> 00:19:08,913 and that's kind of rare. 484 00:19:10,365 --> 00:19:13,351 I think you finally got your picture. 485 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:19,090 I like her, Jimmy. 486 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:22,543 Smart, insightful. 487 00:19:22,544 --> 00:19:24,762 I told you we had a lot in common. 488 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,080 You're staying for dinner. 489 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:29,317 We've having TV dinners! 490 00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:30,884 (phone ringing) If you're a vegetarian, 491 00:19:30,885 --> 00:19:33,070 I'm pretty sure you can talk Burt into trading you 492 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:35,089 his vegetable section 493 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,925 for your Salisbury steak section. 494 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,760 She hit ignore. 495 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,078 What? e hit ignore. 496 00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,513 Her boyfriend just called, and she hit ignore. 497 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,764 What does that mean? 498 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,132 My phone doesn't have an ignore. 499 00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:46,934 When I ignore someone, I just ignore them. 500 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,569 I don't know. I don't have ignore, either. 501 00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:49,887 But this is good, right? 502 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,273 Go kiss her. What?! 503 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,475 Go kiss her. Now. It's time. I'm telling you. 504 00:19:54,476 --> 00:19:57,228 You need to do it before it's too late. Go! 505 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,448 Two pounds, three ounces. 506 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,566 Mother is resting comfortably. 507 00:20:04,653 --> 00:20:06,253 Thanks for having me over. 508 00:20:06,254 --> 00:20:08,456 This was really fun. 509 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,579 I, uh, I gotta admit I was a little nervous 510 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,298 about you learning so much about my family. 511 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,783 I thought it might scare you off. 512 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:19,884 Oh, no way. 513 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,052 No, just the opposite. 514 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,888 (both chuckle) 515 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,307 However, if you meet a girl that you want to date, 516 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,342 you know, like, not just a friend? 517 00:20:28,343 --> 00:20:30,177 You might want to hold off on showing her 518 00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:31,929 the family photo album for a couple months. 519 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,849 Yeah, that might be a good idea. Yeah. 520 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:37,401 Waited too long... 521 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,370 just like Ross. 522 00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:42,473 She's... (grunts) 523 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:44,675 (both chuckle) 524 00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:48,362 JIMMY: Mae I did wait too long. 525 00:20:48,363 --> 00:20:50,898 But I did learn one thing today: 526 00:20:50,899 --> 00:20:52,399 Sabrina likes me. 527 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,702 Right now it might just be as a friend, 528 00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:56,754 but who knows? 529 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,006 (Hope cooing) 530 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,325 She was enjoying hanging out with me enough 531 00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,044 to ignore a call from her boyfriend. 532 00:21:03,045 --> 00:21:06,580 Maybe one day she'll be willing to ignore him altogether. 533 00:21:06,581 --> 00:21:08,516 (cooing) 534 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:12,317 Sync by Nerdsub www.addic7ed.com