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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Here we go
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
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What's this?
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Oh, that's for
Susan Banthony's birthday.
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She got women the right to vote
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and invented
that dollar coin nobody uses.
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You found my head yet?
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Still looking.
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Hey.
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(gasps)
Jimmy,
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what are you doing here?
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With Hope? Unannounced.
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(whispering):
Three days before Arbor Day.
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Oh, my God, are we doing it?
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Doing what? Why is he hiding
behind the couch?
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Uh, Maw Maw, why don't you take
Hope back into your room?
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Now, hang on.
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Let's make sure she's lucid first.
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This morning she tried to make
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a long distance call with a stapler.
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Maw Maw, what day of the week is it?
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What town do we live in?
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What's the secret ingredient in
your pineapple upside-down cake?
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Tuesday, Natesville, and that
secret dies with me, bitch.
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She's good to go--
have fun, honey.
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So, do you think that Hope's
old enough for it?
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We started with you
when you were little.
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Time-out-- what are
you talking about?
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Well, only the most magical day
of the year.
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Arbor Day.
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You guys celebrate Arbor Day?
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Yeah, and this is my costume.
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I'm the mystical gift-giving
wizard of the forest.
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Papa Woody.
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(laughs)
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I came up with the name.
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We thought it was hilarious.
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Jimmy never got it.
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Got what?
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Papa Woody, the famous spirit
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of the forest who pitches
his tent deep in the bush.
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(both chuckling)
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Still don't understand what's so funny.
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But as a kid, nothing made me happier
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than seeing my dad Papa Woody.
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(laughter)
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Okay, why do you guys
celebrate Arbor Day?
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When Jimmy was a kid, we
celebrated all the holidays.
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Not just the big ones.
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Presidents' Day was always a fun one.
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We'd dress as dead presidents
and wake Jimmy up
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with a shower of chocolate coins.
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We now crown you King
of Presidents' Day.
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Long live the king.
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VIRGINIA: And then we would kick
back, watch our favorite show--
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Beverly Hills 90210--
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and eat our Presidents' Day meal.
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LBJ sandwiches--
lettuce, butter and jelly.
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And then to cap off the day,
Burt would sing
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a special song he had written
just for the occasion.
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♪ Presidents' Day was so much fun ♪
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♪ Started with George Washington ♪
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♪ Jimmy got a special treat
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♪ 'Cause freeing
the slaves was really sweet. ♪
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Presidents' Day was awesome.
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VIRGINIA: Another favorite
was Groundhog Day.
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But since there were no
groundhogs left in Natesville
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after the chemical spill, we
just dug holes in the backyard
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and filled them with treats
for Jimmy to find.
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The groundhog left something
for you, too, Daddy.
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VIRGINIA: And then we would
relax and watch 90210
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and eat our special Groundhog Day meal.
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Six more weeks of wieners.
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And then to finish the
celebration, Burt would sing
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a special song he had written
just for the occasion.
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♪ Groundhog Day was really fun
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♪ Rodent looking
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♪ For the sun
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♪ When his shadow did appear
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♪ You got chocolate,
I got beer. ♪
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Groundhog's Day was awesome.
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VIRGINIA: On Arbor Day,
we'd fill the living room
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with real live little trees
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and hang treats for Jimmy
from the branches.
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Burt would wear his Arbor Day costume
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and Jimmy had no idea it was him.
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Thanks, Papa Woody,
I wish you were my dad.
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Well, I'm sure he wishes you
were good at throwing footballs
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or eating with your mouth closed.
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Okay, Papa Woody.
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Happy Arbor Day.
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Tree you next year.
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Tree you next year.
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VIRGINIA:
And as part of our perfect day,
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we watched the perfect TV show.
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90210.
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And ate our traditional
Arbor Day meal--
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warm maple syrup soup.
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(all slurping)
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And then to finish the holiday,
Burt would sing
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a special song he had written
just for the occasion.
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♪ Arbor Day was really fun
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♪ Presents grew for everyone
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♪ Give great thanks to Papa Woody ♪
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♪ You're the happiest boy
in the neighborhood-y. ♪
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Arbor Day was awesome.
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Okay, so I get the gifts
and the songs and the costumes.
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But what was the deal
with Beverly Hills 90210?
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Oh, a lady I cleaned for gave us
the whole second season on VHS.
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We got hooked immediately.
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Moody Dylan, sweet Brandon,
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smoking Brenda.
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We didn't want to celebrate
a holiday without 'em.
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Arbor Day was my favorite.
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All year long, I'd ask for stuff.
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Candy, toys,
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beef jerky, and Mom and Dad said,
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"Those things
don't grow on trees."
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But on Arbor Day, they did.
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That is such a sweet tradition,
I love that.
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Count me in.
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So, where do you guys plant
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the little baby trees afterward?
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Oh, we don't plant 'em.
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We take 'em out back till
they're dried out enough
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for the Chinese New Year bonfire.
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♪ Chinese New Year is really fun ♪
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♪ Dancing dragons, egg foo yong ♪
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♪ Up above the Great Wall high
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♪ Like a chopstick
in the sky... ♪
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Chinese New Year's awesome.
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♪ Yeah.
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So, you're telling me that
you burn trees on Arbor Day?
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No, we pull them out
of the ground on Arbor Day.
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They're still green and alive.
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We got to wait till they're dead
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and dried out before we torch 'em.
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God, you're such a Brenda sometimes.
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(both laugh)
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In the spirit of Arbor Day Eve,
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we wait for the right moment
and then sneak over
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to Porter Street Park and
grab up some little saplings
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for our holiday.
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(grunts)
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Oh, my God, it was you.
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You were the ones that dug them up.
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Dug them up? They
practically fell over.
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Yeah, you could rip 'em right out.
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It was like a bunch of kids planted 'em.
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Yeah, I was one of those kids.
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Every year for Arbor Day,
my scout troop would go
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to that park and plant saplings.
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(speaking with lisp):
Someday you'll be 600 feet tall.
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You'll provide shade,
oxygen, and a place
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for homeless people to go
to the bathroom.
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The next day I made
the driver go out of our way
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so I should show my parents
what I planted.
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Mommy, Daddy, my tree's coming up.
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It's gone, my tree's gone.
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Why?
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You people don't respect Arbor Day.
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You defile it.
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(speaking with lisp):
How could you do this?
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Oh, my God, I'm getting so upset,
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my lisp is coming back.
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You people are monsters!
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Did she say we were
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mobsters?
I think she said "monsters."
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Well, she is definitely missing
the spirit of Arbor Day.
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Uh...
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I taught her about death.
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She's not taking it too well.
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You guys deal with it.
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What are you doing in the freezer?
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Uh, just chillin'.
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(laughing)
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Oh, thank God.
(sighs)
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I've been in here 40 minutes
waiting for someone
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to laugh at that.
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I think I might lose my pinky
toe, but it was worth it.
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I've get your special order--
I'll meet you up front.
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(laughing)
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Oh.
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Well, if it isn't the human equivalent of root rot.
BURT: Sabrina,
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as a landscaper, if you really
wanted to hit us where it hurt,
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you'd have called us
aspen canker fungus.
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(sighs) Here we go.
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Five gallons of the finest
Grade C, non-organic maple syrup
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ever imported from South America.
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Nothing like a belly full
of warm maple syrup soup
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when you're getting ready for
the great pulling of the trees.
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Must take a lot of syrup
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to sugarcoat the murdering
of all those trees.
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Oh, come on.
You don't hear anyone whining
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about the trees at Christmas
when the whole world
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chops 'em down and drags 'em
into their living room.
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Because that's a tradition,
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not some crazy, made-up way
to spend a holiday.
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So, uh, you guys are just here
for the syrup then? Yeah?
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That's what traditions are--
they're all made-up,
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they're all crazy.
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What's a bunny have to do
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with Easter?
What's a fat baby angel
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with a bow and arrow have to do
with getting a woman
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some silk panties on Valentine's Day?
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Would you folks like some
help getting this syrup
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out to your car, then?
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We got it, Jimmy.
Just make sure you have Hope
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at our house at 5:00 a.m.,
so she can wake up
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in the Arbor Day forest.
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Look, Hope is not gonna take
part in your tree genocide.
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00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:52,904
Don't any of you know what
Arbor Day is really all about?
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00:08:52,938 --> 00:08:54,405
Sure, Sabrina.
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00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,008
I can tell you what Arbor Day
is really all about.
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Lights, please.
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(upbeat instrumental playing)
In 1854 a young pioneer,
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00:09:03,999 --> 00:09:06,300
J. Sterling Morton,
moved from Detroit
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00:09:06,335 --> 00:09:08,369
to the Nebraska Territory.
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00:09:08,403 --> 00:09:10,838
He and his fellow pioneers
missed their trees,
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00:09:10,873 --> 00:09:15,843
so on January 4, 1872, Morton
proposed a tree-planting holiday
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00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:18,112
to be called Arbor Day.
(clattering, grunting)
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00:09:18,147 --> 00:09:20,664
(music stops) Everyone, please hold still!
I'm almost done!
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00:09:20,682 --> 00:09:22,967
(music resumes)
BARNEY: Over a million trees
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00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:26,120
were planted in Nebraska
on that first Arbor Day,
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00:09:26,155 --> 00:09:31,476
and today those tiny saplings
have grown into a grove.
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00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:34,612
A family of trees, if you will.
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00:09:34,646 --> 00:09:36,464
(music ends)
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That's what Arbor Day is all about.
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00:09:39,184 --> 00:09:42,787
And now that the Chance tree
has intertwined branches
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00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:45,823
with the Collins tree,
perhaps the best idea
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00:09:45,857 --> 00:09:48,459
is for this tradition to grow together.
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00:09:48,494 --> 00:09:50,411
Yes, exactly-- grow,
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not destroy. Look,
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I'm more than happy to drink
maple syrup soup
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and watch 90210,
but I-I just cannot take part
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00:09:57,369 --> 00:09:59,837
in the senseless execution
of innocent trees.
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00:09:59,871 --> 00:10:01,372
But the trees
are the most important part
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00:10:01,390 --> 00:10:03,975
of the whole tradition!
You can't just start a new tradition
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00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:06,010
and think it's gonna be as good.
241
00:10:06,044 --> 00:10:07,395
You ever see the Puppy Bowl?
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00:10:07,429 --> 00:10:09,514
They can't even pick that ball up.
And if you
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00:10:09,548 --> 00:10:10,848
don't want to come, you don't have to.
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00:10:10,882 --> 00:10:12,016
Just Jimmy and Hope can come.
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00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,901
SABRINA: None of us are coming.
We are not exposing
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00:10:13,936 --> 00:10:15,603
our daughter
to your crazy tree holocaust.
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00:10:15,654 --> 00:10:16,487
Right, Jimmy?
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00:10:16,522 --> 00:10:17,455
BURT:
Jimmy, are you really
249
00:10:17,489 --> 00:10:18,773
turning your back on Papa Woody
250
00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:20,658
and your mama's warm maple syrup soup?
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JIMMY: I was forced to choose between
the traditions of my parents
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00:10:23,529 --> 00:10:25,746
and the wishes of my wife.
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00:10:27,332 --> 00:10:30,334
I chose to go with the one
I share a bed with.
254
00:10:31,753 --> 00:10:34,005
I can't say it was as original or as fun
255
00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:36,207
or as exciting
as my parents' tradition...
256
00:10:37,893 --> 00:10:39,994
...but it was nice to know
that Hope would grow up
257
00:10:40,028 --> 00:10:41,362
understanding the important role
258
00:10:41,396 --> 00:10:43,497
that trees play in our lives.
259
00:10:43,532 --> 00:10:48,519
NARRATOR: And in the ultimate
example of biological synergy,
260
00:10:48,554 --> 00:10:50,938
our majestic,
bark-covered friends
261
00:10:50,973 --> 00:10:53,224
exhale life-giving oxygen.
262
00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,398
JIMMY: And that night we
all slept with visions
263
00:11:00,432 --> 00:11:03,067
of sugar maples dancing in our heads.
264
00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:05,820
Well, maybe not all of us.
265
00:11:15,664 --> 00:11:18,249
(screaming)
266
00:11:18,283 --> 00:11:19,584
Oh, God!
267
00:11:19,618 --> 00:11:20,635
Who the hell are you?
268
00:11:20,669 --> 00:11:22,837
I'm the Ghost of Arbor Day.
269
00:11:22,888 --> 00:11:24,255
Arbor Day has its own ghost?
270
00:11:24,289 --> 00:11:27,558
No, I also cover Flag Day,
Labor Day, Boxing Day,
271
00:11:27,593 --> 00:11:29,260
Yom Kippur, a whole bunch.
272
00:11:29,294 --> 00:11:31,573
So put on your slippers.
We're going for a walk.
273
00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:33,598
(screams)
274
00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:40,537
Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy,
wake up, wake up!
275
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:42,959
He can't hear you.
It's a dream.
276
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,877
Look, let's get a move on, okay?
277
00:11:44,929 --> 00:11:47,547
Let's get this legal mumbo jumbo
out of the way first.
278
00:11:47,598 --> 00:11:49,766
I am a ghost.
These are your rights:
279
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,301
you have the right to continue dreaming.
280
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,770
Also, I cannot touch your
breasts without your permission.
281
00:11:53,804 --> 00:11:55,104
Do I have your permission?
282
00:11:55,139 --> 00:11:56,272
No.
283
00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:58,524
Very well, then.
I am here to show you a vision
284
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,444
of Arbor Day past, present, future.
285
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,566
After you, princess.
286
00:12:09,069 --> 00:12:14,073
This is the Porter Street
playground 20 years ago,
287
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,875
day after Christmas.
288
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,377
Hey, that's me.
289
00:12:17,411 --> 00:12:19,545
And that's my Suzie So Real doll.
290
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:20,863
Oh, my God, I loved her.
291
00:12:20,881 --> 00:12:22,698
Then she got recalled
when they found out
292
00:12:22,716 --> 00:12:24,300
her hair felt so real 'cause it came
293
00:12:24,335 --> 00:12:25,618
from the heads of Ukrainian orphans.
294
00:12:25,653 --> 00:12:27,703
You know, you can really help
move this thing along
295
00:12:27,721 --> 00:12:29,639
if you keep your mouth shut
and your eyes open.
296
00:12:29,673 --> 00:12:33,059
Anyway, a lot of kids got what
they wanted that year.
297
00:12:33,093 --> 00:12:38,147
But one little boy, he wasn't
so lucky on Christmas.
298
00:12:38,182 --> 00:12:42,235
All he got was a homemade yo-yo
and a hand full of splinters.
299
00:12:44,021 --> 00:12:46,072
Damn it, I really thought I solved
300
00:12:46,106 --> 00:12:48,324
the "come back up" problem this year.
301
00:12:48,359 --> 00:12:50,360
Don't beat yourself up, Burt.
302
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,228
Even if you made
the world's best yo-yo,
303
00:12:52,246 --> 00:12:54,330
it could never compete
with all the expensive toys
304
00:12:54,365 --> 00:12:55,498
these other kids have.
305
00:12:56,784 --> 00:12:59,285
Ha-ha, Santa hates you.
306
00:13:00,504 --> 00:13:01,838
(gasps)
307
00:13:03,674 --> 00:13:06,376
Virginia and Burt felt terrible
308
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,294
about how Christmas went for months.
309
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,513
Except New Year's Eve
and St. Patrick's Day,
310
00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:12,015
then they got pretty drunk.
311
00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:13,466
(chuckles)
312
00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:15,551
But come springtime, they had an idea.
313
00:13:26,647 --> 00:13:29,198
VIRGINIA:
Look how happy he is.
314
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:30,650
And the best part is,
315
00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:33,152
no kid in town is going
to be happier on Arbor Day
316
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,404
than our son.
317
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:35,955
We don't have to stop here.
318
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,990
Cinco de Mayo is right
around the corner.
319
00:13:38,042 --> 00:13:39,992
And there's Presidents' Day, Flag Day,
320
00:13:40,044 --> 00:13:41,244
Columbus Day.
Yeah.
321
00:13:43,414 --> 00:13:45,698
Wow, that's really sweet.
322
00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:48,167
Yes, it is.
323
00:13:49,303 --> 00:13:52,505
I hope this is not
too forward, but I would love
324
00:13:52,556 --> 00:13:57,226
to see your 9021-oh face.
325
00:13:59,963 --> 00:14:01,931
Maybe later.
326
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:04,317
Okay, let's go see
what's going on across town.
327
00:14:09,073 --> 00:14:10,823
It was Arbor Day at your nana's house,
328
00:14:10,858 --> 00:14:13,109
and you were so excited
to tell everybody
329
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,410
about your new trees.
330
00:14:14,445 --> 00:14:17,113
Daddy, Daddy, I planted
six trees all by myself.
331
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,282
I even got an achievement star.
332
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,667
That sounds like something
your mother would care about.
333
00:14:21,702 --> 00:14:23,669
Try telling her.
334
00:14:26,707 --> 00:14:29,292
Mommy, Mommy, I'm very proud of my trees.
335
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,344
I'd love for you to come see them.
336
00:14:31,378 --> 00:14:33,513
Not now, honey.
Mommy's on the phone.
337
00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:36,716
Yes. Any chance you
found a pocket mirror
338
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:41,804
and a rolled-up $100
bill in your men's room?
339
00:14:41,838 --> 00:14:43,723
And once the roots take hold,
340
00:14:43,774 --> 00:14:48,644
those trees are going to grow
big and tall just like me.
341
00:14:48,678 --> 00:14:51,697
Sabrina, you better
not be making my drink slowly
342
00:14:51,732 --> 00:14:54,617
just to have some time
to finish your boring story.
343
00:14:56,954 --> 00:15:00,389
Hmm. I remember this room.
344
00:15:00,424 --> 00:15:02,125
I used to stay in here
345
00:15:02,159 --> 00:15:04,243
when my parents were away on business.
346
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,879
It was kind of lonely,
but the good news was
347
00:15:06,914 --> 00:15:09,549
my parents made so much money,
I could have any toy I wanted.
348
00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:11,667
Don't worry, Suzie.
When I grow up
349
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,654
and have a family, we're gonna
have time for each other.
350
00:15:14,688 --> 00:15:18,141
We're not going to worry
about work or money or anything.
351
00:15:18,175 --> 00:15:21,828
We're only going to worry
about each other.
352
00:15:23,931 --> 00:15:26,349
I am shocked you didn't
become a stripper.
353
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:30,153
All right, enough with the past.
354
00:15:30,187 --> 00:15:31,720
Let's get back to the present.
355
00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:35,057
I have a date with the Ghost
of Canadian Thanksgiving.
356
00:15:35,075 --> 00:15:38,694
She's a little bit thick,
but she got a sweet face.
357
00:15:44,751 --> 00:15:47,887
This holiday feels kind of
stupid without a kid around.
358
00:15:47,921 --> 00:15:50,206
I know, it's just not the same
359
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,425
watching Brenda and Dylan
make out without seeing
360
00:15:52,459 --> 00:15:56,262
the confusion and wonder
in a young child's eyes.
361
00:15:57,514 --> 00:15:58,548
(both slurping)
362
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:00,533
Wow, that's really sad.
363
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:03,886
Well, what'd you expect?
You ruined their Arbor Day.
364
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:10,476
You know, they're not the only
ones who are bummed out.
365
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:17,567
And when the little boy
woke up the next day,
366
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:21,204
all the things he wanted
were growing on trees.
367
00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:23,839
But remember,
368
00:16:23,874 --> 00:16:25,825
this is only a story, all right?
369
00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:30,813
It won't really be like
this when you wake up.
370
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:33,716
(both sigh)
371
00:16:36,253 --> 00:16:38,471
Welcome to Arbor Day future.
372
00:16:38,505 --> 00:16:40,823
Oh, my God, is that Hope?
373
00:16:40,857 --> 00:16:43,492
She's so beautiful.
And look at all
374
00:16:43,527 --> 00:16:46,679
the stuff she has.
Jimmy and I must be doing really well.
375
00:16:52,319 --> 00:16:54,437
Jimmy's bald?
376
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:55,855
No, but I looked back
377
00:16:55,906 --> 00:16:58,524
at six generations of photos
to make sure that there was
378
00:16:58,575 --> 00:17:01,444
no baldness in his family
before I broke up with Wyatt.
379
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,811
It's stress-related.
380
00:17:02,829 --> 00:17:04,447
When you made Jimmy stop celebrating
381
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,198
all the minor holidays,
382
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,751
he felt pressure
to go overboard on Christmas
383
00:17:08,785 --> 00:17:10,703
so Hope would have things
other kids have.
384
00:17:10,754 --> 00:17:13,372
There's a saying in the ghost world:
385
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:14,840
"Behind every bald man
386
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,793
is a ball-busting woman."
387
00:17:19,596 --> 00:17:22,431
Daddy, I was using
that new telescope you gave me
388
00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:24,216
and I discovered a new comet.
389
00:17:24,268 --> 00:17:25,217
Daddy's busy, honey.
390
00:17:25,269 --> 00:17:26,435
Can you tell your mother
391
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:29,555
I picked up some overtime
at Howdy's East?
392
00:17:29,606 --> 00:17:31,440
(sighs)
393
00:17:31,475 --> 00:17:34,176
SABRINA:
He looks terrible.
394
00:17:34,194 --> 00:17:35,394
I mean, did I stay with him?
395
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:37,647
Because, I-I mean,
I take care of myself,
396
00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:39,115
and I expect that my...
Yeah, bup-bup-bup-bup,
397
00:17:39,149 --> 00:17:40,900
wait for it.
398
00:17:45,489 --> 00:17:46,739
(gasps)
399
00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:48,357
Since it was your choice
to stop celebrating
400
00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:49,742
the minor holidays,
401
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:51,544
pressure got to you, too.
402
00:17:51,578 --> 00:17:52,861
Hey, Mommy, I...
403
00:17:52,879 --> 00:17:54,580
No, not now, honey.
Mommy's got to go to work.
404
00:17:54,631 --> 00:17:56,749
(sighs) All those cool toys you have
405
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,167
don't grow on trees.
406
00:17:58,201 --> 00:17:59,835
Go talk to your robot.
407
00:18:02,005 --> 00:18:04,807
(door opens and closes)
408
00:18:05,809 --> 00:18:07,310
No.
409
00:18:07,344 --> 00:18:08,811
No, but I....
410
00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:14,350
When I grow up and have a family,
411
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,601
we're gonna have time for each other.
412
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,820
We're not going to worry about work
413
00:18:17,854 --> 00:18:19,888
or money or anything.
414
00:18:19,906 --> 00:18:22,274
We're only gonna worry about each other.
415
00:18:22,326 --> 00:18:23,659
(robotic voice):
Nanny-Bot registering
416
00:18:23,694 --> 00:18:25,661
unacceptable levels of sadness.
417
00:18:28,265 --> 00:18:31,200
Initiating antidepressant cloud.
418
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:33,903
(distorted voice):
It's a dream.
419
00:18:33,937 --> 00:18:35,171
(distorted voice continues)
420
00:18:37,674 --> 00:18:39,959
(gasps)
421
00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:45,097
(grunts)
422
00:18:45,132 --> 00:18:48,017
(siren sounds)
423
00:18:48,051 --> 00:18:49,685
POLICE OFFICER (over speaker):
Put the sapling down
424
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,754
and your hands in the air.
425
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,559
What the hell was she doing?
426
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,461
I'm glad we decided
to finish these burgers
427
00:18:58,495 --> 00:19:01,147
before cheering ourselves up
by pulling out saplings.
428
00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:04,567
I know, those cops really
came out of nowhere.
429
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:14,959
Where have you been?
430
00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:16,869
I mean, I tried calling your cell phone
431
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,638
and some woman named
Big Laquanda answered.
432
00:19:19,656 --> 00:19:21,160
I was in jail.
433
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,826
I had to trade my phone for protection.
434
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,810
Thanks again for bailing me out, guys.
435
00:19:26,042 --> 00:19:27,208
You were in jail?
436
00:19:27,243 --> 00:19:29,193
Relax, I already asked her.
437
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,962
No group strip searches,
438
00:19:30,996 --> 00:19:33,248
no shower fights, and the warden looked
439
00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:35,032
nothing like Shannon Tweed.
440
00:19:35,051 --> 00:19:37,135
Cable television lied to us.
441
00:19:37,169 --> 00:19:38,970
I got arrested for
442
00:19:39,004 --> 00:19:40,455
ripping out trees in the park.
443
00:19:40,489 --> 00:19:41,923
I know that sounds crazy,
444
00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,207
but I was visited by
445
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,560
the Ghost of Arbor Day,
Past, Present and Future.
446
00:19:45,594 --> 00:19:47,479
Oh, I saw Mr. Magoo like that.
447
00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:50,432
He showed me that I was wrong
about Arbor Day. I...
448
00:19:50,483 --> 00:19:52,400
You guys had a special family tradition
449
00:19:52,435 --> 00:19:54,235
that I couldn't see the value in, and...
450
00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:55,553
(sighs)
451
00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:56,571
I ruined it.
452
00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:57,856
No, look,
453
00:19:57,890 --> 00:20:00,158
you were right that it was
stupid to rip out trees.
454
00:20:00,192 --> 00:20:02,327
I mean, if it was okay,
you wouldn't have spent
455
00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:03,278
the night in jail.
456
00:20:03,329 --> 00:20:04,579
It's true.
457
00:20:04,613 --> 00:20:06,281
If you hadn't have done it,
we were about to,
458
00:20:06,332 --> 00:20:07,749
then we would've been in jail.
459
00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,084
With my crappy flip phone,
460
00:20:09,118 --> 00:20:10,952
Big Laquanda would've
had her way with me.
461
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:12,570
Oh, that is hot.
462
00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:14,756
For Big Laquanda, I'm gonna picture
463
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:16,174
a young Tyne Daly.
464
00:20:16,208 --> 00:20:18,376
No, Markie Post. Suzanne Somers.
465
00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:22,063
Serena Williams...
Serena Williams.
466
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:24,866
Treat!
467
00:20:29,872 --> 00:20:31,656
When'd you do that?
468
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,124
Hey, who said it was me?
469
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:35,526
Maybe it was an Arbor Day miracle.
470
00:20:35,544 --> 00:20:36,961
You grew up today, Jimmy.
471
00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:38,997
I'm passing my Arbor Day
costume on to you.
472
00:20:40,249 --> 00:20:42,383
You go, Papa Woody.
473
00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:43,802
Papa Woody...
474
00:20:43,836 --> 00:20:45,670
Oh, now I get it.
475
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:46,805
(laughter) Right?
476
00:20:46,839 --> 00:20:48,372
He's like the dad of the forest.
477
00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:49,707
(sighs)
478
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:52,710
When you form a family of your own,
479
00:20:52,728 --> 00:20:55,180
sometimes old traditions
go through a change.
480
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:58,049
But that doesn't mean
they're not just as special.
481
00:20:58,067 --> 00:21:00,101
In our new Arbor Day tradition,
482
00:21:00,152 --> 00:21:02,437
we planted trees the way Sabrina wanted.
483
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,823
Of course, she didn't have a choice...
484
00:21:04,857 --> 00:21:06,141
but the rest of us did.
485
00:21:06,175 --> 00:21:07,859
And we decided to join her.
486
00:21:07,893 --> 00:21:09,070
And celebrating with Hope
487
00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:11,222
turned out to be my
favorite Arbor Day ever.
488
00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:21,702
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com