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Synced and corrected by Arcinboldi
www.addic7ed.com
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And here is your change.
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Jimmy, Sabrina, I need
your advice on a pickle I'm in.
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No, I don't.
Never mind.
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Wait! Yes,
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I do... I think.
Oh, I don't know.
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Shoot a dart at a fart!
I can't decide anything.
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What's going on?
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Grocery Palooza's coming up.
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It's our annual customer
appreciation event.
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Little known fact: we started it
before Lollapalooza.
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Yeah, I still don't think
they stole it from us.
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Well, then how else do you
explain it? Anyway, the owners
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let me pick the main attraction
from this catalog,
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but they're all so good!
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Two Buckingham Palace Guards
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that also sing
and do balloon animals;
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a horse that can ride a horse;
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or Tila Tequila's brother
Vince Vodka.
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Gimme.
I've had trouble
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making a decision,
ever since that 2007 debacle.
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Everybody showed up
to see that band TOTO...
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Great band!
That song "Africa"
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inspired me to live
in Zaire for five years.
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I do not recommend it.
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And the show we had here
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was also a disappointment.
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Normally, I would swoon to see
Wizard of Oz memorabilia,
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but that has a time
and a place.
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Oh.
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Every June in
Chittenango, New York.
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"This porridge is too hot.
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"This porridge is too cold."
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You know, that Goldilocks'd
sure save us a lot of time
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by complaining less about the
temperature of the porridge,
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and just eating the damn stuff.
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Hmm.
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♪ ♪
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Hey.
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Listen to this.
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"Goldilocks
jumped up from the bed
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and ran out of the house."
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Really? You're telling me
a whole family of bears
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couldn't catch a little girl?
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That's dumb.
This is dumb!
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The bloom is off the rose
with that baby.
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Yeah. Babies are cool,
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till you've done everything
there is to do with them.
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Then you get bored.
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That's why TV shows about babies
never last more than a year.
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One of us needs to talk to him.
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I don't want to talk to him
when he's depressed.
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He does that "almost cry" thing,
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where he wrinkles up his face
and nothing comes out.
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It's your turn to talk to him.
How do you figure?
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I talked to him when he stepped
in dog doo, when he was
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ten years old, and all the kids
called him "Dog Doo-doo Foot."
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And I'm the one that talked to
him when he was the only one
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in ninth grade without hair
under his arms, and they all
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called him "Smooth Pits
McHairlessness III."
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I'm the one that talked to him
when his pants split open
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and his whole break-dance team
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made fun of his
SpongeBob underwear.
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Sadie Hawkins dance,
sophomore year.
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Sadie Hawkins dance, junior year.
Ah...
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Fine. I'll talk to him.
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Hey! You good?
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Pretty good.
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Good.
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I'm listening.
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You get back in there
and stop procras-turbating.
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Fine.
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All right, Jimmy.
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Your mother and I have tried,
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but we can no longer
ignore the fact
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that you're bumming hard
about that baby.
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Yeah, I love Hope.
I do.
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But... she's exhausting,
and frustrating,
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and, to tell you the truth,
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she's really, really boring.
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Oh, I feel like...
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A monster, just saying that.
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Maybe I'm not cut out
to be a dad.
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Look, I know what you're feeling
right now, and it's normal.
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That face you're making
is not normal.
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What you're feeling about Hope:
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all normal.
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It is?
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Oh, sure.
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I was miserable
when you came along.
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I hated you.
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Really?
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You're not just saying that
to make me... feel better?
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No!
I hated you.
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And I hated myself
for hating you.
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And I got so wound up,
I'd start doing weird stuff.
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I started rocking...
like this.
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Didn't even know
I was doing it.
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Thank goodness your mother was
there and kindly pointed it out.
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You are a freak!
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So, how'd you stop rocking?
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Well, that's the cool part.
Get this.
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I started rocking.
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With my guitar!
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Totally mellowed me out.
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So you had an outlet.
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Yeah, when I used
an electric guitar...
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You're missing my point!
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You need to find
a thing of your own.
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Something that makes you happy;
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get you to stop acting
like a freak.
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Thanks, Dad.
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You're welcome, son.
Glad we could have this talk.
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I love you.
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Don't forget, next one's yours.
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Hey, what's all that stuff?
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Oh, well, Dad told me to do
something for myself,
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and I suck at music,
but I don't suck at art.
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So I was drawing on a bag
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at the store,
and Barney was so impressed
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he asked me to do
the poster for Grocery Palooza.
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That's great! You should have
brought the bag home;
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we could have stuck it
on the fridge!
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Wow!
Glad I could help.
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I know. Cool, huh?
Man, being paid to draw.
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You know, maybe I can do this
for a job. Maybe I could be
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a famous artist.
And even if you can't,
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it's cool you got this far.
But maybe I can.
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Probably not.
Okay, well, I'm going to try.
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Suit yourself!
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Whoo...
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"Special super-fantastic
surprise guest."
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Yeah, Barney
couldn't decide who to get.
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He had finally decided on the
Buckingham Palace Guards,
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but they fell through.
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Good! If those guys weren't so
busy making public appearances,
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maybe Princess Di
would still be alive.
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Either way, the poster will be
finished, and that'll be that!
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Actually, a school board
member came in the store
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and saw me working on the poster
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and get this,
they want to hire me
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to paint a mural on the outside
of the high school stadium.
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That's great!
It's about time
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they painted over
that old mural.
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There's got to be a less racist
way to draw an Apache.
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Well, that was delicious!
Thanks!
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Something's going on.
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I cooked that food.
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And it is not delicious.
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What's that?
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Oh, damn it to hell,
he's rocking again. Burt!
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Your rocking set off
the motion light.
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We can see the Burt signal.
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Babe, you haven't rocked
in ages. What is wrong?
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Him. He's what's wrong.
What did I do?
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You took my advice. Now
everybody's talking about you.
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Jimmy!
The guy who draws things,
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on other things.
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You're making something of yourself,
and I never did. But Dad,
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you did. You're a husband,
a father, a grandfather.
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You-you built a business.
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Blah blah blah,
blabbetty blabbetty blabbetty.
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I could have been somebody, too.
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What are you talking about?
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"Blabbetty blabbetty" means "I
don't care what you're saying."
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No. I-I mean about you
being somebody.
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I didn't want to just play
guitar in front of my mirror.
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I wanted to be in a rock band.
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And I could have, too.
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I could have gone on tour
with Smokey Floyd.
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Burt, that was 20 years ago.
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Smokey Floyd.
Wh-why do I know that name?
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"Burning Deep Inside"?
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♪ Doesn't matter what I tried ♪
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♪ I still got that
burning deep inside. ♪
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Aw, yeah!
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That's a hemorrhoid commercial!
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It was a hit song first!
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00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:01,145
And I could have been in his band.
It's true.
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00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,981
They all called your father
the white Stevie Ray Vaughan.
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00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:07,451
We didn't know Stevie Ray
Vaughan was white back then.
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We didn't have a very good TV.
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Smokey came through town.
I had an audition.
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♪ Bang your head... ♪
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Smokey Floyd was in the middle
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00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,061
of his Smoke Gets
in Your Everything tour
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00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:18,495
when he rolled into town.
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00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,431
He had an awesome bus,
killer hair,
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and pants so tight,
he eventually lost a testicle.
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00:07:22,968 --> 00:07:25,369
He was a god,
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00:07:25,437 --> 00:07:28,172
but what he didn't have
was a guitar player,
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so every wannabe rocker
showed up to try out.
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Since your mom had detention
that day, I had you.
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00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,146
First, I got a few rules.
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00:07:36,214 --> 00:07:37,982
Number one... you must be able
196
00:07:38,049 --> 00:07:40,017
to fit into Donnie's
leather pants,
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00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,786
so if you're not a 32-34,
get the hell out of here.
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00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:46,523
Rule two... you must be able
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00:07:46,574 --> 00:07:48,692
to carry 180 pounds
of dead weight
200
00:07:48,743 --> 00:07:50,761
to the nearest hospital.
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00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:52,029
Damn it!
202
00:07:54,165 --> 00:07:56,967
Rule number three... you must be
willing to shave your body
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00:07:57,035 --> 00:07:59,370
from the neck down,
'cause when you're on tour,
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00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,706
one dude gets crabs,
we all get crabs.
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00:08:06,411 --> 00:08:08,212
All right.
206
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,930
Strap on your axes.
207
00:08:10,015 --> 00:08:11,214
Let's see which
one of you is...
208
00:08:12,484 --> 00:08:14,418
Smoke worthy.
209
00:08:16,988 --> 00:08:17,955
Is that a baby?
210
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,660
Who brought a baby?!
211
00:08:22,727 --> 00:08:24,078
♪ Bang your head... ♪
212
00:08:24,162 --> 00:08:27,197
There's no babies in
rock and roll, man.
213
00:08:27,265 --> 00:08:30,501
What kind of idiot
brings a baby?!
214
00:08:30,568 --> 00:08:31,669
Oh. It was my fault?
215
00:08:31,736 --> 00:08:33,037
Short answer... yes.
216
00:08:33,104 --> 00:08:34,438
Burt, are you out of your mind?
217
00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:35,572
He was just a baby.
218
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,507
Mom, it's okay.
219
00:08:36,574 --> 00:08:37,875
No, your mom's right.
220
00:08:37,942 --> 00:08:39,076
You're doing great things,
221
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,244
and here I am thinking
only of myself.
222
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,479
Look, my life is fine.
223
00:08:42,547 --> 00:08:44,715
I don't need
to be a famous musician.
224
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:46,483
Just would have been nice
to be known
225
00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:48,218
for something other
than being the pool guy.
226
00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:49,553
You are more
than just a pool guy.
227
00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:50,788
You're a husband,
228
00:08:50,855 --> 00:08:51,955
a father, a grandfather...
229
00:08:52,023 --> 00:08:54,825
Blah blah blah,
blabbetty blabbetty.
230
00:08:56,294 --> 00:08:58,495
Wait a second. What was
that guy's name again?
231
00:08:58,563 --> 00:08:59,730
Smokey Floyd?
232
00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:00,497
Yeah.
233
00:09:06,071 --> 00:09:07,104
Miss.
234
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,074
Aah!
235
00:09:10,141 --> 00:09:12,242
Miss, but you did land
in between the girl
236
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:14,178
that used to play Kimmy
Gibbler on Full House
237
00:09:14,245 --> 00:09:15,979
and the dog that
barks the alphabet.
238
00:09:16,047 --> 00:09:17,414
Oh, damn it!
239
00:09:17,482 --> 00:09:20,918
This is turning out to be harder
than just picking one.
240
00:09:20,985 --> 00:09:21,985
Geez.
241
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:25,789
Barney. Oh.
I think I've got your act.
242
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,225
Ah, da-da, da-da, da.
243
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,810
Yes.
244
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:34,765
♪ ♪
245
00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:39,236
This is Smokey. Talk.
246
00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:41,839
Lollapalooza?
247
00:09:41,906 --> 00:09:43,774
No, no, no.
Grocery Palooza.
248
00:09:43,842 --> 00:09:45,976
Yup, yup,
it's just like Lollapalooza,
249
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,711
but with groceries
instead of, um... Lollas.
250
00:09:47,779 --> 00:09:49,613
But we were first.
251
00:09:49,681 --> 00:09:50,998
When is it?
252
00:09:51,082 --> 00:09:52,549
Uh, Saturday night.
I know it's short notice,
253
00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:53,650
and you're probably busy, but
254
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,885
we'd really appreciate it.
255
00:09:54,953 --> 00:09:56,887
I'm gonna check my calendar.
256
00:09:56,955 --> 00:09:57,855
He's checking
his calendar. Okay.
257
00:10:03,595 --> 00:10:06,497
I'm gonna need a sweet dressing
room, bottled water
258
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,732
and brand-name
chewable fiber pills.
259
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,933
He's in.
Ah! Yes!
260
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:11,001
Thank you so...
261
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,503
Thank you so much, Mr. Floyd.
262
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,671
We are thrilled to have you.
263
00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:17,307
Why, yes, we do have
lots of hot chicks around here.
264
00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,676
I'm looking at one right now.
265
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,712
Well, I-I-I've never,
uh, noticed.
266
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,247
Uh, Sabrina, could you hop down
267
00:10:23,314 --> 00:10:24,815
and, uh,
turn around for a second?
268
00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:25,749
No.
269
00:10:25,817 --> 00:10:26,750
I seem to recall
270
00:10:26,818 --> 00:10:28,118
it's pretty firm.
271
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:38,586
Dude, I'm sorry the cream
272
00:10:38,653 --> 00:10:39,920
didn't work for your buttage,
273
00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:41,822
but I don't make the stuff,
all right?
274
00:10:41,873 --> 00:10:44,291
If your burning is as deep
inside as you say it is,
275
00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:45,392
I'd get to a doctor.
276
00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:48,195
Uh, Smokey Floyd?
277
00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:49,246
Settle down.
278
00:10:55,370 --> 00:10:57,338
Now you're smokin'.
279
00:11:00,842 --> 00:11:02,943
So, uh, what do
you want for breakfast?
280
00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:05,062
We have like
281
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:06,447
six types of cereal.
282
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:07,715
Ooh, and, uh,
283
00:11:07,782 --> 00:11:09,984
you can have the big bowl, too.
284
00:11:10,051 --> 00:11:12,019
Me and my dad usually
fight over that.
285
00:11:12,087 --> 00:11:13,787
So what's the lineup?
286
00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:15,523
Am I opening or closing?
287
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,440
Both, actually.
288
00:11:18,026 --> 00:11:18,959
Huh.
289
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:20,594
So you have your own silverware.
290
00:11:20,662 --> 00:11:21,862
You have to.
291
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:23,397
Putting things in your mouth
292
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,798
that were in
other people's mouths,
293
00:11:24,866 --> 00:11:26,433
no matter how you wash it,
it's nasty.
294
00:11:28,603 --> 00:11:30,838
You don't put the bowl
up to your mouth, do you?
295
00:11:30,906 --> 00:11:32,973
Ooh, uh, no.
296
00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:34,741
You're lying.
297
00:11:34,793 --> 00:11:36,810
Nuke this for 40 seconds.
298
00:11:38,046 --> 00:11:40,347
So it's a grocery store, right?
299
00:11:40,415 --> 00:11:41,916
What, like a big
parking lot thing?
300
00:11:41,983 --> 00:11:43,150
Uh, the produce section.
301
00:11:43,218 --> 00:11:44,351
Who's backing me up?
302
00:11:44,419 --> 00:11:46,136
A bunch of local hotshots?
303
00:11:46,221 --> 00:11:47,521
Uh, just a guitar player.
304
00:11:47,589 --> 00:11:49,190
But he's one of the best around.
305
00:11:49,257 --> 00:11:50,524
Very polished and professional.
306
00:11:57,966 --> 00:11:59,500
Excuse me.
307
00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:02,903
What the hell is going on?
308
00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:05,122
Smokey Floyd is in my kitchen!
309
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,707
Smokey Floyd is in our kitchen.
310
00:12:06,775 --> 00:12:09,210
And guess what? He's going
to be playing Grocery Palooza.
311
00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,644
Oh, my God!
312
00:12:10,712 --> 00:12:12,213
Wait. It gets better.
313
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,247
You're going to be playing
with him.
314
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,798
Shut the front door!
315
00:12:14,883 --> 00:12:16,617
No, seriously, shut the front
door. I'm freaking out.
316
00:12:16,685 --> 00:12:17,968
I don't want him to hear me.
317
00:12:19,588 --> 00:12:22,223
Dad, I might have
cost you your chance
318
00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:24,291
to play guitar with your
hero a long time ago,
319
00:12:24,342 --> 00:12:26,994
but I got it back for you.
And after today,
320
00:12:27,062 --> 00:12:30,331
no one in this town will ever think of
you as just being the pool guy anymore.
321
00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,102
I love you so much, son.
322
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,671
I love you too, Dad, but can
we just say it from now on?
323
00:12:37,739 --> 00:12:39,473
I'm not making any promises.
324
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:40,541
Take off your pants.
325
00:12:45,113 --> 00:12:47,047
Oh, my God.
326
00:12:48,116 --> 00:12:49,016
It's you...
327
00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:50,417
Take some breaths, sweetheart.
328
00:12:51,753 --> 00:12:53,520
The shock will fade.
329
00:12:53,588 --> 00:12:57,324
But luckily, the memory
will last forever.
330
00:13:01,529 --> 00:13:03,163
Smokey Floyd.
331
00:13:04,332 --> 00:13:06,550
In my kitchen.
332
00:13:06,635 --> 00:13:07,835
Hey, that's a nice spoon.
333
00:13:07,902 --> 00:13:09,103
Where'd you get that spoon?
334
00:13:10,105 --> 00:13:13,057
Hey, what's up, Smoke?
335
00:13:13,141 --> 00:13:15,442
Burt Chance.
336
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,244
I almost auditioned
for you 20 years ago
337
00:13:17,312 --> 00:13:18,479
when Donnie died.
338
00:13:18,546 --> 00:13:19,913
Donnie didn't die.
339
00:13:19,981 --> 00:13:21,982
He just got too fat
for his leather pants.
340
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:24,285
He's a court reporter
up in Fresno now.
341
00:13:24,352 --> 00:13:25,719
Weighs like 300 pounds.
342
00:13:25,787 --> 00:13:27,121
We're Facebook friends.
343
00:13:27,188 --> 00:13:28,522
That's a thing I have
on my computer.
344
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,658
Anyway, I am a huge fan,
345
00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:33,627
and I'm going to be
backing you up tonight.
346
00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,365
And if you don't mind,
347
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:40,601
we kind of have assigned seats
around here for breakfast. So...
348
00:13:55,717 --> 00:13:57,818
He's eating the same
cereal I pick.
349
00:14:14,869 --> 00:14:16,970
Smokin'...
350
00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:20,290
You're welcome.
351
00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:24,745
Ah, yes.
352
00:14:24,813 --> 00:14:26,347
I see your future very clearly.
353
00:14:26,414 --> 00:14:28,799
You're gonna save 50 cents
on a 12 pack of English muffins.
354
00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:34,988
You're gonna die
in a plane crash.
355
00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:38,726
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
356
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:41,145
You're gonna save 50 cents
on a 12 pack of English muffins.
357
00:14:42,897 --> 00:14:43,797
Hey, where's Dad?
358
00:14:43,865 --> 00:14:45,399
Oh, he's around here somewhere.
359
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,950
I better go make sure
he's getting ready.
360
00:14:47,035 --> 00:14:48,285
Can you watch Hope?
Hmm.
361
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:50,070
Hey, great job with the store.
362
00:14:50,121 --> 00:14:53,474
And I am loving
these free cupcakes.
363
00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:54,775
Those are six dollars a box.
364
00:15:06,221 --> 00:15:08,522
Uh, Dad?
365
00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:10,858
Hey, man, what are you
doing in here?
366
00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:12,226
Go away, please.
367
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,294
But it's almost time for the...
Just go away.
368
00:15:14,362 --> 00:15:16,730
Well, will you at least
just look at me? I can't.
369
00:15:16,798 --> 00:15:18,632
My head is stuck on this shelf.
370
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,769
I felt like I needed to rock,
and I didn't want anyone to see.
371
00:15:21,836 --> 00:15:24,104
I was sweating, and I
rocked under this shelf
372
00:15:24,172 --> 00:15:25,572
and my head got stuck.
373
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,408
Here, let me just help...
Don't touch it!
374
00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:28,909
I got it. I'm fine.
375
00:15:31,346 --> 00:15:33,547
Oh!
376
00:15:33,615 --> 00:15:35,516
Why were you rocking?
Are you mad at me again?
377
00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:36,650
No.
378
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:37,684
I got nervous.
379
00:15:37,752 --> 00:15:39,052
I can't go on stage, Jimmy.
380
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,220
You've got to go on.
381
00:15:40,288 --> 00:15:41,255
What if I suck?
382
00:15:41,322 --> 00:15:42,623
But you won't suck.
383
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,024
But what if I do?
384
00:15:44,092 --> 00:15:45,659
Jimmy, I spent 20 years
385
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:47,661
blaming you for me
not being a rock star.
386
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,097
If I go suck on
stage, it's just...
387
00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:52,366
I got nobody to
blame but myself.
388
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:53,934
I get that. I do.
389
00:15:54,002 --> 00:15:55,502
But you also spent 20 years
390
00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:58,038
being known as
a yard and pool guy.
391
00:15:58,106 --> 00:15:59,673
And I think I remember
you saying you wanted
392
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,375
to be known for something more.
393
00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:03,377
You can do this, Dad.
394
00:16:03,445 --> 00:16:04,745
I know you can.
395
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,880
And if you don't,
I'll still love you,
396
00:16:06,948 --> 00:16:08,715
but you got to try.
397
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:14,655
Do not kiss me on the lips.
398
00:16:14,722 --> 00:16:17,958
Then stop saying stuff
that makes me want to.
399
00:16:21,028 --> 00:16:22,362
All right, everybody...
400
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:26,032
When I say "Grocery,"
you say "Palooza."
401
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,768
Grocery...
402
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:33,173
Okay, now how about a big
Grocery Palooza welcome
403
00:16:33,241 --> 00:16:34,675
for Smokey Floyd
404
00:16:34,742 --> 00:16:36,260
and the Smokey Floyd Band!
405
00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:46,770
Thanks, Kenny.
406
00:16:46,855 --> 00:16:48,355
It-it's Barney.
407
00:16:50,224 --> 00:16:51,692
Hello, Natesville.
408
00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:54,061
Whoo! Smokey Floyd.
409
00:16:54,128 --> 00:16:55,796
And I'm the Smokey Floyd Band.
410
00:16:55,864 --> 00:16:56,697
Ow!
411
00:16:57,966 --> 00:17:00,868
One, two, one, two,
three, four...
412
00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,286
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
413
00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:04,204
Could you just grab me
two tomatoes there, please?
414
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:05,589
No, no, no, no.
415
00:17:05,673 --> 00:17:06,573
Not those. Those.
416
00:17:06,641 --> 00:17:08,258
Mm-hmm.
417
00:17:08,343 --> 00:17:09,510
Oh, no, baby, this one
is mushy.
418
00:17:11,279 --> 00:17:12,579
Thank you, baby.
419
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:13,480
We all set?
420
00:17:14,682 --> 00:17:16,116
One, two,
421
00:17:16,184 --> 00:17:17,718
one, two, three, four.
422
00:17:31,699 --> 00:17:35,469
♪ I've got a burnin'
deep inside ♪
423
00:17:37,405 --> 00:17:41,542
♪ After all these tears
I've cried ♪
424
00:17:44,145 --> 00:17:46,613
♪ Doesn't matter
what I've got... ♪
425
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:49,883
A baby?
426
00:17:49,951 --> 00:17:50,751
A baby.
427
00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:52,352
What kind of idiot
428
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:54,788
brings a baby
to a rock concert, man?
429
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:57,291
I'm sorry.
She loves the music.
430
00:17:57,358 --> 00:17:58,258
Good for her, man.
431
00:17:58,309 --> 00:18:00,460
Good... for her!
432
00:18:00,528 --> 00:18:01,628
Think.
433
00:18:01,696 --> 00:18:02,896
You think babies
and rock and roll
434
00:18:02,964 --> 00:18:04,298
music mix?
435
00:18:04,365 --> 00:18:06,633
You see a lot of babies on MTV?
436
00:18:06,684 --> 00:18:09,236
Actually, there's that show,
16 and Pregnant.
437
00:18:09,303 --> 00:18:11,104
And Teen Mom.
I saw an episode of True Life
438
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:12,239
called "I've Got
Baby Mama Drama."
439
00:18:13,508 --> 00:18:14,324
She's good.
440
00:18:14,409 --> 00:18:15,709
Hey!
441
00:18:15,777 --> 00:18:18,111
Who put my autographed melon
back on the shelf?
442
00:18:18,179 --> 00:18:19,980
You guys have any idea
who I am?
443
00:18:20,031 --> 00:18:22,149
Would you just play the song, please?
444
00:18:22,216 --> 00:18:24,418
Just play the song, please.
445
00:18:24,485 --> 00:18:27,321
No, you don't tell me
how to do my job, sister.
446
00:18:27,388 --> 00:18:29,389
I don't tell you how
to bring a trucker
447
00:18:29,457 --> 00:18:32,158
a tuna melt at whatever greasy
spoon you probably work at.
448
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:33,460
I am not a waitress.
449
00:18:33,528 --> 00:18:34,678
I'm a maid.
450
00:18:34,762 --> 00:18:36,013
She tried
451
00:18:36,097 --> 00:18:38,065
waiting tables, but she couldn't
add up the math.
452
00:18:38,132 --> 00:18:40,033
Well, why are you telling him
that? Don't tell him that.
453
00:18:40,101 --> 00:18:41,401
Great. So I'm performing
454
00:18:41,469 --> 00:18:43,837
for a bunch of idiots
who can't even add!
455
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,105
I can add.
456
00:18:45,173 --> 00:18:48,008
Just have a little trouble
with percents. Thanks.
457
00:18:48,076 --> 00:18:49,843
Here we go again
458
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,111
with the baby.
459
00:18:51,178 --> 00:18:52,980
You people realize how
460
00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,281
beneath me this whole thing is?
461
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:56,516
Playing some produce section
462
00:18:56,584 --> 00:18:58,051
with some schmuck
463
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,387
who skims pools for a living?
464
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:02,706
I'm Smokey Floyd, people.
465
00:19:02,790 --> 00:19:04,858
Smokey "The Doctor of Rock"
466
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,460
frickin' Floyd.
467
00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:15,936
Why don't you
smoke on that, jerk?
468
00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:27,748
♪ Metal health will
drive you mad ♪
469
00:19:27,815 --> 00:19:30,450
♪ Bang your head... ♪
470
00:19:34,653 --> 00:19:36,220
Look at you.
471
00:19:36,288 --> 00:19:38,655
Now, we're almost at the end,
and you're still up.
472
00:19:38,707 --> 00:19:40,424
Somebody likes
the picture book Daddy made.
473
00:19:40,492 --> 00:19:42,226
And when the mean dragon
474
00:19:42,294 --> 00:19:44,094
flew in from out of town
475
00:19:44,162 --> 00:19:46,797
and attacked
the Village Market Palooza,
476
00:19:46,865 --> 00:19:48,165
Brave Burthew
477
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:49,867
took his magic guitar,
478
00:19:49,935 --> 00:19:51,502
turned it into an ax,
479
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:53,270
and took the dragon down.
480
00:19:53,338 --> 00:19:55,906
And the people were saved.
481
00:19:55,974 --> 00:19:57,474
"Ah! Yeah!"
482
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,777
And all the village
was talking about Burthew.
483
00:19:59,845 --> 00:20:01,445
Smokey Floyd had only one hit.
484
00:20:01,513 --> 00:20:03,147
It was called "Burning Pain,"
485
00:20:03,215 --> 00:20:06,317
and for some concertgoers,
that's exactly what he was.
486
00:20:06,384 --> 00:20:08,319
Good for her, man.
487
00:20:08,370 --> 00:20:10,905
Good... for her.
488
00:20:10,989 --> 00:20:12,623
But the tables were turned
489
00:20:12,691 --> 00:20:14,625
as musician
and local business owner
490
00:20:14,693 --> 00:20:17,061
Burt Chance became
a guitar hero.
491
00:20:20,599 --> 00:20:23,133
And songs were made
in his honor.
492
00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:24,902
♪ Tuna melt ♪
♪ Tuna melt... ♪
493
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:27,470
I don't know who did it,
but it's got 22,000 hits.
494
00:20:53,566 --> 00:20:57,766
Burthew also discovered he wasn't the only
one in the neighorhood with hidden talents.
495
00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:02,941
Hey man!
496
00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:06,275
- Aren't you the *** dude?
- Rock on, dude!
497
00:21:08,186 --> 00:21:10,006
Smoke on that, jerk!
498
00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:16,707
He was Burthew the grass-cutter,
499
00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:24,365
who slayed a dragon;
and he lived happily ever after.
500
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,500
Synced and corrected by Arcinboldi
www.addic7ed.com