1
00:00:00,991 --> 00:00:06,239
<i>Synced By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com</i>

2
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:17,230
Where do you despire last night?

3
00:00:17,678 --> 00:00:21,334
<i>After the party ****</i>

4
00:00:21,634 --> 00:00:23,868
- It didn't go well.
- Did you see that kooky chick

5
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,169
that I was carrying around
on my shoulders?

6
00:00:25,237 --> 00:00:27,105
Yeah.

7
00:00:27,172 --> 00:00:28,273
I left with her.

8
00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:30,908
She convinced me
to get a tattoo.

9
00:00:30,976 --> 00:00:32,410
Oh, that is awesome.

10
00:00:32,478 --> 00:00:34,178
I want one.

11
00:00:36,315 --> 00:00:37,649
Oh! Why does
he think

12
00:00:37,716 --> 00:00:39,083
that's so funny?

13
00:00:39,151 --> 00:00:41,552
All right, this
is our job!

14
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:42,854
Jimmy, he's the boss, man.

15
00:00:42,921 --> 00:00:45,390
You think I like it when
he pushes me in the bushes

16
00:00:45,457 --> 00:00:46,924
when I'm taking
a leak? I don't.

17
00:00:46,992 --> 00:00:48,026
The thorns hurt
my wiener.

18
00:00:48,093 --> 00:00:49,294
But this is
the career path

19
00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:52,196
that we've chosen.

20
00:00:58,237 --> 00:01:00,138
Hey, where you going?

21
00:01:00,205 --> 00:01:01,306
I quit.

22
00:01:01,373 --> 00:01:02,440
Come on!

23
00:01:02,508 --> 00:01:04,776
You can't walk out mid-skim.

24
00:01:04,843 --> 00:01:07,578
You have any idea
how unprofessional that is?

25
00:01:31,570 --> 00:01:33,771
Keep your skirt on.

26
00:01:33,839 --> 00:01:36,007
Hey, Mom.

27
00:01:36,075 --> 00:01:37,942
What are you doing home?

28
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,844
I quit. There's
got to be more to life

29
00:01:39,912 --> 00:01:41,446
than cleaning the same pool
over and over.

30
00:01:41,513 --> 00:01:43,047
There isn't.

31
00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:47,985
What the devil are you
ladies in such a hurry for?

32
00:01:48,053 --> 00:01:50,688
You know we're going
to scrub toilets, right?

33
00:01:56,095 --> 00:01:59,397
Oh, you forgot your shirt
again, Great-Maw Maw.

34
00:01:59,465 --> 00:02:01,733
Neh...!

35
00:02:55,854 --> 00:02:57,388
Your father's home.
Come eat.

36
00:03:01,126 --> 00:03:02,627
Dad.

37
00:03:02,694 --> 00:03:04,061
Jimmy.

38
00:03:04,129 --> 00:03:05,630
Your cousin Mike

39
00:03:05,697 --> 00:03:07,765
and I could've
used you today.

40
00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:10,134
There was a dead bird
in the Wexler's pool filter.

41
00:03:10,202 --> 00:03:11,903
Well, maybe you shouldn't
have pissed off the guy

42
00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,337
who's not afraid to
touch a dead bird.

43
00:03:13,405 --> 00:03:15,006
Oh, we got it out.

44
00:03:15,073 --> 00:03:17,341
Used a stick and an
old candy bar wrapper.

45
00:03:17,409 --> 00:03:19,710
Took a few tries,
but we got it out.

46
00:03:19,778 --> 00:03:21,045
So...

47
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,513
how's your
philostrophical journey

48
00:03:22,581 --> 00:03:24,248
for the meaning
of life going?

49
00:03:24,316 --> 00:03:25,550
I'm working on it.

50
00:03:25,617 --> 00:03:27,518
Didn't exactly figure out
my purpose in life yet,

51
00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:30,354
but if I ever record an album,
I'm pretty sure I've got my cover.

52
00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:31,556
How was work, Wilford?

53
00:03:31,623 --> 00:03:33,524
Did you sell
any encyclopedias today?

54
00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:36,327
Why does she always pick me
to be her dead husband?

55
00:03:36,395 --> 00:03:38,095
<i>Maybe that's your purpose.</i>

56
00:03:38,163 --> 00:03:39,630
Just play along-
memories are all

57
00:03:39,698 --> 00:03:40,798
your great-grandmother
has left.

58
00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:43,301
Whoa!

59
00:03:43,368 --> 00:03:44,001
Okay.

60
00:03:44,069 --> 00:03:45,169
Okay, okay.

61
00:03:45,237 --> 00:03:46,103
Okay.

62
00:03:46,171 --> 00:03:47,138
Okay, Maw Maw.

63
00:03:48,974 --> 00:03:51,442
Why don't you go see if
Lawrence Welk is on the TV, Ooh.

64
00:03:51,510 --> 00:03:52,977
and I'll bring you
your treat.

65
00:03:53,045 --> 00:03:54,212
Ooh, good.
Okay.

66
00:03:54,279 --> 00:03:56,280
Really good.

67
00:03:58,016 --> 00:03:59,617
Doggone it!

68
00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:01,819
We're out of
bubble gum ice cream.

69
00:04:09,394 --> 00:04:11,062
Oh, man, that's not fair.

70
00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:14,765
I was washing Maw Maw
out of my mouth.

71
00:04:21,507 --> 00:04:23,541
Help!

72
00:04:27,412 --> 00:04:29,680
Drive! Drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive!

73
00:04:29,748 --> 00:04:31,048
Who is that guy?

74
00:04:32,751 --> 00:04:33,751
What's happening?

75
00:04:33,819 --> 00:04:35,319
Nice try, jerk!

76
00:04:35,387 --> 00:04:38,189
What's going on? Hello?
Uh, what's...

77
00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:39,257
what's hap...

78
00:04:39,324 --> 00:04:40,925
Oh, my God!

79
00:04:40,993 --> 00:04:42,393
This is so crazy!

80
00:04:42,461 --> 00:04:44,061
You've just,
like, saved my life.

81
00:04:44,129 --> 00:04:45,029
Really? I... What?

82
00:04:45,097 --> 00:04:46,364
You totally just saved my life.

83
00:04:46,431 --> 00:04:48,132
Wow!

84
00:04:53,505 --> 00:04:55,573
You're, like, a hero!

85
00:04:55,641 --> 00:04:57,208
And you're cute.

86
00:04:57,276 --> 00:04:58,409
Really?

87
00:04:58,477 --> 00:05:00,378
Yeah, you saved my life
and you're cute.

88
00:05:00,445 --> 00:05:02,346
Well, this is fantastic.

89
00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:29,640
Mahmoda...

90
00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:31,509
Ahmamamama.

91
00:05:31,577 --> 00:05:33,611
Mahmoda...

92
00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:35,513
Mahmahamana. Hey, here's the hero.

93
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:37,281
That's me.

94
00:05:37,349 --> 00:05:39,083
Pull up a chair,
sleepy head.

95
00:05:39,151 --> 00:05:41,018
Your new friend's been
explaining the news to us.

96
00:05:41,086 --> 00:05:42,286
She can even pronounce

97
00:05:42,354 --> 00:05:44,255
that nutty Iran guy's name.
Say it again.

98
00:05:44,323 --> 00:05:46,090
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

99
00:05:47,893 --> 00:05:50,161
Uh, Virginia, do you mind
if I use the bathroom?

100
00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:51,596
Last door on the left, hon.

101
00:05:51,663 --> 00:05:52,830
And if you're
doing big business,

102
00:05:52,898 --> 00:05:54,498
you got to flush twice.

103
00:05:54,566 --> 00:05:56,400
And don't be running the sink
during the second flush,

104
00:05:56,468 --> 00:05:58,336
or you're gonna have to give it
a third go-round.

105
00:05:58,403 --> 00:05:59,971
Okay, got it.

106
00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:01,872
Be right back.

107
00:06:09,348 --> 00:06:10,781
Say it again!

108
00:06:10,849 --> 00:06:12,583
Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad!

109
00:06:12,651 --> 00:06:14,318
I like her, Jimmy.

110
00:06:14,386 --> 00:06:16,053
She thought
I was your sister.

111
00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:18,789
You could be her sister, you
sweet little young thing.

112
00:06:18,857 --> 00:06:21,759
I told you getting pregnant
at 15 would pay off eventually.

113
00:06:21,827 --> 00:06:22,994
Yeah.

114
00:06:23,061 --> 00:06:24,462
She's pretty great, right?
Here I was,

115
00:06:24,529 --> 00:06:26,364
trying to figure out
what life was all about,

116
00:06:26,431 --> 00:06:28,265
and I think
I've found it- love.

117
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,334
I think I might be in love.

118
00:06:30,402 --> 00:06:31,502
Anybody happen
to catch her name?

119
00:06:32,704 --> 00:06:35,106
Name's Lucy.

120
00:06:35,173 --> 00:06:36,807
This morning police are
searching for this woman,

121
00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:39,710
Lucy Carlyle, AKA Joan Doyle,

122
00:06:39,778 --> 00:06:41,479
AKA Selma Rydesdale.

123
00:06:41,546 --> 00:06:44,849
Carlyle is wanted for murder
in multiple cases.

124
00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:46,550
She kills her boyfriends-
two so far.

125
00:06:46,618 --> 00:06:49,320
We've been trying to catch her,
but she keeps

126
00:06:49,388 --> 00:06:50,655
changing her name

127
00:06:50,722 --> 00:06:52,056
She's tricky.

128
00:06:52,124 --> 00:06:54,191
She tried to choke me
with a pair of shoelaces.

129
00:06:54,259 --> 00:06:56,293
She was screaming something
about how I forgot her birthday.

130
00:06:56,361 --> 00:06:57,895
I chased her for a few blocks,

131
00:06:57,963 --> 00:07:00,097
but then she jumped into a van
with some guy.

132
00:07:00,165 --> 00:07:01,265
Good luck, dude.

133
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,833
Her birthday's May 12.

134
00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:04,402
I'd buy a card now.

135
00:07:05,971 --> 00:07:07,371
Anyone with
information regarding

136
00:07:07,439 --> 00:07:08,906
the whereabouts of Lucy Carlyle

137
00:07:08,974 --> 00:07:11,342
should contact
police immediately.

138
00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:13,744
And remember,
she may look sweet,

139
00:07:13,812 --> 00:07:17,281
but she is extremely dangerous.

140
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,950
And in lighter news,
a small-time crook with

141
00:07:20,018 --> 00:07:22,019
a long list of wrongs
he was making amends for

142
00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:23,220
has finally finished,

143
00:07:23,288 --> 00:07:26,757
and you'll never guess
how it ended.

144
00:07:30,862 --> 00:07:32,129
Call the police.

145
00:07:38,804 --> 00:07:40,104
Your girlfriend's
pretty clever.

146
00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:42,306
For her last meal,
she asked for a McRib

147
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,008
and a shamrock shake.

148
00:07:44,076 --> 00:07:46,077
That should buy her
a few months.

149
00:07:46,144 --> 00:07:49,080
Those two are almost never
available at the same limited time.

150
00:07:49,147 --> 00:07:50,414
She's not my girlfriend.

151
00:07:52,317 --> 00:07:53,517
Hey, sweetie.

152
00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:54,185
Hey.

153
00:07:54,252 --> 00:07:54,985
Miss me?

154
00:07:55,053 --> 00:07:56,353
Um, yeah, yeah, sure.

155
00:07:56,421 --> 00:07:58,222
Is that what you needed
to talk about?

156
00:07:59,891 --> 00:08:01,459
What are you doing?

157
00:08:01,526 --> 00:08:03,094
She gets an hour a day
to exercise.

158
00:08:03,161 --> 00:08:04,295
An hour?

159
00:08:04,362 --> 00:08:05,830
You should check
with the warden.

160
00:08:05,897 --> 00:08:08,599
I get an hour and a half-
an hour for me,

161
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:11,068
and a half hour for
me and Jimmy's baby.

162
00:08:12,771 --> 00:08:14,772
I don't expect
anything from you.

163
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,742
I just thought you should
know you're gonna be a dad.

164
00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:19,443
And you know what
the best part is?

165
00:08:19,511 --> 00:08:21,679
I'm supposed to get the electric
chair in seven months.

166
00:08:21,747 --> 00:08:23,814
That was before they
knew I was pregnant.

167
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,316
There's no way
they're gonna kill

168
00:08:25,383 --> 00:08:26,884
the mother of
a six-month-old baby.

169
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,715
What's its name?

170
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:46,150
She named it
Princess Beyoncé,

171
00:08:46,217 --> 00:08:48,118
but I think I
might change that.

172
00:08:48,186 --> 00:08:50,521
Don't you dare-
that name's badass.

173
00:08:51,723 --> 00:08:53,190
A baby?

174
00:08:53,258 --> 00:08:54,625
Good Lord!

175
00:08:54,692 --> 00:08:57,227
Well, you can safe-drop it
at the fire station.

176
00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:59,229
Only make sure you
hand it to someone.

177
00:08:59,297 --> 00:09:01,465
You can't just throw it
in the bin out front.

178
00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:03,233
I think that's for
canned goods and puppies.

179
00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:05,035
I'm not taking her
to the fire station.

180
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:06,737
Yeah, we don't have time
for that- we got

181
00:09:06,805 --> 00:09:08,138
a rave tonight
we got to get ready for.

182
00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:09,673
I can't go to a rave.

183
00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:11,341
You have to go-
you're my ride.

184
00:09:11,409 --> 00:09:13,677
If I take my bike,
my pants'll get all wrinkled,

185
00:09:13,745 --> 00:09:15,746
and then all this ironing
will be for naught.

186
00:09:15,814 --> 00:09:17,815
Look, guys,
I'm keeping this baby,

187
00:09:17,882 --> 00:09:19,450
and I'd appreciate
a little support.

188
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,518
Get that dog off my couch!

189
00:09:22,787 --> 00:09:25,055
You can't keep it, Jimmy!

190
00:09:25,123 --> 00:09:28,625
A baby will dramastically
change your life.

191
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,893
What are you
gonna feed it?

192
00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:31,428
Do you even have
clothes for it?

193
00:09:31,496 --> 00:09:33,130
I'll bet you don't
even know where to go

194
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,399
to get reasonably
priced portraits.

195
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,203
I'll figure all this stuff out-
I just got her,

196
00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:40,471
like, an hour ago.

197
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:41,972
How'd you even get it home?

198
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,540
You don't have a special seat.

199
00:09:43,608 --> 00:09:45,509
I put her in the beanbag
in the back of the van,

200
00:09:45,577 --> 00:09:46,543
and I drove real slow.

201
00:09:46,611 --> 00:09:48,178
Oh.

202
00:09:48,246 --> 00:09:49,713
Okay.
Jimmy,

203
00:09:49,781 --> 00:09:53,283
what if we took the baby with us
to the rave, okay? Check it out.

204
00:09:53,351 --> 00:09:55,619
We'll give her a giant lollipop
and tell everyone she's a munchkin.

205
00:09:55,687 --> 00:09:57,321
No.
Oh, come on, man!

206
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,857
She just got out of prison-
let her have some fun.

207
00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:01,325
Look, I'm gonna
get one of those

208
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,626
special seats for her.

209
00:10:02,694 --> 00:10:04,094
I'm gonna get her
lots of baby things.

210
00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:06,196
With what money? I'll
trade my stuff for it.

211
00:10:06,264 --> 00:10:08,132
The pawnshop's full
of baby junk- and my old crib

212
00:10:08,199 --> 00:10:09,466
is in the garage.

213
00:10:09,534 --> 00:10:11,034
Just keep an eye on her
till I get back.

214
00:10:11,102 --> 00:10:12,469
You're not leaving
that baby here.

215
00:10:12,537 --> 00:10:14,538
I have to.
I'm not driving with her again

216
00:10:14,606 --> 00:10:15,639
until I get
the special seat.

217
00:10:15,707 --> 00:10:16,907
Even driving slow,

218
00:10:16,975 --> 00:10:19,042
that beanbag slid around
a lot on turns.

219
00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:21,812
We're not helping you
with this, Jimmy!

220
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,148
That's the only way you're gonna
realize it's a stupid idea

221
00:10:24,215 --> 00:10:26,116
and go drop it
at the fire station.

222
00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:28,619
Wanna go see
the fire trucks, pumpkin?

223
00:10:28,686 --> 00:10:30,621
Hmm?

224
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,141
Hey, is that one of our carts?

225
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:53,477
Oh. No, i-it's my family's cart.

226
00:10:53,545 --> 00:10:55,979
Uh, it's been our backyard
since I was three.

227
00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:57,881
Yeah, right, come on,
just give it back.

228
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,117
I'm not lying, all right?
It's ours.

229
00:11:00,185 --> 00:11:02,686
Uh, when it's nice out, we put it
over a fire and use it as a grill.

230
00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:03,820
See? Look.

231
00:11:03,888 --> 00:11:05,355
There's a little cheese left.

232
00:11:08,092 --> 00:11:10,294
Why is there a baby in there?
Oh, uh,

233
00:11:10,361 --> 00:11:12,696
I don't have a regular
baby pusher thing yet.

234
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:15,432
So, we're headed to
the pawnshop right now.

235
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,001
Sir... whose baby is that?

236
00:11:18,069 --> 00:11:19,770
Mine. Uh, her name
is Princess Beyoncé,

237
00:11:19,837 --> 00:11:20,938
but I'm thinking
of changing that.

238
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:23,574
Oh. Heh.

239
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,276
See, I don't
have a bottle yet.

240
00:11:26,344 --> 00:11:27,978
I just got her a few hours ago.

241
00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:29,379
Sabrina!

242
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:30,681
What the dog doo!

243
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,182
Break's over!
I need you!

244
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,618
Somebody took all
the soup cans off the shelf

245
00:11:34,686 --> 00:11:37,187
and put 'em back
upside down again!

246
00:11:37,255 --> 00:11:40,157
Who would put all the
soup cans upside down?

247
00:11:40,225 --> 00:11:41,825
Oh, me.

248
00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:44,161
Why? I don't know, I
work at a grocerytory-

249
00:11:44,229 --> 00:11:46,396
I get bored.

250
00:11:46,464 --> 00:11:47,798
Sabrina!

251
00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:51,802
Okay, just...

252
00:11:51,869 --> 00:11:54,004
promise me that
that's your baby.

253
00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:55,339
Oh, I promise.

254
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:07,050
Just calm down, Maw Maw.

255
00:12:07,118 --> 00:12:08,852
It's not as bad
as you think.

256
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,020
What's going on?

257
00:12:10,088 --> 00:12:10,988
She's lucid.

258
00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:12,122
It's been almost five minutes.

259
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,957
Whoa, that is a long one.

260
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,059
So, you're telling me

261
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:19,663
that I just let all of you live
in my house free?

262
00:12:19,731 --> 00:12:20,831
Unbelievable.

263
00:12:20,898 --> 00:12:22,132
It's Jimmy.

264
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,800
Hello.

265
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,302
Who the hell are you?

266
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,470
I'm Mike, Jimmy's cousin.

267
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,704
You and I are related by

268
00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:29,239
divorce or something.

269
00:12:29,307 --> 00:12:30,507
I live in a tent
in your laundry room.

270
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:31,875
No, not anymore you don't.

271
00:12:31,943 --> 00:12:33,210
You guys, pack up

272
00:12:33,278 --> 00:12:34,478
all your gypsy circus

273
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,113
and find another teat
to suck on.

274
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:37,948
You're kidding me.

275
00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:41,685
The shopping cart got stolen
when he was in the pawn shop.

276
00:12:41,753 --> 00:12:43,453
Oh, man!

277
00:12:43,521 --> 00:12:46,323
I was gonna grill
burgers this weekend.

278
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,825
This baby's messing
up everything.

279
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,360
Well, I can't just leave.

280
00:12:50,428 --> 00:12:51,962
We've got a situation here.

281
00:12:52,030 --> 00:12:53,263
Your great-grandmother's...

282
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:54,698
Is that Wilfred?

283
00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:57,601
Tell him to stop by the
butcher shop on the way home,

284
00:12:57,669 --> 00:12:59,870
because the Greensteens are
coming over for dinner tonight,

285
00:12:59,937 --> 00:13:02,439
and all I've got in the
ice box is pork chops.

286
00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:03,540
Oh.

287
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:04,775
Never mind. We're good.

288
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:08,612
I knew I was gonna
get snookered into this.

289
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,215
I do not have time for a
baby in my life, Jimmy.

290
00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:13,817
It's one time.
I won't bother you again.

291
00:13:13,885 --> 00:13:16,887
Now that I have the car seat,
it's safe to have her in my van.

292
00:13:16,954 --> 00:13:18,288
Your van doesn't
have a back seat.

293
00:13:18,356 --> 00:13:19,756
Where are you
gonna strap it in?

294
00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:21,958
What do you mean,
strap it in?

295
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,162
She's fine.
She's fine.

296
00:13:25,229 --> 00:13:26,563
She's totally fine.

297
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,465
Can't believe you
didn't strap it in.

298
00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:30,367
I just thought you had to strap
the baby to the seat,

299
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:31,735
not the seat to the car.

300
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,136
Look, I don't know
how this stuff works.

301
00:13:33,204 --> 00:13:34,871
You know how gravity
works, don't you?

302
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,106
Don't try and act so smart.

303
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:37,407
The only reason you
knew to strap it in

304
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:38,475
is 'cause you
already had a baby.

305
00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:39,776
That's not true.

306
00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:41,545
We didn't have those
kind of safety things

307
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,779
when you were a baby.

308
00:13:42,847 --> 00:13:44,014
What are you talking about?

309
00:13:44,082 --> 00:13:45,716
They had car seats
20 years ago.

310
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,351
<i>I didn't say, they
didn't have them.</i>

311
00:13:47,418 --> 00:13:48,819
<i>I said, we
didn't have them.</i>

312
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,129
Mm. Virginia, squirrel.

313
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:05,001
Jimmy, be careful you
don't fall in the hole.

314
00:14:13,177 --> 00:14:15,912
I can't believe I'm still alive.

315
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,714
Well, you are. If
you want that baby

316
00:14:17,782 --> 00:14:18,915
to stay alive,
you'll listen to me

317
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,250
and take it to the fire station.

318
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:23,153
I'm not safe dropping my baby.

319
00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:24,988
You don't know
what you're doing.

320
00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:27,524
I'm learning, and the more
I read, the more I realize

321
00:14:27,592 --> 00:14:29,326
all the stuff
you did wrong. E.I.

322
00:14:29,394 --> 00:14:31,695
You're not supposed
to smoke in front of babies.

323
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:34,498
That's only when you're
pregnant, stupid.

324
00:14:34,565 --> 00:14:35,966
Anyway, I don't
believe that.

325
00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,734
I smoked with you,
and you're fine.

326
00:14:37,802 --> 00:14:41,071
Fine? I had asthma the
first 17 years of my life.

327
00:14:41,139 --> 00:14:43,874
I've got seven permanent teeth
that still haven't come in.

328
00:14:43,941 --> 00:14:45,509
And I'm allergic to fruit.

329
00:14:45,576 --> 00:14:48,545
<i>Fruit.</i>

330
00:14:49,614 --> 00:14:52,682
Fine. We'll walk home.

331
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,552
Book said
fresh air is great for her.

332
00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:05,869
Oh, hey, it's you.

333
00:15:05,937 --> 00:15:07,171
Weird guy.

334
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,406
Nice car seat.

335
00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:09,774
Oh, yeah, thanks.

336
00:15:09,841 --> 00:15:11,609
It's a used one.

337
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:12,777
I can see that.

338
00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:14,512
Who used it, Baby Jesus?

339
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:17,415
Yeah. It's an earlier model.

340
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:20,885
Listen, uh, I have a question
about this food.

341
00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:22,586
Uh, it might be
a stupid question,

342
00:15:22,654 --> 00:15:24,188
but I feel I should ask.

343
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,023
I'm sure it's not stupid.

344
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,492
Okay. Well, um,
the book I have says

345
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:29,927
I should feed her vegetables,

346
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:32,363
and I want to do that,
but the only

347
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,332
vegetable jars I found
have pictures of either

348
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:37,201
black babies or Asian babies
on them, and I don't know

349
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,003
if the pictures are random,
you know,

350
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:41,072
or if there is a reason
Asian babies

351
00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:43,941
instead of white ones should eat
these particular string beans.

352
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,111
That is a really good question.

353
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:49,647
The color of the babies on
the jars doesn't matter.

354
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:50,881
However, it's really important

355
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:52,516
that you do not
feed her anything

356
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:55,686
with a picture of a boy on it,
or else she will grow a penis.

357
00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:59,757
And a mustache.

358
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:03,427
I said, it might be
a stupid question.

359
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,896
Yeah, you did.
I just...

360
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,732
wasn't really
prepared for that.

361
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:10,935
Well, the produce
doodler is back.

362
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,894
Oh.

363
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:38,496
Ugh!

364
00:16:38,563 --> 00:16:40,998
Your baby stinks.

365
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,734
Oh, wow.

366
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:46,670
All right, I'll change her.

367
00:16:46,738 --> 00:16:49,240
Knew I'd have to do
this sooner or later.

368
00:16:49,307 --> 00:16:51,742
No big deal.

369
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,377
Gin.

370
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:54,945
Pick up your cards, Maw Maw.

371
00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:56,814
We're playing Crazy Eights.

372
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,317
Okay.

373
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:03,387
Looks like we'll just use
this sticky tape on the sides.

374
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:06,791
Shouldn't be too hard.

375
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:10,995
I need paper towels!

376
00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:12,430
I need paper towels!
I need paper towels!

377
00:17:12,497 --> 00:17:13,264
What happened?

378
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,299
I threw up on the baby.

379
00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:20,204
You have got to
be kidding me.

380
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,305
How in the world...?

381
00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:29,947
All clean.

382
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,982
And she really liked
the bath, too.

383
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:34,084
I think that's gonna be
a weekly thing.

384
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:36,587
And since lights out
at the prison was 7:30,

385
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:38,689
I think it's time
for Grandma and Grandpa

386
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:40,791
to come give Princess Beyoncé
a kiss good night.

387
00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,763
Okay, then.

388
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,431
I'll be back
in five minutes.

389
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,266
Deal me in
next hand.

390
00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:57,241
Jimmy, it has
been six hours.

391
00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,843
People are
trying to sleep.

392
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:01,312
You've got to get that
baby to shut up now!

393
00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:03,013
Already? Please, Mom.

394
00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:05,082
Let me play with her
for five more minutes.

395
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,218
Please?!

396
00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:16,727
Jimmy?

397
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,497
Do I need to remind you that
we both have to work tomorrow?!

398
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:22,700
Maybe you can sleepwalk your way
through skimming leaves, but

399
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,101
I got to be fresh.

400
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,336
I've got pHs to balance.

401
00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:26,904
That's science.

402
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:28,839
Get it to sleep.

403
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,407
I'm doing the best I can, Dad.

404
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,095
Mmm. Jimmy, you missed
a hell of a party.

405
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,101
Yeah!

406
00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:01,005
Okay, I don't know
what you want.

407
00:19:01,072 --> 00:19:02,840
We walked, you cried.

408
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,608
We rocked, you cried.
We ate,

409
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:05,876
you cried.
We drank, you cried.

410
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,511
Maybe you just want to cry,
is that it?

411
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:08,879
Would you like me
to cry with you?

412
00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:10,581
'Cause I feel like crying.

413
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:14,885
Hey, what-what are you doing?

414
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,353
I got this.

415
00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:27,031
# People smile and tell me
I'm the lucky one... #

416
00:19:27,098 --> 00:19:29,333
This used to work with you.

417
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:32,403
# We've just begun #

418
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:35,005
# Think I'm gonna have
a son... #

419
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:36,473
Dim the lights.

420
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:43,547
# He will be like he and me
as free as a dove #

421
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:44,949
# Conceived in love #

422
00:19:45,016 --> 00:19:50,588
# Sun is gonna shine above #

423
00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:55,159
# Even though
we ain't got money #

424
00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:57,461
# I'm so in love
with you, honey #

425
00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:03,500
# Everything will bring a chain
of love #

426
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:06,870
# And in the morning
when I rise #

427
00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:09,840
# Bring a tear of joy
to my eyes #

428
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,976
# And tell me #

429
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:16,914
# Everything is gonna be
all right. #

430
00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:44,308
She's asleep.

431
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,177
Thanks.

432
00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:52,049
Are you ready to admit
you're not cut out for this?

433
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:53,751
It was the first day.

434
00:20:53,818 --> 00:20:56,654
I'm not dropping her at the
fire station after one day.

435
00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:58,355
And what makes you so sure

436
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,424
someone else can do
better than me anyway?

437
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:03,794
Jimmy, you almost killed it,
and we both threw up on it.

438
00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:05,763
I can't do this
without you guys.

439
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,431
It's not that

440
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:09,166
we don't want
to help you, Jimmy.

441
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,367
We can't.

442
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,735
We don't know what
we're doing, either.

443
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,003
Well, it sure looked like

444
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,338
you knew what you
were doing in there.

445
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:15,639
We sang a song.

446
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,508
Anybody can sing a song.

447
00:21:17,575 --> 00:21:19,710
Charles Manson
can sing a song.

448
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,311
He's actually
pretty darn good.

449
00:21:21,379 --> 00:21:22,579
Mike has his album.

450
00:21:22,647 --> 00:21:23,881
<i>He is good,</i>

451
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:25,115
but that doesn't mean

452
00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:28,552
you want him helping you
raise your child.

453
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,888
Jimmy, what is it with you
and this baby?

454
00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:33,290
Are you afraid people are going
to look at you differently

455
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,359
if you give it away? No one's
gonna look at you differently.

456
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:37,695
That's the problem, Mom.

457
00:21:37,762 --> 00:21:40,297
I want people to look
at me differently.

458
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,733
All right, I'm sick of
people looking at me

459
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,234
like I don't have a purpose.

460
00:21:44,302 --> 00:21:47,805
I want people to look at me
the way that baby looks at me.

461
00:21:47,872 --> 00:21:49,440
Like I'm someone special.

462
00:21:49,507 --> 00:21:52,342
This is a chance for me
to do something good.

463
00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:55,546
It's a chance for all of
us to do something good.

464
00:21:59,951 --> 00:22:02,720
I always did think I could
have done better with a girl.

465
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,657
They do say,
you learn by your mistakes.

466
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:08,792
I've already made every mistake
there is.

467
00:22:11,262 --> 00:22:13,097
What are we gonna name it?

468
00:22:13,164 --> 00:22:15,466
I'm not parading
my granddaughter around church

469
00:22:15,533 --> 00:22:18,068
with a name
like Princess Beyoncé.

470
00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:20,337
I don't know.

471
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:21,672
What do you think?

472
00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:27,611
I always kind of liked...

473
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,646
Hope.

474
00:22:29,714 --> 00:22:31,281
Then Hope it is.

475
00:22:37,288 --> 00:22:40,023
Hey, I talked to a cute girl
at the grocery store yesterday.

476
00:22:40,091 --> 00:22:41,425
Has she killed anyone?

477
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,560
Nah, I don't think so.

478
00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:45,229
You know, you need
to grow a pair

479
00:22:45,296 --> 00:22:46,864
and take a serious run at that.

480
00:22:46,931 --> 00:22:48,565
Could use another set
of hands

481
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:51,535
around here to help us
keep that... baby alive.

482
00:22:51,603 --> 00:22:54,037
No. I think
she thinks I'm weird.

483
00:22:54,105 --> 00:22:55,739
Well, just think
how happy she'll be

484
00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:57,341
when she finds out
you're normal.

485
00:22:59,815 --> 00:23:05,254
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