1 00:00:00,645 --> 00:00:01,889 Previously on Mike & Molly... 2 00:00:01,890 --> 00:00:02,889 This is Frannie. 3 00:00:02,890 --> 00:00:03,889 Former student of mine. 4 00:00:03,890 --> 00:00:05,849 - She's homeless. - And pregnant. 5 00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:07,440 And she's telling us how she robs cars. 6 00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:14,439 You're gonna come home with me 7 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,179 and you can stay there until we figure this out. 8 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:18,309 God, no, no, you don't have to do that. 9 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:19,639 I certainly am not gonna put you out on the street 10 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,979 to raise a baby. 11 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,479 Oh, I'm-I'm not keeping the baby. 12 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,769 I'm giving it up. 13 00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:25,019 Oh. 14 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:26,269 I want it to have a safe home 15 00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:28,559 and a chance at a good life. 16 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,770 I'll take it. 17 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,440 I'll take that baby. 18 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,350 I made a promise to you two. 19 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,939 If you want this baby 20 00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:41,639 half as much as I do, you are... 21 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,269 never gonna forgive yourself if you keep this promise. 22 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,729 We're still going to adopt. 23 00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,099 There's a baby out there 24 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,559 - with our name on it. - Yeah. 25 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,679 Before you know it, we'll be up all hours of the night... 26 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,100 ...knee-deep in dirty diapers. 27 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,309 The good thing about adoption 28 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,599 is we can all be part of the picking process. 29 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,349 No we can't. Who said that? 30 00:01:04,350 --> 00:01:07,479 Hey, you always ask my opinion when we go shoe shopping. 31 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,019 How is this different? 32 00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:12,139 It's a human being. 33 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,889 Exactly. 34 00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,487 Non-refundable. 35 00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:18,519 I say we get a Sagittarius baby. 36 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:19,769 Anything but a Libra. 37 00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:21,769 They're very unreliable. 38 00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:23,229 Wait a minute, you're a Libra. 39 00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:24,939 I guess this is my way of saying 40 00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:26,940 I can't drive you to the dentist tomorrow. 41 00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:30,679 Hey. None of you have a say in this, all right? 42 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,349 Molly and I want another guy in the house. 43 00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:34,229 Preferably a left-handed pitcher 44 00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:36,769 who's got a little movement on his splitter. 45 00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:39,309 I don't remember having that conversation. 46 00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,980 You said "healthy baby"... that's where my head went. 47 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,729 This is the color I was talking about. 48 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,599 - Color for what? - The baby. 49 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,559 I was thinking we could go with a nice caramel coffee. 50 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,559 Aw, and he matches the drapes. 51 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,139 Great, so I'll just tell the people at the adoption agency 52 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:57,809 that we're looking for a left-handed, 53 00:01:57,810 --> 00:02:01,479 Sagittarius, baby boy that doesn't clash with the curtains. 54 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,019 Hey, wait a minute. 55 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,770 A lot of great pitching's been coming out of Latin America. 56 00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,940 That's him right there. 57 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,559 ♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪ 58 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,439 ♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪ 59 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,349 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 60 00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,229 ♪ I see love ♪ 61 00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,269 ♪ I see love ♪ 62 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:27,139 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 63 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:28,709 ♪ I see love ♪ 64 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:32,554 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 65 00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:43,701 I feel like an idiot. 66 00:02:43,702 --> 00:02:45,411 I'm the only guy here with a tie. 67 00:02:45,412 --> 00:02:46,541 No, you look handsome 68 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,871 and that tie may be just the thing that gives us 69 00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:50,622 the baby edge over all these other couples. 70 00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:54,291 Well, the tie ain't gonna help if it's between us 71 00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:56,421 and Tom Brady and Gazelle over there. 72 00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:01,371 Ah, look at him, huh? Got the hands of a quarterback, 73 00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:03,162 and the teeth of a game show host. 74 00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:07,462 I'm more worried about these two suck ups over here, 75 00:03:09,486 --> 00:03:12,371 - Damn it, should we pray, too? - It's... 76 00:03:12,372 --> 00:03:16,001 It's too late, they're already working that shtick. 77 00:03:16,002 --> 00:03:18,411 Well, I think we should talk game plan before we go in there. 78 00:03:18,412 --> 00:03:19,751 I say we play it calm. 79 00:03:19,752 --> 00:03:21,121 If we seem too eager, 80 00:03:21,122 --> 00:03:22,871 they're gonna try to unload a lemon on us. 81 00:03:22,872 --> 00:03:27,411 Okay, you know we're trying to get a baby, not a used Chevy. 82 00:03:27,412 --> 00:03:28,501 Yeah, I'm just saying. 83 00:03:28,502 --> 00:03:30,541 I mean, if they try to give us a hard sell, 84 00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:31,831 we got to be prepared to walk. 85 00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:33,962 I bet we can get a good one online. 86 00:03:35,502 --> 00:03:38,501 Okay, Mike, we need to forget this and just be ourselves. 87 00:03:38,502 --> 00:03:41,291 And show these people that we are good and honest 88 00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:44,541 and we're not into playing silly games, we just want a baby. 89 00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:46,541 Molly Flynn and Mike Biggs? 90 00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:50,831 Oh, God... who... art in heaven. 91 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,792 Hallowed be thy name. 92 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,161 Just give us a second, 93 00:03:57,162 --> 00:03:59,582 we're speaking with our Lord. 94 00:04:08,502 --> 00:04:11,501 Did I mention I was Teacher of the Year? 95 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,542 You did. 96 00:04:15,502 --> 00:04:17,462 Brought home the Golden Apple twice. 97 00:04:18,962 --> 00:04:22,201 I don't know if it matters, but it's never been done before... 98 00:04:22,202 --> 00:04:24,122 or since. 99 00:04:25,462 --> 00:04:28,461 And, uh, I am a decorated police officer. 100 00:04:28,462 --> 00:04:31,582 Most traffic tickets given in the month of June. 101 00:04:33,252 --> 00:04:35,791 Sorry if you got caught up in that, just doing my job. 102 00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:43,621 Well, thank you both for coming in. 103 00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:45,791 Wait, the interview's over? 104 00:04:45,792 --> 00:04:46,791 It is. 105 00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:48,201 Oh, did-did I happen to mention that 106 00:04:48,202 --> 00:04:49,371 I memorized Good Night Moon? 107 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,791 "In the great, green room there was a... 108 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,411 there was a balloon, and, um..." 109 00:04:52,412 --> 00:04:54,831 There's a... I know there's-there's bears 110 00:04:54,832 --> 00:04:56,541 and, there's, like, a bowl of por... there's mush! 111 00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:57,541 I know there's mush. 112 00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:58,911 You don't need to do that. 113 00:04:58,912 --> 00:05:01,461 Listen, I may have been playing this too cool. 114 00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:03,501 We really want to make this happen. 115 00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:04,501 - Yeah. - Get your manager. 116 00:05:04,502 --> 00:05:05,501 We're ready to leave here... 117 00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:06,791 with a baby today. 118 00:05:06,792 --> 00:05:08,701 Today. 119 00:05:08,702 --> 00:05:11,501 Don't worry. You guys did very well. 120 00:05:11,502 --> 00:05:13,831 I think you're perfect candidates for adoption. 121 00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:14,831 Oh, that's great. 122 00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:16,252 Thank you so much. 123 00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:21,292 So, the next thing for us to do is schedule a home visit. 124 00:05:24,582 --> 00:05:26,251 Whose home? 125 00:05:26,252 --> 00:05:27,371 Your home. 126 00:05:27,372 --> 00:05:29,702 Y-you mean where we live? 127 00:05:31,042 --> 00:05:34,251 Yes, we just need to meet all of your family members 128 00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:37,202 and make sure it's a healthy environment for a child. 129 00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:42,962 Is there a day that works better than the others? 130 00:05:45,042 --> 00:05:46,042 Nope. 131 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,661 I'm telling you, something ain't right back there. 132 00:05:56,662 --> 00:06:00,411 Are we looking at the pimple or the spider bite? 133 00:06:00,412 --> 00:06:01,961 'Cause either way, we need to call the dermatologist 134 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,161 or the Orkin man. 135 00:06:04,162 --> 00:06:06,541 I'm looking at this raised mole. 136 00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:08,502 Looks like you slept on a Milk Dud. 137 00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:11,371 Whatever it is, it's throbbing. 138 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:14,581 Press them one at a time... when I scream, you'll know. 139 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:15,581 Hey. 140 00:06:15,582 --> 00:06:17,201 There they are. 141 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,541 Where's my grand-baby? 142 00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:21,661 We were just cleaning up my saddle for piggyback rides. 143 00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:25,371 Okay, well, we're not quite there yet. 144 00:06:25,372 --> 00:06:26,001 However, she did say that 145 00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:28,541 Mike and I were excellent candidates for an adoption. 146 00:06:28,542 --> 00:06:30,871 - Oh, that's wonderful! - Come on. - Yay! I knew it! I knew it! 147 00:06:30,872 --> 00:06:32,871 Yeah, but, you know, we still have a pretty big hurdle 148 00:06:32,872 --> 00:06:34,872 to get over, actually. 149 00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:37,041 Three of 'em. 150 00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,121 Yeah, what Mol is saying is 151 00:06:41,122 --> 00:06:43,541 that there are some other aspects of the house 152 00:06:43,542 --> 00:06:46,109 that we have to make more presentable. 153 00:06:47,082 --> 00:06:48,911 Are you talking about the dust bunnies under my bed? 154 00:06:48,912 --> 00:06:51,292 More like the weed bunny that sleeps on top of it. 155 00:06:52,752 --> 00:06:54,041 Um... 156 00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:56,961 Look, we... we love you so much 157 00:06:56,962 --> 00:07:01,331 and we would never want to change anything about you, 158 00:07:01,332 --> 00:07:02,961 except, on Saturday, 159 00:07:02,962 --> 00:07:05,837 when we need to change everything about you. 160 00:07:07,462 --> 00:07:08,501 Not everything. 161 00:07:08,502 --> 00:07:10,201 Just the, uh... 162 00:07:10,202 --> 00:07:14,042 the drugs and the drinking and the filthy language. 163 00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:17,042 That is everything. 164 00:07:17,832 --> 00:07:19,201 Well, then that's... 165 00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:21,978 what we're asking you to do. 166 00:07:24,412 --> 00:07:25,961 - Sure. - All right. - Okay. 167 00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,961 Wait, really? 168 00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:30,946 It's a little insulting, but it makes a lot of sense. 169 00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:34,622 We should start by getting rid of all the booze. 170 00:07:40,122 --> 00:07:42,624 - To the baby. - To the baby! - To the baby! 171 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:49,411 I'm telling you, 172 00:07:49,412 --> 00:07:51,871 Molly's family has been taking this like champs. 173 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:55,081 They even let us do a full sweep of their bedrooms. 174 00:07:55,082 --> 00:07:56,201 You find anything? 175 00:07:56,202 --> 00:07:57,662 We found everything. 176 00:07:59,372 --> 00:08:02,661 Pot, illegal prescription pills, fireworks. 177 00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:04,980 It's like searching a car coming back from Tijuana. 178 00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:08,121 Hey, uh, by the way, 179 00:08:08,122 --> 00:08:11,001 it'd be great if you could come by the house on Saturday, too. 180 00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:14,614 Might help the adoption lady to see how diverse my friends are. 181 00:08:16,082 --> 00:08:17,081 Diverse? 182 00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,621 Come on, you know what I mean? 183 00:08:18,622 --> 00:08:20,081 I certainly do. 184 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,661 It's the "Oh, some of my best friends are black" line. 185 00:08:22,662 --> 00:08:27,121 Yeah, but in my case, that's actually true, see? 186 00:08:27,122 --> 00:08:29,201 So, if that somehow puts me in a better light, 187 00:08:29,202 --> 00:08:31,961 that's on society, not me. 188 00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,411 And you want to exploit that. 189 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:36,541 Yes, I do. 190 00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,722 For a baby. 191 00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,001 Man, how can I say no to that? 192 00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:43,161 You can't because you're my best friend. 193 00:08:43,162 --> 00:08:45,081 And we're right back where we started. 194 00:08:45,082 --> 00:08:46,371 Ah. 195 00:08:46,372 --> 00:08:49,081 Uh, what time did you say you wanted me there on Saturday? 196 00:08:49,082 --> 00:08:50,411 Seriously? 197 00:08:50,412 --> 00:08:51,961 It's not what you think. 198 00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:53,831 I invited Samuel because he's foreign. 199 00:08:53,832 --> 00:08:56,573 Gives me a little international flavor. 200 00:08:57,292 --> 00:08:59,292 4:00. 201 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,371 Isn't it a little premature to be setting up the crib? 202 00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,961 Like lighting a bong before you load the bowl. 203 00:09:09,962 --> 00:09:11,411 Okay. Now, 204 00:09:11,412 --> 00:09:13,831 I love your colorful analogies, 205 00:09:13,832 --> 00:09:15,291 but when the adoption lady comes, 206 00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:17,831 let's keep those all in here, 207 00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:19,596 so they never come out here. 208 00:09:20,582 --> 00:09:21,831 Relax. 209 00:09:21,832 --> 00:09:24,121 I'll have her take a Xanax before they get here. 210 00:09:24,122 --> 00:09:26,661 No, no pills, no booze, no weed. 211 00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:29,751 It's like a mother-daughter detox. It'll be fun. 212 00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:31,621 Fine, but if I'm not drinking, 213 00:09:31,622 --> 00:09:34,791 I can't be held responsible for my actions. 214 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,041 Hey, trust me. 215 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,081 The second that adoption lady is out the door, 216 00:09:38,082 --> 00:09:40,871 I'll be elbow-deep in mojitos, but until then, 217 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,751 we've got to prove that this house is safe, 218 00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:45,291 and secure, and baby ready. 219 00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:46,541 What are you talking about? 220 00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,621 This is the same house you two grew up in 221 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,041 and you both survived. 222 00:09:50,042 --> 00:09:51,041 Yeah, "survived," 223 00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:53,581 which implies a chance of death. 224 00:09:53,582 --> 00:09:56,161 I admit, you girls had some close calls. 225 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:59,461 Remember the fort you made out of that old fridge? 226 00:09:59,462 --> 00:10:01,751 Was that the day I blacked out and met the fireman? 227 00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:04,161 One of 'em. 228 00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:05,961 Okay, no childhood stories. 229 00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:07,121 Actually, you know what? Let's make it easy. 230 00:10:07,122 --> 00:10:08,411 No stories at all. 231 00:10:08,412 --> 00:10:11,001 It's starting to sound like you don't want us to say anything. 232 00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:12,001 See? 233 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,317 Victoria gets it. 234 00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:18,121 Now, come on, these adoption people are trained 235 00:10:18,122 --> 00:10:20,541 to-to see hazards that we're not even aware of. 236 00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:23,161 I mean, uncovered outlets and sharp table corners, 237 00:10:23,162 --> 00:10:24,161 and, look. 238 00:10:24,162 --> 00:10:25,411 Look at these seashells. 239 00:10:25,412 --> 00:10:26,411 What do you see? 240 00:10:26,412 --> 00:10:29,124 A crappy Christmas gift from Mom. 241 00:10:29,384 --> 00:10:32,161 Yes, but, to a baby? 242 00:10:32,162 --> 00:10:34,041 This is a fun thing to put in your mouth. 243 00:10:37,252 --> 00:10:38,251 Mol! 244 00:10:42,912 --> 00:10:45,122 I think I made my point. 245 00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:53,690 Okay, Victoria, blouse. 246 00:10:54,412 --> 00:10:55,751 Carl, gum. 247 00:10:55,752 --> 00:10:58,001 Okay. 248 00:10:58,002 --> 00:10:59,661 Now, the adoption lady's name is Karen. 249 00:10:59,662 --> 00:11:01,041 She is very nice. 250 00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:02,251 There are gonna be times where 251 00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:05,081 your instinct will be to talk to her. 252 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,371 Ignore those instincts. 253 00:11:07,372 --> 00:11:09,041 I think my neck size has changed 254 00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:10,961 since I bought this shirt 15 years ago. 255 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,251 - Can you breathe? - Yeah. 256 00:11:12,252 --> 00:11:14,001 You're fine. 257 00:11:14,002 --> 00:11:16,201 I told you to go with the open shirt and scarf, 258 00:11:16,202 --> 00:11:18,121 like Jon Voight. 259 00:11:18,122 --> 00:11:19,291 Quit trying to make me Jon Voight. 260 00:11:19,292 --> 00:11:21,122 I'll never be Jon Voight! 261 00:11:22,622 --> 00:11:24,461 Okay, here we go. 262 00:11:24,462 --> 00:11:26,081 Ooh. Don't mind if I do. 263 00:11:26,082 --> 00:11:28,041 I do, so don't. 264 00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:29,911 But I just wanted a jicama stick. 265 00:11:29,912 --> 00:11:31,411 No don't, they're stacked perfectly. 266 00:11:31,412 --> 00:11:33,411 - Relax, I'm good at Jenga. - Hey! 267 00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:35,201 Hands off the jicama. 268 00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:37,041 Thank you. 269 00:11:37,042 --> 00:11:38,791 Okay, now before we get started, 270 00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:41,461 I-I just want you all to know that I love you 271 00:11:41,462 --> 00:11:43,001 - Hmm. - Very much, 272 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,661 and if any one of you 273 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,121 screws me out of getting my hands on a baby... 274 00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,162 there we will be blood. 275 00:11:50,962 --> 00:11:52,751 Okay. 276 00:11:52,752 --> 00:11:54,752 Smiles everyone. Let's have fun. 277 00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:57,871 Hello. 278 00:11:59,372 --> 00:12:00,581 You're late. 279 00:12:00,582 --> 00:12:02,041 For some reason, you asked the only person 280 00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:03,961 coming on bicycle to bring ice. 281 00:12:03,962 --> 00:12:05,461 You only brought one bag? 282 00:12:05,462 --> 00:12:09,001 Just get in here and take a seat with the rest of the ding-dongs. 283 00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:13,911 Hello! 284 00:12:13,912 --> 00:12:17,232 Look who it is. What a pleasant surprise. 285 00:12:38,448 --> 00:12:39,448 Okay, Joyce. 286 00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:44,118 I noticed your home has a nice-sized backyard. 287 00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:50,118 Thank you. 288 00:12:51,488 --> 00:12:54,527 I think what my mother is trying to say is that it will be 289 00:12:54,528 --> 00:12:57,605 a wonderful place for our child to play. 290 00:12:58,698 --> 00:13:01,158 Thank you. 291 00:13:03,368 --> 00:13:04,367 Jicama stick? 292 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,277 Oh, no thank you. 293 00:13:06,278 --> 00:13:07,737 You sure? Maybe just one so, you know, 294 00:13:07,738 --> 00:13:10,237 we can all get started. 295 00:13:10,238 --> 00:13:12,577 Carl, you know that no one here needs permission 296 00:13:12,578 --> 00:13:14,157 to enjoy the hors d'oeuvres. 297 00:13:17,408 --> 00:13:19,487 Uh, Karen, I don't know if you noticed, 298 00:13:19,488 --> 00:13:22,527 but the backyard is safely fenced in. 299 00:13:22,528 --> 00:13:24,407 It was built with the help of my two main men here: 300 00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:25,577 Carl and Samuel. 301 00:13:25,578 --> 00:13:28,487 Mm-hmm. Mike and I have been partners for years. 302 00:13:28,488 --> 00:13:29,617 And we live together. 303 00:13:29,618 --> 00:13:31,578 - But not as a couple. - Yeah. 304 00:13:32,908 --> 00:13:34,487 We're not gay, we're just here 'cause we're black. 305 00:13:34,488 --> 00:13:35,487 Oh, God. 306 00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:43,197 And I'm here 'cause I'm the sister. 307 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,778 Which makes me the aunt. 308 00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:48,488 That's all I'm allowed to say. 309 00:13:50,488 --> 00:13:51,907 Okay, 310 00:13:51,908 --> 00:13:53,947 well, now that you've met the whole gang, 311 00:13:53,948 --> 00:13:55,277 why don't I take you upstairs 312 00:13:55,278 --> 00:13:56,447 and show you where the baby's gonna sleep. 313 00:13:56,448 --> 00:13:58,408 Sounds good. 314 00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:03,947 Excuse me. 315 00:14:03,948 --> 00:14:05,948 I think you dropped a $100 bill. 316 00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:09,527 No, I-I didn't. 317 00:14:09,528 --> 00:14:12,487 You sure? People lose track of stuff all the time. 318 00:14:12,488 --> 00:14:15,778 $100 bills... Third World babies. 319 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,818 It's mine. 320 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,408 Thank you for your honesty. 321 00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:35,407 Okay, uh, here is the crib where the baby will sleep. 322 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,367 It got five stars for safety 323 00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:39,117 and, I'll tell you what, if there's a tornado, 324 00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:40,407 forget the basement, 325 00:14:40,408 --> 00:14:41,617 I'm riding out the storm in this son of a gun. 326 00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:46,487 Well, I can see you've done a lot of work and research. 327 00:14:46,488 --> 00:14:48,367 Oh, believe me, we are prepared. 328 00:14:48,368 --> 00:14:50,408 We're serious buyers. We're not just looky-loos. 329 00:14:51,278 --> 00:14:52,527 Good to know. 330 00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:54,697 Now, can I see the room the baby will stay in 331 00:14:54,698 --> 00:14:56,277 when it outgrows the crib? 332 00:14:56,278 --> 00:14:57,577 Oh. 333 00:14:57,578 --> 00:14:59,447 Oh, we really hadn't thought about that yet. 334 00:14:59,448 --> 00:15:01,577 Um, is-is that an issue? 335 00:15:01,578 --> 00:15:04,488 Well, I only ask because... 336 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:15,697 It seems like you already have a pretty full house here. 337 00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,777 Five people living in a three bedroom home. 338 00:15:17,778 --> 00:15:19,577 May I say something? 339 00:15:19,578 --> 00:15:21,407 No. 340 00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:24,577 I myself was raised in a two bedroom, with three brothers, 341 00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:26,987 two sisters, my Grammy, Mom, Dad, and Uncle Sal, 342 00:15:26,988 --> 00:15:28,948 who I later learned was my real father. 343 00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:34,407 A small house actually brought us closer together. 344 00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:37,407 Especially Mom and Uncle Sal. 345 00:15:37,408 --> 00:15:41,577 Isn't the plight of the Italian immigrant fascinating? 346 00:15:41,578 --> 00:15:43,447 - Isn't it? - What he's saying is 347 00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,447 kids don't need that much space. 348 00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:49,447 Molly slept in a drawer for two years before we moved in here. 349 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,657 One room. When my husband and I wanted to have sex, 350 00:15:51,658 --> 00:15:53,908 we just closed the drawer. 351 00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:59,817 Aw, closed the drawer. 352 00:15:59,818 --> 00:16:02,237 I'm sorry. 353 00:16:02,238 --> 00:16:03,657 We just want to make sure we're finding 354 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,237 the best homes for our babies. 355 00:16:06,238 --> 00:16:07,237 Oh. 356 00:16:07,238 --> 00:16:08,527 Well, look no further, 357 00:16:08,528 --> 00:16:10,367 'cause this house is filled with nothing but love. 358 00:16:10,368 --> 00:16:11,407 It's true and he should know, 359 00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:12,697 he used to be my lover. 360 00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:14,277 Oh, those were good times. 361 00:16:14,278 --> 00:16:15,487 The pleasure was worth the pain. 362 00:16:15,488 --> 00:16:16,407 I'd do it all over again. 363 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,407 - Not here. Not now! - Okay, okay, okay. 364 00:16:18,408 --> 00:16:19,618 Look, Karen, I... 365 00:16:21,658 --> 00:16:23,367 I realize that this isn't the biggest house 366 00:16:23,368 --> 00:16:26,817 and maybe space will be an issue down the road, 367 00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:28,577 but don't you think it's more important that 368 00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:29,987 you have two people here 369 00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:32,617 that-that really, truly love each other? 370 00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:35,197 Yeah, we are totally committed to creating 371 00:16:35,198 --> 00:16:38,237 a healthy and safe environment for this child. 372 00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:40,488 I promise you, we will take good care of it. 373 00:16:47,818 --> 00:16:49,117 Wow. 374 00:16:49,118 --> 00:16:51,078 What horrible timing. 375 00:16:59,528 --> 00:17:01,408 Okay, well, she didn't say no. 376 00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:05,617 She didn't say anything, she just ran out. 377 00:17:05,618 --> 00:17:07,868 Maybe she was in a hurry to approve us. 378 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,868 We guillotined a baby doll. 379 00:17:13,371 --> 00:17:17,157 The worst part is I can't even blame my family for all this. 380 00:17:17,158 --> 00:17:19,367 I can. 381 00:17:19,368 --> 00:17:21,407 All right, maybe they didn't exactly help, 382 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,867 but we did this to ourselves. 383 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,867 I mean, why couldn't I just let Carl have some jicama? 384 00:17:28,198 --> 00:17:30,157 You were nervous, and it just shows 385 00:17:30,158 --> 00:17:32,737 how important this whole thing is to you. 386 00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:34,027 And you. 387 00:17:34,028 --> 00:17:36,907 It'll happen when it happens. 388 00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:38,577 Until that time comes, 389 00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:41,448 we'll... we'll just enjoy our time together. 390 00:17:42,488 --> 00:17:44,157 To us. 391 00:17:44,158 --> 00:17:45,488 To us. 392 00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:55,158 I want a baby so damn bad. 393 00:17:56,738 --> 00:17:58,778 Me, too. 394 00:18:08,028 --> 00:18:11,317 God, look at all the jicama. 395 00:18:11,318 --> 00:18:12,948 I'm a monster. 396 00:18:14,408 --> 00:18:17,407 Jicama. That's a weird word, jicama. 397 00:18:17,408 --> 00:18:19,488 Jicama! 398 00:18:20,438 --> 00:18:22,487 Are you drunk? 399 00:18:22,488 --> 00:18:23,487 Yes. 400 00:18:23,488 --> 00:18:25,407 I'm drunk-ama. 401 00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:27,197 Molly, is that you? 402 00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:28,407 Yeah. 403 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,487 Come up to my room. 404 00:18:29,488 --> 00:18:31,317 You got to see what we did. 405 00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,487 Maybe they finally got that thing off of Vince's back. 406 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,367 I hope so, looks like he's sleeping on a Milk Dud. 407 00:18:40,408 --> 00:18:42,407 Ta-da! 408 00:18:42,408 --> 00:18:44,697 Oh, my God, what did you do? 409 00:18:44,698 --> 00:18:46,448 Welcome to the nursery. 410 00:18:47,318 --> 00:18:48,777 Don't worry, I fixed the crib. 411 00:18:48,778 --> 00:18:51,277 It was missing a screw and you put the rail in upside down, 412 00:18:51,278 --> 00:18:52,988 which created an instrument of death. 413 00:18:54,368 --> 00:18:56,657 But other than that, you did a great job. 414 00:18:56,658 --> 00:18:59,027 And I'm moving to the basement. 415 00:18:59,028 --> 00:19:01,487 I'm thinking circular couch, lots of pillows. 416 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,908 I want that whole I Dream of Jeannie bottle vibe. 417 00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,527 This is the sweetest, most amazing thing 418 00:19:08,528 --> 00:19:10,577 anybody has ever done for us. 419 00:19:10,578 --> 00:19:11,947 I mean... Oh! 420 00:19:11,948 --> 00:19:14,527 Mike, look, tiny socks. 421 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:15,987 You know how I'm always saying 422 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,947 I want to move the hell out of this house? 423 00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:21,277 I don't want to go anywhere. 424 00:19:21,278 --> 00:19:22,618 I love you weirdos. 425 00:19:23,658 --> 00:19:24,867 Are you drunk? 426 00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,725 Yeah, it's really hitting me. 427 00:19:37,992 --> 00:19:40,791 I got to say, I appreciate you being so thorough and open. 428 00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:43,371 Most couples hoping to adopt aren't as forthcoming. 429 00:19:43,372 --> 00:19:45,241 Well, we're new to this agency 430 00:19:45,242 --> 00:19:47,411 and we just want you to know who we are, 431 00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:49,161 warts and all. 432 00:19:49,162 --> 00:19:50,991 Yeah, that's right. I mean, all we can do 433 00:19:50,992 --> 00:19:53,491 is be honest with our answers and hope for the best. 434 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,121 Well, you're doing great. 435 00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:57,331 So, about your living situation... 436 00:19:57,332 --> 00:19:59,332 - We live alone. - Just the two of us. 437 00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:06,403 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/