1 00:00:01,274 --> 00:00:03,091 Previously on Mike & Molly... 2 00:00:03,092 --> 00:00:04,117 You guys did very well. 3 00:00:04,118 --> 00:00:06,747 I think you're perfect candidates for adoption. 4 00:00:06,748 --> 00:00:07,747 Oh, that's great. 5 00:00:07,748 --> 00:00:10,117 Thank you so much. 6 00:00:10,118 --> 00:00:13,077 So, the next thing for us to do is schedule a home visit. 7 00:00:13,078 --> 00:00:14,118 Whose home? 8 00:00:16,288 --> 00:00:18,457 Yeah, we are totally committed 9 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,697 to creating a healthy and safe environment 10 00:00:20,698 --> 00:00:21,957 - for this child. - Yeah. 11 00:00:21,958 --> 00:00:24,457 I promise you, we will take good care of it. 12 00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:31,537 I appreciate you being so thorough and open. 13 00:00:31,538 --> 00:00:33,907 Most couples hoping to adopt aren't as forthcoming. 14 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,117 So, about your living situation. 15 00:00:36,118 --> 00:00:38,158 - We live alone. - Just the two of us. 16 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,907 Why do we have to take new holiday photos 17 00:00:44,908 --> 00:00:46,577 for the adoption agency? 18 00:00:46,578 --> 00:00:50,037 I mean, I look fantastic in these old ones. 19 00:00:50,038 --> 00:00:51,657 Because we have to show expectant mothers that, 20 00:00:51,658 --> 00:00:53,747 if they pick us, that their child will be raised 21 00:00:53,748 --> 00:00:55,457 in a safe and wholesome environment. 22 00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:57,457 What's not wholesome here? 23 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,115 Wine glass. 24 00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:00,908 Shot glass. 25 00:01:02,118 --> 00:01:03,118 Beer bong. 26 00:01:04,578 --> 00:01:06,395 Bong bong. 27 00:01:06,655 --> 00:01:09,157 Okay, all right, let's make some memories, people. 28 00:01:09,158 --> 00:01:11,497 Victoria, hold the branch up. Mike, grab an ornament. 29 00:01:11,498 --> 00:01:12,617 Mom. 30 00:01:12,618 --> 00:01:14,578 Get a shot of us decorating the Christmas tree. 31 00:01:19,823 --> 00:01:20,862 Got it! 32 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,653 Okay, next. Lose the sweater! 33 00:01:23,943 --> 00:01:25,782 Okay, we got to celebrate two birthdays, 34 00:01:25,783 --> 00:01:26,992 we got to carve some pumpkins, 35 00:01:26,993 --> 00:01:29,072 we got to pose for that Fourth of July picture 36 00:01:29,073 --> 00:01:32,032 in front of the neighbor's pool before they get home. 37 00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:35,903 Are we doing Halloween now or do I have time to run to Costco? 38 00:01:38,823 --> 00:01:42,112 ♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪ 39 00:01:42,113 --> 00:01:44,992 ♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪ 40 00:01:44,993 --> 00:01:47,942 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 41 00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:49,612 ♪ I see love ♪ 42 00:01:49,613 --> 00:01:51,742 ♪ I see love ♪ 43 00:01:51,743 --> 00:01:54,652 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 44 00:01:54,653 --> 00:01:56,282 ♪ I see love ♪ 45 00:01:56,283 --> 00:02:00,058 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 46 00:02:07,491 --> 00:02:09,910 All right, what number did you give the agency? 47 00:02:09,911 --> 00:02:11,570 I gave them everyone's number. 48 00:02:11,571 --> 00:02:14,240 Uh, my phone, your phone, the house phone, the work phone. 49 00:02:14,241 --> 00:02:17,466 Everything except Victoria's dealer and Vince's bookie. 50 00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:20,450 Maybe they hated our photo album, huh? 51 00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:23,030 Oh, God... I never should have included that old-timey picture 52 00:02:23,031 --> 00:02:24,910 we did at Six Flags. 53 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,570 Now I bet they think we're really wanted. 54 00:02:27,571 --> 00:02:29,990 Sweetie, it's only been a week. 55 00:02:29,991 --> 00:02:31,650 The last thing they said was, "Be patient, 56 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,950 these things take time." 57 00:02:32,951 --> 00:02:34,360 What the hell kind of advice is that 58 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,820 to give to an expectant parent? 59 00:02:36,821 --> 00:02:39,530 Mol, a real baby takes nine months. 60 00:02:39,531 --> 00:02:41,570 The least we could do is give them two weeks. 61 00:02:41,571 --> 00:02:43,150 Two weeks? 62 00:02:43,151 --> 00:02:44,740 I thought you wanted a baby. 63 00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:46,200 Okay, if you're not all in, tell me now 64 00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:48,490 because I will raise it on my own. 65 00:02:48,491 --> 00:02:50,110 Take it easy, okay? 66 00:02:50,111 --> 00:02:52,990 We're both on the same side here. 67 00:02:52,991 --> 00:02:54,820 Then why aren't you all crazy like me? 68 00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:56,450 Because I leave the house. 69 00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:57,780 You're in this cage all day 70 00:02:57,781 --> 00:02:59,910 pacing around like that cross-eyed zebra at the zoo 71 00:02:59,911 --> 00:03:01,700 we sneak marshmallows to. 72 00:03:01,701 --> 00:03:05,031 Poor little Stewart, he don't see right. 73 00:03:06,031 --> 00:03:07,410 What do you say 74 00:03:07,411 --> 00:03:10,320 we get the hell out of here and take a walk. 75 00:03:10,321 --> 00:03:12,780 You're right. I'm sorry I'm acting like this. 76 00:03:12,781 --> 00:03:15,030 I'm not. Just shows how much you want this 77 00:03:15,031 --> 00:03:16,861 and what a good mom you're gonna be. 78 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,360 Fresh air. 79 00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:25,860 Blue sky. What a day. 80 00:03:25,861 --> 00:03:28,070 All right. I'm good. 81 00:03:28,071 --> 00:03:30,030 No, you don't. No, no, no. 82 00:03:30,031 --> 00:03:32,530 Come on, we should at least make it down to the sidewalk. 83 00:03:36,031 --> 00:03:37,200 Did you bring the house key? 84 00:03:37,201 --> 00:03:39,410 Me? No, you're the one who dragged me out here. 85 00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:41,110 I was happy inside. 86 00:03:41,111 --> 00:03:42,530 What are we supposed to do now? 87 00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:44,530 I don't know. All I know is our baby is calling 88 00:03:44,531 --> 00:03:46,201 on the other side of that door. 89 00:03:49,611 --> 00:03:50,740 Don't hang up! 90 00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:52,700 Don't hang up! Don't hang up! 91 00:03:56,031 --> 00:03:59,530 Hello? Hello? 92 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:03,201 No, Vince, we do not need anything from Costco. 93 00:04:11,701 --> 00:04:12,860 Ten years on the job. 94 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,360 I never had to kick in a door until it was my own. 95 00:04:15,361 --> 00:04:16,781 Does that ankle look swollen to you? 96 00:04:18,151 --> 00:04:19,820 They both do. 97 00:04:19,821 --> 00:04:21,610 But I'm guessing it's water retention. 98 00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:23,570 Yeah, I think it's all that salt you eat. 99 00:04:23,571 --> 00:04:25,280 Not in the mood, Carl. 100 00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:27,320 Hey, listen, we both have to watch our sodium. 101 00:04:27,321 --> 00:04:28,410 Look how fat my fingers are. 102 00:04:28,411 --> 00:04:29,611 Can't even wear my thumb ring. 103 00:04:29,816 --> 00:04:32,240 Get out. 104 00:04:32,241 --> 00:04:34,910 It's just this whole baby thing has got us on edge, you know? 105 00:04:34,911 --> 00:04:36,610 I'm trying to be strong for Molly, 106 00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:39,450 but I'm going just as nuts as she is. 107 00:04:39,451 --> 00:04:41,110 Well, you know what I always say. 108 00:04:41,111 --> 00:04:42,360 It'll happen... 109 00:04:42,361 --> 00:04:43,741 when it happens. 110 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:46,360 Really? 111 00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:47,740 Is that when it happens, Carl? 112 00:04:47,741 --> 00:04:48,741 When it happens? 113 00:04:50,741 --> 00:04:52,611 Well, not with that attitude. 114 00:04:53,911 --> 00:04:55,360 Look, you don't know what we're going through. 115 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,030 It's like slow torture waiting for that phone to ring. 116 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,200 All right. 117 00:04:59,201 --> 00:05:00,650 I can see that this is tearing you apart, 118 00:05:00,651 --> 00:05:02,320 and I know you don't want to hear this, but... 119 00:05:02,321 --> 00:05:04,700 I think you may need to talk to a professional. 120 00:05:04,701 --> 00:05:06,610 Like a therapist? 121 00:05:06,611 --> 00:05:07,700 No, better. 122 00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:08,700 My psychic. 123 00:05:08,701 --> 00:05:10,700 Get out of here. 124 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,610 I'm telling you, man, Madame Vianne is the real deal. 125 00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:14,610 She knows all, she sees all. 126 00:05:14,611 --> 00:05:16,490 And she's a life coach. 127 00:05:16,491 --> 00:05:19,411 And if you need anything notarized, bring that, too. 128 00:05:36,781 --> 00:05:38,200 What's all that racket? 129 00:05:38,201 --> 00:05:39,910 Oh, that? Don't worry. 130 00:05:39,911 --> 00:05:42,860 After a half hour, you won't even notice it. 131 00:05:42,861 --> 00:05:44,110 How was brunch? 132 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,650 It was good. I had the poached salmon Benedict. 133 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:48,700 What? 134 00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:50,860 I had the poached salmon Benedict! 135 00:05:50,861 --> 00:05:52,410 Have you ever had it with crab?! 136 00:05:52,411 --> 00:05:54,570 - What?! - What?! 137 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,701 This is ridiculous. 138 00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,530 We'll talk later! 139 00:05:58,531 --> 00:06:00,450 What?! 140 00:06:00,451 --> 00:06:02,321 Molly! 141 00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:05,700 Molly. 142 00:06:05,701 --> 00:06:07,860 What the hell are you doing? 143 00:06:07,861 --> 00:06:09,360 Waxing the floors. 144 00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:10,410 Why? 145 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,320 'Cause I'm trying to stay busy 146 00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:15,360 in this cage before my eyes go wonky. 147 00:06:15,361 --> 00:06:16,530 What? 148 00:06:16,531 --> 00:06:18,780 I'm just trying to take my mind off of stuff. 149 00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:20,200 Have you tried meditation? 150 00:06:20,201 --> 00:06:22,200 Or getting real drunk? 151 00:06:22,201 --> 00:06:25,610 So when the adoption agency calls, I'm gonna be blotto? 152 00:06:25,611 --> 00:06:27,361 Is that what you want? 153 00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:31,360 I can see my reflection. 154 00:06:31,361 --> 00:06:33,200 You're gonna have to start wearing underwear in here. 155 00:06:33,201 --> 00:06:36,410 Why? I'm just as waxed as this floor. 156 00:06:37,861 --> 00:06:40,200 Don't worry, Vince, I'll get the door. 157 00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:43,361 All right, I figured you want to keep busy. 158 00:06:44,651 --> 00:06:46,200 Is there a baby yet? 159 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:47,610 Yeah, Peggy. 160 00:06:47,611 --> 00:06:49,651 Meet your grandchild. He's right there on the couch. 161 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,860 This whole adoption process is ridiculous. 162 00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:55,450 You know, if you were a celebrity, 163 00:06:55,451 --> 00:06:58,780 this house would be swimming in Third World babies. 164 00:06:58,781 --> 00:07:00,030 Well, if you're open to that, I know a guy 165 00:07:00,031 --> 00:07:01,860 who can get his hands on just about anything. 166 00:07:01,861 --> 00:07:05,950 Got me the socks Saddam Hussein was wearing when they hung him. 167 00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:07,610 Get out of here. 168 00:07:07,611 --> 00:07:08,910 No, I'm serious. 169 00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:10,700 I got the certificate of authenticity and everything. 170 00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,241 No, get out of here. 171 00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,610 Get out of here. 172 00:07:14,611 --> 00:07:16,450 Get out of here! 173 00:07:16,451 --> 00:07:18,200 God, do you ever want to just kill somebody? 174 00:07:18,201 --> 00:07:20,031 Everybody. All the time. 175 00:07:22,781 --> 00:07:24,860 You know, I wouldn't say this in front of Mike, 176 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,820 but I'm starting to think this is not gonna happen. 177 00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:29,240 Of course it's gonna happen. 178 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,490 You don't know that. 179 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,280 Yes, I do, 'cause I got faith. 180 00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:35,240 Which is exactly what you need. 181 00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:37,320 Grab your coat, you're coming with me. 182 00:07:37,321 --> 00:07:40,030 - Where? - I'm taking you to my friend's house. 183 00:07:40,031 --> 00:07:43,570 My buddy God and his little boy Jesus. 184 00:07:43,571 --> 00:07:47,070 Oh, I-I appreciate what you're doing, 185 00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:50,360 but, uh, I'm not really tight with those guys. 186 00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:51,450 Well, I am. 187 00:07:51,451 --> 00:07:53,200 I've done a lot of dirty work for our Lord. 188 00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:55,200 It's time for him to pay up. 189 00:07:55,201 --> 00:07:57,150 And bring your mother and sister, too. 190 00:07:57,151 --> 00:08:00,201 You'll look better in his eyes if they're next to you. 191 00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:04,200 Makes sense. I mean... 192 00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,200 I get that. 193 00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:07,490 You know what? Mom? Victoria? 194 00:08:07,491 --> 00:08:09,700 We're going to church! 195 00:08:09,701 --> 00:08:12,990 Please tell me that's the name of a new club. 196 00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:15,110 No, it's the real deal. 197 00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:16,200 It's for the baby. 198 00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:18,031 I'll put on underwear. 199 00:08:28,031 --> 00:08:30,030 I feel a little nervous being here. 200 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:33,530 I've done some sinful things in my life. 201 00:08:33,531 --> 00:08:36,740 I've done sinful things in the last two hours. 202 00:08:36,741 --> 00:08:40,320 I know, Mom. We have thin walls. 203 00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:44,030 It doesn't matter. That's the beauty of religion. 204 00:08:44,031 --> 00:08:45,700 You can do all sorts of unnatural acts 205 00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:47,320 and come in here and... 206 00:08:47,321 --> 00:08:48,491 clean-slate it. 207 00:08:50,111 --> 00:08:51,650 God is forgiving. 208 00:08:51,651 --> 00:08:53,701 Not the God I pray to. 209 00:08:54,531 --> 00:08:55,740 You want forgiveness? 210 00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:58,200 Go to the hippie Lutheran joint down the street. 211 00:08:58,201 --> 00:09:01,490 The God that lives here is angry and vengeful. 212 00:09:01,491 --> 00:09:03,700 Well, then is he really the one to help us? 213 00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:08,490 Vince has got a guy who can get us a baby and a 60-inch plasma. 214 00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:09,860 No, this is gonna work. 215 00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:10,860 You just got to do 216 00:09:10,861 --> 00:09:13,360 exactly as I say. 217 00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:15,950 Here. A St. William Medal. 218 00:09:15,951 --> 00:09:18,610 Patron Saint of adoption. 219 00:09:18,611 --> 00:09:20,030 Are you seriously telling me that if I wear that, 220 00:09:20,031 --> 00:09:21,110 I'm gonna get a baby? 221 00:09:21,111 --> 00:09:24,320 Don't be ridiculous, it's not magic. 222 00:09:24,321 --> 00:09:26,280 You got to wear it for a few days, spit on it, 223 00:09:26,281 --> 00:09:27,650 and bury it in the backyard. 224 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,531 Then you get a baby. 225 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,950 Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. 226 00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:34,200 Anything we can do? 227 00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,070 A rain dance? Jump in a volcano? 228 00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:40,361 You want to jump in a volcano, I'm not going to stop you. 229 00:09:42,411 --> 00:09:43,950 Peggy, it's real sweet of you to try to help, 230 00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,360 but I don't think Molly is, like, really going to... 231 00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:47,820 Bup-bup-bup-bup. Okay. 232 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,860 How many days, how much spit, 233 00:09:49,861 --> 00:09:51,798 and how deep do I have to bury it? 234 00:10:07,252 --> 00:10:09,461 I can't believe you dragged me to this place. 235 00:10:09,462 --> 00:10:11,001 Just relax, okay? We're gonna hear what she says, 236 00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:12,421 and if you don't like it, we'll leave. 237 00:10:12,422 --> 00:10:14,501 That sounds like the same thing you said when you tricked me 238 00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,291 into going to that time-share thing. 239 00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:18,171 Man, we had to stay until the first break 240 00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:19,972 or we wouldn't have got the rolling suitcases. 241 00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:22,751 Hello, Carl. 242 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,081 I see you brought a friend. 243 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,791 Ah, I told you she was good. 244 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,341 Uh, Mike, this is Madame Vianne. 245 00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:29,381 Madame Vianne, my best friend and spiritual brother, 246 00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:30,381 Mike Biggs. 247 00:10:30,382 --> 00:10:31,631 Nice to meet you. 248 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,341 But, just to be clear, uh, I-I didn't want to come. 249 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,711 Oh, I sensed that. 250 00:10:35,712 --> 00:10:37,292 - Mm, very intuitive. - Shut up. 251 00:10:38,422 --> 00:10:39,841 But you wouldn't have come at all 252 00:10:39,842 --> 00:10:41,582 unless you were looking for answers. 253 00:10:42,712 --> 00:10:43,922 True. 254 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,341 I sense there's a hole 255 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:50,461 and you're waiting for something to fill it. 256 00:10:50,462 --> 00:10:52,001 Something you fear will never come. 257 00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:53,751 Mm-hmm. 258 00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:55,421 And it's not just affecting you, 259 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,921 it's affecting someone you love very much. 260 00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,501 Mm-hmm. 261 00:10:59,502 --> 00:11:00,921 And if this hole is filled, 262 00:11:00,922 --> 00:11:04,631 it will make the two of you happier than you've ever been. 263 00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:06,341 Mm-hmm. 264 00:11:06,342 --> 00:11:08,421 Didn't I tell you she was good? 265 00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:09,422 Mm-hmm. 266 00:11:20,752 --> 00:11:22,921 Look, I'm just gonna be straight. 267 00:11:22,922 --> 00:11:26,421 I, uh, I just jumped on your bandwagon 268 00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:29,791 this afternoon, but you know that and... 269 00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:33,171 Had my issues with you in the past: the... 270 00:11:33,172 --> 00:11:35,631 the wars and the diseases. 271 00:11:35,632 --> 00:11:37,776 I mean, come on, the Cubs. 272 00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:42,131 But I think we can put all that aside 273 00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:46,081 and just kind of get Mama a baby. 274 00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:49,382 Amen. Please and... thank you. Yes. 275 00:11:51,462 --> 00:11:52,711 - What are you doing? - What? 276 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,251 - Are you praying? - No. 277 00:11:54,252 --> 00:11:56,581 Well, yeah, praying that I find the earring 278 00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:57,921 that I dro... Oh, you know what? 279 00:11:57,922 --> 00:12:00,211 It's right there. Last place you ever look. 280 00:12:00,212 --> 00:12:03,421 Right in the old... ear. How was your day? 281 00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,421 Good, good, good. Yours? 282 00:12:05,422 --> 00:12:06,581 Good. 283 00:12:06,582 --> 00:12:07,631 Great. 284 00:12:07,632 --> 00:12:09,081 Excellent. 285 00:12:09,082 --> 00:12:11,171 - Did you talk to Jesus today? - What? 286 00:12:11,172 --> 00:12:12,581 About fixing the front door? 287 00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:13,841 Oh, Jesus. 288 00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:15,631 - Yeah. - Uh... 289 00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:18,211 No, I-I didn't hear back from him. 290 00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:19,421 Well, it's like I always said, 291 00:12:19,422 --> 00:12:20,921 "It'll happen when it happens." 292 00:12:20,922 --> 00:12:21,921 - So true. - Yeah. 293 00:12:21,922 --> 00:12:23,421 It's in his hands now. 294 00:12:23,422 --> 00:12:25,291 May he be guided by the oracle of light. 295 00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,541 - What? - What? 296 00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:28,251 Nothing, sweetie. 297 00:12:28,252 --> 00:12:30,251 - Good night. - Okay. 298 00:12:30,252 --> 00:12:31,788 Good night. 299 00:12:38,752 --> 00:12:40,921 Are you as big of a mess as I am? 300 00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,251 Worse. 301 00:12:42,252 --> 00:12:46,041 That makes me feel so much better. 302 00:12:46,042 --> 00:12:47,082 - Night. - Good night. 303 00:12:56,962 --> 00:12:58,961 Any word from the adoption agency? 304 00:12:58,962 --> 00:13:02,171 No, but now I got a $60 rock in my pocket 305 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,751 that Madame Vianne says 306 00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:05,841 is supposed to attract positive energy. 307 00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:10,381 Okay, first of all... 308 00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:13,212 it's not a rock. 309 00:13:15,582 --> 00:13:17,291 It's a amethyst, okay? 310 00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:19,461 And secondly, you're supposed to be carrying it 311 00:13:19,462 --> 00:13:20,881 on your left side. 312 00:13:20,882 --> 00:13:23,882 It ain't no opal. What are you thinking? 313 00:13:25,712 --> 00:13:26,921 I feel like a fool. 314 00:13:26,922 --> 00:13:28,081 You are not a fool. 315 00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:29,501 You're just a man who wants a baby 316 00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,341 and you're gonna do whatever it takes to make that happen. 317 00:13:31,342 --> 00:13:34,131 Even if it means listening to some crazy gypsy. 318 00:13:34,132 --> 00:13:35,131 Gypsy? 319 00:13:35,132 --> 00:13:36,422 No, she's from Toronto. 320 00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:40,961 Wait, Madame Vianne? That charlatan? 321 00:13:40,962 --> 00:13:43,541 Any amateur magician could do what she does. 322 00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:44,961 Oh, you just got sour grapes 'cause 323 00:13:44,962 --> 00:13:46,341 she said you'll never get married. 324 00:13:46,342 --> 00:13:47,671 No. 325 00:13:47,672 --> 00:13:49,922 She didn't say "never," she said "not in this lifetime." 326 00:13:51,542 --> 00:13:53,632 Same as when I asked her out. 327 00:13:57,582 --> 00:13:59,461 What do you suppose she meant when she said 328 00:13:59,462 --> 00:14:03,922 I would never receive a new love until I let go of an old love? 329 00:14:05,632 --> 00:14:08,211 Don't you even think of getting rid of me. 330 00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:11,581 Why not? We had a good run. 331 00:14:11,582 --> 00:14:13,251 Hey, you've never had a good run. 332 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:14,252 Okay. 333 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,922 See? I can be hurtful, too. 334 00:14:19,082 --> 00:14:20,501 Yeah, I just don't get it. 335 00:14:20,502 --> 00:14:22,671 Molly and I have done everything to get ready for this baby. 336 00:14:22,672 --> 00:14:24,921 We, uh, we got a crib, a nursery, a Diaper Genie. 337 00:14:24,922 --> 00:14:26,381 I just... I went out and bought 338 00:14:26,382 --> 00:14:28,461 the safest car seat on the market. 339 00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:30,461 Mm. Well, good luck wedging it into the backseat 340 00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:31,461 of that muscle car. 341 00:14:31,462 --> 00:14:33,711 I've ridden back there. 342 00:14:33,712 --> 00:14:35,081 Never been more cramped. 343 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,421 And I was smuggled into this country in an oil drum. 344 00:14:39,382 --> 00:14:41,751 Look, quit trashing the Challenger. 345 00:14:41,752 --> 00:14:43,581 It's a Hemi V-8 with a Scat Pack. 346 00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,081 470 horses under the hood. 347 00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:47,881 Might not be a practical family car, 348 00:14:47,882 --> 00:14:50,252 but it's my baby and I love it. 349 00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:01,422 Knows all. Sees all. 350 00:15:09,462 --> 00:15:12,461 Okay, we need to go at least two feet deep. 351 00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:15,041 Then we bury St. William and we don't dig him up 352 00:15:15,042 --> 00:15:17,421 until he gives us a child. 353 00:15:17,422 --> 00:15:20,381 Are you sure this is sanctioned by the Church? 354 00:15:20,382 --> 00:15:22,961 Well, anything goes with that new Pope, 355 00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:25,751 but, you know, they bury St. Joseph 356 00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,171 when they want to sell their house, 357 00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:29,341 so this just makes sense. 358 00:15:29,342 --> 00:15:30,921 Yeah, yeah, it kind of does. 359 00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:33,251 It feels right. 360 00:15:33,252 --> 00:15:34,631 Uh, two feet exactly, 361 00:15:34,632 --> 00:15:36,961 or who knows what we're gonna conjure up. 362 00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:38,341 It's my first grandchild, 363 00:15:38,342 --> 00:15:41,131 I don't need it to have cloven feet. 364 00:15:41,132 --> 00:15:44,791 I think you might be more baby crazy than I am. 365 00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:46,421 - Oh, maybe I am. - Yeah. 366 00:15:46,422 --> 00:15:49,252 I worked two jobs while I was raising Mikey. 367 00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:52,581 He was usually asleep before I got home. 368 00:15:52,582 --> 00:15:55,581 Couldn't even be there to cook him a decent meal. 369 00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:59,501 Half the time he'd fix himself a bowl of cereal for dinner. 370 00:15:59,502 --> 00:16:02,881 Well, I mean, you were a single mom. 371 00:16:02,882 --> 00:16:05,212 Plus, he loves cereal. 372 00:16:06,252 --> 00:16:08,582 I just want another run at it is all. 373 00:16:10,132 --> 00:16:12,131 I may not have been the perfect mother, 374 00:16:12,132 --> 00:16:14,421 but... I'll tell you this: 375 00:16:14,422 --> 00:16:16,542 I'm gonna be the best damn grandma. 376 00:16:18,462 --> 00:16:21,251 I don't doubt that. 377 00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:24,211 You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Peggy. 378 00:16:24,212 --> 00:16:26,001 I mean, you raised a good man. 379 00:16:26,002 --> 00:16:27,671 He's loving 380 00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:30,541 and kind and level-headed and... 381 00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:38,081 Mike, what is this? Where is the Challenger? 382 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:40,421 Don't worry, there's a logical explanation. 383 00:16:40,422 --> 00:16:42,291 Carl's psychic convinced me to trade it in 384 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,461 so we can get a baby. 385 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,381 You realize that sounds ridiculous. 386 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,041 Are we digging this hole or not? 387 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,921 We'll talk later. Your mom and I 388 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,381 are burying a saint in the backyard. 389 00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:54,042 That's how you get a baby. 390 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:57,921 Well, what are you talking to me for? 391 00:16:57,922 --> 00:16:59,581 - Get to digging! - All right. 392 00:16:59,582 --> 00:17:01,211 Oh, here. Toss in this magic rock. 393 00:17:01,212 --> 00:17:02,581 Can't hurt to hedge our bets. 394 00:17:02,582 --> 00:17:04,421 Hey, Ma. Come check out the minivan. 395 00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:06,922 It's got 19 cup holders. 396 00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:21,187 Right when I spit in the hole, 397 00:17:21,188 --> 00:17:23,267 that's when I knew I'd gone off the deep end. 398 00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:26,437 No, I went to Carl's psychic. 399 00:17:26,438 --> 00:17:28,227 Carl's psychic. 400 00:17:28,228 --> 00:17:30,017 Sit with that for a second. 401 00:17:30,018 --> 00:17:33,307 We have got to stop acting like lunatics. 402 00:17:33,308 --> 00:17:34,847 Agreed. Nothing we're gonna do 403 00:17:34,848 --> 00:17:36,887 is going to make this baby happen any sooner. 404 00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:41,017 We've done all we can. All we can do now is wait. 405 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,057 Actually there is something we can do. 406 00:17:43,058 --> 00:17:45,728 We can get out of this house and away from that damn phone. 407 00:17:47,268 --> 00:17:48,267 Great idea. 408 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,687 All right, want to hit a drive-through, 409 00:17:49,688 --> 00:17:51,847 and have dinner and a movie in the van? 410 00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:53,267 Does that have a DVD player? 411 00:17:53,268 --> 00:17:55,227 I have never been more in love with you. 412 00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:00,057 That's got to be a telemarketer. 413 00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:02,347 Well, whoever it is, they can leave a message, 414 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,268 'cause I've got a date with my man in the back of a van. 415 00:18:09,148 --> 00:18:12,597 This message is for Mike Biggs and Molly Flynn. 416 00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:14,847 It's Isabelle from the adoption center. 417 00:18:14,848 --> 00:18:17,807 Congratulations. We have a mother who has selected you 418 00:18:17,808 --> 00:18:19,597 as the adoptive parents of her baby. 419 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,307 Uh, my number is 312... 420 00:18:22,308 --> 00:18:23,557 Don't hang up! Don't hang up! 421 00:18:23,558 --> 00:18:25,558 Don't hang up! 422 00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:30,971 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/