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Previously on Mike & Molly...
Molly is a writer now.
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Oh!
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Why didn't you say so?
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Let me clear a spot in my bookcase.
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Victoria, I saw Carl
in the hallway last night.
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I told him he should have
climbed out the window.
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What were you thinking?
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I was thinking nobody would see
him if he climbed out the window.
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No matter how we feel about each
other, you're still my family.
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I guess we are kind of
stuck with each other.
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Well, a little setback
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we thought we were
cutting through some old pipes
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and unfortunately
it was electrical conduit.
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I guess I'll have to stay with family.
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I knew that was gonna
bite me in the ass.
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Who's that cat?
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Get that cat.
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You better get that cat.
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Get him.
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What's going on?
It's Sunday morning.
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The neighbor's cat is causing trouble.
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Just put the dog down.
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He's too short to see
out the window on his own.
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I know.
That's why I put him up there.
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Who's that cat?
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Get that cat.
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How long is she gonna be here?
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Too long.
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Morning, young lovers.
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What are you doing up so early?
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Making breakfast in bed for Victoria.
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Speaking of which... where do
you keep your champagne flutes?
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Top shelf.
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Top shelf.
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Hey!
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Sit down!
I'll get 'em.
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Mmm.
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I must say, I outdid myself
with this coffee.
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I brought the beans from my house.
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I know. We saw your beans
and half your beanstalk.
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Don't take this the wrong way, but
it's a little early for th-this.
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Don't worry, it took Mike a while
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to warm up to my sunny
disposition in the morning, too.
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You know, you get used to it.
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Or you don't.
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Hey. Love Machine.
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Is that your Blazer in the driveway?
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You're blocking us in.
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Oh.
Wait.
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Are you wearing my mini-mono?
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My apologies. I will launder
it after I move my car.
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Anybody else have any delicates
they want me to throw in?
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You got room for a sweaty girdle?
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Mi washa es su washa.
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Hey, baby, where's mama's mimosas?
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Mimosas?
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We're getting drunk before noon.
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Well, if we're not going to yoga,
you can wash my girdle, too.
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What is happening?
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Maybe we're dead and this is hell.
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Now we got a party.
I'll get the glasses.
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Congratulations.
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Thank you.
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♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
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♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
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♪ For the first time in my life ♪
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♪ I see love ♪
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♪ I see love ♪
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♪ For the first time in my life ♪
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♪ I see love ♪
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Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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Now that we both have a Flynn girl,
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it opens up a whole new world
of social activities
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for the four of us.
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Couples tennis?
No.
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Four-handed bridge?
No.
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Chicken leg dominoes?
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Even if I knew what that was,
I'd still say no.
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Come on, you got to work with me here.
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How am I supposed to be
the Barney to your Fred
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if we're not coming up with
funny adventures
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for our Wilma and Bettys?
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I need a break, Carl. Okay?
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I see you at work, I see you at home,
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I see you at night,
I see you in the morning.
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You're everywhere I am.
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Like gum I sat in
that won't... shut... up.
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Good morning, gentlemen.
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Why are you so happy?
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The same reason you are so miserable.
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My roommate has been
rooming with you for...
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five glorious days!
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Yeah, well, believe me,
the feeling is mutual.
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It's nice to be around people
who appreciate me.
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Who are they?
Do they live at my house, too?
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Seriously, why-why can't you
take Victoria
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to you and Samuel's apartment?
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Oh. Mike, please...
let's not rock the boat.
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Especially when one of
those boats has an empty bedroom
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and the new captain
likes to walk around it naked.
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You better not be
bare-assing it on my couch.
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Says the man whose butt cheeks
left a cocoa butter oil streak
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on my kitchen chairs.
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Hey, if you got a problem
with me moisturizing my buns,
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you better take it up
with your sister-in-law.
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'Cause she likes her baby's behind
to be like a baby's behind.
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Oh...
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He's all yours.
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Hello?
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Molly, you in there?
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I hear you.
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Oh. Hey.
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Is that you, Peggy?
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You know what, sometimes this...
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Oh, my God, the door
sticks in the humidity.
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Here's your mail.
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Thank you.
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You sure pay a lot for cable.
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You read my mail?
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It was half opened.
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You might want to keep an eye
on your postman.
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I can't place his nationality,
but whatever it is,
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I don't care for it.
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Oh, my God.
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Oh, my God, I got in.
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What?
Oh! I got in!
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Wh-What is
going on with you?!
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The Iowa Writer's Workshop...
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I've been accepted into
their summer writing program!
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Never been a fan of Iowa...
full of pigs and Democrats.
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Okay, this is one of the most
prestigious writing programs
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in the entire country.
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I mean, they-they...
out of 1,600 applicants,
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they only accept ten,
and I am one of the ten.
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Wait a minute, are you actually
good at this writing thing?
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I am. I mean, I-I didn't think
I was this good.
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Oh. Are you sure they
didn't make a mistake?
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Uh, that's my name!
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Peggy, yeah, read that!
Read that!
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That's my name.
All right.
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I'm gonna be living my dream
in Iowa for eight weeks.
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How are you gonna ruin that,
Peggy, huh?
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Eight weeks?
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Does Mike know about all this?
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Damn it, you always find a way.
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Hey, sweetie.
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Hey.
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Oh, why the long face?
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Oh.
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Victoria!
Honey, I'm home!
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I love this.
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It's like living in a sitcom.
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I hope they kill off your character.
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This guy.
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Okay, okay.
Drop the bag.
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Just sit down, forget
about Carl and enjoy.
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Shake 'n Bake?
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Either I did something good,
or you did something bad.
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What?
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No. I think you need
to stop pointing a finger
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and start licking a finger.
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Whoa. Is that Shake 'n Bake?
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Not for you.
Why? There's plenty.
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Vince, I'm just trying
to have a quiet dinner
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with my husband. Get out.
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I would love to, but Joyce
asked me to clean the fridge.
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And I should really get on that.
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Right now.
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At this most inopportune moment.
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Just give him a piece of chicken.
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Two, or I'm defrosting the freezer.
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I hope you choke.
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I might. Looks a little dry.
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Scram!
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I don't know how much more
of this I can take.
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There are seven people
in a three-bedroom house,
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and you're the only one I like.
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Well, I'm sure we'll get through it.
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You know, sometimes we...
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we'll have to make sacrifices,
knowing that in the future
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it will all be worth it.
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I know. I know.
My mom will move back home,
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and then it'll just be me and Carl
and Victoria and Joyce and Vince.
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Am I leaving anybody out?
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Only me.
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Hey, there's my boy!
How you doing? Oh.
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Good, good.
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Yup, we're just... just
sitting down to a nice dinner.
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Chicken. Smart.
It'll cushion the blow.
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What blow?
No blow, no blow.
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Here you go.
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Thank you. Good-bye.
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Whoa, whoa.
What the hell you doing?
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You're giving her all the thighs.
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Give it up.
You been made.
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What is she talking about?
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I have some exciting news.
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More for her than you.
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Will you shut up.
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What is going on?
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Well, um...
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I've been accepted into
one of the most prestigious
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writing programs in the country.
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Honey, that's great!
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Yeah.
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In Iowa.
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For eight weeks.
Okay, you know what?
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Now no chicken. Now
you get no chicken.
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No chicken.
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So you're gonna
leave me for two months?
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00:09:01,135 --> 00:09:06,173
Or I'm gonna stay with
you for ten months.
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00:09:06,174 --> 00:09:07,740
Hmm?
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00:09:07,742 --> 00:09:09,875
Who wants a thigh?
You want a thigh?
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00:09:09,877 --> 00:09:12,978
Aw. Unbelievable!
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You did this on purpose.
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00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:19,885
Yeah, maybe.
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00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:21,888
Mike, it's an opportunity
of a lifetime.
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Oh, I'm sure it is!
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I can't believe
you did this whole deal
220
00:09:25,593 --> 00:09:27,260
without even talking to me about it.
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00:09:27,261 --> 00:09:28,695
Well, we're about it talking now.
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00:09:28,696 --> 00:09:30,564
No, you're telling me.
Talking about it would be,
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00:09:30,565 --> 00:09:32,599
"Honey, I'm thinking about
applying for an out-of-state
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00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,933
workshop for a couple months.
You okay with that?"
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00:09:34,935 --> 00:09:37,202
Are you okay with that?
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00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:39,805
Not now I'm not, no.
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00:09:39,807 --> 00:09:41,173
Keep it down.
I'm eating.
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00:09:41,175 --> 00:09:42,675
Stay out of this.
Mike, would you just
229
00:09:42,676 --> 00:09:43,942
give me a chance to explain?
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Something smells good.
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00:09:45,646 --> 00:09:47,913
Chicken. It's not.
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00:09:49,282 --> 00:09:51,518
I cannot believe
you're okay leaving me alone
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00:09:51,519 --> 00:09:53,686
in this mental hospital.
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00:09:53,687 --> 00:09:55,955
I'm sorry. I know I
should've handled it better,
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00:09:55,956 --> 00:09:57,557
but, I mean, it's a very
prestigious program.
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00:09:57,558 --> 00:09:59,726
You could at least try
to be happy for me.
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00:09:59,727 --> 00:10:01,694
That's all I do is be happy for you.
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00:10:01,695 --> 00:10:03,896
I was happy for you
when you quit your job,
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00:10:03,897 --> 00:10:06,065
I was happy for you
when you became a writer.
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Well, guess what?
I'm not happy you're going!
241
00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:10,235
And you don't seem to care about that.
242
00:10:13,873 --> 00:10:15,807
Move your car, Barney!
243
00:10:16,642 --> 00:10:18,744
Coming, Fred!
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00:10:31,473 --> 00:10:33,175
Oh, I really messed this up.
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Oh, good, you know.
246
00:10:37,146 --> 00:10:38,313
What do I do?
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00:10:38,314 --> 00:10:40,516
I mean, I-I want
to attend this workshop,
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but not if it's gonna
jeopardize my marriage.
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Oh, please.
250
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Your marriage will be just fine.
251
00:10:44,954 --> 00:10:45,888
How do you know?
252
00:10:45,889 --> 00:10:47,489
Because I know your husband.
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00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:49,057
He'll whine, he'll cry,
254
00:10:49,058 --> 00:10:51,392
he'll bitch, he'll moan,
then he'll come around.
255
00:10:51,394 --> 00:10:52,527
You think so?
256
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:54,129
He hit the jackpot with you.
257
00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:55,697
He knows that.
That's true.
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00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:59,133
You could go to an eight-week
orgy and he'd still be waiting.
259
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,469
With flowers.
260
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,006
I don't know. He stormed out
on Shake 'n Bake.
261
00:11:05,007 --> 00:11:06,874
That is... that is big.
262
00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:09,444
It's real simple, honey.
263
00:11:09,445 --> 00:11:13,982
When he comes back, tell him
you're sorry, say you screwed up,
264
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:15,951
then you throw yourself on your sword.
265
00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:18,185
Then you throw yourself on his sword.
266
00:11:18,187 --> 00:11:20,721
Oh! Ugh.
267
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,490
You can "ugh" all you want.
268
00:11:22,491 --> 00:11:24,458
That's solid advice.
269
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:28,295
Why do I even talk to you two?
270
00:11:28,297 --> 00:11:30,131
Because you know
we'll tell you the truth.
271
00:11:30,132 --> 00:11:31,965
And you've driven everyone else away.
272
00:11:44,813 --> 00:11:47,215
It's a very prestigious program.
273
00:11:47,216 --> 00:11:48,683
Stop saying that word.
274
00:11:48,684 --> 00:11:49,717
All right.
275
00:11:49,718 --> 00:11:53,220
But me not saying it doesn't
make it any less mm-hmm-hmm.
276
00:11:59,627 --> 00:12:02,630
Why didn't she tell me she was
signing up for some workshop?
277
00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:04,032
I tell her everything.
278
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:05,233
Uh, technically, that's not true.
279
00:12:05,234 --> 00:12:06,501
What are you talking about?
280
00:12:06,502 --> 00:12:10,471
Those girly magazines you get
delivered to my apartment.
281
00:12:10,472 --> 00:12:12,806
That's not about Molly.
282
00:12:12,808 --> 00:12:15,343
That's about me wanting to get
to them before Vince does.
283
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:18,378
Once he paws through them,
they're no good to me.
284
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,615
Listen, you know this is
285
00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,583
a wonderful opportunity
for your wife. I know.
286
00:12:22,584 --> 00:12:24,218
It's probably gonna open
a ton of doors for her.
287
00:12:24,219 --> 00:12:25,486
Then what's the problem?
288
00:12:25,487 --> 00:12:26,721
Well, that's the problem.
289
00:12:26,722 --> 00:12:28,289
She gets back, she's gonna have
290
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,891
all these new experiences
that I wasn't a part of.
291
00:12:30,893 --> 00:12:34,095
She's gonna write a novel, get famous,
292
00:12:34,096 --> 00:12:36,429
and hang out with
all these literary types.
293
00:12:36,431 --> 00:12:38,598
She will hobnob, Carl.
294
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,036
That's ridiculous.
295
00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:44,471
Worst case scenario, she
takes a lover on the side.
296
00:12:47,541 --> 00:12:50,276
With any luck, a lesbian lover.
297
00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:59,219
You and me... we
need a break.
298
00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:01,989
I get it, I get it.
299
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,825
I'll just be over here.
300
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,828
Give you a little solitude.
301
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,497
Let you gather your thoughts.
302
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,167
Be on your own for a little... Carl!
303
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,435
All right, all right.
304
00:13:17,237 --> 00:13:19,806
I do miss you.
305
00:13:28,048 --> 00:13:29,015
Hello.
306
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,584
Oh.
307
00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:33,119
Hey. I didn't see you out here.
308
00:13:33,121 --> 00:13:34,488
I had to get the laundry in.
309
00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:36,089
I didn't want your pervy neighbor
310
00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:39,091
climbing the fence
to sniff my intimates.
311
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,161
Here, help me fold this sheet.
312
00:13:44,298 --> 00:13:47,301
So... about this
writing program...
313
00:13:47,302 --> 00:13:49,436
Can we please
not talk about it?
314
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:52,372
I know I'm selfish and a horrible
wife and I shouldn't go.
315
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,007
You know, when I was younger than you,
316
00:13:54,008 --> 00:13:56,342
I had a situation just like you have.
317
00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:57,344
Really?
318
00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:58,310
Oh, yeah.
319
00:13:58,312 --> 00:14:00,113
Opportunity of a lifetime.
320
00:14:00,114 --> 00:14:03,649
They wanted to up me
to manager at Bennigan's.
321
00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:05,519
Are you messing with me?
322
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:06,519
Nope.
323
00:14:06,521 --> 00:14:07,687
They really did.
324
00:14:07,688 --> 00:14:09,689
They wanted to send me
to Philly for training.
325
00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,725
Mike's dad had just
started on the force,
326
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,426
and he didn't want me to go.
327
00:14:13,427 --> 00:14:15,294
So... I didn't go.
328
00:14:15,296 --> 00:14:17,564
Sorry, I'm just trying
to get my head around
329
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,467
somebody telling you what to do
and you actually doing it.
330
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,702
I was being the good wife.
331
00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:25,939
Ah. And that's what you think
I should do?
332
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:27,306
Be the good wife?
333
00:14:27,308 --> 00:14:28,641
Hell no.
334
00:14:28,642 --> 00:14:31,477
That wifely duty crap
cost me my dream.
335
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:34,447
I could have been a manager,
336
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:38,218
saved up, bought a franchise
and opened a restaurant.
337
00:14:38,219 --> 00:14:40,053
Maybe even had my own chain.
338
00:14:40,054 --> 00:14:43,188
Peggigan's.
339
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:45,158
I had no idea.
340
00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:50,196
Well, you know me, I don't
like to be a downer.
341
00:14:50,197 --> 00:14:54,700
I'm just saying, you love
writing, I love feeding people.
342
00:14:54,702 --> 00:14:58,003
I'd hate to see you make
the same mistake I did.
343
00:14:58,871 --> 00:15:04,177
Thank you for... sharing your...
Bennigan's dream with me.
344
00:15:04,178 --> 00:15:06,111
Don't mention it.
345
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,014
I mean it.
346
00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:10,383
As far as the boy knows,
you're the selfish wife
347
00:15:10,384 --> 00:15:12,051
and I'm the sympathetic mother.
Got it?
348
00:15:12,052 --> 00:15:13,752
Got it.
Fold.
349
00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:21,627
Hey.
Hi.
350
00:15:21,628 --> 00:15:24,830
Where's Mike? Oh, we got a new deal.
I can keep sleeping over
351
00:15:24,831 --> 00:15:26,499
as long as I give him
an eight-foot perimeter.
352
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,433
Oh, he's closing in.
353
00:15:27,434 --> 00:15:28,833
I got to go.
354
00:15:33,472 --> 00:15:34,940
Hi.
355
00:15:34,941 --> 00:15:37,243
Hi.
356
00:15:37,244 --> 00:15:40,913
You, uh... mind
if I join you?
357
00:15:40,914 --> 00:15:43,414
I was hoping you would.
358
00:15:44,718 --> 00:15:48,487
Listen... I'm sorry I
walked out like that.
359
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:50,122
Don't be.
360
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:54,193
Well, it's just the-the whole thing
kind of took me by surprise.
361
00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:56,095
Well, that's my fault.
362
00:15:56,096 --> 00:15:58,097
I should have included you
from the beginning.
363
00:15:58,098 --> 00:15:59,999
That would have been nice.
364
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,734
You know I would've told you to go.
365
00:16:01,735 --> 00:16:03,335
I know.
366
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:06,505
So why didn't you tell me?
367
00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:09,541
I just figured...
I was never gonna get in,
368
00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:13,946
and I was too embarrassed
to even talk about it.
369
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:18,249
Lady, you have no idea
how great you are.
370
00:16:18,251 --> 00:16:22,087
You're smart, you're talented.
371
00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:23,355
Huh?
372
00:16:23,356 --> 00:16:27,258
And you can do anything
that you set that mind to.
373
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:28,659
Thank you.
374
00:16:30,529 --> 00:16:33,498
I'm sorry I'm leaving you
here with the lunatics.
375
00:16:33,499 --> 00:16:35,400
Your Taser's working, right?
376
00:16:37,103 --> 00:16:38,403
Don't worry about me.
377
00:16:38,404 --> 00:16:40,405
'Cause you're gonna go to that program
378
00:16:40,406 --> 00:16:42,407
and you're gonna write
something amazing.
379
00:16:42,408 --> 00:16:44,242
And it's gonna sell so many books,
380
00:16:44,243 --> 00:16:46,411
we're gonna be able to
move out of this house.
381
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:47,779
Ooh.
382
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:55,619
And, uh... I will be your proud
husband as long as you'll have me.
383
00:16:57,455 --> 00:16:59,157
Are you kidding?
384
00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:02,293
I'll have you as long as you're
willing to put up with me.
385
00:17:02,294 --> 00:17:06,494
That is a deal.
386
00:17:06,495 --> 00:17:08,062
I hid some Shake 'n Bake for you.
387
00:17:08,063 --> 00:17:11,272
Oh, I just fell in
love all over again.
388
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:17,860
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/