- I thought it was toe fingers.
- Whatcha you want for lunch?
- Uh, I'm not sure.
Hey, festus!
- Hello, buddy.
Welcome to lunch.
- Whatcha got today? - Let's see.
I have the spaghetti, the ravioli.
- Oh, I love ravioli. - You let me finish!
- Ok. Sorry.
Go ahead. Finish.
- That's all we got, the spaghetti and the ravioli.
- I'll have the ravioli.
- Yeah, me too.
- I will get your foods.
- Hi. What's for lunch?
- Oh, he's got the spaghetti, the ravioli.
Ravioli?
- You let her finish!
- Oh, hey, I just wanted to remind you guys
that I'm going away to Cancun with Beck's
family for semester break and you
guys have nothing fun to do.
- So you got nothing to do for semester break?
- No.
- Come to the back of my truck.
- He wants you to go behind his truck.
- I know.
Ravioli.
- Like pasta pillows.
- You got a nice truck.
- Don't lie to me. - I'm sorry.
- Listen... how would you and your friends
like to take a trip to my home country, yerba?
- Yerba?
- It's a very exotic island.
- Like Hawaii?
- Sure, yeah, like that.
- My brother, he's in charge of best hotel
in yerba, and my people, they love to see
American-style entertainment.
Bit of singing, the dancing.
So if you and your friends will sing and dance at the hotel,
my brother will make your whole trip for free.
- That sounds amazing.
- So you take down my brother's phone number in yerba.
- Ok. - You reach him by dialing 0, 5.
- 0, 5. - 6, 3, 1.
- 7, 7, 1.
- 8, 1.
- 3, 6, 5.
- 7, 5, 2.
8, 3, 6.
- 8, 3, 6.
-6 ,7. -6, 7.
- 7, 4, 3. - Come on, buddy!
♪ Here I am once again ♪
♪ feeling lost but now and then ♪
♪ I breathe it in to let it go ♪
♪ and you don't know where you are now ♪
♪ what it will come to if only somebody could hear ♪
♪ when you figure out how you're lost in the moment ♪
♪ you disappear ♪
♪ you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action ♪
♪ you're never gonna fade ♪
♪ you'll be the main attraction ♪
♪ not a fantasy ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when it turns out right ♪
♪ 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination ♪
♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination ♪
♪ in my victory ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when I make it shine ♪♪
- So I called his brother as soon as I got home,
and it's true-- they'll pay for our plane fares,
our hotel rooms, our food,
and all we have to do is one performance a night.
- That sounds so fun.
- And this island, uh--
- yerba. - It's a cool place?
- Yeah. Festus said it's kind of like Hawaii.
- Mm. - Oh!
And I went to the official yerba website, and look.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, a white sand beach.
- Computer.
Ok, so if your parents say it's cool, do guys want to do it?
- Yeah, sure. - Awesome!
Here, check out some more pics of the resort.
- All right, cool.
- I'm never playing mini golf with you guys again!
- Promise?
- What happened?
- Trina missed a put, so she got upset
and threw a golf club at her father.
- No, I threw my golf club, and dad just stood there
and let it hit him.
- Well... that was fun.
- Oh, honey.
It's throbbing.
Trina, get an ice pack.
- No! I have to go paint my nails.
- But...
- Ohh, it is throbbing.
- Yes.
Yes, thank you, baby. Ohh.
- Oh, hey, did you talk to your friends about yerba?
- Yeah, I think we're all going.
- Good! You're taking trina. - No.
- Yes. - You are taking trina.
- Not happening.
- We'll buy you a car.
- Any car you want.
You don't even have to bring her back!
- My mom says Rex and I can go to yerba,
but there has to be an adult chaperone.
- I thought your mom moved out.
- She's giving me one more chance.
- Of course you have to have an adult chaperone.
- Why? I'm 16.
- Adult chaperone or no trip. - Dad.
- Please don't argue with me while my nose is throbbing.
- Ugh!
- Um, uh, could I feel your throbbing nose?
- Walk away.
- Yes, sir.
- Yerba? - Yeah.
It's a small island just off the coast of--
- oh, I know where it is.
I spent two weeks in yerba when I was 23.
- Cool.
So what's it like?
- I remember nothing of that trip.
- Well, do you want to be our chaperone?
- To what?
- Our trip to yerba.
- Yerba?
I spent two weeks there when I was 23.
- Will you just be our chaperone?
- Of course!
- Yay!
- So, who all is coming?
- Ok, it's gonna be me, Andre, cat--
- no, I don't wanna ask her!
No! - Come on! Come on.
- Yah!
- We'll both ask her.
- What's going on?
- My aunt says we can't go to Cancun.
- Ohh, how come?
- She found out I was bringing Jade.
- Ha!
- So we hear some of you guys are going to yerba.
- Yes.
Yes, we are.
Would you like to come to yerba with us, Beck?
- Oh, that'd be great. Thanks.
- Hmm.
- Jade... do you have a question for me?
- Can I come to yerba?
- Hm.
Maybe... but first you gotta give me a hug.
Come on. Just do it.
Ohh, see?
Giving Tori a big old hug isn't such a bad thing.
Ok.
That's really tight.
Oh god, help me!
- So I was dialing one of those things where--
- this dump is our hotel?
- Yeah.
- Gross.
- Now I'm kind of glad I don't remember this place.
- Hello!
Hello to you, buddies.
Which is Tori vega?
- Oh, that's me.
Are you festus's brother?
- Yes, buddy!
I am sgrodis.
Is happy to meet you.
- Why?
- It's a yerbanian custom.
See?
It says, "in yerba when people greet each other,
"they will often sniff each other's hands
as a sign of friendship."
- Oh, that-- that's ok.
- Uh, so how you all like the hotel?
- Well, um..
- Uh...
- It's disgusting.
- She said what?
- Uh... this hotel--
it doesn't really look like the picture we saw online.
- Oh, the picture, yes.
There she is.
- So where's that hotel?
- I don't know. Maybe Cancun?
I will go get someone to help you with your bags.
- I don't like this place at all.
- Festus said this hotel was nice?
- Ok, this isn't my fault. - Yeah, it is.
- How was I supposed to know?
- Hey, buddies.
This is kerploch.
He will take your luggages.
- Hello.
We are so happy to be in your country.
- Please!
Someone help me.
No!
Help!
Let go, let go, let go!
Please!
Please...
- Is there another bellman that could help us?
- And here you go.
- Thanks.
Well, here are the keys to your rooms.
- Those are screwdrivers.
- I know.
He said to stick it in the keyhole and jiggle it.
- What'd he you say about the indoor swimming pool?
- Well, um, apparently... This country is sort of at war,
so the swimming pool here is currently
filled with ammunition.
- And where's the white sand beach?
- Yeah, where's the beach?
- It's been taken over by rebels.
- Ok, so before you booked our trip here,
you forgot to find out that this is the worst country on earth?
- Yeah.
- Jade, don't be such a crabby Cathy.
- I have every right to be a crabby Cathy.
That's ok. I get it. Custom.
- Uh, crabby Cathy's about to get a little bit crabbier.
Hey!
- Get your hands off my boyfriend's head.
- Ok, Robbie and I just looked at our rooms,
and there's no way I'm staying here.
- Me neither.
- What's so bad about your rooms?
- Well, we can start with the foreign man
I found in my closet.
- And there was a grenade in my toilet.
There's nicer hotels in northridge.
- Ah! Aah, agh!
- What's wrong? - Something bit my neck.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looked like a moth.
- Are you ok? - A moth?
- What happened?
- A moth bit our friend's neck.
- Was it about this big and black like the night?
- Yeah.
- Ah, that was a vampire moth.
- Well, is he gonna be ok?
- Of course.
Being bitten by a vampire moth is very good luck.
- Ohh. - Wait.
But it says here that a bite from a vampire moth
could kill you.
- Yes, but if you live, you are very lucky.
- How can she sleep in the middle of the war?
- I don't like this hotel.
- Oh, come on, guys.
It's just bombs.
You know, I-- I'm sure that the--
- Stop!
- Dude! Wha--
- Robbie!
- Hi.
- Get out of our room.
- No, I'm afraid to sleep alone.
- What about Andre and Beck?
- They made me sleep in the bathtub,
and... I saw a lizard in there.
- A lizard? - Oh, my god.
- You guys are such babies.
Just because this place isn't quite as cushy as America,
you make it seem like we're in the middle of--
- uhh!
- We are getting out of this country!
- Hey!
- Hello, buddies.
Who wants mushroom?
- No one!
- We are leaving this--
We are leaving this country!
- Right now.
- Oh, buddies.
- There they are.
- Ok, what's all the fizzy futz?
- We want to go ho-- oh, my god.
Look at Andre!
- What's on his neck?
- It's from his moth bite.
It won't stop growing.
- Oh, what's he saying?
- I think it was--
- Uh-huh. - Here.
It says, "a person who has been bitten by a vampire moth
"will often experience hallucinations
or bizarre speech patterns."
- Ok, I just woke up and found this sitting on my chest.
- Ew!
- A dead lizard?
- It's dead now.
Whoa, Andre! Who's your friend?
- Give us our plane tickets home right now!
- Why you want to leave yerba?
- Our friend is hallucinating!
- An escaped prisoner crashed through our window
and was dragged out by yerbanian soldiers!
- And our bed is lumpy.
- Ok, I'm very sorry about the troubles.
Here.
Everyone please enjoy a free can of yerbanian gravy.
- Yerbanian gravy?
- Made in prison?
- We don't want to eat your prison gravy.
- We are leaving country now!
- You kids promised to make singsong here for seven nights.
- Well, I'm afraid that's a promise
they're going to have to break.
- So... what song should we do tomorrow night?
- Hey, you know what?
Yerbanian gravy? Not so bad.
- ♪ Let's watch the sun come up ♪
- You're really gonna let your screech box of a sister
sing with us?
- The guys are gonna keep her mic turned off.
- Oh, that's swell news.
- I don't talk like that.
- Whatever.
- Hey! Hey, sikowitz.
- Hey, vega.
- How are we gonna do this performance if Andre's sick?
- Relax.
He's with the yerbanian doctor
right behind that... Stained sheet.
- Come, let's check on him.
- Hello.
- I don't like that.
Ok, where is the doctor?
- That's him.
There.
- What, the boy?
He's like 11.
- Almost 12.
- How is he, doc?
- Eh.
- That boy is not a doctor.
- No, but he is... The doctor's son.
- Well, where is the doctor?
- His boy is the best we could find.
- Is Andre going to be ok?
- Maybe. I gave him shot.
- Now I give him Lulu pop.
- Andre... you think you can perform tonight?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Tori! Tori! Tori... - Guess what!
- The chancellor of yerba is come to see us perform tonight.
- Good Gandhi!
- Who is the chancellor of yerba?
- Yes, who is that?
- Our chancellor-- he like your president.
- And look.
He only has one eye.
- What happened to his other eye?
- It stopped working
after he was bitten by vampire moth.
- What?!
- Nothing, buddy.
Forget about that.
Eat your Lulu pop.
- We'd like to welcome a most special guest,
the chancellor of this fine country.
And now we present trina vega.
- Andre Harris.
- Jade west.
- Cat Valentine.
- And Tori vega.
- Whoo!
- ♪ I feel delirious ♪
♪ come, let's get out of here ♪
♪ we're so anonymous, but ♪
♪ it's all coming clear ♪
♪ we're heading for the sky, and we'll get lost in it ♪
♪ cause all I want ♪
♪ all I want ♪
♪ all I want is everything ♪
♪ and I will pose if I wanna, and I will vogue like Madonna ♪
♪ I might not dance like mj, r.I.P. ♪
♪ But I will give the best of me ♪
♪ all I want is everything ♪
♪ yes, everything ♪
♪ too much is not enough ♪
♪ I'm sick of settling ♪
♪ for in between, and I'm not giving up ♪
♪ as long as it feels right ♪
♪ at least we'll know that we're alive ♪
♪ all I want is everything ♪
♪ yes, everything, yeah ♪
♪ oh whoa oh ♪
♪ we don't ever stop ♪
♪ let's watch the sun come up ♪
♪ we'll sleep when we're dead cause ♪
♪ halfway kind of sucks ♪
♪ we're heading for the sky ♪
♪ and we'll get lost in it cause all I want ♪
♪ all I want ♪
♪ all I want is everything ♪
♪ I will pose if I wanna ♪
♪ and I will vogue like Madonna ♪
♪ I might not dance like mj, r.I.P. ♪
♪ But I will give the best of me ♪
♪ all I want is everything ♪
- Aaaah!
- Stop the music!
- Your shoe hit the chancellor!
- In his last good eye!
- I'm so sorry.
My shoe just flew off, and I--
Stop it! What are you doing?
Get off of me!
- That is my sister!
- Wait! Where are they taking her?
- To the prison! - Ohh!
- Prison?
- I got away!
I got away! I got away!
- They got me again! They got me again!
They got me again.
Next on "victorious."
- Admit you did this to me on purpose!
- No, it was just a shoe malfunction.
- Guilty as charged!
- Four years in yerbanian prison.
- Now, wait a minute. - No, wait!
- It was just a shoe malfunction!
Will you guys just please get me out of here?
- We're trying.
- I'll be waiting in the duck truck behind there,
tomorrow night after dark.
- Hips. Hips.
Big arms...
- I think I know how we can break out of this place.
- ♪ Oh baby, I need one more chance, ha! ♪
♪ I tell you that I love you ♪
- ♪ now, baby ♪ - ♪ oh ♪
- ♪ baby ♪ - ♪ oh! ♪
- ♪ Hey baby ♪♪
♪ 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination ♪
♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination ♪
♪ in my victory ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when I make it shine ♪♪
- Mmm!
There was a grenade in my toilet.