♪♪
[YAWNING]
- I KNOW.
I KNOW. I LOOK TIRED AND AWFUL.
YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW? BECAUSE I WAS JUST
WALKING DOWN THE HALL
AND JESSE THE JANITOR GOES TO ME
[DEEP VOICE] HI-YA, TORI.
YOU LOOK TIRED AND AWFUL.
DUH!
- WELL, I'M NOT AGREEING THAT YOU LOOK TIRED AND AWFUL...
- BUT WHY DO YOU?
- UGH, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
OKAY, HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
FIRST, I'M SUPPOSED TO... [SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
♪♪
DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY THAT NOW?
- YES.
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
- I'M SUPPOSED TO WRITE A ONE-ACT PLAY
FOR SIKOWITZ'S CLASS.
AND TRINA HAS A HEAD COLD AND BLOWS HER NOSE
ALL NIGHT LONG, WHICH WAKES ME UP.
AND I'VE SPENT, LIKE, A BILLION HOURS TRYING
TO MAKE THIS STUPID VENETIAN CARNIVAL MASK
FOR MY WORLD CULTURES CLASS.
- HMM. LET'S SEE IT.
- SEE? - HEY, YOU LOOK BETTER.
[BLOWING NOSE]
- OH, MY GOD. I AM SO SICK.
FEEL HOW HEAVY THIS IS.
- OH...
[ANDRE GRUNTS] UGH.
- OH.
- I THINK YOU REALLY NEED TO GET SOME REST.
- I CAN'T REST.
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND WASH
THIS TRINA GOO OFF MY HAND.
- OH, YOU GUYS!
YOU GUYS, HAVE EITHER OF YOU SEEN JADE?
- NO. - WHY, WHAT'S UP WITH JADE?
- SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME.
- ANY REASON?
- WELL, WE WERE HANGING OUT LAST NIGHT,
AND SHE ASKED ME TO DO HER EYEBROWS.
- DO WHAT TO THEM?
- MAKE THEM LOOK NEATER AND NICER.
GIRLS DO THAT.
WE GROOM EACH OTHER LIKE MONKEYS.
- SO WHY IS JADE TRYING TO KILL YOU?
- WELL-- - [JADE] WHERE IS SHE?!
- [SCREAMING]
STOP HER!
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
[SCREAMING] - DON'T TOUCH HIM!
- WHAT'RE YOU-- STOP! RELAX, JADE.
STOP THAT, JADE.
[JADE] - COME HERE!
- WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? - WHY ARE YOU SO MAD AT CAT?
- DON'T SAY A WORD.
- ♪ HERE I AM, ONCE AGAIN ♪
♪ FEELING LOST, BUT NOW AND THEN ♪
♪ I BREATHE IT IN TO LET IT GO ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW ♪
♪ OR WHAT IT WILL COME TO, IF ONLY SOMEBODY COULD HEAR ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT HOW, YOU'RE LOST IN THE MOMENT ♪
♪ YOU DISAPPEAR ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO PUT YOUR DREAM IN ACTION ♪
♪ YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FADE, YOU'LL BE THE MAIN ATTRACTION ♪
♪ NOT A FANTASY, JUST REMEMBER ME WHEN IT TURNS OUT RIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION ♪
♪ TOMORROW YOU'LL BE EVERYBODY'S FASCINATION ♪
♪ IN MY VICTORY, JUST REMEMBER ME ♪
♪ WHEN I MAKE IT SHINE ♪
♪♪
- OH, I DO LOOK TIRED AND AWFUL.
[SNIFFS] AND NOW MY HANDS
SMELL LIKE SINK WATER.
[GIRL SOBBING]
- HELLO?
[YELP]
- THIS STALL IS TAKEN.
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- WHY?
- WELL, YOU'RE SITTING THERE ON A TOILET, EATING A SANDWICH
AND CRYING.
- I KNOW. [SOBBING]
[SPLASH]
BYE, SANDWICH.
I WISH I COULD GO WITH YOU.
[FLUSHING]
- AW, COME HERE.
COME ON.
HERE, DRY YOUR EYES WITH THIS.
[SNIFFLING]
- THIS PAPER TOWEL SMELLS LIKE SINK WATER.
- I KNOW.
UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- PONNIE.
- OH, HI, BONNIE. I'M TORI.
- NO. PONNIE.
MY NAME IS "P-ONNIE," WITH A P. PONNIE!
- OH. THAT'S DIFFERENT.
- I KNOW. I HAVE A BAD NAME.
[SOBBING]
- YOU HAVE A GREAT NAME.
I ALWAYS WISHED BY NAME WAS PORI.
- YOU'RE NICE.
- THANKS.
SO YOU MUST BE NEW HERE AT HOLLYWOOD ARTS.
- UH, NO. I'VE BEEN GOING
TO SCHOOL HERE FOR THREE YEARS.
- YOU HAVE?
- TOTES.
I WAS IN THE SPRING SHOWCASE WITH YOU.
- OH... YEAH...
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE.
NOBODY EVER REMEMBERS ME.
- WELL, MAYBE PEOPLE WOULD REMEMBER YOU MORE
IF YOU DIDN'T EAT LUNCH HERE IN THE BATHROOM BY YOURSELF.
- WAIT, YOU WANT TO EAT LUNCH IN HERE WITH ME?
- NO. I DIDN'T MEAN... - THERE'S ROOM FOR TWO
IN THE HANDICAPPED STALL.
- WHY DON'T YOU COME HAVE LUNCH WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS?
- YOU MEAN IT? - LET'S GO.
- OKEY-DOKE.
- OH.
[BLOWING NOSE]
- OH... OH, MY GOD.
LOOK WHAT JUST CAME OUT OF ME.
- LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
♪♪
- UM, I THINK YOU LOOK NICE WITH NO EYEBROWS.
- JADE, I JUST WANT TO SAY, I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOU HAVING LUNCH WITH US.
AND THANK YOU, ANDRE AND BECK,
FOR HANDCUFFING JADE TO THE TABLE.
- NO PROBLEM. - SURE.
[GROWLING] [SCREAMING]
- I STILL DON'T GET HOW THIS HAPPENED.
- WELL, JADE ASKED ME TO MAKE HER EYEBROWS LOOK NICE,
SO I TRIED TO WAX THEM.
BUT WHEN I TOOK THE WAX STRIPS OFF,
THERE WAS, UM, A PROBLEM.
- MY EYEBROWS ARE GONE!
- NO, THEY'RE NOT.
I TOLD YOU, THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.
- I'VE NEVER EATEN OUT HERE BEFORE.
- OH, IT'S JUST LIKE EATING IN THE BATHROOM.
YOU KNOW, WITHOUT THE TOILET.
- RIGHT.
- ♪ YOU GUYS ♪
HEY, EVERYONE.
SPECIAL TREAT.
I JUST FOUND A NEW FRIEND ON A TOILET.
SHE'S FUN, AND SHE LIKES SANDWICHES.
SAY HEY TO PONNIE.
- PONNIE?
- WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- PONNIE. SHE WAS...
SHE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME.
- WHO'S BONNIE?
- PONNIE WITH A P. "PAH-NEE."
- WHAT COLOR WAS HER HAIR, "PLONDE?"
- OR "PRUNETTE?"
[ALL LAUGHING]
♪♪
- PONNIE, ARE YOU IN HERE?
PONNIE? [SOBBING]
- PONNIE, WHAT HAPPENED?
I WENT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL MY FRIENDS.
AND WHEN I TURNED AROUND, YOU WERE GONE--
SINJIN?
- THIS STALL IS TAKEN.
[SOBBING]
♪♪
[SCREAMS]
- IT'S JUST ME, PONNIE.
- BUT... HOW DID...
- WELL, I FOUND YOUR MASK ON THE FLOOR,
SO I THOUGHT I'D PUT IT OVER MY FACE AND THEN RETURN IT TO YOU.
- OH. THANKS.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AT LUNCH?
- SORRY.
IT'S JUST I'M JUST REALLY SHY, AND I GOT NERVOUS
AND SO I WENT AND FINISHED MY LUNCH
IN THE JANITOR'S CLOSET.
- EW. WHY THERE?
- IT'S SAFE AND QUIET.
AND I LIKE THE SMELL OF THE CLEANING PRODUCTS.
- BUT WOULDN'T YOU RATHER SMELL PEOPLE?
[SNIFFING]
- OH, YEAH.
- LISTEN, I GOTTA GET TO CLASS.
- YEAH, WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR SIKOWITZ.
- YOU?
YOU'RE NOT IN SIKOWITZ'S CLASS.
- UH-HUH.
YOU PROBABLY NEVER NOTICED ME.
I'M ONE OF THE QUIET KIDS WHO SITS IN THE BACK
AND JUST REACTS TO STUFF.
- YOU'RE SHRUGGER?
[MUMBLING]
WOW.
WELL THEN, WHY DON'T WE WALK TO CLASS TOGETHER?
- OW! - WHAT'S WRONG?
- I HAVE SEVERE SHOULDER PAIN FROM TOO MUCH SHRUGGING.
- OH. THEN LET ME CARRY YOUR BACKPACK.
- REALLY?
WOW.
I GUESS THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A FRIEND.
- YEAH.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH MY BELLY BUTTON.
- I DON'T MIND.
♪♪
[SCREAMING]
- SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME.
PLEASE HIDE ME. SHE'S GONNA KILL ME.
- WHAT? DID YOU JUST SAY THAT SOMEONE WAS GOING--
AH, YOU KIDS WORK IT OUT YOURSELVES.
[YELPS]
- COME ON, CAT. JUST WATCH THE DOOR
AND THAT WAY, JADE CAN'T SNEAK UP ON YOU.
- OKAY. I'LL JUST STAY RIGHT HERE
AND I'LL WATCH THE DOOR.
[SCREAMING]
[GIRLS SCREAMING]
- COME HERE, YOU.
- JADE, WHOA, WHOA.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! - HEY, HEY. DON'T DO THAT.
- DANGER, DANGER. - WHAT ARE YOU...
[SCREAMING]
- YOU GIRLS KNOCK IT OFF.
- I'LL GET YOU.
- I DON'T WANNA BE GOTTEN.
[BELL RINGING]
- ALL RIGHT, WEIRDOS, TAKE YOUR SEATS.
- WAIT. WHERE'S PONNIE?
- WHERE'S WHO?
- PONNIE. ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS.
SHE SITS IN THE BACK WITH YOU GUYS, RIGHT?
- I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY NAMED PONNIE...
- OH, COME ON.
SHE'S ONE OF YOU.
- UH, TORI, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN AND REST.
- THERE'S NO PONNIE IN THIS CLASS.
- BUT-- BUT SHE TOLD ME.
- OH, OKAY.
WELL, IF THERE'S NO PONNIE,
THEN HOW DO I HAVE PONNIE'S BACKPACK?
HMM? HMM?
- WHAT'S IN PONNIE'S BACKPACK?
- I DON'T KNOW. PONNIE STUFF.
AN EAR OF CORN!
A KLINGON DICTIONARY!
AND A DOLL... THAT'S DRESSED EXACTLY LIKE ME!
[DOLL] - I'M TALKING TORI!
[DEEP VOICE] AND I'M EVIL.
- WHAT?
- WHY WOULD YOU BUY THAT DOLL?
- AND WHERE DO I GET ONE?
- BUT I DIDN'T BUY IT.
THIS IS PONNIE'S BACKPACK.
[ALL MUTTERING] - SOUNDS A LITTLE ODD.
- THERE IS NO ONE NAMED PONNIE IN THIS SCHOOL.
- IT'S TRUE. NO PONNIE.
- OKAY, THAT DOES IT.
I AM GOING TO FIND THAT PONNIE GIRL RIGHT NOW.
♪♪
PONNIE?
PONNIE!
WHY WAS THERE CORN IN YOUR BACKPACK?
PONNIE!
PO-- [GASP]
MAKE IT R-- OH.
OH. MAKE IT ROT?
OH... SIKOWITZ!
OH, GOD.
- COME SEE IT. IT SAYS, MAKE IT ROT.
AND I KNOW PONNIE DID IT.
LOOK. SEE?
MY LOCKER SAYS, MAKE IT SHINE.
WHAT?
I AM NOT CRAZY.
I SWEAR MY LOCKER SAID MAKE IT ROT JUST A SECOND AGO.
AND PONNIE DID IT. I KNOW PONNIE DID IT.
- IS IT JUST ME,
OR IS TORI A LOT HOTTER NOW THAT SHE'S CRAZY?
♪♪
- MM. LOOK, TORI.
I GOT YOU SOME NICE, SOOTHING HERBAL TEA.
- AND HERE ARE SOME PRETTY MAGAZINES FOR YOU TO LOOK AT.
- AND I'M GOING TO SING YOU A LITTLE SONG
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL CALM AND MAYBE A LITTLE BIT LESS INSANE.
[SIGHS]
- LISTEN TO ME.
I SWEAR THERE IS A GIRL NAMED PONNIE,
AND SHE IS INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO FREAK ME OUT
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
[ALL SHUSHING]
[PLAYING GUITAR]
♪ TORI, OH, TORI, MY INSANE LITTLE BUNNY ♪
♪ YOUR PARANOID DELUSIONS ARE KIND OF SAD, FUNNY ♪
♪ TORI, OH, TORI, MY PSYCHOTIC LITTLE BUNNY ♪
♪ KISS ME ONE TIME BEFORE THEY TAKE YOU AWAY ♪♪
- THIS ISN'T MAKING ME FEEL LESS CRAZY.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- FOOD'S HERE.
- I'LL GET IT.
NEVER WANT TO LISTEN TO ME.
- WHAT'D YOU GUYS ORDER?
- CRAZY FACE WANTED CHINESE.
- CHINESE FOOD.
IT'S $23.
- SURE. I THINK I HAVE A...
OH.
I'LL GO GET MY PURSE.
YOU JUST--
YOU WAIT THERE.
IT'S HER!
IT'S HER. IT'S HER.
IT'S HER. IT'S HER. IT'S HER.
- THE CHINESE FOOD DELIVERY GIRL?
- YES! NO!
IT'S PONNIE. IT'S PONNIE.
IT'S PONNIE. IT'S PONNIE. SHH...
- YOU BETTER GET YOUR GUITAR.
- NO, IT'S REALLY HER.
- PONNIE? - YES.
SHE'S IN DISGUISE. COME ON.
COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
COME ON.
SHH.
A-HA.
- WHAT?
- EXCUSE ME. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- LINDA.
- THAT IS LINDA.
- OH, YEAH, SURE. LINDA THE LIAR.
THAT IS PONNIE.
- YOU SAID PONNIE HAD BROWN HAIR.
SHE'S IN DISGUISE.
THAT IS PONNIE IN DISGUISE.
- I JUST NEED $23.
- OKAY.
YOU GUYS GO DO WHATEVER.
I'M GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH LINDA.
OK, PONNIE, I KNOW IT'S YOU.
WHY DO YOU KEEP TERRORIZING ME?
I MEAN, WHAT DID I EVER--
OH. [GROANING]
- GET OUT OF MY SCHOOL.
- WHAT? OH...
[CAR ENGINE STARTING]
- DO YOU SEE?
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED?
- AW, YOU DUMPED MY CHINESE NOODLES ON YOUR HEAD.
- I KNOW THERE ARE CHINESE NOODLES ON MY HEAD.
BUT I DIDN'T PUT THEM THERE.
PONNIE DID.
- YOU MEAN LINDA? - HER NAME'S NOT LINDA.
- HER SHIRT SAID LINDA.
- GET OUT!
OUT! - OKAY.
- YOU! RIGHT NOW!
YOU, OUT. OUT!
AND TAKE YOUR STUPID GUITAR AND YOUR STUPID SONGS.
[WHIMPERING]
♪♪
- TORI.
- WHAT?
- IT'S 3:30 IN THE MORNING. WHY ARE YOU UP?
- WHY ARE YOU UP? [TRINA BLOWING NOSE]
[TRINA] - OH, IT'S SO THICK AND GREEN!
- YOU LOOK UPSET.
[SIGHING]
- I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME.
WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?
- OF COURSE, BABY.
- OKAY.
WELL, THERE'S THIS WEIRD GIRL AT MY SCHOOL.
HER NAME'S PONNIE.
- BONNIE? - PONNIE!
ANYWAY, SHE'S-- SHE'S, LIKE, BEEN TORMENTING ME.
AND-- AND I'M JUST-- I'M SO, SO WORRIED
THAT-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I WAS CHECKING MY EMAIL.
- MOM, I AM TALKING TO YOU.
I-- I'M SCARED THAT THIS GIRL AT SCHOOL
IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING BAD.
- OKAY. MAYBE WE CAN, UH--
- WE NEED COPS. WHEN DOES DAD
GET BACK IN TOWN? - NOT TILL SUNDAY.
- WELL, CAN'T YOU CALL HIS PARTNER?
- OKAY. I'LL TEXT GARY.
- YEAH. TEXT GARY. I LIKE THAT GUY.
- I KNOW. HE'S HANDSOME, RIGHT?
- KINDA?
♪♪
[BELL RINGING]
- BYE. - [GIRL] LATER, TORI.
- WELL, IT'S JUST ME.
ALONE HERE IN THE HALLWAY.
NO ONE ELSE AROUND.
[SCREAMING]
COME OUT OF THERE.
- THIRSTY, TORI?
- WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?
- MY NAME IS FAWN LIEBOWITZ.
WELL, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
- I USED TO GO TO SCHOOL HERE UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP.
- HUH?
- YOUR LOCKER USED TO BE MY LOCKER.
YEAH, I GOT KICKED OUT OF HOLLYWOOD ARTS
SO THEY COULD MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.
AND GUESS WHAT, TORI?
I'M ANGRY ABOUT IT.
- YEAH? WELL, YOU GUESS WHAT?
[SPUTTERING]
WHISTLE.
[SPUTTERING]
WHY WON'T IT...
- LOOKING FOR THIS?
- HOW DID YOU GET MY WHISTLE BALL?
- THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS I BELONG AT THIS SCHOOL.
NOT YOU, ME. I WANT TO MAKE IT SHINE.
IT'S MY TURN TO BE.
- TO BE ARRESTED.
GARY!
[MAKING SIREN SOUNDS]
- HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK. - WE GOT A 10-15.
- WHAT HAPPENED? - WHAT'S GOING ON?
FAWN LIEBOWITZ?
- OH, SHUT UP, HIPPIE.
- SHE NEVER LIKED YOU. - HMM.
- YOU ALL RIGHT, KID?
- YEAH. THANKS, GARY.
- SURE. I'LL TEXT YOUR MOM,
LET HER KNOW YOU'RE OKAY.
- GOOD.
- SHE'S A SPECIAL LADY.
- THANKS?
♪♪
- NO, SHE DIDN'T GET EXPELLED FROM HOLLYWOOD ARTS
TO MAKE ROOM HERE FOR YOU.
- THEN WHY DID SHE GET KICKED OUT?
- SHE'S CRAZY, A LOONY BAT.
SHE STOLE THINGS, CARRIED WEIRD STUFF IN HER BACKPACK,
CALLED EVERYONE DEBBIE.
A REAL NUTCASE.
- LICK MY LOAFERS, DEBBIE.
- HEY, BE CAREFUL WITH HER.
SHE'S A SLIPPERY ONE.
- OH...
- I FELL ASLEEP DURING STUDY HALL.
JADE FOUND ME.
- AW, DON'T BE SAD, LITTLE ONE.
I THINK YOUR HEAD LOOKS GREAT LIKE THAT.
- OF COURSE YOU DO.
- OKAY, KIDDO, WE'RE GOING TO TAKE FAWN
DOWN TO THE STATION AND BOOK HER.
SHE WON'T BOTHER YOU AGAIN.
- OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. - SURE.
- DETECTIVE, SHE'S PRETTY SHAKEN UP.
DO YOU HAVE AN EXTRA POLICE OFFICER
WHO COULD GIVE HER A RIDE HOME?
- SURE THING. - OH, AND CAN TRINA COME?
SHE TEXTED ME. SHE SAID SHE HAS A FEVER.
- NO PROBLEM. JUST TELL YOUR MOM
I SEND HER MY BEST.
- OKAY.
♪♪
WHAT A WEEK--
[BLOWING NOSE]
- SORRY. - I DON'T EVEN MIND.
- AW.
♪♪
- I WROTE AND PRODUCED THIS MYSELF.
♪ MY NAME IS CAT ♪
♪ HERE'S A VIDEO FOR YOU ♪
♪ I KNOW IT'S NOT FANCY, BUT IT'S SOMETHING TO DO ♪
♪ SO IF YOU GET BORED, JUST COME ONLINE ♪
♪ TO THESLAP.COM ♪
♪ WHERE EVERYTHING'S FINE ♪♪
[SCATTING]
[GIGGLING]
[OVEN DINGING] - [MAN] MM!
[PONNIE] - LICK MY LOAFERS, DEBBIE.