- CAT. CAT, COME ON.
YOU CAN'T BE MAD AT ME OVER SOMETHING I DID IN YOUR DREAM.
- IT'S WHAT YOU DIDN'T DO.
- WELL, WILL YOU AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT I DIDN'T DO?
- FINE.
THESE LITTLE KIDS WERE TRYING TO EAT US,
AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN TRY TO HELP ME.
YOU WERE JUST CRYING AND YELLING, "NO, NO!
DON'T EAT ME! EAT HER, EAT HER!"
- WELL, I'M SORRY, AND IF A BUNCH OF LITTLE KIDS
EVER REALLY DO TRY TO EAT US, I PROMISE TO--
WELL, WHY SHOULDN'T THEY EAT YOU FIRST?
- ROBBIE! - I WANT TO LIVE.
THERE'S THINGS I'VE NEVER TRIED.
THINGS I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO DO.
- WHAT DO YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO DO?
- UH, RIDE A PONY. TAKE A COOKING CLASS.
OTHER THINGS.
- JUST ICE CREAM? - UH-HUH.
- THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA EAT FOR LUNCH?
- NOPE. IT'S BEEN IN MY LOCKER ALL DAY,
SO I'M GONNA DRINK IT.
- WHY?
- 'CAUSE I WANNA MEET KESHA.
AH, DANG IT.
- KESHA'S NOT IN THERE?
- NO, I GOT ANOTHER STUPID "K."
- OH!
IS THIS ABOUT THAT CONTEST? - WHAT?
- WELL, KESHA'S DOING THIS THING WITH LICHTER'S ICE CREAM.
- SEE, THERE'S A LETTER AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY PINT.
UH, YOU EITHER GET A "K," AN "E,"
AN "S," AN "H," OR AN "A."
- AND IF YOU FIND THE LETTERS THAT SPELL "KESHA,"
YOU WIN A PRIVATE CONCERT.
- FROM KESHA? - YEP.
- SO FAR THIS WEEK I'VE EATEN 11 PINTS OF ICE CREAM,
AND ALL I'VE GOTTEN ARE 11 "K"s.
AH!
- ROBBIE LET A BUNCH OF LITTLE KIDS EAT ME.
- IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF DREAM CHILDREN
FIND YOU DELICIOUS.
HEY, TRINA. - I DON'T TALK TO YOU.
HEY, TORI, I NEED YOUR OPINION. - ON?
- WELL, LET'S SAY A PERSON MADE A DEAL WITH SOMEONE.
- WHAT KIND OF DEAL? - YOU KNOW,
LIKE THEY PROMISED TO DO SOMETHING.
SHOULD THAT PERSON HAVE TO KEEP THEIR WORD?
- YEAH. A DEAL'S A DEAL.
- EVEN IF IT WAS LIKE TEN YEARS AGO?
- YES, YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR WORD
NO MATTER HOW LONG AGO IT WAS.
- I'M SO GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY,
'CAUSE MAYBE YOU REMEMBER THIS
FROM WHEN YOU WERE SIX AND I WAS SEVEN.
- OH, MY GOD.
I REMEMBER THIS.
- JUST READ IT. - OH, OKAY.
"WHEN I, TORI VEGA, AM 16 YEARS OLD,
"I WILL BE MARRIED TO A HANDSOME PRINCE,
AND WE SHALL LIVE IN A MAGIC SUGAR CASTLE."
- THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
- I KNOW THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
- YEAH, AND READ WHAT YOU SAID YOU'D DO IF IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
- "I WILL BE TRINA'S ASSISTANT AND DO WHATEVER SHE SAYS
FOR A WHOLE MONTH."
- THAT'S RIGHT!
- SO? I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS SIX.
- YEAH, AND WHO WAS IT WHO SAID YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR WORD
NO MATTER HOW LONG AGO IT WAS?
- MARTIN LUTHER KING?
- NO, MARTIN LUTHER KING GAVE A SPEECH ABOUT HAVING A DREAM.
- I HAD A DREAM. KIDS ATE ME.
- DON'T WORRY, TORI. I AM NOT GONNA BE UNREASONABLE.
- WILL YOU GUYS TELL HER SHE'S BEING RIDICULOUS?
- WELL, YOU DID MAKE A DEAL.
- YOU DID SAY A PERSON SHOULD KEEP HER WORD.
- THANK YOU, TORI'S FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS
YOU NEED TO DO FOR ME. - BUT I DON'T--
- I'LL HAVE ANOTHER LIST FOR YOU IN THE MORNING.
BOO-BYE.
- I HAVE TO PLUCK HER TOE HAIR?
♪ HERE I AM ONCE AGAIN ♪
♪ FEELING LOST, BUT NOW AND THEN ♪
♪ I BREATHE IT IN TO LET IT GO ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW ♪
♪ OR WHAT IT WILL COME TO IF ONLY SOMEBODY COULD HEAR ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT HOW, YOU'RE LOST IN THE MOMENT ♪
♪ YOU DISAPPEAR ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO PUT YOUR DREAM IN ACTION ♪
♪ YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FADE YOU'LL BE THE MAIN ATTRACTION ♪
♪ NOT A FANTASY ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME WHEN IT TURNS OUT RIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION ♪
♪ TOMORROW YOU'LL BE EVERYBODY'S FASCINATION ♪
♪ IN MY VICTORY, JUST REMEMBER ME ♪
♪ WHEN I MAKE IT SHINE ♪♪
- HEY, LOOK AT ME.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
[TORI LAUGHING]
- YEAH!
SIX FOR SIX!
- AND HOW IS THIS FUN FOR ME?
- YOU GET TO BE THE TARGET, WHICH MEANS--
TRINA: TORI! - UGH!
- TORI!
- WHAT?
- I WANT SOMETHING.
- HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?
- I DON'T LIKE THIS SONG.
I NEED YOU TO CHANGE IT.
- YOUR PHONE IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.
- YEAH, BUT I HAVE A PICKLE IN THIS HAND
A LIP GLOSS IN THIS ONE.
NOW CHANGE THE SONG.
- PUT ON SOME KESHA.
MAYBE THAT'LL GIVE MY ICE CREAM SOME LUCK.
- YOU WANT SOME KESHA?
- WHO PUTS KETCHUP ON A PICKLE?
- KESHA!
- OH, YEAH. PLAY A KESHA SONG.
GOOD. NOW GO.
- HOW AM I GONNA BE HER ASSISTANT FOR A MONTH
WITHOUT RIPPING HER HEAD OFF?
- OH, YEAH, BABY! - AH, YOU GOT AN "A"!
- YEAH, I DID. - GOOD.
SO NOW YOU HAVE "K" AND "A."
- YEP, ALL I NEED IS AN E-S-H, AND I GET
A PRIVATE CONCERT FROM KESHA.
- YOU JUST NEED "ESH."
- I NEED "ESH" REAL BAD.
- TORI!
TORI!
- YES, HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?
- OH, I LOVE THIS SONG.
PUT IT ON LOOP.
- HEY. - WHY'D YOU KILL MY VOLUME?
- YOU LOVE KESHA? - YEAH, SO?
- IF I CAN JUST KESHA TO GIVE YOU A PRIVATE CONCERT
RIGHT HERE IN THIS HOUSE,
THEN CAN I STOP BEING YOUR ASSISTANT?
- PFFT.
SURE... BUT SINCE YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT HAPPEN,
PUT THE SONG ON LOOP, THEN SCURRY OFF.
- OKAY.
- MMM!
- WHOA!
NOW IT'S FUN.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU LIKE THAT?
- MORE.
[TORI GULPING]
- AHH... "K."
- "K."
- "A."
- "K."
- "A."
- OKAY, WE'RE NEVER GONNA SPELL KESHA.
- WHY ARE THERE SO MANY Ks AND As?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT WE'D BE DOING GREAT
IF WE WERE TRYING TO WIN A PRIVATE CONCERT
FROM AKAKAKAK.
- I GUESS THEY GOTTA MAKE SOME LETTERS HARD TO FIND,
OR EVERYONE COULD WIN.
- I'M SICK OF THIS.
ICE CREAM REMINDS ME OF MY CHILDHOOD.
- YOU DIDN'T HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD?
- MY FAVORITE TOY WAS A HAMMER.
YOU FINISH THE PUZZLE.
- YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HELP?
- DON'T PUSH ME. - WHAT?
- BUT IF WE WIN AND KESHA DOES DO A PRIVATE CONCERT HERE,
ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED FIND THE LETTERS GET TO COME.
- ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED FIND THE LETTERS
GET TO COME!
- I DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.
- AH! "E!"
I GOT AN "E!"
[ALL CHEERING]
- OKAY, OKAY. LET'S PUT IT ON THE THING.
- YEAH! - YEAH-- OOH!
- ACTUALLY, NO, NO. - ICE CREAM HANDS.
- ALL STICKY. - OHH.
- HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- WELL, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD WASTE ALL THIS ICE CREAM,
SO I'M GONNA TAKE IT DOWN TO THE PLAYGROUND ON THE CORNER
AND GIVE IT TO SOME LITTLE KIDS.
- UH, I DON'T KNOW HOW KIDS' MOTHERS ARE GONNA FEEL
ABOUT A STRANGE GUY HANDING OUT ICE--
- LET HIM DO IT. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S-- YOU'RE A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE.
JUST LET HIM DO IT. JUST LET HIM DO IT!
- GOOD LUCK!
- OKAY, PEOPLE, WE FIND AN "S" AND AN "H,"
AND GOT US A PRIVATE KESHA CONCERT.
- AND MY FREEDOM FROM TRINA.
- WOO! - ALL RIGHT.
- WHATEVER.
- "K." - UH, "A."
- "A."
- IT'S A "K."
"A!"
"K."
ANDRE: "K."
- "A."
- "K." - "K."
- OKAY, THIS IS ACTUALLY CAUSING ME PAIN.
AND NOT THE GOOD KIND.
- ALL WE NEED IS AN "S" AND AN "H."
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
- I'M OUT OF ICE CREAM.
- ME TOO.
- BECK'LL BE BACK WITH MORE SOON.
- ROBBIE, WHAT HAPPENED?
- I WENT TO THE PLAYGROUND.
I GOT OFF MY BIKE, AND I YELLED,
"HEY, KIDS, WHO WANTS SOME FREE ICE CREAM?"
AND THEN THEIR MOTHERS CHASED ME INTO AN ALLEY
AND BEET ME WITH STICKS.
- STICKS? - [CHUCKLES]
- ONE BIG MOM STEPPED ON MY NECK.
- YOU GOTTA LOVE BIG MOMS.
- HEY. - WHERE'S THE ICE CREAM?
- YEAH, DIDN'T YOU GET SOME MORE?
- NOPE. CHECK KESHA'S LAST UPDATE.
- "CONGRATS TO THE DUDE IN NORTHRIDGE
"WHO FOUND ALL THE LETTERS AND SPELLED OUT KESHA.
"THANKS FOR PLAYING.
KESHA LATER."
- CONTEST OVER.
- GREAT.
I SPENT NINE HOURS OF MY LIFE
VIOLATING PINTS OF ICE CREAM FOR NOTHING.
- WELL, I GOT STICK BEAT BY VICIOUS MOTHERS.
- I HATE EVERYTHING.
- WELL... DON'T BE SAD.
- I AM SAD.
BECAUSE I DIDN'T MARRY A PRINCE,
AND I DON'T LIVE IN A MAGIC SUGAR CASTLE,
AND NOW WE CAN'T WIN THE KESHA CONCERT, WHICH MEANS
THAT I GOTTA KEEP BEING TRINA'S STUPID ASSISTANT
FOR 28 MORE DAYS.
- THAT'S SO SAD.
- COME ON. IT'S OKAY.
MAYBE-- MAYBE TRINA WILL JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.
- OOH OOH... THERE YOU GO.
GET THE SCALP!
[SNIFFLES AND SNORTS]
TISSUE.
[BLOWING NOSE]
CHECK THE COLOR.
- WHY?
- THE DOCTOR SAYS IF IT'S A GREENISH YELLOW COLOR
THEN I SHOULD PROBABLY START TO THINK ABOUT
TAKING SOME ANTI-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TORI!
YOU'RE PUTTING ME-- TORI!
[TRINA SPITTING]
- OOH, YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY.
- I'M NOT. - YAY.
- TRINA GIVING YOU A ROUGH TIME?
- YES.
DO YOU KNOW SHE SLEEPS SWEATS?
- SLEEP SWEATS?
- YEAH, SHE MADE ME GO INTO HER ROOM LAST NIGHT
EVERY TWO HOURS WITH A SPONGE, LIFT HER ARMS,
AND THEN I HAD TO--
- TORI! HEY, ANSWER MY PHONE.
- I DON'T WANNA.
- YOU'RE HER ASSISTANT, SO DO WHAT SHE SAYS.
- THANK YOU, JADE. - NEVER TOUCH ME.
- WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR OWN PHONE?
- IT'S THAT GUY, LENDEL. HE KEEPS CALLING ME.
JUST ANSWER IT.
- HELLO?
NO, I'M SORRY. TRINA'S--
- DEAD! UM, NO.
SAY I MOVED TO CANADA.
- UH, SHE MOVED TO CANADA... THEN DIED.
YEAH.
THIS IS HER SISTER, TORI.
NO, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!
WHAT IS-- - GIVE ME MY PHONE.
HEY, I'M DEAD FOR 10 SECONDS
AND YOU'RE ALREADY HITTING ON MY SISTER?
NO, NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME, LENDEL.
IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT I HATE YOU.
- THAT'S MY LIFE NOW.
TRINA: YOU TREAT ME WITH RESPECT.
- SO I MIGHT AS WELL-- - HEY, TORI, COME SEE THIS.
- OH, WHAT?
[GIGGLING] - PLAY IT AGAIN.
- OKAY, OKAY.
- SO TURNS OUT THE DUDE FROM NORTHRIDGE
WHO SAID HE WON THE LICHTER'S ICE CREAM CONTEST--
HE FAKED IT. YEAH. GUY'S A LOSER.
ANYWAYS, CONTEST BACK ON.
GET IT. KESHA OUT.
- I CAN STILL WIN THE CONTEST!
- RUN FOR IT, TORI.
RUN STRAIGHT HOME AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU GET THERE.
- RIGHT!
- "K."
- "A."
- "H."
- "K."
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. CAT, WHAT'D YOU SAY?
- WHEN?
- JUST A SECOND AGO.
- I SAID "WHEN."
- NO, BEFORE THAT.
- OH, I SAID "H."
- "H?" - WHAT?
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
- SHE'S GOT IT. SHE'S THE "H!"
- OH, I FEEL SO LOVED.
- HERE IT IS. HERE IT IS!
- OH! - YES!
- "KE-HA!" ALL: "KE-HA!"
- "KE-HA!"
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
LET'S FIND THE "S" BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE DOES.
- YEAH! - LET'S GO!
- YES!
- "A."
- "K."
- "A."
- "E."
- "A."
- "H."
- "K."
- [MUTTERING ANGRILY]
- TORI? TORI?
HEY, UH-- - WHAT?! WHAT WHAT WHAT?!
I GOTTA FIND THE "S."
- WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LITTLE BREAK?
- NO. NO, I GOTTA FIND THE "S."
I DON'T WANT TO BE TRINA'S ASSISTANT ANYMORE.
I JUST NEED THE "S" TO SPELL KESHA.
WHERE... IS THE "S?"
- I DON'T KNOW, BABY. I JUST DON'T KNOW.
- HEY, YOU GUYS. - WHAT'S UP?
- WHAT? WHAT?
- THE LETTER THAT WE FOUND THE MOST OF IS "K," RIGHT?
- YEAH. - IT'S TRUE.
- AND WHAT ICE CREAM FLAVORS HAVE WE SEARCHED THE MOST?
- UH, BEACH BUNNY BLITZ, BLUEBERRY PECAN,
AND CREAMY COWBOY CRUNCH.
- AH, WHICH ACCORDING TO THE LICHTER'S WEBSITE
ARE THEIR THREE MOST POPULAR FLAVORS.
- SO IF THEY PUT THE EASIEST TO FIND LETTERS
IN THE MOST POPULAR FLAVORS OF ICE CREAM, THEN--
- THEN THEY PROBABLY PUT THE HARDEST TO FIND LETTERS--
- THE "S!"
- THE "S."
- IN THEIR LEAST POPULAR FLAVOR.
- WHAT'S THE LEAST POPULAR FLAVOR OF LICHTER'S ICE CREAM.
- UH, I DON'T LIKE BEING HOLLERED AT.
- RELAX. RELAX. CHILL. CHILL. CHILL. CHILL.
- JUST TAP YOUR PEARPAD AND TELL US THE LEAST POPULAR FLAVOR.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, IT'S, UM...
FUNKY NUT BLAST.
- I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THAT.
- ME EITHER.
- WELL, IT HAS TO EXIST SOMEWHERE.
- OH, IT DOES.
IT'S MY BROTHER'S FAVORITE, SO MY MOM BUYS IT FOR HIM
AND PUTS HIS SPECIAL MEDICINE IN IT.
- WELL, WHERE DO WE BUY THE FUNKY NUT BLAST?
- WE GET IT AT THE HANDY QUICK IN CALABASAS.
- DRIVE ME THERE? - LET'S GO.
- I'M GOING. - CAN I COME?
- I DON'T CARE. COME ON!
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.
- WELL? - ME FIRST?
[REX MOANING]
[KIDS YELLING]
- COME ON! COME ON, PEOPLE!
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTS]
- FUNKY NUT BLAST! - YES!
- HO! - GO PAY FOR IT!
- OKAY, OKAY!
- OHH! - PUT SOME MORE--
- OH, GOT IT, GOT IT! - IS IT AN "S"?
- NO.
IT'S JUST A DUMB "H."
- WELL, MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER PINT?
- NO, THERE'S NOT.
THAT WAS THE ONLY FUNKY NUT BLAST.
[TORI WHIMPERING]
- TORI? - TORI?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WE'RE IN PUBLIC!
PLEASE. PLEASE?
- HEY, THAT BOY OVER THERE IS EATING FUNKY NUT BLAST.
[KIDS YELLING]
- HI. - HELLO.
- HEY.
- UH, WHATCHA EATING THERE?
- FUNKY NUT BLAST.
ALL: OH!
- CAN WE HAVE IT?
- GET OUTTA HERE.
- WE'LL GIVE YOU 30 BUCKS FOR IT.
- DEAL. - AHH!
- YAY! NOW WE CAN WIN THE CONTEST AND MEET KESHA.
- NO! - SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
- WHAT-EY?
- IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?
- YES! [ALL YELLING]
- I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU... - YEAH!
- IF... - OH!
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- TO COME TO THE PRIVATE CONCERT.
- FINE. - DONE.
- AND... I WANNA KISS YOU.
- WHAT?
- AND HER.
[CAT GIGGLES]
AND, UH, THE FREAKY ONE.
- WHAT?!
- YOU BETTER STOP THERE.
♪♪
- ♪ BACK DOOR CRACKED ♪
♪ WE DON'T NEED A KEY ♪
♪ WE GET IN FOR FREE ♪
♪ NO VIP SLEAZE ♪
♪ DRINK THAT KOOL-AID ♪
♪ FOLLOW MY LEAD ♪
♪ NOW YOU'RE ONE OF US ♪
♪ YOU'RE COMING WITH ME ♪ - YEAH!
- ♪ TONIGHT WE'RE TAKING OVER ♪
♪ NO ONE'S GETTING OUT ♪
♪ THIS PLACE ABOUT TO BLOW ♪
♪ BLOW ♪
♪ THIS PLACE ABOUT TO BLOW ♪
♪ BLOW ♪
- YEAH! - ♪ THIS PLACE ABOUT TO-- ♪
♪ NOW WHAT? ♪ - ♪ WHAT? ♪
- ♪ WE'RE TAKING CONTROL ♪
♪ WE GET WHAT WE WANT ♪
♪ WE DO WHAT YOU DON'T ♪
♪ DIRT AND GLITTER COVER THE FLOOR ♪
♪ WE'RE PRETTY AND SICK ♪
♪ WE'RE YOUNG AND WE'RE BORED ♪
♪ TONIGHT WE'RE TAKING NAMES ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE DON'T MESS AROUND ♪
♪ THIS PLACE ABOUT TO BLOW ♪
[ALL CHEERING]
♪ BLOW ♪
♪ THIS PLACE ABOUT TO BLOW ♪
♪ BLOW! ♪
♪ THIS PLACE ABOUT TO ♪
[ALL CHEERING]
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, KESHA. OH, KESHA!
THAT WAS SO GREAT.
YOU TOTALLY ROCKED OUR HOME.
- THANKS.
- WANNA COME UPSTAIRS AND SEE MY ROOM?
- NO. - COME ON!
[GIRLS CHUCKLING]
- UH, DUDE?
- UH, WHAT?
- YOU AND THOSE TWO CHICKS OWE ME SOME LIPS.
[CAT GIGGLES]
- OKAY, BUT, UH, LET'S GO SOMEPLACE MORE PRIVATE.
- GOOD CALL.
- COME WITH ME. - YES, MA'AM.
- AND NOW I'LL JUST OPEN THIS DOOR.
- COOL.
HEY!
- KISS THE SHRUB!
- WAIT! KESHA, WAIT!
- NO, YOU'RE WEIRD.
- TRINA!
KESHA, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT HER.
- IS SHE YOUR SISTER? - YEAH.
- I'M SORRY FOR YOU.
- EVERYONE IS.
- ARE THOSE REAL CHEEK BONES?
- YEAH.
- HEY, THAT LITTLE BOY GOT LOCKED OUT.
- NO, TRINA, DON'T! - TRINA!
- DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR! GET BACK HERE!
TRINA!
- OH, WHAT'S WRONG, LITTLE GUY?
- THOSE GIRLS PROMISED TO KISS ME AND DIDN'T.
- OH, WELL YOU COULD GIVE ME A LITTLE KISS.
- GROSS.
- OH!
- COME ON!
- ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
SHAKE. SHIMMY IT.
- PUSH! - SHAKE.
- TORI! - COME ON.
YOU WANT ME TO TRY IT OUT? ALL RIGHT.
WELL?
- GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME.
TORI! - GO AWAY!
- UH, THERE. THERE.
[BELL RINGS] - MMM!
TORI: I HATE EVERYTHING.