[MUSIC]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
- AHHHH! - AHHHHH!
- DANNY.
- HEY. YOU GO TO SCHOOL HERE?
- YEAH. YOU KNEW I LEFT SHERWOOD.
- RIGHT, BUT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHERE--I MEAN,
ISN'T THIS SCHOOL FOR, LIKE, REALLY TALENTED KIDS WHO--
UHH, I DID NOT MEAN...
- NO, NO. KEEP TALKIN'. YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT.
- SORRY. - IT'S, IT'S COOL.
- SO, WHEN DID YOU GET INTO PERFORMING?
- OH, SEE, MY SISTER'S TONGUE GOT ALL BIG AND SWOLLEN
AND HERE I AM.
- SO WHO'S THAT?
- UH, THIS IS DANNY.
- HEY. - 'SUP.
- WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO TORI?
- HE GOES TO MY OLD SCHOOL.
- SHERWOOD.
- HE, HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND.
- GIRLFRIEND.
- SO WHY'D YOU DUMP HER?
- JADE... - CAN I GUESS?
'CUZ I GOT A LOTTA GUESSES.
- UM, ACTUALLY... - YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE TO...
- TORI BROKE UP WITH ME.
- OH.
AND HOW DID YOU CELEBRATE?
- DO YOU EVER TAKE A DAY OFF?
- SO, WHATCHA DOIN' HERE?
- YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- WELL, I'VE KINDA BEEN DATING THIS GIRL THAT,
YOU KNOW, GOES HERE.
AND, UH, I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET HER...
[HAPPY SQUEAL]
- DANIEL!
- HEY, BABE.
- THIS IS THE GUY I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT.
MY BOYFRIEND.
- OHH.
- DANIEL, THESE ARE MY FRIENDS: BECK, JADE, AND THAT'S TORI.
- YEAH, WE'VE MET.
- REALLY, YOU KNOW DANIEL?
- OH, SHE KNOWS DANIEL.
[MUSIC]
♪ HERE I AM, ONCE AGAIN ♪
♪ FEELING LOST ♪
♪ BUT NOW AND THEN ♪
♪ I BREATHE IT IN ♪
♪ TO LET IT GO ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ WHERE YOU ARE NOW ♪
♪ OR WHAT IT WILL COME TO ♪
♪ IF ONLY SOMEBODY COULD HEAR ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT ♪
♪ HOW YOU'RE LOST ♪
♪ IN THE MOMENT ♪
♪ YOU DISAPPEAR ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID ♪
♪ TO PUT YOUR DREAM IN ACTION ♪
♪ YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FADE ♪
♪ YOU'LL BE THE MAIN ATTRACTION ♪
♪ NOT A FANTASY ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME ♪
♪ WHEN IT TURNS OUT RIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU LIVE ♪
♪ IN YOUR IMAGINATION ♪
♪ TOMORROW YOU'LL BE ♪
♪ EVERYBODY'S FASCINATION ♪
♪ IN MY VICTORY ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME ♪
♪ WHEN I MAKE IT SHINE ♪♪
- SOOOO...
- HOW COME EVERYONE'S BEING ALL WEIRD?
- I'LL TELL HER. - NO, YOU WON'T.
- CAT, UM, I USED TO GO TO SHERWOOD, WITH DANNY,
BEFORE I CAME TO SCHOOL HERE.
- OH, SO YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS?
- YEAH, THEY WERE GOOOOOD FRIENDS.
- I'M CONFUSED.
- DANNY AND I USED TO DATE.
- UHHH.
- HEY, WHY DON'T WE WALK OVER TO SOME OTHER LOCATION?
- OKAY, WAIT. SO YOU AND TORI WERE LIKE...
- GIRLFRIEND.
- BOYFRIEND.
- SOOOO...
- PLEASE DON'T FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THIS.
- YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T. I MEAN, WE BROKE UP A YEAR AGO.
- YEAH, IT'S, IT'S BEEN A YEAR. - IT'S ONLY BEEN ELEVEN MONTHS.
- WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? - FORGET IT.
THE POINT IS, I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH YOU GUYS DATING.
- AND I'M TOTALLY COOL THAT YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS.
- WELL, OKAY THEN.
IT'S ALL HAPPY.
- YAY.
- I'M BORED NOW.
- I APOLOGIZE FOR... HER.
- SO HOW DID YOU GUYS MEET?
HEY, DO YOU GUYS WANNA GO...
YEAH. I... OKAY.
- FEEL IT. - WOW.
- LIKE A CLOUD.
- IT'S LIKE BUTTER.
- YEAH. I KNOW.
DOESN'T MY FOOT FEEL SWEET?
- TOTALLY. - LIKE A BABY'S BUTT, RIGHT?
- WAIT A SECOND.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
- OH. BYE! LATER, GUYS.
- UH, WHY WERE THEY ALL FEELING YOUR FOOT?
- I COULD EXPLAIN IT, BUT I'LL JUST LET THE FOOT
DO THE TALKING.
FEEL IT.
- WHAT? - FEEL MY FOOT.
- FEEL THE GIRL'S FOOT, MAN.
- OKAY, BUT I DON'T SEE WHAT THE WHOLE BIG DEAL ABOUT IT.
WHOA, SMOOTH FOOT!
- I KNOW.
- WOW! - OOO-WEE.
MAN, THAT IS SOME CREAMY FOOT.
- HOW'D YOU GET YOUR FOOT TO FEEL LIKE THAT?
- FISH.
- FISH? - TINY, LITTLE FISH.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
- OKAY. YOU READY?
- NO!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL.
- OKAY. THESE ARE POOKA FISH FROM PUERTO IGUAZU,
AND THEY LOVE THE TASTE OF DEAD HUMAN SKIN.
- MAN, GET ME OUTTA THIS HOUSE.
- SHHHH. HOW'D YOU GET THESE?
- I KNOW A GUY.
- WHO DEALS IN FOOT FISH? - YES.
NOW, WHEN YOU PUT YOUR FEET IN THE TANK,
THE FISH WILL NIBBLE OFF ALL THE DEAD FOOT SKIN
AND CALLUSES, LEAVING YOUR FEET INSANELY SOFT AND SUPPLE.
- SOFT AND SUPPLE.
- FIFTY BUCKS. - SEEMS EXPENSIVE.
- YOU WANT GROSS, CRUNCHY FEET?
'CUZ GIRLS DON'T DIG THAT.
- HAH-HOH! OH! OHH!
OOO-HOO! WOW!
- UH-HUH. FEELS GOOD, RIGHT?
- YEAH. IT'S LIKE A MILLION TINY KISSES, ON MY FEET!
OHHHHH!
[MUSIC]
- HEY, CAN YOU PASS THE SALT?
- WHY SHOULD I?
- 'CUZ MY FRENCH FRIES AREN'T SALTY ENOUGH?
SORRY TO PUT YOU TO THAT TROUBLE.
- GUESS WHO.
- UM, IS IT BECK?
- WHAT?
- I'M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. I DON'T...
- OH, YEAH. HEY, BECK.
- SHE'S FEELING MY FACE.
- UH, NO. NO, IT'S ME.
- DANIEL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I HAD A HALF DAY.
THOUGHT I'D COME VISIT YOU FOR LUNCH.
- OH! - WELL, THIS IS SO NICE.
DANIEL GETS TO HAVE LUNCH WITH HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND
AND HIS USED GIRLFRIEND.
- YOU KNOW, YOU CAN TRY TO MAKE THIS AWKWARD,
BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU,
EVERYONE AT THIS TABLE IS MATURE.
AND BY THE WAY, I DUMPED HIM, SO HAH!
- SOOOO, DID YOU INVITE DANIEL TO THE KICK-BACK?
- OH, MY GOD, I FORGOT. - KICK-BACK?
- YEAH. ONCE EVERY SEMESTER, THE SCHOOL LETS US
HAVE A SATURDAY NIGHT PARTY RIGHT HERE IN THE PARKING LOT.
- LIVE MUSIC, CHEESE FOUNTAIN.
- CHEESE FOUNTAIN?
- CHEDDAR. WILL YOU COME?
- YEAH, TOTALLY.
- TORI, WILL YOU BE AT THE KICK-BACK?
- YES, JADE, I WILL BE.
- OOH! GUESS WHAT I MADE?
- AH, WHAT'D YOU MAKE?
- BROWNIES!
- WOW. - SORRY.
DANNY DOESN'T LIKE BROWNIES.
- EVERYONE LIKES BROWNIES. OPEN.
- UH, YEAH--MMMMM. WOW.
THESE ARE REALLY GOOD.
- WHAT?
- HE SAID CAT'S BROWNIE IS REALLY GOOD.
- I MADE YOU BROWNIES TWICE AND YOU TOLD ME
YOU DIDN'T LIKE BROWNIES.
- YEAH, BUT CAT'S ARE DIFFERENT.
- DIFFERENT HOW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "DIFFERENT?"
- TORI...
- TRY ONE.
- HOW IS IT?
- I GOTTA GO.
- THESE ARE REALLY GOOD.
- IT'S LIKE A BABY'S BUTT.
- I KNOW.
YOU GUYS EVER FELT A FOOT THAT SOFT?
- NO. NEVER.
- I DIDN'T THINK SO.
THAT IS A QUALITY FOOT.
- IT REALLY IS.
[BELL RINGING]
- ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
HAVE A GOOD CLASS. - LATER, DUDE.
- UH, HOW COME ALL THOSE PEOPLE WERE RUBBIN'
ON YOUR FOOT?
- SEE FOR YOURSELF.
- HUH?
- FEEL IT.
COME ON.
ANDRE, COME ON.
- DANG, MAN, THAT'S SMOOTH.
- RIGHT?
- YEAH. HOW'D YOU GET IT SO SOFT?
- YOU WANNA KNOW?
- YEAH.
- YOU WANNA KNOW? - YEAH.
- ANDRE... - YEAH!
- Y'ALL ARE SERIOUS?
- OH, YEAH.
- DO IT. - DO IT.
DOOO IT.
- OH! OH-OH! OOO-HOO!
OOOOOO-OOOHH! OOOHH!
YEAH, BOY.
- AWESOME, RIGHT?
- YEAH. IT'S LIKE MY FEET ARE GETTIN' A MILLION TINY KISSES.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, GET 'EM, LITTLE FISHY.
CHEW 'EM UP. WHOOO! ALL RIGHT.
[MUSIC]
[DANCE MUSIC]
- WHOO!
- YEAH!
- HEY, SIKOWITZ.
- TORI!
HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR FIRST HOLLYWOOD ARTS KICK-BACK?
- IT'S REALLY FUN.
- WOULD YOU LIKE A SAUSAGE?
- UH, SURE. OKAY.
- EXCELLENT.
HERE'S A NICE FAT ONE.
I'LL JUST IMPALE IT WITH THIS STICK.
[SHRIEKS]
HERE YOU GO.
- THANKS. MMMM.
WHAT KIND OF SAUSAGE IS THIS?
- OH, JUST SAUSAGE. YOU KNOW?
- YEAH, BUT WHAT KIND OF MEAT IS IT MADE OF?
[DANCE MUSIC]
[JOYFUL SQUEAL]
- DANIEL EVER SPIN YOU LIKE THAT?
- YOU WANNA GET SLAPPED WITH A SAUSAGE?
- SURE.
- NO!
- NICE FOOT, DUDE.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
DOESN'T MY FOOT FEEL SWEET?
LIKE A BABY'S BUTT, RIGHT?
YEAH. UH-HUH.
CHECK THAT OUT, THAT'S RIGHT...
- JADE, JADE.
YOU GOTTA COME FEEL ANDRE'S FOOT.
- WHY WOULD I WANNA FEEL-- ALL RIGHT.
DANG, DUDE.
THAT'S SOME SOFT FOOTAGE.
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
- I MEAN, REALLY,
LET'S BE SERIOUS HERE.
THAT'S A NICE FOOT.
- RIGHT? I KNOW.
- WOW.
- IT'S SOMETHING. - YEAH.
- HEY, TORI.
- HEY, PRETTY THANG.
- OH, HUSH, REX.
- UH, HAVE YOU TRIED THE HOT CHEESE FOUNTAIN?
- NO.
- THEY HAVE A HOT CHEESE FOUNTAIN.
- OKAY.
[DANCE MUSIC]
- AAAAH!
- WHAT THE HAIRBALLS?
- YOU GOT CHEESE IN OUR HAIR!
- TORI...
- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
- I, I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW!
I JUST...
- OH, MY GOD.
- YOU SEE?
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU MIX TEENAGERS AND HOT CHEESE.
I WARNED YOU.
- HMM?
[MUSIC]
- TORI? YO, TORI!
- WE SAW YOU RUN IN HERE.
- WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT STUFF?
- SINJIN AND HIS FRIENDS ARE DOING SOME PLAY
ABOUT A CAMPING TRIP GONE WRONG.
- GONE WRONG?
- THEY END UP EATING EACH OTHER, I DON'T KNOW.
- TORI? TORI!
YO, TORI!
[PAINED SOUND]
- TORIIIII.
COME OUT TO PLAY-YAAAY...
- LEAVE ME ALONE.
- WHAT UP WITH THE HOT CHEESE ATTACK ON CAT?
- AND HER BOYFRIEND, DANIEL?
- I DON'T KNOW!
I MEAN, I'M SO NOT THE JEALOUS TYPE.
I'VE NEVER EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE.
BUT SEEING MY EX-BOYFRIEND MAKING OUT WITH CAT,
I GUESS I JUST-- I JUST LOST IT FOR A SECOND
AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW, MY HAND WAS ON THE CHEESE-VALVE.
UGH, I HAVE TO GO APOLOGIZE TO THEM.
- YOU WANNA GO FEEL ANDRE'S FOOT SOME MORE?
- YEAH.
[MUSIC]
- DANNY.
- HI. - WHERE'S CAT?
- OH, SHE'S STILL TRYING TO GET CHEESE OUT OF HER EAR.
- OHHHH. ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DID THAT.
- WERE YOU JEALOUS? - NO.
- 'CUZ IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR YOU TO BE JEALOUS.
YOU BROKE UP WITH ME.
- I KNOW. IT MAKES ZERO SENSE.
GUESS IT'S JUST A DUMB GIRL THING.
- LIKE WEARING A SKIRT OVER JEANS?
- YEAH, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
- I MEAN, ARE YOU MAYBE STILL INTO ME?
- NO. NOT AT ALL.
AND I LOVE CAT.
SHE'S LIKE THE SWEETEST THING EVER,
AND I'M PSYCHED YOU GUYS ARE GOING OUT.
I GUESS IT'S-- IT'S JUST...
[SQUEAKS]
- UH. - UHHHH.
- NOOOO-UHHH--
- CAT...
- OH, MY GOD. CAT...
- HEY, DO EITHER OF YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT KIND OF MEAT
SIKOWITZ USES IN THIS SAUSAGE?
I ASKED HIM AND HE JUST STARTED LAUGHING LIKE...
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
BYE.
- YOU SURE THIS IS SAFE?
- WE ALL DID IT.
- DOES IT HURT? - NOPE.
- OH.
- C'MON, IF YOU WANT YOUR FEET TO FEEL ALL BABY SOFT.
- OKAY, I HAVE LEFT HER 5 VOICEMAILS
AND SENT HER 12 TEXT MESSAGES.
WHY WON'T CAT TALK TO ME?
- 'CUZ YOU SQUIRTED HOT CHEESE IN HER EAR.
- AND PLAYED SMUSHY-FACE WITH HER BOYFRIEND.
- THOSE THINGS UPSET SOME GIRLS.
- YOU WANNA TRY THE POOKA FISH?
- YA GOT RICE AND SOY SAUCE?
- NO. - THEN NO.
- OKAY, GUYS. DO IT.
- DO IT.
- DOOOO IIIIT.
- AHHHH! OOO-HOO!
OOOOOO-AHHHH. OOH. OOH.
- SEE?
- IT FEELS GOOD, RIGHT?
- YEAH. IT FEELS...
- IT'S KIND OF LIKE, UM...
- LIKE A MILLION TINY FISH KISSES?
- YEEAAAHHHH.
[MUSIC]
- CAT!
I JUST WANNA TALK TO YOU!
- NO! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! NO!
WHOA, STOP IT! NO!
- CAT!
GOTCHA!
- LET GO! - NO! WE HAVE TO GO TALK!
- I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU!
- CAT! - I DON'T WANNA GET UP!
- C'MON, CAT!
- HELP! I NEED A TEACHER!
PLEASE, TEACHER.
- HELLO, GIRLS.
CAN YOU BELIEVE I SCORED TICKETS TO HALL AND OATES?
- ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
- OH, GOD. TORI!
- THIS WAY. ALMOST THERE.
OKAY. OKAY. HERE WE GO.
- ...STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING?
- OH, IT'S OKAY. SHE ENJOYS IT.
- LET ME OUT. - CAT!
- THIS IS KIDNAPPING, OR CAT-NAPPING.
OPEN THE DOOR.
- I'M SORRY!
AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING I'M SORRY, I'M REALLY, REALLY,
SERIOUSLY SORRY.
- YOU SPRAYED CHEESE ON ME AND THEN KISSED MY BOYFRIEND.
- YEAH. YEAH, I DID.
- WHY WOULD YOU BE MEAN TO ME?
- I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I DID STILL HAVE A FEW TINY LITTLE FEELINGS
LEFT FOR DANNY, AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY
I WENT A LITTLE CRAZY,
SEEING YOU TWO BEING ALL MUSHY TOGETHER.
- YOU COULDA JUST TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT.
- I KNOW.
WHAT I DID WAS TERRIBLE AND AWFUL AND IMMATURE
AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE FURIOUS WITH ME.
I SWEAR, CAT, IF I WERE YOU, I'D JUST PUNCH ME
RIGHT IN THE FACE.
OWWW! CAT!
- WHAT?
- YOU JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE.
- YOU SAID TO.
- I KNOW, BUT THAT'S JUST SOMETHING PEOPLE SAY-- OWWWW!
- DOES IT HURT?
- A LOT! OKAY.
I THINK MY NOSE MAY BE BROKEN.
- WELL, NOW I FEEL ALL BAD.
- DON'T. I DESERVED IT.
FEEL BETTER?
- I THINK SO.
- I'M SORRY.
WILL YOU TAKE ME TO A HOSPITAL NOW?
- SURE.
- THANK YOU.
[HOSPITAL PAGING SYSTEM]
IS IT BROKEN?
- I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST BRUISED.
HOW'D THIS HAPPEN?
- I, UH, FELL.
- ON WHAT?
- SOMETHING HARD.
- LIKE A ROCK. [CHUCKLES]
- WELL... WE SHOULD GET YOU X-RAYED.
TAKE A SEAT OVER THERE.
- THANK YOU. - UM-HMM.
[OFFSCREEN COUGHING]
Cat: WHAT!
Andre: DON'T TOUCH ME.
[OFFSCREEN GROANING]
OH, MY GOD!
- WHAT?
[ALL COUGHING]
- WHOA!
- YOU ALL LOOK AWFUL!
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- ASK YOUR SISTER.
- EWWW!
- IT SEEMS THEY ALL HAVE MYROLETICULITIS,
AN INFECTIOUS ATTACK ON THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM
THAT CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS UNLESS TREATED IMMEDIATELY.
- HOW'D THEY GET IT?
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
IT'S VERY RARE IN AMERICA.
HAVE ANY OF YOU RECENTLY GONE SWIMMING IN THE XINGU RIVER
NEAR PUERTO IGUAZU?
- TRINA.
- WHAT?
- TELL HIM.
- OKAY!
I BOUGHT SOME ILLEGAL POOKA FISH FROM A GUY IN A VAN.
- POOKA FISH?
FOR FEET SMOOTHENING?
- YEAH.
- DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?
THE SALIVA OF THE POOKA FISH IS RIDDLED
WITH TOXINS AND BACTERIA.
- BUT FEEL OUR FEET.
- YES, I REALIZE THAT THEY CAN NIBBLE AWAY
ALL OF THE--
WOW, THEY'RE REALLY SOFT.
NURSES, FEEL THESE KIDS' FEET.
EVERYONE.
- OH. OW, WOW. THAT'S NICE. - THAT'S LIKE A BABY'S BOTTOM.
- WOW. - DON'T TOUCH ME.
- WOW, THEY'RE ALL LIKE THAT.
- ALL RIGHT, CHECK THIS OUT,
FROM THESLAP.COM.
- SEE THIS PIERCING HERE,
AND THIS ONE HERE?
I GOT BOTH OF THEM ABOUT 45 MINUTES
AFTER MY MOTHER TOLD ME I WASN'T ALLOWED
TO GET MY FACE PIERCED.
SORRY, MOM.
I HAVE RECURRING DREAMS THAT I REEEEEAAAALY
CAN'T TELL YOU ABOUT.
- OKAY, THERE'S A LOT MORE STUFF LIKE THAT AT THESLAP.COM.
SO, GO THERE.
[BELL DINGS]
Man: MMM!
Robbie: THAT IS A QUALITY FOOT.