(WOMAN ON INTERCOM) - THE CAPTAIN HAS TURNED OFF THE FASTEN SEAT BELT SIGN.
YOU'RE NOW FREE TO MOVE ABOUT THE CABIN.
- HEY, TORI. HEY.
- WHAT?
- IS THIS CHICKEN?
- (SNIFFS)
I THINK IT MIGHT BE PINEAPPLE.
OR PART OF A THUMB.
- UCK. I CAN'T EAT AIRPLANE FOOD.
TOO GROSS. UCK.
- AND WHY IS THIS NOW ON MY TRAY TABLE?
- 'CAUSE I'M DONE WITH IT.
- I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE DONE WITH IT.
(BANGING)
KEEP YOUR GARBAGE ON-- - HEY, HEY, KID!
I TOLD YOU TO STOP KICKING MY SEAT.
- SO? (BANGING) - STOP THAT!
- YOU'RE NOT THE QUEEN OF THIS PLANE.
(BANGING) - EXCUSE ME.
WILL YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SON?
- (SIGHS) WILL YOU STOP KICKING HER SEAT?
- NO.
- SOME PEOPLE ARE SO RUDE.
- I KNOW!
(BEEP)
(MAN ON INTERCOM) - THIS IS CAPTAIN STU BING.
SORRY ABOUT OUR LATE START TODAY.
WE SHOULD BE ARRIVING IN LOS ANGELES AT AROUND 11:14 PM.
(BEEP)
- WAIT, WHAT TIME DID HE SAY?
- 11:14.
- OH, GREAT, 3 AND 1/2 HOURS LATE.
- WHY DO YOU CARE? - I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET ANDRE, BECK, AND CAT,
TO WRITE A SCRIPT FOR CLASS THAT'S DUE IN THE MORNING.
- WHAT TEACHER? - GRADSTEIN.
- OOH, HE'S TOUGH.
- NO CHIZ.
- WHAT IS CHIZ ANYWAY?
- ANDRE THINKS IT'S A GERMAN SAUSAGE.
- HERE IS YOUR WATER. - AH, THANK YOU.
- CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
- EXCUSE ME? - YES?
- DOES THIS PLANE HAVE WI-FI? - NO.
BUT WE DO HAVE WIRELESS INTERNET SERVICE.
- THAT'S WHAT WI-FI IS.
- PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME ATTITUDE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M GONNA SEE IF ANDRE'S ONLINE
SO WE CAN WORK OVER VIDEO CHAT.
- OH, SMART. MAYBE YOU GUYS CAN--
(BANGING)
DID YOU JUST KICK MY SEAT AGAIN?
- WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR BUTT?
(BANGING)
- LOOK, IF YOU DON'T KNOCK IT OFF,
I'M GONNA TELL THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT.
- OOH, YOU'RE A SCARY WITCH.
- I WISH I WAS A WITCH,
'CAUSE I WOULD TAKE MY BROOMSTICK AND I WOULD--
- TRINA, SIT!
OH, GOOD, ANDRE'S ONLINE.
- I NEED SOME MORE AIR.
- YOU HAVE A PIMPLE UNDER YOUR ARM.
- DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!
- TORI VEGA, WHAT'S UP?
- HEY! I'M ON THE PLANE!
- OH, YOU'RE ON THE PLANE?
WELL, IF I WERE YOU, I'D GET IN THE PLANE.
(LAUGHING)
SO YOU'RE ON THE PLANE.
- AND I'M NOT GOING TO LAND UNTIL AFTER 11:00.
- OH, BUT WE GOTTA WRITE THAT SCRIPT FOR CLASS.
- I KNOW.
WANT TO DO IT OVER VIDEO CHAT?
- YEAH, SURE. I'LL TEXT CAT AND BECK,
TELL THEM TO GET ONLINE.
- COOL. - WILL YOU POP THIS FOR ME?
- NO!
- I LET YOU BORROW MY GREEN SWEATER LAST WEEK.
- AND THAT MEANS I SHOULD POP YOUR PIT PIMPLE?
- YES. WE'RE SISTERS.
IF YOU HAD A PIT PIMPLE, I'D--
(BANGING)
QUIT KICKING MY SEAT!
- (MOCKING) QUIT KICKING MY SEAT!
(BANGING)
- YOUR DESSERTS.
- WH-- WHAT IS THIS?
- I DON'T KNOW. PUDDING?
- OH, IT'S GOT FUR ON IT.
- JUST LIKE YOUR PIMPLE.
- ♪ HERE I AM ♪
♪ ONCE AGAIN ♪
♪ FEELING LOST ♪
♪ BUT NOW AND THEN ♪
♪ I BREATHE IT IN ♪
♪ TO LET IT GO ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T KNOW ♪
♪ WHERE YOU ARE NOW ♪
♪ OR WHAT IT WILL COME TO ♪
♪ IF ONLY SOMEBODY COULD HEAR ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT HOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE LOST IN THE MOMENT ♪
♪ YOU DISAPPEAR ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID ♪
♪ TO PUT YOUR DREAM IN ACTION ♪
♪ YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FADE ♪
♪ YOU'LL BE THE MAIN ATTRACTION ♪
♪ NOT A FANTASY ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME ♪
♪ WHEN IT TURNS OUT RIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU LIVE ♪
♪ IN YOUR IMAGINATION ♪
♪ TOMORROW YOU'LL BE EVERYBODY'S FASCINATION ♪
♪ IN MY VICTORY ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME ♪
♪ WHEN I MAKE IT SHINE ♪♪
- WOO! YOU'RE A LONG ONE.
- HEY. TORI.
- OH, HEY.
DID YOU GET CAT AND BECK?
- YEAH, THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET ONLINE.
- NICE.
WHERE ARE YOU?
- AT MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE.
- WHY ARE YOU AT YOUR GRANDMA'S?
- SHE CALLED ME AND SAID SHE WAS SCARED
BECAUSE THE NUMBERS KEPT CHANGING ON HER DIGITAL CLOCK.
- ISN'T THAT WHAT CLOCKS DO?
- ALL I KNOW IS WHEN I GOT HERE, SHE WAS HIDING UNDER HER BED.
- DID YOU GET HER OUT? - UH, HUH.
BUT I HAD TO USE BUTTER.
OH. CAT'S ON.
- YEAH, I SEE. LET ME INVITE HER.
- HEY, ARE YOU GOING TO EAT YOUR PUDDING?
- YOU ATE YOURS?
- YEAH, I JUST SCRAPED THE FUR RIGHT OFF THE TOP.
IT WASN'T BAD.
- GO NUTS.
- HI. - WHAT'S UP, LITTLE RED?
- HEY, CAT. - ANDRE.
- ONE SEC. WHAT'S WRONG, GRANDMA?
- THE NUMBERS ON MY CLOCK CHANGED AGAIN.
- IT'S A CLOCK, GRANDMA.
THE NUMBERS ARE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BUTTER?
- I'LL GO TO THE STORE TOMORROW AND GET YOU SOME MORE BUTTER.
(SCREAM)
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- MY GRANDMOTHER JUST SCREAMED.
- WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?
- I DON'T KNOW. I THINK SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIRROR.
- ANDRE, THERE'S ANOTHER ME ON THE WALL.
- IT'S OKAY, GRANDMA,
JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF. I'M SURE SHE'S NICE.
- BECK'S ONLINE. - YEP.
- REQUESTING--
(BANG) - OW!
- WHAT?
- THAT ROTTEN KID BEHIND ME
KICKED MY SEAT AGAIN AND MADE ME POKE MY EYE.
- I DIDN'T KICK YOUR SEAT.
- YOU DID TOO.
- HOW'S YOUR PIT ZIT?
- THAT TEARS IT.
- TRINA. TRINA.
HE'S A LITTLE BOY.
- YEAH, AND I'M ABOUT TO PUT HIM
INTO A LITTLE HOSPITAL.
- YOU REQUESTED MY FACE.
- HEY, MAN. - HI.
- HEY, BECK.
- IS THAT A DOG WITH YOU?
- OH, LOOK AT THE PUPPY.
- HE'S CUTE, HUH? - SO CUTE.
-IS HE YOURS? - NO, I'M WATCHING HIM
FOR MY NEIGHBOR WHILE SHE'S AT HER CHEERLEADING PRACTICE.
- YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR TO A CHEERLEADER?
- I DO.
- FIGURES. I LIVE NEXT DOOR
TO A ONE-LEGGED OLD MAN WHO THROWS LEMONS AT ME.
- SO, WHAT'S UP?
- TORI'S PLANE'S LATE.
- I DON'T GET IN TIL ALMOST MIDNIGHT.
- BUT WE GOTTA WRITE THE SCRIPT FOR GRADSTEIN'S CLASS.
- YEAH, SO WE'RE GONNA DO IT HERE OVER VIDEO CHAT.
- OH, SOUNDS GOOD.
- ALL RIGHT. I WILL TYPE.
- CAT, READ THE ASSIGNMENT.
- KK.
IT SAYS...
WRITE A SINGLE SCENE SCRIPT
BETWEEN SEVEN AND 10 PAGES.
THE SCENE MUST INVOLVE A MYSTERY.
OOH. USE AT LEAST THREE CHARACTERS
AND HAVE A SURPRISE PLOT TWIST.
- GOT IT. - WE CAN DO THAT. - IDEAS?
- HEY, YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR A CUTE JOKE?
- A JOKE? - YEAH. LISTEN.
- OK. WHAT DID THE YOUNG SHRIMP SAY
WHEN HIS MOM ASKED HIM WHY HE WOULDN'T SHARE ANY OF HIS TOYS?
- WHAT? - SORRY.
I'M A LITTLE SHELLFISH.
GET IT?
'CAUSE SHRIMP ARE VERY SELF-CENTERED.
- I-- I THINK THE JOKE IS THAT
SHELLFISH SOUNDS LIKE SELFISH.
- OH, MY GOD. THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER.
OK. BACK TO THE SCRIPT.
- HEY, WHAT IF OUR SCRIPT'S ABOUT A KID
WHO GOES INTO A CLOSET TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING,
AND... (BEEP)
- UGH.
- WHAT? - WHO WAS THAT?
- ROBBIE'S REQUESTING TO JOIN OUR CHAT.
- HEY. - HI.
- WHAT'S UP? - HEY, ROB.
- HEY, ROBBIE, WHAT DID THE YOUNG SHRIMP SAY
WHEN HIS MOM SAID-- - I'M A LITTLE SHELLFISH.
YOU TOLD ME YESTERDAY.
- POO.
- LISTEN, I NEED YOUR GUYS HELP.
HM. YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.
I DON'T EITHER.
- ROBBIE. - WE'RE TRYING TO WORK
ON A SCRIPT THAT'S DUE IN THE MORNING.
- THIS WILL JUST TAKE A SECOND.
- OK. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
- WELL, ON FRIDAY AT SCHOOL, I ASKED REX
IF HE WANTED TO SEE A MOVIE WITH ME ON SUNDAY NIGHT.
TRUE OR FALSE?
YOU SAID, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT
SEEING A MOVIE ON SUNDAY NIGHT?
AND I SAID, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
EXACTLY. AND NOW IT'S SUNDAY NIGHT,
AND REX SAYS HE HAS OTHER PLANS.
WHICH I DO.
WHY WOULD YOU GO AND MAKE OTHER PLANS
WHEN YOU SAID YOU'D SEE A MOVIE WITH ME?
- YOU GUYS. - I NEVER SAID
I WOULD SEE A MOVIE WITH YOU.
I SAID, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
YOU NEVER CALLED ME TO CONFIRM.
- I'M GOING TO GET A ROOT BEER.
- ROBBIE. REX.
YOU GUYS WORK THIS OUT YOURSELVES.
- BYE, ROBBIE. - WAIT, NO.
DON'T KICK US OUT OF THE CHAT.
NO, DON'T.
- ALL RIGHT. BACK TO OUR SCRIPT.
- HEY, WHAT IF WE WRITE ABOUT A GIRAFFE WHO LEARNS TO LOVE?
- A GIRAFFE?
- THAT-- THAT'S NOT GOOD.
- NO.
- LET'S JUST STICK WITH THE KID IN THE CLOSET.
- RIGHT. SO I WAS THINKING,
MAYBE HE COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.
AND HE GOES INTO HIS CLOSET,
AND THERE'S, LIKE, A SMALL SECRET DOOR
IN THE BACK OF... - (GIGGLING)
- CAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I CLICKED ON RAINBOW.
WOO!
- WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THAT?
- WE GOT TO DO THIS PROJECT.
- SORRY.
- NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
- THE KID GOES INTO HIS CLOSET.
- RIGHT.
AND MAYBE HE'S NOT A NORMAL KID.
MAYBE HE'S, LIKE, CREATED BY A SCIENTIST
IN A GOVERNMENT LAB OR--
- WHO'S THAT? - JADE.
LET ME SEE WHAT SHE WANTS.
- OH.
- HEY, LOOK, WE'RE DOING THIS PROJECT
THAT'S DUE TOMORROW MORNING, SO--
- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
- HOME. WHY?
- I LEFT YOU A VOICEMAIL, AND YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME BACK.
- I'M DOING HOMEWORK.
- SO YOU WANNA BREAK UP WITH ME.
- WAIT, NO, NO. WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT I WANT
TO BREAK UP WITH YOU? - WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT ANIMAL?
- IT'S MY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
- HIS NEIGHBOR, THE CHEERLEADER.
- CHEERLEADER?
- WHY? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
- SORRY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT CHEERLEADERS HAVE?
PEP.
- PEP?
- DID SHE SAY PEP?
- WHY ARE YOU DOING FAVORS FOR A CHEERLEADER?
AND WHAT IS SHE DOING FOR YOU?
- IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. SHE'S JUST--
- I'M COMING OVER THERE. - NO, NO.
YOU DON'T NEED TO-- - ALL RIGHT.
SO FAR WE HAVE NOTHING.
SO IT WOULD BE GREAT IF WE COULD DO
A LITTLE WRITING TOGETHER. OK?
- LOOK, I'M IN A KALEIDOSCOPE.
WOO!
- WHOA, HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
- YOU JUST CLICK EFFECTS IN THE LOWER LEFT.
- THIS IS NOT A TIME FOR EFFECTS.
- WOO, HOO!
- HEY, LOOK AT ME.
YOU GUYS ARE GIVING ME A HEADACHE.
- ANDRE.
- WOO, I'M GETTING DIZZY. LOOK AT ME.
I'M SPINNING AROUND.
- WHAT EFFECT IS THAT?
- UH, IT'S SPIN CLOCKWISE.
- WHY TELL HER THAT?
WE'RE NOT MAKING PROGRESS.
- HERE I GO.
- ANDRE. I NEED YOU TO FOCUS
AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON... - I'M SPINNING.
I CAN'T FOCUS ON ANYTHING.
- IT'S LIKE A SPACESHIP.
- I'M PRINCESS ROTATION.
- YOU GUYS, WE HAVE A PROJECT TO WORK ON.
I'M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND WATCH YOU GUYS SPIN CLOCKWISE.
- HEY, YOU HEARD THE LADY. READY?
- COUNTERCLOCKWISE.
- OH, REVERSE.
WE'RE IN REVERSE NOW.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
- LOOK AT ME, GOING BACK IN TIME.
- WHEN DID I BECOME THE MATURE ONE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
QUIT IT! - MAKE ME!
- OH, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU, KID.
- YOU GUYS-- - (SHOUTING)
-THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY AROUND. -PLEASE.
- YOU CANNOT TREAT ME LIKE THAT, EXCUSE ME?
YOUR SON IS BEING A BRAT.
(SCATTING)
ALL RIGHT, SO,
THE LITTLE BOY YELLS--
WILL YOU STOP THAT?
- WHAT?
- STOP DANCING IN YOUR SEAT LIKE A WEIRDO.
SO THE LITTLE BOY YELLS, WHAT?
- HOW ABOUT, MOM, THERE'S EVIL IN MY CLOSET.
"EVIIIILLL."
- OK. GOOD. HOW DO I SPELL "EVIIIILLL"?
- USE FOUR "I"S AND THREE "L"S.
- GOT IT.
OK, NOW, WHY DON'T WE SAY,
THE MOM WALKS INTO THE CLOSET
TO FIND HER SON'S FACE BEING EATEN BY--
- LOOK. NOW I'M A CHERRY PIE.
I'M PIE GIRL.
BUT DON'T BITE OFF MY NOSE.
- CAT, WE HAVE A 10-PAGE SCRIPT DUE TOMORROW MORNING,
AND WE'RE ON PAGE THREE. AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING AT ALL.
NOW WILL YOU PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD?
(CRYING)
- THERE SHE GOES.
- OKAY, LOOK, I DIDN'T MEAN TO YELL AT YOU.
PLEASE DON'T CRY. I'M JUST FRUSTRATED BECAUSE--
OH... - WHAT HAPPENED?
- I MADE CAT CRY, AND SHE SIGNED OFF.
- WELL, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO BE MORE CAREFUL
WITH PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.
(BANGING)
STOP KICKING MY SEAT, YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE NUB.
- SHUT UP, OLD LADY.
(LAUGHTER)
- ARE YOU GOING TO LET YOUR KID TALK TO ME THAT WAY?
- I GOT TO TAKE A WHAZ.
- ENJOY YOUR WHAZ.
- SO, WHERE ARE WE IN THE SCRIPT?
- STILL PAGE THREE. THE BOY SAYS, MOM,
THERE'S EVIL IN MY CLOSET, EVIL.
- RIGHT. - OH YEAH.
- OK, SO NEXT, WHY DON'T WE SAY
THE CLOSET STARTS TURNING INTO, LIKE, A FIERY DEN OF--
- IS THAT ROBBIE AGAIN?
- YEAH. HE WANTS TO REJOIN OUR CHAT.
- NO. - DENY IT.
- DENIED.
- MOVE BACK. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- THE TANNING SALON. WHERE DO YOU THINK I'M GOING?
I GOTTA TAKE A WHAZ.
- THE NUB'S DAD IS IN THE BATHROOM.
- I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE.
I'M GOING TO GO PEE IN THE FIRST CLASS LAVATORY.
- YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO. - YEAH, YEAH, MOVE.
- AH! - WHAT WAS THAT?
- THAT WAS TRINA'S BUTT.
- OOH... THAT WAS HORRIBLE.
- YOUR SISTER'S A FREAK.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- BUT SHE'S KIND OF HOT.
- DID YOU JUST CALL MY SISTER HOT?
- YEP.
BUT YOU'RE HOTTER.
- SO, WHO'S YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND THERE?
- NOT CUTE, ANDRE.
(BANGING) - WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
- OPEN THE DOOR. (BANGING)
- IS THAT JADE?
- YEAH.
I'M BUSY WORKING ON A PROJECT.
(BANGING)
- I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. (BANGING)
- SORRY, DOOR'S LOCKED.
(CRASH)
NOW IT'S NOT LOCKED.
- SHE HAS A KEY?
- NO, SHE'S HAS A FOOT.
- WHAT IS GOING ON?
- YOU JUST KICKED MY DOOR OPEN.
- PUT THE DOG DOWN AND TELL ME
ABOUT THIS CHEERLEADER CHICK WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
- I'M NOT GOING TO PUT THE DOG DOWN.
- OH, AREN'T YOU?
- IF YOU WANT TO MEET THE CHEERLEADER,
SHE'LL BACK ANY MINUTE TO PICK UP HER DOG.
- THEN I'LL WAIT FOR HER.
- WHATEVER YOU WANT.
- OK. CAN WE GET BACK TO WRITING THE SCRIPT NOW?
- YEAH, LET'S GET THIS DONE.
- OK. BOY'S IN THE CLOSET,
FACE BEING EATEN, MOM WALKS IN, AND--
- ANOTHER VIDEO CHAT REQUEST?
- WHO IS IT NOW?
- SOMEONE NAMED
LIL' STEPHANIE 21.
- WHO'S SHE? - I DON'T KNOW. LET ME SEE.
- HELLO.
- ROBBIE. - DUDE.
- OH, COME ON.
- YOU CREATED A FAKE SCREEN NAME?
- WELL, YOU DENIED MY REAL ONE.
- BUT WHY 'LIL STEPHANIE 21?
- BECAUSE 'LIL STEPHANIE ONE THROUGH 20 WERE TAKEN... WHAT?
- YOU COULDN'T HAVE PICKED A BOY'S NAME?
- SAYS A LOT, DOESN'T IT?
- LOOK, DON'T YOU GUYS AGREE
THAT IF A PERSON SAYS HE'LL SEE A MOVIE WITH YOU
ON SUNDAY NIGHT, HE SHOULD HONOR THAT COMMITMENT
AND NOT JUST LEAVE ME HANGING?
- WHAT HAPPENED TO ROBBIE?
- MY FINGER. - AH.
INTERCOM: ALL PASSENGERS PLEASE--
- MOVE, MOVE, MOVE.
- AHH! - IT'S BACK.
- WILL YOU STOP WIGGLING YOUR BUTT
IN MY FRIENDS' FACES?
- GUESS WHO I JUST MET IN FIRST CLASS?
- WHO? - PEREZ HILTON.
- SHUT UP.
- I SWEAR. ROW ONE, SEAT B.
- OH, MAN, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T BOTHER PEREZ HILTON?
- I HAD TO.
- TRINA.
- DO YOU REALIZE HOW POWERFUL HE IS IN HOLLYWOOD?
HE COULD MAKE ME FAMOUS OVERNIGHT.
- SO YOU TALKED TO HIM?
- I TRIED TO, BUT THEN HE CALLED
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT, WHO CALLED THE SKY MARSHAL,
AND THEN THEY ESCORTED ME OUT OF FIRST CLASS.
- SO WHY ARE YOU ALL SMILEY?
- I GOT HIS CAMERA.
- WHY? - BECAUSE, TOMORROW,
I'LL EMAIL HIM, SAY I FOUND HIS CAMERA,
AND HE'LL BE SO GRATEFUL WHEN I GIVE IT BACK
THAT HE'LL WRITE ABOUT ME IN HIS BLOG,
AND I'LL BE FAMOUS.
- WHATEVER HAPPENED TO GETTING FAMOUS
BY HAVING SOME TALENT?
- TALENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING FAMOUS.
- OH, NOW WHO?
- SOMEBODY WANTS TO JOIN OUR CHAT.
- IT'S PROBABLY ROBBIE AGAIN.
- UGH. - WHAT'S THE SCREEN NAME?
- MR. SKINNY JEANS.
- THAT'S SINJIN. - (SIGH)
- HEY, GUYS.
I SEE YOU'RE VIDEO CHATTING.
- WHAT DO YOU NEED? 'CAUSE WE'RE REALLY KIND OF BUSY.
- ARE YOU ON A PLANE?
- YEAH, I'M ON A PLANE.
- AND THEY HAVE WI-FI?
- NO, SINJIN, I HAVE THE WORLD'S LONGEST
INTERNET CABLE HANGING OUT THE WINDOW.
- NAH, HUH.
AIRPLANE WINDOWS DON'T OPEN.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
SINJIN.
- HI, JADE.
- WHERE DID YOU GET THAT LAMP?
- UM, AT THE LAMP STORE.
- IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE LAMP I HAVE IN MY DEN AT HOME.
- OH. WEIRD.
- ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?
TAKE YOUR COMPUTER WITH YOU.
PLEASE DON'T TELL MY MOTHER.
- ALL RIGHT, WE'RE NOT ACCEPTING
ANY MORE CHAT REQUESTS, OK?
- GOOD. - AGREED.
- ANDRE, STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF.
- GRANDMA, I'M NOT TALKING TO MYSELF.
I'M TALKING TO TORI AND BECK.
- THAT'S A LIE. THEY'RE NOT HERE.
- I KNOW THAT. I'M TALKING TO THEM ONLINE, SEE?
- HI, MRS. HARRIS. - HOW YOU DOING?
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
- GRANDMA. - (SCREAM)
- AH, GRANDMA,
JUST GO SIT DOWN ON YOUR COUCH.
- IT'S JUST ME, MRS. HARRIS.
- LEAVE ME ALONE!
- GUESS THAT JUST LEAVES YOU AND ME.
- AND ME.
- LET'S JUST GET AN F AND BE DONE WITH THIS.
- OH, COME ON. WE CAN FINISH THIS SCRIPT OURSELVES.
- YOU REALLY WANT TO?
- SURE. WHY DON'T WE JUST TRY TO--
- OH, NOW WHAT?
IS THAT YOUR CHEERLEADER FRIEND?
- COME IN. - YEAH, COME IN.
- HI, BECK.
- HI, ALLIE.
JADE, THIS IS MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR, ALLIE.
ALLIE, THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, JADE.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- HELLO, ALLIE.
- THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF SPARKLES.
- ANYTIME, KIDDO.
- YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S PRETTY.
- I KNOW.
- BYE. - SEE YA.
- WOW, JADE.
LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT SOME COMPETITION THERE.
- YOU GONNA SAY YOU'RE SORRY?
- YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS NINE.
- YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A CHANCE.
- DON'T TRY TO TURN THIS AROUND ON ME.
- HEY-- - YOU LOVE MAKING ME JEALOUS.
- BECK. - (OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)
- LISTEN. - (ARGUING CONTINUES)
- CAN YOU GUYS FIGHT LATER?
- STAY OUT OF THIS, TORI.
- BUT I JUST NEED BECK TO HELP ME
WRITE... OH.
- NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
- I AM GOING TO FINISH WRITING THIS SCRIPT MYSELF.
- WE HAVE 62 MINUTES UNTIL WE LAND,
AND I'M SURE IF I TYPE REALLY FAST,
I CAN GET THIS DONE.
- YOU! - PEREZ.
- OH MY GOD, YOU'RE PEREZ HILTON.
- YOU TOOK MY CAMERA.
- NO, NO, I DIDN'T.
- YES, YOU DID. IT'S IN YOUR HAND.
- I'LL GIVE IT BACK IF YOU WRITE ABOUT ME.
- NO, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. GIVE ME MY CAMERA.
- OH, COME ON. - TRINA.
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND... - GIVE ME MY CAMERA.
- THIS IS, LIKE, SOMETHING THAT I'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE. NO NO NO.
- (SHOUTING) - OH MY GOD!
(OVERLAPPING SHOUTING)
- PEREZ HILTON IS ON MY LAP!
- CAN YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR PARTY?
- NO, STOP IT!
- (SHOUTING)
- THIS IS A REALLY BIG DEAL TO ME!
- (SHOUTING)
GIVE ME MY CAMERA!
(SHOUTING)
- AHH! YOU'RE CRAZY!
- I LOVE YOU, PEREZ!
- TRINA!
STOP HARASSING PEREZ HILTON!
AHH!
- HEY, IT'S ME, PEREZ HILTON.
NOW HERE COMES A VIDEO FROM THESLAP.COM.
- SLAP IT, BABY.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME IF THIS IS MY NATURAL HAIR COLOR.
NO, IT'S NOT.
I MAKE IT THIS COLOR BECAUSE I LOVE RED VELVET CUPCAKES,
AND THIS IS THE EXACT SAME COLOR OF A RED VELVET CUPCAKE.
BUT IT TASTES LIKE HAIR.
ENJOY YOUR WHAZ.