♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick
♪ Kick Buttowski, Buttowski
♪ Kick
♪ Kick Buttowski
♪ Kick, Kick, Kick
♪ Kick Buttowski
♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick
♪ Kick
♪ Kick Buttowski
♪ Kick Buttowski! ♪
(DINGS)
Now, to protect the cookies.
Honey, have you seen...
No, I haven't. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I'd love to help you find whatever it is you're looking for
but I've got something in the oven. I mean, fridge. Not oven.
Nothing whatsoever in the oven.
There's nothing to eat. Mom! There's nothing to eat!
Help me, Kick. Can I have a snack first?
You're the only one I can trust.
But, Mom, I...
Quickly, where no one can hear.
Mom?
You must guard these cookies from your father!
I spent all day baking these
and I need them for my shuffleboard game tonight.
Uh, can't you just give him one?
No! Your father goes crazy for my cookies.
He can't eat just one.
He'll stop at nothing to devour them all.
I'll leave the house as a decoy.
And hopefully your father will follow me.
But if he doesn't, you're on your own.
Protect the cookies with your life.
You have my word, Mom Captain.
Good luck, Kick Buttowski. I'm counting on you.
Now to hide these...
Coo, coo, coo coo, coo... Hey, there, sport.
What you got there?
Nothing. Uh, I got to go to my room now.
Have fun in your room, son.
While you can.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(EXCLAIMS) Cookies. (THUD)
Mmm. No wonder Dad goes crazy for these.
DAD: Hey, Kick, can you give me a hand in the attic?
I'm organizing the Christmas decorations and...
Sorry, Dad. I can't right now.
Oh, just spot your old man,
make sure I don't fall down the ladder?
Oh, Dad, I really can't leave my room.
I'm helping Gunther with math homework.
(MIMICS GUNTHER) I don't know about this fraction, Kick.
Just add a decimal point and a percentage sign and you'll be fine.
DAD: Oh, but, son, I really need your help
with these ornaments and lights.
Not to mention that creepy electric Santa.
I'll just lift this heavy stuff on my own.
(DAD WHISTLES)
(CRASHING) (GRUNTING)
Kick, help me. Maybe, it wasn't a trick.
I'm hurt bad.
(CAT YOWLS) (DAD GROANS)
Not buying it, Dad.
Ah! The reindeer antler, it burns!
(CRASHING NOISES)
Dad? Are you okay?
Ho ho ho.
Maybe he did need help.
Give me the cookies! (SCREAMS)
Cookies!
How did you know?
I always know.
(LAUGHS MENACINGLY)
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho. Take that. You dumb little Saint Nick.
Santa ain't getting cookies this year, Kick.
I am.
What am I doing? Come on, Harold.
You don't need these cookies.
Yes, yes we needs them.
We must have the sweetness.
No, no, no. Kick's a good kid.
He's just doing what his mother told him.
(GASPS) We takes the cookies. And we eats them.
Well, hard to argue with that logic.
Cookie town, here I come.
You'll have to find me first. (CHUCKLES)
Let's make a deal, son.
I'll give you, let's see,
$2,478.63 for all the cookies.
You're carrying $2,478.63?
Are you taking the deal? No.
Then I'm only carrying $11.92.
Give it up, Dad! I promised Mom I wouldn't let you have them.
But you see, son, I made a promise to my stomach.
Now, give me the cookies!
He's crazy. Mom was right.
Gotta call Mom.
(LINE RINGING) Pick up, pick up.
Give me the cookies or your brother gets deodorized.
Please! Help me, dillweed!
Don't let him destroy my man musk!
The ladies love it. I'll do it.
(LAUGHS)
You don't seriously think I'm gonna give these up to save Brad's hygiene?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Enough. I can't believe you didn't help your own brother!
You would've helped Gunther.
Gunther.
(GASPS) Gunther!
(DOOR OPENS)
Hold on, buddy, I'm coming.
Safety first.
Gunther, you're okay. Of course, I am.
So you haven't seen my dad?
Nope. I definitely haven't seen your handsome dad.
Say, can I see the cookies you've got in that tin?
Yeah, sure, buddy.
My mom wanted me to hide these cookies from my dad.
(GASPS) Wait a second.
How did you know there were cookies in here?
Um, X-ray vision?
X-ray vision, huh? Then what's under my helmet?
Another helmet?
Huh. Lucky guess.
Well, why don't you just show me the cookies, son?
I mean, best buddy.
Aha!
I know it's you under that mask, Dad.
Now take it off.
(GROANS) What're you doing, Kick?
It is you. Well, why did you call me son?
Why do I do a lot of things?
Hey, Kick, got any of those groovy cookies your mom makes?
Hi, Gunther. Oh.
I mean, I'm the real my son's friend!
(SCREAMS)
You will never get these cookies.
Where are your legs?
You don't want to know.
He'll never get me up here.
I tried to be reasonable, Kick.
No you didn't! Oh, right.
Now, give me a cookie. No!
(YELLS)
Here I come.
You're gonna have to pay for that tree.
(HISSES)
Thank you, Majestic.
Oh, Kick! Where'd you go?
Come on, Daddy wants to help you with your homework.
(RINGING DOORBELL)
Kick! How can I help...
(GASPS) Mrs. Buttowski's cookies, in my home.
Are you mad, child?
Mr. Vickle, nobody else will help me!
I need to keep these away from my dad!
It's no use, Kick.
Give up the cookies.
Don't let your father do to you what he did to us.
Our efforts to keep him cookie-less only fueled his appetite
and one by one we fell.
No. I promised my mom.
I won't let him eat these cookies.
Don't be a fool, Kick.
The next time your father comes knocking there will be no escape.
DAD: Cookies, are you home? (BANGING ON DOOR)
You're on your own, kid.
(BANGING ON DOOR) (DOORBELL CHIMES)
(DOORBELL CHIMES RAPIDLY)
Hey, Kick. I got you a new skateboard.
Why don't you stop so I can give it to you?
(CAT YOWLS)
(DOORBELL CHIMING)
Mr. Perkins, you gotta let me...
Hey, Clarence, what's wrong?
DAD: Oh, Kick! Cookies smookies.
You mother made cookies again, didn't she?
Mmm-hmm.
And these are said cookies.
Then there's only one thing left to do.
AUTOMATED VOICE: T-minus three, two, one.
Lift off.
Aw, biscuits. But on the bright side, sayonara, Kendall!
What have you done to my house?
Oh, you're still here.
Kick, come now, son.
Your old man's heart ain't what it used to be.
I can't be running all over town looking for you.
You know, only the cookies will help me.
Is that your dad looking for cookies?
Mmm-hmm.
DAD: Cookies!
Help me protect the cookies.
WOMAN: Sorry, nobody home.
Help me protect the cookies. MAN 1: Just moved.
Help me protect the cookies.
MAN 2: Good bye, Mellowbrook.
Help me protect the cookies.
Fancy bumping into you.
Here let me help you up.
Ha!
I need those cookies, Kick.
No, Dad! I won't let you.
Just one.
Never.
(YELLS) Stand back!
Or I'll soak them, ruining their crispy texture.
No! You wouldn't, they're so young!
Mere babes! They did nothing to deserve this!
Just try me. Mom's orders are to keep you from eating these.
No matter what.
(SIGHS)
It's over, Dad.
Or is it?
At long last, my precious.
Huh?
DAD: Crumbs!
Come on, come on.
Phew.
Oh, Kick. There you are.
Mom, I did it. I kept the cookies away from Dad.
Great! Now hand them over.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I guess this is the way the cookie crumbles.
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
Give me the cookies, Kick!
Kick, what are you doing? No! (CHOMPING NOISES)
(CAR HONKING)
(GASPS) Kick! The cookies!
I did it! Dad didn't eat them!
You weren't supposed to eat them either!
Oh, Kick, I shouldn't have burdened you with this responsibility.
Oh, maybe I shouldn't have made those cookies.
Maybe, I should have just made a cake.
Cake? Ew.
That's okay, Mom. I learned a valuable lesson in all this.
And what's that?
I must have more of those cookies!
(LAUGHS) Mookies, mookies!
(BOTH YELLING)
DAD: Hot, so very hot.
Ah. Good thing I'm in here with my dearest Cheap-o-Chill,
you're worth every penny.
Mmm. Sweet, tingly coolness.
BRIANNA: I'm going in, Teena. Cover me, with lipstick.
(LAUGHING)
Unhand my clock, sister.
(GASPS) Not till I'm done with his makeover.
(GRUNTS)
Let go. No, you let go.
No, you. You!
You!
(BOTH GASPING)
Huh? No! My precious air conditioned air!
Breathe! Breathe!
BOTH: We broke it.
(SCATTING)
Hello, Tankini Lumberjacks.
Told you I'd be back.
And The Brad never breaks a promise to a magazine.
You! You did this!
You broke the only thing that makes summer in this house tolerable!
Huh? I don't even know what you're talking about!
Do you know how much the repairman costs?
We're talking hundreds of dollars!
At least tens.
It wasn't me! I swear! I swear!
All right, Bri, time for us to come clean and confess that it was us.
Bradley! You're grounded! For the whole summer!
BRAD: No!
On second thought, I have a whole summer of stunts planned!
None of them in my room!
And I'm leaving for Teena Sometimes' Camp Sometimes.
Sometimes a camp, sometimes a salon!
I will not miss it!
But what about Brad?
Do you want to spend your summer grounded,
or do you want Brad to?
All we have to do is stay cool.
You're right. We can do this.
We can do this, no problem.
BRAD: Why? I've been framed.
(SCREAMING) Why?
I see you feeling guilty.
Just stay cool, no one will know we did it.
Ah, only 17 hours till Camp Sometimes.
The clock is ticking! (BRAD SOBBING)
(GASPS) The clock!
Gotta get rid of the evidence.
Goodbye, summer.
Goodbye to all the things that I had planned.
Going to the moon, winning the lotto, and getting a real girlfriend.
I guess I don't feel that bad.
Brad's summer plans are ridiculous.
Even got tickets for the Gnarly Games for me and the dillweed.
Oh, the depression.
Brad was going to take me to the Gnarly Games?
Oh, the guilt.
Kick, go inside. You're blocking the slight breeze.
(MAN WHISTLES)
(PURRS)
Yeah, take a picture it'll last longer!
(CAMERA CLICKS) Hey, give me that picture!
Hey, Brad. How's it going?
(SOBBING)
Cheer up, bro. This won't be so bad.
I mean, look at the bright side,
you still get to watch TV, play games, work out,
eat bad food, and stay up late!
All summer long.
And maybe this'll cheer you up.
I brought you your Tankini mags you had stashed in the bushes.
How'd you know where my magazines were stashed?
Uh...
I, uh, think I hear Mom calling me.
Enjoy your solitude, bro.
Yeah, Brad.
I gotta do the right thing.
I can't take this anymore.
BRIANNA: Kick, you gotta help me.
Bri?
I can't take it anymore! It's just too much!
I know! Me too! Let's tell Dad!
Huh? I'm talking about Camp Sometimes.
We're only allowed 12 suitcases.
How am I supposed to pack my summer wardrobe
into just 12 extra-large suitcases?
There's no way I can be seen without at least 20!
Oh. That's also what I was talking about.
Wait a minute, you were getting ready to blab, weren't you?
If you make it so I can't go to camp
I'll make sure you never do stunts again.
Ever!
Just give it a few days. The guilt will fade.
(SHIVERS)
Well? Is that nervous lip-bite a yes? Or...
(WHISPERS) Never. Again.
Maybe, Bri is right.
I just need to give it a few days and everything will be cool.
Hot, so very hot. (GROANS)
Dad, are you okay?
Oh, my poor, poor Cheap-o-Chill.
What has Brad done to you?
Oh, why couldn't Brad be more like you, Kick?
You've always been the good son.
You'd never betray me like your Cheap-o-Chill murdering brother.
Why? Oh, why? Oh why?
Dad. I've got to tell you the truth. I...
Love you very much. We both do.
There goes two good eggs.
Oh, Kick, what are we going to do with you?
So yappy, yappy, yappy.
Now am I crazy, or did we not just agree to keep it a secret?
The guilt is too much! Brad doesn't deserve...
(CHUCKLES) Poor, defenseless little Brad?
Brad is a doofus!
How soon you forget what he does to you!
But he was going to take me to the Gnarly Games.
Oh, Kick. He probably just wanted to humiliate you.
Like when he dyed all your jumpsuits pink.
(CHUCKLES) That was actually pretty funny.
Like when he put cement tires on your bike during your gully jump.
That hurt. A lot.
Or what about when he glued your helmet to your head.
I live with those scars every day.
This is your chance to even the score.
Give him a taste of his own medicine.
With more of his medicine for dinner.
And more of his medicine for dessert.
Now, get out there and show the world how cool you can be.
Um, I need you to untie me first.
(SCOFFS) Brianna's right. I can deal with this, no problem.
Brad totally deserves this.
Hello there, dillweed. Brad!
I wondered how you knew about my Tankini mags.
So, I did a little investigating.
And guess what I found?
A new brain? Yes, I found a new...
I mean... What?
No! I found something so diabolical, so sinister, so...
Sure it's not your brain?
I mean, it sounds like your brain.
No, it's this.
(GASPS)
I never expected a betrayal like this.
But I knew it was you.
You broke my heart, dillweed.
You broke my Brad heart.
You may as well tell Dad and get it over with.
I can't live with the guilt anyway.
Oh no. No, no, no, no.
I won't rat you out.
I've got my own brand of punishment.
Something much, much worse.
Because you'll never know when it's coming.
Fine. I'll just tell Dad myself.
I'll make sure that you never do stunts again!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
Ow! I just slammed the door on myself!
Yeah, Brad.
(SIGHS)
I made everyone some delicious soup!
How sweet!
Aw, thank you, Bradley!
Hope you enjoy it. It's good enough to be a last meal.
Ah! Get it off! Get it off!
I'll make my own lunch.
Here you go, brother. I refilled the propane tank for you.
(BRAD LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Brianna! Brad knows!
He's trying to get revenge on me.
He tried to get me with piranha soup,
and blowing up Dad's grill.
Oh, you're being paranoid!
Brad makes a delicious soup,
Dad buys cheap grills.
Just calm down, it'll be fine.
No! I have to confess!
Ah, Atomic Peppers for an atomic lover.
Dad! I... (BRIANNA YELLS)
Little known fact that spicy foods
cause you to sweat more, which cools you down.
And I've got the hottest peppers known to man.
How's about we all stay cool with some fresh lemonade?
Made it special, just for you.
Real special.
Kick, drink the lemonade!
You need to stay hydrated in this horrible oven of a house.
Yeah, drink it! It will help you stay cool.
Hmm. That wasn't so bad.
Wonder why they're called delayed-reaction peppers?
(SCREAMS)
Hey, the inspector's here.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
Everything okay in here, Inspector Finecomb?
You're gonna be my punching bag all summer long!
And there's nothing you can do.
The problem is obvious!
And if you tattle on me, your stunting days are history!
It's broken...
Because...
No more stunts.
Punching bag.
Enough! Brad didn't break the air conditioner!
(GROWLS)
It was me. I broke it!
(BOTH GASPING) Wait. What?
You? You! You.
The betrayal! It burns!
So what's it gonna be, Dad? Huh?
Lock him in the basement till he's 30?
Let him out to use the bathroom once a year on his birthday?
Maybe take off his helmet and see what's under there?
I'm sorry, Dad. I should have confessed.
You're darn right you should have confessed!
And you're gonna find a way to pay for the AC!
Whoa, now! Let's all take a step back!
Okay, that was fun.
Now as for this AC unit, no one broke it.
Harold simply bought the cheapest air conditioner known to man.
Only person to blame is Dad Buttowski.
(GASPS) Don't gasp!
You know you bought the cheapie!
I'm surprised it lasted this long.
Fixing it's gonna cost you big.
Do you, uh, take Brad Bucks?
Like I told you last winter, no!
I'm sorry I blamed you, son.
It's okay, Dad. I would have blamed you, too.
Well, now that everything's straightened out...
Oh, no, you don't. You lied to me
and I know just the punishment.
(PANTING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Stay cool, Brad.
Stay cool, Dad.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Oh, this is the last of it.
See you dorks at the end of summer.
Whoa! Be careful, driver, my life is up there.
Nothing ever happens to Brianna.
(GIRLS YELLING)
(ALL CHEERING)