(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Speak fucking English!
What's on his face?
Oh, my God, oh, my God! He got into my coke.
(DOOR BUZZING)
- Gallagher. - How is he?
He's alive. Could have permanent brain damage.
Please tell me that I love him, okay?
And I'm so, so sorry.
It wasn't Fiona's fault.
Nobody saw Liam. You know that, right?
(SOBBING) Liam is in the hospital. And he almost died.
- LIP: Where were you last night? - DEBS: Matt's.
V: Who's Matt?
Oh, you're Matt? "The" Matt? How fucking old are you?
We got to find Frank
or they're gonna put Liam into foster care.
Shit.
- Frank! - We almost lost you.
Nope. Not ready to punch my ticket yet.
Gallagher, you made bail.
We're just looking for our brother, Ian Gallagher.
He's at work. The White Swallow, in Boystown.
Some army MPs came by looking for you.
They want to arrest you for going AWOL.
That's hilarious.
(ALL COOING)
- Look at you. - Hey, buddy!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
(LIAM LAUGHING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Can you do this?
- Fiona coming down for breakfast? - She's not up yet.
(PLAYFUL GASP) Here's your Tang, Liam. Here you go, baby. Here.
Make sure he drinks the whole thing.
- He needs his electrolytes. - Okay.
That's right, and from now on, nothing goes in your mouth
unless we give it to you, buddy.
- Okay. - Okay.
What's that smell?
Guess! Frank, stop smoking weed!
Carl, get Liam away from the stairs.
Look, I'll take Liam to school today.
I'll grab us some dinner while I'm there.
What about Coq Au Vin? Sheila made it once.
Yeah, well, I hope you remember what it tasted like.
It's probably the last time you're gonna have it in your life.
We could order a pizza.
Fiona used to let us do that when she's working late.
No, it's too expensive. All right?
We're back to generics from Food 4 Less, and dumpster diving.
I could buy a few groceries.
Yeah, that'd be nice since we have two extra mouths to feed.
Now why don't you just tell Frank to lay off the weed?
He's very sick. Worse than ever.
Yeah, well, we're very out on our asses
if the social worker makes a surprise visit,
and the place smells like Snoop Dogg.
Yeah, the only reason we're letting you stay here
is to take care of Frank.
- I don't think you guys understand. - Understand?
We've lived with that narcissistic asshole our whole lives.
Now you're trying to play big sis?
You're lucky we don't bounce you to the curb.
- So if we say no more weed... - We mean no more weed.
- Okay. Fine. - Good.
Now listen, everybody, remember
that when the social worker does show up...
And this includes you too, Chuckie, so listen up.
...you text me immediately. I'll hop on the L.
- What about Fiona? - I've got her covered, all right?
I just need you to stall the social worker until I can get back.
- Are we understood? - Yeah.
- Yes? - Yes.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
That's my ride.
Got to stop by Sheila's to water her plants
- while she's out of town. - Deb.
And I won't be home for dinner.
- Why? Where you going? - Friend's.
Hey, Sammi, listen.
We've been dumped into foster care way too many times
because of that prick upstairs.
There's no way I'm letting it happen again.
Here you go.
- Hi. - Morning.
Morning.
- Hey, can I get a ride? - Your ride's over there.
Uh-uh.
- Stop it. - Come on, V.
No.
- I'm too bloated and constipated. - I'll fuck it loose for you.
Ew!
I don't mean in the butt. Morning sex keeps you regular.
- No, I'm not in the mood. - You're never in the mood.
That's because Huey, Dewey, and Louie,
are taking up all the room down there.
Are we ever gonna have sex again before they come out?
Probably not.
Don't know how women say they get horny when they pregnant.
- All right, well, jack me off then. - Jack yourself off.
Fine. But let me get something to look at. Peek at a titty.
Mm-mm.
- Everything is hairy and gross. - Since when? You're never hairy.
Leave me alone. From hormones.
I got hair growing everywhere
and mucous coming out of me for days.
All right, fine. I'm gonna go jack myself off in the bathroom.
But I don't think it's gonna work thinking about all of your mucous.
I'm gonna need to borrow your truck today.
KEVIN: What for?
I've got to take Fiona to the courthouse for her prelim,
and then I have a Dr. Ma appointment.
KEVIN: Oh, shit. No. Dr. Ma?
I gotta go with you. I can't miss an ultrasound.
I love watching those dudes grow but I gotta work tonight.
Yeah, well, you'll go next week.
KEVIN: All right. Bring me those pictures, okay?
- You finished already? - Mm. Know thyself.
Hey! What the fuck? Can I take a shit in private, please?
- Douche bag, go find your boyfriend. - Get the fuck out! Close the door.
I looked for him all day yesterday and he's not answering my texts.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Don't play dumb with me.
Ian! You know, you're the reason that he left.
So go find him. I gotta go to work.
Not my fucking problem.
You know what? Nothing's ever your problem.
For once, you know, make something your problem.
What the fuck does a squirrel have to do with waffles, anyway?
(DOOR SLAMS CLOSED)
Oh, fuck. Mandy!
(SIGHS)
- (GURGLES) - (GROANS)
LIP: Hey, buddy, we're gonna leave the house
so we need your hat and diapers.
- Hey. - Hey.
Hi, peanut. Hey. It's okay.
Come here. Come here, peanut. Come here.
How are you? How are you feeling?
Are you okay? Yeah?
I'm so sorry. I would never do anything to hurt you.
I would never do anything to hurt this face. This face.
Hey, Liam, come on. We're gonna be late. Come here, bud.
- Where you going? - School.
- With Liam? - Yeah.
Well, I was gonna go meet with my lawyer,
- but I was gonna take Liam with me. - No, thanks.
- Come on. - Lip...
- There you are. - It was an accident.
We're gonna put your coat on downstairs. Is that okay?
Yeah? Yeah?
Sort your shit out.
That Gallagher kid's sister gave his baby brother cocaine.
Dude, I bet he's retarded now from it.
Totally.
- ♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪ - ♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪
- ♪ Retarded little Gallagher ♪ - ♪ Retarded little Gallagher ♪
- ♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪ - ♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪
BOTH: Cocaine baby brother.
Come on. Are you fucking kidding me?
When's this thing gonna be done?
Yeah, sure, it's not your business you're camped out in front of.
Unbelievable, someone pays you for hole standing.
How do I get a job like that?
Seriously? This is what you're doing?
You're just staring at that one guy working?
Hey, buddy. When you're done with work,
come on in for a beer. But just you, not them!
Enjoy your coffee. Fucking hole standers.
MAN: Where's the keg?
A little early to be drinking, isn't it?
- Shit. - Where's the keg?
What kind of keg you looking for?
We got old style, Schlitz, Michelob...
Not a keg of beer, asshole! The keg with the money in it!
No idea what you're talking about.
(GUNFIRE)
That's my fucking keg!
That's my money, bitches! That's my money!
Bitches, that's my fucking money!
Even now you're just gonna stand there and do nothing?
Those fucking kids robbed me!
Could you at least help me get this duct tape off?
Ahh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
- Dorm. - Yeah, and what's in a dorm?
- Hipsters. - Hipsters. Very good. Very good.
All right, come on. Going up. Whoo-hoo-hoo! There we go.
- Jesus! - Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry.
You know, it's not like it's my room or anything.
Okay. Fine. I'm dressed.
All right. Come here, buddy.
- Who's this? - Liam. He's my kid brother.
- Hi, Liam. - You know, I'm just grabbing a book.
And we're gonna get out of here.
I'm sure you have some kind of a sorority,
cheerleader, Mensa, vagina meeting or something.
- Hey, Liam, do you like clementines? - No!
It's okay, buddy. Go ahead.
(AMANDA LAUGHS)
- It's not a ball, it's food. Here. - It's good.
- You? - No.
But if you're cracking open that Toblerone. Thanks.
My parents send me this care package crap once a week.
Yeah, my parents, they sent me a care package, too.
Seriously, take anything you want.
- Or if you have a request. - What?
Yeah, Kuzner was getting back acne,
so I told my dad that I needed Accutane.
Sent me a six-month 'script. Never knew it wasn't for me.
- Is he a doctor or something? - No. Just connected. Miami.
Is that where you're from?
- After all these months, huh? - Sorry.
Hey, I could watch Liam for you if you wanted.
- Like while you're in class. - No, that's okay.
I don't have anything till five o'clock.
No, we just went through some pretty serious shit at home.
So I'm being kind of protective of him right now. Right?
I'll send you a text picture every 30 minutes.
Well, call me, you know, if there's a problem.
Yeah, don't worry. Everything will be fine.
Hey, Amanda's gonna watch you for a few hours.
- Is that okay, buddy? - Okay.
- Okay.
Hi, Pops. Poppy? Daddy?
Still trying to figure out what to call you.
- Working on that blog again? - Five chapters.
- Oh, my God. What's that smell? - Burger King. I got you a Whopper...
- Get it out! Get it out! - My goodness. I'm sorry.
(VOMITING)
SAMMI: Ohh...
- Oh, God. - The smell did it?
You need more proof than this?
Let's get you off these stinky sheets.
Time to change them, anyway.
- Be careful. My papers. - Okay. Okay.
(GROANING)
I'm cold. Give me my pipe.
Pops, Debbie and Lip asked me
not to let you light up in the house anymore.
Had a little run-in with them this morning.
Don't think they like me very much.
Well, screw them. I'll light up any time I want.
I'll blow smoke in their eyes until they cry if I feel like it.
Lip said the social worker's gonna show up unannounced.
Yeah, the social worker can bite my ball bag.
I'm not the one who let Liam get into a pile of coke.
- You know that was an accident. - Come on. What are you doing?
We have to be on our best behavior.
I'm in pain.
They could end up in foster care.
Don't you wanna keep this family together?
They're poisoning you. That's what's going on.
You'll turn against me, you mark my words.
How can you say that? Take it back!
Fuck you.
I would never, ever turn against you.
Yeah? Well, then prove it. Give me my pipe.
How about I give you your next Oxy instead, huh?
(PILLS RATTLING)
That's a good idea. Now you're thinking.
You'll be fine. It's just a formality.
The bathroom line took forever.
There's a guy out there who's here
because he threw bleach on his baby's mama.
CLERK: On Your Honor's preliminary hearing calendar,
calling case S6974356.
State of Illinois v. Fiona Gallagher.
Craig Jeffries on behalf of the State of Illinois.
Maria Vidal, on behalf of Fiona Gallagher,
- who's on my left. - Good morning.
Ms. Gallagher, at your arraignment, you entered a plea of "not guilty".
- Is that still your plea? - Absolutely, Your Honor.
And, Mr. Jeffries, where does the government stand on this case?
Your Honor, we have enough evidence
to proceed with possession and child endangerment.
Child endangerment? It was an accident.
Mr. Jeffries, what evidence have you submitted at this point?
The police report from the arresting officer,
which includes an admission of guilt from the defendant,
the cocaine removed from the face and the hands of the victim
and a toxicology report
indicating the levels of the drug in the child's system
when he was admitted to the ER.
We'll be asking for a minimum of five years in state prison.
What?
It is our hope, Your Honor,
that the court will take into consideration
that this is my client's first offense,
and that the state granted her guardianship
of her five siblings last year.
Ms. Vidal, I urge you and the ADA
to discuss this matter outside of my courtroom.
Work something out. Come back with a plea bargain.
- Yes, Your Honor. - ATTOURNEY: Yes, Your Honor.
You're dismissed.
- What's going on? - Good news. Come on.
Where's Mickey? No, please don't answer.
God forbid, you do something meaningful with your lives.
You should work for the city.
You have qualities they're looking for.
Hey, what the hell are you doing here?
- I need a gun. - Who you gonna kill?
You wearing cologne?
No. It's Kenyatta's perfume soap shit.
- You use another dude's soap? - So what?
- It's got pubes on it. - No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does. What guy doesn't have pubes on his soap?
My soap doesn't have pubes on it.
Well, obviously, you're not washing your pubes.
You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes?
Just give me a gun.
You run a bar on the South Side. How the fuck do you not have a gun?
Not everyone's a thug.
- What you need it for, anyway? - Alibi got robbed.
They stole the keg that I keep the money in.
Wait, wait. The rub and tug money?
Considering it's the only money
that I'm pulling in these days, yeah.
- You keep that in a fucking keg? - I don't trust the banks.
Kev, that's my money.
No, it's my money with 30 percent going to you.
30 per... Who came up with that? We're 50-50.
- Bullshit. 50-50? It's my bar. - My whores.
Yeah? Well, get your ass down there and protect your whores.
You're supposed to be providing security.
- Not for 30 percent I'm not. - What's going on?
Steven Seagal here let somebody steal our cash.
Yes, because your pube-loving husband wasn't doing his job.
SVETLANA: Hey, where you going?
I gotta take care of something important.
I'll be down to the bar to protect your seven-foot ass as soon as I can.
No, we cannot work if it's dangerous.
It's not dangerous. It's not gonna get robbed twice in a day.
If it does, can you please shoot them
in the fucking face this time?
Hey. You know how to use this thing?
Of course I know how to use it.
Oh, my God.
(MUTTERING IN RUSSIAN)
Thanks very much. Appreciate it.
What did he say?
At this point, all our conversations need to be privileged.
- What? - I need to talk to Fiona alone.
I have a doctor's appointment, anyway. You gonna be okay?
- I'll talk to you later. - Okay.
Walk with me. I gotta be at Cook County in 20 minutes.
I asked Mr. Jeffries if he'd agree to three years probation.
Wow, that'd be great.
No promises. But it is possible.
You'd have to plead guilty.
That means you'll have a criminal record.
- But no jail time? - Very little if any.
- How very little? - Sixty days? Ninety tops?
Wait, so I get probation,
but I still have to go to jail for three months?
It's only for a fraction of the time they're asking for.
I can't go back to jail.
Why don't we just wait and see what he proposes?
Can we go to trial?
Fiona, I do this every day.
I'm telling you. We have a great argument for probation.
You're a first time offender and you called the paramedics.
DA doesn't want you clogging up the jail,
or this case gumming up the system,
taking them away from real criminal cases.
But what happened with Liam was horrific.
A jury is gonna hate you.
I can negotiate the hell out of this.
I don't wanna go to jail at all.
Well, we don't get everything we want.
And a good negotiation
is when both sides feel like they got screwed.
PROFESSOR: The third law of thermodynamics simply stated is,
"The entropy of a perfect crystal at absolute zero
- is exactly equal to zero." - (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Now, from our earlier discussions,
we know that entropy is a measure of what?
ALL: Disorder.
And a crystal is a solid
whose atoms, or molecules, or ions are arranged
- in what kind of pattern? - ALL: Ordered.
PROFESSOR: Very good. We'll pick this up tomorrow.
Don't forget.
Assignments e-mailed to me by five p.m. this evening.
Hey, Professor Sacco. I'm sorry.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to get my assignment in tonight.
I had a bit of a family crisis.
- When do you think you'll have it? - Tomorrow.
Every day it's late, I'm docking you a half a grade.
- Comprende? - Yes, comprende. Thank you.
What's chicken cordon bleu?
Nothing you can make with what's in Matty's kitchen.
Well, what should I make him for dinner then?
Since when did you guys get back together?
He helped when Fiona got arrested.
Good thing I didn't hit on him. I was totally gonna.
Okay.
This algebra crap is ridic. Who gives a shit about math?
- When am I ever gonna use it? - Probably all the time.
Let me just copy yours.
How about spaghetti and meatballs?
- Anything with balls in it is good. - Okay.
- Hey. - Hi.
Where the hell have you been?
Gary broke up with me,
because his parents don't want him to have a baby.
- So I cut myself. - What?
- Then my mother found out. - That you cut yourself?
No, that Gary broke up with me.
So she dragged me to his house this morning,
but he was still asleep.
So my mom and his mom got into this huge fight.
Then the cops came.
And that's how come I'm late for school.
- But why'd you cut yourself? - Yeah, that was stupid.
The one time a guy dumped me, I just made myself puke.
Think Gary will get back together with you?
He said he'd think about it.
You should totally have a family emergency.
That'll make him come back. Worked with Matty.
Okay, like what?
You could tell him your dog got sick.
- Or that you got molested. - That's a good one.
Good afternoon. Sorry about the wait.
Had to throw a stitch into a patient's cervix
before her little critter slipped out too early.
- Yikes. - But we're all good.
And it's time to look at your little critters.
- Okay. What, no Kev? - Work.
Mm. And how have you been feeling lately?
Bloated and fat.
- Something wrong? - Well, I have the two.
But I can't seem to find the other. Let's see.
Sometimes they hide.
Yeah, well, check behind my bladder
because I've been peeing like 50 times a day.
Where are you?
Well, I think we might have a fetal resorption.
What the hell is that?
It happens with multiples.
When the fetus isn't strong enough to survive,
the others sometimes absorb it.
- "Absorb it?" As in eat it? - Not exactly. But yes.
One of my babies is gone?
But the other two look very healthy.
Is it something that I did?
Nope, just Mother Nature's way of selecting out the weaker baby.
- MAN: Looking fine. - Fuck off.
I like them rough.
I'm Scott. You want to get out of here?
No, I don't want to... You seen this kid?
You like them skinny.
I could lose 30 pounds if you wanted.
Thirty poun... Maybe in your ass, man.
Where's the manager?
- Yo, you the manager? - Who's asking?
Since you just saw me speaking,
I'm gonna take a wild stab it was me.
- You seen this kid? His name is Ian. - Never saw him before.
Why don't you take a look again?
He used to work here so I'm pretty sure you have.
I can't keep track of every twink
who comes and goes in this place, all right?
Okay. This twink went AWOL a couple days ago
after your bouncer kicked his brother and kid sister
out into the street. You remember that?
Look, you little tweaker.
You think you're the first one to come in here boo-hooing
about some cocktail slut
who jacked you off in the bathroom, told you it was true love,
and then disappeared? Trust me. You're not.
So why don't you buy yourself a drink,
and fall in love with somebody else?
- You calling me gay? - Please, honey.
You make Justin Bieber look straight.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Now, I know you know where he is, dick breath.
So you're gonna tell me,
or I'm gonna shut this come-hole down over possession,
intent to sell, and prostitution. Okay?
He's at our other location. Fairy Tail in Boystown.
Thank you. That so difficult?
Yo, anybody coming?
No, but hurry up, man. Apurate. Come on.
- All right. - Hurry.
Frozen burger patties look good.
Gringo, how you gonna get out with all that stuff
- and not get caught? - I'm not going out the front.
Okay, take the trash out, put this on top of the dumpster.
I'll grab it on my way home.
You're not as dumb as you look. You know that, right?
- That should do it. Got that? - Got it, got it, got it.
- All right. - See you later, gringo.
Hey. How you doing?
Know how many Tumblr drinking blogs there are out there?
I could write a better one than these douche bags.
Wait, so your mother was dating two different guys
- while your father was in prison. - That we knew of.
"Smoking a coke-laced bowl of weed is the best high ever?" Amateurs.
- Wasn't she afraid he'd find out? - FRANK: He did. Got an early release.
Walked in on her screwing Vavoo.
Some busboy she brought home from the restaurant.
- Oh my God. What did he do? - Vavoo? He crapped himself.
(SAMANTHA LAUGHS)
My father did what he always did.
- Beat on me. - Why you?
It was my fault. It was always my fault.
My mom got away scot-free.
I got a whupping. Said I should've been keeping her in line.
What about Uncle Clayton and Wyatt and Jerry?
They were his favorites. Why do you care so much?
Just want us to get closer since we have limited time.
Limited ti... We do not have limited time!
Jesus! What's the matter with you?
Jesus!
Isn't this why you're writing your memoirs?
I am not writing my memoirs. This is my gift to humankind.
This is my trade book.
People will pay good money for my knowledge.
You're right, you're right.
Why are you listening to the doctors?
They don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
We have... we have all... Fuck. Fuck!
- Breathe, breathe. Okay? Breathe. - Dear God. Shit.
- Breathe, breathe. - Oh, God.
Hey. Hey. I didn't mean to upset you.
We have all the time in the world, okay?
I told you, you're just like the rest of my kids.
No, I'm not. Please, I take it back.
Okay? I take it back. We don't have limited time.
You're goddamn right we don't.
Okay. Come on, come on. Come here. Here.
No! I need a nap.
What, are you mad at me now?
Look, I promise, I'll never say it again.
SAMANTHA: I have a present for you.
I was saving it until you got really sick.
I could give it to you now.
- Is that what I think it is? - Did I do good?
Help... Help me. Help me sit up.
- Oh, fuck. Oh, God! - Okay.
I need to go get Chuckie. Be back lickety-split.
Take your time.
All right, listen up. Bar got robbed this morning.
Yeah? What'd they take? The cocktail napkins?
(LAUGHTER)
Six hundred dollars for your information.
- So who stole it? - I give up. Who?
No, not who stole it, like, guess who stole it.
Who stole it like which one of you fuckers stole my money?
Why do you think we stole your money?
- Because you knew where I hid it. - Where?
- In the damn keg! - Ooh! We do now.
I said, who stole my money?
(GUNS COCKING)
What, everyone has a gun?
Bible says we have the right to bear arms. So I bear arms.
- It's the constitution. - No shit?
Well, I'm keeping my eye on all of you.
Huh.
Where should I put the money now, Mr. Kevin, if there's no keg?
Give it to me. I'm gonna put it where no one dares to touch.
From now on, we trust no one, Paco. No one.
- Hey, babe. - Hey, baby. How was the appointment?
Well, we're down to two babies.
- No. What happened? - Huey ate Dewey.
Are you kidding me?
No, doc says it happens all the time with multiples.
If one's not strong enough, they just go away.
- Are the other two okay? - Yeah.
(SIGHS) I don't know how to feel about this.
No, me either.
- It's a bit of a relief, right? - Sort of.
I was getting used to the idea of having four babies.
Yeah, me too.
Probably a bad time to tell her the place got robbed.
- What? - Tommy, shut up!
V, don't worry.
No one's taking any more shit from me.
My babies, my money.
I'm battening down the hatches.
I'm putting a force field around us now.
Babe.
Taking care of what's mine. Come here. Get in my force field.
- Hey, man. What's up? - What the hell do you want?
Heard you talk about my little brother, Liam,
on the bus this morning.
You mean your retarded brother?
Yeah. He wants you to meet two of his friends.
- Your retarded brother has friends? - Yeah. Meet Mongo and Loid.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
- Fuck. I think he broke my nose. - Sucks for you.
Brother's still gonna be retarded.
Can't ice a damaged brain, Gallagher.
Schmuck.
- Hello? - Hey.
Hi. What are you doing here?
Making spaghetti and meatballs. Looked it up online.
It's really not that hard.
- How'd you get in? - The super.
- She unlocked my apartment for you? - Nope.
Told me where you kept the spare key.
Okay, why would she do that?
Because I told her it was our anniversary
and I wanted to surprise you.
- Huh? - We've been dating a month today.
It's okay if you don't remember.
You can just make it up to me on our two-month anniversary.
Okay, Debbie. We need to talk.
Hey, can you fix Ellie up with someone?
- Her boyfriend dumped her. - She the pregnant one?
Mm-hm.
I'm... I thought we said we weren't gonna date anymore.
We did?
Yeah, that time you came over? You wanted to have sex?
- I wasn't clear about what happened. - Okay.
We can't be boyfriend and girlfriend.
But you were there for me with Liam and Fiona.
- Yeah, that's what friends do. - "Friends?"
Look, Deb, I really like you...
But then why are you breaking up with me?
Because you're too young.
I should've lied about my age.
I mean, we can try again when you're older, but...
- How much older? - Sixteen? I don't know.
- What's wrong with me? - Nothing, Deb. You're perfect.
You just... You gotta date guys your own age.
I should probably date girls my own age.
Dinner smells good.
I want to go home.
(MAN TALKING ON TV)
- Hey. - Hey, what's for dinner?
Take Liam upstairs. I'll get it ready, okay?
Kids at school said he's retarded.
Fuck them. He's not retarded.
Go clean up. Clean up.
(LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
Time's up, lovebirds. Get up.
That means get the fuck up. It's my turn.
I'll look for you later, Curtis.
Curtis? Your fucking stage name?
- Twenty-five bucks gets you a dance. - Excuse me?
Don't want to dance, you gotta move on.
Okay, all right. Twenty-five bucks for your ass, huh?
Never had to pay for that shit before.
So how's your day going so far?
- How's my fucking day going? - Having fun?
No, I'm not having fun.
I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.
Your family's worried about you.
Hello? What the fuck?
I can't talk to you like this. Can we go outside?
These fudge packers got so much snow up your beak,
you're tweaking like a little bitch.
Twenty-five bucks only buys you one dance.
Okay. Then let's go back to my place.
You can sober up a little bit.
Catch up or some shit.
Tell me where you've been all this time.
That was fun. Find me if you want another one.
Are you fucking kidding me? Hey, hey.
Look, you don't wanna hang out with me, that's fine.
You need to call your family.
Your dad's dying, Ian.
Fiona almost killed Liam. Call them.
Is everything okay here, Curtis?
- Everything's great, Roger. - Good.
Because that guy over there looks like he may want a dance.
- Right there. - I'm on it.
- Thank you. - Okay.
Don't choke on any grey pubes.
Relax, Shaft. I'm leaving.
Are you retarded now?
I hope you're sleeping and not in a retarded haze.
Hi.
What was jail like? You get any tattoos?
It was claustrophobic.
It's lonely, sad.
- They try to shave your head? - You can't tell this is a wig?
They treat you like cattle. No one cares about you.
- Anyone get stabbed? - Probably if I was there longer.
You can't piss or shit in private.
The worst part was not knowing if I'd see you guys again.
Don't end up there.
- Smells good. - Yeah.
- Where'd you get all this stuff? - School.
Thanks.
- So, I had my prelim hearing. - Yeah?
Yeah, my lawyer's gonna try to get me probation
- if I plead guilty. - Okay.
Might have to serve a little time, though.
- Yeah? How long? - Ninety days or less.
All right. I suppose we'll manage.
- Or I could go to trial. - Why would you want to do that?
- Why wouldn't I do that? - Because you'll get convicted.
- You don't know that. - Yes, I do.
- I made a mistake. - You're guilty.
- It was an accident. - You almost killed Liam!
You don't think I know that?
You don't think I'm blaming myself enough already
so I need you to do it, too?
So how long are you in prison if you lose?
Five years.
All right, so that makes me almost 25.
Still at home, taking care of the kids.
I know I can win.
Ghetto chick leaves her drug addict boyfriend's coke out
for her three-year-old brother to eat.
Half a gram in the system. Yeah, you're right. You can totally win.
- I didn't do it on purpose. - Yeah, but you did it!
(EXHALES)
I turned my back, for, like, two seconds
and now my life is ruined? How is that fair?
You're his guardian. You signed up for this.
I can't go back to jail.
- Of course, this is all about you. - Yes, it's about me!
Because it's never about me. And I'm finally making it about me!
So what, I'm supposed to drop out of school
while you do five years?
- I'm not guilty! - Liam almost died!
And that was you! All fucking you!
Your coke, your boyfriend, your fucked up life!
It's not mine! All right?
Frank's passed out up in the bathroom.
Oh, fuck. Shit.
He's shooting heroin now?
- Is he dead? - No, unfortunately not.
- My God. - Carl, grab his legs.
- He shit himself. - All right, use a fucking towel.
- I got him. You got him? - Where we taking him?
- Where we always do: street. - What's going on?
It smells up here.
Good. You're home. You deal with him.
- Daddy? What happened? - He's unconscious.
Must have had too many Oxy's.
Save it. All right? Just get him the fuck out of the house.
- What? - I warned you. Now go!
Carl, come here.
Get rid of any evidence in Frank's room, all right?
He is too sick to leave the house.
Yeah, no shit! You just let him shoot a bunch of fucking H!
He was in pain!
What if the social worker had showed up right now?
But she didn't.
These kids would've been taken away. And what do you care?
You just want to make nicey-nicey with daddy.
You get the fuck out of my house!
- Fiona? - You have to go, Sammi.
Pops? Oh, God.
- You okay? - Yeah. Fine.
You know, we can still do stuff together.
Yeah. Great. Cool.
- You know, go to movies... - Perfect. Sounds fun.
Hang out, like friends do.
- Talk to you later. - Yeah. I'll talk to you later.
- Bye. - Bye...
SAMANTHA: Don't bang his leg, Chuckie. Okay. One, two, three!
- It smells. - Excuse me!
- Debbie, Lip kicked us out. - (SOBS)
- FRANK: I'm sorry. - It's okay, Dad.
- Let's power through. Come on. - I'm so sorry.
- One, two, three! - (BOTH GRUNTING)
Ow!
Holy fuck!
(MUFFLED MUSIC COMING FROM CLUB)
- It's so cold. Aren't you cold? - No.
- Where's your car? - I took a cab.
I've gotta keep you warm.
Got any party favors at your place?
Anything you want.
Car will be here in under three minutes.
What should we do till then, hmm?
Ow!
Why don't you molest someone your own age, you Geritol fuck?
(GRUNTING)
Oh, fuck!
(GROANING) You're an animal.
I'm not the one groping and licking on underage boys, am I?
- We're just having fun. - Shut the fuck up.
Give Curtis some money before he calls the cops on you.
Okay. Okay. Here. Here take, here.
Good, good. Thank you. Get the fuck out of here.
Get out of here!
And learn how to run like a dude!
Jesus Christ, Ian. Hey, hey.
- DRIVER: You called for an Uber? - Yeah, I called for an Uber.
Okay. Good job, fellas. Almost there.
- (ALL GRUNTING) - Easy does it, Chuckie.
Let's get him in the chair.
Okay. There we go.
(ALL PANTING)
Home sweet home.
- Okay. Wait, wait! - God.
We gotta get you out of here.
Good boy, Chuckie.
I didn't know you had it in you, boy.
- Is Sheila gonna be mad at me? - She's out of town.
Now, Dad, let's get you washed up.
(LIAM LAUGHING)
Fuck it.
All right, last question, Liam.
Have you ever made friends with an inanimate object?
Like a lamp or chair?
All right. I'm submitting your answers.
- Let's see what your score is. - (COMPUTER LAUGHING)
Good news. You're not retarded.
- Now you. - All right. Now, let's see.
Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Yes.
No. Yes. All right.
(COMPUTER LAUGHING)
This stupid fucking computer.
Ow.
(REVOLVER BARREL SPINS)
My dick is like three times bigger than this gun.
You took the bullets out, right?
Yes, honey. Heard you loud and clear.
Oh, shit. Look at this fetus being reabsorbed.
V, would you stop looking at that shit?
- You're gonna freak yourself out. - Oh, I can't help it.
I couldn't protect my triplet in utero,
you better be damn well sure
I'm gonna protect my twins in the real world.
Damn, baby. You're starting to turn me on.
- What? - Yeah.
No constipation? Or bloating or mucous?
No, I still got them.
But I'm starting to see what all those horny,
pregnant women were talking about. Come here.
(MOANS)
Yes, finally. Thank you. Thank you.
There we go.
(WATER RUNNING)
Okay.
- Feels good. Warm. - Scrub up.
(SAMMI GASPING)
It's okay. I got you.
- I got you. I got you. - Almost fell. Almost fell.
It's okay. Hold on to the side there, okay?
Okay? Just hang on.
Hang on a second. I'll be right there.
Now...
make room for Sammi.
- Grab on. I got you. - No, no, no.
Hey, hey, hey. I'm not gonna bite. Okay? Come on.
Here. Come to me. Come on, Dad. Come over here.
There you go. There you go.
There you go.
That's not so bad, is it? Get you all cleaned up. Okay.
(LAUGHTER)
Ms. Vidal, Mr. Jeffries,
I understand you've come up with a deal.
- Yes, Your Honor, we have. - Except for one point.
We'd like to defer to you on this count.
What have you worked out so far?
Your Honor, in exchange for a guilty plea
of child endangerment and possession,
the state is willing to offer Ms. Gallagher a three-year probation
with mandatory random drug testing,
as well as 200 hours of both parenting classes,
and Narcotics Anonymous meetings.
The state would also recommend that Ms. Gallagher
serve 90 days in the state penitentiary.
And I'm suggesting that since this is my client's first offense
and she already has time served, that she only do 30 days.
Is that everything?
- Yes, Your Honor, it is. - Yes, Your Honor.
Mr. Jeffries, I will be reducing your request
from 200 hours of parenting and NA meetings to 100 hours.
And since I do not believe justice will be served
by additional jail time for Ms. Gallagher,
I'll sign off on her completion of that part of the plea bargain.
- Yes, Your Honor. - No jail.
Ms. Gallagher, I wanna make sure you understand what's happening.
With this plea agreement, you will be a felon.
As such, you will serve three years probation,
during which time you cannot leave the State of Illinois.
You must meet with your probation officer once a week.
You will not be able to get a government job,
hold public office, vote.
If you possess a passport, you must surrender it.
You shall refrain from excessive use of alcohol.
You shall not purchase, possess, use, distribute
or administer any controlled substance.
You shall not engage with any persons
involved in criminal activity.
You will be under house arrest until further notice.
- Do you understand what I'm saying? - Yes, Your Honor.
Then how do you plead to possession and child endangerment?
I'm guilty.
(English SDH)