1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:05,086 Jesus, I'm raising five kids and I didn't miss last week. 2 00:00:05,215 --> 00:00:06,505 What's your excuse? 3 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:07,631 (CLATTERING) 4 00:00:07,759 --> 00:00:09,389 (SIGHS) Carl! 5 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:12,302 I tried to get your drugs, but V has her cabinet locked up. 6 00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:13,682 And she's making me buy them now. 7 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,018 - I may have found a liver. - Really? Where? 8 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,014 Your older sister, Sammi. 9 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,976 A transplant? Oh, Frank. 10 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:23,316 - I want to give you my liver. - Really? 11 00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:26,193 - You okay? - I could be better. You know, it's... 12 00:00:26,361 --> 00:00:28,361 - Different? - Different, yeah. 13 00:00:28,530 --> 00:00:30,240 The Gallaghers moving up the food chain. 14 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,456 - So when do you plan on doing it? - How do I start? 15 00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:36,037 Bam, you drop trou and expos-ay some sex-ay. 16 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,664 Does this make you cray? 17 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,620 Uh... Um. 18 00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:41,871 So I invited my brother out to dinner with us tonight. 19 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:45,003 - They have single malt flights. - Oh, no, no, no. Not tonight. 20 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,041 Get it so I can drink vicariously through you. 21 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:51,135 - Here we go. Almost there, brother. - Right by your right hand. Okay? 22 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,512 Yeah. 23 00:00:55,932 --> 00:00:59,932 I'm not telling him, ever. This did not happen. 24 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:03,983 Oh, yes it did. And it's gonna happen again, addict. 25 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,270 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 26 00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:22,633 You let some dude finger you last night on the L? 27 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:26,015 You make it sound so filthy. And he's not just any dude. 28 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:29,524 - No, he's your boyfriend's brother. - I know. 29 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:32,857 - Your boss's brother. - I know, okay? I can't explain it. 30 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,810 I can. Remember Shawn? Did speedballs in front of Carl? 31 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,110 You stayed with him for what, five months? 32 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:41,368 And then it was Jason, right? Jason with the anger issues. 33 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:44,411 I mean, if you consider stabbing a guy for jumping the line 34 00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:46,324 - at the Cracker Barrel an issue. - Yeah, I get it. 35 00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:50,666 And then there was Jimmy Steve. The lying, married car thief. 36 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,913 Fi, this job is a good thing for you. 37 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:56,255 It was a mistake, okay? It's over. 38 00:04:56,422 --> 00:05:00,172 It better be. I can't be over here Dr. Phil-ing your ass. 39 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,593 - I got to go to the Alibi. - This early? 40 00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:05,512 Yeah, it saves Kev from having to pay Kate overtime. 41 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,431 Is he still freaking out about the babies? 42 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,180 And the bar. Payroll taxes are due next week. 43 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,773 Business license has to be renewed, utilities. 44 00:05:12,939 --> 00:05:15,699 - Has anyone seen my lip gloss? - Well, hi, Debs. 45 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,778 - Carl! - What? 46 00:05:17,944 --> 00:05:20,194 You're supposed to make Liam breakfast. 47 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,323 - It's not my job. - It is your job. 48 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:26,700 Relax, relax. Here, more nutritious than makeup. 49 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:30,499 Made a big sale yesterday. Ten thousand units. 50 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:33,295 "Congrats, Fiona! Great job! We're so proud of you!" 51 00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,797 What? 52 00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:37,797 He's still not talking to you. Lunch. 53 00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:42,134 You know, I used to be your sister, not just an ATM. 54 00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:46,591 - I like that top. You look cute. - Not trying to look cute. 55 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,975 - I could walk you to school today. - I'm not in the first grade. 56 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:52,853 We just haven't talked that much lately. 57 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,020 And maybe that's my fault. I haven't been around as much. 58 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:58,561 - Yeah, don't you have to get to work? - I can be late. Hey. 59 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:01,868 Whatever you're going through, guess what? I did too. 60 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,869 Got plenty of time to grow up. It's okay to just be a kid. 61 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,532 - (DOOR CLOSES) - (SIGHS) 62 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,256 Careful you don't pass out with all the blood rushing 63 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,259 from your big head to your little head. 64 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,212 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - Ow... 65 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,929 I was beginning to wonder when I'd get your motor revving. 66 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,764 (CHUCKLING) 67 00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:29,596 Okay, I'm gonna go see if they're ready yet. 68 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,186 (EXHALES) 69 00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:36,609 Um... 70 00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:42,571 How soon do I go under the knife? The transplant. How soon? 71 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:45,618 Uh, assuming your donor passes the cross match 72 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,031 and oral glucosamine tests without issue, then... 73 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,660 She'll pass. She's my daughter. 74 00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:52,707 Then we'll have everything we need from a medical standpoint. 75 00:06:52,872 --> 00:06:54,582 What does that mean? 76 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,759 You don't have health insurance. 77 00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:58,548 That's what the ER is for. 78 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,501 They don't do transplants in the ER. 79 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,421 We're gonna have to put you on a wait list 80 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:06,010 with one of the few doctors who perform transplants pro bono. 81 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:08,137 Unfortunately, that list is pretty long. 82 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,930 - Weeks? - More like years. 83 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,688 - Years? - A couple, unless it's dire. 84 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:17,431 Dire? Well, um, I'm dying. 85 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,395 So are the thousands of others on the pro bono list. 86 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,650 How much? 87 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,360 If I pay for the operation myself, how much? 88 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,861 Transplant surgery is a very complicated procedure 89 00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:32,164 involving more than a dozen specialties 90 00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:34,168 and many different departments of the hospital. 91 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,740 Okay, it's a shakedown. 92 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,255 Our glorious health care system at work. 93 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,917 How much? 94 00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:43,216 All in, 150 grand, give or take 10,000. 95 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:46,421 Ready. The tests will be done by four. 96 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,842 Come get me, and we'll celebrate. 97 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:56,479 My daughter and I are very close. 98 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:58,062 (DOOR CLOSES) 99 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,899 - Three bucks a shot. - Since when? 100 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:04,566 It ain't our fault you got a herd of kids on the way. 101 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,365 And it's not our fault that Stan 102 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,195 never took care of the asbestos upstairs. 103 00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,864 But guess who has to pay for it? 104 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,242 Asbestos isn't so bad. 105 00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:14,209 I got lots of it in the ceiling at my house, and look at me. 106 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,990 VERONICA: Tell that to the city. 107 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,293 If we don't get it removed, they're gonna shut us down. 108 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,798 - Removal company wants six grand. - Might as well be six million. 109 00:08:22,962 --> 00:08:27,422 Fucking candy striper giving a look like I'm a fucking degenerate. 110 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,631 Egyptian royals, Incas, King Arthur, they all kept it in the family. 111 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:34,013 We probably still would if Oedipus hadn't ruined it for all of us. 112 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,101 So fine, cast the first stone. But let me ask you. 113 00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:40,478 If we all came from just Adam and Eve in the beginning, 114 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,313 well, you do the math. 115 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,691 Frank, can you please keep the nonsense rambling down to a minimum? 116 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,199 Some of us have problems that we're trying to figure out. 117 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,651 When you need 150 grand just to live, 118 00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,112 we'll talk about problems. 119 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,955 You could burn your house down for the insurance money. 120 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,379 That's what my Uncle Doris did. 121 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,587 Yeah, and he almost burned down the entire neighborhood. 122 00:08:58,748 --> 00:09:00,208 Too much accelerant. 123 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,754 But they never got the charges to stick. 124 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,878 Jewish lightning. 125 00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:09,176 The most inspired of our Hebrew brethren's contribution to society. 126 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,631 You don't even own the damn house. 127 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:11,921 What about Sheila's house? 128 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:15,134 You could split the dough with her. She got insurance? 129 00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:16,936 Yeah. 130 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:20,479 Yeah, I saw the policy when I was looking for Eddie's will. 131 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,684 Frank, if you're gonna smoke that, at least give me a hit. 132 00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,485 She's never gonna go for it. 133 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:28,198 Well, wait, wait. Who says we have to tell her? 134 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,440 Frank, you are not gonna burn down that nice woman's house. 135 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,367 No, not burn down. 136 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,956 She's got liability. 137 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:42,701 One big accident, and her insurance has to pay up. 138 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:47,966 - Cartesian dualism. - Descartes. 139 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,176 - Categorical... - Imperative. Kant. 140 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,762 - We're gonna ace this test, bro. - All right. 141 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,098 We got to jet. You ready to go? 142 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,012 I got to grab my pants out of the dryer. 143 00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,141 - Right now? - Yeah. I'll be right behind you. 144 00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:00,395 All right. 145 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,442 - Hi. - Hi. 146 00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:18,492 What the fuck? 147 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:24,087 Yo! You at least leave me some quarters? 148 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,580 Fuck. 149 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,381 Ron? 150 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,397 Hey, Sheila? 151 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,906 Sheila? 152 00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:57,364 (STRAINING) 153 00:11:38,157 --> 00:11:40,207 (GRUNTING) 154 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:47,750 Cock suck, fuck, motherfuck, fuck, fuck! 155 00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:12,569 - You're disrupting the midterm. - Oh, sorry, I'm a few minutes late. 156 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,313 Six minutes. 157 00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:17,325 Yeah, I know. I just got locked out of my dorm room. 158 00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:19,498 Right, because this chick, she pulled my laundry 159 00:12:19,657 --> 00:12:24,287 out of the dryer early, and my jeans are still wet. 160 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:29,791 I'm not asking for the time I missed, just the time I have left. 161 00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:32,129 - It doesn't work that way. - Why not? 162 00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,674 I'm not gonna argue about this. 163 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,257 Look, I studied my ass off for this test, okay? 164 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,384 Just let me in, and I will prove it to you. 165 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,971 I'm sorry. 166 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,346 Don't be a fucking prick. Just let me take the damn test. 167 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,867 (WOMAN WHIMPERING) 168 00:12:57,987 --> 00:12:59,737 What the fuck is this? 169 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,032 How many blowjobs did you give yesterday? 170 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,288 Ten blowjobs. 171 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,709 - How many tugs? - Five. 172 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,207 That's on top of two guys who shelled out for a belly ride. 173 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,240 You send her home with a measly 200 bucks? 174 00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:10,044 Sasha sets the price. 175 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,507 Well, Sasha needs to find out my wife's a hooker, not a slave. 176 00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,423 (WOMAN CHUCKLES) 177 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:19,427 Okay? Okay. Now this is happening. 178 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:23,011 Out! Get out! Let's go! 179 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,268 Yes. Put it on and let's go. 180 00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:26,260 Hey, come on, you deserve better than this. 181 00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:28,182 I don't care if you're mid-pump. Come with me. 182 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,560 You want to get paid a little more 183 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,062 for putting a stranger's dick in your mouth? 184 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:34,566 - Come on, ladies. Move, move. - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 185 00:13:34,732 --> 00:13:37,772 You can clean it off later. I don't care if it's sticky. Go! 186 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:40,733 Come on. Come on, get out. Let's fucking go. 187 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:45,034 Yes, yes, yes, put that on. Fuck me. Hi, guys. Let's go! 188 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,160 Look at all your happy customers, huh? 189 00:13:47,328 --> 00:13:49,378 No one's getting laid till they get paid. 190 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,998 I tell Sasha. 191 00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:53,085 Yeah, tell him to go fuck himself. 192 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,962 Are you kidding me? This is barely a sprain. 193 00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,920 Oh, like you've got a medical degree. 194 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,210 Hey, I handled enough personal liability claims 195 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,554 to know what a six-figure payout looks like. 196 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,300 This is two grand tops. 197 00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:08,142 I need 150. 198 00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:11,567 Well, then you better bring me a mangled femur, or lose an eye. 199 00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:12,857 Better yet, lose both eyes. 200 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,520 You know, you walk in, empty sockets, we got us a winner. 201 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,850 - Jesus, Frank. - What? 202 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,577 Jesus. I'm sorry. 203 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:26,747 - It does this sometimes. - Would you just go on? Get out. 204 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,249 The hospital needs at least 50,000 down 205 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,661 before they'll even schedule the operation. 206 00:14:31,789 --> 00:14:32,879 They take down payments? 207 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:35,668 What are they gonna do if you don't pay up the rest, repo the liver? 208 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:39,254 Lou, I'm dead without this. 209 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:43,301 Fifty grand? Okay, we're talking, like, partial paralysis. 210 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,767 Burns over at least 30 percent of your body. 211 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,138 Hey, if you don't have the stones to hobble yourself, 212 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:49,645 find someone who'll do it for you. 213 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,722 (SHOOTING, SHOUTING FROM VIDEO GAME) 214 00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:57,563 You're just the man I'm looking for. 215 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,771 - What happened to you? - I need your help. 216 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,573 Took a hammer to V's stash, stole some pills. They're upstairs. 217 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,657 No, no, no, not that... They're upstairs? 218 00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,114 I'll get them later. 219 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,701 I want you to break my leg. 220 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,758 (CHUCKLES) 221 00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,505 I need the insurance money. 222 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:22,130 It's the only way I'll be able to pay for the transplant. 223 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,217 You want me to hurt you? 224 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,511 It's life or death. 225 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,932 If you love me, son, you'll do this. 226 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,018 Can I put it on YouTube? 227 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,316 Sh... 228 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,021 No. 229 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,650 Just one push. 230 00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:44,488 What if I land on my head? 231 00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,538 Just stick your leg over the track and let it get run over. 232 00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:54,531 - What about the third rail? - What's a third rail? 233 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,136 Fucking Obamacare. 234 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:05,678 What kind of a system do we live in? 235 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,211 You have to cripple yourself to stay alive. 236 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:11,805 - I could get the sledgehammer. - No, that's all right. 237 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,142 Mrs. Jesudian has a table saw. 238 00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,938 Forget it. Where are those perk-me-ups? 239 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,472 You said life or death. 240 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,565 Kev has an old lawn mower. It could run over your foot. 241 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:24,692 You're a good man, son. The pills? 242 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,060 Under the bed. 243 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,150 (FRANK SIGHS) 244 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:34,074 So, yeah, Matty and I spent the whole night like that, spooning. 245 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,534 You see Billy Fergus? Ellie said he's here. 246 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,455 It was really sweet. He made me breakfast. 247 00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:42,085 Wake me up when you get to the good part. 248 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,372 You clean out your cabbage patch with Purell afterwards? 249 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,216 What? 250 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,671 It keeps you from getting knocked up. 251 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,051 Gets the little swimmers so drunk, they can't find the egg. 252 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:54,227 Um... No. Well, sex, we didn't have it. 253 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:57,939 - Matt said that we should... - I got your frappucino, Holly. 254 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,471 It better be caramel. 255 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,778 Okay, go. 256 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,407 - Who's that? - Sam? Seth? 257 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,618 Who cares? I tell him what to do, he does it. 258 00:17:08,779 --> 00:17:09,789 Why? 259 00:17:09,947 --> 00:17:12,327 He thinks I'll maybe give him a quickie in the bathroom. 260 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:15,451 He's lucky I let him be seen near me. 261 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:17,749 There's Billy. How do I look? 262 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,333 - Slutty. - Thanks. 263 00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:25,509 Wait, Holly. Is it bad that Matty said it wasn't the right time? 264 00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:27,751 He said that? "It's not the right time"? 265 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,213 What does it mean? 266 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,463 I don't know. I've never had a guy say that. 267 00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,317 Yeah, I know I promised it to you. 268 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,147 Look, I'm gonna get you your money. 269 00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:44,522 (PHONE RECEIVER CLATTERS) 270 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,818 Liquor distributor? 271 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:49,773 No, it's Stan's son asking for his monthly $500 that I don't have 272 00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,485 for a bar that's in the black. 273 00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,285 Or the red, or whatever one it is where you're totally fucked! 274 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,159 Are you gonna pay for something else? 275 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,126 - Trying to get me drunk? - You're already drunk. 276 00:17:58,287 --> 00:17:59,747 I got bills. Pay for something. 277 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,583 Hey, line up a shot for the Abe Lincoln of mouth whores. 278 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:03,799 Excuse me? 279 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,339 I emancipated my wife and her fellow cum guzzlers. 280 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,883 Gonna do to the Russians what they've been doing to my girls. 281 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,007 - Bring them to their knees. - MAN: Why? 282 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,054 Your wife wouldn't even be in this country 283 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:15,478 if the Russians hadn't smuggled her in originally. 284 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,597 That gives them the right to pay her next to nothing, huh? 285 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,264 We're thirsty. 286 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,513 Good thing there's a sink in the fucking bathroom, huh? 287 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,223 (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) 288 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,312 - Well, how do they get away with it? - Get away with what? 289 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,153 Forcing them to work for so cheap. 290 00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,529 Guns and beatings, mostly. 291 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,696 I mean, look, what choice do they have? They got no ID. 292 00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:37,325 They barely speak the language. They're fresh off the boat. 293 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,452 Sasha can pay them whatever the fuck he wants. 294 00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:43,451 Not anymore. Now they got me. 295 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,424 - I'll be right back. - Where are you going? 296 00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:52,508 I'm gonna... pick something up from the Home Depot. 297 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,924 - Now? - (PHONE RINGING) 298 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:57,729 (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 299 00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,051 Sasha wants meeting. 300 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,092 What did I tell you, huh? 301 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,356 Russians waving the white flag already. 302 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,438 You do know what happened to Lincoln in the end, right? 303 00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:07,644 You kidding? I could barely get through the opening credits. 304 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,037 (PHONE RINGING) 305 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,200 Okay. 306 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,700 - You knew you had a test? - Yes, but I got locked out of my... 307 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,042 A midterm? 308 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,167 Yeah, yeah. I was only a few minutes late. 309 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,584 And you knew what time the midterm was scheduled to begin? 310 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,214 Yeah. 311 00:19:32,381 --> 00:19:34,711 Yet you weren't there on time. 312 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,713 I think that's been established. 313 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:39,722 And everyone else was? 314 00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,186 I don't know. I didn't count heads. 315 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:49,274 Look, um, I just want a chance to take the test. 316 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,779 You can take ten points off, whatever you have to do. 317 00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:55,072 It really wasn't my fault that I was late. 318 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:58,407 Okay. I mean, stuff just happens sometimes, right? 319 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:01,782 Okay, listen, you know, 320 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:04,992 what if a student needed CPR or was choking, 321 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,203 and I stopped to save his life? I mean, what then? 322 00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:11,582 Well, instead of some hypothetical dying student, 323 00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:14,503 I'd suggest we consider a live one. 324 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,673 - Jay Santos. - Who? 325 00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:19,803 Runner up for the Glind Scholarship you received 326 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:22,510 that allowed you to attend this university. 327 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:25,471 I don't know where Jay Santos is, but if he were here, 328 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,472 I'm sure of one thing. 329 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,394 He would've been on time for his midterm. 330 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,060 Think of this as a learning experience, Philip. 331 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:37,233 Things do happen, so we have to anticipate that they might. 332 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,574 I'm sure next test, you'll leave plenty of extra time 333 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:41,490 and arrive early. 334 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,698 (ALARM BLARING) 335 00:21:16,902 --> 00:21:18,192 (SHOUTS) 336 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,416 Hey! 337 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:35,926 Hey! 338 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,133 (PEOPLE SHOUTING) 339 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:55,988 Come on! 340 00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:17,589 (PANTING) 341 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,050 (SHOUTING FROM OUTSIDE) 342 00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,351 (COCKS GUN) 343 00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:35,438 (TRUCK REVERSE BEEPING) 344 00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,197 (WOMAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 345 00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:46,783 - Sasha. - Huh? 346 00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:49,959 - Oh. - Wait, you're Sasha? 347 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:53,080 You are smaller than I thought you would be. Hmm. 348 00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:55,168 Ditto. 349 00:22:56,877 --> 00:23:00,427 Okay, look, it's 20 percent raise on bumping uglies, 30 percent on BJs, 350 00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:02,389 and whatever happens in the ass stays in the ass. 351 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,059 I don't know what that means. 352 00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,097 That means the ladies pocket tips for extras, not you. 353 00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:09,804 Hmm. You a tough negotiator? 354 00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:11,223 You need girls. 355 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:12,891 True. 356 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,229 Hey... (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 357 00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,904 They grew up near Chernobyl, so got a discount. 358 00:23:26,239 --> 00:23:27,249 Come on. 359 00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:29,573 I'm flexible on those numbers. 360 00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,993 Your girls are tired and stretched out. 361 00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,492 Go fuck yourself. 362 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,750 Hi. 363 00:23:42,631 --> 00:23:44,671 - Big birthday coming up. - (GASPS) 364 00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:45,881 You remembered. 365 00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:48,849 Well, you put it in my calendar. Huge letters, double underline. 366 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,012 What do you want to do to celebrate? 367 00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,841 I was thinking of low keying it this year. 368 00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:54,646 Really? For the big 3-0? 369 00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:56,149 (LAUGHING) Asshole. 370 00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:57,311 4-0? 371 00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:00,779 Said the boyfriend who apparently never wants to get laid again. 372 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,770 - What's he doing here? - What else? 373 00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:06,824 He's putting his greatest talent to work. 374 00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:10,078 - Which is? - Weaseling money out of my dad. 375 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:12,991 - So birthday. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 376 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,661 Uh, sorry, what? 377 00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:21,543 MIKE: I mean, I could jump out of a cake in nothing but a thong. 378 00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:26,254 Sorry, it's one of the kids. 379 00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:30,424 - Everything okay? - Yeah, I just... 380 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,555 I'll let you deal with whatever's going down at Chez Gallagher. 381 00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:36,223 Let me know what you wanna do, and we'll make it happen. 382 00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:38,643 All right. 383 00:24:42,983 --> 00:24:44,233 Hey. 384 00:24:50,991 --> 00:24:53,661 Right in here. Here we go, guys. 385 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:58,876 - Who are they? - Told you, had to run an errand. 386 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,790 This is what you picked up at Home Depot? 387 00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:04,259 Mickey's not as dumb as he looks. Illegals are desperate for work. 388 00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:07,711 And a few bucks is a fortune for these guys. It's a win-win. 389 00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:10,842 - What's your name again? Nombre? - Mi nombre? Paco. 390 00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:13,881 Paco, get behind the bar. Grab a mop, okay? 391 00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:16,685 You two, come with me. 392 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:20,720 You guys know what asbestos is? Good. Come on. 393 00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:23,485 - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - Tell them to shut the fuck up! 394 00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:24,948 You take jobs away! 395 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:26,906 Yeah, I know. And I will think of something! 396 00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:29,278 They say you are stupid, fucking idiot! 397 00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:32,156 - Well, what did you say back? - That you also have small dick! 398 00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:37,121 Jesus Christ, what happened to a man's home being his fucking castle? 399 00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:40,957 Three things. This is my home. You do have a small dick. 400 00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,254 And you started this all because you thought your wife 401 00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:45,468 is worth more than a couple of bucks a lay. 402 00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,678 Let me tell you from experience. She's not. 403 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,637 (YELLING IN RUSSIAN) 404 00:25:49,758 --> 00:25:53,348 I don't know what the fuck you're saying! Oh, my God! 405 00:25:53,511 --> 00:25:55,011 I don't know what that means! 406 00:25:55,180 --> 00:25:58,550 Look, don't worry! We'll get a dick in you as soon as we can! 407 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,065 Fuck. 408 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,068 Hi. 409 00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:06,270 Uh, is Mandy home? 410 00:26:07,609 --> 00:26:10,619 - Dad? Dad? - FRANK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 411 00:26:10,779 --> 00:26:13,449 You seen my happy pills? I can't find them anywhere. 412 00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:15,535 Look what I got. 413 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,240 Bullitt? 414 00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:19,990 Stole it from the store while the checkout guy was huffing out back. 415 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:21,623 You said it was your favorite. 416 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:27,250 Two keys to cinematic gold. Steve McQueen and fast cars. 417 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,670 You know, people said I resembled him as a young man. 418 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,050 Get comfortable. I heated you up some soup. 419 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:37,939 You really know how to take care of your old man. 420 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:39,848 Thank you, son. 421 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:51,117 - FRANK: Carl, what are you doing? - Almost ready. Just killing a roach. 422 00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:54,327 Big fucking roach. 423 00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:04,124 - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) - He's so nice and I really like him. 424 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,250 I think it's time we take it to the next level. 425 00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,627 - How old are you now? - Thirteen. 426 00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:10,045 What took you so long? 427 00:27:10,213 --> 00:27:12,673 This is why I came to you. You get it. 428 00:27:12,841 --> 00:27:14,671 Fiona wants me to stay a little girl forever. 429 00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:16,383 So, what's stopping you? 430 00:27:16,553 --> 00:27:19,183 He said he wasn't ready. What does that mean? 431 00:27:19,347 --> 00:27:20,397 He's older? 432 00:27:20,598 --> 00:27:22,808 - Mm-hm, he's 20. - Wow. 433 00:27:22,976 --> 00:27:25,646 - Thanks. - He doesn't wanna get in trouble. 434 00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:27,352 He needs to know that you're totally cool with it 435 00:27:27,522 --> 00:27:29,062 and won't go running to the cops afterwards. 436 00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:31,602 - The cops? - Statutory rape. 437 00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:33,616 Some old school shit left over 438 00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:36,238 from when women wore corsets and didn't carry mace. 439 00:27:37,073 --> 00:27:40,073 - Hmm? - Sure you're ready? 440 00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:43,283 - So let him know. - But how? 441 00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:47,374 - Hey, babe, I'm out. - Watch. 442 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:52,714 Oh, again? I'm gonna be late for work. 443 00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:54,961 Oh, come on, girl. 444 00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:58,302 It's okay. I don't think I'd be able to do that. 445 00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:02,439 - So just send him a selfie. - A selfie? 446 00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:06,269 You know, a picture? 447 00:28:08,771 --> 00:28:10,311 Okay. (CHUCKLES) 448 00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:16,797 (SCREAMING) 449 00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:25,054 - What do you think you're doing? - Making ramen. Want some? 450 00:29:25,223 --> 00:29:28,433 - I told you to stop texting me. - Did you? 451 00:29:28,643 --> 00:29:32,563 Uh-huh. What part of stop do you not understand? 452 00:29:33,398 --> 00:29:35,108 What are you doing here? 453 00:29:35,275 --> 00:29:38,615 Trying to get it through your thick skull that this is over. 454 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:41,827 - Is it? - Yes. 455 00:29:42,991 --> 00:29:46,911 Well, I mean, you could've... (CLEARS THROAT) 456 00:29:47,161 --> 00:29:50,871 You could've called, or texted. 457 00:29:53,251 --> 00:29:55,791 Or used Facebook. 458 00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:05,479 - I'm not on Facebook. - No? 459 00:30:46,846 --> 00:30:48,386 (KNOCKING) 460 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,854 MIKE: Yo, Robbie, it's me. 461 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:54,520 - Did you know he was coming over? - No. 462 00:30:54,687 --> 00:30:56,687 MIKE: I hear you moving around in there. Come on, open up. 463 00:30:56,856 --> 00:31:00,946 Oh, my God. What are you doing? 464 00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:04,690 - Mike's at the door. - Oh, well, don't answer it. 465 00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:08,536 - MIKE: Robbie. - Coming! 466 00:31:11,579 --> 00:31:13,629 (DOOR OPENING) 467 00:31:18,086 --> 00:31:19,296 - Hey. - Hey. 468 00:31:19,462 --> 00:31:20,712 Were you in the neighborhood? 469 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,590 Yeah, sorry. I probably should have called. 470 00:31:22,757 --> 00:31:25,177 That's all right. 471 00:31:25,343 --> 00:31:26,963 What's up? 472 00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:29,592 Wanted to know what you went and saw Dad about today. 473 00:31:29,764 --> 00:31:31,684 None of your damn business. 474 00:31:31,849 --> 00:31:33,979 How much you ask him for, Robbie? 475 00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:37,183 Can I get you a drink? Let me get you a drink. 476 00:31:37,355 --> 00:31:39,645 You know the money he gives you comes right out of the company 477 00:31:39,816 --> 00:31:42,156 that I bust my ass to make profitable? 478 00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:43,528 That makes it my business. 479 00:31:43,694 --> 00:31:45,234 I got a Red Bull and a half a Sprite, 480 00:31:45,405 --> 00:31:46,865 but I can't vouch for how long it's been in there. 481 00:31:47,031 --> 00:31:49,701 Dad takes the money he gives you out of his retirement account. 482 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:53,167 - Got water, but not the fancy kind. - Whatever's fine, I don't care. 483 00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:55,459 Well, you sure you just don't want to look in the fridge? 484 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:58,793 - All right, that's fine. - Oh, wait. Got a bottle. 485 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,580 Bubbles. I know what you like, right? 486 00:32:01,671 --> 00:32:04,131 Listen, I know you think that they're rich, 487 00:32:04,298 --> 00:32:07,178 but they don't have nearly as much as you think they do. 488 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,060 Hey. 489 00:32:19,522 --> 00:32:22,812 - You look good. - Yeah, my boyfriend thinks so. 490 00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:25,864 - Boyfriend, huh? - What are you doing here? 491 00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:28,693 Just saying hi. 492 00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:33,950 You know I smashed up a bunch of car windows at school today? 493 00:32:35,413 --> 00:32:39,203 - Hammer? - No, it was a pipe bender, actually. 494 00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:44,965 Got chased by the cops. Well, campus security, but still... 495 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,711 - Did they catch you? - What do you think? 496 00:32:49,051 --> 00:32:52,721 Anyway, it made me think of you. 497 00:32:52,889 --> 00:32:55,769 Random destruction makes you think of me? 498 00:32:55,933 --> 00:33:00,523 Yeah, it was, uh... It was beautiful. 499 00:33:03,858 --> 00:33:05,198 What do you want? 500 00:33:06,903 --> 00:33:08,733 I don't know. I, um... 501 00:33:10,114 --> 00:33:12,324 I almost called you a couple of times. 502 00:33:12,492 --> 00:33:15,872 I figured you were doing your own thing. 503 00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:19,120 I just missed you. 504 00:33:22,877 --> 00:33:24,627 Is your boyfriend here? 505 00:33:29,926 --> 00:33:32,176 Hey, who are all those chicks in your living room? 506 00:33:32,345 --> 00:33:34,225 - Hookers. - Hookers? 507 00:33:34,388 --> 00:33:37,648 - Mickey's wife. Long story. - Okay. 508 00:33:46,734 --> 00:33:48,694 (BOTH GRUNTING) 509 00:33:51,739 --> 00:33:54,409 Man, I almost forgot how good this feels. 510 00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,959 Oh, God. 511 00:34:00,623 --> 00:34:01,993 (GRUNTS) 512 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:08,382 (PANTING) 513 00:34:11,384 --> 00:34:13,014 Shit. (CHUCKLES) 514 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:17,059 Sorry. I didn't mean for that to be a sprint. 515 00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:20,183 Not getting any from the white bread sorority sluts? 516 00:34:20,351 --> 00:34:22,311 It's not the same. 517 00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,906 You got any cash on you? 518 00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:30,237 Yeah, yeah. There might be something down there. 519 00:34:30,403 --> 00:34:31,733 I don't know, I'm not exactly raking it 520 00:34:31,904 --> 00:34:33,824 in bussing dishes at the student union. 521 00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:36,030 Yeah, I need the morning-after pill. 522 00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:39,125 Or not. 523 00:34:39,245 --> 00:34:41,085 I think I'm ovulating. My tits are sore. 524 00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:44,081 I could have just used one of those condoms. 525 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,830 The Kenyatta's Trojan Magnums would have slipped right off 526 00:34:47,003 --> 00:34:48,213 of your skinny, little, white Johnson. 527 00:34:48,379 --> 00:34:49,969 Ouch. Harsh. 528 00:34:51,048 --> 00:34:54,518 - Six bucks? - Yeah. 529 00:34:54,677 --> 00:34:58,437 So skip the pill. 530 00:34:58,598 --> 00:35:01,398 Fuck you. You know how much an abortion costs now? 531 00:35:01,559 --> 00:35:03,479 No, roll the dice. 532 00:35:03,644 --> 00:35:05,564 You know, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, 533 00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:09,407 having a little ghetto rug rat running around. 534 00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:15,400 - That's not funny. - I'm serious. 535 00:35:17,408 --> 00:35:20,168 Yeah, that's just what I need. Raising your bastard kid in the hood 536 00:35:20,328 --> 00:35:23,378 while you bang co-eds in the back of a robotics lab. 537 00:35:24,498 --> 00:35:27,418 Not gonna be any co-eds or any robotics lab. 538 00:35:27,585 --> 00:35:29,125 Why? 539 00:35:29,295 --> 00:35:33,755 Well, the place is bullshit. 540 00:35:34,884 --> 00:35:37,054 It's just like I said it would be. 541 00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:38,729 - I'm bailing. - You're quitting? 542 00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:41,648 You know how hard I worked to get you in there? 543 00:35:41,807 --> 00:35:42,807 Then you go. 544 00:35:42,975 --> 00:35:46,685 I don't think they'd accept my 1 .2 GPA. 545 00:35:46,854 --> 00:35:50,234 - You can't just bail. - Drop it, okay? 546 00:35:50,399 --> 00:35:52,319 You came to me, asshole. 547 00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:55,905 Look, I'm sorry, all right? I felt like shit. 548 00:35:56,072 --> 00:35:58,902 I thought this would be fun, not an interrogation. 549 00:36:00,284 --> 00:36:02,324 So what, whenever you feel like shit or wanna quit, 550 00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:05,375 you figure you're gonna hop on the L and come and knock me up? 551 00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:09,299 That was my mistake. It won't happen again. 552 00:36:11,462 --> 00:36:13,542 - Shithead. - Skank. 553 00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:51,877 - You know, I hate being the bad guy. - But you're so good at it. 554 00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:54,672 All right, think about what I said, yeah? 555 00:36:54,839 --> 00:36:56,799 - Mm-hm. - All right. Thanks. 556 00:36:59,385 --> 00:37:02,515 - You serious? Come on. - All right. Bye. 557 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,680 - Later. - Later. 558 00:37:07,435 --> 00:37:11,275 - You're a motherfucker. - Wanna pick up where we left off? 559 00:37:11,439 --> 00:37:14,949 - What is wrong with you? - I didn't ask him to come over. 560 00:37:15,109 --> 00:37:16,779 Plus, you got off on it as much as I did. 561 00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:20,034 - Excuse me? - Game recognizes game. 562 00:37:20,197 --> 00:37:21,827 We're nothing alike. 563 00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:24,661 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Hold on. 564 00:37:26,829 --> 00:37:29,299 Oh, you mind if I take this? It's my girlfriend. 565 00:37:31,792 --> 00:37:35,582 Don't ever come near me again. 566 00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:50,144 (CAR ALARM CHIRPS) 567 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:57,191 (SIGHS) 568 00:38:03,407 --> 00:38:05,117 (SCREAMING) 569 00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:09,334 - What the fuck did you do to me? - I saved your life. 570 00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:15,890 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 571 00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:23,948 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 572 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:33,999 (WHIMPERING) Oh, Jesus! 573 00:39:34,164 --> 00:39:38,374 - Ready? - Wait, wait. Okay. 574 00:39:38,502 --> 00:39:41,002 (SCREAMING) 575 00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:44,713 Oh, God. Fuck. God. 576 00:39:47,011 --> 00:39:49,801 - Help! Help! Someone, please, help! - Oh, God. 577 00:39:49,972 --> 00:39:53,432 - My dad's fallen. He can't get up! - Oh, my God. 578 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,319 (COUGHING) 579 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,890 No, it's okay, it's okay. Just get it out. Get it out. 580 00:40:00,983 --> 00:40:02,233 - Hey! - Hey, man. 581 00:40:02,401 --> 00:40:04,231 - Look who it is! Lip! - How you doing? 582 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:06,903 How you doing, man? Straight from the ivory tower. 583 00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:08,322 - Nice shiner. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 584 00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:10,110 What, a professor clock you for being a smart ass? 585 00:40:10,284 --> 00:40:12,414 Oh, no. I got in a fight. I could use a beer. 586 00:40:12,578 --> 00:40:15,168 Yeah, yeah, and an ice pack. Take a seat. 587 00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:19,968 (KNOCKING) 588 00:40:20,127 --> 00:40:22,337 MATTY: Oh, the door's open. 589 00:40:26,383 --> 00:40:29,173 - I'll be out in a sec. - Okay. 590 00:40:36,268 --> 00:40:39,228 Hey, you. How you doing? 591 00:40:39,396 --> 00:40:43,696 Oh, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. Debbie, stop. Stop. 592 00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:49,110 - Am I not doing it right? - No, what? What has gotten into you? 593 00:40:50,908 --> 00:40:53,708 Why did you ask me over? I thought you liked the picture. 594 00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:55,419 I mean, I deleted it. 595 00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:00,500 Well, why? 596 00:41:01,543 --> 00:41:05,923 Debbie, you're awesome. I have a great time with you, but... 597 00:41:06,090 --> 00:41:08,590 No, no, it's okay. I'm not gonna run to the cops. 598 00:41:08,759 --> 00:41:13,389 Yeah, this isn't about the cops. Maybe a little, but it's you. 599 00:41:14,556 --> 00:41:18,066 No. That came out wrong. 600 00:41:24,650 --> 00:41:28,690 - Don't you want to? - Sure, yeah. Yeah, someday. 601 00:41:28,862 --> 00:41:33,362 - Well, why not now? - Because you're 13. 602 00:41:35,119 --> 00:41:37,789 - So? - You're just too young. 603 00:41:38,831 --> 00:41:41,701 I'm not a little girl. I'm ready. 604 00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:46,585 - I know you think you are, but... - (SCOFFS) 605 00:41:50,134 --> 00:41:55,264 Debbie, Deb, no. Please stay. Deb. 606 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,310 LIP: It's 50 grand a year 607 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:05,358 for four years of frat parties, you know, intellectual circle jerks, 608 00:42:05,524 --> 00:42:07,814 speed reading 300-year-old novels 609 00:42:07,985 --> 00:42:10,115 that'll be forgotten the second the test is over, 610 00:42:10,279 --> 00:42:11,949 all because, you know, we're told 611 00:42:12,114 --> 00:42:15,034 we can't succeed in the world without a piece of paper. 612 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,870 You know, and it's bullshit. Bill Gates dropped out. Steve Jobs. 613 00:42:19,038 --> 00:42:20,708 That's that center for the Blackhawks? 614 00:42:21,790 --> 00:42:25,290 Yeah, you know, it just all one big collegiate scam. 615 00:42:25,461 --> 00:42:27,541 I'm glad that place didn't turn you into an elitist prick. 616 00:42:27,713 --> 00:42:31,213 No, still a Southside prick like all the rest of you. 617 00:42:31,383 --> 00:42:34,513 Jesus Christ, Russian whores know how to run their mouths 618 00:42:34,636 --> 00:42:37,976 when there ain't some dude's junk jammed in there. 619 00:42:38,515 --> 00:42:40,685 Weren't you supposed to be at college or some shit? 620 00:42:40,851 --> 00:42:42,681 Nope, packing up my Kant and Milton Friedman. 621 00:42:42,853 --> 00:42:45,023 I'm done with all that crap. 622 00:42:47,733 --> 00:42:49,313 Why'd you go over there in the first place? 623 00:42:49,485 --> 00:42:50,985 To tell him to knock it off. 624 00:42:51,153 --> 00:42:53,363 - Could have called. - You're taking his side? 625 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:56,070 Please, you wanted a hit, you little smack head. 626 00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:58,911 - I did not. - Really? 627 00:42:59,078 --> 00:43:00,208 Did you get that little tingle 628 00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:02,910 when you stepped up to his front door? 629 00:43:03,082 --> 00:43:04,702 Maybe. 630 00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:08,045 What do you want me to say, that I'm self-destructive? 631 00:43:08,212 --> 00:43:11,792 That liars and thieves and addicts turn me on? 632 00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:14,465 That I don't know how to do a normal relationship? 633 00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:16,425 Was that so hard? 634 00:43:18,138 --> 00:43:19,438 The worst part 635 00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:22,228 is I keep checking my phone to see if he's texted. 636 00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:26,390 I mean, what the fuck is wrong with me? 637 00:43:28,899 --> 00:43:31,869 Who the hell broke into my pills? 638 00:43:34,947 --> 00:43:37,197 You were joking, right, about not going back to college? 639 00:43:39,993 --> 00:43:42,533 Serious. I'm done. 640 00:43:42,704 --> 00:43:45,294 I was hoping you were blowing off some steam. 641 00:43:45,457 --> 00:43:48,717 Well, the truth is, it's not only up to me. 642 00:43:48,877 --> 00:43:50,587 My grades suck. 643 00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:52,464 But the only reason I'm going back there 644 00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:54,291 is to pack my shit and split. 645 00:43:54,466 --> 00:43:58,176 - So you quit. Then what? - I'll figure it out. 646 00:43:58,846 --> 00:44:00,096 (SCOFFS) 647 00:44:01,223 --> 00:44:03,553 What? 648 00:44:03,725 --> 00:44:06,355 - Grow a pair. - Excuse me? 649 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,980 You heard me. Tough it out, man. What are you, a pussy? 650 00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:13,029 It's like I said. It's not only up to me. 651 00:44:13,193 --> 00:44:14,983 You're resourceful. You'll figure it out. 652 00:44:15,154 --> 00:44:18,284 Look, Kev, this is the first good day I've had 653 00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:19,658 since I left for that shithole. 654 00:44:19,825 --> 00:44:23,705 Lip, do you want to end up like me? 655 00:44:23,871 --> 00:44:25,081 Clawing for every penny, 656 00:44:25,247 --> 00:44:27,547 praying that you can figure out some way to support your family? 657 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,208 Because that's what I'm going through. 658 00:44:29,376 --> 00:44:31,466 I got bills up to my ass and let me tell you something. 659 00:44:31,628 --> 00:44:32,758 It fucking sucks. 660 00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:35,711 Well, you're resourceful. You'll figure it out. 661 00:44:38,844 --> 00:44:41,634 All right. College is a racket, huh? 662 00:44:41,805 --> 00:44:43,895 Well, guess what? 663 00:44:44,057 --> 00:44:45,857 There's no one better at beating the system than you. 664 00:44:46,018 --> 00:44:49,738 Hell, man, you got them to give you four fucking years for free. 665 00:44:49,897 --> 00:44:51,647 Why don't you get your damn diploma, 666 00:44:51,815 --> 00:44:54,315 spit in their faces and have a fucking future? 667 00:44:54,484 --> 00:44:59,904 Kev, I am trying to drink my beer, enjoy being back home. 668 00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:02,033 This isn't your home. It's where you grew up. 669 00:45:03,660 --> 00:45:04,780 It's not where you're supposed to be. 670 00:45:04,912 --> 00:45:07,832 And what, now you're the arbiter on where everybody's supposed to be? 671 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,580 Yeah, maybe, if I knew what arbiter meant. 672 00:45:11,752 --> 00:45:13,462 I'm getting pretty damn tired of everybody telling me 673 00:45:13,629 --> 00:45:15,429 where I should be and what I should be doing. 674 00:45:15,589 --> 00:45:18,509 Then stop making them have to! Grow the fuck up! 675 00:45:21,386 --> 00:45:23,136 Um... 676 00:45:23,305 --> 00:45:25,185 - Thanks for the beers, Kev. - Yeah, you're welcome. 677 00:45:26,475 --> 00:45:29,355 - GFY. - Yeah, TGIF. 678 00:45:31,355 --> 00:45:32,485 (DOOR CLOSES) 679 00:45:41,740 --> 00:45:43,610 Is Holly here? She's not answering her phone. 680 00:45:43,784 --> 00:45:45,784 She left with some guy. Had a nose ring. 681 00:45:45,953 --> 00:45:47,413 Made him look like a prize bull. 682 00:45:51,917 --> 00:45:53,127 You wanna go somewhere? 683 00:45:54,962 --> 00:45:58,002 - Where? - Bathroom, with me. 684 00:46:00,384 --> 00:46:04,514 - Yes or no? - Okay. 685 00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:17,443 Okay, son, I can take it from here. 686 00:46:19,152 --> 00:46:22,362 Go. Vamanos. Hasta luego. 687 00:46:34,584 --> 00:46:35,964 (KNOCKING) 688 00:46:40,299 --> 00:46:42,599 - Oh, fuck, don't! - Frank? 689 00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:47,139 - It's just me. - (EXHALES) Come on. 690 00:46:51,268 --> 00:46:54,528 - Lights on or off? - Off, please. 691 00:46:56,440 --> 00:47:01,190 - So have you done this before? - Um... Yeah. 692 00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:02,521 - Yeah? - Yeah. 693 00:47:02,696 --> 00:47:04,196 Me, too. 694 00:47:09,578 --> 00:47:13,298 So, uh... how do you want to do it? 695 00:47:14,541 --> 00:47:17,831 Um, however you've done it before. 696 00:47:18,003 --> 00:47:21,883 Okay, or we could do it how you've done it before. 697 00:47:24,718 --> 00:47:28,638 - I'm gonna take my shirt off now. - Cool. 698 00:47:34,269 --> 00:47:36,529 - I'm sorry. - What's wrong? 699 00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:39,608 I can't do this. I can't do this. 700 00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:44,782 That's okay. I think I already did. 701 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,510 Sorry I didn't come get you after your tests. 702 00:48:13,683 --> 00:48:15,763 I had the accident. 703 00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:17,896 When you never came back, I thought maybe you turned out 704 00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:19,733 to be like all the other men in my life. 705 00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:21,318 Not a chance. 706 00:48:23,193 --> 00:48:26,363 - How's the pain? - It's okay. 707 00:48:26,530 --> 00:48:27,860 Now that I'm here with you. 708 00:48:30,325 --> 00:48:32,165 Did they schedule the transplant? 709 00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:36,457 I'll have the money soon as Liberty Mutual cuts the check. 710 00:48:36,665 --> 00:48:39,625 Um... Good news and bad news. 711 00:48:40,544 --> 00:48:42,004 (CHUCKLING) 712 00:48:42,129 --> 00:48:43,889 Okay, good? 713 00:48:44,047 --> 00:48:47,717 I sent Chuckie to the neighbor's so we can be alone tonight. 714 00:48:48,969 --> 00:48:52,599 Great. Uh, what's the bad? 715 00:48:54,015 --> 00:48:57,565 - We're not a match. - What? 716 00:48:57,727 --> 00:49:00,857 The transplant lady said my white blood cells attacked yours. 717 00:49:01,982 --> 00:49:07,442 - Why the fuck did they do that? - Oh, I don't know. I'm so sorry. 718 00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:09,942 - Sorry? What the hell does...? Good does that do me? 719 00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:12,205 I need a liver, not a goddamn apology. 720 00:49:12,367 --> 00:49:14,667 - Frank. - Do you know what I've been through? 721 00:49:14,828 --> 00:49:18,458 I shattered my leg in six places. I stopped drinking. 722 00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,253 I know you're disappointed... 723 00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:23,755 Just one small piece of liver, that's all I need. 724 00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:28,420 But no. Thank you, God. Thank you for the cosmic fuck you. 725 00:49:28,592 --> 00:49:31,842 - Even my own daughter isn't a match. - What? 726 00:49:32,012 --> 00:49:33,512 Anything else you wanna throw at me? 727 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,760 How about a flesh-eating virus, huh? Wanna toss that in? 728 00:49:36,933 --> 00:49:38,563 What did you say? 729 00:49:40,437 --> 00:49:43,777 - What? - Your... daughter? 730 00:49:46,276 --> 00:49:49,906 - I didn't say that. - Yes, you did. 731 00:49:51,448 --> 00:49:55,418 No. Oh, fuck it. What's the use? 732 00:49:55,577 --> 00:49:58,417 Hate me now, hate me later, you all hate me eventually. 733 00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:00,870 And for what? What did I ever do to you? 734 00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:03,911 You're my dad? 735 00:50:04,085 --> 00:50:08,425 - I almost put you in my mouth. - I didn't ask you to do that. 736 00:50:08,590 --> 00:50:11,800 You dry-humped my thigh for half an hour yesterday. 737 00:50:11,968 --> 00:50:13,888 Dry-humping is not incest. 738 00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:20,014 - Shit. - Get out. 739 00:50:20,185 --> 00:50:22,605 What are you yelling about? I'm the one not getting a liver. 740 00:50:22,687 --> 00:50:27,157 (PROLONGED SCREAMING) Get out! 741 00:50:27,317 --> 00:50:29,617 Jesus. God Almighty. Okay. 742 00:50:29,778 --> 00:50:34,198 - Get out! Now! Now! - Okay, okay, okay. No, I'm going! 743 00:50:34,366 --> 00:50:38,706 - All right. Jesus! Jesus! - Freak! Fucking sick! 744 00:50:39,246 --> 00:50:40,836 (SCREAMING) 745 00:50:42,541 --> 00:50:44,581 And stay out! 746 00:50:47,212 --> 00:50:48,962 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 747 00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:52,670 You guys all done? Muy bien. Where did you dump the asbestos? 748 00:50:52,842 --> 00:50:55,382 You know what? Don't tell me. It's better that I don't know. 749 00:50:56,846 --> 00:50:59,016 Here you go. One for each of you. 750 00:50:59,182 --> 00:51:01,562 Don't send it all back home, okay? Thanks, amigos. 751 00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:05,146 Hey, Paco, get a round of half shots for my friends here. 752 00:51:05,313 --> 00:51:06,643 Make sure it's half shots, okay? 753 00:51:06,815 --> 00:51:08,275 - Yo, Kev. - Yeah? 754 00:51:08,441 --> 00:51:10,811 - You clean out that apartment yet? - Yeah, just got it cleaned out. 755 00:51:10,986 --> 00:51:12,866 I'm gonna set up some flyers and see if I can rent it out. 756 00:51:13,029 --> 00:51:15,369 I know how you can make a boatload more. Rent it by the hour. 757 00:51:16,616 --> 00:51:17,866 Look, I got the labor force already. 758 00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:19,784 All I need is clientele and a location. 759 00:51:19,953 --> 00:51:21,163 You got both. 760 00:51:24,165 --> 00:51:26,085 (DEBBIE SOBBING) 761 00:51:26,293 --> 00:51:27,963 Debbie? 762 00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:32,210 Hey. 763 00:51:32,382 --> 00:51:35,092 What's going on? 764 00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:36,380 (LOCK CLICKS) 765 00:51:38,805 --> 00:51:41,685 - Hey, you okay? - (SOBBING) 766 00:51:41,850 --> 00:51:45,890 What's going on? Come on, open up. Talk to me, please. 767 00:51:52,944 --> 00:51:58,194 - Hey, what's going on? - My boyfriend. 768 00:51:58,366 --> 00:52:02,626 - I messed up. - How? 769 00:52:06,750 --> 00:52:12,380 You screwed up. That just proves you're a Gallagher. 770 00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:14,217 (SOBS, COUGHS) 771 00:52:19,012 --> 00:52:21,642 Let me let you in on a little secret. 772 00:52:23,183 --> 00:52:25,643 I don't know what the hell I'm doing either. 773 00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:28,060 Who doesn't know that? 774 00:52:30,774 --> 00:52:32,604 I just wish I could skip the part 775 00:52:32,776 --> 00:52:35,366 where I don't know the right thing to do 776 00:52:35,528 --> 00:52:38,998 and get to the part where I do. 777 00:52:40,659 --> 00:52:42,329 Me, too. 778 00:52:59,260 --> 00:53:01,050 Thank you. 779 00:53:02,806 --> 00:53:04,596 Water? 780 00:53:11,481 --> 00:53:14,981 My kingdom for a lobe, amigo. 781 00:53:15,151 --> 00:53:17,981 My kingdom for a lobe. 782 00:53:22,784 --> 00:53:25,164 Didn't expect to see you again. 783 00:53:28,248 --> 00:53:33,968 Do you know how many nights I laid awake, year after year 784 00:53:34,129 --> 00:53:37,259 wondering where you were, if you ever thought about me? 785 00:53:40,885 --> 00:53:43,935 Did you? Ever? 786 00:53:45,974 --> 00:53:47,144 No. 787 00:53:50,395 --> 00:53:52,275 I will now, though. 788 00:53:54,566 --> 00:53:56,526 I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner. 789 00:53:56,693 --> 00:54:00,233 I just didn't want to ruin what we had together. 790 00:54:16,129 --> 00:54:19,139 - Ow. - (BOTH CHUCKLING) 791 00:54:22,010 --> 00:54:26,090 - Come on, buy me a fucking beer. - Hey, hey. 792 00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:28,804 I need a beer for my daughter here. 793 00:54:44,407 --> 00:54:48,497 - I want a retest. - How long have you been out here? 794 00:54:48,661 --> 00:54:52,991 A couple of hours. I didn't wanna miss you. 795 00:54:53,166 --> 00:54:55,296 I wish you'd shown this concern for punctuality yesterday. 796 00:54:55,460 --> 00:54:57,710 Is that your goal, to graduate students 797 00:54:57,879 --> 00:54:59,179 who can punch a clock? 798 00:54:59,339 --> 00:55:01,679 My goal is to graduate students who can manage 799 00:55:01,841 --> 00:55:03,921 the organizational demands of the real world. 800 00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:05,303 Okay, listen, listen. 801 00:55:05,470 --> 00:55:08,590 I understand all of the demands of the real world. 802 00:55:08,765 --> 00:55:11,105 Okay, it's just the demands of this place 803 00:55:11,267 --> 00:55:13,147 that are taking me some time to figure out. 804 00:55:13,311 --> 00:55:14,721 But I'm getting there. 805 00:55:14,896 --> 00:55:19,356 I just need someone to say, "Fuck it. 806 00:55:19,526 --> 00:55:21,406 This kid deserves a break." 807 00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:23,907 I take it that's me. 808 00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:31,912 - You got a blue book? - Yeah. Right here. 809 00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,580 - Pen? - Yeah, I got three, just in case. 810 00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:38,040 Then fuck it. 811 00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:54,146 That's my high school graduation. 812 00:55:54,310 --> 00:55:58,520 - Nice mullet. - (CHUCKLING) Yeah. 813 00:55:58,690 --> 00:56:01,650 Oh, first wedding. 814 00:56:01,818 --> 00:56:05,158 I wish I could have been there to walk you down the aisle. 815 00:56:06,155 --> 00:56:07,995 You're here now. 816 00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:14,620 Ignore that. 817 00:56:41,149 --> 00:56:43,159 (English US - SDH)