1 00:00:03,630 --> 00:00:04,339 You missed it, didn't ya? 2 00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:06,216 You don't know what happened last week. 3 00:00:06,424 --> 00:00:08,343 You want me to tell you? Give me 100 bucks. 4 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:09,761 Come on, 100 bucks, I'll tell you what ha-- 5 00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:11,930 Okay, 50 bucks! You make a good living! 6 00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,139 Give me some fucking money! 7 00:00:13,348 --> 00:00:14,599 You want to know what happened or not? 8 00:00:14,808 --> 00:00:16,267 Well then, fuck you. I'm not telling you. 9 00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:18,937 It's my goal to get you all 10 00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:21,022 safely across the border into Canada. 11 00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:22,565 - Do you see anybody? - No, I don't see-- 12 00:00:22,774 --> 00:00:24,901 Hello. Wrong side of the border, boys, eh? 13 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,570 You can find your own rich dude to control. 14 00:00:27,779 --> 00:00:29,614 I am past my prime whoring years. 15 00:00:29,823 --> 00:00:31,741 Top ten places to look for rich dudes. 16 00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:33,785 Number one: high-end pubs. 17 00:00:33,994 --> 00:00:35,453 We're taking you sugar-daddy shopping. 18 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,455 I saw you took the "For Rent" sign down. 19 00:00:37,664 --> 00:00:38,873 It's about time I got 20 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,291 something of my own for a change. 21 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,127 You're pretty damn intriguing. 22 00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:43,670 How intriguing? 23 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,171 There was, uh, an accident at my building, 24 00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:47,257 one of the roofer guys fell off the roof. 25 00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:49,676 - Is he okay? - I think he broke his ankle. 26 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:52,095 If there's anything that I can do to help. 27 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:53,430 Thank you. 28 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:55,098 What, Youens still? 29 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:56,641 I can't stop picturing him in an orange jumpsuit 30 00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:57,684 for the rest of his life. 31 00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,727 You're a good fucking friend, 32 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,437 but you can't fix everything. 33 00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:01,855 You still on that Bible shit? 34 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,023 Yeah, I'm proving to my online haters 35 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,316 that Jesus is a fag hag. 36 00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:07,235 Another gaycorcism's going down. 37 00:01:07,444 --> 00:01:08,653 Gotta gather the kids. 38 00:01:08,862 --> 00:01:10,405 - Who are you? - I'm his girlfriend. 39 00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:13,408 - Check this out. - Wow. 40 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,993 You're yelling at me right now! 41 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,286 Because you're being crazy! 42 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:17,996 Yes, I'll marry you! 43 00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,289 Fucking hell yes! 44 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:20,749 Oh, my God... 45 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,801 ♪♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪♪ 46 00:01:32,552 --> 00:01:35,472 ♪♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪♪ 47 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,558 ♪♪ You were beaming once before ♪♪ 48 00:01:39,017 --> 00:01:42,312 ♪♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪♪ 49 00:01:43,313 --> 00:01:46,316 ♪♪ What is this downside ♪♪ 50 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:49,360 ♪♪ That you speak of? ♪♪ 51 00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,988 ♪♪ What is this feeling ♪♪ 52 00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:55,450 ♪♪ You're so sure of? ♪♪ 53 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:06,628 ♪♪ Round up the friends you got ♪♪ 54 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:09,798 ♪♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪♪ 55 00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:13,176 ♪♪ You were willing once before ♪♪ 56 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:16,846 ♪♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪♪ 57 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,725 ♪♪ What is this downside ♪♪ 58 00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:24,437 ♪♪ That you speak of? ♪♪ 59 00:02:24,646 --> 00:02:26,356 ♪♪ What is this feeling ♪♪ 60 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:30,193 ♪♪ You're so sure of? ♪♪ 61 00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:35,073 Ah, you're, uh, still at it. 62 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,157 Yeah, I'm trying to figure out 63 00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:37,951 where all the gay-hating churches are. 64 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,869 There's like one in every neighborhood. 65 00:02:40,078 --> 00:02:42,205 Homophobia's back in style. 66 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,873 Not for long. 67 00:02:44,082 --> 00:02:45,667 I've got more kids coming for a meeting tonight. 68 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,460 - Youens still in jail? - Yeah. 69 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,296 Yeah, I'm actually gonna go check on him later today. 70 00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:51,422 Oh. 71 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,178 Hey, they've got a retirement calculator. 72 00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:59,097 I fucking love the internet. 73 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:02,559 I'll roll over my 401K from Lumber Lawn and Lighting. 74 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:06,312 And then I add my estimated yearly earnings. 75 00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,397 What are you doing, Frank? 76 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:08,898 Planning my retirement. 77 00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:11,109 Time to reflect on my accomplishments 78 00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:14,028 and to bask in the spoils of a life well-lived. 79 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,405 You mean leech off your kids 80 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,323 and drink booze out of a backpack? 81 00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:18,616 You guys, Farhad found me 82 00:03:18,825 --> 00:03:20,660 a temp job that pays 40 bucks an hour! 83 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,537 - Oh, yeah? - Some nighttime welding gig. 84 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:25,081 I don't know, nighttime welding? Sounds kind of sketchy, Debs. 85 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,542 Took me two weeks to make 300 bucks walking dogs. 86 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,169 I can handle sketchy. 87 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:32,088 Expenses? Alcohol and drugs is non-negotiable. 88 00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:34,549 Clothing? Yes, the occasional golf shirt 89 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:37,677 or swimwear for leisurely retirement pursuits. 90 00:03:37,886 --> 00:03:39,762 Hola, hola, good morning. 91 00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:41,222 No mortgage... 92 00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,433 Hola, mi cielito. Como estás? 93 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:44,809 No rent... 94 00:03:45,018 --> 00:03:47,812 Are you ready to have a nice day with your abuelita? 95 00:03:51,608 --> 00:03:53,693 I'll change you. 96 00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,740 - Good morning, boo. - Did you make all this? 97 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,825 Yes. For you, bae. 98 00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:02,660 I am going to cook for you every day, 99 00:04:02,869 --> 00:04:05,038 and dinner too, and then blow jobs for dessert. 100 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,081 I'm going to be the best fucking wife. 101 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:09,959 The age I'd like to retire, 102 00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,127 based on my current age? 103 00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:13,713 Well... they're identical, so. 104 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,007 I-- 105 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,968 W--this makes no sense. 106 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,054 Let me see. 107 00:04:21,471 --> 00:04:22,472 Come on. 108 00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:27,852 All right, you need... 23 grand annually to retire. 109 00:04:28,061 --> 00:04:30,563 And you are short by about... 110 00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:32,148 22 grand. 111 00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:33,524 Sounds right to me. 112 00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:34,651 Oh, fuck that. 113 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,946 I've got engagement presents! 114 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,367 The vibrations will lift up your follicles 115 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,827 so that the blades cut below your skin. 116 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,287 Thank you. 117 00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:49,165 And a Nintendo 3DS for Liam. 118 00:04:49,374 --> 00:04:50,708 Dope. 119 00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:53,211 And a Zen garden 120 00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:56,798 with a tiny, little sand rake for you. 121 00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:59,968 And, um, a Fitbit for Ian. 122 00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:01,344 Sweet. 123 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:04,055 And... hot rollers for you. 124 00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:05,723 Cool. 125 00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:08,351 And for you, my sweet, hot bitch... 126 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:10,019 I found it. 127 00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:12,397 What is it? 128 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,025 Is that blood? 129 00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:17,986 Is that your blood? 130 00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,445 Yeah. It's your blood now. 131 00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,531 You possess me, and vice versa. 132 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:22,824 Here. Come here. 133 00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:25,410 I'll try not to nick an artery. 134 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:26,828 Gross. 135 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,253 - Hi. - Hi. 136 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:36,296 Nice color. 137 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:38,715 It's called "Dangerous Robot." 138 00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:41,050 I'm doing the bathroom in Liquid Kitty. 139 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,219 What happened to just "blue"? 140 00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:46,097 Blue... is not badass. 141 00:05:46,306 --> 00:05:48,641 Well, neither is Liquid Kitty; it sounds like a dyke bar. 142 00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,393 Why don't you just paint it "Wet Pussy"? 143 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,687 Benjamin Moore didn't have that one. 144 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,772 It took me forever to choose. 145 00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:56,941 What is my taste, even? 146 00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:58,359 Ghetto chic. 147 00:05:58,568 --> 00:06:00,153 That's by necessity, not choice. 148 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,529 Well, you're asking the wrong gal. 149 00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:02,947 Mel handles this shit. 150 00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:04,157 And her style's like... 151 00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:06,159 resort meets brothel. 152 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,828 That's perfect for a nursery. 153 00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:10,663 You guys start picking out cribs? 154 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,833 Crib, singular. 155 00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:15,752 We're down a fetus. I miscarried. 156 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:16,961 Oh, shit. 157 00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,254 It's okay. 158 00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,089 I mean, yeah, it sucks, but 159 00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:21,841 we hadn't figured we'd both get pregnant. 160 00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:23,718 Least now I can drink. Got any beer? 161 00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,346 Yeah, go help yourself. 162 00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,473 Well, how's Mel taking it? 163 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:30,892 I haven't told her yet. 164 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,937 Maybe I'll eat smoked salmon and raw eggs in front of her, 165 00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:36,397 and see if she notices. 166 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:42,278 "Hey, stranger. 167 00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:43,821 Picking up some chairs for a client. 168 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,199 Wanna join and grab some furniture for your flat?" 169 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,700 - Is that Ford? - Mm-hmm. 170 00:06:47,909 --> 00:06:49,535 Say yes. He's like a furniture savant. 171 00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:51,788 So the last time I saw him, 172 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:54,123 we kissed, and then he threw me out. 173 00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:55,750 Well, said he had to work. 174 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,920 I have never waited this long for someone to bang me. 175 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:01,923 It's kind of fun, weirdly. 176 00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,132 For now. 177 00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,134 Guy better be an animal in bed. 178 00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:06,302 I wouldn't know. 179 00:07:06,511 --> 00:07:08,971 I closed my eyes and pictured Scarlett Johansson. 180 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,473 But I've heard glowing accounts. 181 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,517 Well, if I find out before I'm 40, 182 00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:13,434 I'll let you know. 183 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,898 Any bites yet? 184 00:07:19,399 --> 00:07:21,984 Maybe we should change her profile description. 185 00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:23,319 What does it say now? 186 00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,279 "Sassy Russian ex-prostitute 187 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,281 seeks single geriatric male 188 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,034 with piles of money and a terminal illness." 189 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:31,411 Subtle. 190 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,538 Guy named Gerald seems interested. 191 00:07:33,746 --> 00:07:35,456 Luxury cigar importer. 192 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,793 Hey, guess what we're doing. 193 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,878 I can find my own rich husband. 194 00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:43,464 We know that you can, but if a wealthy cigar importer 195 00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:45,258 comes into The Alibi tonight, it won't kill you 196 00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,968 to smile and have a drink. 197 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,719 What is the point of smiling? 198 00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:50,680 Make other people feel good. 199 00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:52,807 I make people feel good other ways. 200 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:53,850 Yes, you do. 201 00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,226 But there are some situations 202 00:07:55,435 --> 00:07:56,936 where hand jobs are not appropriate. 203 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,819 American mid-century modern. 204 00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:07,280 Mm. 205 00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,656 That's cool. 206 00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:12,243 Reference to the Danish design movement of the 1950s. 207 00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,002 Try it. 208 00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:27,091 - It's comfy. - Mm-hmm. 209 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:30,428 - Not sure it's me though. - Says who? 210 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,431 You get to choose that. That's what design is for. 211 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:36,017 Decide who you want to be. 212 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:39,187 speaking Greek 213 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:46,402 - speaking Greek - speaking Greek 214 00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:47,403 speaks Greek 215 00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:48,946 Thank you. 216 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,619 - What the fuck was that? - Uh, Greek. 217 00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:57,038 I lived in a monastery in Macedonia for a while. 218 00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,498 Of course you did. 219 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,250 And I just scored you a $2,000 chair for 450, 220 00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,002 which is insane. 221 00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:07,048 I'm not gonna spend $450 on a chair. 222 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,008 It's not a chair. 223 00:09:09,217 --> 00:09:11,594 It's an investment in your future self. 224 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,180 How much that building cost you? 225 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,767 It was a lot more than I had. 226 00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:19,936 Why'd you buy it then? 227 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,898 You're good. 228 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,242 - Hi. - Hi. Inmate's name? 229 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:36,118 It's, uh, Clyde Youens. 230 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:39,914 Y-O-U-E-N-S. 231 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:47,088 I'm sorry, he's deceased. 232 00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:51,968 What? 233 00:09:52,552 --> 00:09:55,179 There was an incident. He didn't survive. 234 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,183 W--when? 235 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:03,646 Tuesday. 236 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,899 Next of kin was contacted and the body was claimed. 237 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,861 Next. 238 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:17,952 - Hi. - Hey. 239 00:10:19,412 --> 00:10:20,955 Here for Paddy, 4629... 240 00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,449 They're kicking him out of the hospital in the morning. 241 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,076 And how is this my problem, huh? 242 00:10:59,452 --> 00:11:00,828 He fell. I didn't push him. 243 00:11:01,037 --> 00:11:02,872 He worked six hours; he'll get his 150 bucks 244 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,498 when the job is done and I get paid. 245 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:05,791 That's how this works. 246 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,959 We're not leaving this spot 247 00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:08,127 until we get out our money. 248 00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:09,253 Whatever! 249 00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:13,174 Sorry to bother you. 250 00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,384 Do you mind if my kids use your bathroom? 251 00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:21,349 Sure. 252 00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:24,226 We love you, Ian! 253 00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:25,478 There he is. Look, it's Ian. 254 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,271 - Ian! Ian! - Can you come to our... 255 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,982 - What's up, guys? - My boyfriend is gonna flip. 256 00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:31,359 He can't stop talking about you. 257 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,402 Could you, uh, record a message for him? 258 00:11:33,611 --> 00:11:34,737 His name's Nico James. 259 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,697 Mr. Gallagher, hi, I'm Reverend Murphy. 260 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:38,616 I'm a pastor at Trinity and Life Evangelical-- 261 00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,284 Oh, we don't need any more ministers, 262 00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:42,036 but if you want to give money, that'd be cool-- 263 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,496 I'm not here for me. 264 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,748 Some folks from my church wanted to meet you. 265 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,375 This is Alice. 266 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,877 Her parents put her through conversion therapy twice. 267 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,004 She has something for you. 268 00:11:53,047 --> 00:11:54,465 Go on, honey. 269 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,182 Wow. 270 00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,517 That, uh, tha-- 271 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,686 you drew this? Thank you. 272 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,771 Can you, like, heal people? 273 00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:10,690 I'm a paramedic, so... 274 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,525 Well, when are you gonna perform your next miracle? 275 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,236 Oh, no, I don't perform miracles. 276 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,405 Do you--I'm sorry, I only saw the one video. 277 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,532 - What is your ministry, again? - I don't have one. 278 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,783 I just kind of show up 279 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:23,160 to these conversion things and argue with assholes. 280 00:12:23,369 --> 00:12:25,329 I... lead meetings at this youth center if you guys want-- 281 00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:26,580 My boyfriend needs help. 282 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:28,999 Could you talk to him? 283 00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:47,059 Oh, well, lookee here, Mr. Popularity. 284 00:12:47,268 --> 00:12:48,894 - Mr. Viral Sensation. - Okay. 285 00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,063 Mr. King of the Queens. 286 00:12:51,272 --> 00:12:53,107 Kind of hoping they'll lose interest. 287 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,734 Yeah, well, there's more and more of them every day. 288 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,152 They're blocking the garage door. 289 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,570 I'm gonna have to park the ambulance 290 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,447 outside by the curb so I don't accidentally 291 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:00,531 run somebody over. 292 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,324 What do they even want? 293 00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:03,409 Uh-- 294 00:13:04,285 --> 00:13:06,162 Guess they just want to be seen by... 295 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,997 someone who sees 'em back. 296 00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:09,498 Oh, please. 297 00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:11,459 Looks to me like they want to douse you in syrup 298 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,419 and slurp you up with a spoon. 299 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:16,839 Could be down for that. 300 00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:21,635 That chair suits you. 301 00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,388 Might be the first time I bought something 302 00:13:24,597 --> 00:13:26,265 I didn't actually need. 303 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,267 Beautiful, functional everyday objects 304 00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:29,643 should be affordable. 305 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,479 My idea of affordable is looting the house 306 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:34,398 of the neighbor who just OD'd so I don't gotta buy new shit. 307 00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:37,693 I've got an old coffee maker that needs a loving home. 308 00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,446 Ooh. Now you're talking. 309 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,656 Maybe I'll come by your place later? 310 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,492 - Pick it up? - I got plans tonight. 311 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:45,743 I'll drop it off tomorrow. 312 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,374 How long have they been in there? 313 00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:53,793 About 20 minutes. 314 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:54,960 Are they bathing? 315 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,087 I think they might be. 316 00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:58,464 Why would they do that? 317 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:00,633 You think they're homeless? 318 00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,816 Jesus, you startled me. 319 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,901 I didn't think anybody else had keys. 320 00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:20,820 I'm sorry, who are you? 321 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,738 Oh, I'm Lip. Um. 322 00:14:23,948 --> 00:14:25,574 Phillip Gallagher. 323 00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:26,659 Who are you? 324 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:28,786 I'm--I'm Tabitha, his daughter. 325 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:31,330 I--um, are you a student? 326 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:32,790 No, I was. 327 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:35,501 I was helping him after the accident. 328 00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:39,922 Accident? I thought he was arrested for a DUI. 329 00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:42,633 You know what? It's okay. 330 00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:44,134 I don't even want to know. 331 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,555 Jesus Christ, this week. 332 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,934 You--you do know he's dead, right? 333 00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:54,520 What happened? 334 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,231 He had, uh, a seizure. 335 00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,441 Alcohol withdrawal. Hit his head. 336 00:15:00,109 --> 00:15:01,652 - Jesus. - Yeah. 337 00:15:03,362 --> 00:15:04,655 There's a memorial service tomorrow, 338 00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,991 and the students are welcome to say a few words if you like. 339 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,243 Oh, no one told me. 340 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,620 The school said they sent out an email. 341 00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:13,956 I-I-I'm sorry, who are you again? 342 00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:17,251 I picked up your dad... from jail, 343 00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:18,711 after the DUI. 344 00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:21,130 I bought him groceries. I-- 345 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,715 Did he pay you? 346 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,550 No, he didn't pay me. 347 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,846 He... covered the cost of my rehab. 348 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,848 And he got me an internship. 349 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,057 He-he tried to convince the school 350 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,225 to revoke my expulsion. 351 00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:34,894 He listened to me. He... 352 00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,730 listened to me about everything. 353 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,983 Well, glad you were so well-parented by my dad. 354 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,696 Look, I-I have this covered. 355 00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:47,448 You can leave your key on the way out. 356 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,075 Thanks. 357 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:51,785 Sure. 358 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,345 Here you are, sir. 359 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,013 On the house. 360 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,098 - Oh, thank you. - Of course. 361 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:16,185 Our elders are a precious resource. 362 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,020 Thanks for staying alive. 363 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:19,772 I'll drink to that. 364 00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:23,442 ♪♪ 'Cause ♪♪ 365 00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:24,985 ♪♪ You dance... ♪♪ 366 00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,283 My, my. 367 00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,452 You must be Svetlana. 368 00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:36,246 Wow. What a knockout. 369 00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:37,915 Good evening, ma'am. 370 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,292 May I procure you a cocktail? 371 00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:41,794 Vodka. 372 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,672 Your profile was, uh, 373 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,966 quite provocative. 374 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,135 You were an escort for a time, weren't you? 375 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,553 Hand whore. 376 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,305 Occasional cocksucking and fucking. 377 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:54,431 What is your name? 378 00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:57,059 - Gerald. - "Gerald." 379 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,520 Sounds like bald man drowning in hot soup. 380 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,688 Huh? 381 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,523 There you are, m'lady. 382 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,942 What would it run me if, uh, 383 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,653 you and I were to take a walk out to my vehicle 384 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:10,114 and you were to keep me company for 30 minutes? 385 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,243 $900,000. 386 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,791 Forty bucks. 387 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,377 And you take off your shoes so I don't get any... 388 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,129 dirt on my seat. 389 00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:27,631 Oh! 390 00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:32,177 ♪♪ You got hotness ♪♪ 391 00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:33,178 ♪♪ To get your body... ♪♪ 392 00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:34,471 Could've gone worse. 393 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:35,806 Don't know how. 394 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:41,311 It sucks when people use God as an excuse for their own hatred, 395 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,441 and when it's your family, it's the worst. 396 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:46,525 Look, 397 00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:49,445 I know you don't want to hurt your parents, 398 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,655 but sometimes they forget. 399 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,367 God creates us all in his own image. 400 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,286 We gotta jog their memory. 401 00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,581 If they believe that God hates the same people as they do, 402 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,876 well, they're creating God in their image. 403 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,836 That's right. That's right. 404 00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:09,048 We all have a Holy Spirit. 405 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,592 We're all holy. 406 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,760 We're all divine... 407 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,136 Jesus, listen to that. 408 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,680 Oh, I know. He's like a prophet. 409 00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:18,057 And he's super hot too. 410 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,434 Like hot gay Jesus. 411 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,689 "Hot gay Jesus." 412 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,859 Bet we can make money off of that. 413 00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:30,235 How? 414 00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:32,488 Ring the right bell for the right causes, 415 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,573 the guilt-ridden pry open their wallets. 416 00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:36,450 It's Pavlovian. 417 00:18:36,909 --> 00:18:39,703 Righteousness is very marketable. 418 00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:41,830 What's that all about? 419 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:44,124 Uh, just a queer religious rebellion 420 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,710 led by your gay brother. No biggie. 421 00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,295 We all have the Trinity inside of us. 422 00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:49,963 I'd like to read a passage from Romans now. 423 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,511 - Who are we hiding from? - The union workers. 424 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:56,804 We gotta wait till they leave for the night. 425 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,472 - How do we get paid? - Cash. 426 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,265 We meet tomorrow, location TBA, 427 00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:01,558 and they'll text the address. 428 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,311 My God. This is so exciting. 429 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:10,984 Everybody, let's go, let's go. 430 00:19:17,783 --> 00:19:18,992 OMG. That was amazing. 431 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,285 Your brother is, like, everything. 432 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,037 And they all ate my popovers. 433 00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:23,956 God, I am really fucking happy. 434 00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:25,707 - Are you? - Yeah. 435 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,543 But are you, like, really fucking happy 436 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:28,877 or are you just, like, meh? 437 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,420 I'm really fuckin' happy. 438 00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:32,965 Yay. 439 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,551 - Hey, what you writing? - A list. 440 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,845 "Swiss Army knife, stun gun, 441 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,555 retractable night stick," what-what is this shit? 442 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:40,931 List for school. Give it back. 443 00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,100 Wait, military school? 444 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,810 You said that you weren't going back. 445 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,311 We're engaged! 446 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,230 I never said I wasn't going back. 447 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,648 I've been packing my duffel bag all week. 448 00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:50,858 Oh, I'm sorry. 449 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,151 I guess I've been just too busy 450 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,610 buying your fuckin' family shit 451 00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,404 and-and making a fucking life for us. 452 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,906 Meanwhile, you've just been shitting all over it. 453 00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:00,284 Why did we even bother getting engaged? 454 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,078 Why did I fucking cut myself for you? 455 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,663 We'll make it work; you'll come visit. 456 00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,540 - We'll scout motels. - Motels? 457 00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,959 What am I, a prostitute? 458 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,878 No, I never said that! 459 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,963 You are so full of shit, Carl! 460 00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,465 - You don't even love me! - Of course I love you! 461 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:16,967 Well, you don't love me enough! 462 00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:18,635 Then how do I prove it to you? 463 00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,512 Um, you're not supposed to ask 464 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:23,056 how you prove to love somebody, you should just prove it. 465 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,892 Well, obviously it's not fuckin' enough. 466 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,185 Uh, yeah, because your real goal is 467 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,978 to go back to military school. 468 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,439 Of course that doesn't make me think that you love me! 469 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,996 I want you to stay here 470 00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:47,623 and be my husband! 471 00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,125 Reverend Murph, 472 00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,418 this is my sister Fiona. 473 00:20:51,627 --> 00:20:53,378 - Pleasure. - Hi. 474 00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:56,256 I'm super impressed, dude. 475 00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:57,716 The only way I can get that many people 476 00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:00,052 is if I offer free pizza. 477 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,054 No, it's just 'cause of that video. 478 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,806 No. You got something, man. 479 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,308 Bunch of folks who couldn't make it 480 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,976 already messaged me about the next one. 481 00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:09,770 Oh, I definitely can't fit more people in here 482 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,271 than I did tonight. 483 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,649 Would you feel weird about using our parish hall? 484 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,400 No pressure. 485 00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:17,444 Just shoot me a text when you decide, 486 00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,695 I'll send you the address. 487 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,157 Thanks for the beer. 488 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,623 How's the new place? 489 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,543 Small. Quiet. 490 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,255 - I bought a chair. - Oh. 491 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,174 Your, uh, fellowship thing 492 00:21:39,383 --> 00:21:41,426 seems to be doing well. 493 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,096 First Gallagher to become famous for something 494 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,764 other than larceny or assault. 495 00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,474 Ha, yeah. 496 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:49,643 It's, uh... 497 00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:52,813 it's getting pretty out of hand. 498 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,856 I got people showing up at my home, 499 00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:57,317 church place, work. 500 00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:00,153 I had to shut down my Facebook page. 501 00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,531 So why not quit if you hate it so much? 502 00:22:03,115 --> 00:22:04,533 I don't. 503 00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:07,953 Just...trying to manage it. 504 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:11,415 She's back to flipping out again about military school. 505 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:14,251 Says I can't go 'cause we're engaged. 506 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,919 Wait, you're actually engaged? 507 00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:18,547 - I thought that was a joke. - Don't marry her. 508 00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:20,132 I can't lose her. 509 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,633 She's fun, hot, 510 00:22:21,842 --> 00:22:22,843 rich, hot. 511 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:24,219 She loves me. 512 00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:25,429 No one's ever loved me this hard. 513 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:27,222 Do not marry her, okay? 514 00:22:27,431 --> 00:22:28,974 She is a fucking psycho. 515 00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,518 Marry her. 516 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,979 Hear me and heed me. 517 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:38,775 Do not let that frothing piece of lady meat out of your sight. 518 00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:40,694 She has a trust fund. 519 00:22:40,902 --> 00:22:41,862 Get joint checking. 520 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:45,407 And whatever you do, do not sign a prenup. 521 00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:47,326 Hey. 522 00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:50,203 It's Gay Jesus. 523 00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:52,873 Can I have this? 524 00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:15,645 Hey! Scabs! 525 00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,565 - Go, go! - Fuckin' run! 526 00:23:18,774 --> 00:23:19,608 - Oh, fuck! - Get back here! 527 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,276 Debbie! Debbie, run! 528 00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:25,614 Come here, you motherfucker! 529 00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:36,935 Hey! 530 00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:38,353 How ya feeling? 531 00:24:38,562 --> 00:24:39,479 Like shit. 532 00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:41,189 Sorry to hear that. 533 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,151 Your boss emailed me. 534 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,445 He finished the job, sent me an invoice. 535 00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:49,030 Probably want to track him down so you can get paid. 536 00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,532 Thanks for the heads up. 537 00:24:58,081 --> 00:25:00,750 Okay. You did really well last night. 538 00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:03,503 However, we need to tone down the rage a little. 539 00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:05,422 You're not gonna get anywhere if your date thinks 540 00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,716 you want to murder him the second he ties the knot. 541 00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:09,718 - What if I do? - Great question. 542 00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:13,889 Which brings us to Part A of our plan: etiquette. 543 00:25:16,641 --> 00:25:18,977 Rich guys are old school. 544 00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:21,396 They want a lady to be a lady. 545 00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:23,732 A man wants to feel powerful. 546 00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:25,108 Really powerful. 547 00:25:25,317 --> 00:25:27,027 So let him dominate the conversation. 548 00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,237 Act like he's totally fascinating. 549 00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:30,655 I cannot do this. 550 00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:32,699 Okay, this brings us to Part B of our plan. 551 00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:38,622 This is a tiny microphone. Attach it to your shirt. 552 00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:46,796 This is a tiny earpiece. Put this in your ear. 553 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,840 Oh, come on, Svet. You're Russian. 554 00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:51,092 This is spy shit. It's in your DNA. 555 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,390 Testing, testing. Can you hear me? 556 00:25:57,807 --> 00:25:58,600 You are right there. 557 00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:00,644 I meant in the thingy. 558 00:26:04,064 --> 00:26:04,940 Can you hear me? 559 00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:06,274 Yes. 560 00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:07,859 Okay. Do everything I say. 561 00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:08,902 Scratch your nose. 562 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,240 Tuck your hair behind your ear. 563 00:26:15,075 --> 00:26:16,159 Excellent. 564 00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:18,787 Say, "Kevin Ball has a sexy voice." 565 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,580 Why should I lie? 566 00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:21,998 Say it. 567 00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:25,961 Kevin Ball has a sexy voice. 568 00:26:26,169 --> 00:26:27,212 Mmm. 569 00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:32,467 What the fuck was that last night? 570 00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:34,553 I never said it was risk-free. 571 00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:36,096 You also never said 572 00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:37,847 we'd be running for our lives. 573 00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:39,849 Why'd they hire us instead of hiring their own guys? 574 00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:41,226 Scabs are non-union. 575 00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:44,145 Union guys get overtime, pension, health. 576 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,148 So we're screwing over a union we want to join someday? 577 00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:48,984 If we don't take the work, someone else will. 578 00:26:49,192 --> 00:26:50,527 It's wrong and it's dangerous. 579 00:26:50,735 --> 00:26:51,861 I'm never being a scab again. 580 00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:56,783 Hey, just got a tip for another gig. 581 00:26:56,992 --> 00:26:58,118 Pays even more. 582 00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,163 Five hundred. 583 00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:03,331 I'm in. 584 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:13,800 Hi. 585 00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:16,219 What you got there? 586 00:27:16,845 --> 00:27:18,471 Free appliance. 587 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,515 Works great if you're patient. 588 00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:22,517 Is that a shitty, old percolator? 589 00:27:22,726 --> 00:27:24,477 It's Italian. It's art. 590 00:27:27,230 --> 00:27:28,481 Hey. 591 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:30,442 What are you guys still doing here? 592 00:27:31,234 --> 00:27:32,193 We can't leave. 593 00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,029 Rodney won't fit in the car with his leg. 594 00:27:34,237 --> 00:27:37,115 Plus, our AC is busted. 595 00:27:37,324 --> 00:27:38,742 You know anybody with an SUV? 596 00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:40,869 Or I can take you somewhere. Where you headed? 597 00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,708 Is there, uh, some family you can stay with 598 00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:48,418 or maybe an old neighbor? 599 00:27:48,627 --> 00:27:50,253 Oh, we've been looking into some charity housing, 600 00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,339 but they all have a wait list. 601 00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,466 I know someone who works with local shelters. 602 00:27:54,674 --> 00:27:57,093 I can ask him if he maybe knows a place that could take you. 603 00:27:57,552 --> 00:27:59,804 - Wow, you'd do that? - Sure. 604 00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:24,829 Hey. 605 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:25,914 What the fuck? 606 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:27,499 Hey, baby. 607 00:28:27,707 --> 00:28:29,501 You cut up all my uniforms? 608 00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:31,169 Well, I weighed out the pros and cons, 609 00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:32,921 and I made a decision for our family. 610 00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:34,756 I think that it's better for everyone 611 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:36,216 that you don't go back to school. 612 00:28:36,424 --> 00:28:38,093 We have a wedding to plan. 613 00:28:38,301 --> 00:28:39,552 Kassidi. 614 00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:41,012 Don't say my name like that. 615 00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:43,014 - Kassidi-- - Do not 616 00:28:43,223 --> 00:28:45,100 say my name like that, I mean it, Carl. 617 00:28:45,308 --> 00:28:47,227 Kassidi, this is not a joke! 618 00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:49,396 I am going back to military school. 619 00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,022 I hate you! 620 00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:52,941 Hey! 621 00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:54,609 Fuck. Wait! 622 00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:56,319 You can't leave me! I'll die! 623 00:28:56,528 --> 00:28:58,113 Hey, what the fuck! You're not gonna die! 624 00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,739 We're gonna see each other like once a week! 625 00:28:59,948 --> 00:29:01,408 - I can't! - Open up the door! 626 00:29:01,616 --> 00:29:03,076 - I need you! - What the fuck? You kidding me? 627 00:29:03,284 --> 00:29:04,577 This engagement is bullshit! 628 00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:06,037 What? What the fuck? 629 00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:07,831 I paid like 100 bucks for that! 630 00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:09,124 - Fuck you! - Come on! 631 00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:10,417 Fuck you! Fuck you! 632 00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:13,837 Oh, my God! What do you want me to do? 633 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:16,423 Marry me before you leave, dumbass. 634 00:29:16,631 --> 00:29:17,799 You love me, right? 635 00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:19,467 Then what's the point in waiting? 636 00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:21,678 Okay, fine. 637 00:29:21,886 --> 00:29:23,596 - Today? - Yeah, sure. 638 00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:27,392 ♪♪ I was in so deep ♪♪ 639 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,394 But--do you have a fake ID? 640 00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:31,229 Yeah.- 641 00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:33,314 ♪♪ My same ole story ♪♪ 642 00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:35,191 ♪♪ And the weight is all ♪♪ 643 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,693 ♪♪ The weight is all on me ♪♪ 644 00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:38,403 - Hey. - Hey. 645 00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:39,779 Where's Ian? 646 00:29:39,988 --> 00:29:41,448 I don't know. I haven't seen him. 647 00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:42,657 Fuck. 648 00:29:43,366 --> 00:29:45,493 He was supposed to be here like an hour ago to help set up. 649 00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:47,829 Doing this thing about careers in emergency services 650 00:29:48,037 --> 00:29:49,330 for our Life Skills program. 651 00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:52,292 Shit-ton of people signed up because of him, but... 652 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,710 whatever. 653 00:29:54,252 --> 00:29:55,170 What's up? 654 00:29:55,378 --> 00:29:56,713 Uh, one of the guys 655 00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:58,465 who was working on my roof got hurt. 656 00:29:58,673 --> 00:30:00,258 He's gonna be out of work for a few months, 657 00:30:00,467 --> 00:30:02,677 and his family's living out of a car. 658 00:30:02,886 --> 00:30:04,137 I was wondering if you might know any 659 00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:06,181 family shelters that could take him? 660 00:30:06,389 --> 00:30:08,975 Um, I might, actually. Follow me. 661 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:14,606 So, uh, what's your take on this whole, uh, 662 00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:17,400 Ian ambushing all those ministers? 663 00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:18,985 Uh, 664 00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:21,571 not really sure what to make of it. 665 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:22,614 Ah, yeah. 666 00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:24,991 I mean, part of me is psyched 667 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,785 that he's helping people, but 668 00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:29,037 another part is, I don't know, 669 00:30:29,245 --> 00:30:31,372 kind of bummed that I have to crowbar my way into his life 670 00:30:31,581 --> 00:30:33,374 if I want to see him. 671 00:30:33,583 --> 00:30:34,250 Oh. 672 00:30:35,627 --> 00:30:37,170 This place is decent. 673 00:30:37,378 --> 00:30:38,880 I'll call over and get everything squared away 674 00:30:39,088 --> 00:30:39,881 and let you know. 675 00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:41,132 - Thanks. - Yeah. 676 00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:42,926 And, hey, if you see Ian, please... 677 00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:44,010 - Yes. - Thank you. 678 00:30:44,219 --> 00:30:45,094 Will do. 679 00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:47,055 - Thanks. - Yeah. 680 00:30:53,102 --> 00:30:55,146 The fuck is this, Frank? 681 00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:57,774 Son, I don't think I've articulated 682 00:30:57,982 --> 00:31:00,652 how impressed I am with your recent endeavors. 683 00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:02,779 I knew you were talented, but, uh... 684 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,615 "The Church of Gay Jesus." Is this a jumbo shirt? 685 00:31:06,157 --> 00:31:07,033 To reach the masses, 686 00:31:07,242 --> 00:31:09,244 you've got to embrace merchandising 687 00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:11,663 to take your brand to the next level. 688 00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:15,250 Uh, how about T-shirts proudly displaying your message? 689 00:31:15,458 --> 00:31:16,960 Well, I-I don't have a church. 690 00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:18,461 And I'm not fuckin' Jesus. 691 00:31:18,670 --> 00:31:20,338 Tongue in cheek, son. 692 00:31:21,005 --> 00:31:23,842 When you repurpose a-an iconic logo 693 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:25,677 for the-the sake of kitsch, 694 00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:29,806 you present an ironic critique of American consumerism. 695 00:31:30,014 --> 00:31:31,808 And if that logo 696 00:31:32,016 --> 00:31:33,977 just happens to resemble a... 697 00:31:34,185 --> 00:31:35,979 giant, throbbing penis, 698 00:31:36,187 --> 00:31:37,772 what could be more counterculture? 699 00:31:37,981 --> 00:31:40,733 It looks like a hot dog. And the lettering sucks. 700 00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:44,445 Revolutions don't come wrapped in a cute ribbon. 701 00:31:44,654 --> 00:31:46,489 You want to bring down power structures? 702 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:48,324 You want to get in the face of people 703 00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:50,535 who are peddling corroded ideals? 704 00:31:50,743 --> 00:31:54,038 You need a uniform that screams authenticity. 705 00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:56,666 We didn't pay Chinese factory orphans 706 00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:58,167 three cents an hour to make these. 707 00:31:58,376 --> 00:32:00,753 No, this is our living room. 708 00:32:01,337 --> 00:32:02,630 Our hands. Our sweat. 709 00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,299 Talk about grassroots. 710 00:32:06,384 --> 00:32:09,345 I have a meeting tonight at Trinity and Life Evangelical. 711 00:32:09,554 --> 00:32:11,014 You can hawk your shit there, but 712 00:32:11,222 --> 00:32:13,683 everything you make has to go to Trevor's kids. 713 00:32:13,892 --> 00:32:16,311 Oh, come on! This is my retirement fund. 714 00:32:18,187 --> 00:32:19,397 Twenty percent. 715 00:32:19,981 --> 00:32:21,357 Thirty? 716 00:32:21,566 --> 00:32:24,903 Okay, 95 percent, and we appreciate your business. 717 00:32:26,738 --> 00:32:29,657 And this has been a rough few years. 718 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,202 Needless to say, it hasn't been that easy 719 00:32:33,411 --> 00:32:34,537 being around my dad. 720 00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:36,080 But my favorite memory of him 721 00:32:36,289 --> 00:32:37,916 is this thing that he would do. 722 00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:40,460 So he would be in his office, 723 00:32:40,668 --> 00:32:44,756 hunched over paperwork, and I'd knock. 724 00:32:44,964 --> 00:32:47,216 And he'd look up, confused. 725 00:32:48,384 --> 00:32:49,552 And then, boom. 726 00:32:50,595 --> 00:32:54,015 It's the--the biggest, warmest smile. 727 00:32:54,557 --> 00:32:57,685 That is the version of my dad that I'm going to remember. 728 00:32:57,894 --> 00:32:59,812 And I'm grateful for every moment 729 00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:01,856 that I had with him 730 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,650 when he was just him. 731 00:33:05,652 --> 00:33:08,863 You hear about these professors who go the extra mile 732 00:33:09,405 --> 00:33:10,448 to help a student. 733 00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:14,953 But what Youens did for me went above and beyond that. 734 00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:16,663 Got me my first real job. 735 00:33:16,871 --> 00:33:19,415 Listened to me bitch about my family. 736 00:33:19,624 --> 00:33:20,500 He was there for me. 737 00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:22,126 He got me internships, 738 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,545 wrote dozens of letters of recommendation, 739 00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:27,423 personally called the dean at Carnegie Mellon 740 00:33:27,632 --> 00:33:29,926 to get me into the robotics doctoral program. 741 00:33:30,593 --> 00:33:32,887 Told me once, he wished he'd been a poet. 742 00:33:33,513 --> 00:33:35,723 And he showed me something he'd written. 743 00:33:36,349 --> 00:33:38,351 Said I was the only person 744 00:33:38,559 --> 00:33:40,186 he trusted enough to show. 745 00:33:41,771 --> 00:33:42,981 That poem was awful. 746 00:33:44,273 --> 00:33:46,192 And no matter how busy he was, 747 00:33:46,651 --> 00:33:49,028 Youens always made time to talk to me. 748 00:33:49,529 --> 00:33:51,447 He helped me with whatever I needed, 749 00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:55,827 listen, offer advice, wise counsel. 750 00:33:56,035 --> 00:33:57,745 Day or night, it didn't matter, 751 00:33:57,954 --> 00:34:00,623 when you called or knocked on his door, 752 00:34:00,832 --> 00:34:02,250 he always answered. 753 00:34:04,377 --> 00:34:05,878 Always. 754 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:07,755 ♪♪ You could ever really love me... ♪♪ 755 00:34:07,964 --> 00:34:09,549 He was like a father to me. 756 00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:13,344 I honestly don't know where I'd be without him today. 757 00:34:13,553 --> 00:34:15,596 ♪♪ It's in your head... ♪♪ 758 00:34:15,805 --> 00:34:19,142 He invested his time and energy to make sure 759 00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:21,477 I didn't become a total fuck-up. 760 00:34:21,686 --> 00:34:22,645 He didn't have to. 761 00:34:24,272 --> 00:34:26,566 I'm still not sure why he did. 762 00:34:26,774 --> 00:34:29,861 Okay. My friend found you a place. 763 00:34:30,069 --> 00:34:31,362 It's a family shelter. 764 00:34:31,571 --> 00:34:32,947 They'll have a room for you in two days. 765 00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:35,324 Girls, we've got a place to live. 766 00:34:35,533 --> 00:34:38,411 They can take us in two days, you said? 767 00:34:38,619 --> 00:34:40,038 Mm-hmm. 768 00:34:40,496 --> 00:34:43,416 Oh, we've got the tarp if it rains again. 769 00:34:52,050 --> 00:34:53,843 Why don't you just stay here for two nights? 770 00:34:54,385 --> 00:34:55,636 Really? 771 00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:58,056 Yeah. Not a problem. 772 00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:00,099 I'll just, uh, I'll crash at my old place. 773 00:35:00,308 --> 00:35:02,560 Oh, my God, Fiona. 774 00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:05,063 Thank you. You're a lifesaver. 775 00:35:08,941 --> 00:35:12,236 We should go get a blanket and a bottle of champagne, 776 00:35:12,445 --> 00:35:15,531 go in the park, and lay in the grass as man and wife, 777 00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:18,409 and let the moon and the stars bless our union. 778 00:35:22,121 --> 00:35:23,539 Cute! 779 00:35:23,748 --> 00:35:26,209 Now serving: 103. 780 00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:27,168 Oh! 781 00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:28,461 Yay! That's us. 782 00:35:28,669 --> 00:35:30,004 Okay, come on. 783 00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:38,930 All set. 784 00:35:39,138 --> 00:35:42,892 Your marriage license is valid for 60 days in Cook County only. 785 00:35:43,101 --> 00:35:44,393 There's a one-day waiting period 786 00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:46,145 before the license becomes effective. 787 00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:49,524 Wait. So we can't get married today? 788 00:35:49,732 --> 00:35:51,818 You can get married at this exact time tomorrow. 789 00:35:52,819 --> 00:35:55,404 What the fuck? This sucks. 790 00:36:05,414 --> 00:36:07,458 I look like a fucking First Lady. 791 00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:08,543 Here. 792 00:36:08,751 --> 00:36:09,627 Go cross your legs 793 00:36:09,836 --> 00:36:12,380 and pretend to be captivated. 794 00:36:15,466 --> 00:36:16,968 Smokey to Bobcat. 795 00:36:17,176 --> 00:36:18,886 Do you hear me? Over. 796 00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:21,889 What are you guys up to? 797 00:36:22,098 --> 00:36:25,017 We're trying to get Svetlana married off to a rich dude. 798 00:36:25,226 --> 00:36:26,644 So... 799 00:36:26,853 --> 00:36:28,604 you just gave 'em your place, just like that? 800 00:36:28,813 --> 00:36:30,481 What else was I supposed to do? 801 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:33,776 Man, I was really digging my quiet mornings 802 00:36:33,985 --> 00:36:35,736 away from Gallagher chaos. 803 00:36:35,945 --> 00:36:37,321 And it's extra bad right now 804 00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:39,657 'cause of Ian's gay messiah shit. 805 00:36:39,866 --> 00:36:41,951 He should read Pope Leo the 13th's 806 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,911 encyclical on property rights. 807 00:36:44,829 --> 00:36:46,414 I'll pass it on. 808 00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,251 You know, whiskey is actually 809 00:36:50,793 --> 00:36:52,962 clear when it comes off the still. 810 00:36:53,504 --> 00:36:55,840 It gets the caramel color from the barrel-- 811 00:36:56,048 --> 00:36:57,842 You know, I'm just-- I'm just gonna say this. 812 00:36:58,050 --> 00:36:59,260 Sometimes it feels like 813 00:36:59,468 --> 00:37:01,345 it doesn't even matter that I'm sitting here. 814 00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:03,306 I know all the places you've lived. 815 00:37:03,514 --> 00:37:04,891 I know all the languages you speak. 816 00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:07,768 I've met your exes, your baby mamas, your spawn. 817 00:37:07,977 --> 00:37:11,522 And yet, you have never asked one question about me. 818 00:37:11,731 --> 00:37:13,024 Did you know that I became 819 00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:15,484 legal guardian of my siblings when I was 23? 820 00:37:15,693 --> 00:37:17,153 Or that I dropped out of high school, 821 00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:19,155 but then I went back and I got my GED? 822 00:37:19,363 --> 00:37:20,948 Yes, actually, I did. 823 00:37:22,575 --> 00:37:24,744 And I know you did it to convince your genius brother 824 00:37:24,952 --> 00:37:27,121 who's a recovering alcoholic to stay in college. 825 00:37:27,872 --> 00:37:30,082 I know you got left at the altar by your junkie fiancé 826 00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:32,627 with whom you were very much in love. 827 00:37:32,835 --> 00:37:35,546 - How? - 'Cause I ask around. 828 00:37:35,755 --> 00:37:37,215 There's some other stuff I know. 829 00:37:37,423 --> 00:37:38,883 You're fiercely protective of your family. 830 00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:40,343 You're generous. 831 00:37:40,927 --> 00:37:42,011 Like today, for example, 832 00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:44,180 you gave your apartment to a homeless family. 833 00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:48,517 You are so very much yourself. 834 00:37:49,352 --> 00:37:50,978 You don't even have to try. 835 00:37:53,439 --> 00:37:56,234 And frankly, you scare the fuckin' shit out of me. 836 00:38:18,130 --> 00:38:19,382 It's him. It's him. 837 00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:21,842 Svet, Svet. 838 00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:25,596 The buzzard is in the tuba. The buzzard is in the tuba. 839 00:38:25,805 --> 00:38:27,348 - The what? - I have no idea. 840 00:38:27,556 --> 00:38:28,683 I've never done this before. 841 00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:35,648 What's she saying? 842 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,943 I can't hear anything. 843 00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:42,905 I can't hear anything. We never tested the microphone. 844 00:38:44,115 --> 00:38:46,075 All right, well, she needs to relax. 845 00:38:46,284 --> 00:38:48,077 Tell her to lean in a little. 846 00:38:49,453 --> 00:38:51,163 Svetlana, lean in a little. 847 00:38:52,290 --> 00:38:52,915 Too far. Too far. 848 00:38:53,124 --> 00:38:54,667 Too far. Too far. 849 00:38:56,419 --> 00:38:57,962 Take a sip of your drink. 850 00:38:59,005 --> 00:39:00,506 Sip, not gulp. 851 00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:03,467 Tell her to-to ask him about something. 852 00:39:03,676 --> 00:39:04,719 All right. All right. 853 00:39:04,927 --> 00:39:05,761 All right, Svet. 854 00:39:05,970 --> 00:39:08,014 Ask him about his mother. 855 00:39:08,681 --> 00:39:09,473 No, not his mother. 856 00:39:09,682 --> 00:39:11,976 Ask him about his favorite sports teams. 857 00:39:12,184 --> 00:39:13,144 Allergies-- what the hell 858 00:39:13,352 --> 00:39:15,396 do people talk about on dates? 859 00:39:15,855 --> 00:39:17,815 Did she just drop her earpiece in her drink? 860 00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:23,070 Oh, no. 861 00:39:23,279 --> 00:39:25,031 She's gonna grab his cock, isn't she? 862 00:39:29,869 --> 00:39:31,954 Mm-hmm. Called that one. 863 00:39:32,163 --> 00:39:32,788 T-shirts! 864 00:39:32,997 --> 00:39:34,999 Each garment has been worn by the man himself. 865 00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:36,000 - And blessed! - T-shirts. 866 00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:37,626 $50 suggested donation. 867 00:39:37,835 --> 00:39:39,128 The white one? Okay. Thank you. 868 00:39:39,337 --> 00:39:40,504 T-shirts, T-shirts. 869 00:39:40,713 --> 00:39:41,589 T-shirts, get your T-shirts here! 870 00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:43,257 Nice turnout. 871 00:39:43,466 --> 00:39:45,801 Only half of them are regulars. 872 00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:47,219 You did great. 873 00:39:47,428 --> 00:39:48,929 I just sat there while people talked about 874 00:39:49,138 --> 00:39:50,264 how horribly they'd been treated, 875 00:39:50,473 --> 00:39:52,308 by family, co-workers... 876 00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:54,268 Can you please sign this, please? 877 00:39:54,477 --> 00:39:55,936 - ...strangers. - Thank you. 878 00:39:56,145 --> 00:39:57,897 Sometimes that's all they need. 879 00:39:59,231 --> 00:40:00,691 Tomorrow's our weekly service... 880 00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,068 - Thanks so much. - ...where we invite speakers 881 00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:03,611 to come up and discuss how to turn 882 00:40:03,819 --> 00:40:06,030 personal pain into positive action. 883 00:40:06,489 --> 00:40:08,032 We call it "A Night of Good Grief." 884 00:40:08,866 --> 00:40:10,993 The name is silly, but the idea isn't. 885 00:40:11,202 --> 00:40:12,536 You up for it? 886 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:13,954 Well... 887 00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:18,209 I don't...know what to say that hasn't already been said. 888 00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:19,877 You say it again. 889 00:40:20,086 --> 00:40:21,712 It can't be said enough, not until queer kids 890 00:40:21,921 --> 00:40:23,631 stop being told there's something wrong with them. 891 00:40:23,839 --> 00:40:25,758 It was so worth it. 892 00:41:01,252 --> 00:41:04,880 ♪♪ Solid as a stone ♪♪ 893 00:41:05,089 --> 00:41:07,925 ♪♪ All is almost lost ♪♪ 894 00:41:08,134 --> 00:41:11,512 ♪♪ And it starts to show ♪♪ 895 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:15,474 ♪♪ And it's home but it's gone ♪♪ 896 00:41:21,730 --> 00:41:22,773 Fuck! 897 00:41:25,693 --> 00:41:27,862 ♪♪ Tear down your ♪♪ 898 00:41:28,070 --> 00:41:31,407 ♪♪ Suffering ♪♪ 899 00:41:31,615 --> 00:41:33,075 ♪♪ Bolt ♪♪ 900 00:41:33,284 --> 00:41:35,035 ♪♪ By ♪♪ 901 00:41:35,244 --> 00:41:38,581 ♪♪ Bolt ♪♪ 902 00:41:53,262 --> 00:41:54,013 Hey. 903 00:41:54,221 --> 00:41:55,431 - Hm? - Hey. 904 00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:57,516 We need to talk. 905 00:41:58,559 --> 00:42:00,060 What? What? 906 00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,146 You gotta promise not to freak out. 907 00:42:02,688 --> 00:42:03,898 I promise. 908 00:42:04,356 --> 00:42:06,609 Okay. First of all. 909 00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:08,736 You're, like, the best thing that's ever happened to me 910 00:42:08,944 --> 00:42:10,905 like, by like a bazillion. 911 00:42:11,405 --> 00:42:13,365 But when we were at the clerk's office, 912 00:42:13,699 --> 00:42:15,201 and she said we had to wait... 913 00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:18,454 I was relieved. 914 00:42:18,871 --> 00:42:19,830 A little. 915 00:42:21,207 --> 00:42:24,168 'Cause I feel like we rushed into this. 916 00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:26,003 And I totally want you to be my wife, 917 00:42:26,253 --> 00:42:27,505 my little sweetie boo. 918 00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:31,175 Would you hate me 919 00:42:31,383 --> 00:42:34,220 if we stayed engaged a teeny bit longer? 920 00:42:34,428 --> 00:42:35,930 Until we're both 921 00:42:36,639 --> 00:42:40,851 no doubt, positively sure we're ready? 922 00:42:44,647 --> 00:42:45,940 I could never hate you. 923 00:42:47,358 --> 00:42:49,276 - For real? - Yeah. 924 00:42:49,902 --> 00:42:52,321 And thank you for being honest with me. 925 00:42:52,530 --> 00:42:56,158 That's, like, super important for a healthy marriage. 926 00:42:57,117 --> 00:42:59,036 You are awesome. 927 00:42:59,245 --> 00:43:00,371 I love you. 928 00:43:00,579 --> 00:43:02,248 Mm, I love you too. 929 00:43:04,041 --> 00:43:05,251 Mm. 930 00:43:16,929 --> 00:43:18,806 Okay, okay. 931 00:43:19,014 --> 00:43:20,224 Okay, now. 932 00:43:37,074 --> 00:43:39,034 You're getting pretty good at that. 933 00:43:40,828 --> 00:43:42,871 Fourth time's the charm. 934 00:43:46,959 --> 00:43:48,127 Well, 935 00:43:48,836 --> 00:43:50,129 two left. 936 00:43:51,255 --> 00:43:53,549 Better hope you tire out soon. 937 00:43:58,178 --> 00:43:59,847 Do you think I'm the only person on Earth 938 00:44:00,055 --> 00:44:01,473 who doesn't want your babies? 939 00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:03,183 I don't want my babies. 940 00:44:03,392 --> 00:44:05,311 That's why I keep letting other people have them. 941 00:44:07,146 --> 00:44:09,648 I dig this candid version of you. 942 00:44:12,067 --> 00:44:15,362 Now...ask me something about myself. 943 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,325 What's the one thing about Fiona Gallagher 944 00:44:19,867 --> 00:44:21,493 that might surprise me? 945 00:44:22,453 --> 00:44:23,912 That's a tough one. 946 00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:26,498 You seem to have me all figured out. 947 00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:28,709 That's my gift. 948 00:44:31,170 --> 00:44:32,838 How about... 949 00:44:36,342 --> 00:44:38,844 I think I might not want to have kids. 950 00:44:39,553 --> 00:44:41,513 But you're a woman. How is that possible? 951 00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:46,226 Well, my siblings are my kids. 952 00:44:51,815 --> 00:44:53,317 It's Nessa. 953 00:44:53,525 --> 00:44:54,568 Mm-hmm. 954 00:44:54,777 --> 00:44:55,778 I'm supposed to be analyzing 955 00:44:55,986 --> 00:44:57,488 your skills and reporting back. 956 00:44:57,696 --> 00:44:59,365 And how am I doing so far? 957 00:45:00,032 --> 00:45:01,659 Overall positive. 958 00:45:01,867 --> 00:45:03,786 Happy to give you more data. 959 00:45:03,994 --> 00:45:06,246 Hi. Can I call you back later? 960 00:45:09,625 --> 00:45:11,251 You're fucking kidding me. 961 00:45:14,963 --> 00:45:16,382 - Thanks for the heads up. - Any time. 962 00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:19,885 FYI, they just dragged in two sleeping bags and a pull-up bar. 963 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,180 Hello? 964 00:45:25,057 --> 00:45:26,975 - ...uh-huh. - Hi. 965 00:45:27,184 --> 00:45:29,186 Now, everyone, this is the lady 966 00:45:29,395 --> 00:45:30,479 who has been helping us. 967 00:45:30,688 --> 00:45:32,439 This is, uh, my sister, 968 00:45:32,648 --> 00:45:35,526 my cousin, his wife, and their son. 969 00:45:36,110 --> 00:45:37,152 What's going on? 970 00:45:37,361 --> 00:45:38,654 They're paying us to crash here 971 00:45:38,862 --> 00:45:40,447 so we'll have some cash for the shelter. 972 00:45:40,656 --> 00:45:42,574 Oh, fuck! My chair! 973 00:45:42,783 --> 00:45:44,827 Ooh, sorry about that. 974 00:45:45,119 --> 00:45:46,995 Good thing it's an old chair, right? 975 00:46:13,313 --> 00:46:15,315 Hey. Sorry about last night. 976 00:46:15,524 --> 00:46:16,942 Something came up last minute, and I'm trying 977 00:46:17,151 --> 00:46:18,819 to juggle everything but it's snowballing and-- 978 00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:19,987 and I-- 979 00:46:20,654 --> 00:46:22,030 Hey. 980 00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:23,782 - Yeah. - It's snowballing. 981 00:46:23,991 --> 00:46:25,701 I had like 40 people show up to this meeting yesterday. 982 00:46:25,909 --> 00:46:27,244 Yeah, and I had 50 kids show up 983 00:46:27,453 --> 00:46:29,788 to a career symposium about being a paramedic. 984 00:46:29,997 --> 00:46:33,333 But...I guess since yours is about God, you win, right? 985 00:46:34,293 --> 00:46:36,170 - Hey, hey, Ian. - One second, guys. 986 00:46:36,962 --> 00:46:38,922 I'm helping people in need, same as you. 987 00:46:39,131 --> 00:46:40,924 Are you saying it's only cool when it's your idea? 988 00:46:41,425 --> 00:46:43,051 I don't ask a lot of you. 989 00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:45,846 This was one thing that was important to me. 990 00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:48,891 You know, maybe what you're doing is worth 991 00:46:49,099 --> 00:46:50,559 pissing off the people that care about you. 992 00:46:50,768 --> 00:46:51,685 That's fine. 993 00:46:51,894 --> 00:46:53,187 But don't insult me 994 00:46:53,395 --> 00:46:55,105 by acting like it's not happening. 995 00:47:09,077 --> 00:47:10,078 Hi. 996 00:47:10,454 --> 00:47:11,997 You didn't speak at the service. 997 00:47:12,748 --> 00:47:15,209 Uh, I was gonna, but... 998 00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:17,961 everything I was gonna say was already said. 999 00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:24,885 Sorry for your loss. 1000 00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:28,680 Yeah, I lost him a long time ago. 1001 00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:33,018 Still doesn't make it easy. 1002 00:47:34,269 --> 00:47:36,939 He was a good dad, just, um, 1003 00:47:37,356 --> 00:47:38,357 not to me. 1004 00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:40,984 I guess it's easier to be 1005 00:47:41,193 --> 00:47:43,153 kind to somebody who looks up to you. 1006 00:47:44,029 --> 00:47:44,863 Hey, um, 1007 00:47:46,907 --> 00:47:50,035 I found this going through his paperwork. 1008 00:47:50,494 --> 00:47:52,704 It's a draft of a recommendation letter. 1009 00:47:53,789 --> 00:47:55,374 Thought you might want it. 1010 00:48:17,729 --> 00:48:19,523 You know, in all of his years of teaching, 1011 00:48:19,773 --> 00:48:22,317 I never heard him talk about a student like that. 1012 00:48:24,361 --> 00:48:26,738 He says he's amazed by your mind. 1013 00:48:35,581 --> 00:48:36,957 You don't want to keep it? 1014 00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:42,629 Oh, I think I'm too angry to keep it. 1015 00:49:08,071 --> 00:49:09,156 Kass? 1016 00:49:09,615 --> 00:49:11,074 Where you at? 1017 00:49:11,867 --> 00:49:14,244 ♪♪ One, two, three, four, blowing down my door ♪♪ 1018 00:49:14,453 --> 00:49:16,705 - ♪♪ Five, six, seven, eight... ♪♪ - Babe? 1019 00:49:16,914 --> 00:49:18,749 Kass! 1020 00:49:21,293 --> 00:49:22,502 Oh! 1021 00:49:22,711 --> 00:49:24,838 You saved my life! 1022 00:49:25,047 --> 00:49:27,633 - You really do love me! - Yeah. 1023 00:49:27,841 --> 00:49:29,009 What time is it? 1024 00:49:29,843 --> 00:49:31,094 Like 4:00? 1025 00:49:31,303 --> 00:49:33,263 The County Clerk's office is open til 5:00. 1026 00:49:35,098 --> 00:49:37,601 ♪♪ Nothing's gonna stop me now ♪♪ 1027 00:49:46,860 --> 00:49:48,236 That your new chair? 1028 00:49:49,988 --> 00:49:51,448 Why's it over here? 1029 00:49:53,367 --> 00:49:56,203 So that the pile of assholes who are squatting in my apartment 1030 00:49:56,411 --> 00:49:58,038 won't destroy it. 1031 00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:02,834 Who aren't actually assholes. 1032 00:50:03,043 --> 00:50:04,169 They're just poor and broke 1033 00:50:04,378 --> 00:50:06,546 and taking advantage of the situation. 1034 00:50:07,047 --> 00:50:08,840 Just like I've done 100 times. 1035 00:50:10,509 --> 00:50:11,760 And they aren't squatting. 1036 00:50:11,969 --> 00:50:13,261 I told them that they could stay there. 1037 00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:20,519 Did you just get this pic from Kassidi? 1038 00:50:20,727 --> 00:50:21,728 Yeah. 1039 00:50:22,896 --> 00:50:24,398 "Birth, marriage, death." 1040 00:50:24,606 --> 00:50:26,066 What the hell is that? 1041 00:50:27,734 --> 00:50:29,486 - I think they got hitched. - What? 1042 00:50:29,695 --> 00:50:31,989 Yeah, I told him not to. 1043 00:50:32,197 --> 00:50:35,200 Not legally, right? She's, like, 15. 1044 00:50:41,456 --> 00:50:42,708 Hey. 1045 00:50:42,916 --> 00:50:44,751 Can I get a ride to this church? 1046 00:50:45,002 --> 00:50:48,463 Supposed to speak at this thing, and I don't know. 1047 00:50:48,672 --> 00:50:51,591 Kinda scared shitless. I mean... 1048 00:50:52,175 --> 00:50:53,385 I don't do speeches. 1049 00:50:55,053 --> 00:50:56,013 So don't do it. 1050 00:50:56,221 --> 00:50:58,306 Sorta feel like I have to. 1051 00:50:58,515 --> 00:51:00,434 Everyone thinks that I have something to say. 1052 00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:03,687 What if I don't? 1053 00:51:06,732 --> 00:51:08,734 When they're gone, they're gone, folks, so don't miss out. 1054 00:51:08,942 --> 00:51:11,111 All profits go to help gays across the planet. 1055 00:51:11,319 --> 00:51:13,238 Can you give me just one second? 1056 00:51:14,573 --> 00:51:16,450 Are we really gonna give all of our money to Ian? 1057 00:51:17,075 --> 00:51:18,368 No, of course not. 1058 00:51:18,869 --> 00:51:21,997 Thank you so much for waiting. Gay Jesus loves and blesses you. 1059 00:51:22,205 --> 00:51:24,124 Get your T-shirts here! Don't miss out, folks. 1060 00:51:24,332 --> 00:51:26,793 We're runnin' out. T-shirts. 1061 00:51:33,425 --> 00:51:35,427 Oh, shit. No wonder you're nervous. 1062 00:51:35,635 --> 00:51:37,846 Did you know that all these people were gonna be here? 1063 00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:39,681 - No. - Hey. 1064 00:51:39,931 --> 00:51:41,141 They all came for you. 1065 00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:43,143 Isn't this amazing? 1066 00:52:14,091 --> 00:52:17,094 So I just wanna start out by saying that I'm no hero. 1067 00:52:17,886 --> 00:52:20,180 I'm just a guy who keeps showing up 1068 00:52:20,388 --> 00:52:23,809 to these anti-gay churches and hearing shit like, 1069 00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:26,311 "God created man and woman. 1070 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,147 You either look like a man or a woman. 1071 00:52:29,356 --> 00:52:32,651 Don't...bring us any of your other shit." 1072 00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:36,113 So they're essentially saying, 1073 00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:38,490 "Don't make me work too hard 1074 00:52:38,824 --> 00:52:41,618 to see you on your own terms," right? 1075 00:52:43,537 --> 00:52:48,333 But we have the God-given right to be who we are. 1076 00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:51,044 Not who others want us to be. 1077 00:52:51,670 --> 00:52:53,880 So when they say shit like, 1078 00:52:54,089 --> 00:52:57,342 "Don't use fake words like 'nonbinary' 1079 00:52:57,551 --> 00:53:01,763 or 'gender-fluid,' 'cis-whatever,'" it's like... 1080 00:53:03,807 --> 00:53:05,934 Those are my terms, bitch. 1081 00:53:06,476 --> 00:53:07,894 Mm-hmm, yep. 1082 00:53:16,403 --> 00:53:17,821 Mm-hmm. 1083 00:53:19,906 --> 00:53:23,785 Which means we have to be so big, 1084 00:53:23,994 --> 00:53:25,162 so noisy... 1085 00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:27,372 that there's nowhere else to look. 1086 00:53:27,581 --> 00:53:31,042 And we do it in God's name because... 1087 00:53:32,836 --> 00:53:35,422 Because God hates haters. 1088 00:54:03,909 --> 00:54:05,785 I spotted 12 safety violations. 1089 00:54:05,994 --> 00:54:07,704 No wonder they pay so much. 1090 00:54:07,913 --> 00:54:09,331 I think I'm gonna bail. 1091 00:54:09,539 --> 00:54:11,249 I gotta stick it out. I need the cash. 1092 00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:12,083 Mm-hmm. 1093 00:54:12,292 --> 00:54:13,084 Hey, could you grab me a clip light? 1094 00:54:13,293 --> 00:54:14,252 Can barely see anything I'm doing. 1095 00:54:14,461 --> 00:54:15,253 Okay. 1096 00:54:23,261 --> 00:54:24,679 Debbie! 1097 00:54:26,681 --> 00:54:27,807 Call 911! 1098 00:54:38,151 --> 00:54:39,277 Hi. 1099 00:54:42,447 --> 00:54:44,032 This fucking day, man. 1100 00:54:44,241 --> 00:54:45,742 Find Svetlana a man? 1101 00:54:45,951 --> 00:54:47,369 No, she grabbed the guy's cock. 1102 00:54:51,206 --> 00:54:53,124 Is that a good thing or a bad thing? 1103 00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:55,710 Not taking her home to meet Mom. 1104 00:54:57,295 --> 00:54:59,130 Where you coming from? 1105 00:55:00,590 --> 00:55:01,925 Church. 1106 00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:04,302 Ian has a cult. 1107 00:55:04,761 --> 00:55:06,513 - A what? - Yeah. 1108 00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:09,182 They think he's Gay Jesus. 1109 00:55:10,100 --> 00:55:12,018 Looking for Fiona Gallagher. 1110 00:55:12,227 --> 00:55:13,144 That's me. 1111 00:55:13,770 --> 00:55:15,188 You've been served. 1112 00:55:22,404 --> 00:55:24,072 "As a result of one or more acts 1113 00:55:24,281 --> 00:55:26,992 by defendant L. Donner and defendant F. Gallagher, 1114 00:55:28,118 --> 00:55:30,287 plaintiff R. Latham has been injured, 1115 00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:32,580 damaged, and incapacitated." 1116 00:55:32,789 --> 00:55:34,582 Who the fuck is R. Latham? 1117 00:55:36,042 --> 00:55:37,252 Rodney. 1118 00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:38,670 The dude that fell off your roof? 1119 00:55:39,170 --> 00:55:40,046 He's suing you? 1120 00:55:40,255 --> 00:55:42,716 "Plaintiff demands judgment against defendants 1121 00:55:42,924 --> 00:55:45,135 in the sum of $6 million." 1122 00:55:47,345 --> 00:55:48,722 Motherfucker. 1123 00:55:49,264 --> 00:55:51,057 Motherfucker! 1124 00:56:04,988 --> 00:56:07,157 ♪♪ Whoa-oh ♪♪ 1125 00:56:07,365 --> 00:56:09,617 ♪♪ I'm the love he left you with ♪♪ 1126 00:56:12,287 --> 00:56:13,788 ♪♪ You sound bent out of shape ♪♪ 1127 00:56:14,706 --> 00:56:17,167 ♪♪ No blood can try to stop me now ♪♪ 1128 00:56:18,626 --> 00:56:21,129 ♪♪ My, my those lips, show me all your little tricks ♪♪ 1129 00:56:21,338 --> 00:56:24,758 ♪♪ Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop now ♪♪ 1130 00:56:25,759 --> 00:56:27,385 ♪♪ Uh-huh ♪♪