I'm raising five kids and I didn't miss last week.
What's your excuse?
Carl!
My son is in jail and it is your fault!
I told them it was Carl and I told Chucky to tell them it was Carl.
- Pack your shit and get out. - I hope they threw the book at Carl.
MPs, they're coming. They're coming to get me.
We gotta get you to a clinic, get meds.
How long do I need to take these for?
Thirty, 40 years.
- You're interested in critical theory? - Absolutely.
Come to my office later, I'll decide whether or not you can take my class.
THEO: Sweetheart. - That's my husband.
- Who's this? HELENE: This is Lip.
Hungry? How would you like your omelet?
I don't want you as my friend. I want you as my boyfriend.
Look at me. I'm nice, funny, smart...
...and I'd fuck up anyone that hurts you.
Start up the ice-cream truck again except, this time, without the truck.
- You okay? KEVIN: Yeah. Just sad.
Can you, uh, be sad and roll joints at the same time?
I hate that I hurt you, and I wanna make it right.
I need to get out, think a little.
I need a drink.
- What's the occasion? - Cancer.
Every day is an opportunity you don't get back.
Best two days of my life. Thanks to you.
Nicole is moving to Pittsburg.
- What about Will? - He's going with her.
- You don't get a say? - Not according to the state of Illinois.
Your PO say something?
Travel restrictions.
- For Pittsburg? - I can't leave.
[RAPPING] 12 gauge on my waist 'Bout to waste your cousin
Fade away in the fog You a memory, dawg
Remember you started this shit
But I'm gonna finish it, dawg...
It's not working. Sorry, man.
Fucking meds.
Yeah.
Could also be the toddler staring at us from the corner...
...or the jacked-up teenage girl down the hall.
Whatever.
Try again later, man.
All right, breakfast of champs.
We got your mood stabilizer, antipsychotic, antidepressant.
- Gatorade. - You're a fucking nurse now?
Shut the fuck up. Take your pills, bitch.
Hey, no caffeine. Not on your meds.
Hey. How you feeling?
- Not feeling. DEBBIE: It's an improvement.
At least you're not swinging baseball bats at my head. Heh.
Stinks in here.
- The milk went bad. DEBBIE: Nobody put it away?
That milk is part of the Gallagher household, of which I am no longer a member...
...and, therefore, not responsible.
Then why are you still here?
Apartment listings, calling around today.
DEBBIE: What's up with the faucet? - Guess nobody paid the water bill.
- I took a shower this morning. - They must have just shut it off.
Nobody made breakfast?
- What's it look like? DEBBIE: What about groceries?
When is the last time anyone went shopping?
Who melted my spatula?
That's fine, don't claim responsibility for anything.
- That's the Gallagher way. MICKEY: Fuck.
- I'm not eating that. MICKEY: Eat it.
Take all those pills on an empty stomach, you're gonna have diarrhea real bad.
I gotta poop.
Oh, so how do you like your crepes?
Savory or sweet?
Uh, no, you know, I'm still pretty stuffed from last night's dinner, so I'm okay.
THEO: It's no trouble. I love to cook.
Because I'm good at it.
We generally enjoy doing the things we're skilled at, right?
Uh, right.
So a new boy, huh? Hm.
You do look like a Schiele portrait.
- Good morning, Dr. Wallace. - Good morning, love.
- Hi. - Tea?
- Please. THEO: Mm.
- You're not eating? - No, no, I'm not really hungry. Ahem.
Theo makes a mean crepe.
Yeah, I gotta go to the library anyways, so...
- This must be strange for you. - A little bit, yeah. It's a little strange.
What can we do to make you more comfortable?
I'm not sure.
- You have questions? - No. Uh, no, not really.
Boundaries that you feel warrant discussion?
No. Uh, nothing I can think of.
Okay.
- Just let us know. - Sure.
And I'll be in my office this afternoon if you'd like to stop by.
- On a Saturday? - You have some catching up to do.
Let's start with Foucault's discursive regime, and we'll go from there.
Okay.
Uh, it was nice seeing you again, Dr. Wallace.
[HUMMING]
[KETTLE WHISTLES]
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, I taste throw-up.
Yeah, you puked about 3 a.m.
For a gal who's never been drunk or high before...
...you went at it hard. Here.
Tea is for the noggin, aspirin for the muscles, honey lemon for the tummy.
A little touch of bourbon, hair of the dog.
Did we have sex?
Oh.
No, I slept on the floor. I wanted to make you breakfast.
All I could find was old Chinese food and peanut butter.
- Yeah, I eat it off a spoon for dinner. - No wonder you got cancer. Come on.
Let's go grab a bite.
I know this dive-y joint that serves military-style shit on a shingle.
The greatest hangover remedy known to man.
Creamed chipped beef.
- Stop, out. - Yes. Let's go.
You, now.
What? Why?
Don't be ashamed.
You are downright luminous.
You need to go.
Oh, come on.
We had a blast. Didn't we?
You're my favorite dying person I've ever met.
Please.
Our chemistry is off the charts. Don't try to deny it.
- Okay, thank you for yesterday. - Hold on.
BIANCA: Good bye. - No. No, come on. We're just getting...
Hey, come on. You know what I'm talking about. Wait, just...
[DOOR CLOSES]
Goddamn it.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hey, I was just thinking about you.
Fun sexy stuff, or mean hurt-y stuff?
Uh... Uh, neither.
- Where are you? - I'm at your place...
...watering your plants...
...not smelling your shirt.
Heh. Which one?
Pere Ubu?
What? Say it again.
Fuck off.
It's... It's nice to hear your voice.
Yeah, you too.
How are you doing?
In general, or, like, about us?
Us.
Confused.
A little. You?
Same.
Where are you?
Uh, rest stop, somewhere in Assbutt, USA.
- Heh, nice. - I got a gig at a little college tonight.
- It should be fun. - Cool.
[HORN HONKING]
Oh, shit. Hey, the van is taking off. You wanna talk later?
We could Skype if you want.
I get in the dorms like 4:30 or 5. Try you then?
Okay.
I'll wear something nice.
Nice like hot nice?
Sure.
Do you wanna have Skype sex?
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I guess. It'd be fun.
It could be hot.
All right, look, I gotta run. We'll talk later.
Bye.
You're so damn adorable.
So are you, the adorablest.
You're an adora-babe.
[DEBBIE CHUCKLES]
Oh. I made you this.
It's from the parking lot where you saved me from getting my butt kicked.
I used nail polish instead of paint.
- I want you. - You have me.
- No, I wanna have sex with you. - Oh. Huh.
- Really? - Yeah.
Wow, that's awesome.
- Are you sure? - Totally.
Because the last time I did it, things got confusing.
I'm not confused.
- Are you? - No.
I'm happy.
- When? - Tonight.
Okay. Where?
Wherever you want.
Except my house. My parents don't let me have girls in my room.
We can do it at my house. Nobody cares what I do. Time?
After dinner. Come eat with us.
- We're doing barbecue. - Okay.
- Cool. - Cool.
[NURSERY RHYME PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS AND BABY CRYING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
MAN: Can you turn that crappy music down and tell those fucking babies to shut up!
Hey, watch your mouth, college boy. I got babies here.
[PHONE RINGING]
Just one little bite, come on. Just one little bite.
Hello.
One of my breast-pumpers' boobies dried up...
...so we'll be tight on funds until I find a replacement.
You know what? I hooked up with some cheap-ass herb the other day...
...so I'll try to move it quick.
Oh, and Gemma, I don't know, but she had a little sniffle earlier.
I think she's sick.
Can you use that nasal aspirator on her before she goes to bed tonight?
Will do.
MAN: Dude, I gotta study.
- Oh, it sounds like you have your hands full. - Yeah, kind of. I gotta go.
- Okay. - All right, talk soon.
[BABY CRYING AND MAN KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Come on, bro, I was up all night, man.
They slept horribly too, you know.
The guy next door screams like a Polish grandma when he comes.
Why'd you bring them here?
Where else am I supposed to bring them? I live here. It's only one night a week.
- Are you even a student? - Not exactly.
I'm more like a refugee who sells weed.
Drug dealers don't get to live on campus.
Oh, yeah? Where does it say that?
Hey, Charlie Brown, go fuck yourself.
- Linus is the one with the blanket. - Well, they both can suck dicks.
- They're talking about turning your ass in. - Oh, are they, now?
Okay.
Okay, I'll just pack my shit and go.
Yeah. Oh, wait a minute.
What am I supposed to do with all these dime bags...
...I was gonna sell for half price for the next 10 minutes?
STUDENT 1: Cheap weed!
STUDENT 2: Cheap weed down here!
- Five bucks for a dime bag? STUDENT 3: I want some.
Thin walls.
- Here you go, 5 bucks. STUDENT 2: Here you go.
No, no, no. No weapons in juvie.
DEBBIE: Pop Rocks and Fire Ants.
I figured Carl could use them for self-defense.
FIONA: Is that a thing?
DEBBIE: Who knows.
I wanna go to Planned Parenthood today. I need you to come with.
For the pill?
- I thought that messed with your training. - It's whatever.
Are you and Derek having sex?
Not yet.
Why rush? I mean, it's been what, a few weeks?
I want to. It's my body, it's my decision.
Debs.
I've been dating him longer than you even knew Gus before you got married.
- I'll make an appointment. - Thanks.
Oh, FYI, water got shut off. You should probably pay the bill.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
[CLATTERING]
[MUFFLED SOUNDS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
[FOOD SIZZLING]
Fuck!
Are you okay, man?
IAN: Yeah, yeah. KEIKO: Damn.
Take this.
How'd that happen?
Yo, you need me to get you the first aid kit?
Why are women such capricious devils?
Is it simple biology?
You get emotional whiplash from all the hairpin hormonal turns?
- Harder, baby. Yeah. - Okay, okay, yeah.
Or are they just trying so hard to lean in and have it all?
They lose sight of their own humanity.
- Right there. - Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Or, fuck, what if evolutionarily...
...they're programmed to hold on to the past...
...in order to educate the offspring about the perils of going out with...?
Jesus.
- Don't. Wait, wait. You're stopping? - Yes, Captain Perceptive.
I bought you a boilermaker.
You'd have to buy me 10 to suffer through that.
You gotta help me to get this woman out of my system.
Well, go stick your dick in an ice-cream cake and nurture your inner child.
I'm not your fucking therapist.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Trust a woman to do a man's job...
[POP MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
The water got shut off.
We gotta use your bathroom.
I paid the fucking bill, but it takes two days for them to turn it back on.
You look pretty.
Having Skype sex with Gus later.
This distance thing is bullshit.
VERONICA: This is the longest I've gone without seeing Kev since I met him.
- About to burst into flames. - You guys talk about anything yet?
Sure. "How was Gemma's tummy time? When did Amy's hiccups stop?"
You stuff, I mean. Like what you both want from each other.
I want the old Kev back.
The one who looked at me like the world stopped spinning.
He's there. He's just preoccupied.
Okay, ladies, listen up.
- I need help. - That's my cue.
Let's go. Poop time.
This woman is just tearing me up. I just can't shake her.
Why are you a country song?
I treated her with respect and she shat me out like yesterday's cheesesteak.
The only thing you ever treated with respect had a label and the word "proof" on it.
Wait.
- Is this that doctor from the other day? - Maybe.
What's the scam?
What kind of a man you think I am?
There's always a scam, Frank.
All right, yes, I'm very good at sticking it to the man.
But this woman, I don't wanna stick anything to her, except myself.
She won't let me.
Why would anybody wanna be with you?
Well, why wouldn't they?
Chlamydia and herpes, for starts.
Poor hygiene, alcoholism, lack of a moral compass...
Fine. But my good qualities vastly outweigh my bad ones.
Name one.
- A lust for adventure, a bottomless libido... - Jesus.
I show up with drugs, companionship, pro bono sex.
What more could a dying woman want?
This is for real?
How the hell should I know?
Make it like the world stops spinning when you look at her.
I tried that, it didn't work.
What else you got?
Well, thanks, people.
Hm.
You were a big fucking help.
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
Hey. Hey.
What the hell is going on out there?
I don't know. Saturday, I guess. Ahem.
Look at you, all studious in here. Get your tuition sorted?
Yeah, I'm on all rosters and fully matriculated.
- How'd you pull that off? - Deus ex machina, as they say.
AMANDA: Hm.
And how's the lovely Miss Muff Bulldagger?
Fiery and full of lust...
...like a coked-up Amish teenager.
- That sounds exhausting. - Oh, you have no idea.
I'm thinking of going strictly dickly for a while.
You free later?
Uh, no, actually, I, uh, got this thing.
- Um, a school thing or a sex thing? - Um...
- Uh, both. - Meaning?
I kind of got this situation with one of my professors.
- Oh-oh. Which class? - It's crit theory.
Professor Wallace.
Yeah, yeah. Her and her hubby, they have this agreement...
...you know, they're evolved.
- Okay, wait. Her husband? - Yeah. Yeah, it's actually... It's kind of great.
So you're having a relationship with a married woman?
No, no. No, no, it's not a relationship. Uh...
We just... We hang out.
Uh, she shows me art and stuff.
- Mm. Are you falling for her? - No.
I'm just having fun.
Well, then ditch her and come play naked Go Fish with me.
I would. Um...
I got all this shit to do.
No prob.
I'll see you around.
Okay.
Oh, P.S., I need my car back at some point.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
[STUDENT SCREAMS]
Oh, God, I'm tripping out, man.
Hey, are you okay, man?
I love God and icebergs.
What the fuck's wrong with him?
That trip-weed your friend sold us.
It wasn't normal shit. It was synthetic marijuana, dildo.
Laced with all sorts of crap that makes you lose your mind.
Oh, God.
What happened to your hand?
- I burned myself. - Hold on.
- That's our lamp. - It's ugly. No one uses it.
Come here.
Come on.
[PATS CHAIR]
I'm not gonna bite.
- Did you run it under cool water? - No.
Well, then you are shit out of luck in this house, no water.
Ooh.
Gonna have a nice fat scar.
That's the one I got in the Army.
How'd you get that one?
I tried to hotwire a helicopter, burned myself on the starter.
- You can hotwire a helicopter? - Not very good, apparently.
I got caught trying to steal government property...
...and that's why the MPs are after me.
Well, that and going AWOL.
And enlisting under a false identity and maybe other stuff.
Wow, pretty hardcore.
No, just mentally ill.
God, this place brings back memories.
You've been here before?
Monica brought me here when I needed to go on the pill.
She was completely strung out on E.
She offered to give my doctor a blowjob.
- A female doctor. DEBBIE: How is that possible?
Well, obviously, she didn't get very far.
The doctor was pretty butch, honest mistake.
Everything looks good.
I'm gonna set you up on some starter pills.
Great, thanks.
Now, hold up a second, because this is no joke.
These don't begin to work for 48 hours.
So if you plan to have intercourse before then, you must use alternate protection.
- Okay. - I'll get those pills.
- Really? - They're free.
[RATTLES DOOR KNOB THEN KNOCKS ON DOOR]
KEVIN: Jesus. STUDENT: Amazing.
- What the fuck is wrong with these kids? - The weed you sold them called Spice.
KEVIN: That was Spice?
Oh, no wonder I got a discount.
This can last for hours. We need to keep everybody in the room.
Can you go sweep the hall, check for any stragglers?
- Got it. - You find any unopened bags, toss them.
- If you have any left, get rid of it, all right? - Yeah, all right, captain.
[STUDENT GRUNTING]
It's gotta be a metaphor for something.
This was the only straggler. He's trying to find a portal.
All right, close the door and lock it, yeah?
I am made of fire.
Look, if we call 911, we go to jail. I mean, we could both go to jail.
- Why? We didn't force them to do anything. - A tiny floating sun.
- They made grownup decisions. - Most of these kids are minors.
JOAQUIN: Swirling ball of hot gases.
- I can fly. LIP: Hey.
- What the fuck? JOAQUIN: Oh, shit.
- I think I broke my rhinoceros. KEVIN: Ha-ha.
FRANK: Goddamn it!
The one day all year I gotta shower, the water's off.
Give me your deodorant.
- Ran out. - Well, of course you did.
Why would anyone in this house make things easy on me?
[SNIFFS THEN SPRAYS]
It's no substitute for cleanliness, but this will have to do.
I have to scrub my junk at the Citgo.
Wish me luck.
Good luck scrubbing your junk.
Not with my junk, I'amour.
You're a dumb-ass, you know that?
Hey. I didn't know which B's to get, so I just got all the fucking B's.
I got B-complex, super B-complex, B12, B6.
Whoa.
What the hell happened to your hand? Hey.
What are you doing?
I'm going out.
- Did a doctor take care of that? - Come on, Mickey.
You can't go anywhere unless you get that looked at.
Okay, listen.
Either you can stay here and jerk off into your vitamins...
...or you can come with me.
It's your call.
[DIALING]
WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Yes? - Frank Gallagher.
Jesus.
Hey. Hey!
You must be the homeless guy.
I have a home, intermittently.
- Who the hell are you? - Bianca's sister.
Party's over, asshole.
Go crawl back to your mattress beneath the overpass and leave the sick girl alone.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have no idea who you're dealing with, lady.
I am indefatigable.
I take yes for an answer.
I am tough as a buzzard.
Just you watch me.
[GRUNTS]
Motherfuck...
Open your fucking window!
Open the window!
I can't offer you much.
But what I can do is be your chauffer on the limousine ride to the pearly gates.
- My what? - I know how it feels...
...to live like you're gonna die tomorrow. I've been there.
I'll make each day feel like a wild ride through the heart of the rapids at midnight.
If you wanna squeeze every last drop...
...of gratification out of this world before you croak...
- ...I'm your man. - Frank...
FRANK: Stick with me, woman...
...and you will not go gentle into that good night.
ELIZABETH: Bianca.
Come on.
FRANK: Oh, great.
Cock-blocking Laura Bush.
Fine.
You see this bottle of vodka?
I'm gonna sit over there and I'm gonna sip it.
If you don't join me by the time I'm done, consider my offer revoked.
- What time is it? - Just after 5.
Okay, listen, I know that you're not being intentionally rude...
- It's an emergency. Get your husband. - What's the matter?
[JOAQUIN YELLING]
Hey, hey.
Come on.
Easy.
[GRUNTING]
Jesus. What happened?
[FIONA SIGHS]
Hey, it's me.
Um, the house is quiet...
...computer is on...
...I'm wearing my lacy green thong.
Hit me back.
[SIGHS]
[LINE RINGS]
Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
I'm supposed to be having hot Skype sex with my husband, but he's MIA.
SEAN: Tragic. What else?
FIONA: I cleaned the house...
...which was in shambles because that bitch that claims to be my older sister...
...has been boycotting her domestic duties.
Oh, and I had to take Debbie to get fucking birth control today.
- Holy shit. I'm glad I have a son. - How's he doing?
His mom called. Wanted to pick him up early, found an earlier flight.
He's just packing up some of the crap I keep around here for him, toys and stuff.
Oh, no. When's she coming?
In like 15 minutes.
Had to step outside just to ke... Just to keep my shit together.
Do you want me to come over?
- No, I'm good. - You don't sound it.
Yeah, well, I don't have a choice.
Hey, you know, I gotta go.
[JOAQUIN GRUNTING]
- Where is he? HELENE: Who?
- Your husband, the doctor. - That's why you brought this boy here?
- Yeah, I thought he could help. - He's a doctor of theology, not medicine.
Fuck! What were you doing in there?
I called 911 . Hang tight, honey. They're sending an ambulance.
LIP: Come here, come here, come here.
- Why did you do that? - What did you expect me to do?
LIP: He's on drugs, okay? - Aah!
He'd get kicked out of school. My friend who sold him the drugs...
...he's staying illegally in the dorms. He could go to jail. He's got three kids.
This boy is suffering. He needs help.
- No. - Regardless of the consequences.
- I gotta cover their asses. - Why?
South Side rules.
You know what? Drop the whole noble-thug shtick.
You're covering your own ass and you know it.
You know, you have a choice right now...
...to recognize that you are a promising young college student...
...not some ghetto outlaw.
Stop behaving like the world is out to get you...
...when it is so clearly dropping gifts at your feet.
Or you keep doing what you're doing and you end up in a cell...
...angry and out of options.
No one at the Kmart knows about my baloney.
HELENE: You know what? Go back to your dorm.
If the paramedics ask questions, I'll say I walked out and he was here.
- Just help me move him. - Are you sure?
Come on. Okay, you have any neck or back pain?
- No. HELENE: Give me your hand.
- Come on. HELENE: Okay, come on.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
They're gonna feel weird at first.
You're not gonna be able to tie your shoes, put on jewelry, type on the computer...
...but you'll get used to it. Coins are the worst.
Try it.
Damn, Derek, your girl's quick.
She's a straight-A student too.
Is that right?
- I like school. Heh. TANYA: Me too.
Well, I used to anyways.
I had to drop out because of Miles.
Ever wish you could go back?
No.
That little munchkin is the light of my life, and this family.
When Jake went into the Army, they took me in and loved me like their own.
- But you're not Derek's sister? - I call her that because she's like a sister.
But Jake's my actual bro.
I don't get along with my family.
My dad's in prison.
My mom's a drunk.
I wanted so bad to belong to something warm and whole like these guys.
Nine months later, I am.
I was in.
- So you chose your own family? - Kind of.
Though I like to think that Miles chose all of us.
Hey, give me the bag.
Oh.
Jesus, haven't been here since that time we banged.
Let's do some pull-ups.
Your hand, man.
I'm out of shape.
- Shotgun. - No, no, look.
You're not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood toxic...
...and gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You can't...
Ow! What the fuck, Ian?
I'm sick of your whiny pussy crap.
I don't need a fucking caretaker, all right?
I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of South Side trash I fell for.
- Where is he? Where is he, Mickey? - Fuck you!
Fuck me for giving a shit.
Give all the shits you want, but the next time my dick is limp from all the meds...
...don't go all, "Oh, it's okay, wah, wah." Just suck it harder, you faggot.
You motherfucker!
[GRUNTING]
Suck a dick!
[BOTH COUGHING]
[MICKEY BELCHES]
[MICKEY LAUGHS]
First time I felt anything since, uh...
You know, you're a fucking wet rat.
- Take your fucking jacket off. - Ah, watch it.
Here we go. I'm gonna throw it in the trunk.
Fiona, right? Hey.
- You are so great to help Sean through this. FIONA: Of course, we're buddies.
I really hate doing this to them, but I need the job.
It's got benefits and paid vacations.
Okay, punk, say goodbye to Daddy.
SEAN: I love you.
It's only like three months, all right?
[PHONE RINGING]
Won't be too bad.
Watch your fingers.
Be careful, huh?
Not the first place I would hit for a booze-free night.
Why not?
Great jukebox, surly bartenders, cork dartboard.
It's nirvana. Drink your Coke.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
How you doing?
You keep asking me that.
- You keep not answering. - I've said I'm fine. A lot.
- I don't believe you. - You don't have to. It's not your job.
It doesn't have to be my job.
You make it your job though, it's what you do.
- You mean with my family? - Yeah, with everyone in your family.
Jackie, your husband kind-of-not-really or whatever.
Because I give a shit.
Because when you focus on other people's problems...
- ...it's a lot easier to ignore your own. - What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing. It's just some NA bullshit.
I'm here because I like you, asshole.
You know, it's as if no one has ever said no to you, and you can't stand it.
Now, you wait until your target's vulnerable, then you pounce.
- What are you talking about? - Tell me what you're here for.
- I just did. - Right. You're worried.
Has nothing to do with the fact that I wouldn't fuck you months ago?
Okay, if you're in a shitty place...
...and you feel like you gotta lash out, I get that, but I am not the enemy here...
...so back the fuck off.
You heard the lady. She doesn't wanna go home with you.
- Mind your business, dumb-ass. - Did you just call me a dumb-ass?
Bartender, can you serve this melon-head some IQ points?
FIONA: Sean. SEAN: What?
You got a real mouth on you, pal.
Most humans with a face do.
Why don't you go on back and keep banging your buddy? I'm busy.
Oh, shit! Okay. Okay.
Hey! Hey!
Fuck, stop. Stop!
Stop. Stop.
Come on. Hey, stop.
Stop. Hey, stop. Stop.
Stop.
[SEAN GROANING]
You okay?
[LAUGHING]
Ow.
- This is funny? SEAN: No.
Ah, he got me good.
You wanted to get your ass kicked?
[GROANS]
Yeah.
Yeah, kind of. Let's just get out of here.
- Oh. MAN: Fuck off, asshole. Get out of here.
[DOOR OPENS]
KEVIN: Jesus Christ.
Took long enough. Are we good? No cops?
No. No, not yet.
Bullet dodged. Hey, man, that shit was fucking crazy.
How's the sun god?
I don't know. I'm gonna go check on him later.
[KEVIN CHUCKLES]
- Uh, listen, there's something... - I know what you're gonna say.
And I got it. From now on, clean bud only. I'm gonna do quality control myself.
Yeah, no, no, it's just, uh...
- You know, I got my tuition covered now. - That's awesome.
Yeah, yeah, so I don't really need this, uh, extra income.
So, what, I can keep your cut?
Fucking awesome, man. So cool of you to let me crash here...
- ...when you ain't getting nothing out of it. - That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Oh, shit, what?
You're kicking me out?
Kind of.
- For good? - Kind of.
It was a minor mistake. It won't happen again.
I know. And I'm sorry.
You asked me to come out here and sell drugs, I was doing my job.
This place means something to me.
- Good. - Okay? I don't wanna screw that up.
Can I crash here and not sell weed?
You're just gonna keep boning coeds until somebody reports us?
I don't have to bone anyone.
But, you know, people like me here. I can be everybody's big bro.
They can come to me for real-world advice.
Like, uh, gangster shit, crabs.
- I got nowhere else to go. - Then go home.
You can hang with your kids. You can make up with your wife. It's time.
ELIZABETH: I do.
- I don't know how you can be so selfish. BIANCA: Elizabeth, don't... Don't leave.
- You're not gonna... - So selfish.
BIANCA: Come on, how can you say I'm...?
Call me, okay?
FRANK: What'd you do to her?
[BIANCA LAUGHS]
I told her I wasn't interested in chemo, over and over and over.
[BIANCA EXHALES]
Oh, I've literally never been this tired in my life.
It's not body tired, it's like...
...a psychic exhaustion...
...like I'm carrying the weight of this bloated irony.
"Woman dedicates practice to saving lives.
Can't save her own."
That is a cosmic fuck-you.
My family keeps telling me to fight, stay strong, be brave.
It's all battle language.
I've seen what chemo does to a body. It's not a battle, it's a lost cause.
But truthfully, I am fighting...
...for my goddamn dignity.
Why can't they see that?
For whatever it's worth, I think you're pretty brave.
- Ah, you don't know me. At all. - I know.
- I have a shelf life. - I am aware.
Then why are you doing this?
I'm not exactly sure.
[LAUGHS]
But I will never, ever ask you to do chemo.
Ugh.
Okay.
- What about "think healing thoughts"? - Nope.
- Or say, "You can beat this." - Nope.
- Or tell me how much you love me. - No fucking way.
Thank God.
Let's go get tattoos.
You sure your family doesn't mind if we have sex here?
We could have sex on the kitchen table while they eat. Nobody cares.
DEREK: That's crazy. - Yeah, this is not a normal family.
Took me a while to figure that out.
I love yours. I love you too, I think.
- Uh, heh, really? - I think so.
- That's so sweet. You're the sweetest. - Thanks. Heh.
Hm. How am I gonna get dressed every morning?
You have to call me to come over and help.
- Every day? - Sure, why not?
What about now?
You ready?
Oh, we don't need that. I'm on the pill.
Okay. Cool.
Well, the swelling's going down.
- You can just tell people you got hit by a bus. - Yeah, good thinking. Oh.
- Oh, easy. - Yeah, I know, it's...
There's something about intense pain...
...makes everything else come into focus.
I bet there's better ways to get that.
Drugs.
I'm kidding.
[LAUGHING]
You're acting exactly like I was acting...
...when you called me a chaos junkie and said you didn't want to be with me.
Yeah. Well, I don't doubt it.
I appreciate the patch up, but I'm good. You can go now.
- Pfft. No way. - No, seriously.
Thanks for the company. You're great, but you can't babysit me forever.
- I wasn't planning on forever. - How long were you planning on?
Until I feel like you're not gonna head to Maypole...
- ...and kill Patrick the second I leave. - What if you never feel like that?
I'm not gonna leave until I know you're okay. I'm sorry.
Heh-heh. Fiona, I'm not... I'm not okay.
[SEAN GRUNTS]
I'm never gonna be okay.
It's a sickness.
It's permanent.
Nod. Nod if you understand.
Thank you.
Go home.
LIP: Hey.
Hey, man.
- How you feeling? - I'm doped up on a bunch of stuff.
Heck, it could be worse.
The guy they brought in before me...
...he had his dick chopped off by his wife in his sleep.
Shit.
So I'd say I'm doing pretty well, comparatively speaking.
Yeah.
- How bad's the leg? - It's a clean break.
Doctor said it will heal in 10 weeks.
You know, my mom's coming in from Texas.
- Oh, yeah? Is she freaking out? - No.
I broke my other leg when I was 15. She's been through it before.
Hey, listen, man, did anybody come and ask you anything?
Oh, the cops came by.
They wanted to know where I got the drugs.
- Right. - I told them your buddy sold them to me.
- Oh, you did? - Yeah.
What was I supposed to do? I don't wanna go to jail.
You know, they said he could get 40 to life.
Also, they're arresting his babies for not shutting the fuck up.
- Heh-heh-heh. LIP: Fuck you. Oh.
- You should have seen your face. - Yeah, you got me.
Cops here gotta deal with dickless chumps and gunshot wounds.
They don't care about some idiot who got stoned and fell out of a window.
Right, right, right.
Thank you.
For what?
Well, you know, for not ratting us out.
It's all good.
Hey, where I come from, we got each other's backs.
[BOTH SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
BOTH [SINGING]: Heartache to heartache
- We stand - We stand
Stand
- No promises, no demands - No promises, no demands
Yeah!
- 'Cause love is a battlefield - Love is a battlefield
Whoo!
You got fucking trashed off one beer, bitch.
Yeah, I know, finally something good about this fucking disease.
- Holy shit, I just realized something. - What's up?
- We've never actually been on a real date. - Bullshit.
I'm serious. Like a date where you sit down and you go to a nice restaurant...
...and put on a nice shirt and you, like, eat with utensils.
- You wanna do that? - Yeah, why not?
Like a Sizzler's?
- Sure. - You mean now?
Now, before I sober up and get all fucking weird again. Come on.
All right. Can I borrow a fucking shirt then, please?
- Yeah, you can borrow a shirt. - Good.
BOTH [SINGING]: 'Cause love is a battlefield
IAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
[MICKEY LAUGHS]
- Hi, Ian. - Hey.
- We're going on a date. - Fuck yes, we are.
I'm gonna get a steak so rare it's gonna scream when I bite it. Like:
BOTH: Mm.
Listen, Ian. I want you to know you are a really good kid with a big heart.
You have some hard times ahead of you, but you're gonna do great.
- Okay. - Gentlemen.
This is Ian Gallagher.
I think they're ready to take him to jail now.
Why, Sammi?
MICKEY: Get the fuck off of him!
Get off me, you son of a bitch.
IAN: Aah! Aah! MAN 1: Don't move.
MAN 2: Behind your back. - Aah!
MAN 1: You're good? MAN 2: Yeah.
MAN 1: Don't move.
You bitch!
Fuck.
- Aah! MICKEY: You can't just drag him...
- ...out of his house. - What's going on?
He's sick, for fuck's sake! Where are you taking him?
FIONA: Hey, hey. MICKEY: Where are you taking him?
Tell me where the fuck you're taking him. He didn't do anything.
It's a shame when someone you love gets taken away...
...isn't it?
[DOOR CLOSES]
[English - US - SDH]