1
00:00:00,877 --> 00:00:04,513
Last week on Shameless,
this is what we were doing:
2
00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:06,015
Your house is
Frank's wet dream.
3
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,816
Never gonna get him out.
4
00:00:07,851 --> 00:00:09,018
EDDIE: Turns out
I can't afford
5
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,619
to live somewhere else
and support you two.
6
00:00:10,653 --> 00:00:11,854
Why can't you stay
with Uncle Ray?
7
00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:14,023
When I get back, I want the new
stock shelved with all the
8
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,657
labels facing
the same direction.
9
00:00:15,692 --> 00:00:17,226
We're gonna have a whole
night together to celebrate.
10
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:18,660
This is your house...
11
00:00:18,695 --> 00:00:19,928
where you live with Linda
and the kids.
12
00:00:19,963 --> 00:00:21,363
I'm gay, dude, not queer.
13
00:00:21,398 --> 00:00:23,532
Five hundred and
eight-seven dollars.
14
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:26,502
I'm taking the PSAT's for some
Polish kid over in Ridgedale?
15
00:00:26,536 --> 00:00:28,003
I told Richie that
your rates went up.
16
00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:29,038
So he's giving you $150.
17
00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:31,006
See you in three hours.
Be out in two.
18
00:00:34,444 --> 00:00:36,578
I am going to a wedding today.
19
00:00:36,613 --> 00:00:38,547
I am really gonna do it
this time.
20
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:39,915
You're coming, Mom?
21
00:00:39,949 --> 00:00:42,985
I'll just get you
a piece of cake, Mom.
22
00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:44,987
That would just be...
23
00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:56,560
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
24
00:00:59,636 --> 00:01:02,871
♪ Think of all
the luck you got ♪
25
00:01:02,906 --> 00:01:05,607
♪ Know that it's not
for naught ♪
26
00:01:05,642 --> 00:01:09,044
♪ You were beaming once before ♪
27
00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:13,348
♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪
28
00:01:13,383 --> 00:01:16,919
♪ What is this downside ♪
29
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:20,222
♪ That you speak of? ♪
30
00:01:20,256 --> 00:01:25,227
♪ What is this feeling
you're so sure of? ♪
31
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:37,106
♪ Round up the friends you got ♪
32
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:40,476
♪ Know that they're
not for naught ♪
33
00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:43,412
♪ You were willing once before ♪
34
00:01:43,446 --> 00:01:47,816
♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪
35
00:01:47,851 --> 00:01:51,253
♪ What is this downside ♪
36
00:01:51,287 --> 00:01:54,957
♪ That you speak of? ♪
37
00:01:54,991 --> 00:01:57,059
♪ What is this feeling ♪
38
00:01:57,093 --> 00:02:00,562
♪ You're so...
sure of? ♪
39
00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:05,334
(faucet running,
radio broadcast plays quietly)
40
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,190
(quietly):
Mm.
41
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,895
(quietly):
Mm.
44
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,011
Smoothie.
Thanks.
45
00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:51,113
Hello, Liam.
46
00:02:51,147 --> 00:02:53,182
How you doin', huh?
47
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,817
(Debbie sighs)
48
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:58,287
Didn't Fiona tell you
to stop electrocuting dolls?
49
00:02:58,321 --> 00:03:01,123
They have to pay for their sins.
50
00:03:05,828 --> 00:03:07,663
(passionate breathing)
51
00:03:07,697 --> 00:03:09,264
You almost there?
52
00:03:09,299 --> 00:03:11,233
What?
I got to make lunches.
53
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:12,968
Oh, tell me more.
54
00:03:13,002 --> 00:03:15,337
Well, first
I cut off the crusts...
55
00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:18,674
- Uh-huh. - ...and then I put
the apple slices in a baggie...
56
00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:21,510
Oh, don't stop.
57
00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:23,445
(whispers):
You look amazing.
58
00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:24,613
Hurry up.
59
00:03:24,647 --> 00:03:26,748
I don't want to go before you.
60
00:03:26,783 --> 00:03:28,884
I already had a couple.
61
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,553
You didn't make a sound.
62
00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:34,523
Big family; thin walls.
63
00:03:34,557 --> 00:03:35,958
When you consider
how humans evolved,
64
00:03:35,992 --> 00:03:38,627
they were probably used
to mating in public.
65
00:03:38,661 --> 00:03:41,697
But one day a pioneer that
really wanted to get freaky...Steve...
66
00:03:41,731 --> 00:03:43,031
What? What?
Steve, I'm late.
67
00:03:43,066 --> 00:03:44,299
Focus.
68
00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:46,301
(both panting)
69
00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:51,073
Damn it! Carl!
70
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,741
CARL:
It's not me!
71
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,810
Hector's at the pole again!
72
00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,678
Hector!
73
00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:00,215
Hey, Hector...
74
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,383
is there any way
that you could...
75
00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:02,784
I can't this time, Fiona.
76
00:04:02,819 --> 00:04:04,353
It's the third red notice
this year. I'm sorry.
77
00:04:04,387 --> 00:04:07,055
Not the first time we got
shut off; won't be the last.
78
00:04:07,090 --> 00:04:09,024
Is there any way that you can
scrape the money together today?
79
00:04:09,058 --> 00:04:10,025
We have it.
80
00:04:10,059 --> 00:04:11,426
She just forgot to pay it.
81
00:04:11,461 --> 00:04:14,830
I took an extra shift yesterday,
and I just spaced it.
82
00:04:14,864 --> 00:04:16,265
Call my cell phone
when you pay it,
83
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,899
I'll swing back at
the end of the day.
84
00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:19,935
Thanks, Hector.
85
00:04:22,071 --> 00:04:24,706
(sighs)
86
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:28,076
"Arts and Leisure"?
So I can read about
87
00:04:28,111 --> 00:04:31,680
pagan-worshipping actors
complaining about how America sucks?
88
00:04:31,714 --> 00:04:34,349
I'll stick to my steroid-riddled
athletes, thank you.
89
00:04:34,384 --> 00:04:35,851
So...
90
00:04:35,885 --> 00:04:37,352
what's the verdict?
91
00:04:37,387 --> 00:04:40,355
The banana and blueberry are spectacular.
Oh!
92
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:42,691
KAREN: So good, Mom.
Really?
93
00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:49,931
So, tonight we are going
to go off the beaten path.
94
00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:51,199
We are going
95
00:04:51,234 --> 00:04:52,834
to have...
96
00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:54,603
Hungarian night.
97
00:04:54,637 --> 00:04:56,672
All right? We're gonna have hurka
FRANK: Mm!
98
00:04:56,706 --> 00:04:59,074
and toltott tojas
and rakott krumpli!
99
00:04:59,108 --> 00:05:02,477
Guaranteed to exit your colon
at the speed of sound.
100
00:05:02,512 --> 00:05:03,512
Huh!
101
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,248
Mom...
102
00:05:06,282 --> 00:05:07,783
it's Parents Night
at school tonight.
103
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:11,520
Right.
104
00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:12,821
Right. I will be
there, sweetie.
105
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:13,855
I've been working
106
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,924
towards that.
107
00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:18,694
That's right, I have it
right on my calendar.
108
00:05:18,728 --> 00:05:20,929
I circled it.
I've just been, I've just been
109
00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:22,964
busy, busy, but I will be there.
110
00:05:22,999 --> 00:05:26,101
Dad, will you join us
at Parents Night tonight?
111
00:05:26,135 --> 00:05:27,769
Me?
112
00:05:27,804 --> 00:05:29,037
Not you, fuckface.
113
00:05:29,072 --> 00:05:30,806
I was talking to Daddy Frank.
114
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,041
Daddy Frank, will you come?
115
00:05:33,076 --> 00:05:35,243
Oh... no, no,
116
00:05:35,278 --> 00:05:36,778
ladies...
I don't do school.
117
00:05:36,813 --> 00:05:39,314
We all have our phobias,
and school is mine.
118
00:05:39,349 --> 00:05:40,415
All of it.
119
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:41,783
Textbooks full of falsehoods,
120
00:05:41,818 --> 00:05:42,884
teachers' unions
121
00:05:42,919 --> 00:05:44,519
full of thugs,
122
00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:46,088
and tenured imbeciles
123
00:05:46,122 --> 00:05:48,724
who still use words
like "irregardless."
124
00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:49,825
Not for me.
125
00:05:49,859 --> 00:05:50,892
However,
126
00:05:50,927 --> 00:05:53,428
the crepes... merci.
127
00:05:53,463 --> 00:05:56,131
Uh, regarding dinner,
why not just move it up,
128
00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:57,466
do the Hungarian thing
129
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,734
at 5:00?
130
00:05:58,768 --> 00:06:00,669
What do you say?
131
00:06:00,703 --> 00:06:01,837
Well, think it over. Whatever.
132
00:06:01,871 --> 00:06:03,805
I'll be back before 5:00.
I got a meeting.
133
00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:07,743
SHEILA:
Karen? Sweetie?
134
00:06:07,777 --> 00:06:09,478
I'm gonna be there, okay?
135
00:06:09,512 --> 00:06:10,746
I have a session today.
136
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:11,980
I'm gonna have a breakthrough,
137
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:13,281
I can see it.
138
00:06:13,316 --> 00:06:16,251
(scoffing, snickering):
Yeah, come on...
139
00:06:16,285 --> 00:06:18,286
KAREN:
Keep laughing,
140
00:06:18,321 --> 00:06:20,088
and I will slit your throat
while you sleep.
141
00:06:22,725 --> 00:06:24,726
(knocking on door)
I'm coming.
142
00:06:26,963 --> 00:06:28,597
Warren.
Debbie.
143
00:06:28,631 --> 00:06:30,632
Lip upstairs?
Yeah.
144
00:06:33,636 --> 00:06:35,337
FIONA:
Carl, eat.
145
00:06:35,371 --> 00:06:36,805
Don't organize, okay?
After you eat them,
146
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:38,206
they all end up
in the same place.
147
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:39,541
Who was at the door?
148
00:06:39,575 --> 00:06:41,276
DEBBIE:
Warren for Lip.
149
00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,778
Don't worry about
the ketchup and stuff.
150
00:06:42,812 --> 00:06:45,213
Just the milk and the meat.
STEVE: All right, enough hot water
151
00:06:45,248 --> 00:06:46,715
for at last one more shower.
152
00:06:46,749 --> 00:06:48,817
Did Carl blow up
the neighborhood again?
153
00:06:48,851 --> 00:06:50,485
No, I forgot to pay the bill.
154
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,620
Hey...
(pats her behind)
155
00:06:51,654 --> 00:06:53,121
happens to the best of us.
156
00:06:53,156 --> 00:06:54,122
Not to me, okay?
157
00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:55,323
I-I'm not like this.
158
00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:57,125
Like what?
Distracted.
159
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,393
Yeah, by what?
160
00:06:58,428 --> 00:07:00,529
Well, you're the only
new thing in the mix.
161
00:07:00,563 --> 00:07:04,633
Wait, am I actually
distracting Fiona Gallagher?
162
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,034
Really!
163
00:07:07,437 --> 00:07:08,403
I... hey...
164
00:07:08,438 --> 00:07:11,840
I will make a coffee run
after I finish.
165
00:07:11,874 --> 00:07:13,041
Fine.
Okay?
166
00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:14,543
Time for school, okay?
167
00:07:14,577 --> 00:07:16,211
Lip! Feet on the floor!
168
00:07:16,245 --> 00:07:17,379
Lip?
169
00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:20,315
(sighs)
170
00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:21,483
Warren.
171
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:22,818
Where's my paper?
172
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,219
Where's my money?
173
00:07:24,253 --> 00:07:25,887
I got it.
174
00:07:25,922 --> 00:07:27,589
Okay.
175
00:07:28,624 --> 00:07:30,158
I want to see it.
176
00:07:30,193 --> 00:07:32,360
$35, right?
177
00:07:32,395 --> 00:07:33,562
No, $50.
178
00:07:33,596 --> 00:07:35,197
Ching chow choon chow
179
00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:37,566
cho ching wang hang fo....
Stop speaking
180
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:38,834
fake Korean, Warren.
181
00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:40,435
I never said $35.
182
00:07:40,470 --> 00:07:42,737
Not for the paper
I wrote you last month,
183
00:07:42,772 --> 00:07:44,639
not for the paper I
wrote you last semester,
184
00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:45,841
not for this one.
185
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:48,109
All right? It's $50.
186
00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:50,579
Can you do $36?
187
00:07:50,613 --> 00:07:51,880
No.
188
00:07:51,914 --> 00:07:54,049
$38?
(groans): Oh...
189
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,717
Warren...
190
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,620
once again proving that
Koreans are the Asian Jews.
191
00:07:58,654 --> 00:08:00,121
That's racist.
192
00:08:00,156 --> 00:08:03,525
No. Facts cannot
be racist.
193
00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:05,427
Many Irish are drunks.
194
00:08:05,461 --> 00:08:07,062
Many French smell.
195
00:08:07,096 --> 00:08:08,697
Most Chinese hate children.
196
00:08:08,731 --> 00:08:11,199
That's why they sell
them to Americans.
197
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:13,902
Now, the fact here
198
00:08:13,936 --> 00:08:16,438
is that you,
the one Korean I know,
199
00:08:16,472 --> 00:08:17,706
made a deal of 50 bucks
200
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,407
for an original essay
about The Great
201
00:08:19,442 --> 00:08:21,910
goddamn Gatsby, yet...
202
00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:25,614
once again, you're trying to get me
to lower my agreed-upon price.
203
00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:27,349
Okay? So...
204
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:29,551
I want you to give me $50
205
00:08:29,585 --> 00:08:30,919
or GFY.
206
00:08:30,953 --> 00:08:32,387
GFY?
207
00:08:32,421 --> 00:08:35,223
Go Fuck Yourself.
208
00:08:42,865 --> 00:08:45,066
You're short again.
What?
209
00:08:45,101 --> 00:08:46,234
Inventory.
210
00:08:46,269 --> 00:08:48,470
Gone, out the door
without being paid for.
211
00:08:48,504 --> 00:08:49,604
Soup,
212
00:08:49,639 --> 00:08:52,007
beer, chips,
cigarettes, lollipops,
213
00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:54,476
salt... people are stealing salt,
Kash, what the hell?
214
00:08:54,510 --> 00:08:56,011
Kids, why don't you
go in the back
215
00:08:56,045 --> 00:08:57,012
and get yourself some juice.
216
00:08:57,046 --> 00:08:58,747
Boys, stay right where you are.
217
00:08:58,781 --> 00:09:00,115
You need to hear this.
218
00:09:00,149 --> 00:09:02,651
Other than genetic markers
for heart disease and bad teeth,
219
00:09:02,685 --> 00:09:05,420
this dump is the sum total
of what we're leaving you.
220
00:09:06,455 --> 00:09:09,491
The shoplifting is out of hand...
221
00:09:09,525 --> 00:09:10,859
$320 in one week.
222
00:09:10,893 --> 00:09:12,928
This is not a food bank.
223
00:09:12,962 --> 00:09:15,463
What are you doing when all
this thievery is taking place?
224
00:09:15,498 --> 00:09:17,599
You playing Brickbreaker
on your phone?
225
00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:21,202
Do I need to get
the security cameras fixed?
226
00:09:21,237 --> 00:09:23,705
'Cause that's a $2,500 bill
we cannot afford.
227
00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:29,411
Do me a favor while
I take the kids to school...
228
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:31,813
grow a pair.
229
00:09:31,847 --> 00:09:32,881
Come on, boys.
230
00:09:32,915 --> 00:09:34,282
You guys have your lunches?
231
00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:37,552
(can crackles)
232
00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:40,355
(turns engine off)
233
00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:56,004
(grunts)
234
00:09:56,038 --> 00:09:58,239
(gasps, pants)
You sure this is it?
235
00:09:58,274 --> 00:10:00,342
Yeah. Can I
please go now?
236
00:10:00,376 --> 00:10:03,044
When the kids leave.
237
00:10:03,079 --> 00:10:05,380
Oh, Liam, we got to get you
onto this potty!
238
00:10:05,414 --> 00:10:08,149
We can take some of the money
that we spent on diapers,
239
00:10:08,184 --> 00:10:10,251
and we can buy you candy,
and cars!
240
00:10:10,286 --> 00:10:12,220
Don't you like candy and cars?
241
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:14,389
Ah, rewards for shitting...
the good old days.
242
00:10:14,423 --> 00:10:15,390
Hey, let me help.
243
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:16,658
Okay, cool.
244
00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:18,493
When Liam starts holding
his breath and squinting,
245
00:10:18,527 --> 00:10:19,561
put him on this.
246
00:10:19,595 --> 00:10:21,129
The power bill.
247
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:22,364
(sighs)
248
00:10:22,398 --> 00:10:23,398
Come on, I'm
almost living here.
249
00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:24,499
No, you're not.
250
00:10:24,533 --> 00:10:25,867
Lip gave me enough
to pay for it yesterday.
251
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:27,802
I picked up a last-minute shift
at the motel
252
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,804
and forgot to walk it
to the payment center.
253
00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:31,573
STEVE:
430 bucks?
254
00:10:31,607 --> 00:10:33,642
Lip's a bit flush this month.
It's S.A.T. season.
255
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,644
He's always flush
during S.A.T. season.
256
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:36,745
S.A.T.?
257
00:10:36,779 --> 00:10:37,746
College tests.
258
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:39,014
He tutors?
259
00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:41,449
Uh, no. He takes.
260
00:10:41,484 --> 00:10:44,252
Okay, go play with your cars.
261
00:10:44,286 --> 00:10:46,888
Oh, hey, I got another lead for you.
Oh, set it up, douche.
262
00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:48,490
I'm taking it for someone
else after school today,
263
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,092
but, uh, there's another
session in two weeks.
264
00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,327
All right.
265
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,662
Don't take the phone today,
okay? I need it.
266
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,730
I need it.
(laughs) For what?
267
00:10:55,765 --> 00:10:57,232
Cold calling,
for baby-sitting gigs.
268
00:10:57,266 --> 00:10:59,267
I sound more mature
on the phone.
269
00:10:59,301 --> 00:11:00,735
I'm using the phone today, okay?
270
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:02,237
Everybody go.
You're gonna be late.
271
00:11:02,271 --> 00:11:04,739
STEVE:
I'll give you guys a ride.
272
00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,241
Thank you.
273
00:11:06,275 --> 00:11:08,076
Teacher told me to
give this to you.
274
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:10,078
Wait. What did you do?
Nothing.
275
00:11:10,112 --> 00:11:11,613
This is from last Friday.
276
00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:13,181
It's Wednesday! Carl!
277
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:14,749
Wait, whoa, what'd he do?
278
00:11:14,784 --> 00:11:16,418
Nothing.
Hey, bat stays here.
279
00:11:18,454 --> 00:11:20,955
Why do we keep having
this conversation?
280
00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:23,792
Because you never
take the money.
281
00:11:23,826 --> 00:11:25,694
Because I don't need it.
282
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,562
Don't you have someplace to be?
283
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,941
MAN: Catholics...
look at 'em all.
284
00:11:39,975 --> 00:11:42,143
They replicate like rabbits.
285
00:11:42,178 --> 00:11:45,447
But, you know, if the Pope
ever approves of condoms,
286
00:11:45,481 --> 00:11:47,082
I'd get baptized.
287
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:50,118
A lot I like about
the Catholic Mass.
288
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,754
(car door closes)
Good to know.
289
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,258
Let's get this over with.
290
00:11:57,293 --> 00:11:58,593
(groans)
291
00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:03,398
(door closes)
292
00:12:07,203 --> 00:12:09,204
Who forgot what?
293
00:12:10,239 --> 00:12:12,607
Frank forgot to pay.
294
00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:14,109
Get the fuck out of my house.
295
00:12:14,143 --> 00:12:15,410
You should dead-bolt your door.
296
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,711
This is
a dangerous neighborhood.
297
00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:18,113
Frank doesn't live
here anymore.
298
00:12:18,147 --> 00:12:20,348
Yeah, well, just 'cause
he don't live here anymore,
299
00:12:20,382 --> 00:12:22,617
doesn't mean you don't know
where he lives now.
300
00:12:22,651 --> 00:12:24,018
Put the bat down,
301
00:12:24,053 --> 00:12:25,453
pick up the phone,
302
00:12:25,488 --> 00:12:27,522
and tell him to get us
the six grand he owes.
303
00:12:27,556 --> 00:12:28,656
What?
304
00:12:28,691 --> 00:12:30,091
Or bring back the car.
305
00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:31,860
Or we'll come back
and use the bat on you.
306
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,100
(door closes)
307
00:12:39,135 --> 00:12:40,268
(sighs)
308
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,669
It's a buck-50 up front.
309
00:12:41,704 --> 00:12:44,472
When you get your S.A.T. results
back and see how great Lip did,
310
00:12:44,507 --> 00:12:45,840
it's another buck-50.
311
00:12:45,875 --> 00:12:47,475
And we do this today?
312
00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:50,345
No, today's session is booked.
313
00:12:50,379 --> 00:12:51,513
Three weeks.
314
00:12:51,547 --> 00:12:54,516
So I sit next to you
while you take the test?
315
00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:56,017
No.
316
00:12:56,051 --> 00:12:58,453
He's pretending to be you.
317
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,155
You can't be there.
318
00:13:00,189 --> 00:13:02,791
Why would they think you're me?
319
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:05,794
Well, I'll have a I.D.
That says that I am you.
320
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:10,198
But what if they
ask me for my I.D.?
321
00:13:10,232 --> 00:13:12,801
I'm going to
make a fake I.D.
322
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:16,971
But I'm tall.
323
00:13:21,076 --> 00:13:23,244
Yeah. That's-That's a chance
were just going to have to take.
324
00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:24,445
Yeah.
325
00:13:26,916 --> 00:13:28,516
Saturday night.
326
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,151
What time can I pick you up?
327
00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:31,419
7:00.
328
00:13:31,453 --> 00:13:34,322
Done.
(chuckles)
329
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,594
You're dating Oompa now?
330
00:13:39,628 --> 00:13:41,462
He doesn't talk.
It's fun.
331
00:13:45,301 --> 00:13:46,334
Come in.
332
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,902
(shuddering)
333
00:13:49,171 --> 00:13:51,139
I need a breakthrough, Malaya.
334
00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:53,208
Parents Night.
Oh, very important.
335
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:55,677
My daughter Karen.
We've met.
336
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,145
I'm a little geared up.
337
00:13:57,179 --> 00:13:58,947
I understand.
It's good.
338
00:13:58,981 --> 00:14:00,815
Children need to know
their parents care
339
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:02,450
about their education.
340
00:14:02,484 --> 00:14:04,619
I tell my son,
"Finish eighth grade,
341
00:14:04,653 --> 00:14:07,121
and then we'll talk about
you working in construction."
342
00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:09,991
Not that I couldn't use
the extra paycheck now.
343
00:14:10,025 --> 00:14:12,227
Oh. Right.
344
00:14:12,261 --> 00:14:14,596
(sighing happily):
Okay.
345
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:17,198
(exhales)
346
00:14:30,012 --> 00:14:31,312
I'm ready.
347
00:14:31,347 --> 00:14:32,680
FIONA:
Jesus, Frank!
348
00:14:32,715 --> 00:14:34,349
Two assholes busted
into our house
349
00:14:34,383 --> 00:14:36,017
looking for you and some car?
350
00:14:36,051 --> 00:14:37,018
Did they follow you here?
351
00:14:37,052 --> 00:14:38,286
Where is it?
352
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,155
I was invited to participate
in a business venture.
353
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,957
What did you do with the money?
That's just it!
354
00:14:42,992 --> 00:14:45,627
I wasn't given
any money up front!
355
00:14:45,661 --> 00:14:47,929
I was simply promised
that money would be shared
356
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:51,266
with me once an insurance
claim was... was settled.
357
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,334
Has that promise
been delivered upon?
358
00:14:53,369 --> 00:14:55,937
No. No, it has not.
359
00:14:55,971 --> 00:14:57,005
I warned you, Frank.
360
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:58,806
You knew about this
and you didn't tell me?
361
00:14:58,841 --> 00:15:00,241
Fi, I don't have
the time to call you
362
00:15:00,276 --> 00:15:01,309
every time Frank
has a bad idea.
363
00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:02,543
I'll talk to them.
364
00:15:02,578 --> 00:15:03,745
Oh, yeah? And say what?
"Hey guys,
365
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,780
sorry I forgot
to light the car on fire."
366
00:15:05,814 --> 00:15:07,949
I was not doing the igniting.
367
00:15:07,983 --> 00:15:10,518
I was just doing the "park
in a remote location."
368
00:15:10,552 --> 00:15:12,687
Unfortunately, I had
to make a pit stop,
369
00:15:12,721 --> 00:15:14,722
and when I got back,
the car was gone.
370
00:15:14,757 --> 00:15:16,557
You're gonna
take care of this. Now.
371
00:15:16,592 --> 00:15:19,394
Could go to Jersey for a while.
372
00:15:19,428 --> 00:15:20,528
Stay with your
Great Uncle George.
373
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:21,629
No. You're staying here,
374
00:15:21,664 --> 00:15:23,131
and you're gonna
take care of this car,
375
00:15:23,165 --> 00:15:25,333
'cause you're also gonna
be here to take care of Carl.
376
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,535
He needs you to show up
for him at Parents Night
377
00:15:27,569 --> 00:15:28,736
to discuss behavioral problems.
378
00:15:30,539 --> 00:15:32,006
(grunting)
379
00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:33,308
(screaming)
380
00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:39,681
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
381
00:15:39,715 --> 00:15:41,916
These sound like
solutions, not problems.
382
00:15:41,951 --> 00:15:43,785
The school disagrees.
383
00:15:43,819 --> 00:15:45,053
He's a boy.
384
00:15:45,087 --> 00:15:47,488
This is what boys do!
385
00:15:47,523 --> 00:15:48,690
When I was growing up,
386
00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:50,591
Joe Palazzo bit off
a kid's finger.
387
00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:52,093
Oh, that's got to be bullshit.
388
00:15:52,127 --> 00:15:53,294
Sister Irmalita
389
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:55,863
picked up the nub
and wrapped it in Kleenex.
390
00:15:55,898 --> 00:15:58,232
She always kept her snot rag
stuffed in her sleeve.
391
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,801
They're threatening
to expel him.
392
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:01,936
Well, go talk 'em out of it.
393
00:16:01,971 --> 00:16:03,905
They want a parent.
A real parent.
394
00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:05,506
Oh, I guess you're
off the hook then, Frank.
395
00:16:05,541 --> 00:16:07,742
(men laughing)
396
00:16:07,776 --> 00:16:10,478
I have never been
threatened by teachers,
397
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:13,114
and I am not going
to start now.
398
00:16:13,148 --> 00:16:16,584
I am fed up with these
pangender hermaphrodites
399
00:16:16,618 --> 00:16:19,520
who hate that human
beings are a species
400
00:16:19,555 --> 00:16:21,789
with two distinct genders.
401
00:16:21,824 --> 00:16:24,559
It's like they've
declared war on testicles!
402
00:16:24,593 --> 00:16:28,229
They want to remove all the
masculinity from the schools,
403
00:16:28,263 --> 00:16:30,231
fill the world
with yogurt-eaters.
404
00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:32,033
Well, do your research!
405
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:34,335
We're all descendents
of barbarians,
406
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:35,870
and the sooner we face it,
407
00:16:35,904 --> 00:16:39,640
the sooner we'll have a
civilization worth celebrating.
408
00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:42,944
So, hell no, I won't go,
409
00:16:42,978 --> 00:16:46,614
'cause no one scares
Frank Gallagher!
410
00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:50,351
(quietly):
Oh, shit.
411
00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,352
(clattering)
412
00:17:00,929 --> 00:17:04,499
♪ I feel the power
of the Lord within me ♪
413
00:17:06,668 --> 00:17:10,872
♪ I feel the power
of the Lord inside ♪
414
00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:16,077
♪ And I feel a surge
as He rises up... ♪
415
00:17:16,111 --> 00:17:19,814
♪ ♪
416
00:17:30,492 --> 00:17:32,193
Can you pretend
to be Frank tonight?
417
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:34,662
Sorry, Fi. I'm working.
418
00:17:34,696 --> 00:17:36,964
Why can't you do it?
419
00:17:36,999 --> 00:17:39,267
Say you had Carl when you
were, like, 14 or something.
420
00:17:39,301 --> 00:17:41,335
You could pass for 23.
421
00:17:41,370 --> 00:17:43,371
No?
(chuckles)
422
00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:45,840
How 'bout Kenny?
423
00:17:45,874 --> 00:17:48,609
(snoring) I'm trying to keep Carl
out of a foster home,
424
00:17:48,644 --> 00:17:50,812
not give 'em reason
to put him in one.
425
00:17:50,846 --> 00:17:53,047
Frank will show up for Carl.
426
00:17:53,082 --> 00:17:54,916
I know you think he won't,
427
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,217
but, deep down, I think
428
00:17:56,251 --> 00:17:58,019
Frank is capable
of doing the right thing.
429
00:17:59,855 --> 00:18:02,557
VLAD:
Frank!
430
00:18:02,591 --> 00:18:04,525
Kid! Give me the board!
Give me the board!
431
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,794
Hey! (grunting)
432
00:18:06,829 --> 00:18:08,329
Frank! Stop! Frank!
Hey! Gimme it back!
433
00:18:08,363 --> 00:18:10,098
Give me my skateboard back!
434
00:18:12,534 --> 00:18:14,469
God! Ah, fuck!
435
00:18:14,503 --> 00:18:15,536
My hammy!
436
00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:16,737
(whooping, laughing)
437
00:18:16,772 --> 00:18:18,840
You losers!
438
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,646
I'm ready.
439
00:18:25,681 --> 00:18:27,415
You know what I'm thinking?
440
00:18:27,449 --> 00:18:28,716
Indian.
441
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:31,586
So, let's go get
442
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:32,854
some curry.
443
00:18:32,888 --> 00:18:35,323
Excellent.
444
00:18:35,357 --> 00:18:38,059
MALAYA:
And now, how about
445
00:18:38,093 --> 00:18:40,061
we go find some fresh chicken?
446
00:18:40,095 --> 00:18:42,663
Ooh, yes. A yummy
447
00:18:42,698 --> 00:18:44,065
tikka masala.
448
00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:45,867
MALAYA:
You're doing great,
449
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:47,535
Sheila.
450
00:18:47,569 --> 00:18:48,703
Thank you.
451
00:18:48,737 --> 00:18:50,338
You know, I feel terrific.
452
00:18:50,372 --> 00:18:52,907
It's really....
It's really kind of nice
453
00:18:52,941 --> 00:18:54,375
to be out and about.
454
00:18:54,409 --> 00:18:58,446
Do you see any fellow shoppers?
455
00:18:58,480 --> 00:18:59,747
Oh.
456
00:18:59,781 --> 00:19:02,016
Yes.
457
00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:04,118
Hi.
458
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:06,087
Good, Sheila.
459
00:19:06,121 --> 00:19:07,955
Good.
Oh...
460
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:10,224
Oh, that wasn't so bad.
461
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:11,392
(keys clicking)
462
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:12,827
Okay, now,
463
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,795
this one's coming
a little bit close.
464
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:16,097
MALAYA:
Well...
465
00:19:16,131 --> 00:19:18,199
Sometimes when
we're out and about...
466
00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,367
Mm-hmm?
467
00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:20,568
...people shop for some
of the same things.
468
00:19:20,602 --> 00:19:22,403
SHEILA:
Uh-huh?
469
00:19:22,437 --> 00:19:24,238
And they enter
our space for a moment.
470
00:19:24,273 --> 00:19:25,406
Yes. That's happening.
471
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,708
Say hello to her.
472
00:19:27,743 --> 00:19:29,477
Hello.
473
00:19:31,947 --> 00:19:32,947
Oh, oh. That wasn't so bad.
474
00:19:32,981 --> 00:19:33,981
(laughs)
475
00:19:34,016 --> 00:19:35,583
That wasn't so bad at all.
476
00:19:35,617 --> 00:19:36,984
She seemed really nice.
477
00:19:37,019 --> 00:19:38,252
Okay.
478
00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:40,221
SHEILA:
Oh... Oh, God. Wait.
479
00:19:40,255 --> 00:19:42,623
Time to check out
and head outside.
480
00:19:42,658 --> 00:19:45,092
SHEILA: No, no, no.
We just started and I...
481
00:19:45,127 --> 00:19:47,495
I still need
vanilla and raisins
482
00:19:47,529 --> 00:19:49,497
and-and peaches.
I need to get some peaches.
483
00:19:49,531 --> 00:19:51,799
No peaches in Indian food.
Yes!
484
00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,134
No, there's peaches.
Concentrate.
485
00:19:53,168 --> 00:19:54,602
Oh, God.
486
00:19:54,636 --> 00:19:55,870
Oh!
487
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,238
No, no! No.
488
00:19:57,272 --> 00:19:58,906
I can't do it. I can't.
489
00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:01,075
Stop it! Make it stop!
490
00:20:01,109 --> 00:20:03,077
(sobbing)
491
00:20:04,112 --> 00:20:06,080
No.
492
00:20:15,457 --> 00:20:17,191
Sorry I threw you
out this morning.
493
00:20:17,226 --> 00:20:20,194
I love a woman
that knows what she wants.
494
00:20:20,229 --> 00:20:21,862
(chuckles)
Yeah.
495
00:20:21,897 --> 00:20:23,331
I want to be
someone else today.
496
00:20:23,365 --> 00:20:24,532
How's work?
497
00:20:24,566 --> 00:20:26,267
Backbreaking.
498
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:29,604
Can I swing by
and take you to lunch?
499
00:20:29,638 --> 00:20:32,940
I love that there's a world
where people go out to lunch.
500
00:20:32,975 --> 00:20:34,208
(alarm wailing)
501
00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:37,612
WOMAN: Next.
Carl's in trouble at school.
502
00:20:37,646 --> 00:20:39,413
Parents Night's tonight
and they want Frank
503
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:41,082
to show up, and he
says he won't,
504
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:42,516
so I got to go fix it
505
00:20:42,551 --> 00:20:44,318
before nobody shows up
and he gets bounced.
506
00:20:44,353 --> 00:20:46,621
(alarm continues wailing)
Sounds fun.
507
00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:48,155
I'll text ya later?
508
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:49,390
Make it dirty.
509
00:20:49,424 --> 00:20:51,626
(alarm stops)
510
00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:57,198
So, are you guys going
511
00:20:57,232 --> 00:20:59,166
to the parent-teacher
conference tonight?
512
00:20:59,201 --> 00:21:00,234
(laughing):
No.
513
00:21:00,269 --> 00:21:02,136
Need a parent for that,
don't you?
514
00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:04,572
Hey, Louise got an "A"
on the paper you wrote
515
00:21:04,606 --> 00:21:06,007
for her English class.
516
00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:07,341
How do you keep doing that?
517
00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:10,811
Well, to master the art
of the book report,
518
00:21:10,846 --> 00:21:13,414
you just take any novel,
no matter when it was written,
519
00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:15,483
and you argue
that the main character
520
00:21:15,517 --> 00:21:16,984
is a latent homosexual.
521
00:21:17,019 --> 00:21:19,153
No, seriously.
522
00:21:19,187 --> 00:21:21,689
Seriously.
Now, most English teachers
523
00:21:21,723 --> 00:21:23,524
are either gay and agree,
524
00:21:23,558 --> 00:21:27,194
or they're straight, but
too scared to disagree
525
00:21:27,229 --> 00:21:28,429
and get labeled as intolerant.
526
00:21:28,463 --> 00:21:29,430
(laughing)
527
00:21:29,464 --> 00:21:31,332
Hmm.
528
00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:33,034
1870!
All right.
529
00:21:33,068 --> 00:21:35,102
Yeah! Thanks, man.
Appreciate it.
530
00:21:35,137 --> 00:21:36,203
Perfect for the Big Ten.
Thanks.
531
00:21:36,238 --> 00:21:37,204
Happy to help, man.
532
00:21:37,239 --> 00:21:38,506
Hey, man.
You more than helped.
533
00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:40,708
Now I'll most definitely
be a beer swillin',
534
00:21:40,742 --> 00:21:42,877
roofie slippin',
fightin' Illini next year.
535
00:21:42,911 --> 00:21:44,145
All right?
All right.
536
00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:45,880
Awesome.
537
00:21:45,914 --> 00:21:47,381
LIP:
What happened, Tire?
538
00:21:47,416 --> 00:21:49,016
Not satisfied with your results?
539
00:21:49,051 --> 00:21:50,551
Haven't come back yet.
540
00:21:50,585 --> 00:21:51,852
Any day now.
541
00:21:51,887 --> 00:21:54,121
I better not look stupid.
542
00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:55,289
Impossible.
543
00:21:55,324 --> 00:21:57,091
Hey, listen, there's one last
544
00:21:57,125 --> 00:22:00,294
testing session this year,
so tell your friends.
545
00:22:00,329 --> 00:22:03,030
Don't tell me what to do.
546
00:22:07,502 --> 00:22:09,970
Why do we help people we hate?
547
00:22:10,005 --> 00:22:11,972
I believe we're
just taking our cue
548
00:22:12,007 --> 00:22:13,741
from American foreign policy.
549
00:22:13,775 --> 00:22:16,210
(chuckles)
550
00:22:18,647 --> 00:22:21,549
(panting)
551
00:22:21,583 --> 00:22:23,551
(grunts)
552
00:22:29,858 --> 00:22:31,792
(knocking at door)
553
00:22:31,827 --> 00:22:34,462
(sobbing):
Hello? Hello?
554
00:22:34,496 --> 00:22:37,565
It's Frank.
Frank?
555
00:22:37,599 --> 00:22:39,367
Come in, Frank.
Yeah.
556
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,535
Okay, good.
I'm fine.
557
00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:42,670
Shoes. Shoes.
558
00:22:42,704 --> 00:22:44,004
Shoes? Yeah.
559
00:22:44,039 --> 00:22:45,439
The bag. The bag.
560
00:22:45,474 --> 00:22:47,842
Hon, you got to lighten up
about the shoes, okay?
561
00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:49,910
I want shoes in bags.
562
00:22:49,945 --> 00:22:52,346
I appreciate you seeing me.
563
00:22:52,381 --> 00:22:53,647
You're Carl's mother?
564
00:22:53,682 --> 00:22:55,015
Uh, no, sister.
565
00:22:55,050 --> 00:22:57,051
Legal guardian?
566
00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:58,886
Formally, no.
567
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,421
Mr. Monroe?
568
00:23:00,455 --> 00:23:02,089
Where's that papier-mache?
569
00:23:02,124 --> 00:23:04,191
Right here.
570
00:23:04,226 --> 00:23:06,794
The kids have been making
papier-mache sculptures
571
00:23:06,828 --> 00:23:09,497
about what they love
about themselves.
572
00:23:09,531 --> 00:23:13,868
This is Carl's.
573
00:23:13,902 --> 00:23:15,302
What is that?
574
00:23:15,337 --> 00:23:18,773
That is a papier-mache
pile of shit.
575
00:23:18,807 --> 00:23:23,377
Wait. He has a very
developed sense of humor.
576
00:23:23,412 --> 00:23:25,446
We're not laughing.
577
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,382
Carl's future is speaking
to us through art.
578
00:23:28,417 --> 00:23:30,384
A dark future
579
00:23:30,419 --> 00:23:32,453
filled with what,
even to the untrained eye,
580
00:23:32,487 --> 00:23:34,054
is a budding psychosis.
I...
581
00:23:34,089 --> 00:23:35,556
We need to speak
582
00:23:35,590 --> 00:23:37,625
to his father or his mother.
583
00:23:37,659 --> 00:23:40,461
Well, they're-they're
out of town.
584
00:23:40,495 --> 00:23:42,563
It's important...
585
00:23:42,597 --> 00:23:44,532
I need a parent!
Not a sister.
586
00:23:44,566 --> 00:23:47,768
I've had what seems to be 15
of you goddamn Gallaghers
587
00:23:47,803 --> 00:23:50,104
here at this school, and I
have never once met a parent!
588
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:53,707
Not once! Who in the hell
is raising this degenerate?
589
00:23:53,742 --> 00:23:55,810
Come back tonight with a parent
590
00:23:55,844 --> 00:23:57,778
or a call will be placed
591
00:23:57,813 --> 00:24:00,414
to a place
you don't want me to call.
592
00:24:04,286 --> 00:24:08,122
Please? I just want someone
to be there for her.
593
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:11,425
To bear witness to
her achievements.
594
00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:13,394
If it was about Karen,
I would do it.
595
00:24:13,428 --> 00:24:15,095
But these nights
are not about the kids.
596
00:24:15,130 --> 00:24:17,598
They're about the teachers
giving themselves a platform
597
00:24:17,632 --> 00:24:18,866
for you to worship them,
598
00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:21,235
asking you to applaud
with gratitude
599
00:24:21,269 --> 00:24:22,236
for all the worthless crap
600
00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:23,437
they've been
teaching your kids,
601
00:24:23,472 --> 00:24:24,705
while, in reality,
602
00:24:24,739 --> 00:24:26,874
they're asking you
to validate them
603
00:24:26,908 --> 00:24:28,075
for the choice they made
604
00:24:28,109 --> 00:24:30,010
to waste their lives
as educators.
605
00:24:30,045 --> 00:24:32,646
(knocking at door)
606
00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:34,014
Who-Who's that?
607
00:24:34,049 --> 00:24:37,184
I'm expecting some granola
from Oregon.
608
00:24:37,219 --> 00:24:39,920
From... Gran...
From Oregon?
609
00:24:39,955 --> 00:24:42,056
People wonder why oil
prices are so high.
610
00:24:42,090 --> 00:24:45,226
Shipping oats and
sugar all the way...
611
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:46,393
(knocking)
612
00:24:49,097 --> 00:24:51,198
Oh. Can I help you?
613
00:24:51,233 --> 00:24:53,634
Uh... looking for Frank.
614
00:24:53,668 --> 00:24:55,135
SHEILA:
Oh.
615
00:24:55,170 --> 00:24:57,605
VLAD: It's, uh, it's Tommy and
Joey from down at the bar.
616
00:24:57,639 --> 00:24:59,673
SHEILA: Oh.
We, we got a darts tournament...
617
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:01,876
Oh.
...raising money for paralyzed kids,
618
00:25:01,910 --> 00:25:03,978
and, uh, we need Frank.
619
00:25:04,012 --> 00:25:06,714
We can't win and help the kids
without our star player.
620
00:25:06,748 --> 00:25:10,584
SHEILA:
Well, he's kind of
621
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:12,653
in an uncooperative mood today,
622
00:25:12,687 --> 00:25:15,089
but I'll see if
the paralyzed kids
623
00:25:15,123 --> 00:25:17,458
can get him out.
624
00:25:19,861 --> 00:25:21,862
Let's see.
625
00:25:25,834 --> 00:25:27,801
You, uh, you play?
626
00:25:27,836 --> 00:25:29,169
We need women, too.
627
00:25:29,204 --> 00:25:30,771
No, I am not a darts person.
628
00:25:30,805 --> 00:25:31,772
(both chuckle)
629
00:25:31,806 --> 00:25:33,274
Would you mind,
630
00:25:33,308 --> 00:25:35,843
um, taking your shoes off?
631
00:25:35,877 --> 00:25:39,313
My, uh, my mother,
God rest her soul,
632
00:25:39,347 --> 00:25:40,548
would be upset if I didn't.
633
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:42,416
Mm-hmm.
Lovely house.
634
00:25:42,450 --> 00:25:44,084
Oh, thank you.
635
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:45,486
So, uh,
636
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,154
where's Frank?
637
00:25:47,188 --> 00:25:48,989
Um, Frank?
638
00:25:49,024 --> 00:25:50,791
Frank?
639
00:25:50,825 --> 00:25:52,192
Frank?
640
00:25:52,227 --> 00:25:53,627
Frank!
641
00:25:55,797 --> 00:25:57,798
Geez.
642
00:25:59,834 --> 00:26:02,736
(talking indistinctly)
643
00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:18,419
(Middle-Eastern music
playing quietly over speakers)
644
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:39,406
Oh, heads up, man.
645
00:26:39,441 --> 00:26:41,141
You're out of barbecue Pringles.
646
00:26:47,082 --> 00:26:49,617
Hey, did Mickey pay for that?
647
00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:54,355
You have to stand up
to him, Kash.
648
00:26:54,389 --> 00:26:55,990
What the hell was
I supposed to say?
649
00:26:56,024 --> 00:26:58,292
How about "Cut out the shit
or I'll call the cops?"
650
00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:00,894
I tried that once
with his father.
651
00:27:03,632 --> 00:27:05,733
(grunting)
What do I owe you now?!
652
00:27:07,435 --> 00:27:10,070
Mickey's father is
in prison now, all right?
653
00:27:10,105 --> 00:27:11,905
I don't need any new enemies.
654
00:27:11,940 --> 00:27:13,741
What, so you're just going to
let him keep coming in here,
655
00:27:13,775 --> 00:27:14,775
and take what he wants?
656
00:27:14,809 --> 00:27:17,444
It's the cost of
doing business.
657
00:27:17,479 --> 00:27:20,180
(door opens, bell jingles)
658
00:27:28,223 --> 00:27:30,190
I forgot the dip.
659
00:27:32,794 --> 00:27:34,795
Jesus, Kash.
660
00:27:36,665 --> 00:27:38,098
Hey, Mickey,
661
00:27:38,133 --> 00:27:39,333
why don't you steal
from a neighborhood
662
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:40,334
you don't live in?
663
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:42,269
Have some civic pride, huh?
664
00:27:43,905 --> 00:27:44,872
(door opening)
Hey, hey...
665
00:27:44,906 --> 00:27:47,474
Jesus! Fuck.
666
00:27:47,509 --> 00:27:50,010
You know where I live
if you have a problem.
667
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:56,750
Here, go to the store and
replace the stuff he stole.
668
00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:00,354
We're cowards.
669
00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:02,356
We're smart men
in a stupid world.
670
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:05,025
Hurry before Linda gets back
and sees what's missing.
671
00:28:26,014 --> 00:28:27,648
Bathroom break?
672
00:28:27,682 --> 00:28:29,883
You'll need to be escorted.
673
00:28:29,918 --> 00:28:31,719
Oh, no, thanks, I'm all done.
674
00:28:39,561 --> 00:28:42,062
FIONA: Thanks for
turning us back on.
675
00:28:42,097 --> 00:28:44,098
Sure.
676
00:28:46,067 --> 00:28:48,035
STEVE:
How'd the meeting at school go?
677
00:28:48,069 --> 00:28:49,236
Badly.
678
00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:50,370
They're gonna sic
social services on us
679
00:28:50,405 --> 00:28:51,905
if Frank doesn't show,
680
00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:54,274
since he's never once in his
life shown up at a school event
681
00:28:54,309 --> 00:28:56,443
for any one of us, I'm trying
to figure something else out.
682
00:28:56,478 --> 00:28:58,011
Why don't I come tonight
and pretend to be him?
683
00:28:58,046 --> 00:29:00,514
I'll say, you know, I'll
say whatever people say,
684
00:29:00,548 --> 00:29:03,150
like, you know, I'm
traveling a lot,
685
00:29:03,184 --> 00:29:04,585
and Carl's probably
just acting out
686
00:29:04,619 --> 00:29:05,586
'cause he misses me.
687
00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:07,521
You're way too young.
688
00:29:07,555 --> 00:29:09,523
I thought you were gonna
say "too handsome."
689
00:29:09,557 --> 00:29:12,025
There's other people I can try.
690
00:29:12,060 --> 00:29:13,026
Yeah, who?
691
00:29:13,061 --> 00:29:14,928
People.
692
00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,497
Okay?
I-I'll see you later.
693
00:29:16,531 --> 00:29:18,565
I can't keep burning up
the minutes on my phone.
694
00:29:21,536 --> 00:29:24,371
Hector, you busy tonight?
695
00:29:26,407 --> 00:29:28,375
(sighs)
696
00:29:31,579 --> 00:29:33,747
Hey, Morgan, it's Lip.
697
00:29:33,782 --> 00:29:35,082
Uh, test went well.
698
00:29:35,116 --> 00:29:36,617
No problem with the I.D....
699
00:29:36,651 --> 00:29:39,620
one of the benefits
of your androgynous name.
700
00:29:39,654 --> 00:29:43,857
I'm thinking I scored you,
like, a 2,200.
701
00:29:43,892 --> 00:29:46,927
So send me that postcard
from Stanford, all right?
702
00:29:46,961 --> 00:29:49,196
Later.
703
00:29:49,230 --> 00:29:50,531
MAN:
Morgan.
704
00:29:50,565 --> 00:29:52,366
Morgan!
705
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,434
Or is it Greg Powers
706
00:29:54,469 --> 00:29:57,704
or Pete O'Brien
or Jammal Jackson?
707
00:29:57,739 --> 00:30:00,374
You taking tests
for girls now, Morgan?
708
00:30:00,408 --> 00:30:01,775
(chuckles)
709
00:30:01,810 --> 00:30:04,478
Yeah, welcome
to your shit show.
710
00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:05,646
I'm an investigator
711
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,881
for the Educational
Evaluation Service.
712
00:30:07,916 --> 00:30:09,116
We're the people
who administer the...
713
00:30:09,150 --> 00:30:10,484
Yeah, I know.
Oh, you do?
714
00:30:10,518 --> 00:30:13,220
So why don't you tell me
how you cheat?
715
00:30:13,254 --> 00:30:14,555
I don't cheat.
716
00:30:14,589 --> 00:30:15,789
Oh... right.
717
00:30:15,824 --> 00:30:16,790
I don't.
718
00:30:16,825 --> 00:30:18,325
Uh-huh, let's see,
you got a 2,360,
719
00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:23,297
2,290, 2,400, and all
from this crappy high school?
720
00:30:23,331 --> 00:30:24,965
Yeah, I know my shit.
721
00:30:24,999 --> 00:30:26,967
And I got a brand-new test
we just finished creating,
722
00:30:27,001 --> 00:30:29,636
so why don't we go see
if you know your shit
723
00:30:29,671 --> 00:30:31,939
or you're just full of it?
724
00:30:38,213 --> 00:30:40,180
FRANK:
Karen.
725
00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:42,649
Here.
726
00:30:42,684 --> 00:30:46,286
Daddy Frank, what
are you doing?
727
00:30:46,321 --> 00:30:48,755
Freezing my gonads
off, that's what.
728
00:30:48,790 --> 00:30:51,758
You see that pickup with the
two scary-looking dudes in it?
729
00:30:53,228 --> 00:30:55,128
Yes.
Divert their attention
730
00:30:55,163 --> 00:30:58,098
so I can slip back
into the house.
731
00:30:58,132 --> 00:30:59,533
Daddy Frank,
732
00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:03,704
I really, really want you to
come to Parents Night tonight.
733
00:31:03,738 --> 00:31:05,639
Nobody's ever there to see
how great I'm doing,
734
00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:07,641
and I'm really,
really doing great.
735
00:31:09,677 --> 00:31:12,145
Distract them and we'll talk.
736
00:31:12,180 --> 00:31:15,115
Promise me you'll come to school
for me tonight and I'll do it.
737
00:31:15,149 --> 00:31:17,451
All right, all right!
Jesus!
738
00:31:17,485 --> 00:31:19,686
Everything's gotta be
quid pro fucking quo.
739
00:31:19,721 --> 00:31:22,689
Go, distract, distract.
740
00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:35,769
So, what have you allowed
to be stolen today?
741
00:31:35,803 --> 00:31:37,204
Can we try some optimism?
742
00:31:37,238 --> 00:31:38,205
Optimism
743
00:31:38,239 --> 00:31:40,073
is for children and presidents,
744
00:31:40,108 --> 00:31:44,778
not for mini-mart owners
in a land of 30 million jobless.
745
00:31:44,812 --> 00:31:47,714
Where the hell were you?
746
00:31:47,749 --> 00:31:49,850
Uh...
Why are you looking at him?
747
00:31:49,884 --> 00:31:51,285
Where are you going
with all that stuff?
748
00:31:51,319 --> 00:31:53,387
Nowhere, I...
749
00:31:54,422 --> 00:31:56,390
Who?
750
00:31:56,424 --> 00:31:58,358
Is it the Milkovich kid again?
751
00:31:59,994 --> 00:32:02,296
(both sigh)
752
00:32:09,404 --> 00:32:11,038
That's it.
753
00:32:11,072 --> 00:32:12,272
We're closed.
754
00:32:16,911 --> 00:32:18,912
Follow me.
755
00:32:25,219 --> 00:32:28,088
SHEILA: I cannot thank you
enough for representing
756
00:32:28,122 --> 00:32:30,157
our family tonight
at Parents Night.
757
00:32:30,191 --> 00:32:32,059
Karen is going to be so happy.
758
00:32:32,093 --> 00:32:33,193
(sighs)
759
00:32:33,227 --> 00:32:35,295
And make sure you ask
lots of questions
760
00:32:35,330 --> 00:32:36,797
and then report back to me.
761
00:32:36,831 --> 00:32:38,765
I need details,
lots of details.
762
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,134
Okay?
Details, details, yeah, yeah, lots
763
00:32:41,169 --> 00:32:42,970
of details.
764
00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:44,972
I'd stay down here
and entertain you
765
00:32:45,006 --> 00:32:47,174
with my lips.
766
00:32:48,209 --> 00:32:50,978
But it's getting kind of late.
767
00:32:51,012 --> 00:32:54,247
No, those, those things
never start on time.
768
00:32:54,282 --> 00:32:56,550
You sure?
Yeah, pretty sure.
769
00:32:56,584 --> 00:32:59,086
They never...
We've got time.
770
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,253
Positive?
771
00:33:00,288 --> 00:33:01,588
We've got time, we've got time.
Okay.
772
00:33:01,622 --> 00:33:02,622
(unzipping)
773
00:33:03,624 --> 00:33:05,625
Come here.
774
00:33:08,363 --> 00:33:11,331
Well, you missed one.
775
00:33:11,366 --> 00:33:13,166
No, I didn't.
776
00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:19,940
The wording is ambiguous.
777
00:33:19,974 --> 00:33:22,542
You're gonna get mail on that.
778
00:33:27,582 --> 00:33:29,549
Huh.
779
00:33:29,584 --> 00:33:31,518
I'll take it up with the board.
780
00:33:35,723 --> 00:33:37,691
Hm.
781
00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:40,927
2,400.
782
00:33:40,962 --> 00:33:42,362
You know how rare that is, hmm?
783
00:33:42,397 --> 00:33:43,930
Out of a million
and a half kids
784
00:33:43,965 --> 00:33:44,931
who take the test every year,
785
00:33:44,966 --> 00:33:47,267
only 300 get a perfect score.
786
00:33:49,837 --> 00:33:51,805
How'd you catch me?
787
00:33:51,839 --> 00:33:53,774
Huh, well, as smart as you are,
788
00:33:53,808 --> 00:33:55,842
we got people working
for us who are even smarter.
789
00:34:01,749 --> 00:34:03,717
So what now?
790
00:34:03,751 --> 00:34:07,187
Well, punishment or
redemption... your choice.
791
00:34:07,221 --> 00:34:09,489
What's the punishment?
792
00:34:09,524 --> 00:34:10,724
You mean, you entered into this
793
00:34:10,758 --> 00:34:12,025
without researching
the consequences
794
00:34:12,060 --> 00:34:13,393
of getting caught?
795
00:34:13,428 --> 00:34:15,429
What, jail?
796
00:34:15,463 --> 00:34:17,564
(chuckles) No, we're not
usually in the business
797
00:34:17,598 --> 00:34:18,965
of sending kids to jail.
798
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,936
Our only mandate is to send
universities valid scores,
799
00:34:22,970 --> 00:34:25,572
and we invalidate the ones
that aren't legitimate.
800
00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:28,508
I'm at the
University of Chicago.
801
00:34:28,543 --> 00:34:31,011
Come to my office.
802
00:34:33,848 --> 00:34:36,616
And don't you ever, ever
803
00:34:36,651 --> 00:34:39,119
take a test for
someone else again
804
00:34:39,153 --> 00:34:42,622
or I will find you and I
will beat you senseless.
805
00:34:42,657 --> 00:34:44,758
Hmm?
806
00:34:52,567 --> 00:34:55,502
(whistling cheerfully)
807
00:35:03,945 --> 00:35:05,912
Where'd you learn
how to do that?
808
00:35:05,947 --> 00:35:08,748
I lived a lot of years
before I met you.
809
00:35:08,783 --> 00:35:09,950
Come on.
810
00:35:16,858 --> 00:35:19,092
Now hold it like you want
to do something with it.
811
00:35:26,934 --> 00:35:29,569
Hand it here.
What?
812
00:35:33,207 --> 00:35:35,842
Left shoulder.
813
00:35:35,877 --> 00:35:37,177
Right shoulder.
814
00:35:37,211 --> 00:35:38,245
Left leg.
815
00:35:38,279 --> 00:35:39,446
Right leg.
816
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,780
Stomach.
817
00:35:40,815 --> 00:35:42,315
Neck... Face.
818
00:35:42,984 --> 00:35:44,317
Heart.
819
00:35:48,389 --> 00:35:50,891
ROTC.
820
00:35:57,532 --> 00:35:59,966
LIP:
Hey, sorry I'm late.
821
00:36:00,001 --> 00:36:01,201
It's okay;
I brought you a shirt.
822
00:36:01,235 --> 00:36:02,469
Okay.
Okay, now, listen up.
823
00:36:02,503 --> 00:36:04,337
We are going to stand united
and show them
824
00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:05,772
that we are a family
that is thriving.
825
00:36:05,806 --> 00:36:06,773
You got it?
Yep.
826
00:36:06,807 --> 00:36:07,774
Let's go.
All right.
827
00:36:07,808 --> 00:36:09,209
Come on.
828
00:36:09,243 --> 00:36:10,610
Come on.
829
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,681
This is it?
830
00:36:14,715 --> 00:36:16,950
This is his brother.
831
00:36:16,984 --> 00:36:18,151
Uh, Phillip.
832
00:36:18,186 --> 00:36:19,719
Very good to see you
again, sir.
833
00:36:19,754 --> 00:36:23,290
Uh, Phillip is 17, I'm 21, uh,
834
00:36:23,324 --> 00:36:25,759
and while we may not be the
legal guardians of our brother,
835
00:36:25,793 --> 00:36:26,826
we do supply him...
836
00:36:26,861 --> 00:36:30,063
I told you I wanted
to see a parent.
837
00:36:30,097 --> 00:36:32,732
We just opened the letter today.
838
00:36:32,767 --> 00:36:35,368
I gave Carl
the letter last week.
839
00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:36,803
LIP:
So you're relying
840
00:36:36,837 --> 00:36:39,406
on a nine-year-old to deliver
important correspondence?
841
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,209
You don't seem
to have a home phone.
842
00:36:42,243 --> 00:36:44,544
FIONA: Carl is taken care of
at home by loving siblings.
843
00:36:44,579 --> 00:36:47,747
This is not up for negotiation.
844
00:36:47,782 --> 00:36:50,483
Your brother is on the verge
of being expelled,
845
00:36:50,518 --> 00:36:54,154
and unfortunately, there are
steps the state requires
846
00:36:54,188 --> 00:36:57,557
to be taken
before he can be bounced,
847
00:36:57,592 --> 00:37:01,194
and a meeting with his
legal guardian is the next step.
848
00:37:01,229 --> 00:37:02,729
Please, you can't do this.
849
00:37:02,763 --> 00:37:04,331
I mean, he loves school.
850
00:37:04,365 --> 00:37:07,801
(scoffs)
More potential victims here, I suppose.
851
00:37:07,835 --> 00:37:10,337
No, all his friends are here.
852
00:37:10,371 --> 00:37:12,005
Can you stop it?
I'm serious.
853
00:37:12,039 --> 00:37:13,707
He needs more
structure, we know.
854
00:37:13,741 --> 00:37:17,711
(laughing)
855
00:37:17,745 --> 00:37:20,780
What Carl needs is medication,
856
00:37:20,815 --> 00:37:25,619
a near-death experience,
or a lobotomy.
857
00:37:27,822 --> 00:37:29,522
You should be very proud
of your daughter.
858
00:37:29,557 --> 00:37:32,726
She's prompt, poised, cheerful.
859
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,362
Vivid imagination,
expansive vocabulary.
860
00:37:35,396 --> 00:37:37,697
Karen has greatness
in her future.
861
00:37:37,732 --> 00:37:39,699
She gets it from me.
862
00:37:39,734 --> 00:37:41,334
It's all the time
863
00:37:41,369 --> 00:37:43,803
I spent with her
when she was a youngster.
864
00:37:43,838 --> 00:37:45,639
Flash cards and the like.
865
00:37:45,673 --> 00:37:49,476
Pounding, pounding, pounding
relentlessly.
866
00:37:49,510 --> 00:37:53,380
Never underestimate the power
of flash cards.
867
00:37:53,414 --> 00:37:55,582
I'm sorry.
868
00:37:55,616 --> 00:37:57,984
I'm placing a call
to social services.
869
00:37:58,019 --> 00:38:01,288
A home without a legal guardian
870
00:38:01,322 --> 00:38:04,157
is a home we cannot condone.
871
00:38:04,191 --> 00:38:05,892
(footsteps approaching)
872
00:38:05,926 --> 00:38:07,827
Hello all.
873
00:38:07,862 --> 00:38:09,863
Uh, sorry I was late.
874
00:38:09,897 --> 00:38:11,398
I got held up at the office.
875
00:38:11,432 --> 00:38:15,368
So, now that Fiona
and I are engaged, I've filed
876
00:38:15,403 --> 00:38:16,936
the paperwork so
that we can become
877
00:38:16,971 --> 00:38:18,271
the legal guardians
of the children.
878
00:38:18,306 --> 00:38:23,843
Do you realize Carl's
report card has seven U's?
879
00:38:23,878 --> 00:38:26,079
Uh, U's?
880
00:38:26,113 --> 00:38:28,348
As in unsatisfactory.
881
00:38:28,382 --> 00:38:32,519
But don't think of U
as in unsatisfactory.
882
00:38:32,553 --> 00:38:35,822
Think of U as in F.
883
00:38:35,856 --> 00:38:38,024
As in failed?
884
00:38:38,059 --> 00:38:39,526
As in fucked.
885
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,996
I am not a religious man,
886
00:38:43,030 --> 00:38:45,665
but every now and then,
a child comes along
887
00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:49,436
who makes me believe
in the existence of Satan.
888
00:38:49,470 --> 00:38:51,304
Now, something drastic
889
00:38:51,339 --> 00:38:54,641
must be done, or he's going
to slip down through the cracks,
890
00:38:54,675 --> 00:38:57,510
right up into a clock tower
with a sniper rifle.
891
00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:00,780
DEVELIN: Given our
resources, he is
892
00:39:00,815 --> 00:39:02,148
beyond our ability to help.
893
00:39:02,183 --> 00:39:04,050
FIONA:
It's just a phase.
894
00:39:04,085 --> 00:39:06,052
And... now that
we're aware of it...
895
00:39:06,087 --> 00:39:07,554
Too late!
896
00:39:07,588 --> 00:39:10,523
This Norman Rockwell display
might warm the cockles
897
00:39:10,558 --> 00:39:13,159
of some other fool who
believes no fucking child...
898
00:39:13,194 --> 00:39:15,161
not even the
budding psychotics...
899
00:39:15,196 --> 00:39:17,964
should be left behind...
but the fact is,
900
00:39:17,998 --> 00:39:20,200
the sooner
Carl is put in prison,
901
00:39:20,234 --> 00:39:22,335
the safer
this world is gonna be.
902
00:39:22,370 --> 00:39:25,338
More of a Mickey Hart fan
when it comes to paintings?
903
00:39:25,373 --> 00:39:26,840
What? What's that?
904
00:39:26,874 --> 00:39:29,743
More of a Mickey Hart fan
than a Norman Rockwell fan.
905
00:39:32,380 --> 00:39:35,482
Mickey Hart's an
all right painter
906
00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:36,916
for a drummer.
907
00:39:36,951 --> 00:39:40,487
Could you all excuse us
for a second?
908
00:39:40,521 --> 00:39:41,721
For what?
909
00:39:41,756 --> 00:39:43,490
If we could just take a walk
910
00:39:43,524 --> 00:39:44,657
and talk in private?
911
00:39:44,692 --> 00:39:46,326
Get a breath of fresh air?
912
00:39:57,171 --> 00:39:59,873
Evening, Frank.
913
00:40:07,748 --> 00:40:09,015
Hey... ooh!
914
00:40:09,049 --> 00:40:10,417
(groaning)
915
00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:13,353
All you had to do is drive
the car and park it.
916
00:40:13,387 --> 00:40:15,221
It was an extraordinary
circumstance.
917
00:40:15,256 --> 00:40:17,891
It was the night the Bears
were playing Green Bay.
918
00:40:17,925 --> 00:40:19,192
There was an after...
919
00:40:19,226 --> 00:40:20,794
(Frank groans)
920
00:40:20,828 --> 00:40:22,061
I'd be kicking you
921
00:40:22,096 --> 00:40:24,264
had I not pulled a
hamstring chasing after you.
922
00:40:24,298 --> 00:40:26,132
You're a fast little bastard.
923
00:40:26,167 --> 00:40:28,067
Second team all-state
in the mile.
924
00:40:28,102 --> 00:40:29,335
(laughs)
925
00:40:29,370 --> 00:40:30,703
(yelling)
926
00:40:30,738 --> 00:40:32,605
Daddy Frank?
927
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:33,673
VLAD:
Hey.
928
00:40:38,479 --> 00:40:39,846
Sell a kidney,
prostitute your 12-year-old,
929
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,382
I don't care how
you get the money, but I want
930
00:40:42,416 --> 00:40:43,850
six grand in cash by Saturday,
931
00:40:43,884 --> 00:40:46,052
or this ear will be hanging
around my neck.
932
00:40:46,086 --> 00:40:47,420
(flutters tongue)
933
00:40:56,997 --> 00:41:00,366
No one around here really knows
934
00:41:00,401 --> 00:41:03,102
those terrapins are a
Grateful Dead thing.
935
00:41:03,137 --> 00:41:04,270
(laughs)
936
00:41:04,305 --> 00:41:06,406
The kids call 'em
Mr. G's turtles.
937
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,908
Shit, man, they don't even know
938
00:41:08,943 --> 00:41:11,845
who the Grateful Dead are.
939
00:41:11,879 --> 00:41:13,847
Ah, man.
940
00:41:13,881 --> 00:41:17,183
The summer of 1979.
941
00:41:17,218 --> 00:41:19,886
The best summer of my life.
942
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,422
Followed the Dead
around the Midwest.
943
00:41:22,456 --> 00:41:25,058
Supported myself
selling grilled cheese
944
00:41:25,092 --> 00:41:27,460
in the parking lot.
945
00:41:27,495 --> 00:41:29,128
Yeah, they made great music.
946
00:41:29,163 --> 00:41:32,265
Their music blows.
947
00:41:32,299 --> 00:41:34,267
But their female fans...
948
00:41:36,303 --> 00:41:38,905
...were a bunch
of patchouli-soaked sluts
949
00:41:38,939 --> 00:41:41,407
who all wanted
to ball their first black guy.
950
00:41:41,442 --> 00:41:43,443
(both snickering)
951
00:41:45,179 --> 00:41:47,814
I never embraced tokenism
with more gusto.
952
00:41:47,848 --> 00:41:50,550
(laughing)
953
00:41:53,354 --> 00:41:55,788
Those terrapins
954
00:41:55,823 --> 00:41:57,924
were a parting gift
955
00:41:57,958 --> 00:41:59,926
from this Skidmore chick...
956
00:42:02,429 --> 00:42:04,664
...who sucked me off
957
00:42:04,698 --> 00:42:08,067
like I had diamonds buried
in the bottom of my ball sack.
958
00:42:08,102 --> 00:42:10,103
Whoo!
959
00:42:11,939 --> 00:42:16,376
Man... this is
some good shit.
960
00:42:16,410 --> 00:42:18,912
You know, we're gonna
turn Carl around.
961
00:42:18,946 --> 00:42:22,081
Thanks for the joint...
962
00:42:22,116 --> 00:42:24,384
but I'm not gonna lose
my pension
963
00:42:24,418 --> 00:42:27,754
over some little whack job
going postal on my watch.
964
00:42:27,788 --> 00:42:29,122
Though I do not distribute
965
00:42:29,156 --> 00:42:31,558
high-quality medicine
such as this,
966
00:42:31,592 --> 00:42:34,727
I could hook you up
with some discreet people
967
00:42:34,762 --> 00:42:37,363
who'd give you
a favorable price.
968
00:42:37,398 --> 00:42:39,899
We talking a teacher discount?
969
00:42:41,702 --> 00:42:43,303
(laughs)
970
00:42:43,337 --> 00:42:44,737
My man.
971
00:42:46,874 --> 00:42:49,509
What the hell did you do?
972
00:42:49,543 --> 00:42:51,110
Saw an opening, made my move.
973
00:42:51,145 --> 00:42:53,212
Got lucky.
(laughing)
974
00:42:54,715 --> 00:42:56,049
Daddy!
975
00:42:56,083 --> 00:42:57,584
If I hadn't had such a...
976
00:42:57,618 --> 00:42:59,385
Debbie, we got to go.
977
00:42:59,420 --> 00:43:01,287
I want to say hi
to Daddy. Daddy!
978
00:43:01,322 --> 00:43:02,655
Hi!
979
00:43:02,690 --> 00:43:04,190
Hello, pumpkin!
980
00:43:04,224 --> 00:43:05,558
Karen, what's going on?
981
00:43:05,593 --> 00:43:07,927
Well, you said you never come
to these, so, I thought that
982
00:43:07,962 --> 00:43:10,430
you weren't gonna come,
and so, I asked Frank
983
00:43:10,464 --> 00:43:12,131
to stand in
for my worthless father.
984
00:43:12,166 --> 00:43:13,600
Did they expel Carl?
985
00:43:17,404 --> 00:43:18,738
What I tell you?
986
00:43:18,772 --> 00:43:21,908
Drama and threats
all for naught.
987
00:43:21,942 --> 00:43:23,810
(laughing)
988
00:43:27,281 --> 00:43:29,148
Come on, guys.
989
00:43:29,183 --> 00:43:30,450
Let's go.
990
00:43:33,954 --> 00:43:35,421
Bye, Daddy.
991
00:43:35,456 --> 00:43:37,924
Yeah. See you.
992
00:43:46,333 --> 00:43:47,767
FIONA:
Carl, we're serious.
993
00:43:47,801 --> 00:43:49,669
The stakes are really,
really high.
994
00:43:49,703 --> 00:43:52,538
We love you, and we need you
in this family.
995
00:43:52,573 --> 00:43:54,474
In this house.
996
00:43:54,508 --> 00:43:56,209
You need to stop biting
997
00:43:56,243 --> 00:43:58,211
and punching
and hurting people.
998
00:43:58,245 --> 00:44:01,648
Well, how else
do I make them cry?
999
00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:02,715
Gossip and slander.
1000
00:44:02,750 --> 00:44:04,751
You know,
when I get really angry,
1001
00:44:04,785 --> 00:44:06,252
I usually just count to ten.
1002
00:44:06,286 --> 00:44:08,488
Hey, little man,
tell you what we're gonna do.
1003
00:44:08,522 --> 00:44:10,757
We're gonna get you some
pads and some skates.
1004
00:44:10,791 --> 00:44:12,091
Get you out on the ice.
1005
00:44:12,126 --> 00:44:14,293
You can take your frustrations
out with a hockey stick.
1006
00:44:14,328 --> 00:44:15,995
Yeah. You can come
to karate with me.
1007
00:44:16,030 --> 00:44:17,163
Remember when I broke
1008
00:44:17,197 --> 00:44:18,965
Kyle Boozlee's leg?
It took three pins
1009
00:44:18,999 --> 00:44:20,500
to put it back together, huh?
1010
00:44:20,534 --> 00:44:22,869
You can't beat karate
when it comes to regulated,
1011
00:44:22,903 --> 00:44:24,203
sanctioned violence
for children.
1012
00:44:29,643 --> 00:44:34,280
Will you tell me one more time
what the teacher said, Frank?
1013
00:44:34,314 --> 00:44:36,816
How many more times?
1014
00:44:36,850 --> 00:44:38,818
Mm...
1015
00:44:38,852 --> 00:44:41,521
Just one more time.
1016
00:44:41,555 --> 00:44:43,089
Just one more time.
1017
00:44:43,123 --> 00:44:45,525
I... I would've known
if I'd been there,
1018
00:44:45,559 --> 00:44:46,726
but-but just one more.
1019
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,127
They said
1020
00:44:48,162 --> 00:44:52,965
she was developing into an
incredibly poised young woman.
1021
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,134
Poised?
1022
00:44:55,169 --> 00:44:57,003
Mm-hmm.
1023
00:44:57,037 --> 00:44:58,838
Oh.
1024
00:44:58,872 --> 00:45:00,873
She is.
1025
00:45:03,444 --> 00:45:05,978
She is quite the young lady.
1026
00:45:10,084 --> 00:45:11,617
(gently patting Frank's hand)
1027
00:45:14,121 --> 00:45:16,122
Frank, how...
1028
00:45:17,758 --> 00:45:20,059
how am I gonna help her
1029
00:45:20,094 --> 00:45:22,295
be the woman she's
supposed to be
1030
00:45:22,329 --> 00:45:24,664
if I'm locked up in this house?
1031
00:45:26,700 --> 00:45:29,001
I can't even get
through the doors
1032
00:45:29,036 --> 00:45:31,504
of a pretend supermarket.
1033
00:45:33,107 --> 00:45:35,208
How am I gonna show her the...
1034
00:45:35,242 --> 00:45:37,243
Grand Canyon?
1035
00:45:40,114 --> 00:45:42,081
Life is going on
1036
00:45:42,116 --> 00:45:45,184
all around me, and
I'm missing out.
1037
00:45:45,219 --> 00:45:47,186
(sniffles)
1038
00:45:47,221 --> 00:45:50,089
(crying):
Why am I so pathetic?
1039
00:45:50,124 --> 00:45:52,191
Hey.
1040
00:45:52,226 --> 00:45:56,362
You are going to get through
those doors any day now,
1041
00:45:56,396 --> 00:45:58,631
and never look back.
1042
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:00,967
Oh!
1043
00:46:01,001 --> 00:46:03,069
(laughs)
1044
00:46:03,103 --> 00:46:04,871
Frank.
1045
00:46:04,905 --> 00:46:06,372
(sniffles)
1046
00:46:06,406 --> 00:46:08,641
Frank.
1047
00:46:08,675 --> 00:46:09,942
(sniffles)
1048
00:46:09,977 --> 00:46:13,980
Thank you for being my light.
1049
00:46:16,183 --> 00:46:18,217
(sniffles)
1050
00:46:18,252 --> 00:46:20,086
(sighs)
1051
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,821
My Frank.
1052
00:46:21,855 --> 00:46:23,523
My light.
1053
00:46:26,994 --> 00:46:29,495
(TV playing)
LIP: Hey.
1054
00:46:29,530 --> 00:46:33,499
Um... listen, Morgan,
it's-it's Lip.
1055
00:46:33,534 --> 00:46:37,170
Uh... we got to talk.
1056
00:46:37,204 --> 00:46:39,172
I-I got some bad news
1057
00:46:39,206 --> 00:46:43,142
regarding your S.A.T. scores.
1058
00:46:43,177 --> 00:46:46,813
They're invalidating your score.
1059
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:49,315
Um...
1060
00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:51,417
I'll go into more detail
1061
00:46:51,451 --> 00:46:53,519
when I speak with you.
1062
00:46:53,554 --> 00:46:55,521
Sorry to leave this
on your phone.
1063
00:46:55,556 --> 00:46:57,356
(dramatic music plays on TV)
1064
00:46:57,391 --> 00:46:58,658
(sighs)
1065
00:46:58,692 --> 00:47:00,993
All right. Um... okay.
1066
00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:02,628
Hit me back.
1067
00:47:07,301 --> 00:47:10,403
(TV continues playing)
1068
00:47:10,437 --> 00:47:12,939
Yeah, I didn't need your help.
1069
00:47:12,973 --> 00:47:16,576
No, it looked like you did.
1070
00:47:16,610 --> 00:47:19,178
You're upset that
I actually did help.
1071
00:47:19,213 --> 00:47:21,681
You're afraid that
if I keep on showing up
1072
00:47:21,715 --> 00:47:23,649
and actually helping,
that you'll like it.
1073
00:47:23,684 --> 00:47:24,951
And liking it will lead
1074
00:47:24,985 --> 00:47:27,453
to relying on it,
and by relying on it,
1075
00:47:27,487 --> 00:47:30,056
you'll be less of the you
you've made yourself into...
1076
00:47:30,090 --> 00:47:33,993
a kick-ass you that you
like and I like, too.
1077
00:47:34,027 --> 00:47:35,928
But you're afraid that
if you learn to rely on me,
1078
00:47:35,963 --> 00:47:38,231
then one day, when you really
need me to show up, I won't.
1079
00:47:38,265 --> 00:47:39,932
And then you'll be
angry at yourself
1080
00:47:39,967 --> 00:47:42,368
for believing in something
you've only seen in the movies,
1081
00:47:42,402 --> 00:47:44,637
something that I'm determined
to prove to you actually exists.
1082
00:47:44,671 --> 00:47:47,607
(turning up volume of music)
1083
00:47:47,641 --> 00:47:50,476
How come every time
I want to fool around,
1084
00:47:50,510 --> 00:47:53,279
you can't shut up?
1085
00:48:02,289 --> 00:48:04,190
(weapons firing)
1086
00:48:04,224 --> 00:48:06,359
(knocking on door)
1087
00:48:07,828 --> 00:48:09,095
(knocking continues)
1088
00:48:16,703 --> 00:48:18,704
TIRE NECK:
Hey.
1089
00:48:18,739 --> 00:48:19,739
I'm here for Lip
1090
00:48:19,773 --> 00:48:21,974
to pay him the balance
for the S.A.T. test?
1091
00:48:26,079 --> 00:48:28,114
Tire.
1092
00:48:28,148 --> 00:48:30,216
Lip, my man.
1093
00:48:30,250 --> 00:48:33,386
They invalidated my score!
Shit! I was gonna call you.
1094
00:48:33,420 --> 00:48:34,553
I'm gonna get, like, a six
on this test!
1095
00:48:34,588 --> 00:48:36,322
You get at least
a couple hundred for spelling
1096
00:48:36,356 --> 00:48:37,690
your name correctly.
Shit! Wait! Wait! Wait!
1097
00:48:37,724 --> 00:48:39,458
I can fix this, all right?
1098
00:48:41,395 --> 00:48:42,895
I won't be able
to play ball in college!
1099
00:48:42,930 --> 00:48:44,030
Fuck, you'll go
straight to the pros!
1100
00:48:56,076 --> 00:48:57,677
Please...
1101
00:48:57,711 --> 00:48:59,745
You think you'll live if I drop
you on your head? I don't.
1102
00:48:59,780 --> 00:49:00,746
Lip!
1103
00:49:00,781 --> 00:49:02,748
Shit!
1104
00:49:02,783 --> 00:49:03,616
Shit!
1105
00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:04,350
Get him back inside!
1106
00:49:04,384 --> 00:49:05,985
Back off,
1107
00:49:06,019 --> 00:49:08,888
or I'll throw you out, too.
Let him go!
1108
00:49:08,922 --> 00:49:10,222
Get my brother
back in the house,
1109
00:49:10,257 --> 00:49:11,257
or the kid swings the bat.
1110
00:49:11,291 --> 00:49:12,625
Okay, okay.
Now!
1111
00:49:12,659 --> 00:49:14,694
Keep your shit straight;
I'll pull him in.
1112
00:49:14,728 --> 00:49:15,695
IAN: Hey, now!
Come on!
1113
00:49:15,729 --> 00:49:16,729
What the hell is going on?
1114
00:49:16,763 --> 00:49:17,897
Carl's got it covered.
1115
00:49:17,931 --> 00:49:20,032
(panting)
1116
00:49:20,067 --> 00:49:22,335
I was just joking.
1117
00:49:22,369 --> 00:49:24,203
Okay?
1118
00:49:24,237 --> 00:49:25,371
Okay?
1119
00:49:29,543 --> 00:49:32,378
(grunts)
(all groaning)
1120
00:50:08,248 --> 00:50:13,352
Hey, uh, uh, you ever been
with a black guy?
1121
00:50:13,387 --> 00:50:14,723
Does rape count?
1122
00:50:16,521 --> 00:50:17,454
Um...
1123
00:50:18,387 --> 00:50:20,455
I was acquitted.
1124
00:50:20,489 --> 00:50:22,504
(both laughing)
1125
00:50:22,704 --> 00:50:32,904
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com