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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Think of all
the luck you got ♪
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♪ Know that it's not
for naught ♪
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♪ You were beaming once before ♪
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♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪
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♪ What is this downside ♪
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♪ That you speak of? ♪
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♪ What is this feeling
you're so sure of? ♪
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♪ Round up the friends you got ♪
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♪ Know that they're
not for naught ♪
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♪ You were willing once before ♪
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00:00:56,886 --> 00:01:01,256
♪ But it's not like that
anymore ♪
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♪ What is this downside ♪
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♪ That you speak of? ♪
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♪ What is this feeling ♪
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♪ You're so... sure of? ♪
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I wasn't even thinking
about getting married
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until he brought it up.
Now I'm, like, obsessed.
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Phillips.
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Wasn't he drunk
when he proposed?
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Oh, yeah. It was like that
David Hasselhoff video,
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eating a cheeseburger.
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I never saw that.
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Oh, you gotta YouTube it.
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It's like a car wreck...
you can't not watch.
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00:01:33,534 --> 00:01:34,601
You really want a drunk proposal
27
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to be the story you tell
your grandkids?
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00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:37,938
My husband proposed to me
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at the top of the Sears Tower.
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Champagne and roses.
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00:01:41,409 --> 00:01:43,343
Six months into the marriage,
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I found out he was
fucking my sister.
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(sighs)
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And the moral of the story is?
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My sister's a bitch.
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Other than the presents
and the booze,
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give me three good reasons
why you want to get married.
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Lots of people who
love each other
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get married every day, Fiona.
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I don't know, V.
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The way things are between
you and Kevin right now,
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What do you get for that?
45
00:02:21,415 --> 00:02:22,749
What?
46
00:02:22,783 --> 00:02:23,883
What are they paying
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for the neck thing, disability?
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674 bucks a month.
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(laughs)
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That's what I get.
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But look, I can do this.
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(chuckles)
53
00:02:51,579 --> 00:02:54,581
While I admire your commitment,
I gotta tell ya,
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it's a bit over the top.
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00:02:56,984 --> 00:03:01,187
(speaking Hungarian)
56
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,991
I told 'em I get migraines.
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Genius, huh?
Huh?
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Try proving I don't have 'em.
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(chuckles)
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I bet it itches like
you got crabs in there.
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(sniffing)
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Kev, come out.
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You done?
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Why are we getting married?
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What?
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Other than the presents
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and the booze, can you tell me
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three good reasons why you
want to get married?
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Not really.
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Wait a minute... this isn't
one of those tests, is it?
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00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:48,101
One of those woman things
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where I'm supposed
to change your mind?
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If it is, you just failed.
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00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:53,640
You saying you don't want
to get married?
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00:03:53,674 --> 00:03:55,608
No, I mean, things between
us are pretty great.
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I don't want to ruin it.
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What would we tell people?
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That the wedding's off.
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00:04:00,214 --> 00:04:01,514
No one's damn business why.
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00:04:01,549 --> 00:04:02,515
Yeah?
81
00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:03,616
Yeah.
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00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:06,986
Well, great then.
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Guess I gotta tell Mama.
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Oh, yeah.
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That's gonna suck.
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She's on her way over to talk
about the blessed event.
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I am gonna miss getting
a free KitchenAid mixer.
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Can we still
register for gifts,
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even though you're
not getting married?
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00:04:24,705 --> 00:04:25,939
I got a gift for ya.
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00:04:25,973 --> 00:04:27,807
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
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00:04:27,842 --> 00:04:29,843
(both chuckle)
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♪ Here comes the bride,
all dressed in white! ♪
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Which I think you can
still get away with, baby.
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(squeals, laughs)
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Hey, Mama.
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Oh, I can't believe it!
Oh, I can't believe it!
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I can't believe this!
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What happened?
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Nothing happened, Mama.
We just deci...
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How could you do this to me?
Look, Mama,
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nothing's gonna change.
Kev and I are still together.
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Yeah, Mama...
Don't call me Mama.
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We're just cutting out
all the paperwork, right?
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00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:06,045
You know, and besides, until
gay people can get married
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in this state, I'm not gonna.
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You know this isn't what
your father wants.
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You know that, don't you?
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Daddy's dead, Mama.
He doesn't really want anything.
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Your daddy, rest his soul, wants
to see his little girl married.
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Look, Mama...
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That's why he set aside a little
something for you for once you
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finally settled down.
A little what?
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00:05:25,666 --> 00:05:28,234
Your daddy left you money
for your first home
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00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:30,336
once you got married.
A house?
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Yeah, he thought
it might keep you
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from being somebody's baby mama.
How much?
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I don't know! He wanted
the envelope opened
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on your wedding day.
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Now I guess we'll never know.
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I just... I never knew
how much it meant to Daddy.
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The world.
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00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:49,322
Maybe we should
reconsider, babe.
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But what about the gay people?
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They got their parades.
They can wait.
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(sighs)
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It's hot. I'm hot.
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Are you guys hot?
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Hot!
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(knocking on door)
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Coming!
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(sighs)
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Hey.
Pee.
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Oh, it's fresh?
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Clean as a whistle.
136
00:06:26,227 --> 00:06:29,028
Thanks, Fiona... you have
no idea what this means to me.
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Means you get to smoke weed
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and keep your government
job, and I get to eat.
139
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,734
It's lasagna,
straight from the oven.
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00:06:34,768 --> 00:06:36,102
It's still warm.
So's this.
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00:06:36,136 --> 00:06:38,738
Keep it that way,
if you want to pass.
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Lunch!
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Eat it or miss it, people!
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Thanks. Bye.
145
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What, more piss food?
146
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You know it.
All right!
147
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Cup-a-lasagna, anyone?
Right here.
148
00:06:51,919 --> 00:06:53,653
Who was on dishes today?
149
00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:55,888
IAN: Uh, I'll get
them after lunch.
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00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:58,825
VERONICA: Hey, Debs, you
ready to go to Target?
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00:06:58,859 --> 00:06:59,892
Yeah, sure.
152
00:06:59,927 --> 00:07:01,227
What's that smell?
153
00:07:01,262 --> 00:07:03,396
It's either vomit
or fancy cheese.
154
00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:05,398
It can be both if you want.
155
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:07,934
FIONA: Target?
156
00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:11,237
Deb's gonna go help me register
for wedding gifts.
157
00:07:11,272 --> 00:07:12,905
I thought the wedding was off?
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VERONICA: Back on.
159
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:16,109
Kev know?
Uh-huh.
160
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Oh!
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Hey-hey!
162
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Mmm... damn.
You tell that girl Sonny I will
163
00:07:22,082 --> 00:07:23,650
crap on a paper plate for her
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if it'll get me
some of this grub.
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WOMAN: Francis Gallagher. Yeah.
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(sighs heavily)
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Drop your pants.
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I don't see how that has
any bearings on my migraines.
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00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,183
Me neither, but it's on
the State form.
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Drop 'em, sailor.
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(huffing)
172
00:08:00,754 --> 00:08:02,955
Yeah.
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00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:05,091
Still cold. (chuckles)
174
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,592
Cough.
(coughs)
175
00:08:06,627 --> 00:08:08,328
Again.
176
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,295
(coughs)
177
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,396
Again.
178
00:08:10,431 --> 00:08:11,898
(coughs)
179
00:08:11,932 --> 00:08:13,433
That's weird.
180
00:08:13,467 --> 00:08:17,337
Have you ever done
a testicular self-examination?
181
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,705
Oh, God, no.
182
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:21,274
I say leave those three
bad boys down there alone.
183
00:08:21,308 --> 00:08:22,575
Yeah, well, that's the problem.
184
00:08:22,609 --> 00:08:26,245
Should only be two testicles
invited to this party.
185
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,513
What's this?
186
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:28,681
I need you and your testicles
187
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,683
back here tomorrow
for a biopsy.
188
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,618
So, I got an extra passenger
on board.
189
00:08:32,653 --> 00:08:33,853
What's the big deal?
190
00:08:33,887 --> 00:08:35,088
Normal number's two.
191
00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:37,924
Not for me.
Third guy's always been there.
192
00:08:37,958 --> 00:08:40,526
He's my lucky charm.
Gave me six kids.
193
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,829
Mmm. Probably benign then.
194
00:08:42,863 --> 00:08:46,099
You're smart not to worry
till you do a biopsy.
195
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,368
Gives you something
to worry about.
196
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,136
Yeah.
197
00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,046
Uh, pretty sure you can't bring
a baby into a bar, ma'am.
198
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,882
And I'm pretty sure you can't
get married if you already are.
199
00:09:02,916 --> 00:09:03,983
Yeah, I know, I know.
200
00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:05,385
Why the hell
doesn't she know yet?
201
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,754
'Cause... I'm afraid to tell her.
Kev...
202
00:09:07,788 --> 00:09:09,922
I don't want to
make her sad, Fi.
203
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:11,791
It would break my heart
to hurt her.
204
00:09:11,825 --> 00:09:14,827
Just tell her the truth, Kev.
205
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:16,796
If you don't, I will.
206
00:09:18,866 --> 00:09:21,401
Can you hit me
with a milk refill?
207
00:09:24,037 --> 00:09:25,204
The devil's in my balls, Billy,
208
00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:26,839
and he's comin'
for the rest of me.
209
00:09:26,874 --> 00:09:29,308
Let's hope he can swim.
210
00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:30,843
Why, Billy? Why me?
211
00:09:30,878 --> 00:09:32,545
Because you're
an asshole, Frank.
212
00:09:32,579 --> 00:09:35,481
Doc says it's probably benign.
213
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:38,584
Look at Lance Armstrong.
He had that ball cancer.
214
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,953
Yeah, he ends up fucking
a rock star. (guffaws)
215
00:09:40,988 --> 00:09:42,755
That's right!
That's right! See?
216
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:43,890
Hey, baby!
217
00:09:43,924 --> 00:09:46,192
Hey-hey!
218
00:09:46,226 --> 00:09:48,127
How you doing?
219
00:09:48,162 --> 00:09:50,062
Okay, I know that
this is silly,
220
00:09:50,097 --> 00:09:51,798
but I'm really starting
to get excited
221
00:09:51,832 --> 00:09:52,832
about this whole wedding thing.
222
00:09:52,866 --> 00:09:55,468
The gifts and the wedding
223
00:09:55,502 --> 00:09:56,903
and being Mrs. Kevin Ball.
224
00:09:56,937 --> 00:09:58,137
(chuckles)
225
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:00,673
You know old man
Parson's place on Fifth?
226
00:10:00,707 --> 00:10:02,608
I think we should buy it.
227
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:03,876
What?
228
00:10:03,911 --> 00:10:05,745
You know, the one where
the son went crazy
229
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,113
and hit him with an axe?
230
00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:09,081
It's for sale and
I think we should start,
231
00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:10,283
like, getting
our stuff together...
232
00:10:10,317 --> 00:10:12,885
all the loans and
credit scores and all that.
233
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,287
What's the matter, babe?
234
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:18,191
I'm sure they got
the blood cleaned up by now.
235
00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:24,464
I can't marry you, Veronica.
236
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,001
I'm already married.
237
00:10:31,572 --> 00:10:33,539
She's beautiful.
238
00:10:34,575 --> 00:10:36,476
She's a head case.
239
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:37,743
She used to throw plates at me.
240
00:10:37,778 --> 00:10:39,078
She couldn't handle her booze.
241
00:10:39,112 --> 00:10:40,580
That's how I got the scars
on the back of my neck.
242
00:10:40,614 --> 00:10:42,248
Baby, you have no idea
243
00:10:42,282 --> 00:10:44,617
how many times I wanted to
tell you over the years,
244
00:10:44,651 --> 00:10:48,120
but the more time went on,
the more unreal it all seemed.
245
00:10:49,923 --> 00:10:52,124
Look like a douche bag
with that mullet.
246
00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:56,128
(sighs)
Oh, I can't believe this.
247
00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:58,464
VERONICA: Guess we can forget
about buying a house.
248
00:10:58,499 --> 00:10:59,632
KEVIN Yeah.
249
00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:00,833
FIONA: Maybe not.
250
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,268
What do you mean?
251
00:11:02,302 --> 00:11:04,103
You don't actually have
to get married, do you?
252
00:11:04,137 --> 00:11:06,439
I mean, your mom
wants a wedding.
253
00:11:06,473 --> 00:11:08,307
So, give her one.
254
00:11:08,342 --> 00:11:11,244
I could get ordained online.
255
00:11:11,278 --> 00:11:13,112
Then we just don't file
the license with the state.
256
00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:14,680
A fake wedding.
(laughing)
257
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,516
(laughs)
258
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,184
Why not?
259
00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:19,352
You'd still be married.
260
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:21,854
It just won't be legal.
261
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:23,589
Yeah, but what's
the point then?
262
00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:25,191
All the free shit, baby!
263
00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:26,359
Oh. Oh, damn!
264
00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:27,527
Oh, baby, come on.
265
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:28,995
That would've sucked.
266
00:11:29,029 --> 00:11:31,631
Showing up at your wedding
fucking paralyzed and shit?
267
00:11:31,665 --> 00:11:33,933
Yeah. Oh, shit.
268
00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:38,838
Looks a bit like Top Ramen
in there, doesn't it?
269
00:11:41,341 --> 00:11:44,310
Sweetie, would you like
me to come with you
270
00:11:44,344 --> 00:11:45,845
to your the biopsy?
271
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,914
No, it's probably nothing.
272
00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:49,949
A benign cyst.
273
00:11:49,983 --> 00:11:51,150
An ingrown hair.
274
00:11:51,184 --> 00:11:52,718
Yes, I think you're right.
275
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,754
You're gonna be just fine.
276
00:11:57,157 --> 00:11:59,058
(sobs)
277
00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:01,160
Why the hell are you crying?
278
00:12:01,194 --> 00:12:03,863
(crying)
279
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,802
I knew it was
too good to be true.
280
00:12:09,836 --> 00:12:11,370
You're gonna die.
281
00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:13,172
Jesus, Sheila,
I'm not gonna die.
282
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:15,174
I haven't even had
the biopsy yet.
283
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:16,576
It was probably that
nut-vise sex toy
284
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,144
of hers that gave
you the damn cancer.
285
00:12:18,178 --> 00:12:20,880
I'm gonna need the house
next week for Bible study.
286
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:23,516
We're doing the
Passion Play again.
287
00:12:23,550 --> 00:12:25,585
It might get noisy.
288
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,520
(crying)
289
00:12:27,554 --> 00:12:29,155
(sighs)
290
00:12:34,328 --> 00:12:37,163
I have two plots
291
00:12:37,197 --> 00:12:39,165
at Oak Woods Cemetery.
292
00:12:39,199 --> 00:12:41,200
One was for Eddie.
293
00:12:41,234 --> 00:12:42,902
Nothing would make me happier
294
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:45,571
than to bury you
in one of them.
295
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,675
(whispers): Wait there for me.
296
00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:53,746
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
297
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,615
(church bell tolling)
298
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,483
CAROL:
He married your father and I,
299
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,118
Aunt Rochelle, Uncle Bobby,
and cousin Jimmy with the...
300
00:12:59,152 --> 00:13:00,419
you know, that
first wife of his,
301
00:13:00,454 --> 00:13:01,721
the one with the cleft palate.
302
00:13:01,755 --> 00:13:03,389
PRIEST: A cleft palate
303
00:13:03,423 --> 00:13:05,625
is merely the mark God leaves
304
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:06,993
when he kisses a person
305
00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:08,761
before they're born.
306
00:13:08,795 --> 00:13:10,930
That girl's mama
just skipped the folic acid.
307
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,531
I'm gonna need you both
308
00:13:12,566 --> 00:13:16,702
to come to my weekend
Engagement Encounter retreat.
309
00:13:16,737 --> 00:13:18,104
It covers all of the.
310
00:13:18,138 --> 00:13:20,539
Pre-Cana material necessary
311
00:13:20,574 --> 00:13:22,875
for you to be married
with God's blessing.
312
00:13:22,909 --> 00:13:25,244
Uh, could you excuse us
for just a second, please?
313
00:13:27,547 --> 00:13:30,216
Might be kind of fun to do
it at a church outing, huh?
314
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:31,884
Veronica, that man
in there is a priest.
315
00:13:31,918 --> 00:13:33,552
He's gonna require a license.
316
00:13:33,587 --> 00:13:34,754
A marriage license.
317
00:13:34,788 --> 00:13:37,089
And I'm pretty sure
bigamy is still a felony
318
00:13:37,124 --> 00:13:38,958
in the state of Illinois.
319
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,060
Why did you let your mom
drag us down here?
320
00:13:41,094 --> 00:13:42,595
You know that Mama
wasn't gonna take no.
321
00:13:42,629 --> 00:13:44,096
What about Fiona?
Wasn't she gonna marry us?
322
00:13:44,131 --> 00:13:46,132
Relax, baby. I got this.
323
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,601
You know what, Mama?
324
00:13:48,635 --> 00:13:51,137
We already have someone that's
gonna do the wedding for us.
325
00:13:51,171 --> 00:13:53,873
Is this some healing hands,
voodoo, wheat grass jackass?
326
00:13:53,907 --> 00:13:55,975
Because that is not a wedding
in the Lord's eyes.
327
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,143
Go ahead, tell them, Father.
328
00:13:57,177 --> 00:13:58,477
Tell them
329
00:13:58,512 --> 00:14:00,613
that it's not a wedding
in the Lord's eyes.
330
00:14:00,647 --> 00:14:02,615
Well, I know this...
331
00:14:02,649 --> 00:14:07,253
that just like the honeybee,
God has many eyes.
332
00:14:07,287 --> 00:14:10,122
Look, it has to be a priest.
333
00:14:10,157 --> 00:14:12,158
That's what your father
wanted, that's what I want
334
00:14:12,192 --> 00:14:13,793
and that's what the Lord wants.
335
00:14:15,529 --> 00:14:17,697
Wedding's not gonna work.
336
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:18,798
What happened?
337
00:14:18,832 --> 00:14:20,399
Mama wants a real priest.
338
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,468
Sheila said she'd make your
wedding dress, if you want.
339
00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:24,837
Oh, that's nice, but what
good is a dress
340
00:14:24,871 --> 00:14:26,539
if I don't have a priest?
341
00:14:26,573 --> 00:14:28,007
You could hire an actor.
342
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:30,242
Remember the guy who played
Elmo at my birthday party?
343
00:14:30,277 --> 00:14:31,677
You remember that?
344
00:14:31,712 --> 00:14:32,778
He took his head off.
345
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,580
It was traumatizing.
346
00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:35,948
You think an actor could work?
347
00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:37,349
You know what?
I could probably get.
348
00:14:37,384 --> 00:14:39,151
Father Pete to do it
if Carl will help.
349
00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:41,520
What's it gonna cost me?
350
00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:43,289
Uh, Karen and I use your place
Friday night?
351
00:14:43,323 --> 00:14:44,290
Done.
352
00:14:44,324 --> 00:14:45,991
Father Pete, the groper?
353
00:14:46,026 --> 00:14:47,293
God willing.
354
00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:48,861
We got hot dogs?
355
00:14:48,895 --> 00:14:50,730
Mmm, no hot dogs.
356
00:14:57,437 --> 00:14:59,071
What?
357
00:15:04,377 --> 00:15:05,411
Excuse me.
358
00:15:05,445 --> 00:15:07,480
Better late than never.
359
00:15:07,514 --> 00:15:10,216
Even better on time.
What's with the costume?
360
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:14,220
ROTC. I made Cadet
Lieutenant Colonel today.
361
00:15:14,254 --> 00:15:15,521
You did? That's great!
Yeah.
362
00:15:15,555 --> 00:15:16,489
Congratulations.
363
00:15:16,523 --> 00:15:18,657
When I get back,
364
00:15:18,692 --> 00:15:19,925
I want the new stock shelved
365
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,494
with all of the labels
facing the same direction.
366
00:15:21,528 --> 00:15:22,495
Where are you going?
367
00:15:22,529 --> 00:15:24,296
Your head is like a funnel.
368
00:15:24,331 --> 00:15:25,431
The Boy Scout trip
is this weekend.
369
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:27,833
They have Muslim Boy Scouts?
370
00:15:27,868 --> 00:15:29,468
It's similar. The motto
is still "Be prepared,"
371
00:15:29,503 --> 00:15:31,203
but you learn how
to work with chemicals
372
00:15:31,238 --> 00:15:32,338
instead of tying knots.
373
00:15:32,372 --> 00:15:33,572
(Ian chuckles)
374
00:15:33,607 --> 00:15:35,407
The troop is sponsored
by the Baptist church.
375
00:15:35,442 --> 00:15:37,009
They give us free outfits
and overnights,
376
00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:38,444
and we let 'em think
we're assimilating.
377
00:15:38,478 --> 00:15:40,846
Everybody wins.
378
00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:43,082
I'll be back Sunday night.
379
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,652
Lieutenant Colonel?
380
00:15:46,686 --> 00:15:48,320
I'm so proud of you.
381
00:15:48,355 --> 00:15:50,322
It's not that big of a deal.
382
00:15:50,357 --> 00:15:52,258
Linda and the boys are
gone for two nights.
383
00:15:52,292 --> 00:15:55,628
We're gonna have a whole night
together to celebrate.
384
00:16:16,249 --> 00:16:18,584
(grunts)
Oh, God!
Good God!
385
00:16:18,618 --> 00:16:19,819
I'm sorry!
386
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:20,986
Jesus Christ!
387
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,822
Was that the biopsy?!
388
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,356
(grunting) I'm
gonna take a look.
389
00:16:26,326 --> 00:16:28,260
I'm just gonna take a look.
390
00:16:32,232 --> 00:16:33,566
Okay, well,
391
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,601
that is definitely better.
392
00:16:36,636 --> 00:16:38,103
I think you're okay.
393
00:16:38,138 --> 00:16:41,073
Well, now, yeah.
394
00:16:41,107 --> 00:16:43,008
I'm just gonna shave you, okay?
395
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:49,215
I've never been shaved down
there before.
396
00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:51,517
Just doing a small section.
397
00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:53,452
(spray bottle hisses)
398
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,559
Okay? Oh!
399
00:17:00,594 --> 00:17:02,661
I'm sorry about that.
400
00:17:05,332 --> 00:17:06,799
(chuckles)
401
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,500
Maybe I could come back later
402
00:17:08,535 --> 00:17:10,469
and you could shave
the other two.
403
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:15,608
There. All done.
404
00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:19,712
Ooh! It feels like Spring!
405
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:24,717
Wish I could say
this wasn't gonna hurt.
406
00:17:26,486 --> 00:17:27,887
(Frank screaming)
407
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,122
You don't have to go
too crazy here, Sheila,
408
00:17:30,156 --> 00:17:32,358
but as close to Vera Wang
as you can get.
409
00:17:32,392 --> 00:17:34,460
You are going to make
a beautiful bride.
410
00:17:34,494 --> 00:17:36,762
Aw, Sheila, you're making
me feel like Cinderella.
411
00:17:36,796 --> 00:17:37,930
Aw...
412
00:17:37,964 --> 00:17:40,966
Screw Cinderella.
Little doe-eyed bitch.
413
00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:43,736
Probably one of the worst role
models for little girls.
414
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:46,338
I think Cinderella was
a feminist.
415
00:17:46,373 --> 00:17:48,574
The whole idea of marriage is
a useless vestige
416
00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:50,843
of an archaic civilization.
417
00:17:50,877 --> 00:17:52,311
How would you know?
418
00:17:52,345 --> 00:17:54,013
I watched one unravel.
419
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:57,983
Oh, so one example of a bad one
makes them all bad, hmm?
420
00:17:58,018 --> 00:17:59,785
Hmm? In olden times,
marriage was nothing more
421
00:17:59,819 --> 00:18:02,454
than a legal exchange
of women for property.
422
00:18:02,489 --> 00:18:03,656
Maybe you're being
a little pessimistic.
423
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:05,858
It's just a piece of paper!
424
00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:08,360
A birth certificate
is just a piece of paper.
425
00:18:08,395 --> 00:18:10,796
And money... money is
just a piece of paper.
426
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:13,799
But those are pretty valuable.
427
00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:15,167
True.
428
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:16,969
Hey, Gloria Steinem,
enough of the blah-blah.
429
00:18:17,003 --> 00:18:18,671
Let's talk bachelorette party.
430
00:18:18,705 --> 00:18:20,506
I got that covered,
don't worry.
431
00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:22,141
Oh, you better.
Mm-hmm.
432
00:18:22,175 --> 00:18:23,943
♪ 'Cause we gonna be doing it ♪
433
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,444
♪ Uh-huh, mm-hmm! ♪
You sing it, lady!
434
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:26,445
Let's go. Let's go!
435
00:18:26,479 --> 00:18:28,714
WOMAN: Feeling sick,
436
00:18:28,748 --> 00:18:31,150
feeling tired,
seeing more of my oncologist
437
00:18:31,184 --> 00:18:35,220
than I see of my whole family.
438
00:18:35,255 --> 00:18:38,924
The hardest thing for me
to accept is the fact
439
00:18:38,959 --> 00:18:40,459
that I can't fix this.
440
00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:42,561
I'm so used to being the mom,
you know?
441
00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:48,167
The one who takes care
of everyone and everything.
442
00:18:48,201 --> 00:18:49,535
The fixer.
443
00:18:49,569 --> 00:18:51,537
And this is breast cancer.
444
00:18:51,571 --> 00:18:57,543
(voice breaking):
I can't fix this.
445
00:18:57,577 --> 00:19:01,080
Just knowing your tits are
trying to kill you...
446
00:19:01,114 --> 00:19:02,648
that's gotta suck.
447
00:19:02,682 --> 00:19:05,317
I mean, mine's in my balls.
448
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,953
At least they've got a reason
to be pissed.
449
00:19:07,988 --> 00:19:11,890
Tucked between two legs,
wedged right near your asshole.
450
00:19:11,925 --> 00:19:16,228
There's no good way to sit,
no underwear that's been devised
451
00:19:16,262 --> 00:19:19,565
to hold 'em
effectively in place.
452
00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:21,767
They're a bizarre appendage.
453
00:19:21,801 --> 00:19:23,135
An afterthought.
454
00:19:23,169 --> 00:19:26,472
Which is why I don't believe in
intelligent design.
455
00:19:26,506 --> 00:19:28,741
There is no God.
456
00:19:28,775 --> 00:19:31,543
We're all gonna die.
457
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,883
Why do I have to do it?
458
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,385
LIP: 'Cause you're the only one
459
00:19:39,419 --> 00:19:41,053
who's young enough
to be an altar boy.
460
00:19:41,087 --> 00:19:42,988
We'll stop him before
anything goes down.
461
00:19:43,023 --> 00:19:44,056
Or anyone.
462
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:45,090
(both laugh)
463
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,595
(knocks)
464
00:19:49,629 --> 00:19:51,730
The Gallagher boys.
465
00:19:51,765 --> 00:19:53,932
If you're here to steal
the noon offering basket,
466
00:19:53,967 --> 00:19:55,034
you're out of luck.
467
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,069
Already off to the bank.
No, no.
468
00:19:57,103 --> 00:20:00,072
Carl here is interested
in being an altar boy.
469
00:20:00,106 --> 00:20:01,407
That's a big responsibility.
470
00:20:01,441 --> 00:20:02,875
Yeah, we know.
471
00:20:02,909 --> 00:20:04,810
We tried talking him out of it,
but he cried and cried,
472
00:20:04,844 --> 00:20:06,011
so we thought we'd bring him in,
473
00:20:06,046 --> 00:20:07,579
see if you thought
he had what it takes.
474
00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:10,382
Hello there, Carl.
475
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,485
Be back for ya in a bit, bud.
476
00:20:18,825 --> 00:20:21,727
Want to watch Scarface
again tonight?
477
00:20:21,761 --> 00:20:23,128
Can't. Got a date.
478
00:20:23,163 --> 00:20:25,664
Ooh, a Mandy date or Kash date?
479
00:20:25,698 --> 00:20:27,332
Kash date.
480
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,768
You're a slut, man.
481
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:31,837
(thud, man groans)
482
00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:33,405
Shit!
483
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,873
(priest groaning)
484
00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:39,144
Looks like we have a priest
for V's wedding.
485
00:20:39,179 --> 00:20:40,179
(priest groans)
486
00:20:40,213 --> 00:20:42,548
A fake priest?
487
00:20:42,582 --> 00:20:44,016
No, no, priest is real.
488
00:20:44,050 --> 00:20:45,684
We're just not gonna file
the license.
489
00:20:45,718 --> 00:20:46,852
A little immoral,
don't you think?
490
00:20:46,886 --> 00:20:47,986
Like lying to God's face?
491
00:20:48,021 --> 00:20:49,021
Really, Mr. Morality?
492
00:20:49,055 --> 00:20:51,023
Whose car is this that we're in?
493
00:20:51,057 --> 00:20:52,591
It's not like I have
a priest in the back.
494
00:20:52,625 --> 00:20:54,827
Are you still picking up
the cake?
495
00:20:54,861 --> 00:20:56,295
Angelica's Bakery.
496
00:20:56,329 --> 00:20:59,064
Hey, can Kev and V use
this car for their big exit
497
00:20:59,099 --> 00:21:00,165
after the reception?
498
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,366
Uh, yeah, I think
that could work.
499
00:21:01,401 --> 00:21:02,768
I just, I need it back
right after.
500
00:21:02,802 --> 00:21:04,369
Okay.
501
00:21:04,404 --> 00:21:05,804
You can't do anything
bad to it.
502
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:07,573
And no sex in it.
503
00:21:07,607 --> 00:21:08,774
No sex in it?
504
00:21:11,544 --> 00:21:14,046
I just need this thing
in perfect condition.
505
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,114
All right, Fiona,
506
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,648
I just... Whoa, whoa!
(tires squeal)
507
00:21:16,683 --> 00:21:18,283
(siren wails)
Aw, damn it! Damn it!
508
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:20,119
Jesus!
509
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,120
Relax, relax.
510
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:22,321
It happens, okay?
511
00:21:22,355 --> 00:21:24,623
Yeah? What happens,
prison time?
512
00:21:34,567 --> 00:21:35,634
Hey, Fiona.
513
00:21:35,668 --> 00:21:37,503
I thought that was you.
514
00:21:37,537 --> 00:21:39,671
Your uniform looks different.
515
00:21:39,706 --> 00:21:42,641
Yeah, they issued new coats.
516
00:21:42,675 --> 00:21:44,810
See you at Kev and Veronica's
wedding tomorrow?
517
00:21:44,844 --> 00:21:47,946
Yeah. I'm gonna need to see your
license and registration, sir.
518
00:21:47,981 --> 00:21:51,016
What? Why, Officer, sir?
519
00:21:51,050 --> 00:21:52,885
Well, you were
doing 35 in a 25.
520
00:21:52,919 --> 00:21:54,119
And there was some swerving.
521
00:21:54,154 --> 00:21:55,554
That was kind of weird.
522
00:21:55,588 --> 00:21:57,723
Here's my license,
but I actually don't have
523
00:21:57,757 --> 00:21:59,458
the registration.
It's actually my friend's car.
524
00:21:59,492 --> 00:22:02,094
You really are supposed to
have that on you at all times.
525
00:22:02,128 --> 00:22:03,729
Let me see what I can do.
526
00:22:03,763 --> 00:22:04,830
I'll be right back.
527
00:22:04,864 --> 00:22:05,998
Okay.
528
00:22:06,032 --> 00:22:07,699
Why did you give him
your license?!
529
00:22:07,734 --> 00:22:08,734
That's not my real license.
530
00:22:08,768 --> 00:22:10,302
Yeah, so now what? We run?
531
00:22:10,336 --> 00:22:11,803
(phone beeps on)
No, that never works.
532
00:22:12,872 --> 00:22:14,540
Jesus, you got me?
533
00:22:14,574 --> 00:22:15,941
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
(phone beeps off)
534
00:22:15,975 --> 00:22:17,576
Well, who's Jesus?
535
00:22:17,610 --> 00:22:20,345
Follow car.
Always use a follow car.
536
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,848
(four gunshots)
537
00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:27,252
(siren wails)
538
00:22:27,287 --> 00:22:29,221
(horn honking)
539
00:22:32,759 --> 00:22:35,160
Watch your speed, sir.
See you at the wedding, Fi.
540
00:22:35,195 --> 00:22:36,428
Okay!
541
00:22:36,462 --> 00:22:37,763
Out.
What?
542
00:22:37,797 --> 00:22:39,665
Get out!
Oh!
543
00:22:44,971 --> 00:22:46,104
What about the car?
544
00:22:46,139 --> 00:22:47,839
Taken care of.
545
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,049
My heart's in my
throat right now.
546
00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:58,550
It's adrenaline.
It's kinda cool, isn't it?
547
00:23:09,629 --> 00:23:10,829
(horn honking urgently)
548
00:23:10,863 --> 00:23:12,064
I'll see you at the wedding.
549
00:23:12,098 --> 00:23:13,398
What?
550
00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:16,368
Angelica's Bakery, right?
Yeah, right.
551
00:23:18,905 --> 00:23:22,241
FRANK: I've decided to start
wearing a tie every day.
552
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:26,078
I could die at any moment.
553
00:23:26,112 --> 00:23:29,681
I thought it'd be nice
to look my best
554
00:23:29,716 --> 00:23:32,384
for the Grim Reaper.
Son of a bitch.
555
00:23:35,154 --> 00:23:36,321
You know what?
556
00:23:36,356 --> 00:23:37,556
Fuck him.
557
00:23:38,825 --> 00:23:39,958
Fuck him!
558
00:23:39,993 --> 00:23:41,793
Why give him the satisfaction?
559
00:23:41,828 --> 00:23:43,061
I'll do it myself.
560
00:23:43,096 --> 00:23:44,630
Take my own goddamn life.
561
00:23:46,899 --> 00:23:49,268
You know...
562
00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,036
you know what the real shame
563
00:23:51,070 --> 00:23:52,471
of it is, Kev?
564
00:23:52,505 --> 00:23:58,577
The real shame is there are so
many things I still want to do.
565
00:23:58,611 --> 00:24:00,379
Oh, yeah? Like what?
566
00:24:02,515 --> 00:24:03,949
(splutter, sighs)
567
00:24:03,983 --> 00:24:06,418
Jesus Christ! I don't know.
568
00:24:06,452 --> 00:24:07,853
I don't know!
569
00:24:07,887 --> 00:24:09,821
How sad is that?
570
00:24:09,856 --> 00:24:12,991
A man who doesn't even know
what he wants to do.
571
00:24:13,026 --> 00:24:14,326
MAN: Whoo-hoo!
572
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,927
Hey, what's going on?
Yeah, buddy!
573
00:24:15,962 --> 00:24:17,129
What's this?
574
00:24:17,163 --> 00:24:18,997
You gotta wear it tonight
for the bachelor party.
575
00:24:19,032 --> 00:24:21,566
Everyone's gonna be
wearing one.
576
00:24:21,601 --> 00:24:23,735
Andy, get the fuck out of here.
I'm not gonna...
577
00:24:23,770 --> 00:24:25,504
Don't be a dick, dude!
Fuckin' wear it!
578
00:24:25,538 --> 00:24:26,905
FRANK: Bachelor party?
579
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,742
Yeah, if you wanna go,
you can come.
580
00:24:30,777 --> 00:24:32,377
What's the plan?
581
00:24:32,412 --> 00:24:34,246
Me and my friends are gonna get
582
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,614
wasted and do some stupid shit.
583
00:24:35,648 --> 00:24:37,382
But we gotta get you one
of these.
584
00:24:40,987 --> 00:24:43,789
Awesome. (laughs)
585
00:24:43,823 --> 00:24:45,791
IAN: Is the blindfold
for the element of surprise
586
00:24:45,825 --> 00:24:47,492
or so I don't know
where you live?
587
00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:48,560
A little of both.
588
00:24:48,594 --> 00:24:51,797
Ooh!
589
00:24:51,831 --> 00:24:54,399
♪ Ta-da! ♪
590
00:24:55,435 --> 00:24:58,403
Oh...
591
00:24:58,438 --> 00:24:59,471
Oh.
592
00:24:59,505 --> 00:25:02,507
Wow, yeah.
593
00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:03,842
This is your house.
594
00:25:03,876 --> 00:25:06,078
Where you live with Linda...
595
00:25:06,112 --> 00:25:07,112
and the kids.
596
00:25:07,146 --> 00:25:09,081
And now it's our house.
597
00:25:10,583 --> 00:25:11,750
(sighs)
598
00:25:14,787 --> 00:25:16,355
(sighs)
599
00:25:31,904 --> 00:25:33,672
What's wrong?
600
00:25:33,706 --> 00:25:35,640
Sorry.
It's just, it's too weird.
601
00:25:35,675 --> 00:25:36,808
What is?
602
00:25:36,843 --> 00:25:38,110
All of your shit.
603
00:25:38,144 --> 00:25:39,811
It's, it's freaking me out!
604
00:25:39,846 --> 00:25:41,513
It smells like goats
in here, man.
605
00:25:41,547 --> 00:25:43,215
Ian, wait!
606
00:25:45,351 --> 00:25:47,552
(rock music blaring)
607
00:26:02,335 --> 00:26:04,069
VERONICA:
But why would she do it
608
00:26:04,103 --> 00:26:06,004
in the first place, Fi?
609
00:26:06,038 --> 00:26:07,539
Because she could!
610
00:26:07,573 --> 00:26:10,175
She was like one of those
weird Chinese acrobats.
611
00:26:10,209 --> 00:26:11,676
Oh! No, those
girls are all tiny
612
00:26:11,711 --> 00:26:13,011
and cute when they do it!
613
00:26:13,045 --> 00:26:16,014
She was like Pippi Longstocking
kissing her own ass!
614
00:26:16,048 --> 00:26:17,048
(both laughing)
615
00:26:17,083 --> 00:26:18,550
Jesus!
616
00:26:18,584 --> 00:26:21,386
Dad, what the hell
happened to you?
617
00:26:21,421 --> 00:26:22,788
Cord was too long.
618
00:26:22,822 --> 00:26:25,490
I got three nuts. Gonna die.
619
00:26:27,326 --> 00:26:29,227
(women laughing)
620
00:26:29,262 --> 00:26:31,930
VERONICA: What's that
nasty-ass hair about?
621
00:26:40,239 --> 00:26:42,007
(groans, sighs)
622
00:26:49,515 --> 00:26:50,849
Fuck!
623
00:26:50,883 --> 00:26:53,552
♪ ♪
624
00:26:59,258 --> 00:27:02,527
♪ I want to be your jasmine ♪
625
00:27:02,562 --> 00:27:05,464
♪ I want to be
your jazzy man! ♪
626
00:27:09,769 --> 00:27:11,203
(glass shattering)
627
00:27:22,215 --> 00:27:23,849
(screams)
628
00:27:29,121 --> 00:27:30,856
Marty?!
629
00:27:30,890 --> 00:27:32,924
Surprise! (giggles)
630
00:27:32,959 --> 00:27:34,559
I'm the maid of honor at your
fake wedding
631
00:27:34,594 --> 00:27:36,261
and I didn't even know
you had a brother.
632
00:27:36,295 --> 00:27:37,963
KEVIN: There's a
reason for that.
633
00:27:37,997 --> 00:27:39,764
He busted out of prison?
Last night.
634
00:27:39,799 --> 00:27:40,866
What was he in for?
635
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:43,268
Aggravated assault,
larceny and arson.
636
00:27:43,302 --> 00:27:44,870
Arson? Who we talkin' about?
637
00:27:44,904 --> 00:27:46,938
V's brother.
638
00:27:46,973 --> 00:27:48,773
Oh, is that like
a sibling-brother,
639
00:27:48,808 --> 00:27:50,041
or just a black guy brother?
640
00:27:50,076 --> 00:27:52,244
You remember the fire at
the Curves in the mini mall?
641
00:27:52,278 --> 00:27:53,612
That was him.
642
00:27:53,646 --> 00:27:55,647
He loves setting fire to
things and he hates women.
643
00:27:55,681 --> 00:27:57,616
It was the perfect storm.
He's nuts.
644
00:27:57,650 --> 00:27:59,784
No, I'm serious. He's nuts.
He came at me.
645
00:27:59,819 --> 00:28:02,254
I had to fight my ass off.
Then, one time,
646
00:28:02,288 --> 00:28:04,122
I'm having a brew,
he came up to me,
647
00:28:04,156 --> 00:28:05,724
he's all,
"Ass cunt fuck!" on me.
648
00:28:05,758 --> 00:28:08,093
Is he retarded?
VERONICA: I wish.
649
00:28:08,127 --> 00:28:11,129
Tourette's coupled with bipolar
disorder and a drinking problem.
650
00:28:11,163 --> 00:28:12,931
He's a shrink's wet dream.
651
00:28:12,965 --> 00:28:15,033
What are we gonna do?
652
00:28:15,067 --> 00:28:16,501
Kick his ass back to prison
653
00:28:16,536 --> 00:28:18,803
'cause if there's one person
you can always count on
654
00:28:18,838 --> 00:28:20,539
to really fuck things up,
it's Marty.
655
00:28:20,573 --> 00:28:21,940
Bungee jumping, eh?
656
00:28:21,974 --> 00:28:24,042
From the El tracks.
657
00:28:24,076 --> 00:28:27,245
Good news/bad: your biopsy
results came back negative.
658
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,480
Tumor was benign,
659
00:28:28,514 --> 00:28:31,049
so you're not gonna die
of testicular cancer.
660
00:28:31,083 --> 00:28:34,319
Oh! Oh, thank God! Oh!
661
00:28:34,353 --> 00:28:35,987
Oh! So, I can keep it?
662
00:28:36,022 --> 00:28:39,758
Yeah. The swelling on the brain
you've probably got going
663
00:28:39,792 --> 00:28:41,726
on in there
might end up doin' you in.
664
00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:42,527
What?!
665
00:28:42,562 --> 00:28:43,495
I'm fuckin' with you.
666
00:28:43,529 --> 00:28:46,498
The bump looks
pretty superficial,
667
00:28:46,532 --> 00:28:49,734
but if you vomit more than
twice, have any seizures
668
00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:52,037
or experience memory loss,
call 911.
669
00:28:52,071 --> 00:28:55,941
Well, what if I vomit
while I'm having a seizure
670
00:28:55,975 --> 00:28:57,742
and have no memory of it?
671
00:28:57,777 --> 00:28:59,210
Tree in the forest, my friend.
672
00:28:59,245 --> 00:29:00,211
(chuckles)
673
00:29:00,246 --> 00:29:01,513
What?
674
00:29:05,284 --> 00:29:06,918
You know you can't stay, Marty.
675
00:29:06,953 --> 00:29:08,820
You gotta go back to prison.
676
00:29:08,854 --> 00:29:10,855
Look, Ron,
it's bullshit security.
677
00:29:10,890 --> 00:29:12,657
They practically give you
your own key.
678
00:29:12,692 --> 00:29:14,192
Aren't you risking your parole?
679
00:29:14,226 --> 00:29:16,361
How long did you have left?
680
00:29:16,395 --> 00:29:17,529
18... cocksucker!... months!
681
00:29:17,563 --> 00:29:19,364
Jesus, Marty,
that's no time at all.
682
00:29:19,398 --> 00:29:20,632
It's your wedding day, Ron.
683
00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:22,367
Why don't you go back
and turn yourself in?
684
00:29:22,401 --> 00:29:24,469
Tell 'em it was a mistake.
Blame it on the Tourette's.
685
00:29:24,503 --> 00:29:26,605
Tell them that it
won't happen again.
686
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:29,274
You know it's for the best.
Faggot!
687
00:29:29,308 --> 00:29:32,377
I'm gonna go get cleaned up,
and we'll have you back
688
00:29:32,411 --> 00:29:33,578
before they even know you left.
689
00:29:33,613 --> 00:29:35,046
Look, I'm not going back, Ron!
690
00:29:35,081 --> 00:29:37,549
It's your wedding day
and I'm not gonna miss your...
691
00:29:37,583 --> 00:29:39,517
shit-pisser... wedding day!
692
00:29:46,926 --> 00:29:52,263
This is the dress that
I will wear this afternoon.
693
00:29:52,298 --> 00:29:58,603
And it will protect me
like this house protects me.
694
00:29:58,638 --> 00:30:01,840
This is the dress.
695
00:30:01,874 --> 00:30:04,776
And today is the day.
696
00:30:04,810 --> 00:30:07,345
And the day is good.
697
00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:09,014
You look nice.
698
00:30:09,048 --> 00:30:10,548
Where are you pretending to go?
699
00:30:10,583 --> 00:30:13,752
I'm going to a wedding today.
700
00:30:13,786 --> 00:30:16,688
I am really gonna do it
this time.
701
00:30:16,722 --> 00:30:20,291
And it's supposed to be
a beautiful day today.
702
00:30:20,326 --> 00:30:25,463
Beautiful and safe and sunny.
703
00:30:25,498 --> 00:30:27,565
The sun's just
a burning ball of fire
704
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,301
that could plunge
from the sky at any time.
705
00:30:35,341 --> 00:30:37,475
I think we should just
let him come to the wedding.
706
00:30:37,510 --> 00:30:39,544
No way. I'm not having that
nutcase at my wedding.
707
00:30:39,578 --> 00:30:42,414
Can you imagine the service?
"Do you Veronica...
708
00:30:42,448 --> 00:30:44,883
"Fucking bitch!... Fisher
709
00:30:44,917 --> 00:30:46,651
"take this man...
710
00:30:46,686 --> 00:30:48,787
"Fuck stick!... Kevin Ball...?"
711
00:30:48,821 --> 00:30:51,556
Uh-uh, no, I'm taking
him back to prison
712
00:30:51,590 --> 00:30:54,592
where he belongs if I gotta drag
his ass back there myself.
713
00:30:54,627 --> 00:30:56,895
KEVIN: Always happens
when he's off his meds.
714
00:30:56,929 --> 00:30:59,564
Right. Give me your dress
so I can steam it.
715
00:30:59,598 --> 00:31:01,332
Behind the door.
716
00:31:01,367 --> 00:31:03,835
(Kevin and Fiona laugh)
717
00:31:05,337 --> 00:31:06,738
No.
718
00:31:06,772 --> 00:31:08,440
Bathroom door.
719
00:31:08,474 --> 00:31:10,875
MARTY:
It's a real pretty dress, Roni.
720
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:15,113
It'll burn nicely
with all this taffeta.
721
00:31:16,982 --> 00:31:18,450
Oh, Jesus.
722
00:31:18,484 --> 00:31:21,252
You send me back to jail,
this dress goes up!
723
00:31:21,287 --> 00:31:23,321
This house goes up!
We all go up!
724
00:31:23,355 --> 00:31:28,460
Marty? Marty, open the door.
725
00:31:28,494 --> 00:31:30,462
Open the goddamn door!
726
00:31:30,496 --> 00:31:33,798
You're not getting married
without me.
727
00:31:33,833 --> 00:31:35,834
Cock fuck!
728
00:31:37,937 --> 00:31:39,471
He's not doing anything.
729
00:31:39,505 --> 00:31:41,573
He's sitting in there
lighting a lighter.
730
00:31:41,607 --> 00:31:43,608
Oh, my God, he's gonna
burn the house down.
731
00:31:43,642 --> 00:31:45,443
This is what he did
at Granddaddy's funeral.
732
00:31:45,478 --> 00:31:47,545
Gutted out half the hospice.
Maybe we should call the cops.
733
00:31:47,580 --> 00:31:48,747
Kev's right. The house goes up
734
00:31:48,781 --> 00:31:50,982
we're not gonna be able
to get him out of there.
735
00:31:51,016 --> 00:31:53,084
You want me to call
cops on my own brother?
736
00:31:53,119 --> 00:31:54,519
It's always been like this.
737
00:31:54,553 --> 00:31:56,454
Nobody else could ever
be the center of attention.
738
00:31:56,489 --> 00:31:58,123
It's always got
to be about him.
739
00:31:58,157 --> 00:31:59,390
You should be in a nuthouse!
740
00:31:59,425 --> 00:32:00,658
LIP: What's going on?
741
00:32:00,693 --> 00:32:02,093
Veronica's brother locked
himself in the bathroom.
742
00:32:02,128 --> 00:32:04,295
He's threatening to burn
the place down. Cool!
743
00:32:04,330 --> 00:32:07,699
He saying that he's gonna
light both the dress and
744
00:32:07,733 --> 00:32:08,967
the shit-sack house on fire.
745
00:32:09,001 --> 00:32:11,035
What's a shit-sack?
746
00:32:11,070 --> 00:32:13,838
All I wanted was
to own my own home
747
00:32:13,873 --> 00:32:15,840
and maybe some small
kitchen appliances
748
00:32:15,875 --> 00:32:18,409
for your, for me,
for our home...
749
00:32:18,444 --> 00:32:19,944
Maybe some kids someday.
750
00:32:19,979 --> 00:32:22,013
I thought you didn't want
to have any kids.
751
00:32:22,047 --> 00:32:23,114
Based on what?
752
00:32:23,149 --> 00:32:24,616
You saying
how much you hate 'em.
753
00:32:24,650 --> 00:32:26,050
Yeah, other people's.
754
00:32:26,085 --> 00:32:28,953
But I might not mind having
a baby Kev runnin' round.
755
00:32:28,988 --> 00:32:31,556
A little "tomorrow person"?
756
00:32:31,590 --> 00:32:32,791
What?
757
00:32:32,825 --> 00:32:34,659
That's what I call
little mixed-race babies:
758
00:32:34,693 --> 00:32:36,027
Tomorrow people.
759
00:32:36,061 --> 00:32:38,730
Little people of tomorrow.
760
00:32:38,764 --> 00:32:41,199
What are we gonna do?
761
00:32:41,233 --> 00:32:43,568
Maybe we should
just call it off.
762
00:32:43,602 --> 00:32:44,869
No, not a chance.
763
00:32:44,904 --> 00:32:46,337
Baby, listen, this our time.
764
00:32:46,372 --> 00:32:50,642
We're gonna get fake married,
and nothing's gonna stop us.
765
00:32:54,847 --> 00:32:56,915
Tomorrow people?
766
00:32:56,949 --> 00:32:58,817
Tomorrow people.
767
00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:05,023
IAN: Hey, can you sign in
for me at detention today?
768
00:33:05,057 --> 00:33:08,827
Mrs. Pinder won't notice.
She's almost blind.
769
00:33:08,861 --> 00:33:10,195
You ditchin'?
770
00:33:10,229 --> 00:33:11,529
Kash has something planned.
771
00:33:11,564 --> 00:33:14,132
I thought that was last night.
772
00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:15,633
Was supposed to be,
773
00:33:15,668 --> 00:33:17,902
but he took me to his place,
774
00:33:17,937 --> 00:33:19,337
and it sort of freaked me out.
775
00:33:19,371 --> 00:33:21,840
I mean, I always knew
he had a wife
776
00:33:21,874 --> 00:33:24,709
and a life and everything,
but seeing it and...
777
00:33:24,743 --> 00:33:25,944
and smelling it...
778
00:33:25,978 --> 00:33:28,079
I mean, his life
actually has an odor.
779
00:33:33,085 --> 00:33:34,686
What was that for?
780
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:38,623
I just felt like kissing
my boyfriend.
781
00:33:38,657 --> 00:33:40,725
Have fun fucking Kash.
782
00:33:54,406 --> 00:33:56,574
(flames whooshing)
Remember when we were little,
783
00:33:56,609 --> 00:33:58,943
and you'd always tag along
with me, wherever I went?
784
00:34:00,913 --> 00:34:04,148
I always looked after you,
didn't I, Marty?
785
00:34:04,183 --> 00:34:06,217
And do you know why?
786
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:08,820
Because I'm your
big little sister
787
00:34:08,854 --> 00:34:13,091
and I didn't want you to get in
trouble, because I love you.
788
00:34:13,125 --> 00:34:15,560
And that's why I want you
to go back to prison.
789
00:34:19,198 --> 00:34:20,732
But you know what?
790
00:34:20,766 --> 00:34:24,302
I've been thinking about my
wedding, and you know something?
791
00:34:24,336 --> 00:34:26,604
You were right...
792
00:34:26,639 --> 00:34:30,575
'cause my wedding day
wouldn't be my wedding day
793
00:34:30,609 --> 00:34:32,543
without my little
big brother there.
794
00:34:35,981 --> 00:34:40,952
In fact, I'd like you to be
the one to give me away.
795
00:34:43,155 --> 00:34:44,822
Marty?
796
00:34:51,397 --> 00:34:52,931
You mean it?
797
00:34:52,965 --> 00:34:54,933
Cross my heart.
798
00:34:54,967 --> 00:34:56,034
Come here, you little nut.
799
00:34:56,869 --> 00:34:58,870
(grunts)
800
00:34:59,438 --> 00:35:02,040
Ah! Ah!
801
00:35:02,074 --> 00:35:05,843
You bitches!
You bitches lied to me!
802
00:35:07,579 --> 00:35:10,648
I'm gonna burn down your
cocksucking, cockfucker...!
803
00:35:14,086 --> 00:35:16,788
(hums "The Wedding March")
804
00:35:19,058 --> 00:35:22,226
♪ It's the drugs
and the whores ♪
805
00:35:22,261 --> 00:35:25,330
♪ And the voodoo
that set me free... ♪
806
00:35:25,364 --> 00:35:26,965
Wow. That shit does dry fast.
807
00:35:26,999 --> 00:35:28,333
(both laugh)
808
00:35:28,367 --> 00:35:30,234
♪ Got a rock 'n' roll
heart, baby ♪
809
00:35:30,269 --> 00:35:31,970
♪ Burnin' in me. ♪
810
00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:42,246
Lip, my boy. My oldest boy.
811
00:35:42,281 --> 00:35:44,983
Yeah. Here to pick up Karen.
812
00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:47,185
What's with the vest?
813
00:35:47,219 --> 00:35:48,853
Sheils made it.
814
00:35:50,489 --> 00:35:51,656
Wow...
815
00:35:51,690 --> 00:35:53,391
Look at you.
You look beautiful.
816
00:35:53,425 --> 00:35:54,425
Thanks.
817
00:35:54,460 --> 00:35:55,860
Hi, Lip.
818
00:35:55,894 --> 00:35:57,862
Hi. Does my head look bigger?
819
00:35:57,896 --> 00:36:00,999
Um... I don't think it can get
820
00:36:01,033 --> 00:36:02,133
any bigger, Dad.
821
00:36:02,167 --> 00:36:04,135
I have to keep an eye on it.
822
00:36:04,169 --> 00:36:06,070
Watch for memory
loss and vomit.
823
00:36:06,105 --> 00:36:07,105
More so than usual?
824
00:36:07,139 --> 00:36:08,373
Know what?
825
00:36:08,407 --> 00:36:10,875
I have a second chance at life.
826
00:36:10,909 --> 00:36:12,276
Mm-hmm.
827
00:36:12,311 --> 00:36:14,879
I'm not gonna surround myself
with negative energy.
828
00:36:14,913 --> 00:36:18,316
How about you just show up
at this wedding,
829
00:36:18,350 --> 00:36:21,586
do what you do best: drink
free booze and look happy?
830
00:36:21,620 --> 00:36:22,587
Yes?
831
00:36:22,621 --> 00:36:24,389
(chuckles)
832
00:36:24,423 --> 00:36:27,892
All right, Frank, I am ready.
833
00:36:27,926 --> 00:36:29,193
You're coming, Mom?
834
00:36:29,228 --> 00:36:30,628
Yes, I'm coming.
835
00:36:30,662 --> 00:36:31,996
(mouthing):
She's not going anywhere.
836
00:36:32,031 --> 00:36:36,200
I've got my purse
and my gift and my gloves
837
00:36:36,235 --> 00:36:39,871
and my selective serotonin
re-uptake inhibitor
838
00:36:39,905 --> 00:36:43,474
and my monoamine
oxidase inhibitor.
839
00:36:43,509 --> 00:36:46,010
I have my anti-anxiety
disco biscuits.
840
00:36:46,045 --> 00:36:49,313
And I am ready to go.
841
00:36:49,348 --> 00:36:51,416
I am really ready.
842
00:37:09,234 --> 00:37:12,236
I'll just get you
a piece of cake, Mom.
843
00:37:21,413 --> 00:37:22,880
That would just be...
844
00:37:24,616 --> 00:37:25,950
...wonderful, sweetheart.
845
00:37:25,984 --> 00:37:28,152
There's just so much
I've gotta get done here.
846
00:37:43,268 --> 00:37:45,903
Ah, that bitch.
847
00:37:45,938 --> 00:37:49,040
What kind of... cock-fuck...
does this to her brother?
848
00:37:49,074 --> 00:37:50,708
(grunts)
849
00:37:50,742 --> 00:37:54,212
(toilet flushing)
850
00:37:54,246 --> 00:37:55,379
(laughing)
851
00:37:55,414 --> 00:37:59,283
(grunting)
852
00:37:59,318 --> 00:38:01,152
(laughing)
853
00:38:01,186 --> 00:38:04,622
May daily problems never cause
you undue anxiety,
854
00:38:04,656 --> 00:38:08,860
nor the desire for earthly
possessions dominate your lives,
855
00:38:08,894 --> 00:38:12,163
but may your hearts' first
desire be always the good things
856
00:38:12,197 --> 00:38:14,832
waiting for you in
the life of heaven.
857
00:38:14,867 --> 00:38:16,033
Amen.
858
00:38:16,068 --> 00:38:17,034
ALL: Amen!
859
00:38:17,069 --> 00:38:19,537
You may kiss the bride.
860
00:38:19,571 --> 00:38:21,005
(all cheering)
861
00:38:26,745 --> 00:38:28,880
Oh, yeah!
862
00:38:28,914 --> 00:38:29,914
Yeah!
863
00:38:29,948 --> 00:38:33,551
(hip-hop blaring)
864
00:38:33,585 --> 00:38:35,653
Get it out!
865
00:38:42,628 --> 00:38:44,262
Whoo!
866
00:38:44,296 --> 00:38:45,930
Whoo!
867
00:38:47,232 --> 00:38:48,666
Get some, Father!
868
00:38:56,141 --> 00:38:57,575
Go, Dad! Work it!
869
00:39:03,448 --> 00:39:05,383
Take it down! Take it down!
870
00:39:08,754 --> 00:39:11,889
♪ Say what you gotta say,
what you gotta... ♪
871
00:39:11,924 --> 00:39:13,457
(all cheering)
872
00:39:13,492 --> 00:39:15,560
♪ Talk like you mean it, boy ♪
873
00:39:15,594 --> 00:39:17,762
♪ Say it like you mean it ♪
874
00:39:17,796 --> 00:39:18,963
Congratulations on that.
875
00:39:18,997 --> 00:39:21,032
(dinging on glass)
876
00:39:21,066 --> 00:39:23,668
♪ Say it like you own it... ♪
877
00:39:26,271 --> 00:39:27,772
(music stops)
878
00:39:27,806 --> 00:39:31,075
Uh, folks, let's face facts.
879
00:39:31,109 --> 00:39:34,245
When it comes to good things,
most of 'em come
880
00:39:34,279 --> 00:39:37,081
in pairs
like your favorite jeans,
881
00:39:37,115 --> 00:39:40,384
new socks and Kevin
and Veronica.
882
00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:44,322
And as it turns out,
most people's testicles.
883
00:39:44,356 --> 00:39:52,063
So here's to the happy couple,
Kevin, Veronica, may you always
884
00:39:52,097 --> 00:39:54,932
only have two testicles
between ya. L'chaim!
885
00:39:56,602 --> 00:39:58,269
(all cheering, whooping)
L'chaim!
886
00:40:00,105 --> 00:40:03,474
Oh... oh, sweetheart,
887
00:40:03,508 --> 00:40:05,943
may the good Lord
watch over you
888
00:40:05,978 --> 00:40:07,111
in your new home.
889
00:40:07,145 --> 00:40:08,879
Oh, thank you, Mama.
890
00:40:08,914 --> 00:40:10,281
Thank you.
891
00:40:15,354 --> 00:40:16,821
$500?!
892
00:40:16,855 --> 00:40:18,489
Are you fucking kidding me?
893
00:40:21,793 --> 00:40:23,995
We're gettin'
a Barbie house, baby!
894
00:40:24,029 --> 00:40:25,630
(both laugh)
895
00:40:25,664 --> 00:40:29,267
Maybe you're making
yourself too available?
896
00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:30,468
You think?
897
00:40:30,502 --> 00:40:33,738
Hey, lady friend,
where the hell is my cake?
898
00:40:33,772 --> 00:40:37,241
Steve is supposed to be here
with the damn thing.
899
00:40:37,276 --> 00:40:39,610
That's the trouble
with the exciting ones.
900
00:40:39,645 --> 00:40:42,613
The unpredictability is what
makes them so exciting,
901
00:40:42,648 --> 00:40:46,484
but it's also what makes them
so damned unpredictable.
902
00:40:46,518 --> 00:40:48,419
He may not be Steve,
903
00:40:48,453 --> 00:40:50,288
but he's here.
904
00:40:54,693 --> 00:40:56,060
Hi.
905
00:40:56,094 --> 00:40:57,928
Hi.
906
00:40:57,963 --> 00:40:59,330
Do you wanna dance?
907
00:40:59,364 --> 00:41:00,564
The Bible is the Word of God,
908
00:41:00,599 --> 00:41:03,234
How can it be the Word
of God passed down
909
00:41:03,268 --> 00:41:08,172
if it was rewritten by King James?
from generation to generation.
910
00:41:08,206 --> 00:41:11,375
FRANK:
It doesn't make any sense.
911
00:41:11,410 --> 00:41:14,745
This was really a perfect day.
912
00:41:14,780 --> 00:41:17,948
I only wish little Marty
could have been here.
913
00:41:26,258 --> 00:41:29,327
(tires screeching)
914
00:41:49,614 --> 00:41:50,881
You're late...
915
00:41:50,916 --> 00:41:52,516
Dr. Sherman.
916
00:42:02,961 --> 00:42:05,229
(both laughing)
917
00:42:07,899 --> 00:42:09,467
Okay, Gallaghers,
918
00:42:09,501 --> 00:42:10,701
you're the only family I got,
919
00:42:10,736 --> 00:42:12,603
so let's put this on film, huh?
920
00:42:12,637 --> 00:42:14,372
(camera timer beeping)
921
00:42:14,406 --> 00:42:15,373
Ah.
922
00:42:15,407 --> 00:42:16,474
Wait... Is it on?
923
00:42:16,508 --> 00:42:19,076
It's on. It's on, it's on.
924
00:42:19,111 --> 00:42:20,111
Did it go?
It's not on.
925
00:42:20,145 --> 00:42:22,279
Go get...
ALL:
Aah!
926
00:42:22,314 --> 00:42:23,214
(indistinct chatter)
927
00:42:23,248 --> 00:42:24,515
Set it up again, here we go.
928
00:42:24,549 --> 00:42:25,516
Ready?
929
00:42:25,550 --> 00:42:26,550
Okay.
Here we go.
930
00:42:26,585 --> 00:42:28,152
Hey, sexy.
931
00:42:28,186 --> 00:42:30,054
(laughter)
932
00:42:30,088 --> 00:42:31,055
Wait, where's Lip?
933
00:42:31,089 --> 00:42:32,590
Where...? Oh.
934
00:42:32,624 --> 00:42:34,492
KAREN (passionately): Yeah...
935
00:42:34,526 --> 00:42:35,493
(Karen and Lip moaning)
936
00:42:35,527 --> 00:42:37,628
Yeah, oh, yeah, give it to me!
937
00:42:37,662 --> 00:42:39,096
(grunting) Oh, yeah.
938
00:42:39,131 --> 00:42:41,766
Oh, oh, yeah!
939
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,067
Oh, yeah, give it to me!
940
00:42:43,101 --> 00:42:45,136
Oh, you want me to give it to you?
Yes.
941
00:42:45,170 --> 00:42:46,904
Yes, she said she wants you
942
00:42:46,938 --> 00:42:49,507
to give it to her, so just
give it to her already, okay?!
943
00:42:49,541 --> 00:42:50,841
(laughing)
944
00:42:50,876 --> 00:42:52,076
Cock and balls!
945
00:42:52,110 --> 00:42:54,779
(laughing)
946
00:42:56,181 --> 00:43:06,050
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
947
00:43:22,974 --> 00:43:26,744
And she was a real princess.
948
00:43:26,778 --> 00:43:29,146
Yeah, well, she's dead now.
949
00:43:29,181 --> 00:43:31,982
How's that
for happily ever after?
950
00:43:37,055 --> 00:43:39,055
Asshole.