1
00:00:11,654 --> 00:00:12,698
(Closes car door)

2
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:17,248
- We have a problem.
- Oh! God.

3
00:00:17,249 --> 00:00:19,590
Yeah. I know. It's
1,000 degrees in here.

4
00:00:19,591 --> 00:00:20,749
What are you talking about?

5
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:23,236
Well, the air conditioning
must be broken. Aren't you hot?

6
00:00:23,237 --> 00:00:25,620
I wear a thick velvet
Puma suit ten hours a day.

7
00:00:25,621 --> 00:00:27,938
I've learned to hydrate in
ways that disgust even me.

8
00:00:27,939 --> 00:00:29,518
Look, I want a raise.

9
00:00:29,519 --> 00:00:31,405
I work my ass off for
this place every night.

10
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,284
We've been over this.

11
00:00:32,285 --> 00:00:34,531
You're only supposed to
work four hours a week.

12
00:00:34,532 --> 00:00:38,398
And yet, you're always here in
the suit, and no one knows why.

13
00:00:38,399 --> 00:00:41,094
I'll tell you why.
Because I engender pep.

14
00:00:41,095 --> 00:00:42,569
People need pep.

15
00:00:42,595 --> 00:00:44,065
And I am pep.

16
00:00:44,066 --> 00:00:47,357
I would really like to think that
this conversation's almost over.

17
00:00:47,566 --> 00:00:50,945
If you don't give me
a raise, I will quit.

18
00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:53,516
Leave the suit at the front gate.

19
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:56,829
I'm at rock bottom.

20
00:01:00,909 --> 00:01:03,288
Hey! How's everybody doin'?

21
00:01:03,849 --> 00:01:05,222
It's a little hot.

22
00:01:05,223 --> 00:01:07,598
Yes, it is. It is a little hot.

23
00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:09,381
And that's a problem,
because tomorrow night,

24
00:01:09,382 --> 00:01:11,629
thousands of people are
coming here for the big game.

25
00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:14,055
And today, the team needs to practice.

26
00:01:14,056 --> 00:01:16,903
So can you, as maintenance
men, make it a little less hot,

27
00:01:16,904 --> 00:01:19,567
with your tools and your
vast knowledge of ducts?

28
00:01:19,568 --> 00:01:21,883
- Where's Robert?
- I'm Robert.

29
00:01:21,884 --> 00:01:23,667
Right. Yes. Of... of course.

30
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:26,779
I... I was talking about the
air conditioning guy Robert.

31
00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:30,049
You mean Louis. He quit because
you kept calling him "Robert."

32
00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:32,767
Okay. Well, we have to track
him down. Who... who can do that?

33
00:01:32,768 --> 00:01:37,165
- Louis used to track people down.
- So Louis was a fairly big loss.

34
00:01:37,342 --> 00:01:38,892
Listen, people can't work this way.

35
00:01:38,893 --> 00:01:42,998
We have to cool this place down as soon
as possible, don't you think so, Don... ny?

36
00:01:42,999 --> 00:01:44,095
That's Ted.

37
00:01:44,096 --> 00:01:47,168
Well, you guys know how hard it
is to remember all these names.

38
00:01:47,169 --> 00:01:51,091
- We know your name is Ben.
- Well, that's easy. I look like a Ben.

39
00:01:51,092 --> 00:01:54,558
So in the spirit of that, what do
you say today, I call you all "Steve"?

40
00:01:54,559 --> 00:01:56,061
My name actually is Steve.

41
00:01:56,062 --> 00:01:58,324
Well, what a win-win for you, Steve.

42
00:01:58,325 --> 00:02:00,682
Can we get the air conditioning fixed...

43
00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:03,136
Steves?

44
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:23,378
Crystal, do not worry. I'm
on the air conditioning thing.

45
00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:25,829
And we'll apologize to the
women basketball players

46
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:28,421
and fill their lockers
with extra lady razors.

47
00:02:28,422 --> 00:02:30,140
They must go through
those things like candy.

48
00:02:30,141 --> 00:02:34,924
Oh, I don't care about that, other than
how it's completely murdering my hairdo.

49
00:02:35,193 --> 00:02:36,690
The maintenance workers
are all in a tizzy

50
00:02:36,691 --> 00:02:39,482
because you apparently insisted
on calling them all "Steve"?

51
00:02:39,483 --> 00:02:40,606
How do you know about that?

52
00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:43,840
- That happened, like, three minutes ago.
- A little bird told me.

53
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,700
Ted Littlebird. That handsome native
American fellow who works in maintenance.

54
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,670
Jim's his brother.

55
00:02:48,671 --> 00:02:50,606
We have two Littlebirds working here?

56
00:02:50,607 --> 00:02:52,155
You'd think that would
have come up more often.

57
00:02:52,156 --> 00:02:54,833
Exactly my point. You don't know
the name of anybody who works here,

58
00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:56,468
and they've had it
with your insensitivity.

59
00:02:56,469 --> 00:02:57,460
That is not fair.

60
00:02:57,461 --> 00:02:59,727
I have made a solid effort
to connect with people here.

61
00:02:59,728 --> 00:03:02,342
I may not know all of their names,
but when they walk down the hallway,

62
00:03:02,343 --> 00:03:04,733
I'll say, hello... hell... hello there.

63
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:06,788
And there's one guy that
I always call "chief."

64
00:03:06,789 --> 00:03:09,840
Unfortunately, it's not one of the two
Indian gentlemen you mentioned earlier.

65
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:13,582
Well, regardless, the Steves refuse to
go back to work, so you have to apologize.

66
00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:16,750
And for God's sake, learn their
names. Basic management skills.

67
00:03:16,751 --> 00:03:18,554
Oh, please. Like you know
everybody's names?

68
00:03:18,555 --> 00:03:21,409
I most certainly do.
And I've worked very hard at it.

69
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:25,783
- What do you think I do in here all day?
- Oh, I don't want to think about that.

70
00:03:25,861 --> 00:03:28,015
(Knocks on glass) Pardon me. Crystal?

71
00:03:28,252 --> 00:03:30,629
I just wanted to drop off
this week's banana bread.

72
00:03:30,630 --> 00:03:32,986
And I think that I can get
you the attendance breakdown

73
00:03:32,987 --> 00:03:36,799
- a day earlier this week.
- Oh, Diane.

74
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,069
Diane.

75
00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:42,289
Oh, Diane...

76
00:03:42,652 --> 00:03:43,651
Thank you.

77
00:03:43,652 --> 00:03:44,769
Pleasure.

78
00:03:44,911 --> 00:03:47,536
Bye, Diane. (Sniffs) You see?

79
00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:51,330
In order to be a boss who is liked and
to get the most out of your employees,

80
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:54,339
you have to do the basics. (Thuds)

81
00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:55,929
Say hello, learn their names,

82
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:58,663
and every now and then,
throw them an ice cream party.

83
00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:01,052
People like me. I would
even go so far as to say,

84
00:04:01,053 --> 00:04:03,363
they find me to be an unbridled delight.

85
00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:06,221
(Laughs) Oh, no, they don't.

86
00:04:06,222 --> 00:04:08,090
Okay. Well, you know what?
If they're not gonna notice

87
00:04:08,091 --> 00:04:10,615
the effort I've been putting out there,
then...then the hell with them.

88
00:04:10,616 --> 00:04:12,192
I'll fix the air conditioning myself.

89
00:04:12,193 --> 00:04:14,017
Well, do it! Do it quickly!

90
00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:17,791
(Gasps) Oh!

91
00:04:17,852 --> 00:04:19,366
(Both laugh)

92
00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:20,912
There you two are!

93
00:04:20,913 --> 00:04:25,053
I have been meaning to tell you that watching
your relationship bloom and flourish

94
00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:28,488
has been both fascinating
and enlightening.

95
00:04:28,664 --> 00:04:31,413
- Thank you?
- Uh, okay. Sure. Yeah, thank you.

96
00:04:31,414 --> 00:04:33,631
And since you two are
really making it work,

97
00:04:33,632 --> 00:04:36,185
I'd love for you to meet my new fella.

98
00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:39,256
What do you say to a double date?

99
00:04:39,257 --> 00:04:42,694
- Really? That'd be great!
- What an honor, Crystal.

100
00:04:42,695 --> 00:04:43,781
Let's say Friday.

101
00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:47,837
- Oh, Darius will be thrilled!
- Oh. Darius?

102
00:04:47,838 --> 00:04:50,607
That's my fella's name.
Darius Washington.

103
00:04:50,608 --> 00:04:54,631
- Ring a bell, Alonzo?
- Hmm. No. Should it?

104
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:57,144
Well, I just assumed all
you brothers knew each other.

105
00:04:57,145 --> 00:04:58,627
Ha ha.

106
00:04:58,739 --> 00:05:00,145
Um, you know what, Crystal?

107
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:02,959
I just realized, we
have something Friday.

108
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,054
- I don't think we do.
- I'm certain we do.

109
00:05:05,209 --> 00:05:06,252
Well...

110
00:05:06,988 --> 00:05:08,648
Some other time, then.

111
00:05:11,585 --> 00:05:14,144
Um, did you just pick up
on what was going on there?

112
00:05:14,145 --> 00:05:18,238
- Yeah. As subtle I it was, I got it.
- She obviously just asked us out

113
00:05:18,239 --> 00:05:20,449
because she's dating a
black man, and then assumed

114
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,397
that you would know him
because he's a "brother."

115
00:05:22,398 --> 00:05:24,636
Look, it's no surprise
Crystal is insensitive.

116
00:05:24,637 --> 00:05:27,054
This is the woman who handed
Yo-Yo ma her dry cleaning.

117
00:05:27,055 --> 00:05:29,428
But the point is, she wants
to have dinner with us.

118
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,882
She's trying. I think
we should have said yes.

119
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:33,176
- Really?
- Yeah.

120
00:05:33,177 --> 00:05:35,397
And who knows? She spends time
with us, and the next time,

121
00:05:35,398 --> 00:05:38,429
she won't ask the guys from
Los Lobos to park her car.

122
00:05:39,615 --> 00:05:41,238
(Elevator bell dings)

123
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:45,450
Hey, Ben, what you doin'?

124
00:05:45,451 --> 00:05:47,115
Well, the Steves refuse to work still,

125
00:05:47,116 --> 00:05:49,523
so I figured I'd take a look
at the air conditioning myself.

126
00:05:49,524 --> 00:05:52,880
I'm fairly handy. I once
installed blinds in my bathroom.

127
00:05:52,931 --> 00:05:54,710
That's not true. I've never done that.

128
00:05:54,711 --> 00:05:56,775
- You're an amazing man, Ben.
- Thank you, Roman.

129
00:05:56,776 --> 00:05:58,772
So I got the results of the poll.

130
00:05:58,773 --> 00:06:01,459
- The popularity pool.
- You've been vindicated.

131
00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:03,520
People like me.

132
00:06:03,836 --> 00:06:07,009
Oh. I do not know what
"vindicated" means.

133
00:06:07,010 --> 00:06:09,272
Well, you must have slanted
the question somehow.

134
00:06:09,273 --> 00:06:10,574
How did you ask it?

135
00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:13,166
- "I like Ben. Do you?"
- And no one...

136
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:15,427
- Not a one.
- Let me finish the question!

137
00:06:18,898 --> 00:06:20,943
(Machines humming) Okay,
fine. So they don't like me.

138
00:06:20,944 --> 00:06:22,969
I'm not their friend, I'm their boss.

139
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:26,719
I shouldn't have to learn everybody's
names just to get them to do their jobs.

140
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,428
It's time for everybody to grow up
and start being professionals.

141
00:06:40,259 --> 00:06:42,552
Yeah, I gotta learn their names.

142
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:46,006
♪ (Men) Mr. Sunshine ♪

143
00:06:46,007 --> 00:06:47,791
♪ Yay ♪

144
00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:54,523
- Hey.
- Hey.

145
00:06:54,524 --> 00:06:57,270
I have a great idea on how
you can learn people's names.

146
00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:59,449
It's a system I used when I
went to the University of Phoenix

147
00:06:59,450 --> 00:07:01,827
so I could get to know
my fellow classmates.

148
00:07:01,828 --> 00:07:04,712
But that's an online
university that has no campus.

149
00:07:04,713 --> 00:07:07,544
- Which made it that much harder.
- I see.

150
00:07:07,545 --> 00:07:12,117
Okay. So what I did was, I wrote everyone's
name and put their photo on a card.

151
00:07:12,118 --> 00:07:14,078
Now all we have to do
is think of a description

152
00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:16,066
of that person that
matches their initials.

153
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:19,224
We write it on the card, and then
you can study 'em like flash cards.

154
00:07:19,225 --> 00:07:22,117
Man, that's actually a really good idea.

155
00:07:22,118 --> 00:07:23,834
I know. (Chuckles)

156
00:07:23,835 --> 00:07:26,638
Okay. Fred Patterson.

157
00:07:26,639 --> 00:07:29,350
Fred Patterson. F.P.

158
00:07:29,872 --> 00:07:31,775
How about "friendly personality?"

159
00:07:31,776 --> 00:07:34,650
Uh, "friendly personality"
is a little too vague.

160
00:07:34,651 --> 00:07:39,431
I'm gonna go with "fat... pumpkin."

161
00:07:39,432 --> 00:07:40,276
Wow.

162
00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:42,683
I mean, look at his face.
That's like a blimp.

163
00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:44,912
And he's got a very odd skin hue.

164
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:48,123
Doug Miller... "disgusting moles."

165
00:07:48,124 --> 00:07:49,127
- No...
- Look at those things.

166
00:07:49,128 --> 00:07:50,063
Look at that one right there.

167
00:07:50,064 --> 00:07:51,435
No, I don't... that... yeah.

168
00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:54,731
Wayne Fredericks... "walks funny."

169
00:07:54,732 --> 00:07:56,949
Ben, I don't... I don't
think this is right.

170
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:57,825
No, it's right.

171
00:07:57,826 --> 00:08:00,125
He walks like there's a giant
beach ball between his knees.

172
00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:01,374
This is so much fun!

173
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:03,560
I'm gonna do this with
everybody who works here!

174
00:08:03,561 --> 00:08:07,973
Michelle Gritzer... "my... grand..."

175
00:08:08,896 --> 00:08:10,473
Hmm. I'll remember that.

176
00:08:13,783 --> 00:08:15,108
Oh, Crystal.

177
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:18,648
I checked our calendar,
and Alonzo was right.

178
00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:19,784
We are free Friday.

179
00:08:19,785 --> 00:08:22,179
Oh, well, great. I'll go ahead
and make the reservations.

180
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,391
I think everyone will
be happy with barbecue.

181
00:08:24,909 --> 00:08:27,062
Barbecue? Why barbecue?

182
00:08:27,063 --> 00:08:28,865
(Chuckles)

183
00:08:28,866 --> 00:08:30,391
(Singsongy) That's a good one.

184
00:08:36,898 --> 00:08:38,334
Excuse me, everyone.

185
00:08:38,335 --> 00:08:40,005
I have something to say.

186
00:08:40,397 --> 00:08:41,638
Oh, golly.

187
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:44,076
Frozen burritos down, fellas.

188
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:47,391
Thank you for your
enthusiasm, Robert Ketterman.

189
00:08:47,504 --> 00:08:50,765
You see, Jeff Sheehan...
Fred Patterson...

190
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:54,349
I may have come across a
little harsh today, Doug Miller.

191
00:08:54,589 --> 00:08:56,226
We could blame it on the heat.

192
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:58,859
But I'd like to apologize, Leo Peccini...

193
00:08:59,519 --> 00:09:01,659
Ryan Mills, Rod Sherwood,

194
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,566
for my behavior, Bruce McAdam,

195
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:05,907
and both Littlebirds, Ted and Jim.

196
00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:09,577
Well, thanks, Ben.

197
00:09:09,685 --> 00:09:10,971
Thanks a lot.

198
00:09:10,972 --> 00:09:12,783
You're welcome, Robert Ketterman.

199
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,330
Boy, it sure is hot in here.

200
00:09:18,006 --> 00:09:20,868
You know what? I suppose we could take
another crack at fixing the air.

201
00:09:20,869 --> 00:09:23,600
Oh, I would really
appreciate that, fellas.

202
00:09:24,255 --> 00:09:25,380
(Chuckles) Sure, Ben.

203
00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,677
Whoa! You scared me, Steve Gurtner.

204
00:09:31,695 --> 00:09:33,942
Roman, I have found
your job for the day...

205
00:09:33,943 --> 00:09:37,165
Pack up all the fans and put
'em in storage, because I did it!

206
00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:39,951
I learned everybody's names,
and they're fixing the air.

207
00:09:39,952 --> 00:09:41,349
That's awesome!

208
00:09:41,350 --> 00:09:43,693
They patted me on the back.
They smiled at me.

209
00:09:43,694 --> 00:09:45,317
No one's ever smiled at me before,

210
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,504
except for that woman in
bookkeeping, creepy smile...

211
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:49,756
Carol Sanderson.

212
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,414
Oh, no. That's not a smile,
that's a wince.

213
00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:54,526
- She has chronic back pain.
- Oh, it doesn't matter.

214
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,709
The point is that I started this
just to get people back to work,

215
00:09:57,710 --> 00:10:00,065
but then I enjoyed connecting.

216
00:10:00,186 --> 00:10:02,317
I think I like it when
people smile at me.

217
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:04,394
I'm gonna go let them
smile at me some more.

218
00:10:05,341 --> 00:10:06,737
Yeah! Just like that.

219
00:10:09,322 --> 00:10:10,865
Nice job, Fred Patterson.

220
00:10:10,866 --> 00:10:12,113
Hey, thanks, Ben.

221
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,914
- Hey, great sweeping, Angie Albertini.
- Have a good night, Ben.

222
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,948
Hey, thanks for holding the
elevator, Wayne Fredericks.

223
00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:25,604
(Elevator bell dings)

224
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,087
That is one happy ficus, Matt Smith.

225
00:10:28,088 --> 00:10:29,396
You bet, Ben.

226
00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:35,667
Hey, everyone! The air
conditioning's back on!

227
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,140
Ahh.

228
00:10:40,838 --> 00:10:41,938
Here you go, Ben.

229
00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:43,713
I hope you don't mind,
I made it with walnuts.

230
00:10:43,714 --> 00:10:46,437
I don't mind. I love banana
bread. I love walnuts.

231
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,792
And I love you, Diane de la Guardia.

232
00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,212
Oh, you're nice.

233
00:11:02,032 --> 00:11:03,640
Ooh.

234
00:11:04,201 --> 00:11:06,511
(Voice warbling) Hello.

235
00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:08,212
(Normal voice, laughs)

236
00:11:12,074 --> 00:11:13,886
(Voice warbling) 
♪ Do you believe ♪

237
00:11:13,887 --> 00:11:16,479
♪ in life after love? ♪

238
00:11:18,309 --> 00:11:22,575
♪ I can feel something
inside me say ♪

239
00:11:22,576 --> 00:11:26,661
♪ I really don't think
you're strong enough, no ♪

240
00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:30,406
♪ do you believe in
life after love, love, ♪

241
00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:32,702
♪ love, love, love, love ♪

242
00:11:32,703 --> 00:11:36,902
♪ I can feel something
inside me say ♪

243
00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:41,425
♪ I really don't think
you're strong enough, no ♪

244
00:11:41,426 --> 00:11:47,325
♪ do you believe in life
after love, love, love ♪

245
00:11:53,398 --> 00:11:56,485
Hey, Leo Peccini, have you
noticed that it's hot again?

246
00:11:58,006 --> 00:12:00,081
Why is that, Jeff Sheehan?

247
00:12:01,411 --> 00:12:03,566
Hey, it's Angie Albertini.

248
00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:05,389
Hey, Fred Patterson.

249
00:12:05,464 --> 00:12:06,628
Fred Patterson.

250
00:12:06,629 --> 00:12:08,453
Fred Patterson, what's up?

251
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,579
Don't you mean "fat pumpkin"?

252
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,705
Ooh.

253
00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:16,147
Tina Lavinson.

254
00:12:38,881 --> 00:12:39,890
(Muffled) What?!

255
00:12:50,933 --> 00:12:53,807
Benjamin, because of your
ridiculous flash card scheme,

256
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:56,642
it's hot again, and I
look like Art Garfunkel.

257
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,780
- What am I going to do?
- Here's what you're gonna do...

258
00:12:58,781 --> 00:13:00,709
You're gonna throw that ice
cream party, and they're gonna

259
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:02,672
forget about what you did,
they're gonna go back to work,

260
00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:04,458
the air conditioning
is gonna go back on,

261
00:13:04,459 --> 00:13:06,689
and it'll all be a bridge
over troubled water.

262
00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:09,216
Crystal, this runs deeper
than an ice cream party.

263
00:13:09,217 --> 00:13:11,913
Well, we can do a crepe party,
but the line gets so long.

264
00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:13,161
It was a great day.

265
00:13:13,162 --> 00:13:15,060
I didn't feel like I was
working with employees.

266
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:16,550
I was working with friends!

267
00:13:16,551 --> 00:13:19,467
I told you to learn their names,
not befriend them like you all spent

268
00:13:19,468 --> 00:13:21,303
four years together at
the University of Phoenix.

269
00:13:21,304 --> 00:13:24,826
But I liked being friends
with them. It felt good.

270
00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:26,856
Last night, Diane
made me a banana bread,

271
00:13:26,857 --> 00:13:28,594
and I'm not usually
a fan of quick breads.

272
00:13:28,595 --> 00:13:31,125
Well, I'm terribly sorry you're
gonna lose all your playmates,

273
00:13:31,126 --> 00:13:34,374
but we have a real problem that
needs to be solved right now.

274
00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:36,686
I want it all. I want
them to be friends with me,

275
00:13:36,687 --> 00:13:38,701
and I want them to go back to work.

276
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,359
- Did you want to, uh...
- (Smacks buttocks)

277
00:13:44,462 --> 00:13:45,541
Oh, there you are.

278
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:49,575
I just wanted to tell you how much
I'm looking forward to tomorrow night.

279
00:13:49,838 --> 00:13:52,630
- Yeah. Can't wait.
- Oh, and, um...

280
00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:55,959
Let's make sure to get in a
little girl talk beforehand.

281
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,811
I need the skinny on how to
handle the societal stigmas

282
00:13:58,812 --> 00:14:01,691
of being in that kind of relationship.

283
00:14:01,692 --> 00:14:03,938
And what kind is that?

284
00:14:03,939 --> 00:14:07,383
Oh. Don't make me say it out loud.

285
00:14:11,189 --> 00:14:13,830
I can't do it. I can't
be okay with this.

286
00:14:13,831 --> 00:14:17,129
I am not going to be part of
Crystal's token interracial couple.

287
00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:19,085
- Honey...
- No, I'm not gonna calm down.

288
00:14:19,086 --> 00:14:22,189
Just because you can tolerate
it doesn't mean that I have to.

289
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,704
Okay. You're new to this.

290
00:14:23,705 --> 00:14:26,658
If you try to fight every little indignity,
you're gonna exhaust yourself.

291
00:14:26,659 --> 00:14:28,610
And at the end of the day,
getting upset about it

292
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:31,090
doesn't make Crystal any
less petty or ignorant.

293
00:14:31,091 --> 00:14:33,002
She never wanted to have dinner with me.

294
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:35,815
Now all of a sudden, I'm
black, and she's interested.

295
00:14:35,816 --> 00:14:38,955
- You are not black.
- Well, I could have been.

296
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:42,131
My mom was very progressive in her 20s.

297
00:14:45,411 --> 00:14:48,301
Okay. In the interest
of clearing the air,

298
00:14:48,302 --> 00:14:51,289
we're gonna do something
called an affinity circle.

299
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,586
I web searched "mendi relationships"...

300
00:14:53,587 --> 00:14:55,284
Came up with some pretty dark stuff...

301
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,194
Incest... apparently very
difficult to overcome.

302
00:14:58,195 --> 00:15:02,142
If you've made out with your
grandfather, forget it. Just forget it.

303
00:15:02,161 --> 00:15:04,816
Now I know that I've hurt your feelings,

304
00:15:04,817 --> 00:15:09,723
so this is your opportunity to express
your true feelings about me.

305
00:15:09,724 --> 00:15:13,160
And then we can move
on and be friends again.

306
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:19,150
Now just to make sure we don't
all talk at the same time,

307
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:22,121
and in honor of the only
book that I've ever read,

308
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,893
"Lord of the Rings"...
"Lord of the Flies,"

309
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,145
Roman...

310
00:15:26,913 --> 00:15:28,895
Bring to me the conch!

311
00:15:32,884 --> 00:15:35,788
- This is the conch you got?
- It was the only one I could find.

312
00:15:35,789 --> 00:15:39,009
This is San Diego. They made
the library out of conches!

313
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:40,677
All right. Just go sit down.
Did you bring the pad of paper?

314
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:41,726
- Yeah, yeah...
- Do you have a pen?

315
00:15:41,727 --> 00:15:45,709
Okay. So... Who wants to go first?

316
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,737
Don't be shy. Anyone?

317
00:15:47,977 --> 00:15:49,105
Anyone?

318
00:15:49,811 --> 00:15:52,067
I say, anyone?

319
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:57,121
Um, on Mondays, you
can be a little grumpy.

320
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,814
What a great start.
Way to get the ball rolling.

321
00:15:59,815 --> 00:16:03,384
Roman, jot that down.
"Watch grumpiness on Mondays."

322
00:16:03,385 --> 00:16:05,430
Okay, who's next? Anyone?

323
00:16:05,668 --> 00:16:07,604
- (Ben) Anyone?
- Ridiculous.

324
00:16:07,605 --> 00:16:09,199
What's holding you people back?

325
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,916
Benjamin, you're a preening,
self-centered narcissist,

326
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:13,242
and your socks are too design-y.

327
00:16:13,243 --> 00:16:15,093
What's with all the stripes?
You're not Beetlejuice.

328
00:16:15,094 --> 00:16:17,668
You're a human man. Next.

329
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,344
The only time you've
ever looked me in the eyes

330
00:16:22,345 --> 00:16:24,669
was to check your hair in my glasses.

331
00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:27,170
Okay. (Under breath) Jot that down.

332
00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:30,587
And while we're at it,
your hair is... stupid.

333
00:16:31,513 --> 00:16:34,041
(Normal voice) Well, Diane, that...
that... that... that kind of hurts.

334
00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:36,106
It's weird you've only
ever read one book.

335
00:16:36,107 --> 00:16:37,728
And, you know, you clear
your throat too much.

336
00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,375
That's true. You really do.

337
00:16:39,376 --> 00:16:40,513
"Good... (Clears throat)

338
00:16:40,514 --> 00:16:41,937
"Morning... (Clears throat)

339
00:16:41,938 --> 00:16:44,993
- Everyone."
- (Employees clear throats)

340
00:16:45,849 --> 00:16:48,596
The conch! The conch!
You have to be holding the conch!

341
00:16:48,597 --> 00:16:51,296
And what's up with that chin?
You barely even have one.

342
00:16:51,297 --> 00:16:54,681
Yes! I... it's kind of like your
face cascades into your neck.

343
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:55,878
There's no definition.

344
00:16:55,879 --> 00:16:59,310
- It's more like you have a... chinneck.
- A chinneck!

345
00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:00,949
- Yeah, a chinneck.
- You sleep in your office all the ti..

346
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:05,309
- We can see you, you know?
- (Employees talking over each other)

347
00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:08,045
Okay, okay, that's it. Stop it.

348
00:17:08,046 --> 00:17:10,909
You're right. I should not
have called you all those names.

349
00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:14,043
I tried to be your friend, but
obviously, that ship has sailed.

350
00:17:14,044 --> 00:17:16,699
So, Fred, fix the air conditioning.

351
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,785
Matt, restock the candy room.

352
00:17:18,786 --> 00:17:22,199
All of you, go back to doing
the jobs that you're paid to do!

353
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,214
That's it! End of meeting!

354
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,908
You're really bad at affinity circles.

355
00:17:27,909 --> 00:17:31,610
- (Fred) Brutal.
- (Employees speak indistinctly)

356
00:17:32,013 --> 00:17:33,534
Hey, you two! Wait up!

357
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:36,075
If you have a sec, Darius
is coming by to say hi.

358
00:17:36,076 --> 00:17:38,362
Alonzo, you must know him
from one of those meetings

359
00:17:38,363 --> 00:17:40,923
with the brothers, with
those silly handshakes you do.

360
00:17:40,924 --> 00:17:43,694
And those houses you live
in should be condemned.

361
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:47,624
Disgusting places... liquor bottles
all over the place, couches in the yard.

362
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:49,205
I don't know how you live like that.

363
00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:52,998
Crystal, you have a petty
and ignorant view of race.

364
00:17:52,999 --> 00:17:55,975
Crystal Cohen, I have had it
with your racist stereotyping.

365
00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:58,672
And are you really growing an afro?

366
00:17:58,673 --> 00:18:01,078
You look like Diana Ross
mid-concert in Central Park.

367
00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:04,844
Well, Alonzo, my hair is
frizzy because it's hot in here.

368
00:18:04,845 --> 00:18:06,972
- Hi, sweetie!
- Oh, there you are, honey.

369
00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:10,137
Mwah. Mwah. You seem to have caught
us at a very awkward moment...

370
00:18:10,138 --> 00:18:11,186
Rusty!

371
00:18:11,486 --> 00:18:12,985
Rusty Washington! Oh, my God!

372
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:16,190
- Alonzo? Hey, buddy!
- (Laughs) Hey!

373
00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:18,064
You know Darius?

374
00:18:18,065 --> 00:18:20,506
Yeah, we went to college together,
but I know him as Rusty.

375
00:18:20,507 --> 00:18:21,904
When did you switch to Darius?

376
00:18:21,905 --> 00:18:24,203
It's my middle name. See, I'm a dentist,

377
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:27,876
and it seems that people are a
little leery of a dentist named Rusty.

378
00:18:27,877 --> 00:18:31,803
Hilarious! Yeah, we were
fraternity brothers toge...

379
00:18:31,804 --> 00:18:33,701
Oh, God.

380
00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:36,406
And we did have a silly handshake.

381
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,283
And we did go to meetings.

382
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,682
And our frat house should
have been condemned!

383
00:18:41,683 --> 00:18:45,888
Crystal, I'm so sorry. Big mistake.

384
00:18:46,538 --> 00:18:47,784
Wait. Not so fast, though.

385
00:18:47,785 --> 00:18:52,951
What about the "societal stigmas" of
being in "that" kind of a relationship?

386
00:18:52,952 --> 00:18:53,940
You know...

387
00:18:53,941 --> 00:18:57,306
Older women, younger men.

388
00:18:57,307 --> 00:19:00,473
Alonzo is ten years older than me.

389
00:19:00,909 --> 00:19:03,312
Oof! Duh.

390
00:19:07,524 --> 00:19:08,824
Okay, everyone, listen up!

391
00:19:08,825 --> 00:19:14,193
Let's hear a nice round of applause for Ben
and his great idea for an ice cream party!

392
00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:20,254
<i>Chocolate and vanilla? Wow.
That makes up for everything.</i>

393
00:19:20,554 --> 00:19:22,510
I told you this was not going to work.

394
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:27,277
Hmm. Giving my employees ice cream
has always cheered them up in the past.

395
00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:30,483
Or was that health
care benefits? (Gasps)

396
00:19:30,484 --> 00:19:32,256
Toffee bits!

397
00:19:35,112 --> 00:19:37,484
Look, maybe this is the
way it has to be, you know?

398
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:39,433
Maybe I'm kidding myself
that I could be friends

399
00:19:39,434 --> 00:19:41,369
with people who work for me.

400
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:43,623
Well, you know, you
got to know their names.

401
00:19:43,624 --> 00:19:45,702
But you didn't really get to know 'em.

402
00:19:45,703 --> 00:19:48,498
Ugh. That seems so hard.

403
00:19:48,649 --> 00:19:51,914
Well, you did it with me,
and I'm your friend.

404
00:19:52,842 --> 00:19:54,951
Yeah. I... I guess so.

405
00:19:54,996 --> 00:19:57,245
And I'm a handful. (Laughs)

406
00:19:57,246 --> 00:19:59,718
So I bet, you know, you can do it again.

407
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,949
Yeah, okay. Just don't watch me do it.

408
00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:09,804
Uh, good night.

409
00:20:10,026 --> 00:20:11,185
Good night.

410
00:20:11,498 --> 00:20:14,404
So you got anything
going on this weekend?

411
00:20:14,405 --> 00:20:17,902
Oh, man. Both my kids are sick,
and my wife's out of town.

412
00:20:17,903 --> 00:20:19,295
It's just me.

413
00:20:19,296 --> 00:20:21,739
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I'm not asking you to work.

414
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:23,964
Oh, good. I don't have kids or a wife.

415
00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:25,402
Gonna get drunk, race go-carts.

416
00:20:25,403 --> 00:20:29,150
Okay. Well, that sounds fun.
Maybe sometime you and I can...

417
00:20:29,151 --> 00:20:32,359
- Oh, man. Both my kids are sick...
- Yeah.

418
00:20:32,812 --> 00:20:34,185
Yeah.

419
00:20:37,973 --> 00:20:39,484
Hey, Ben.

420
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,953
Maybe sometime.

421
00:20:43,441 --> 00:20:45,441
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

422
00:20:45,657 --> 00:20:50,516
- See you on Monday.
- See you on Monday, Ro...

423
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:58,659
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