You're fired.
What's with all the shoes? Previous tenant. Got evicted.
Isn't it looking great? Looks like a shoe store.
When Malcolm jumped off that building,
bounced off the awning and then landed on you,
and then Adam hit you with his fully-loaded Mercedes...
Okay, okay, okay.
What are you doing? I'm temping.
It was to bring the four of us together.
You protect me and my place,
my law firm will defend you for free.
Cut the condescending crap.
It makes you come off bald. This how you ask for a favor?
The tricks you pulled as patent lawyer?
Don't be pulling them in my courtroom.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.
Just take a breath.
Fung. He's not slowing down. Hey!
This is Fung Lao, the owner of the Laundromat
where Damien... Fung, come on. Stop it!
You can't just charge out into the street
barking a foreign language like that.
I'm sorry.
My father is very upset.
We've just been sued by a former employee, and...
He saw you through the window.
He said you defended Damien.
Can you help us?
I can and I will.
I actually specialize in labor law.
Adam Branch, single.
Listen, employees, when fired,
threaten to sue all the time.
They almost never win.
Tell your father not to worry.
Why was this man discharged?
It's a she.
And she was fired for getting pregnant.
And this is against Laundromat policy, is it?
Well, she already has a child.
We have a "One-child" Policy.
Oh, how interesting.
Just like, uh...
What's the word? China.
You're lovely.
Adam.
Your name?
It's a legal restraining order. Read it for yourself!
That don't mean you can tie him up.
Man, I know that, and you know that, but...
Damien! We got a situation.
He's in a state. He's volatile.
Look, I'm afraid he's gonna hurt his wife.
She's the one who got the restraining order.
It doesn't matter. Listen to me.
I need you to explain to him in legal talk
that he got to abide by this... I'm not a lawyer.
Man, Jenna says you're like a paralegal. Just tell the man.
We got a situation. He is volatile.
Sir, this is a valid,
legally-enforceable restraining order, understand?
If you do not comply with this court order, sir,
it is a punishable offense for which you might be imprisoned.
I have advised Damien to keep you restrained
until you become less volatile
and are willing to comply with the terms of this court order.
You got it?
I think he got it.
Hey, Harry. Adam.
Got a situation.
I know.
Oh, I don't think you have any idea.
In the storage room. Now.
Aiding and abetting, false imprisonment, maybe kidnapping.
Harry, I get it.
Not to mention the potential liability.
You never, ever give legal advice to anybody.
Look, Harry, it's just that
Damien said the man was a threat.
I don't care. And rule number two,
you will not be taking your cues from Damien.
Okay.
Hello. Hi. Hello. Look, Jenna,
she followed me home.
Just as you left, we got served with these papers.
She's going into court tomorrow.
They're going for a declaratory judgment.
Basically, they're asking a judge to say the grounds
for firing her are unlawful.
They can do that without a trial?
A judge can just rule against us
without even hearing our defense?
Look, it's really not a big deal.
We'll simply appear in court...
That was Harry. We keep her in storage.
Oppose this motion, and...
She's represented by Thomas Jefferson.
The guy feeds off of cases where he can self-promote.
And he's yelling again.
Let me take a meeting with the guy. If I don't like
what he has to say, we just go into court,
simple as that.
Everything will be fine.
He doesn't believe you.
Look, Steve.
Is it Steve?
Why won't you tell me your name?
It's Chunhua.
Chunhua.
That's really beautiful.
Fung, listen to me.
One way or another, I will make this go away.
That's my promise.
It's no big deal, Paul.
You write these policies in your sleep.
Excuse me, most malpractice policies
don't contemplate a prospective client
being subject to death by stabbing or gunshot.
You work in a high-risk neighborhood.
The bad section is at least a block over. Ours...
Yes, well, murderers have been known
to take the occasional stroll.
I've had a homeowner's policy with you people for years.
Harry, you leave your cushy practice for...
What are you doing?
Paul, if I knew, I'd tell you. It's possible I've lost my mind.
The good news is I can still practice law as a lunatic,
perhaps even more effectively.
But I can't do it legally without malpractice insurance.
Harry.
Much better tone.
The neighborhood is a little dangerous,
but it just got a huge windfall that will make it less so.
The windfall being...?
Me.
Done?
I had to promise to sleep with him,
but yeah, we got our insurance.
We're off and limping.
What's with him?
The Laundromat case he took...
the other lawyer is Tommy Jefferson.
That clown with the TV commercials?
He'll make such a meal of this case.
And a snack of me.
What are you doing?
Rachel. Hey. Hi.
Harry, this is, uh, Rachel Miller.
Uh, Jenna, Malcolm.
Yeah, hi, hi, and hi.
So, this is what you do? I break up with you
and you commit... I don't even know
what this is you're committing.
I switched jobs. What?
I'm the first person to do that? Adam, don't be a dope.
You are running out on a life you're mad at.
No, I'm only mad at you, actually, so...
Okay. Whatever. Look, go get your real job back
before it's too late.
This is my real job.
Oh, my God.
Harry, we have a rat.
Harry! The hell was that?
Not anymore. Malcolm, you're on dead-rat duty.
Alert PETA.
I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.
Rachel Miller. That is a lovely gun,
I'm sure you've been told.
Rachel, it was so nice to see you again.
Adam, don't do this.
Who in the hell do you think you are?
Coming in here, opening up
a fancy law office, in one of your la-di-dah shoe stores?
I'm sorry. You seem really mistaken.
And sweet. I think you want gun-lady.
Are you coming or not?
Not.
Can I help you?
Are you Harry A. Korn?
Et. Harriet Korn.
Well, you can help by clearing your fat ass
out of this neighborhood,
Harriet.
Yes, I'm terribly sorry,
but, for moving purposes,
my fat ass requires advance notice.
Would there be anything else?
Don't you condescend me, either.
People like you move in. People like me get pushed out.
You drive up our rents.
You're just a dirty block-buster is all.
Yes, and I'm happy
to discuss the relative merits of gentrification if...
Oh, dear, what's this?
I can feel my fat ass
continental drifting to the door.
I must be going to let you out.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms...
Do you have a name, or do people simply refer
to you only with adjectives?
As a matter of fact, I need a lawyer.
Do you, now? Kids trying to commit you again?
I'm in a trial.
My public defender says I got to do time,
which is the one thing I ain't got.
The D.A. Is
that Peyton fellow they tell me you just beat.
Well, I need you to beat him for me.
$26 in that.
It's all I got.
What are you being charged with?
Armed robbery.
Armed robbery? Are you serious?
I need to eat.
So sit your ass down
so we can talk.
Listen, Ms. Armed-Robber.
Nicholson. Anna Nicholson.
You want to be a lawyer in this neighborhood, child?
Then you can start out
by being a lawyer in this neighborhood.
Sit your ass down.
If the trial's already begun,
how could you possibly...
The robbery was caught on video tape.
It's not like you have a defense.
I have the "She's an 87-year-old grandmother" Defense,
which, by the way, is one of my favorites.
And she's back.
Is Adam here?
He's not, at the moment. Copies of these, please.
Could I be of help?
Well, I-I don't know what you knew
about him before you hired him.
I didn't hire him. He came here and hired himself.
The thing is, Adam is a serial overreactor.
He once stubbed his toe on a lamp
and he wanted to move.
It's just who he is.
He either runs away or reinvents, or...
I'm sensing he's running from you?
I work at his old firm.
We broke up, like, a month ago.
I'm on the 28th floor. He was on the 27th.
I mean, I was told he was taking the stairs just to avoid
seeing me in the elevator, so I have a good idea...
Can I stop you one second?
'Cause this might be important.
I've stopped listening.
Well, if you could convince him
to leave, I will make sure he gets his old job back.
Maybe I don't want him to leave.
He's a good lawyer.
Did you know that?
The, uh... the book on you...
Never read it.
Well, you are a great attorney.
But, you know, you're a horrible mentor.
I mean, you've never counseled or tutored a younger associate,
so the chances of... Yes, and if you'd bothered
to do your homework, you'd know the simple reason why.
Which is?
I hate young lawyers.
All they want is to get somewhere.
Which, if they knew where they were headed,
they wouldn't be in such a rush.
Ms. Korn, all I'm saying is
Adam has done something rash here.
And I want to help him undo it before it's too late.
I've got a little flash for you.
Adam doesn't want to go.
He likes it here.
First, let me say thank you for meeting me.
I've always been a-a big fan, huge fan.
As you should be.
Look, kid... Can I call you kid? 'Cause you look like a kid.
Well... What are you doing on this case?
This thing is a bus that will run you over.
China? That's not the way you want to begin your career.
Going to bat for Communist Chinese China,
lead-paint export capital of the world, China.
The evil empire.
Add to that my client.
Could she be any more sympathetic?
She wants to have a baby.
China, baby. China, baby.
Gee, I wonder who the jury's gonna side with.
Plus, there's me. I never lose.
Well... I'm Tommy Jefferson, kid.
I chew lawyers up and spit 'em out, and I do it publicly.
In the spotlight. Look at my office here.
It's pre-lit for press conferences. On, off.
On, off. On, off. Run away as fast as you can.
I'm not running, sir.
Then you're a dope.
I have a slam-dunk against a dope.
Where's the challenge? Are you flexible, kid?
Am I flexible? Yes.
Can you bend over and kiss your legal career good-bye?
Because that's what'll happen
if you even bother to show up tomorrow.
Who do you work for? I work for Harriet Korn.
Harriet Korn? The Harry Korn? Mm-hmm.
Wow. Heard she went off the deep end.
That must have made a hell of a splash.
Tell you what. You want to settle this case?
Come back with the big Kahuna. I don't deal with kids.
We'll talk. Look at the wall.
Something to show your grandkids. Now beat it.
I offered the lady three years. She turned it down.
I understand, but come on.
Is society really served by locking up an 87-year-old...?
Society is served by locking up armed robbers.
The same rules apply to the old ones.
It must be nice to see everything in black and white.
Counsel, look, for what she did,
she'd probably get six to eight years.
You know it. I know it. You know it.
I'm offering three.
Three years for a woman of that age
is the equivalent of a life sentence.
She robbed the guy at gunpoint. Three years is a gift.
You want to make me an ogre or a-a bogeyman
or, uh... What did you call me before?
Asshole. Yeah. Want me to be that? Fine.
But why don't you poll 50 other D.A.S
and 50 defense attorneys?
They will all tell you exactly the same thing.
You will not do better than three years.
You really want to help this lady?
Make her understand that.
So where are we?
Still at three. Mm.
That's what the public defender got me for free.
Well, I only got a sock full of quarters.
It's not like I shot somebody.
Anna, look at me now.
Aggravated robbery...
which this was... nets you three-to-ten.
The fact that you showed a gun
gets a separate, gun-specific charge.
That alone brings another three.
You could possibly get 13 years here.
More likely six. Less than that...
Cincinnati takes gun charges very seriously.
Which is why, with an offer of three,
I think you need to accept it.
I can't.
I can't die in prison, Ms. Korn.
There are a lot of ways to go out, but not that.
Anything but that.
I'm told he likes to make an entrance.
If he doesn't make it in the next 15 seconds...
He'll be here. Okay, then.
Harriet Korn.
Wow. Tommy Jefferson.
It's an absolute pleasure.
What do you know about me?
I think enough. Well, you know
I'm famous for winning with nothing.
I can walk into a courtroom
shooting blanks, and still win the battle.
Yes. I can picture you shooting blanks, actually.
That was good. China. Baby.
China. Baby. He likes to say that.
The issue isn't whether I win here.
We both know I do. The real question is how much.
How punitive will a jury be to a foreigner
from a Communist country
who fires a young woman for wanting to give birth?
I have in my hand... A number.
It is a non-negotiable number.
You and your client need to look
at this number for what it is... an opportunity.
An out. Because let's face it.
Were this case to go public,
the wrath your client would incur from the media,
the citizenry... his doors will be closing, Harriet.
His doors should close.
They would close, but for...
this opportunity which I'm about to present you with.
You have presented us with an opportunity
of one-point-two million dollars.
I've got a homerun here, Harry.
It's a contingency lawyer's wet dream.
Thank you for your time.
It's a pass. Adam?
Harry.
Many lawyers have dismissed me
as just a full-of-crap cartoonish buffoon.
I can't imagine.
Those lawyers paid for that.
They paid dearly.
It would be a big mistake for you to dismiss me, Harry.
Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Jefferson.
We'll leave you alone to enjoy your wet dream.
You can see quite clearly the gun in her hand
pointed at my head.
And the defendant, that woman...
Well, there... the woman who robbed you...
did she say anything to you, sir, as she trained
the loaded weapon at your head?
Oh, she sure did. She said,
"Empty the register,
or I'll blow your head right off."
And at this point, you gave her the money?
I did, and then she walked off.
Thank you, sir.
Nothing further.
I have no questions.
The hell was that?
I can't cross-examine a videotape.
That was for crap, that's what that was.
I want my sock back.
I've never tried a case against him.
But you co-counseled one.
Just tell me.
What should I do?
Okay, um...
Look, the thing about Tommy
is he's gonna treat you like you don't exist,
so your best bet is, just interrupt him at every turn.
If he tries to shout you down,
just keep going right back at him.
I mean, he's got a temper, and he's been known
to completely blow when people take him on.
Oh. Okay.
Now, can we talk about your case?
China's one-child policy? Really?
Well, as controversial as it may be...
She's pretty.
The Chunhua girl.
She's pretty, isn't she?
This is so you.
To go seek affirmation in the eyes of a...
I'm not doing that.
Okay.
Um... I'm going to offend you now,
but according to the ex-girlfriend's handbook,
I'm allowed to do that. Hmm.
Now, my bet is, you're gonna leave this...
I don't know... what was it, a law firm,
or a shoe store? I couldn't tell.
Whatever it was, you'll leave this place,
to the detriment of others counting on you.
And as for this Chunhua girl?
Adam, you need to grow up. You really mean
to sit here and lecture me about how I live my life?
You left a well-paying job to go work in a ghetto.
You're in crisis.
And your parents called me, by the way.
They're worried, too.
Hey, come on.
This is me here.
I'm fine. Okay?
I'm fine.
Are you seeing anybody?
Well, actually, I'm between therapists right now, but...
That's not what I meant.
Are you seeing anybody?
Well, actually, I've-I've met someone.
Yes. That's great.
Here you go.
I'm happy for you.
That's great.
I should go.
I got to get back to...
Court.
Court, yes.
Thanks.
I was barely squeezing by as it was.
Get some from Social Security, not much.
My son, he lives in California, he had been sending me money,
but then he lost his job.
And then I got sick.
I ain't got no healthcare.
Next thing I know, I'm broke.
And starving.
I had no money, not even for food.
So what did you do?
Uh, first, I wrote my Congressman.
Asked him for a little of that stimulus money.
He sent back some kind of form letter asking me to give
to his campaign... asshole.
Sorry.
Then I asked neighbors.
They helped for a while, but most of them was broke,
so then, I resorted to what they call self-help.
You robbed a store.
Not just a store. That store.
The liquor store. Damn right.
I was sick of their asses selling to underage kids.
Drug pushers is what they are.
And he knows it. Don't you?
Objection. Sustained.
Ms. Nicholson, you certainly know
that what you did was against the law.
Sure, I know.
But I'll tell you what else is wrong.
People are starving, dying,
and the government bails out Wall Street,
the ones who caused this mess.
Well, what about us?
Where's mine?
So, you were starving.
Your Congressman wouldn't send you any stimulus money.
So you did the next best thing...
you knocked over a liquor store.
Well, I hope I made it sound better than that.
Well, actually, you did. You made it almost
sound adorable. You did a terrific job.
I'm just having a hard time
reconciling your rendition of it
with the footage I saw on the monitor.
Well, that's 'cause you're a douchebag.
You know, I actually am.
You got me there.
I can be a bit of a douchebag, I'll admit it.
And you're an armed robber.
Aren't you? And not just that.
You seem to be a proud one.
No apologies whatsoever.
You put a gun to an innocent man.
You threatened to blow his head off.
And you sit there a proud, proud woman.
Mr. Peyton...
I assure you, I am not a proud woman.
I had to beg my neighbors for money.
Then I take to begging in the street.
The things I've had to do these last 12 months to...
I'm anything but proud.
What? Oh.
Chunhua, can you sit for a second?
I think I've been guilty of misleading you somewhat.
How so?
When I said I could win this case.
This, um...
You took this case because you wanted to have sex with me.
Oh, no.
Actually, much more old-fashioned than that.
I wanted a dinner. A movie, a walk in the park.
Maybe at some point, leading to...
Look, I'm gonna go in there and do my best.
But...
I had no right to give you or your dad the impression...
Anyway...
Adam?
What do you think of China's one-child policy?
Case number 3261. Diana Kremp v. Fung Lao.
Tommy Jefferson appearing for the plaintiff, Your Honor.
How are you this fine day?
Adam Branch for the defendant. Oh, great.
Your Honor, I think... Hold on.
Before we start, Mr. Branch,
you will respect the decorum of this court.
If I hold up my finger,
you stop talking.
Do we understand each other?
Yes, Judge.
Go ahead, Mr. Jefferson.
Thank you.
Nobody loves the practice of law more than I do.
The more novel the case, the better.
But I have to be honest. This one scares me.
The one-child law in China epitomizes the oppression
practiced on the Chinese citizenry
by the Communist regime. Imagine a government
dictating whether or not a family can have children.
I remember when I first heard of it. I thanked God I live
in the United States of America.
Because that could never happen here
in the United States of America.
And yet here we are. Here we are.
I'm sorry, small point, but I see local rules
favor judicial economy. Does this mean we
should skip over the obvious?
Like, you know, "Here we are,
in the United States of America"?
Good to review...
May I continue, please?
Of course. I apologize.
There are certain freedoms we hold precious
in this country. The right to procreate,
to have a baby, it is the most cherished
of all civil liberties safeguarded by the Constitution.
I'm sorry, again small point,
but are we talking about our Constitution?
'Cause there's actually nothing in
our Constitution about the right to have children.
I'm happy to consider others, if that helps.
The right is so inferred by the Supreme Court,
as an extension of our right to privacy,
a right... Also not mentioned in the Constitution,
but whatever, go for it.
Counsel? Hmm?
And every lower court
to address the matter has repeatedly and unanimously held
that the government cannot deny the right to have children
without violating the fundamental principles
of liberty and justice. Here we have a young woman
who, together with her husband, wants to have a baby.
And these people, who have immigrated here
from Chinese China, say no.
China, a country which, until recently, was on the list
of top ten human rights violators.
That China. How dare they try to impose
their Chinese, Communist,
totalitarian, oppressive regime...
All right, Mr. Jefferson.
I kind of get where you're going here.
Mr. Branch.
What do you say? This is America.
Your Honor...
And I want short sentences. To the point.
Or I'll sit you down.
Yes, Your Honor.
The Constitution guards against state action.
It says what the government can't do.
It's silent on Laundromats.
She entered into a contract
at a private business. His business.
Nobody's trying to dictate her family planning.
She's free to work someplace else
and have as many kids as she wants.
But if she chooses to work at this Laundromat,
these are the terms which she agreed to.
But there are certain liberties that even a private company
is not allowed to trample.
Unless the trampling
satisfies a compelling state interest.
And what would be yours?
Humanity. Of all the things threatening to doom our world...
global warming, nuclear proliferation, BP,
Tommy... the biggest threat
is overpopulation. Too many people.
We've got eight billion now. By 2050,
we're projected to add another billion.
You can drive around in your little Priuses,
use the curly-cue light bulbs,
recycle all you want. None of it...
none of it... will make a dent.
What we have to do is curb population.
Say what you want about Chinese, Communist,
totalitarian, oppressive China. Did I get them all?
But their one-child policy program
is the most historic, most meaningful step
taken by any country to improve the well-being of society.
And we all love to preach that every person
should do his part, don't we?
Fung Lao is doing his.
And in so doing,
he obliterates one of the very principles
that defines us as... Oh, please.
We toss out principles left and right.
We shelve civil liberties all the time.
We've been doing it for 200 years. I don't know what
kind of history you're talking about, kid. The Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798
which outlawed criticism of the president. But the history I know includes the Bill of Rights.
It includes freedom. During the Civil War, we censored the press.
- This is not about the Civil War. Don't talk about... - Honest Abe did that.
- In World War I, Woodrow Wilson approved the Espionage Act, - Or Woodrow Wilson.
- This is about a one-child policy that won't let that woman have a baby. - which banned criticism of the war.
- In World War II, we locked people up because of their race! - And overpopulation is not our fault...
Their race! Not our fault? Are you on drugs?
We're maybe the worst offenders.
We may make up 5% of the world's population, Just because a policy is needed in Chinese China,
- but we account for 35% of the consumption. - doesn't mean there's a place for it here. God bless America.
Genocide!
Okay. You got me with that one.
Did you say, "Genocide"?
You're damn right.
This one-child policy
is contributing to the female genocide in China.
Because couples can only have one child,
and Chinese couples want boys,
girls are not being born.
Okay. He made a valid point there, Judge.
First one since "Here we are."
Credit where it's due,
but female genocide wouldn't happen here.
People want girls just as much as they want boys.
For those who have met Tommy,
I bet they prefer girls. I could be wrong there.
You little snot! Don't call me little.
All right.
You both raise a lot of interesting points,
but I'm afraid this one's a little above my pay grade.
I'm going to certify this issue...
whether a private company has the right to impose
a one-child policy on its employees...
to the Ohio Supreme Court for immediate Appellate review.
As for now, you two can finish your business
in the parking lot. We're adjourned.
Did you say, "Ohio Supreme Court"?
I did.
Awesome!
I will close for all I'm worth,
I give you my word.
I'm not taking prison.
I don't blame you. I'm not recommending prison.
Then what is it you're telling me?
Well, there are certain things I can't tell you, Anna.
We talk a lot about attorney/client privilege
and we make it seem like we're such faithful servants to...
We're servants to the system.
That's what lawyers are.
For example, if the client's best chance
of avoiding prison is to tell a big lie on the stand,
we can't advise that.
Lawyer rules.
If you had a murder weapon in your bag,
we couldn't tell you to ditch it.
Even though...
Lawyer rules.
Ms. Korn, what in the hell are you babbling about?
What I can tell you is...
if we lose here, they'll take you right into custody.
And that'll be it.
You wouldn't have time,
for example, to go visit your son in California
to say good-bye.
If you cared about that, the time to go see him
would be right now.
You're telling me to flee.
Oh, I could never tell you that.
Lawyer rules.
Well, I appreciate what you're not telling me.
But I've lived my whole life here.
Right here in this neighborhood.
This is my home.
I should probably work on my closing.
See you at the courthouse.
It's a really big deal to go to the Ohio Supreme Court.
That's where law is made.
New precedents get established. It's-It's a big, big deal.
You happy with that little performance in there?
Let me tell you what that was.
First, it was rude.
Second, you just gave me a bigger stage to play on.
The Ohio Supreme Court.
The bigger the stage, the better I am.
I came here today to swat you away like a gnat.
But now I can see you're not a gnat.
You're more like a... tick.
You like to puff yourself up like a tick.
You know what happens to ticks, tick?
Somebody comes along, squeezes them, and they go pop.
That's what I'm gonna do to you, tick.
Just a matter of time.
Listen to the clock. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Pop.
I got to tell you.
It isn't easy going through life a douchebag.
That's what the defendant called me.
And I guess I'm actually a professional douchebag.
My job is to go after some very nice people sometimes,
sympathetic people who do bad things.
This nice, sympathetic person? She did a very bad thing.
She robbed a man at gunpoint.
She did it, so she says, because she was poor.
Needed to eat.
Problem is, a lot of people are hungry.
We have 45 million people in this country living in poverty.
What, we send them all the message,
"Go get a gun. Go out and do what she did"?
Really? 45 million people?
You want to feel bad for this woman, please do.
I know I do.
After all, she's poor.
He was poor.
So was he. And him. Him, too.
Objection. All armed robbers.
Objection!
Overruled. Are you kidding?
Ms. Korn?
Want to let her go?
What do we tell those that got prison for their crimes?
You look too mean?
We judge the act, not the person.
She committed the same act they did.
And lest you think,
"Hey, she's old.
Let's cut her some slack."
Elderly crime is on the rise.
We've all read about the 80-year-old woman selling crack.
The woman who sold her grandchild for money.
And she's not the only adorable person out there
with a deadly weapon.
And if you happen to be a victim of a violent crime,
I can tell you, it's no consolation
that the perpetrator was old.
I say all this because I know...
A part of you must want to let her go.
How could you not?
But... she stuck a loaded gun
in a man's face and robbed him.
That isn't cute.
It isn't adorable. It isn't excusable.
Do I ask you to hate her? No.
I only ask
that you abide by your duty
to uphold the law.
That's all.
There is a legal defense known as necessity.
Basically, it means, if a defendant commits a crime
to prevent a greater harm,
the test is what's the lesser of the evils.
I would submit,
Anna Nicholson starving to death is a greater harm...
Your Honor, necessity is an affirmative defense.
It must be raised prior to trial.
Here, it was not.
I wasn't around prior to trial.
The defense is denied, Ms. Korn.
You know better than that.
Sorry.
Okay.
For technical reasons, I'm not allowed
to argue what we all know this was.
Objection! Ms. Korn.
Sorry.
Look, you can certainly choose to put her away.
It's probably the reasonable thing to do.
After all, it's not as if
Anna Nicholson should expect anybody's compassion, right?
As Mr. Peyton said, 45 million
Americans live below the poverty line.
What he left out is, we really don't give a crap.
You saw what happened when we went about
passing healthcare.
We had a revolt.
We are free market kind of folks.
We're capitalists.
People should get what's coming to them in America,
nothing more.
And the poor, the elderly...
well, they seem to get
what's coming to them every time, don't they?
I thought it was very clever of Mr. Peyton
to lump my client into the same category
with all those mean-looking villains, didn't you?
But there is a difference.
She was starving.
And she's a little old to go into the labor market.
And she has no prior criminal record,
which I'm guessing is not the case
with all the leading men featured
in Mr. Peyton's slideshow.
She's been law-abiding her whole life.
And where did it get her? Starving.
Unable to pay her rent.
And pretty damn pissed off.
With good reason, if you ask me.
We're the richest nation in the world,
and one in seven of us lives in poverty.
Tell me how that can happen.
Somehow, somebody needs to get a wakeup call here.
I'm thinking you can send it,
not by putting Anna in prison.
But rather, if you don't.
It should also be said,
a guilty verdict for an 87-year-old woman
is a death sentence.
Objection!
Sustained. Ms. Korn?
You know better than that.
Clearly, I don't, Judge.
I'm not allowed to argue necessity,
which this was, I'm not allowed to argue
reality, which this is.
Ms. Korn, you are one step away from contempt.
Oh, I'm already at contempt.
We let our poor starve, we let them get sick.
This isn't Third World.
This is America. We're supposed to be the country that cares.
We also care about law and order. We are a nation
built on law and order.
Okay. I see we've reached the rebuttal portion
of closing arguments.
Mr. Peyton.
Look, I'm new at this criminal law thing.
I'm told it's primarily about rehabilitation and retribution.
Do you really feel the need to rehabilitate Anna Nicholson?
Really?
As for retribution,
she sits here in shame, having to endure...
Trust me.
There's nothing you can really do to this woman
that the government hasn't already done.
They certainly didn't take long.
They probably figure you'll be dead soon.
Maybe so.
Will the defendant please rise?
Madame Forewoman,
has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?
Yes, Your Honor.
What say you?
We, the jury,
in the matter of The State of Ohio v. Anna Nicholson,
on the charge of armed robbery,
hereby find the defendant,
Anna Nicholson... not guilty.
You have got to be kidding me!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...
That's what I call a fine verdict.
That's what I call a lucky verdict.
If not preposterous.
Sometimes it's a single-justice review.
Sometimes it's a three-judge tribunal.
It'll take a while.
The parties have to submit briefs.
It's kind of a big deal.
This is my place here.
Adam?
My father and I really appreciate your efforts, but
I don't feel comfortable, you doing this for free.
I'm gonna tell you something I've never told anybody before.
When I was in high school, I had this fantasy.
Playing quarterback for the varsity football team
with the most beautiful girl in the world up in the stands,
watching me lead the team to victory.
I never made the football team.
Truth is, I was too chicken to even try out.
I was captain of the debate team.
Whether I ever have dinner with you or not,
the idea of arguing before the Ohio Supreme Court,
with you watching?
I'd do that for free anytime.
I don't know what to say.
You don't have to say anything.
Just... see you in court.
I'll say thank you.
And... see you in court.
Good night, Adam.
Did you kiss her?
Of course I didn't kiss her. I just met her.
But did you let it be known that you'd like to kiss her?
Yes, I sent her an e-mail.
Adam, it's good to go slow, but she needs to know
it's out of respect, not disinterest.
Thank you.
Are you okay, Harry? You should be celebrating.
I don't know. I wonder what the hell
I've gotten myself into.
Last week I'm a patent lawyer,
making almost $600,000 a year.
Now I'm defending armed robbers
for dirty socks...
Did you say $600,000?
Never mind.
Harry, in all your years
as a patent attorney, did you ever have
one single client who truly needed you?
In a week, you've had two.
Wait.
Don't tell me. You just rolled somebody in an alley.
I didn't say a proper thank you before.
To be honest,
I didn't think you were all that get out.
But you were good enough, I guess.
Thanks.
Can I offer you a beer? Glass of wine? Your sock?
I also came back 'cause I wanted to tell you something.
And this here I hope you get.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Okay, is it just me,
or did that feel really good?
I think we're staying around for a while.
Maybe.
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