1
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,041
Here is to  Pucks!
Big premiere
tomorrow night.

2
00:00:14,041 --> 00:00:15,625
Whoo-hoo!
(UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) Whoo.

3
00:00:15,625 --> 00:00:18,000
He's never
screened a show
at his house before.

4
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,041
That's how much
he believes in this.

5
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:21,083
I'm not going out
with a guy whose life

6
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:22,458
centers around
a hockey puck.

7
00:00:22,458 --> 00:00:24,125
It's Matt.

8
00:00:24,917 --> 00:00:25,959
I know.

9
00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:29,166
Hmm.

10
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,500
Jamie Lapidus gave me
a hand-job during
the show last night.

11
00:00:32,458 --> 00:00:33,667
I had to tell you.

12
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:35,583
That woman is
married to your boss!

13
00:00:35,583 --> 00:00:37,000
Are there no other
women in the world

14
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,291
who aren't the spouses
of people you know?

15
00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:41,208
It's... What?

16
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,166
I've missed this.

17
00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:44,625
So what are you doing
for the birthday?

18
00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:45,792
Oh, birthdays
are no big deal.

19
00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:47,750
Fuck that!
We're gonna celebrate.

20
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:50,250
Well, I appreciate it,
but I really...

21
00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:01,166
(WIND WHISTLING)

22
00:01:03,709 --> 00:01:05,333
(WIND HOWLING)

23
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,166
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)

24
00:01:34,417 --> 00:01:35,625
(GUNSHOT)

25
00:01:49,834 --> 00:01:51,000
You're leaving?

26
00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:53,208
(SHUSHING)
Go back to sleep.

27
00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:58,875
You're welcome to stay.

28
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:00,875
Thanks. I'm good.

29
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:06,125
I should get up with you.
No, no. It's fine.

30
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,333
Close your eyes.

31
00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:16,125
Would you like some juice?

32
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,959
No. Thank you. Really.
You sure?

33
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:19,709
I'm sure. No juice.

34
00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:22,125
If you're hungry,
I think there's
some cheese.

35
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,959
That's okay.
Am I getting annoying?

36
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:25,583
Little bit.
I sensed it.

37
00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:32,667
Should we talk about
what happened?

38
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,458
Okay.
Okay.

39
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:37,917
I had fun.
Me too.

40
00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:43,792
That's it?
Pretty much.

41
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,417
Okay.
Okay.
See you tomorrow.

42
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,291
Right. Bye.

43
00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:53,792
(DOOR CLOSES)

44
00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,625
Good morning.
Good morning.

45
00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:05,959
Hello, all.
Morning.

46
00:03:05,959 --> 00:03:08,041
Hey. How you doing?
Ooh, the last
breakfast burrito.

47
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:09,125
Anyone mind?

48
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:12,166
Go for it, man.
I believe I will.

49
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,333
You're in a good mood.

50
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:14,959
(HESITATES)

51
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,458
Have...

52
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:27,792
Have any of you ever had...

53
00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:34,166
an experience
that you'd
fantasized about,

54
00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:41,291
but that you never
believed in reality
could ever happen?

55
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:44,375
And then,
(LAUGHS)

56
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:49,417
amazingly,
that experience
actually occurs,

57
00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:54,375
and remarkably,

58
00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:57,667
it's almost exactly
what you'd expected
it would be.

59
00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:03,458
But then you discover
that the experience

60
00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:05,834
meant absolutely nothing.

61
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:10,709
Nothing!

62
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:15,083
Which you'd assume
would somehow diminish
the experience,

63
00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:21,208
but instead, the fact
that it meant nothing
makes it even better.

64
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:27,458
Do you know
what I mean?

65
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,083
You got laid?

66
00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:34,542
Cool.

67
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:36,458
BEVERLY: Morning!
Where?

68
00:04:36,792 --> 00:04:37,792
What?
What?

69
00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:39,542
What?

70
00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:42,625
Last one.

71
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:52,834
(PHONE RINGING)

72
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,125
Hello?

73
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,458
Hey. Look out
your window.

74
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,417
What?
Just look out
your window.

75
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:02,208
Why?
You'll see.
Just do it.

76
00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:03,583
Okay.

77
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:07,917
I'm looking.

78
00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:09,959
MATT:  You like?

79
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,792
Not really my type.

80
00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,583
Bullshit.
You don't think
that's hot?

81
00:05:14,542 --> 00:05:15,583
Are you drunk?

82
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,333
What window
are you looking out?

83
00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,959
The window that looks out.

84
00:05:18,959 --> 00:05:21,542
Wait, don't you
face the front?
No.

85
00:05:21,542 --> 00:05:24,250
Seriously? How do you
not have a view?

86
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,250
It's not like the front
faces the Parthenon,

87
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,917
and...
Why are you calling?

88
00:05:27,917 --> 00:05:29,625
Just come outside.

89
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:30,625
(GRUNTS IN ANNOYANCE)

90
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:33,667
Huh?

91
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,333
What's this?

92
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:42,125
I believe it's for you.

93
00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:45,959
So, like,
no sports at all?

94
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:48,542
You're giving me
a car?

95
00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:49,709
I believe I am.

96
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:53,208
You're giving me
a car?

97
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:54,333
Yup.

98
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:56,625
Why?
'Cause I like you.

99
00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:59,291
You're insane.
People don't give
other people cars.

100
00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:00,500
No one does that.

101
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,250
Which makes you
very special.

102
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,959
Right. Well,
thank you, no.

103
00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:06,500
I'm afraid
my goodwill

104
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500
can't be bought
this easily.

105
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,834
Aw, come on!

106
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:12,208
You want to keep
driving that
piece of shit rental,

107
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:13,542
when you could be in...

108
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:15,166
(VOCALIZES)

109
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,709
You actually think
you can just undo
everything with this?

110
00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:20,917
"Hi, here's a car,

111
00:06:20,917 --> 00:06:22,542
"now forget
I screwed your wife."

112
00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:24,875
No. No. I'm not saying
forget what happened.

113
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,583
I'm just saying
look at this.

114
00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:30,500
(VOCALIZES)

115
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,959
Stop it.
I can't. It does it
automatically

116
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,834
in under
24.8 seconds.

117
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,375
Come on! You gotta
take this car!

118
00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:42,333
I do not.
It's a chick magnet.

119
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:45,291
I don't want
a chick magnet.

120
00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:46,917
And who still says
chick magnet?

121
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,166
Really?
No one says
chick magnet?

122
00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:50,208
No.

123
00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:52,250
I think we're still
saying it over here.

124
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,208
Well, then
you should all stop.

125
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:57,750
Okay, look, you have
your integrity.
I respect that.

126
00:06:58,291 --> 00:07:00,208
You know what else
I respect?

127
00:07:00,208 --> 00:07:03,417
A 3.7 liter V6
with traction control

128
00:07:03,417 --> 00:07:05,542
and an electronic
stability program.

129
00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:13,875
Manual
or automatic?

130
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:16,208
Seven-speed automatic.

131
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:18,875
It does
zero to 60 in,
like, six seconds.

132
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,750
Also, check out
the sound system.

133
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:23,667
13 speakers,
including two
in the headrest.

134
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:24,709
Huh!

135
00:07:30,625 --> 00:07:32,792
Well, I don't care.
No. I'm sorry.

136
00:07:32,792 --> 00:07:35,083
You can keep
your bloody car.

137
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,625
You destroyed
my marriage.

138
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:42,333
You betrayed
our friendship,
violated my trust.

139
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:44,917
You do not
get to come back
from that.

140
00:07:44,917 --> 00:07:46,583
You do not.

141
00:07:50,709 --> 00:07:51,959
(CLICKS TONGUE)

142
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,500
(SIGHS)

143
00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:59,000
Is it 'cause
it's white?

144
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:03,917
I wanted black,
but it was like
a six-week wait!

145
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:06,583
(SIGHS)

146
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,750
What is that
doing here?

147
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:19,166
I wanted you
to see it in
the daylight.

148
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,875
Oh, okay, well,
I've seen it.

149
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,709
Now could you
please move it?
You're in my space.

150
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:25,166
If this is your space,
this must be your car.

151
00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:29,333
This is my car.
And I'd like to get it
into my space.

152
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,750
It'd be so much easier
if this was your car

153
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,417
because it's already
in your space.

154
00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:35,500
Okay, I realize
you're enjoying
this verbal jousting...

155
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,041
(LOUD MUSIC BLARING
FROM CAR RADIO)

156
00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:48,625
Morning.

157
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:50,834
Are you fucking
kidding me?

158
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,834
What?
What?

159
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,667
You. In that car.

160
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,709
I know! (LAUGHS)
It's so not me.

161
00:08:59,375 --> 00:09:02,625
Oh, yours is white.
Lovely.

162
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:05,250
Well, if you'd like,
you can have
that one, too.

163
00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:07,375
What?
That's not my car.

164
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:08,667
Not yet.
Not ever.

165
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:09,834
We'll see.
We will not see.

166
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:14,542
I can't believe
you let him
give you a car.

167
00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:15,834
He told me
he was giving
you one, too.

168
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:17,500
I didn't take it!

169
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,208
No?
The man
destroyed our lives!

170
00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:24,041
I know. But at least
we're getting cars
out of it.

171
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,709
You know,
a little revenge.

172
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,375
Screw him. "I'll take
your bloody car!"

173
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:31,542
She's right.
Screw me.
Take the car.

174
00:09:31,542 --> 00:09:34,542
It's not revenge
if he's giving
them to us!

175
00:09:34,542 --> 00:09:35,834
He still has to
pay for them.

176
00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:37,000
Money means
nothing to him.

177
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,250
Well, that's a bit of
an exaggeration.

178
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,750
The man has
his own jet!

179
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:42,375
I'm very
comfortable.

180
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:43,875
(SIGHS)

181
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,583
Fine.
I'll give it back.

182
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:47,959
Too late.
Paperwork's already
processed.

183
00:09:47,959 --> 00:09:49,709
What does
that mean?
I don't know.

184
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,500
I'm just saying,
you're the car person.

185
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,959
You're only
hurting yourself.

186
00:09:56,959 --> 00:09:58,375
So you're really
going to keep it?

187
00:09:58,375 --> 00:09:59,667
I'm sorry.
It's so cute.

188
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,041
Unbelievable.
Remember when
you had principles?

189
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,208
Is it 'cause
it's white?

190
00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:05,125
No!
Morning.

191
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:08,875
Hi. Is it okay
if I leave
a little early?

192
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,417
I have
an audition.

193
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:12,834
Uh, I suppose.

194
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:13,959
It's for a movie.

195
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:15,250
Ah.

196
00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:19,375
Oh, God,
it ate Paul!

197
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:21,917
What?

198
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,709
That's the whole part.
"Oh, God, it ate Paul."

199
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,750
That one line.

200
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,208
Well, it sounds
like a good one.

201
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:30,750
Not for Paul.
Oh, have we got
last night's ratings?

202
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:33,583
Maybe.
Maybe?

203
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:35,667
I put something
on your desk.

204
00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:37,333
Ah.

205
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,375
Yup, those were
the ratings!

206
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:44,792
What were
the ratings?

207
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:45,959
Nothing.

208
00:10:51,792 --> 00:10:54,750
Am I totally confused,
or are these ratings
not good?

209
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,125
No, you're not
confused at all.

210
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:58,291
(PHONE RINGING)

211
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,458
Well, at least
I'm learning
how to read them.

212
00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:03,542
Should we
be concerned?

213
00:11:03,542 --> 00:11:05,417
WENDY:
Carol Rance on two.

214
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:07,583
Apparently, yes.

215
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,667
BOTH: Hi, Carol!

216
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:10,834
MALE ASSISTANT:
Hold for Carol, please.

217
00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:14,333
CAROL:  Hi, guys.
BOTH: Hi, Carol.

218
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,625
Listen, I'm sure
you've seen the numbers.

219
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:19,000
I'm just calling
to say not to worry.

220
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,333
BEVERLY:  Really?

221
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:24,000
Absolutely. We always
expected them to
go down in week two.

222
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000
It happens every time.
Sophomore slump.

223
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,250
(CHUCKLES)

224
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,667
We're not
bothered by it,
so don't you be.

225
00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:32,000
SEAN:  It just seems
like it's a
precipitous drop.

226
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,375
You think?

227
00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:37,083
Hey, you never like
to see them go
in that direction,

228
00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:38,834
but it's
completely normal.

229
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:41,333
Viewers sample a show,
you lose a few,

230
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,041
it finds its level.

231
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,750
Don't let it
get to you.

232
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:46,166
(GROANS)

233
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,834
You guys just keep
doing what
you're doing.

234
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,875
Keep making
with the funny.
We're all good.

235
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,834
All right...

236
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:57,750
We're so fucked.

237
00:11:58,041 --> 00:11:59,834
I know.
What are we
going to do?

238
00:12:00,583 --> 00:12:02,375
I don't know.
Do we pull it?

239
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,041
And replace it
with what?

240
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,542
I can actually
feel the acid
eating my stomach.

241
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,917
And by the way,
I spoke to Research.

242
00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:14,041
It's not just that
people don't like  Pucks!
The dog show is killing us.

243
00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:18,208
That fucking talking dog.
We had that
cock-sucking dog!

244
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:19,208
How did we
let it go?

245
00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:22,583
You said, "If anyone
wants to pay for
that piece of shit,

246
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:24,500
"let them have it."
I said that?

247
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:26,834
Oh.

248
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:29,875
Sounds like me.

249
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,250
Wait. One more
piece of good news.

250
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,625
Oh, come on!

251
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:37,792
Andy Button is suing you
and the network for
wrongful termination.

252
00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:38,875
Who's Andy Button?

253
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:42,208
Andy Button. Your head of
casting for five years?

254
00:12:42,208 --> 00:12:44,250
His last name
was Button?
Button.

255
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,709
And he's suing us why?

256
00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:47,709
He's claiming
you fired him

257
00:12:47,709 --> 00:12:49,625
because of his
sexual orientation.

258
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:51,458
I fired him 'cause
he's an idiot.

259
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:54,458
But I gotta say,
Button?

260
00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:56,583
That is really gay.

261
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:58,750
If you remember,
you fired him

262
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:01,667
because he was
the one who liked
the talking dog.

263
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:03,458
Again with
the fucking dog?

264
00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:06,792
Fine. Legal wants
to sit down with you
next week.

265
00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:07,875
My ball hurts.

266
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:09,583
Maybe 'cause
you're always
touching it.

267
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,125
Hey, when you've
only got one,

268
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:12,834
you like to make sure
it's still there.

269
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:14,959
So, this thing
with Andy...

270
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:16,667
Button.
Right.

271
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:20,041
Maybe I can talk to him
and make it go away.

272
00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,125
Can you?
I'll give it a shot.

273
00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:23,834
Was it always
"Button"?

274
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:25,959
Yes, Button.

275
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:27,792
(CHUCKLES)

276
00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:29,000
Button.

277
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,166
(EXHALES FORCEFULLY)
Okay.

278
00:13:38,166 --> 00:13:39,458
What?

279
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,166
Is that a tan?

280
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,166
Is it?

281
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:43,792
That bloody convertible.

282
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:45,375
You could be
this color, too.

283
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,500
Thank you, no.
I choose to
wear my ashen pallor

284
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:48,792
as a
badge of honor.

285
00:13:48,792 --> 00:13:50,250
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

286
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,083
Hello?
Hey.

287
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,000
I just wanted
to let you guys know

288
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,959
I can't be at
the table read today.

289
00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:04,000
But Myra's covering,
so you're in
good hands.

290
00:14:04,291 --> 00:14:05,917
Myra? (SIGHS)

291
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:09,542
Isn't there anyone...
Gotta go.
Talk to you later.

292
00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:15,375
Hey, you. Skinny.

293
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:18,333
Please. I've been
living on buttercream
frosting and tears.

294
00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:20,667
Shut up,
you look great.

295
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,333
Sir.

296
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,500
My lawyer told me
not to have this lunch.

297
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:29,333
Screw him.
I'm glad you did.
I miss you.

298
00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:31,959
I should warn you,
I'm ordering
everything expensive

299
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:34,000
on this menu and
taking most of it home.

300
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,250
Go for it.
And I'm not
dropping the suit.

301
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:41,709
Oh, okay.
So much for chit chat.

302
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:46,834
Can I ask,
do you really think

303
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:49,291
he fired you
because you're gay?

304
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:52,542
I'll just say this,
one person was
fired that day,

305
00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:55,750
and th one person
remembers what everyone
in the room was wearing.

306
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:58,875
And your lawyer
thinks that's enough
to build a case on?

307
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:01,542
I have a record
of four instances
where Merc

308
00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:04,208
called me
a cocksucker
in front of witnesses.

309
00:15:04,208 --> 00:15:08,709
That's just Merc.
Come on. He calls
everyone a cocksucker.

310
00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:11,041
He calls me
a cocksucker.

311
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,834
I'm just saying,
the man is
not homophobic.

312
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:19,417
I wouldn't work for him
if he were.

313
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:20,959
My brother is gay.

314
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:23,750
Your brother is gay?
He's hot.

315
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,125
The other one.
Oh.

316
00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:28,000
Look, can I
say something?

317
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:29,792
As your friend?

318
00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:34,750
Don't do this.
You'll get a reputation
for being litigious.

319
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,583
No one will
ever hire you.

320
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,250
No one will
hire me now.

321
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:41,542
There's nothing out there.
It's really depressing.

322
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:43,792
Let me ask you
something.

323
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:47,125
If I can get Merc
to say yes,

324
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:49,083
would you come back?

325
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,750
Like he ever would.

326
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,750
I don't know.
But we need you there.

327
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:57,542
Who believed in
the talking dog
when none of us did?

328
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:58,500
And look where
it got me.

329
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,125
I'm not making
any promises.

330
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:03,750
But if I can
get him on board,

331
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:06,000
would you be
willing to drop this

332
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:08,834
and come home?

333
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,125
He'd have
to apologize.

334
00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,583
We'll see.
And blow me.

335
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:17,875
(CHUCKLES)
One step
at a time.

336
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:21,166
I was kidding
about the apologizing.

337
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:26,417
That's it for today,
everybody, thank you.

338
00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:28,458
Really funny script.

339
00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:32,166
I just have
a few quick notes.

340
00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:41,542
On page 1, do we need
the joke about the iPads
and the maxi pads?

341
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,166
Yes.
We do?

342
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:44,250
Yes.
Is it funny?

343
00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:46,875
People laughed.
Did they?

344
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,834
Mmm-kay.

345
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:53,583
Why? What is it
about the joke...

346
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,792
She said, "Mmm-kay."
Right. Moving on.

347
00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:59,375
Hey, Matt, you're
wrapped for the day.

348
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:02,333
Sweet.
Also, Merc Lapidus's wife
is here to see you.

349
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:04,959
They put her in
your dressing room.

350
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,000
Hey.
I hope this is okay.

351
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,500
I was just on the lot
dropping something off
at Merc's.

352
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,125
Absolutely.

353
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:23,834
Actually, I kind of
have a favor to ask.

354
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:25,583
Shoot.

355
00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:27,875
I'm on the board
of the L.A. Civic Opera.

356
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:30,208
Oh, I love opera.
Really?

357
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,500
Oh, shit.
I was making a face.
I figured.

358
00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:38,333
So what's
your opera favor?

359
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,917
We've got
this big benefit
coming up

360
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:42,125
and Merc's going to
be honored as our
Man of the Year.

361
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:43,625
Oh, good for him.

362
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:46,542
We were wondering,
any chance you could
present him with the award?

363
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:49,000
Oh. Sure. Absolutely.

364
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,166
Oh, great.
That's really great.

365
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:56,083
Thank you.
Okay, great.

366
00:17:58,208 --> 00:17:59,959
So we're not going
to talk about
what happened?

367
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,250
No, you're right,
we definitely should.

368
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:02,709
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

369
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,000
Believe it or not,
I've never done anything
like that before.

370
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,750
Really? Then
I'm very impressed.

371
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:11,750
I don't know
what came over me.

372
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,125
I guess I was
just feeling,
if he could do it...

373
00:18:14,959 --> 00:18:16,375
Uh, what are you saying?

374
00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:18,750
Oh, come on.
Everyone knows
about Merc and Carol.

375
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,667
Seriously?
Merc and Carol?

376
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,917
By the way,
I have a very shocked
expression on my face.

377
00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:24,417
Please. You know.

378
00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:27,458
Yeah, but
I didn't know you knew.

379
00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:30,000
I may be blind,
but I'm not blind.

380
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,250
(LAUGHS)

381
00:18:32,917 --> 00:18:34,500
Okay.

382
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:37,792
Well, if there's
anything else
I can do...

383
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,291
You're sweet.

384
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,208
Seriously,
whatever you need.

385
00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:45,542
Are we still talking
about the award?

386
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,250
I wasn't.

387
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:50,417
(JAMIE MOANING)

388
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:02,250
Page 18.

389
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:07,750
Will anyone know who
Rudyard Kipling is?

390
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,500
Yes.
They will?

391
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,667
Yes.

392
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,333
Do you know who he is?
The writer guy?

393
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:17,375
There we go!
People aren't
so stupid after all.

394
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:19,083
Mmm-kay...

395
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:25,250
Page 21.
Do we need
the bats?

396
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,250
The what?
The bats.

397
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:32,083
Um, I'm going to go out
on a limb here and say
we do not need the bats,

398
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:36,417
as there are
no bats on page 21.

399
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:37,834
I wrote bats.

400
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:39,834
That does
look like bats.

401
00:19:40,709 --> 00:19:44,834
So, are you looking
to see if there are
suddenly bats on page 21?

402
00:19:44,834 --> 00:19:46,625
Could you
mean beats?
What?

403
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:48,583
Here, where
we've written in
the stage directions

404
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:52,875
that the actors
should take a beat?

405
00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:54,041
Yes.

406
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,291
So the pauses.
You're asking
if we need the pauses?

407
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:00,875
Yes.

408
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:06,125
Well, we like the pauses.
So why don't we
shoot the pauses,

409
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,458
and then if you
still don't like them,

410
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:10,000
we can always
have them cut
in post.

411
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:24,333
Mmm-kay.

412
00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,625
In the scene
at the ice rink,

413
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,333
can we establish
that Lyman's
a good coach?

414
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,250
Why?

415
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:34,959
We need to know
he's good at his job.

416
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,875
Why?
We need to
like him.

417
00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:38,542
And if he's good
at his job,
we'll like him?

418
00:20:38,542 --> 00:20:40,625
No, she's right.
We don't like people

419
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:41,750
who aren't good
at their jobs.

420
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:44,375
In fact, sometimes
we hate people

421
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,166
who aren't good
at their jobs.

422
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,417
Exactly.

423
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:49,834
(BOTH GROAN)

424
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,208
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

425
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:54,667
Hello.
BEVERLY:  Never again.

426
00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:55,750
Okay.

427
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:06,333
Forget it. I'm not going
to re-hire some cocksucker
who's trying to sue me.

428
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,542
Okay, you need
a new word.

429
00:21:08,542 --> 00:21:11,000
I can't believe we're even
having this conversation.

430
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,125
Look, he's smart.
He's got great instincts.

431
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:15,542
I think
he's a big plus.

432
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,625
And what about
the new casting guy?
Arnold?

433
00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:20,458
Ronald?
Kip.

434
00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:22,083
Kip? You sure?

435
00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:23,250
Kip.

436
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:24,333
Huh.

437
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:26,917
So we're just gonna
get rid of Kip?

438
00:21:26,917 --> 00:21:30,291
No, we can keep Kip.
He'll still run Casting.

439
00:21:30,291 --> 00:21:32,208
I'll put Andy
on my team.

440
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,583
It's a lot easier
than a law suit.

441
00:21:34,583 --> 00:21:37,583
No. I don't care.
Let him take me
to court.

442
00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:40,625
It's bullshit,
and I'm not going
to be blackmailed.

443
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:42,458
There's a matter
of principle here.

444
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:44,208
All right.
Just one question.

445
00:21:44,583 --> 00:21:45,959
Do you really
want New York

446
00:21:45,959 --> 00:21:49,166
finding out you fired
the one guy who said
we should go with

447
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:50,834
the talking dog?

448
00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:54,417
(SIGHS)

449
00:21:57,834 --> 00:21:58,792
What else?

450
00:21:59,375 --> 00:22:02,750
Golub and Meyers pitched
a show about a guy who gets

451
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:05,500
downsized and moves back
to his home town.

452
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,625
No.
Okay.

453
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,083
Harry Zimm
has a cute pilot

454
00:22:09,375 --> 00:22:11,208
about a woman
who gets divorced

455
00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,625
and has to move back
with her mother.

456
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:16,375
It's called
Not If I Kill You First.

457
00:22:16,375 --> 00:22:17,750
(ALL LAUGHING)

458
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:18,667
No. No!

459
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,542
No one
moving back to
their home town!

460
00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:24,458
No relatives
moving in with
other relatives!

461
00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:25,709
Do you think
it's possible
we could

462
00:22:25,709 --> 00:22:27,875
actually find
something different
from the same crap

463
00:22:27,875 --> 00:22:29,125
that's killing us now?

464
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:30,834
Is that asking
too much?

465
00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:33,083
I've got something
about an alien.

466
00:22:33,083 --> 00:22:34,375
Fine.

467
00:22:34,375 --> 00:22:36,041
So long as he doesn't
go back to his planet

468
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:37,333
and move in
with his parents.

469
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:38,250
Oh.

470
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:41,125
Oh, my God.
It's called
Beam Me Home.

471
00:22:42,333 --> 00:22:44,417
(SIGHS) Fine.
Let's try this again.

472
00:22:44,792 --> 00:22:46,500
Maybe
I wasn't clear.

473
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:49,583
I want one
goddamn fresh idea.

474
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:51,291
Just one.

475
00:22:52,083 --> 00:22:55,959
Yes. Andy.
Button. Go.

476
00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,917
What other
animals can talk?

477
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:28,875
Hey.

478
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,458
So she's delivering
the hand-jobs now?

479
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:32,542
Very convenient.

480
00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:35,458
No. She came here
to ask me
to present an award

481
00:23:35,458 --> 00:23:36,959
at one of her
charity things.

482
00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:38,417
Right.

483
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:41,125
I swear. She did not
give me a hand-job.

484
00:23:46,917 --> 00:23:48,750
All right. It did get
a little blowy and fucky,

485
00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,333
but totally
hands-free!

486
00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:52,000
Unbelievable.
Aw, come on!

487
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,709
There's nothing
left to say.

488
00:23:53,709 --> 00:23:55,834
The woman's husband
is our boss.

489
00:23:55,834 --> 00:23:58,041
The fate of our show
is in his hands.

490
00:23:58,041 --> 00:23:59,792
She threw herself at me!

491
00:23:59,792 --> 00:24:02,625
Oh, and you couldn't
fend off the brutal,
blind woman?

492
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:05,709
Hey, it's hard to say no.
But I don't have to
tell you that.

493
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,083
Meaning what?

494
00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:10,792
Al the camera guy

495
00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:14,625
saw you making out
with Morning in the
parking lot last week.

496
00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:16,750
That... I...

497
00:24:16,750 --> 00:24:18,542
Mmm? Yes?

498
00:24:18,542 --> 00:24:21,375
That... I...
That's completely different.

499
00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:24,083
What I may or
may not have done
with Morning

500
00:24:24,083 --> 00:24:25,500
does not put our show
in jeopardy.

501
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:28,667
Right. 'Cause you boning
one of your stars
is good for the show.

502
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:29,792
That always
works out well.

503
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:31,792
First of all, I never
said that we boned.

504
00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:33,083
Did you?

505
00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:39,458
(WHOOPS)
Finally! England scores!

506
00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:41,583
I'd say
that deserves a car.

507
00:24:43,875 --> 00:24:45,417
Have you been
walking around with
those in your pocket,

508
00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:46,458
just waiting
to do that?

509
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,667
Maybe.
Well, for the last time,
keep your bloody car.

510
00:24:50,667 --> 00:24:52,250
Oh, come on!

511
00:24:52,250 --> 00:24:53,625
This is the only time
in your life

512
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,041
when someone's
gonna actually

513
00:24:55,041 --> 00:24:57,500
give you a car.
A car.

514
00:24:57,917 --> 00:25:00,917
Take the goddamn car.
Don't be an asshole.

515
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:02,375
Have you
been practicing?

516
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:07,667
Listen to me.
No car. Forget it.

517
00:25:07,959 --> 00:25:10,458
You don't get
to win this time.

518
00:25:13,834 --> 00:25:16,000
You think this is
about winning?

519
00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:21,000
I don't care if you
take the fucking car.

520
00:25:21,291 --> 00:25:22,375
Maybe you
haven't noticed,

521
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:24,166
I don't like
a lot of people,

522
00:25:24,166 --> 00:25:25,792
I don't trust
a lot of people.

523
00:25:25,792 --> 00:25:28,458
So when I meet someone
that I actually want to
hang out with,

524
00:25:28,458 --> 00:25:31,000
it really pisses me off
when I screw it up.

525
00:25:33,208 --> 00:25:35,333
I hate what
happened with us.

526
00:25:35,792 --> 00:25:38,083
So I'm trying to
do what I can to
make it right.

527
00:25:38,083 --> 00:25:40,000
This is
the best I got.

528
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:41,500
An Infiniti?

529
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,542
What, you want
a Bentley?

530
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,583
It's not like
I fucking killed
your wife.

531
00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:51,625
I'm never going
to forgive you.

532
00:25:51,625 --> 00:25:52,542
Okay.

533
00:25:52,542 --> 00:25:54,750
I will never get past
what happened.

534
00:25:55,208 --> 00:25:56,333
I get that.

535
00:25:58,166 --> 00:26:00,500
I just want you
to know
how sorry I am.

536
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,500
And that I have
learned my lesson.

537
00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:06,375
And the fact that
you're screwing someone
else's wife now...

538
00:26:06,375 --> 00:26:07,709
But I'm not
screwing yours.

539
00:26:07,709 --> 00:26:09,583
That was the lesson.

540
00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:11,000
God.

541
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,083
(CHUCKLES)

542
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,125
What's the likelihood
of this ending in a hug?

543
00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:20,875
Very, very slim.

544
00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:23,500
How about I hug you
and you just stand there.

545
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:40,709
(SIGHS)

546
00:27:12,291 --> 00:27:13,834
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON TV)

547
00:27:13,834 --> 00:27:16,250
MAN ON TV:  You're a dog,
why are you even
talking to my accountant?

548
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,500
TALKING DOG:  Yeah, well,
see if you're
still saying that

549
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:21,250
after you get your refund.

550
00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:25,208
No offense, but I'm not
that comfortable taking
financial advice

551
00:27:25,208 --> 00:27:27,834
from someone who licks
other dogs' asses.

552
00:27:28,458 --> 00:27:30,750
I can't help it!
They're delicious.

553
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,625
Here, try one.

554
00:27:34,125 --> 00:27:37,333
Get that out of my face.
Get it out of my face!
Get it out!

555
00:27:37,333 --> 00:27:38,500
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)