1 00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,753 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:21,720 (Teddy groans) 3 00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:24,097 Everything okay, Teddy? You keep looking at that letter 4 00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:25,507 and making that noise. 5 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,417 Mm. It's an invitation from the navy. 6 00:00:27,436 --> 00:00:29,361 What, the navy doesn't have Evite? 7 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,196 Are you shipping out, sailor? 8 00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,257 Are we talking new navy or old navy? 9 00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,868 Uh, the frigate I served on is getting decommissioned. 10 00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:37,202 They're gonna scuttle the old girl. 11 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,686 Buy her dinner first, right? 12 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,948 I think I understood three of those words, Teddy. 13 00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,433 Oh, sorry. A frigate's a ship, 14 00:00:43,452 --> 00:00:45,619 and scuttling is sinking it on purpose. 15 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,287 Wait, why are they sinking it on purpose? 16 00:00:47,439 --> 00:00:48,955 Is it because if they can't have it, 17 00:00:49,124 --> 00:00:50,198 -no one else can? -Kind of. 18 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,383 It's getting decommissioned. 19 00:00:51,493 --> 00:00:53,460 Once a navy ship gets too old to be useful, 20 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,220 a lot of times, they'll torpedo it. 21 00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:56,722 And then it sinks to the bottom of the ocean 22 00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:59,707 and becomes an artificial reef for fish and sea monsters, 23 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,134 -I assume. -Frigate. 24 00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:03,044 -Gene, don't say "frigate." -It's not a bad word. 25 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,380 I want to hear more about the torpedoing part. 26 00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,715 Where are they doing it? When are they doing it? 27 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,050 Can we buy tickets to watch? 28 00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,569 And can I be the one to push the button? 29 00:01:10,796 --> 00:01:12,145 And if I'm the one pushing the button, 30 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,555 do I really need to buy a ticket? 31 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,649 Yeah, it's happening next week out at sea. 32 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,076 No one's invited to that. 33 00:01:17,227 --> 00:01:19,319 But, uh, those of us who served on the maiden voyage 34 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,971 are invited to a ceremony tomorrow. 35 00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:22,397 It's in Bog Harbor 36 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,582 because they built part of the ship there. 37 00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:24,808 The toilets, I think. 38 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,568 That's fun. That's exciting. 39 00:01:26,645 --> 00:01:28,587 So why are you being all mopey about it? 40 00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:30,330 Well, I'm probably not gonna go. 41 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,166 What? You have to go. It's a ceremony. 42 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:34,576 Ah, I don't know. I'm just not sure 43 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,762 I want to run into any of my old shipmates. 44 00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:38,505 Why not? Don't you want to reminisce 45 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,598 about the good ol' days? 46 00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:41,082 Put on your little sailor suits 47 00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:42,434 and dance around the town? 48 00:01:42,544 --> 00:01:44,828 -Aw. -I mean, I loved being in the navy, 49 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:47,164 but, uh, it wasn't all great. 50 00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,923 There was this one incident. 51 00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,167 Wha...? What happened? 52 00:01:50,185 --> 00:01:52,260 Just a silly little mistake. 53 00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:55,005 Did you launch the nukes accidentally on purpose, 54 00:01:55,023 --> 00:01:56,115 -wink-wink? -No. 55 00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:57,432 Did you fall in love with a mermaid, 56 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,100 and then she became human for you, 57 00:01:59,194 --> 00:02:00,861 then she missed the ocean, and she returned to the sea, 58 00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:03,104 -and you never got over it? -No, not that. 59 00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:04,439 Teddy, just tell us the story! 60 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:07,534 -Sorry. Sorry. -(groans) All right, fine. 61 00:02:07,611 --> 00:02:08,961 We were in the middle of a deployment 62 00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:10,370 in the middle of the Pacific, 63 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,964 and it was the middle of the night. 64 00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:13,632 LOUISE: Lot of middles, Malcolm. 65 00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:15,692 TEDDY: I was scrubbing the deck when an officer came by. 66 00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:18,470 You always have to salute an officer, so I did. 67 00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,622 -But he was a ghost. -No, he was really there. 68 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,807 But what wasn't there 69 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:25,460 was a railing, so I kind of fell into the ocean. 70 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,812 (screams) 71 00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:29,539 Which happens sometimes but almost never. 72 00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:32,542 They rang the bell and stopped the ship and fished me out. 73 00:02:32,711 --> 00:02:35,470 And everyone woke up and saw it. It was not great. 74 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,381 So, hey, you fell off your ship one time 75 00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:39,065 and had to get rescued. Big deal. 76 00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:40,659 -Two times. -Two times? 77 00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:44,221 Yeah. I-I fell off a second time, on the same night. 78 00:02:44,314 --> 00:02:46,665 Yeah, I was showing some guys how easy it is to fall in. 79 00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:48,408 And then I fell in again. 80 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,559 (screams) 81 00:02:49,653 --> 00:02:50,652 Oh, Teddy. 82 00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:52,337 I mean, that's not that bad. 83 00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,339 It was bad. I got a nickname. 84 00:02:54,491 --> 00:02:56,400 -Captain Drippy? -Admiral Belly Flop? 85 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:58,568 -Double-Dip. -Double-Dip? Oh, that's good. 86 00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,679 -Sorry. -For the rest of the deployment, 87 00:03:00,906 --> 00:03:01,922 everyone called me Double-Dip. 88 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,757 Then that's all I was to everybody. 89 00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:05,166 So that's why I don't want to go 90 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,168 to the farewell ceremony tomorrow. 91 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,520 No, you got to go. 92 00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,522 Lin, it doesn't sound like Teddy wants to go. 93 00:03:10,749 --> 00:03:11,915 He needs to go. 94 00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,084 -I do? -Yes. Otherwise, they win. 95 00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:15,252 -They do? -Yeah. 96 00:03:15,421 --> 00:03:16,770 But if you go, you win. 97 00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:19,180 You'll show them you don't care about some dumb nickname. 98 00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:20,741 But I kind of do care about it. 99 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,609 It comes up quite a bit in therapy. 100 00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:24,444 That and my thing about shopping carts. 101 00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:26,538 Look, something similar happened to me 102 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,706 when I was in high school. 103 00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:29,433 You fell off a high school frigate? 104 00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:31,859 No. I was over at Debbie Bernardini's house 105 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,770 for a sleepover with a group of girls 106 00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,455 who I thought were my friends. 107 00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:38,050 We were watching a scary movie that was very popular 108 00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,367 at the time. I forget what it was called. 109 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,553 There was a guy, he was killing people. 110 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,129 -You know the one. Anyway, -(gasps) 111 00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:44,723 so, someone got killed, and we all screamed, 112 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,541 -and I farted. -(farts) 113 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,951 But it turns out it was more than just a fart. 114 00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:49,636 A little bit of poop came out, too. 115 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,212 It was pretty obvious when the smell didn't go away. 116 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,139 And I also went into the bathroom, 117 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,900 and I might have kind of shouted, 118 00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:56,977 "Oh, no, a little bit of poop came out! 119 00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,553 There's poop! There's poop!" 120 00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,887 And they called me Death by Chocolate. 121 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,055 And they laughed a lot. 122 00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:02,724 And I didn't go 123 00:04:02,818 --> 00:04:04,243 to another sleepover for the rest of high school. 124 00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,727 You are pretty vocal in the bathroom 125 00:04:05,821 --> 00:04:08,396 -about what's going on. -Yeah, a lot of commentary. 126 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,082 She's like Ken Burns in there. 127 00:04:10,309 --> 00:04:13,310 It helps to talk it through. Anyway, I let them win. 128 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:16,255 Teddy, that's why you got to go to your thing, so you win. 129 00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:17,905 That's a touching story, Linda, 130 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,741 but I don't know if I can face those guys. 131 00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:21,334 -We'll come with you. -Really? 132 00:04:21,487 --> 00:04:22,319 No. No, no, no. 133 00:04:22,337 --> 00:04:23,670 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah. 134 00:04:23,822 --> 00:04:25,264 As emotional support. And muscle if you need it. 135 00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:28,267 But not going is also a reasonable option. 136 00:04:28,494 --> 00:04:30,160 I mean, if you guys came with me, 137 00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:31,586 I'd feel a lot better about going. 138 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,680 And they're gonna have a bunch of music and food. 139 00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:35,107 It says "Bring the whole family." 140 00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:36,683 It doesn't say whose family. 141 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,610 -Please? -Please, please, please? I want to get a picture 142 00:04:38,762 --> 00:04:41,113 -of me with a torpedo for my own personal Christmas card. -Yeah, Dad. 143 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,949 I hear you're supposed to do fun activities with your kids. 144 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,859 -Come on, Bob. -(groans) 145 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,177 O-Okay, fine. 146 00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:48,287 -Frigate. -Gene. 147 00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:50,438 GENE: Do we look okay, Teddy? 148 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,774 -Are we under-tattooed? -Should we go on shore leave 149 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,275 and cause a ruckus with some locals? 150 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,353 -Come back with a shiner? -And cans of spinach 151 00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:58,204 that you somehow suck through the can? 152 00:04:58,357 --> 00:04:59,631 Oh, boy, here we go. 153 00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:02,116 Sheesh, I can't believe it's been 30 years. 154 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:03,135 You and the ship look amazing. 155 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,694 One of you has barnacles on them, 156 00:05:04,713 --> 00:05:06,546 but I'm not gonna say who 'cause I'm a gentleman sailor. 157 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,715 Come on, let's go touch stuff we're not supposed to. 158 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,292 Uh, okay, but don't do that. 159 00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:13,961 Uh, I'm so nervous. My ears are sweating. 160 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,221 No, they're no... Oh, my God, they are. 161 00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:16,873 I thought it was an earring. 162 00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:19,042 Remember, just by showing up today, you win, and they lose. 163 00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:20,152 TONY (chuckles): Hey. 164 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,486 Check it out. It's Double-Dip. 165 00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,396 (chuckles): Double-Dip is here. No way. 166 00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:26,550 How'd you get here? Did you swim over? (laughs) 167 00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:28,660 -Oh, boy. -Okay, they win, I lose. Let's go. 168 00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:30,829 Come on, Teddy. Just stay for a little bit. 169 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,722 An hour tops. Six drinks. 170 00:05:32,741 --> 00:05:34,482 Just kidding. Sort of. There's drinks, right? 171 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,651 -Yeah. -Good. Hey, you can do this. 172 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,578 We'll be here for you. Right next to you. 173 00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:40,038 -Right, Bob? -Uh, sure. 174 00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,340 Or-or behind you. 175 00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,900 It just kind of depends on how everyone's standing. 176 00:05:43,919 --> 00:05:45,010 Okay, fine. An hour. 177 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,845 And maybe you guys hold my hands the whole time? 178 00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:49,406 -No? Probably not? -RAUL: Get over here. 179 00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:51,833 -And try not to fall in. -(all laugh) 180 00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,259 I don't like it. I don't like it. 181 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,519 -I don't like it. -It's gonna be great. 182 00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:56,438 -Come on, let's do this ship. -(Teddy groans) 183 00:06:00,602 --> 00:06:03,587 Hey, Tony, Raul, Billy. Good to see you all. 184 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,513 Double-Dip, you came. Wow. 185 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,515 Of course he came. He's a navy man 186 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,202 showing off his old ship to his not-navy friends. 187 00:06:10,395 --> 00:06:12,112 We're his biggest fans. We're like his groupies. 188 00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:13,597 -Right, Bob? -BOB: Mm. 189 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:15,356 It's great to see you, DD. That's short for Double-D, 190 00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:16,766 which is short for Double-Dip. 191 00:06:16,935 --> 00:06:18,435 'Cause he fell in the ocean twice. 192 00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:22,047 (laughs) Yeah, I forgot all about that Double-Dip stuff. 193 00:06:22,198 --> 00:06:23,790 So glad you brought it up. 194 00:06:23,942 --> 00:06:26,126 I got to go over there now and see what that stuff is 195 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,128 over on that thing. The table? 196 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,704 What is it, food? (laughs) 197 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,948 -Okay, see you later. -Okay. 198 00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:34,801 Oh, God. Oh, God. Has it been an hour yet? 199 00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,210 I think it's been, like, ten minutes? 200 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,563 If we round up from one minute. 201 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:40,381 Come on, you're doing great. 202 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,733 You're sticking it to those navy ninnies. 203 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,735 Do you know how much I wish I could go to a boat party 204 00:06:43,962 --> 00:06:45,629 with the Debbie Bernardini crew right now and say, 205 00:06:45,647 --> 00:06:47,889 "Look at me. No chocolate on this dress"? 206 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,984 God, I'd kill for that. Oh, actually, that is chocolate. 207 00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:52,077 Where'd you get chocolate? 208 00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:53,319 -I don't know. -LOUISE: Well, 209 00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,080 terrible news. Turns out all the weapons 210 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,640 were taken off this ship weeks ago. 211 00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:59,325 Apparently, it's "not safe" to scuttle a ship 212 00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:02,087 with missiles on board. This is why I don't pay taxes. 213 00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:05,315 We did see a knot-tying workshop for the sailors' kids. Eh? 214 00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:07,241 I mean, why "knot"? (chuckles) 215 00:07:07,335 --> 00:07:09,410 I could finally learn how to tie these bad boys. 216 00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:10,820 Mom tied them a year ago, 217 00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:12,747 and now I just try not to have to take them off. 218 00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,749 Pass. I know all the knots I need to know 219 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,250 from Tina's Thundergirl handbook. 220 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,085 Oh, yeah. I was supposed to learn those, 221 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,512 but I did "knot." 222 00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:21,589 Seriously, though, I didn't get my knot-tying badge 223 00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,366 because I made too many knot jokes. 224 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,018 -I'm funny at Thundergirls. -BOB: I-I would do knots. 225 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,520 I-I've always wanted to be a knots guy. 226 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,115 I mean, it's for kids, but I'm sure it isn't weird 227 00:07:30,342 --> 00:07:31,283 if a grown man is also learning. 228 00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:33,285 You can pretend to be our dad. 229 00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:35,512 All right, everyone got their rope? 230 00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:37,013 If that's what this is. 231 00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:38,272 Schmitty, is that you? 232 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,126 Oh. No, I'm-I'm not, uh, Schmitty. 233 00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:42,869 -I-I'm-I'm Bob. -Wow. 234 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,278 You are the spitting image. 235 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,705 Raul, look at this guy over here. 236 00:07:45,857 --> 00:07:47,114 Doesn't he look like Schmitty? 237 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,967 Huh. Now that you mention it, 238 00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:50,210 yeah, he's the spitting image. 239 00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:51,878 TINA: Huh, he does look like Schmitty. 240 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,380 -Wait, who's Schmitty? -I mean, I knew he wasn't coming today. 241 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,549 He's in Florida doing that deep-sea salvage stuff. 242 00:07:56,702 --> 00:08:00,127 Sunken treasure. That's the life, huh? Schmitty. 243 00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:02,981 -"Sunken treasure" is what I call Dad's butt. -Gene. 244 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:04,799 All right, we're gonna start off 245 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,485 with a simple but important knot: 246 00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:07,635 the bowline. 247 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,729 Make a loop. Tag end goes through. 248 00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:11,881 Under and over. Back through. 249 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,659 Bowline. Let's see how you all did. 250 00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:16,219 Good. Nice. Eh, 251 00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,478 boy, you really aren't Schmitty. 252 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,313 Sorry, can-can you show me one more time? 253 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,316 -You-you went really fast. -"Knot" too fast for me. 254 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,002 Actually, it was a little fast. 255 00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:25,987 Okay. Make a loop, pass it through, 256 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,065 under and over and back through and... 257 00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,343 -Still too fast? -Still too fast. -I'm good. 258 00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:34,254 Okay. Here's how we teach the little kids. 259 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,906 The rabbit comes up from his hole, 260 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,241 runs around the tree 261 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,076 and then goes back into his hole. 262 00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:42,912 Your rabbit didn't make it back into its hole. 263 00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:45,357 -Wait, where is your rabbit? -Uh, uh... 264 00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:47,174 Dad, what did you do to your rabbit?! 265 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,585 Okay, enough food, Teddy. 266 00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,695 Let's hit the bar, get some alcohol inside of you. 267 00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,680 Eh, but Tony and the guys are at the bar. 268 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,199 Teddy, it's a free country. 269 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,608 And free drinks. Come on. 270 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,245 Have you considered challenging them to a navy duel, 271 00:08:58,430 --> 00:08:59,946 which I assume involves water guns? 272 00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,781 TEDDY: Let's hope it doesn't come to that. 273 00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:04,358 (laughs loudly) Teddy, you're so witty, 274 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,436 and you know so much about ships and life, 275 00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,713 and you just don't care what people think about you. 276 00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:11,624 (laughs) Oh, you guys again. Hi. 277 00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:13,626 Hey, I just came back from the supply room 278 00:09:13,779 --> 00:09:14,611 and picked up my memento. 279 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,129 -What'd you get? -I got a pad eye. 280 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,538 TONY: Me, too. Picked it up 281 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,907 -when I first got here. -What's a pad eye? 282 00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,450 -It's like a cleat. -What's a cleat? 283 00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,060 It's a thing you secure a rope to. 284 00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:23,636 Rope! I know rope. 285 00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:25,546 So, wait, we can just take stuff from the ship? 286 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,807 -Dibs on that huge cannon. -TEDDY: No, Louise. 287 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,475 Only sailors from the maiden voyage 288 00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:31,644 can take something off the ship before they sink it. 289 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,406 -What are you getting, Teddy? -Oh, nothing. 290 00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:35,574 What? Why nothing? 291 00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:37,576 'Cause I didn't put in a request for anything. 292 00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:39,411 They should give a life vest to Double-Dip. 293 00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:41,487 Ha! Good one, Billy. That was a good one. 294 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:44,808 -Right. Double-D? -(laughs) Yeah. I'm not upset. 295 00:09:44,826 --> 00:09:47,602 -(laughs, sighs) -Hello, ma'am. 296 00:09:47,604 --> 00:09:48,903 Beers for my friends 297 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,814 and, uh, have you ever heard of a Twisted Monkey? 298 00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,499 -I have not. -It's a ginger ale and ice, twisted. 299 00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:56,319 And then you make a noise like a monkey when you give it to me. 300 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:57,503 I don't know if I want to do that. 301 00:09:57,656 --> 00:09:59,264 Okay, I'll make the noise like a monkey. 302 00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:01,324 Wait, Teddy, I don't get it. 303 00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:02,601 Why didn't you ask for part of the ship? 304 00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:03,935 I didn't think I was gonna come. 305 00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:05,419 Plus, what was I gonna write on the letter? 306 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,963 "Hi, I'm the guy who fell off the ship twice. 307 00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:09,332 Can I please have something"? 308 00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:10,275 They probably would've stamped it 309 00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:12,093 with "Request denied, idiot." 310 00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,020 Thank you. (imitates monkey) 311 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,447 Not so hard, is it? 312 00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:18,432 Well, is there a part of the ship that you would want? 313 00:10:18,526 --> 00:10:19,951 I mean, I wouldn't say no to a pad eye. 314 00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:22,178 Who would? It's a pad eye. It's like a cleat. 315 00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:24,013 Well, then, let's get you a pad eye. 316 00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:26,199 We can't. The request had to be in months ago. 317 00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:28,685 -There's got to be a way. -Nah, forget it. 318 00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:30,962 I don't even deserve part of the ship. (sighs) 319 00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:35,300 Teddy, uh, Louise and I are gonna... go pee! 320 00:10:35,451 --> 00:10:36,376 She shouted. 321 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,861 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be right back. 322 00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:39,304 Listen, it's not right that Teddy 323 00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:41,698 doesn't get anything from this ship while Tony 324 00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,032 gets to take a pad eye with him 325 00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:44,476 even though he was a total poop deck to Teddy 326 00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,478 -the whole time. -They never said the sea was fair. 327 00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:48,629 I say we find a way to get Teddy something. 328 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:51,391 Something better than a pad eye. That's how he'll win. 329 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,377 Yeah, that kind of makes sense in a dumb, beautiful way. 330 00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:57,563 So, are you in for operation "Go Get a Part of the Ship 331 00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:59,232 from That Supply Room Place for Teddy"? 332 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,808 -Uh, yeah. Sure. -Okay. 333 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,977 Thought there was gonna be a little more energy there, 334 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,387 -but great. -And after that, 335 00:11:04,406 --> 00:11:06,331 -we find the frickin' torpedoes. -There's the energy. 336 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,042 But probably not with the torpedo thing. 337 00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:14,488 So, what's the plan? We're just gonna ask 338 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:15,565 for a piece of the ship for Teddy? 339 00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:16,916 We'll ask nicely. 340 00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:19,493 And we'll say, "Please make it slightly better than a pad eye." 341 00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,070 Nope. Can't do that. 342 00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,014 -Pretty please? -Uh, no. 343 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:25,575 -Aw, frigate. -Okay, good start. Good start. 344 00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:28,502 And that is how you tie the sheet bend knot. 345 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,264 Can't wait till someone asks me how to do a sheet bend. 346 00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,765 Still working on the bowline? 347 00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,192 Almost got it. 348 00:11:34,343 --> 00:11:36,252 There! I did it! Damn it. 349 00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:38,012 I bet Schmitty can tie a bowline. 350 00:11:38,106 --> 00:11:39,531 Schmitty can tie any knot. 351 00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:42,275 He even invented his own knot: the Schmitty Liddy. 352 00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,202 Best knot in the world for securing lids. 353 00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:45,762 -So cool. -GENE: Mm-hmm. 354 00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:48,264 Why, oh, why would God bless you with Schmitty's face 355 00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:50,934 -but curse you with those hands? -I don't know. 356 00:11:50,952 --> 00:11:52,602 Okay, everybody done with the sheet bend? 357 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,938 Hold them up. Looking good. I'll... 358 00:11:54,956 --> 00:11:56,381 check in with your bowline in a bit. 359 00:11:56,608 --> 00:11:59,050 Maybe a little time apart will do us both some good. 360 00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,385 I'm gonna get it. 361 00:12:00,612 --> 00:12:02,278 You, uh, you kids want to learn hitch knots? 362 00:12:02,371 --> 00:12:03,613 Hitch, please. 363 00:12:03,631 --> 00:12:05,223 LINDA: There's got to be a piece of this ship 364 00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:07,116 you can give our friend that no one's claimed. 365 00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:08,451 He's really nice. 366 00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:10,544 A little sad but nice. He's not too sad. 367 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,546 Look, next time your friend wants a souvenir 368 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,640 from an $80 million piece of U.S. military property 369 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,902 that requires prior approval, he might want to plan ahead. 370 00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:19,571 It just seems like there are so many parts 371 00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:22,148 still on the ship, and it's getting sunk next week, and... 372 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,909 Scuttled. (scoffs) Sorry about my mom. 373 00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,244 It's okay. I have one, too. 374 00:12:26,395 --> 00:12:27,579 Listen, we come from land, 375 00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,748 and we can get you any land thing you want. 376 00:12:29,824 --> 00:12:32,584 I could be back here in 20 minutes with magazines, 377 00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:34,978 potato chips, houseplants, 378 00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:36,421 water that's not salty. 379 00:12:36,572 --> 00:12:38,815 Please don't try and bribe me with potato chips 380 00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,833 and houseplants. It's very insulting. 381 00:12:40,986 --> 00:12:43,928 I've been off a ship once. I know about that stuff. 382 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,413 -LINDA: But... -I'm gonna start ignoring you two. 383 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,099 Please go somewhere not here now. 384 00:12:48,251 --> 00:12:49,917 I think we're getting close. 385 00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:51,344 Ugh! Stupid rope. 386 00:12:51,496 --> 00:12:53,420 It's not the rope's fault. Have you ever been checked 387 00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:55,498 for whatever it is you seem to have? 388 00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:56,441 Rope dyslexia? 389 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,443 I guess maybe I just don't get knots. 390 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,520 But you're good at lots of other stuff, Dad. 391 00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,447 Like making burgers. Uh... 392 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,358 -Gene, you want to jump in here? -Folding towels. 393 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,510 Folding towels. I was just about to say that. 394 00:13:07,529 --> 00:13:09,954 Actually, I'm not that good at folding towels. 395 00:13:10,181 --> 00:13:11,197 (whispers): He's not. 396 00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,625 -Well, that was a bust. -Poor Teddy. 397 00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:15,351 He deserves something from this ship. 398 00:13:15,444 --> 00:13:17,444 Hey, if you want to do another look-see down below 399 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,022 for a torpedo they might've forgotten about, 400 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,524 -I'm with you. -Ugh, I hate when bullies win. 401 00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:23,635 These guys and the Debbie Bernardinis 402 00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:27,196 and the Biffs and whoever the bad guy in Superman was. 403 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,640 -I hate it! -(bell clangs) 404 00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:29,790 Huh. 405 00:13:29,884 --> 00:13:32,051 -What are you doing? -Who, me? 406 00:13:32,203 --> 00:13:33,478 I'm just noticing how this bell... 407 00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:35,388 (grunts) ...seems to want to be off this ship. 408 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,315 (grunts) And if it just falls off, 409 00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,317 then it's not like we took it at all. 410 00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:40,985 -(grunts) -Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a loose tooth. 411 00:13:41,212 --> 00:13:42,153 It wants to come out. 412 00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:43,880 (grunts) Whoopsie! 413 00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,324 -(gasps) -Mama, you make me so proud. 414 00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,142 Hi, sailors. How you doing? 415 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,144 Oceans, huh? So much water. 416 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,055 All right, come on, come on. Let's give this to Teddy 417 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,406 and get out of here. 418 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,500 Where have you been? I stress-ate all the crab cakes, 419 00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,651 and now I'm starting in on the cocktail weenies, 420 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,395 and everyone keeps giving me the evil eye. 421 00:13:59,414 --> 00:14:00,746 Can we go now, please? 422 00:14:00,899 --> 00:14:05,176 Yes, we can leave now, but you're gonna leave a winner. 423 00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:06,419 Eh? 424 00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:08,847 -Why do you have that? -We got it for you. 425 00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,182 A little souvenir. Better than a pad eye. 426 00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:12,575 I mean, it's bigger. Jingly-er. 427 00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,428 He's speechless. A simple "thank you" is fine. 428 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,929 Why would you think I'd want this bell? 429 00:14:17,082 --> 00:14:18,264 This is the deck bell. 430 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,416 It's the bell they rang when I fell overboard. 431 00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:22,193 I hear this bell in my nightmares. 432 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:26,272 Well, now you can hear it when you're awake. Right? 433 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,758 Also, you can't steal something off a navy ship. 434 00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,017 You can get in big trouble. 435 00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:32,278 We got to put it back before anyone notices. 436 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,372 Or we just toss it overboard? A little mini scuttle? 437 00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,449 No. We got to put it back on the wall. 438 00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:38,209 They're gonna ring it at the end of the ceremony. 439 00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:39,878 It says it in the program. 440 00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,604 Okay, okay. We'll do it. Calm down. 441 00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:44,123 We'll put it back real quick and pretend this never happened, 442 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,775 and we get out of here before they, uh, 443 00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,460 dust it for fingerprints. Right? 444 00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:49,370 You didn't wipe yours off? It was the first thing I did. 445 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,039 Ladies, gentlemen, sailors, the ceremony's 446 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,299 about to start shortly, 447 00:14:53,451 --> 00:14:54,951 so please begin to take your seats. 448 00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:57,061 If you have to hit the head, now's the time. 449 00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:59,956 "The head" is what the navy calls the bathroom. 450 00:14:59,974 --> 00:15:01,065 Isn't that fun? 451 00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:02,233 Well, now everyone's going to the bathroom 452 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,401 right next to where the bell was. 453 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,219 -Yeah, that's not helpful. -Oh, boy. 454 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,979 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. We got to do something. 455 00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:08,648 Teddy, it's gonna be okay. 456 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,467 Uh, time for operation "Put the Bell We Got for Teddy 457 00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,469 -Back on the Wall." -Damn it, I hate this situation, 458 00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,413 -but I love that name. -It's fine. 459 00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,068 All right, Mom. How are we gonna unring this bell? 460 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,420 We're just gonna, uh, wait here 461 00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:24,071 till that bathroom line goes down, 462 00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:25,572 -then we'll put it back. -OFFICER: Will the sailors 463 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,667 from the maiden voyage and their guests 464 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,093 please fill in the front row. 465 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,762 -Oh, boy. -Uh-oh. 466 00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,096 Double-Dip, come on! 467 00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:33,580 Uh, I'll be right there! 468 00:15:33,675 --> 00:15:35,099 Eh, we got to go sit down. 469 00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:36,509 Okay, okay. Uh, we'll go sit down. 470 00:15:36,678 --> 00:15:39,086 And then we'll sneak away in a minute. Act natural. 471 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,163 -(bell clangs quietly) -Oh, boy. 472 00:15:40,181 --> 00:15:42,848 Maybe walk less clang-y? 473 00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,850 Uh, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. 474 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,094 And maybe don't shout "Oh, God" quite so loud? 475 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,763 -(whispers): Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God. -Better. 476 00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:50,782 (Bob whimpers) 477 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,341 Uh, I'm gonna need that rope back. 478 00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:53,767 I really want to get to the ceremony. 479 00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:55,861 Can I borrow it for a little longer? 480 00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,030 You really want to tie that bowline, huh? 481 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,273 Yes, I really do. 482 00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:00,792 I like that dedication, sailor. 483 00:16:01,019 --> 00:16:02,518 You can use the rope a little longer. 484 00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:04,036 -Thanks. -Don't worry, Dad, you'll get it. 485 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,022 (whispers): I'm starting to get really worried about Dad. 486 00:16:06,191 --> 00:16:08,115 (whispers): Yeah, is something wrong with him? 487 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,616 Um, I can hear you guys. 488 00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:11,210 I-I'm fine. I-I think. 489 00:16:11,362 --> 00:16:12,453 -Mm-hmm. Totally. -Uh, yeah, of course you're fine. 490 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,364 -(whispers): He's not fine. -Mm-mm. 491 00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,366 A little announcement before we begin. 492 00:16:17,385 --> 00:16:20,219 I've been told that more crab cakes are being microwaved, 493 00:16:20,371 --> 00:16:23,372 so those of you who haven't got any yet, 494 00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:25,208 -just hang tight. -I'm sorry. No one said anything 495 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,726 -about a limit. -OFFICER: Today, 496 00:16:26,878 --> 00:16:31,380 we give the USS Gertrude Stein the send-off she deserves. 497 00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:33,049 The chaplain will read a few words, 498 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:36,052 and then the deck bell will ring one final time. 499 00:16:36,054 --> 00:16:37,495 But first, we're gonna kick things off 500 00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:40,981 with everyone's favorite navy rock and roll trumpet band. 501 00:16:41,075 --> 00:16:43,501 Take it away, Brass Kissers! 502 00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:45,652 (playing "Barracuda") 503 00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:48,397 (whispering): Okay, it looks like the bathroom line 504 00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:49,565 has thinned out. I think now's our chance. 505 00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:51,250 (whispering): We fly in fast and low. 506 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,327 Stay under their radar. Get in, get out. 507 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,162 (whispering): I don't know how I'm gonna reattach 508 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,514 the bell without any tools. 509 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,182 You're overthinking it. You're overthinking it. 510 00:16:58,334 --> 00:16:59,559 (whispering): Hey, what are you guys talking about? 511 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,002 -Nothing. Enjoy the music. -I'm trying to, 512 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,187 but there's a lot of whispering. 513 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,914 Shush, shush, shush. Play with your rope. 514 00:17:05,007 --> 00:17:06,524 Teddy, Louise and I all have to go to the bathroom 515 00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:08,526 -at the same time. Come on. -I want to go to the bathroom. 516 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,010 -No. You stay. -Okay. 517 00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:12,255 I didn't actually have to go. It just sounds fun. 518 00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:13,439 (whispering): I kind of have to go. 519 00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:14,866 -Hold it. -Okay. 520 00:17:15,017 --> 00:17:17,243 (music continues) 521 00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:20,854 Hey. You went to the bathroom. That's cool. 522 00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:23,449 -Nice. -Teddy, you get the bell back on the wall, 523 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:26,269 and Louise and I will make sure nobody comes this way. 524 00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:27,603 Hi. 525 00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:30,940 Oh, it's you guys. Um, excuse me? I need to get by. 526 00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:33,292 -What's the rush? Enjoy the view. -Right. 527 00:17:33,444 --> 00:17:35,553 Okay, I need to hit the head, so move? 528 00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:37,613 Whoa, whoa, whoa, but, like, you could hold it 529 00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:38,631 if you wanted to, right? 530 00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,207 I assume the military trained you 531 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,893 to hold it during a combat mission. 532 00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:43,877 Actually, we're trained to just let 'er rip. 533 00:17:43,971 --> 00:17:45,288 Clean things up later. 534 00:17:45,306 --> 00:17:47,214 -Now, please, move it. -Oh, no. 535 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,757 -MAN: Hey. -Eh, you're not done yet. 536 00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:50,568 -MAN: Am, too. -All right, what the heck's going on? 537 00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:52,795 -(Teddy grunting) -And what the heck is he doing? 538 00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,906 You're stealing the deck bell?! 539 00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,909 -Oh, God. -Okay, maybe I wasn't done, done, 540 00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:59,802 but still, not cool. 541 00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:01,821 I swear I wasn't stealing the bell. 542 00:18:01,973 --> 00:18:05,491 -He was. I caught him. -(singsongy): Embarrassing. 543 00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:07,643 Will someone please explain to me what's going on here? 544 00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:10,421 I need to know if I'm filling out a report or not. 545 00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:13,091 Teddy didn't take the bell. I did. 546 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,533 -Linda? -(gasps) Mother. 547 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,669 Oh, that's why I wasn't part of the pee-pee club. 548 00:18:16,821 --> 00:18:18,838 (sighs) I dodged a bullet. But I still have to go. 549 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,082 -Teddy was just putting it back. -I had nothing to do with this. 550 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,326 I'm just a little girl. 551 00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:24,827 I knew I shouldn't have come today. 552 00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:27,680 But it was all, if I don't go, Tony and those jerks win. 553 00:18:27,832 --> 00:18:30,683 -Wait, what do you mean, "jerks"? -Yeah, ouch. 554 00:18:30,835 --> 00:18:31,943 You guys never stopped teasing me 555 00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,169 after I fell off the ship. 556 00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:35,020 Then you came up with Double-Dip. 557 00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:36,339 Double-Dip? What? 558 00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:38,023 I mean, because you fell off. Twice. 559 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,617 Oh, then that is a solid nickname. 560 00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:41,435 (chuckles): What, we're not supposed to tease you? 561 00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,180 It's what sailors do. It's what friends do. 562 00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:45,456 You think we're friends? 563 00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:47,350 Sure, we are. But, Teddy, you stand here, 564 00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,034 and you tell us how you fell off the ship, 565 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,444 and then you fall off the ship. 566 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,130 I mean, how does that even happ... (screams) 567 00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:55,115 -(splash) -Oh, my God! Should you jingle the clingy clangy? 568 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,135 The-the jingle bellies? Jingle the thingy. 569 00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:59,786 -Oh, right. -(clanging) 570 00:18:59,955 --> 00:19:03,123 -Little more slack over here, Billy! Let it out! -Copy that! 571 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,217 Tony, keep that strap above your chest! 572 00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:07,478 Otherwise, your nipples are liable to chafe! 573 00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:08,813 Trust me on that one! 574 00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:10,464 Raul, how're we doing with your line? 575 00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:11,965 My hands are greasy from the hors d'oeuvres. 576 00:19:12,043 --> 00:19:13,709 I can't get a grip. Schmitty lookalike, 577 00:19:13,728 --> 00:19:16,970 -tie this off for me, will you? -Oh, um, I-I-I don't... 578 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,823 -I don't know... -Come on, Dad. You can do it. 579 00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:20,324 -Maybe. -We believe in you. 580 00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:22,735 -Stick the knots landing. -TEDDY: It's okay, Bob. 581 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,144 I'll come over. 582 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,146 No, I can... I can do this. 583 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,557 The rabbit comes up from his hole, 584 00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,409 runs around the tree, 585 00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:33,504 then goes back into his hole and... 586 00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:35,356 (gasps) I did it! 587 00:19:35,433 --> 00:19:38,176 I did it! Knot teacher guy, look! I did it! 588 00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:40,994 -Well, I'll be. -I totally get the tree part now. 589 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,015 -He can do the easiest knot. -And the rabbit. Take that, Schmitty. 590 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,257 Geez, I guess I was wrong. 591 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,077 It is, uh, kind of easy to fall off this ship. 592 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,429 So, you guys teased me because we were friends? 593 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,932 What? Of course. We served together. 594 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,250 We're bonded for life. 595 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:55,717 I mean, we were all kids then, Teddy. 596 00:19:55,719 --> 00:19:58,421 And you were a little older. We-we looked up to you. 597 00:19:58,439 --> 00:20:00,439 And I was scared out of my mind about serving, 598 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,091 but then you showed me you could make a mistake 599 00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,609 and still be a great sailor. 600 00:20:03,761 --> 00:20:05,203 Gave me a lot of confidence. 601 00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,780 -Wow. I had no idea. -SAILOR: Hey, Double-Dip. 602 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,540 I got something for you. 603 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:12,435 -The bell? Really? -SAILOR: Yeah. 604 00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:13,860 It'll remind you of the good old days 605 00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:15,120 and also today 606 00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,881 when you fished out Mr. Slips Ahoy. 607 00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:19,275 -(laughter) -Mr. Slips Ahoy over here. -That's pretty good. 608 00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,368 Let's just pretend you sent a request letter 609 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,446 and it has all the right signatures on it. 610 00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,038 But maybe put it down your pants 611 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:26,224 till you get off the ship, please. 612 00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:28,375 -Can I hide it in my jacket? -No. Pants. 613 00:20:28,469 --> 00:20:29,952 Yeah, pants is better. Put it in your pants. 614 00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:32,212 -Come on. -Okay, I'll try. Thank you. 615 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,714 Aw, Teddy got the bell. 616 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,716 -All because of me. -I mean... 617 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,217 Thank you for your service, Mom. 618 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,477 If I fall off the ship, 619 00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,238 do you think that lady will give me a torpedo? 620 00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:42,314 Hey, maybe you should reach out to your old friends, too, Mom. 621 00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,741 And then you can make up and wear matching jackets. 622 00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:46,635 I would, sweetie, but I TP'd Debbie Bernardini's house 623 00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,637 after they started calling me Death by Chocolate. 624 00:20:48,656 --> 00:20:50,489 And I peed on her bike. But I shouldn't have. 625 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,899 Kids, do the Teddy thing, not the Mama thing. 626 00:20:53,035 --> 00:20:54,493 Oh, and I called them at 2:00 in the morning 627 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,420 every night for a year and pretended I was a killer. 628 00:20:56,572 --> 00:20:57,571 Geez, Linda. 629 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,257 LINDA: That's what friends do? 630 00:20:59,408 --> 00:21:02,576 -♪ Double-Dip, Double-Dip ♪ -♪ ♪ 631 00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:06,246 ♪ One false step, and I fell right off the ship ♪ 632 00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,674 ♪ Double-Dip, Double-Dip ♪ 633 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,678 ♪ Turns out it's pretty easy to make a second trip ♪ 634 00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:14,346 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 635 00:21:14,499 --> 00:21:15,848 ♪ Look who went and soaked their drawers ♪ 636 00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:17,424 ♪ Five, six, seven, eight ♪ 637 00:21:17,518 --> 00:21:19,426 ♪ Got rescued, but my nipples chafed ♪ 638 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,280 ♪ Double-Dip, that's right, Double-Dip ♪ 639 00:21:22,507 --> 00:21:23,948 -♪ No one else to blame ♪ -♪ Double, Double-Dip ♪ 640 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,025 ♪ Took me two falls in to get that name ♪ 641 00:21:26,177 --> 00:21:29,287 ♪ Double-Dip, that's me, Double-Dip ♪ 642 00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:30,771 ♪ When you're in trouble, on the double ♪ 643 00:21:30,865 --> 00:21:32,290 ♪ Call the Double-Dip. ♪ 644 00:21:32,366 --> 00:21:33,457 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 645 00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,709 and TOYOTA.