1 00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,753 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:21,687 LOUISE: (groans) School again. 3 00:00:21,872 --> 00:00:24,506 Punching in for another day of unpaid child labor 4 00:00:24,674 --> 00:00:27,509 before we go home and do more unpaid child labor. 5 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,844 I know, right? Multiply this, spell that, 6 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,922 build a pipe cleaner model of that other thing. 7 00:00:32,015 --> 00:00:33,681 Oh, darn, I forgot to do that last night. 8 00:00:33,776 --> 00:00:35,759 Where's Amnesty International when you need 'em? 9 00:00:35,761 --> 00:00:37,944 I mean, probably somewhere important. They're great. 10 00:00:38,097 --> 00:00:40,706 Teachers keep dishing it out and we keep taking it. 11 00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:42,524 Fresh baked brownie? Blondie? 12 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:46,103 Mmm. I was just handed a baked good for some reason, but yeah. 13 00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:47,454 Hi, Tina! (sniffs) New shampoo? 14 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,456 No, we had one squeeze of shampoo left, 15 00:00:49,608 --> 00:00:51,050 and we've been adding water to it for a while. 16 00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:54,294 Hey, about my pipe cleaner project, I kind of didn't do it. 17 00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:55,796 -Don't worry about it. -Okay. 18 00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:58,282 Thanks for holding the button, Mr. De Santo. 19 00:00:58,284 --> 00:00:59,950 Do I tip you or... 20 00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:00,967 Looking good, Rudy. 21 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,043 Good at what? 22 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,620 What is h-happening? 23 00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:05,455 Are we at the right school? 24 00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:06,973 Hi, Louise! 25 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:10,460 Whoa. That's a lot of "hi," Ms. LaBonz. You okay? 26 00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:12,237 I'm fine. 27 00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:13,221 How are you? 28 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,981 Confused. Thank you. 29 00:01:15,134 --> 00:01:17,076 Decaf coffee, please, Linda. 30 00:01:17,227 --> 00:01:18,243 Better make it a double. 31 00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:19,561 Something the matter, Mort? 32 00:01:19,655 --> 00:01:21,638 Eh, there was a big brouhaha at the mortuary. 33 00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:23,565 A guy died without a will and at the funeral 34 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,325 a big fight broke out over who gets 35 00:01:25,477 --> 00:01:27,086 his autographed picture of Patrick Swayze. 36 00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:29,421 You might say they were going crazy for Swayze. 37 00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:32,165 Oh, no, that's terrible to die without a will. 38 00:01:32,318 --> 00:01:33,834 It's not even that great to die with one. 39 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,094 Right. Yeah. Right. 40 00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,486 Glad I've got my affairs in order. 41 00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:37,763 Bob, do you want to know what I'm leaving you? 42 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,823 Um, can I just be surprised on the day? 43 00:01:39,842 --> 00:01:42,750 -It's not Christmas, Bob. Geez. -Okay, fine, tell me. 44 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,494 -Please don't say the arrowheads. -My collection of arrowheads. 45 00:01:44,513 --> 00:01:47,848 Yeah. Um, even though they're just kind of rocks? 46 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,942 Most of them aren't even triangular. 47 00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,259 They could be arrowheads. 48 00:01:51,353 --> 00:01:52,836 -Anyway, it's ten boxes. -Mm. 49 00:01:52,929 --> 00:01:55,188 I've been planning my funeral ever since I was a kid, 50 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:59,025 arranging grieving Playmobil figures on the floor in rows. 51 00:01:59,178 --> 00:02:00,360 Aw, fun li'l Mort. 52 00:02:00,512 --> 00:02:02,454 So what about you guys-- got all your I's dotted? 53 00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:04,681 -Uh, yeah, pretty dotted. -Uh, s-sure, we've loosely... 54 00:02:04,774 --> 00:02:07,275 Oh, we don't have a will or any of that dying stuff. 55 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,685 -What? -But we're gonna. 56 00:02:08,704 --> 00:02:10,445 We've just been too busy. 57 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,538 Or tired. 58 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,780 All the time, tired. 59 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,207 But you haven't done anything? 60 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,693 Not even the basics, like deciding what I get? 61 00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:17,527 Mm, not a basic? 62 00:02:17,696 --> 00:02:19,171 Ten boxes of arrowheads, Bob. 63 00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:20,288 Could go to Mort. 64 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,807 -I like rocks. -Never mind. 65 00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:22,716 Forget it. 66 00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:24,201 So, pop quiz. 67 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,813 But relax, everyone. The answer to every question is five. 68 00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:30,465 Just fill it out fast. Five, five, five, five, five. 69 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,985 Uh, why is there no place to put our names? 70 00:02:33,136 --> 00:02:34,544 Because it's anonymous. 71 00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:36,488 -Why would it be anonymous? -Work with me, Rudy. 72 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,898 Five, five, five, five 73 00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,566 -and you get an A. -Hold on, 74 00:02:39,643 --> 00:02:41,885 -this isn't a quiz. This is... -FROND: Good morning, students. 75 00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:45,555 By now, you will have been given your teacher evaluation forms. 76 00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:48,816 -Eh, poop. -Which you will use to review your teachers. 77 00:02:48,911 --> 00:02:52,487 It's a new process I'm calling Eval-You-Great. 78 00:02:52,581 --> 00:02:53,839 As I explained to Principal Spoors, 79 00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,233 everyone needs feedback to improve. 80 00:02:56,251 --> 00:02:58,343 Except principals. And guidance counselors. 81 00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:01,405 Ten questions and a comment section. Sweet mama. 82 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,182 The evaluations are due back to me 83 00:03:03,409 --> 00:03:04,925 before the end of the day. 84 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,427 And to make things fun, teachers with the best scores 85 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,189 will be assigned reserved parking in the main lot, 86 00:03:10,416 --> 00:03:11,673 right next to the school. 87 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,933 Mmm, the main lot. 88 00:03:13,101 --> 00:03:15,919 And, remember, students, these things are anonymous, 89 00:03:15,938 --> 00:03:17,178 so go nuts. 90 00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:19,256 Well done, Phillip. Great announcement. 91 00:03:19,425 --> 00:03:21,700 -Wait, how do I turn this off? It's this one, right? -(click) 92 00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:24,611 Time for Mr. Frond to hit the john. It's pee-pee o'clock. 93 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,613 -Oh, press that button. Darn it! -(click) 94 00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:30,209 Wow. Ms. LaBonz, the kind of evaluation I could write. 95 00:03:30,436 --> 00:03:31,768 I mean, you and I have some history. 96 00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:35,363 I'm a delightful rascal and you're a... bit punish-y? 97 00:03:35,457 --> 00:03:36,531 Louise, stop. 98 00:03:36,608 --> 00:03:37,774 -No! -Bad. 99 00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,125 -Awful! -Principal's... 100 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,627 -...office... -...now! 101 00:03:40,779 --> 00:03:42,462 We have fun. (chuckles) 102 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:45,373 There's also the recent totally unfair grade you gave me 103 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,634 on my animal habitat diorama. 104 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,652 It was rock-solid B-minus work, 105 00:03:49,654 --> 00:03:50,896 and you gave it a C. 106 00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:54,066 Your diorama was a cotton ball in a white shoebox. 107 00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:55,976 It's a polar bear in the snow. 108 00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:57,385 Simple but powerful. 109 00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:59,479 And you called it "slapped-together," I believe? 110 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,906 I can be blunt. 111 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,967 On my last report card, you said, "Don't quit your day job." 112 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:05,469 This is my day job. 113 00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:07,228 You call us "this one" and "that one." 114 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,563 And sometimes you call us "The Shining," 115 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,474 -and I don't get the reference. -(groans) 116 00:04:10,492 --> 00:04:12,400 I prayed this day would never come. 117 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,811 JOCELYN: So, we get to grade you? 118 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,647 I don't know if I can do that, because I'm not very judgy. 119 00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:19,424 Oh, wait, I am. (laughs) 120 00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:21,426 I'm great at these. I wrote an online review 121 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,263 that got a barista fired for spelling my name with an I. 122 00:04:24,414 --> 00:04:26,265 Uh, I don't think so. 123 00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:28,174 "Does your teacher explain new concepts 124 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,751 in a way you understand?" 125 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,771 Uh, Ms. Jacobson, could you explain math again to me 126 00:04:32,998 --> 00:04:33,772 and I'll see if I get it? 127 00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:35,607 Yes. Okay. 128 00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,109 You guys like me, right? 129 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,185 So let's get it on the page, huh? 130 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,854 So I can park in a reserved space 131 00:04:41,006 --> 00:04:42,656 and get to the teachers' lounge while the coffee's still hot. 132 00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:44,174 Or at least warm-ish. 133 00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:46,618 So you need an evaluation that's catchy and blurb-worthy. 134 00:04:46,695 --> 00:04:48,345 Got it. "Ms. Twitchell's so good 135 00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:50,271 she makes learning almost worth it." 136 00:04:50,365 --> 00:04:51,681 Yes, that's great. Write that. 137 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,533 So, let's go over this again. 138 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,368 The school is here, and I park 139 00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:58,112 in the unpaved overflow lot way over here. 140 00:04:58,132 --> 00:04:59,447 And I have to hike in 141 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,633 like I'm freaking Reese Witherspoon in that movie. 142 00:05:01,785 --> 00:05:02,467 It's far. 143 00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:04,803 So, please, be generous. 144 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,696 Ms. LaBonz, can I get a bathroom pass? 145 00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:10,033 Mr. De Santo gave me a hit of his hazelnut blend this morning 146 00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:11,310 and things are happening. 147 00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:12,978 How uncomfortable for you, Rudy. 148 00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:14,538 Of course you can. 149 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,648 -Really? -Usually you tell him to bite on an eraser 150 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,150 and tough it out till recess. 151 00:05:18,377 --> 00:05:20,485 That doesn't sound like me at all. 152 00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:21,653 Well, now you sound... 153 00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,214 I think "friendly" is what you're going for? 154 00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,641 But why don't you zip through the evaluation first 155 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,143 so it's off your plate and then you can poop in peace. 156 00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:30,311 -That seems fair. -LOUISE: Wait. 157 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:31,888 Rudy, put your pencil down. 158 00:05:31,907 --> 00:05:34,499 The second we turn these in, the teachers stop being nice. 159 00:05:34,651 --> 00:05:37,002 But Frond said they're not due till the end of the day. 160 00:05:37,153 --> 00:05:38,728 Right now, we hold the cards. 161 00:05:38,747 --> 00:05:40,263 Today we do what we want. 162 00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,731 Movies instead of math. 163 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,658 We confiscate the teachers' gum. 164 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,752 And Rudy poops as he pleases! 165 00:05:45,904 --> 00:05:47,571 -I like that. -Louise... 166 00:05:47,589 --> 00:05:49,756 Today we say, "Jump" and the teachers say, "How high?" 167 00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:52,184 But they can't jump very high 'cause they're middle-aged 168 00:05:52,411 --> 00:05:54,686 but they still have to say "How high?" 169 00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:56,246 Get down this minute, Louise! 170 00:05:56,264 --> 00:05:58,172 I mean, good for you, 171 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,174 climbing up there, using the desk that way. 172 00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,101 (chuckles nervously) 173 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,028 Today we celebrate 174 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,530 -our independence day! -Oh, boy. 175 00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:11,185 Spread the word. Hang on to these evaluations 176 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,204 till the end of the day. 177 00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:14,355 We're maximizing power here. 178 00:06:14,449 --> 00:06:15,540 I get it. Leverage. 179 00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,267 Like how my stepmom wouldn't marry my dad 180 00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:18,602 until he learned how to control his crazy son. 181 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:20,620 Now Cheryl and I are tighter than a turtleneck. 182 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,882 I think every class today is gonna be dance. 183 00:06:24,109 --> 00:06:25,625 -Twirl it, baby! -Hey, Coach Blevins, 184 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,052 what are we doing in P.E. today? 185 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:29,112 Uh, we were gonna run laps today... 186 00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:30,797 -Bup, bup, bup. -But now I'm thinking some light stretching 187 00:06:30,949 --> 00:06:32,224 and relaxing on the wrestling mats. 188 00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:33,950 Sounds good, Coach. See you there. 189 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:34,951 If I feel like it. 190 00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:36,711 This is ridiculous. 191 00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:39,046 Respectable teachers shouldn't be groveling for good scores 192 00:06:39,141 --> 00:06:40,882 by letting students run riot. 193 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,067 This is all your fault, 194 00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:44,886 and one day there will be a reckoning. 195 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,053 Ms. LaBonz! 196 00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:47,814 You won't see me coming. 197 00:06:47,966 --> 00:06:49,390 I don't know, Louise. It feels like 198 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:50,984 we're kind of taking advantage of the system? 199 00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:52,260 Yeah. Isn't it great? 200 00:06:52,262 --> 00:06:53,561 I thought the whole point is to give 201 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,229 constructive feedback to help teachers improve. 202 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,748 Like, sometimes Ms. Jacobson doesn't erase 203 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,491 the chalkboard that well and I can see what was on there 204 00:06:58,644 --> 00:07:00,477 the day before and it's like being in two moments of time 205 00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:01,736 at once and it hurts my head. 206 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,255 No, Tina, the point is, today, 207 00:07:03,482 --> 00:07:05,740 we're eating the teachers' lunch. Literally. 208 00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:08,093 Unless their lunch is sad, like a smushed sandwich or something. 209 00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,761 Actually, I'd still eat it. 210 00:07:09,988 --> 00:07:11,004 I don't know, Bob. 211 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,264 Maybe we should finally do 212 00:07:12,491 --> 00:07:13,823 some of this end-of-life stuff planning. 213 00:07:13,842 --> 00:07:17,269 Or put it off until death is cured? 214 00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:19,271 Come on, let me help. This is what I do. 215 00:07:19,498 --> 00:07:21,589 We'll just write things down on the back of a napkin. 216 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,942 You can get a cheap lawyer to make it all pretty later. 217 00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,277 Okay, it's slow right now. 218 00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:26,611 Maybe it'll be fun. I doubt it. 219 00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:30,282 All right! ♪ Makin' plans for bein' dead! ♪ 220 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,175 Let's dive in with the distribution of assets-- 221 00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:34,844 who gets what. And we don't have to get through it all today. 222 00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:35,845 We can chip away at it. 223 00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:36,938 We're just chipping away. 224 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,123 Well, that didn't take long. 225 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:39,440 God, we're poor. 226 00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:41,293 At least we didn't use up too many napkins. 227 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,610 What am I getting again, Mort? 228 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,371 "For Teddy, any food left in fridge." 229 00:07:45,524 --> 00:07:47,357 Aw, guys. This means a lot. 230 00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:48,967 Let's move on to the next part, 231 00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:50,860 final disposition of remains. 232 00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:53,138 -The what of what? -You want to be buried or cremated? 233 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,864 -Oh, that's easy. -Yeah. 234 00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:56,141 -Cremated. -Buried. -Wait, what? 235 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,125 -Burn, baby, burn. -Burial? -Uh-oh. 236 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,385 But I-I thought we'd want to be, 237 00:07:59,538 --> 00:08:02,055 you know, together someplace forever. 238 00:08:02,207 --> 00:08:03,482 But buried? Underground? 239 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,850 Bob, I don't even like two blankets on the bed. 240 00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,210 But cremation? 241 00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:09,212 So you can fit in a cup? 242 00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:10,897 A big cup. A nice cup. 243 00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:12,382 -What's it called, Mort? -Urn. 244 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,216 -No. -Yes. 245 00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:14,159 -Urn. -It's "urn." 246 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,401 I'll think of it. 247 00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:17,070 I'll get you some brochures on both options. 248 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,056 You can discuss. And, remember, this isn't life or death. 249 00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:21,224 It's just death. 250 00:08:21,226 --> 00:08:23,317 -Eh. -Jar? Bucket? 251 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,336 Body bucket? 252 00:08:24,563 --> 00:08:25,245 ♪ ♪ 253 00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:27,005 Our top story, kids rule... 254 00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:28,656 And teachers drool. 255 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,899 Oh, my gosh, that rhymes. 256 00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:31,751 Yes, it's Teacher Evaluation Day. 257 00:08:31,828 --> 00:08:34,921 We're here with our TV journalism teacher, Mr. Grant. 258 00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,406 Gangbusters intro, girls. 259 00:08:36,575 --> 00:08:37,590 What's an intro? 260 00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:38,742 So, where do you park? 261 00:08:38,835 --> 00:08:40,167 -The overflow lot. -Sad. 262 00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:42,336 -Would you like to park in the good lot? -God, yes. 263 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,248 Mm. Then tell us what you think of our ideas for news segments. 264 00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:47,174 -"Why school is dumb." -Love it. 265 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,102 -"What is ice, really?" -Newsy. 266 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,511 "What's up with my parents?" 267 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,088 All amazing ideas. 268 00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:53,198 Yeah, we know. 269 00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:54,440 ♪ ♪ 270 00:08:54,593 --> 00:08:55,759 ♪ Kids rule ♪ 271 00:08:55,777 --> 00:08:58,036 ♪ And teachers drool ♪ 272 00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,280 ♪ Kids rule ♪ 273 00:09:00,432 --> 00:09:02,615 ♪ And teachers drool. ♪ 274 00:09:02,768 --> 00:09:06,002 ♪ ♪ 275 00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:11,699 LOUISE: Still not 276 00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,777 -satisfied. -Yeah, I like our rebellious spirit, 277 00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:16,221 but it's harder to eat lunch sitting on the table. 278 00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,781 It's like I need another table up here. 279 00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:20,875 No. I'm still annoyed by the C Ms. LaBonz gave me 280 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,376 on my polar bear project. 281 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:24,637 Oh, you're still upset about your shoebox diorama grade? 282 00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,881 Didn't you spend, like, literally one minute on that? 283 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,625 When I saw it, it still had shoes in it. 284 00:09:28,643 --> 00:09:30,402 It went over some people's heads, okay? 285 00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:32,386 But the real reason LaBonz gave me a C 286 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,147 is because she has it out for me. 287 00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,574 Maybe she just hates cotton balls? 288 00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:36,800 I mean, I think they're nice. 289 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,726 Ugh, Tina, don't defend teachers. 290 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:39,969 They're teachers. 291 00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:41,062 Well, they're also people. 292 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,138 They have names and everything. 293 00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,081 I mean, last names. 294 00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:44,157 They might have first names, 295 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,642 but no one knows what they are. 296 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:46,585 Here, Lin, look. 297 00:09:46,812 --> 00:09:49,570 A nice grassy double plot on a hill. 298 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,591 Under an oak tree. It's like a pretty picnic spot. 299 00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:55,168 It's just us, having a forever picnic. 300 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,262 Yeah, Bob, here's my problem: worms. 301 00:09:57,489 --> 00:09:58,822 They're the ones having the picnic. 302 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,824 Also, I'm a deep sleeper. What if I'm not even dead 303 00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:03,843 and nobody poked me to make sure before they stuck me down there? 304 00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:05,345 They probably have a poker. 305 00:10:05,497 --> 00:10:07,272 Also, cemeteries can be haunted. 306 00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:09,441 Or, worse, we end up with a bunch of goth punks 307 00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:11,759 hanging out on Halloween, sitting on our tombstones, 308 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,594 smoking cigarettes and making out. 309 00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:16,856 Okay, but our kids would have, you know, someplace to visit. 310 00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:18,432 Yeah, but you got to bring flowers, 311 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,343 you got to keep your voice down, you got to dress up. 312 00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:21,953 -Does that sound like our kids? -Well... 313 00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:24,681 Plus, Gene, just standing there, looking at our tombstone? 314 00:10:24,699 --> 00:10:26,032 You know he hates to read. 315 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:27,459 I'd drop by. Probably. 316 00:10:27,686 --> 00:10:28,852 How steep is the hill? 317 00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:30,036 But look at this. 318 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,963 Ash scattering at sea. 319 00:10:32,115 --> 00:10:33,539 Ooh, or by airplane. 320 00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,950 It's like skywriting, only instead of smoke, it's you. 321 00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:38,878 Ashes floating around the world, being free, 322 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,788 landing on an expensive car. 323 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,031 Maybe a DeLorean. 324 00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:43,216 We can finally travel. 325 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,218 Wow! Fancy. And I knew you when. 326 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:49,055 So if the kids want to visit us, they can just go... everywhere? 327 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,465 Fine. The kids can scatter us someplace they like. 328 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,377 The couch. And we can put in the will no farting on the couch. 329 00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:56,321 Well, that's not gonna happen. So, burial. 330 00:10:56,472 --> 00:10:58,823 No. Cremation, then landing on the DeLorean. 331 00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:01,142 Bob, know when you've lost an argument. 332 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,310 Finally the end of the day, huh? 333 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,829 I hope you were generous. 334 00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:06,072 Hey... 335 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,982 Andy and Ollie. 336 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,000 God, I hope I got that right. 337 00:11:09,227 --> 00:11:10,192 Were you nice? 338 00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:11,503 -We were nice. -Twice. 339 00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,912 Okay, bye-bye. Go home. 340 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,507 All right, Louise. (singsongy): It's time. 341 00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:16,916 You played ball, Ms. LaBonz. 342 00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:18,176 I guess I should go easy on you. 343 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,069 And it's appreciated, Louise. 344 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:23,348 I mean, I am a little hurt over the diorama grade. 345 00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:26,242 That just felt, wow, like it got personal. 346 00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:28,669 -Here we go. -So why don't we pop open your grade book 347 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,915 and you just bump that baby up a notch to a B-minus 348 00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:33,099 and everybody wins. 349 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,251 I'm not changing that grade, Louise. 350 00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:36,194 If it had been another kid, 351 00:11:36,345 --> 00:11:37,437 maybe it would have been a B-minus. 352 00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:39,439 -But it was you, so... -You admit it. 353 00:11:39,591 --> 00:11:40,273 You admit it! 354 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,942 Oh, now it's evaluating time. 355 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,277 Wait, let me finish. 356 00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:45,945 You know how you don't really try? 357 00:11:46,097 --> 00:11:47,263 Not helping yourself. 358 00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:48,689 And you sort of phone everything in? 359 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,601 LaBonz, the more you talk, the angrier my pencil gets. 360 00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:53,119 -But I was just... -Deh, deh, deh. Silence. 361 00:11:53,271 --> 00:11:55,121 When you're in a hole, stop digging. 362 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,106 Ratings: all ones. 363 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,775 And now the comments. 364 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:01,110 Looks like you're commenting a lot. 365 00:12:01,129 --> 00:12:03,037 Mm-hmm. Gonna need extra paper. 366 00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:04,614 That's probably not good. 367 00:12:04,616 --> 00:12:05,372 It's not. 368 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,966 Is "Antichrist" hyphenated? 369 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,560 (groans) No, it's one word. 370 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,232 Mr. Frond, wait up. I got my Ms. LaBonz evaluation. 371 00:12:14,309 --> 00:12:15,641 I wanted to hand it to you personally. 372 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,794 -Here's a preview. (blows raspberry) -Great. 373 00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,054 I'm putting them all in this zipped messenger bag 374 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,388 which never leaves my side. 375 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,149 I got the idea from how they guard the envelopes 376 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,634 at the Academy Awards. 377 00:12:24,652 --> 00:12:26,727 -Pretty glamorous, huh? -Perfect. Sounds secure. 378 00:12:26,821 --> 00:12:29,414 I've even tied a piece of yarn from my wrist to the handle 379 00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:31,808 so I don't set it down and leave it somewhere. 380 00:12:31,826 --> 00:12:32,900 Smart. Enough. 381 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,477 For you. Now what happens? 382 00:12:34,496 --> 00:12:36,813 In a few minutes, I'll sit down with each teacher one-on-one 383 00:12:36,831 --> 00:12:38,331 to go over the evaluations together. 384 00:12:38,483 --> 00:12:40,333 And, of course, I'll provide compassionate counseling 385 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,001 for the duds that get reamed. 386 00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:43,836 (chuckles) Someone's gonna need it. 387 00:12:43,989 --> 00:12:45,746 Okay. Whoa. See? It works. 388 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,491 Well, in the end, I just gave Ms. Jacobson all fives 389 00:12:48,493 --> 00:12:51,252 and I realized that it's not her fault the erasers are bad. 390 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,178 That's a budget issue. 391 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:53,587 I was pretty nice, too. 392 00:12:53,681 --> 00:12:55,515 I wrote, "Twitchell-- you'll want to flunk sixth grade 393 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,275 on purpose just to see her again." 394 00:12:57,502 --> 00:12:58,777 And I'm almost there. 395 00:12:58,928 --> 00:13:01,262 Well, LaBonz messed with the bull, so she got the horns. 396 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,006 I even made a copy of it to put on my wall. 397 00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:05,933 Hope it doesn't catch on fire and burn down the whole house, 398 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,285 'cause it's scorching. 399 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,179 Wow, sounds like you went, I want to say, way too far? 400 00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:12,031 What? No, Tina, I punched up. 401 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,607 I'm a tiny schoolchild, 402 00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,869 and Ms. LaBonz is a rich and powerful fourth grade teacher. 403 00:13:17,022 --> 00:13:18,129 Um, grade school teachers 404 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,298 probably aren't that rich and powerful. 405 00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:22,133 Well, Mr. De Santo has a pleather jacket. 406 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,802 -Those aren't cheap. -Also, 407 00:13:23,953 --> 00:13:26,546 I wonder what it'll be like for Ms. LaBonz when she reads it. 408 00:13:26,698 --> 00:13:28,531 She'll probably just raise her fist and say, 409 00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:30,550 "You've bested me this time, Louise!" 410 00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:32,552 I don't know. Why don't you pretend I'm her 411 00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:33,536 and read it to me? 412 00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:34,871 -What? -Just read it. 413 00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:36,706 Wait, hold on. I got to get into character. 414 00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:38,650 (same voice): Am I doing her voice right? Yeah, that's it. 415 00:13:38,801 --> 00:13:41,152 Okay, I'm just gonna give you a few highlights. 416 00:13:41,379 --> 00:13:43,637 "Ms. LaBonz is so burned-out that when she burps, 417 00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:45,657 -she sets off smoke alarms." -Oh. 418 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:48,809 Um... (clears throat) "She taught us about fossils. 419 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:49,977 By being one." 420 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,237 -Wow. -Forg... 421 00:13:51,389 --> 00:13:53,573 You know what, forget that part. Um, um... 422 00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:56,150 "Ms. LaBonz is so boring, if she was a color, 423 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,577 "she'd be off-beige. 424 00:13:57,729 --> 00:13:59,003 "She's huffy and stuffy. 425 00:13:59,155 --> 00:14:00,171 -She's..." -Oh... 426 00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:01,840 (groans) Why isn't this fun?! 427 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,566 I did the right thing. 428 00:14:03,585 --> 00:14:06,085 Okay. Now you be Lady Gaga and I'll be Mom. 429 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,330 It's a conversation I've always been curious about. 430 00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:11,090 Lin, I've been in Mort's crematorium. 431 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,350 It's sad and scary 432 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,094 and kind of the opposite of resting in peace. 433 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,054 Bob, maybe we just agree to disagree 434 00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:18,339 and each do our own thing. 435 00:14:18,433 --> 00:14:20,249 You get your dirt and your trees and your worms. 436 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:21,767 I get the sky and the sea. 437 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,345 Okay, fine, I guess I'll just be alone for eternity. 438 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,255 Or, who knows, maybe someone interesting 439 00:14:26,349 --> 00:14:28,107 will get buried next to me and, you know, 440 00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:30,276 we'll hit it off and hang out. 441 00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:31,277 Both dead. 442 00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:32,762 Are you trying to make me jealous? 443 00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:34,430 He's kind of making me jealous. 444 00:14:34,449 --> 00:14:35,932 I'm just gonna be open to whatever happens. 445 00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:37,600 Hello, Bob, Linda. 446 00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,360 It's the first of the month somewhere. 447 00:14:39,528 --> 00:14:40,603 Ha! Pay me rent. 448 00:14:40,696 --> 00:14:42,196 Oh, hi, Mr. Fischoeder. 449 00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:43,623 Is it the first already? 450 00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:45,274 Yes, somewhere. And here. 451 00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,051 What's this, cemetery brochures? 452 00:14:47,278 --> 00:14:48,277 You're not planning on dying, are you, 453 00:14:48,296 --> 00:14:49,278 to skip out on the rent? 454 00:14:49,297 --> 00:14:50,613 The old die-and-dash? 455 00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:52,223 No, nobody's dying, Mr. Fischoeder. 456 00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,967 -We all die, Bob. -I'll tell you my death plan. I'm getting 457 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,787 a little consortium of fun and flirty dead people together 458 00:14:57,805 --> 00:15:01,457 and our mortal remains will be tossed into and purified by 459 00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,126 an active volcano. 460 00:15:03,144 --> 00:15:04,068 Ooh, which volcano? 461 00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,144 We're still looking around. 462 00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:06,553 It'll be one of the better ones. 463 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,313 Love it. I'm in. 464 00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:08,406 -Oh, my God. -Me, too. 465 00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:10,650 -Where do I sign up? -Ooh, no, 466 00:15:10,802 --> 00:15:11,984 no and no. 467 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:13,578 Oh. Ms. LaBonz, 468 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,472 I thought you'd be headed down to Mr. Frond's office. 469 00:15:16,491 --> 00:15:18,458 I've got to go to my car to get something first, 470 00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,234 and by "something," I don't mean nicotine gum 471 00:15:20,328 --> 00:15:22,812 that I need more than anything else in the world right now. 472 00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:24,997 Well, I'm just getting my diorama to take home. 473 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,499 It's our only cotton ball, so... 474 00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:28,651 By the way, Louise, what I was trying to say before-- 475 00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:31,671 the reason I gave you the crummy grade on the diorama. 476 00:15:31,823 --> 00:15:33,839 -I know. -It's because you're very bright. 477 00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:34,807 Wha-What? 478 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,992 But you don't work hard. 479 00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,251 I need to motivate you. 480 00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,679 I've noticed that anger and vengeance 481 00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:41,514 really get your motor running. 482 00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:43,057 Doesn't sound like me. 483 00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:44,275 And it worked, right? 484 00:15:44,502 --> 00:15:46,277 Your next assignment-- the oral presentation-- 485 00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:49,021 that was a solid A-minus. Remember? 486 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,690 And that concludes my report. 487 00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:54,935 And now would anyone care for Latvia's popular savory pastry, 488 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,120 piradzini? 489 00:15:56,272 --> 00:15:57,938 I did not work harder on that. 490 00:15:58,032 --> 00:15:59,699 I had a lot of soda and I couldn't sleep. 491 00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:02,961 And we happened to have all the ingredients for piradzini! 492 00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:04,128 I'm just saying, 493 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,630 I still have a few moves, huh? 494 00:16:05,781 --> 00:16:08,040 So she made me get an A-minus? 495 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,208 -That rat. -(groans) 496 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,635 Maybe LaBonz is... (sighs) 497 00:16:10,862 --> 00:16:13,029 actually kind of an okay teacher? 498 00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:15,622 And person? If teachers are, in fact, people. 499 00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:17,791 I mean, Gene and I both had her for fourth grade, 500 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,460 and she really got us to step up our game. 501 00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:21,462 Wait, you guys used to be... worse students? 502 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,706 Oh, yeah. I didn't do school so good. 503 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:25,316 Now I do school not so bad. 504 00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:26,300 There she goes, 505 00:16:26,394 --> 00:16:28,211 walking out to the overflow lot. 506 00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:30,471 And walking. And walking. 507 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:33,491 Crap. I don't want Ms. LaBonz to see my evaluation now. 508 00:16:33,642 --> 00:16:34,659 It's... not nice. 509 00:16:34,886 --> 00:16:37,236 Getting smaller. Crossing the train tracks. 510 00:16:37,405 --> 00:16:39,238 Should she have just taken the train there? 511 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,647 It's actually just mean. 512 00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:42,558 Ooh, there's a big puddle in her way. 513 00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:43,392 She's thinking. 514 00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:44,577 Maybe even nasty. 515 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,005 Is she turning around? No, she's gonna jump it! 516 00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:48,548 Running and... 517 00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:49,749 Oh! So close. 518 00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:51,234 I got to get that evaluation back. 519 00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:52,677 Is that dog attacking her? 520 00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:54,345 Never mind. She fought it off. 521 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,576 Hey, Mr. Frond, I, uh, need to take back my evaluation. 522 00:17:00,669 --> 00:17:02,503 It has curse words in it, and I know how delicate you are. 523 00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:03,746 Louise, stop. 524 00:17:03,765 --> 00:17:05,431 Once an evaluation goes into the system-- 525 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,175 which is my canvas messenger bag-- that's it. 526 00:17:08,269 --> 00:17:10,269 Plus, see all these poor saps waiting? 527 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,605 Sor-Sorry, Mr. De Santo. Maybe you'll be fine. 528 00:17:12,757 --> 00:17:15,182 -But I have to get... -No, get your paws out of there. 529 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,868 Well, uh, while we have you, 530 00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:19,278 Gene had a weird dream he needs analyzed. 531 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:22,265 Actually, I did. I dreamt I had hair down to my butt 532 00:17:22,283 --> 00:17:24,100 and I could swing it like nobody's business 533 00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:25,434 and heads were a-turnin'. 534 00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:26,878 Wow. But I don't have time. 535 00:17:27,029 --> 00:17:29,547 Tina, you needed some emergency counseling, didn't you? 536 00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,108 Uh, I'm afraid books are going to miss me 537 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,384 when I finish reading them. 538 00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:34,218 Should I be worried I think that? 539 00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:35,294 -Probably. -(groans) 540 00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:36,721 Let's do this, Coach Blevins. 541 00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:38,222 Oh, my God, I think I'm gonna be sick. 542 00:17:38,374 --> 00:17:40,299 I've got a trash can. You can puke in that. 543 00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:41,684 Been there. 544 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:43,710 So, any progress? 545 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,712 Are you gonna be my customers for a change? 546 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,473 Calm down, Mort. They're still deadlocked. 547 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,716 Hey! "Deadlocked." You can use that if you want. 548 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,477 I think we're just not gonna figure it out today. 549 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,238 So we're back to plan B-- don't get hit by a bus. 550 00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:57,057 No. You know what? Whatever we do after we're gone, Lin, 551 00:17:57,151 --> 00:17:58,651 I just want it to be together. 552 00:17:58,803 --> 00:18:01,245 So, if you want your ashes spread somewhere crazy 553 00:18:01,397 --> 00:18:03,748 or you want to be thrown into a volcano, 554 00:18:03,899 --> 00:18:04,974 that's what I want, too. 555 00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,309 I just want to be with you. 556 00:18:06,402 --> 00:18:07,568 Even if we're dead. 557 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,996 Aw, Bobby. Hey, maybe being buried isn't so bad. 558 00:18:11,165 --> 00:18:13,240 It'd kind of be like laying around in bed Sunday mornings 559 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,483 before the kids were born, right? 560 00:18:14,502 --> 00:18:15,985 Yeah, but what about the worms? 561 00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:17,744 Well, maybe they'll eat you first and be like, 562 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,506 "Eh, this place sucks. Let's try another cemetery." 563 00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:22,433 Thanks, Lin. I-I think. 564 00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:24,251 No pressure, but here are some prices 565 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,178 if you want to lock in now and beat inflation. 566 00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:28,106 -Oh, my God. -That's for two? 567 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,774 We're not buying the whole row! 568 00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:31,334 Forget it. We'll never afford that. 569 00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:33,093 You know, I-I got a pretty big yard. 570 00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:34,094 -What? -Go on. 571 00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,279 Is there a shade tree? 572 00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:36,948 No, but there are some huge dandelions. 573 00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:38,098 So illegal. 574 00:18:38,192 --> 00:18:39,433 We're just joking, Mort. 575 00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:40,843 We're not gonna do it. 576 00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:42,269 I see you winking. 577 00:18:42,363 --> 00:18:43,696 Not terrible scores, Coach. 578 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,364 I really thought someone would bring up your breath. 579 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,199 There's something the matter with my breath? 580 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,033 No... 581 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,201 So, uh, who's next? 582 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,628 Ms. LaBonz, let's do you. 583 00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:52,279 -Okay. -Mr. Frond, can I just have one minute? 584 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,689 -Go away, Louise. -(groans) 585 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:56,375 Leave school! Can't believe I have to say that. 586 00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:58,952 What do we do? I need to get in there and explain. 587 00:18:59,046 --> 00:19:00,045 Message in a bottle? 588 00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:01,530 Carrier pigeon? Regular pigeon? 589 00:19:01,699 --> 00:19:03,290 Start a rumor, hope it spreads in there? 590 00:19:03,384 --> 00:19:04,717 Wait. There is a way. 591 00:19:04,869 --> 00:19:06,702 All right, let's just start plowing through these. 592 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:10,373 Wow. Uh, this person had a lot to say. Whew. 593 00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:13,042 I'm just gonna move this box of tissues closer to you. 594 00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,043 No reason. 595 00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:15,319 Let's get it over with. 596 00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,822 "Ms. LaBonz is so burned-out..." 597 00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:19,640 LOUISE: Hi, I'm an anonymous student 598 00:19:19,734 --> 00:19:21,826 with an updated evaluation. 599 00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:23,327 -What? -Huh? 600 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,887 And if I sound like someone you know, I'm not. 601 00:19:24,906 --> 00:19:26,889 Anyway, please disregard the evaluation 602 00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:28,166 with the amazing zings. 603 00:19:28,317 --> 00:19:29,483 That one got out by mistake. 604 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,484 I may have been hacked. 605 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,652 Pesky Russians. 606 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,412 My real review is that, 607 00:19:33,564 --> 00:19:35,915 sure, Ms. LaBonz is grizzled and grumpy 608 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:37,675 and coughs on you while you're taking tests. 609 00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:41,070 But underneath that rough exterior, there's a... 610 00:19:41,088 --> 00:19:44,573 soft chewy center that does a pretty good job teaching and... 611 00:19:44,592 --> 00:19:47,410 (sighs) brings out the best in her students. 612 00:19:47,503 --> 00:19:50,913 So, on a one-to-five scale, I'm giving her, 613 00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:53,082 across the board, sixes. 614 00:19:53,175 --> 00:19:54,174 It's a rave! 615 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,677 LaBonz, you sly fox. 616 00:19:56,771 --> 00:19:58,421 Six? There's no six. 617 00:19:58,514 --> 00:20:00,105 (sniffles) What are you looking at? 618 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,682 And, Mr. Frond, you're a three. 619 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,350 -On a good day. -Hey. 620 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,036 And I am, again, anonymous. 621 00:20:05,263 --> 00:20:06,537 You don't know who I am. 622 00:20:06,764 --> 00:20:08,706 Or who we are, in case we're not supposed to be in here. 623 00:20:08,857 --> 00:20:10,766 -(click) -I think I turned it off. Good job, Louise. 624 00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:12,768 GENE: You did, Tina. You totally turned it off. 625 00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:13,936 TINA: Thanks, Gene. 626 00:20:14,622 --> 00:20:16,530 So, back to just a normal school day. 627 00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:18,549 Reading, writing and what's that third one? 628 00:20:18,776 --> 00:20:19,866 Oh, yeah, the Eurythmics. 629 00:20:19,961 --> 00:20:22,386 (groans) I don't want to face LaBonz today. 630 00:20:22,538 --> 00:20:24,931 I mean, who knows if my intercom evaluation even counted? 631 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,117 -(honk) -Move it, if you don't want to be three wet spots 632 00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:29,452 wearing backpacks. 633 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:31,287 Ms. LaBonz, you got the main lot! 634 00:20:31,305 --> 00:20:33,806 Principal Spoors heard your evaluation. 635 00:20:33,958 --> 00:20:34,957 I mean, who didn't? 636 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,792 He bumped me up. So... 637 00:20:36,811 --> 00:20:38,477 -thank you, Louise. -You're welcome. 638 00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,738 I mean, I don't even know what you're talking about. 639 00:20:40,965 --> 00:20:42,648 Uh, I'll see you inside. 640 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,075 And I won't be paying attention. 641 00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:46,969 I won't even notice 'cause I'll be gazing out the window 642 00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:48,471 at my new parking space. 643 00:20:48,489 --> 00:20:50,897 Oh, and my next project is going to be extra terrible. 644 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,233 Don't go to any special trouble, Louise. 645 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,977 -I never do. -We'll see. 646 00:20:54,996 --> 00:20:56,420 -LOUISE: We will see. -They're gonna miss the bell. 647 00:20:56,647 --> 00:20:59,257 -And all of school, maybe? -Yeah, get a classroom. 648 00:20:59,408 --> 00:21:01,408 ♪ I'll be tossed in a volcano ♪ 649 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,761 ♪ When I'm dead, how can I say no? ♪ 650 00:21:03,988 --> 00:21:05,671 ♪ It's explosive, it's expansive ♪ 651 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,081 ♪ It's exclusive and it's new ♪ 652 00:21:08,175 --> 00:21:09,767 ♪ It'll be so nice to think ♪ 653 00:21:09,994 --> 00:21:11,994 ♪ That I'll never be extinct ♪ 654 00:21:11,996 --> 00:21:16,089 ♪ So much harder to forget than you ♪ 655 00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:18,501 ♪ Yes, I'll be around ♪ 656 00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:20,278 ♪ I'll be the hot new thing in town ♪ 657 00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,596 ♪ Unlike you and you and you ♪ 658 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,448 ♪ I'll be around ♪ 659 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,286 ♪ Unlike you, Bob, I'll be around. ♪ 660 00:21:28,437 --> 00:21:30,638 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 661 00:21:30,714 --> 00:21:32,123 and TOYOTA. 662 00:21:32,274 --> 00:21:34,750 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org