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♪ ♪
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All right,
beach clean-up people.
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The first ever
Wagstaff Volunteer Day
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is about to begin.
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I just gave this
little speech to the sidewalk
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gum-scrapers,
but I'll say it again here.
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Yes, all of this was my idea.
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One day I drove past
a busload of prisoners
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picking up trash and I thought,
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"What about that,
but for schoolchildren?"
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And Wagstaff Mandatory
Volunteer Day was born.
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Wow, I'm glad you didn't
drive by something way worse.
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Like a CrossFit.
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Everyone stay in line.
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I'll be right back,
I just have to go potty.
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Maybe I shouldn't
volunteer that info.
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Hmm? (chuckles)
All right, whatever.
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Beach clean-up, huh, guys?
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Did we pick the best activity
or what?
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Uh, yeah, duh.
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Do you think it'll be like
cleaning up at the restaurant?
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Because I am pretty good
at that.
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I mean, it's not more greasy
after you clean.
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Sucks to be those kids.
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They waited too long
and now they have to shelve
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books at the public library.
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Ew.
Ew to books, ew to all of it.
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I mean, public library
could be cool.
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Yeah, the library has magazines.
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Maybe we should've picked
the library, Zeke.
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-Nah, J-Ju.
-I'm second-guessing.
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Look at me. Stay strong, girl.
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Guys, it's no contest.
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This beach clean-up is
literally a day at the beach.
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♪ ♪
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High-five, pelican, high-five.
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Okay, everyone, load up.
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Nothing beats doing good
while not doing much, huh, guys?
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Should we send our jacket sizes
to the Nobel Prize people?
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I assume the winners
get jackets?
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LINDA:
Okay, Teddy.
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-See you soon.
-What was that about?
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Teddy called to say
he's almost here.
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So, now he calls
to tell us he's coming in?
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Yeah, he says he's coming in
to eat, and also get ready
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-for something exciting.
-Oh, God. What could that mean?
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If I wanted exciting,
I would've gone
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to the falafel place for lunch.
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They have
a very large fish tank.
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You know, Teddy hasn't been in
in like two weeks.
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I hope he didn't join a cult.
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I mean, it's amazing he's gone
this long without joining one.
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-What the...?
-What's happening?
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Bob. Linda.
You're there, probably, right?
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-It's me. Teddy. Oof.
-Hi, Teddy.
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-Oh. Hello, Mort.
-Teddy, why are you doing that?
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'Cause of the surprise.
You're gonna love it.
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Wait, is Mort sitting
on my stool?
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-No...
-Teddy.
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Just give us the surprise before
you break something, okay?
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You asked for it. Ta-da.
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-Whoa.
-I know, right?
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You grew a mustache?
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Freddie Mercury,
meet Teddy Mercury.
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Always got to bring it back
to a dead person, huh, Mort?
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What? No. Do I do that?
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-So what do you think?
-I like it.
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-It's good. It's facial hair.
-Thanks.
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Guess I'll be ordering burgers
for two from now on.
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Huh, Bobby?
(laughs)
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Uh, yep.
Could you stop stroking it?
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-It's-it's hard to watch.
-Yeah. Little bit.
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-Sorry, sorry.
-Thanks.
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-How do you not touch it,
you know?
-Mm.
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Uh-oh.
I'm doing it again, aren't I?
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-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm, yep.
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Is everyone excited
about helping their community?
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When I say "helping,"
you say "my community."
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Helping.
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Can we be the ones
who say "helping"?
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Yeah, I want to say "helping."
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-What? No.
-Helping.
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Don't--
I did not authorize that, Zeke.
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Helping.
Wait, what are we doing?
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Okay, never mind. Sit quietly,
we're almost there.
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Mm, we are gonna look
so good picking up trash.
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We're gonna look amazing
in our selfies. Of ourselves.
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We're gonna inspire so many less
hot people to pick up trash.
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You already inspired me to want
to jump out the window
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while the bus is moving.
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And we're here. Everybody out.
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Get ready for an easy,
breezy beach day, people.
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You said it, sister.
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Oh.
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Are those underpants tangled
in fishing line?
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(stammering)
Don't touch those.
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-Oh, no.
-Biggest cleaning
challenge ever?
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Meet Tina.
We're gonna get along just fine.
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Okay, listen up,
you will sort all trash
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into recyclables,
non-recyclables,
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and a third category
we'll call "unspeakables."
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Which brings me to gloves.
Trust me: wear the gloves.
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Gimme, gimme, gimme!
These make it seem
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like I'm really doing this.
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You are doing this.
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-Right.
-Okay, get to it.
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If you need me, I'll be
over there, watching like a hawk
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but also making a quick call
to the cable company.
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I'm somehow being charged
for three cable boxes.
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Has that happened to any of you?
No?
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-(wind blowing)
-(all clamoring)
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It's a filthy cold
garbage beach.
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It wasn't supposed
to be like this.
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I was gonna high-five a pelican.
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More fishing line undies.
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What's with these fish losing
their underwear?
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What the heck was I thinking?
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I live here. I forgot
how horrible our town is. Blech.
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Are you sure you're not
just excited about how fun
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and difficult this is gonna be?
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Oh, hey, look, a hermit crab.
Fun already.
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Cool crab fact:
they're not actually hermits.
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-They're pretty social.
-This is no time
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for your aquarium mumbo jumbo,
Tina.
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Yeah, enough
of your crab-aganda.
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They also change their shells
when they outgrow them.
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Like me and shoes
every two months.
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I wish I could change shells.
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I'd change into the shell
of a kid who didn't have
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to clean this friggin' beach.
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Oh, shell yes.
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Question about my bill.
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Question. About. My bill.
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Am I not saying that clearly?
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I told you I don't have
any food.
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Looks like you made a friend,
Gene.
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I guess I drop a lot of food
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when I come to Wonder Wharf
and the gulls have noticed.
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I don't have anything right now.
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-Don't look at me like that.
-Ugh. Soda cups. Paper plates.
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-This is all stuff
from Wonder Wharf.
-JIMMY JR.: Look, Zeke.
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The wrapper
for a foot-long taco dog.
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Oh, man,
that's making me hungry.
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Comes with that chunky
cheese dippin' sauce.
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-Mmm, chunky.
-Give me the wrapper.
I want to smell it.
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And the seagull also
wants to smell it.
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I just put it in my trash bag.
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Ah, fine.
He's got nothing for us.
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-Hey, Mickey.
-Bunny Ears.
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Are you small
or are you just far away?
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Both. Hey, you still work
at the wharf, right?
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Yep, until my ship comes in.
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-I applied to work on a ship.
-Why aren't Wonder Wharf people
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picking up
all this Wonder Wharf trash?
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I don't know.
Ask Mr. Fischoeder.
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-He's right next to you.
-Ooh.
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Yes, he is. Hi.
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Please stop badgering
my employee.
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Carnies are delicate creatures.
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Interaction with
the outside world confuses them.
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Hi, Mr. Fischoeder.
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Hi, whichever one you are.
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You're late, I assume.
Go to work.
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Quick, but have fun.
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Ah, the lovely, stinky ocean.
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Just out
for my daily salt-stitutional.
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Salty sea air keeps me
well-preserved, like a ham hock.
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Mr. Fischoeder. Look at this.
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All this trash is
from Wonder Wharf.
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And now I have to pick it up
because school is
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making me
because they're monsters.
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Now, now, there's no way to know
where that trash comes from.
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It could be from anywhere.
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"From the desk
of Calvin Fischoeder."
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It's a very common name.
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How do I know it's not
from your desk?
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Maybe you're Calvin Fischoeder.
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Anyway, thanks
for all the free child labor.
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It's the best kind of labor,
after all.
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You're not welcome.
I mean, shouldn't you be
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paying to clean this up?
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Some would say so,
but people keep
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volunteering to do it for me.
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School groups, do-gooders.
You know, squares.
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Now excuse me, I have to de-salt
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before I attend
to my wharf duties.
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Mmm. Yes, I might have
overdone it today.
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Hmm, wait. If volunteers like us
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didn't clean the beach,
then nobody would?
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And everyone would blame you
and be mad?
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I don't like
where this is going.
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I think what I need is some
motivation, like, I don't know,
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a free foot-long taco dog?
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Now, if I gave you an FLTD,
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I'd have to give one
to everyone.
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Well... yeah.
So, how 'bout it?
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(groans) You're a pesky
garbage urchin, aren't you?
199
00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:21,831
Does that mean yes?
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Whoa-ho, volunteering
is rewarding.
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Okay, Jocelyn,
and make a face like,
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"Oh, my God,
I'm doing a good thing
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and I don't even care who sees."
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-Got it.
-Great.
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Um, you kind of just dropped
that trash back on the beach
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after you took your picture--
maybe you want
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-to just pop that in your bag?
-Don't be a bag nag, Tina.
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Yeah. My bag's clean.
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I don't want to get trash on it.
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Everyone. Attention?
211
00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:50,043
I just wanted to let you know
that I convinced Mr. Fischoeder
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00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,212
to give us
free foot-long taco dogs
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-if we clean the beach.
-(kids cheering)
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00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,123
Um, is that all?
215
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,976
What do you mean, "is that all?"
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It's free foot-long
taco dogs, Tammy,
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that you were not getting
before, but now you are.
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00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:06,042
I mean, cleaning a whole beach
for some hot dogs?
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00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:08,044
It's a foot-long taco dog!
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Don't call it a hot dog.
221
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Show some respect.
222
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I'm telling her that.
I know you know.
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Tammy's right-- it is a lot
of work for just that.
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I mean, we're supposed
to clean the beach anyway.
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Yeah, but not for nothing.
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That's what volunteering is.
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00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:23,226
Um, don't think so.
228
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Okay, I'll be the negotiator.
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00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:26,338
Ugh! It's easy, you just say
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"no, better, no, better"
until you have
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the biggest bedroom
in the house.
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What? No. I can handle it.
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That was just...
round one, people.
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Of course we're gonna go bigger.
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I'll, uh, go back
for round two right now.
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Wait, Louise, maybe
we should use this time
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to actually, I don't know,
clean up the beach?
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And what about Mr. Frond?
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I do not want the Sports
and Extreme Outdoors Package.
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I just want to watch
premium dramas on one cable box
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00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,345
and pay for just
the one cable box, Derek!
242
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,773
Okay, he's a little distracted.
243
00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:55,608
Tina, this is good
for the beach.
244
00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:57,018
Because we get stuff.
245
00:08:57,186 --> 00:08:59,037
The beach is happy
when we're happy.
246
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:01,281
-What?
-You get it.
Okay, see you later.
247
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,100
Mm, you've still got it, Bob.
Haven't lost a step.
248
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:06,360
You mean in the two weeks
you were weirdly
249
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,938
not coming here because you
were growing a mustache?
250
00:09:09,032 --> 00:09:10,106
-Mmm. Yeah.
-What's that?
251
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:12,199
-It's my grooming kit.
-Looks fancy.
252
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,110
The guy at the shaving store
sold it to me.
253
00:09:14,203 --> 00:09:16,888
Just the basics-- clippers,
oils, combs, shampoos.
254
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,131
My 'Stache Cash card.
255
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,300
That's their
Mustache Rewards program.
256
00:09:20,452 --> 00:09:21,893
How much did you pay
for all that?
257
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,286
-75 bucks.
-Wow.
258
00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:25,638
-You don't use this stuff, Bob?
-Uh, no.
259
00:09:25,715 --> 00:09:27,399
Okay, walk me
through your mustache regimen.
260
00:09:27,626 --> 00:09:30,960
I guess I get food out of it
when there's food in it?
261
00:09:31,129 --> 00:09:33,129
-And...?
-I think that's about it.
262
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:35,222
Oof. Well, now we're
in this together, pal.
263
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,391
Pretty soon, we'll be
trading mustache advice,
264
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,911
keeping a mustache log
that we only show each other.
265
00:09:40,138 --> 00:09:41,971
-Mm, mm-hmm.
-Better go floss this thing.
266
00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:43,139
You floss yours?
267
00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:44,899
-You want to join?
-I'm-I'm good.
268
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,810
Uh, you're not, but okay.
269
00:09:46,828 --> 00:09:48,661
Huh. Felix, too?
270
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:50,738
She's gonna be here this
afternoon to take pictures.
271
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,924
Do you really think she can
make this junky old wharf
272
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,651
look like
a hot tourist attraction?
273
00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:57,003
Sonya's the best
at photographing the worst.
274
00:09:57,155 --> 00:09:59,097
She could make Chernobyl
look like Cher-yes-byl.
275
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,341
It won't be easy,
especially this time of year.
276
00:10:01,493 --> 00:10:03,176
Sonya said this time of year's
better actually?
277
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,844
Fewer people on the wharf.
278
00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:06,996
Yes, people can be an eyesore.
279
00:10:07,165 --> 00:10:08,681
-Not you. You're fine.
-Don't worry.
280
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,092
she's gonna give us something
great for the pamphlet.
281
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,594
Ah, pamphlets to display
at hotels and airports--
282
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:17,264
the lifeblood of any two-bit
circus and roadside attraction.
283
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,008
Someday we'll have
a nice pamphlet.
284
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:22,103
Maybe this is our year. Look,
we'll even have an actually sort
285
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,938
-of clean beach.
-LOUISE: Well, well, well.
286
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,850
-(both gasp)
-Sounds like you really
need the beach clean, huh?
287
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:28,109
Is someone getting
288
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,128
their amusement park picture
taken today?
289
00:10:30,355 --> 00:10:32,279
We are. We were literally
just talking about that.
290
00:10:32,448 --> 00:10:33,447
Felix, hush.
291
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,375
We might be able
to spruce up that sand.
292
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,877
But, uh, it's gonna take
more than foot-long taco dogs.
293
00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:39,471
But they're a foot long.
294
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:40,788
I mean, we've tried to
get them longer than that,
295
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,806
but it doesn't work.
296
00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,475
They sag. It's unsightly.
297
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:47,312
I was thinking...
a free day at Wonder Wharf.
298
00:10:47,539 --> 00:10:49,648
For me and every kid
cleaning the beach.
299
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:51,891
-Snack-inclusive.
-Fine.
300
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,060
If you de-trashify the beach
thoroughly
301
00:10:54,212 --> 00:10:57,046
from dead sea creature
to sleeping guy,
302
00:10:57,065 --> 00:10:58,715
within your allotted
volunteer hours,
303
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:01,217
I'll give you and your friends
a free day on the wharf.
304
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,977
Yes, I guess that's manageable.
305
00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:04,570
Uh, and you shut
the place down for us.
306
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,982
No lines, no waiting,
the full Willy Wonka.
307
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,242
The full Willy Wonka?
308
00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:11,227
-Whoa.
-It's never been done.
309
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,672
It goes against the whole idea
of making money with a business.
310
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:16,733
Okay, forget it. Hope your
pictures turn out real pretty
311
00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:19,160
-with all that garbage
blowing around.
-(sighs)
312
00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:22,238
Very well, you win,
annoying burger child.
313
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:24,832
-Wait, really? Yes!
-Seriously?
314
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,576
Hmm, she does look
like a burger.
315
00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:28,928
Listen up!
I just got us the best prize
316
00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,747
of our sweet little lives.
317
00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:32,248
Uh, as my dad says to me
318
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:34,267
whenever I ask to borrow
his angora sweater--
319
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,342
yeah, right.
320
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,937
Trust me,
you're gonna like this.
321
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,439
Clean. Oh, yeah.
Clean. Clean. Clean.
322
00:11:39,591 --> 00:11:41,199
Free day on the wharf.
Free day on the wharf.
323
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,443
Come on, Jocelyn.
Pick up the pace.
324
00:11:43,611 --> 00:11:46,262
Yeah, Jocelyn. I don't want
to see any slack in that sack.
325
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:47,354
God!
326
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:48,873
Don't just stand there
looking righteous.
327
00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:50,266
If you want to be my plus-one
328
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:52,127
on the wharf,
you're gonna have to earn it.
329
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:57,457
Wow, Louise. I think
we're actually gonna do it.
330
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,609
The beach is
almost not covered in trash.
331
00:11:59,627 --> 00:12:01,961
Do you think it feels naked?
Should we toss a shirt on it?
332
00:12:02,113 --> 00:12:03,129
Well, you did it, Louise.
333
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,723
We're getting
the full Willy Wonka.
334
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:07,225
Wait, one of us gets to own
the park at the end of the day?
335
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:09,452
No. Okay, it's
a three-quarter Wonka.
336
00:12:09,454 --> 00:12:11,804
-It's a Willy Wonk.
-Wait, is that Mickey?
337
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:15,308
TINA:
Mr. Fischoeder makes him
boogie-board holding bags?
338
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,717
Is that to entertain
the tourists?
339
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,902
-I'm into it.
-Hmm.
340
00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:19,479
Keep cleaning, I'll be back.
341
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,148
I'm gonna see what Mickey
Wetsuit over there is up to.
342
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,984
Boy, Teddy's been in
the bathroom for a while, huh?
343
00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:26,986
He's been in and out of there,
like, five times.
344
00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:28,488
He's playing with his mustache.
I know it.
345
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,140
Oh, Bob, so what?
He likes grooming it.
346
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:32,917
You know, you could stand
to give your bushel
347
00:12:33,069 --> 00:12:35,036
-a brushing now and then.
-Hmm.
348
00:12:35,146 --> 00:12:36,162
Hey, Bob,
when you scratch your mustache,
349
00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:37,163
does your leg bounce?
350
00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:38,498
What is that, some kinda reflex?
351
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,200
That doesn't happen to me...
or anybody.
352
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,668
Hey, what do you do
with the hairs that fall
353
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:45,505
out of your mustache? Do you put
'em in a little velvet sack?
354
00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:49,083
-Ooh!
-Okay, Teddy, let's have
a mustache talk time-out.
355
00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:50,584
Uh, okay,
but real quick, time in.
356
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,012
-I-I called time out.
-Yeah, and I called time in.
357
00:12:53,164 --> 00:12:54,497
-We each get three.
-What?
358
00:12:54,516 --> 00:12:57,000
Hey, before I forget,
do you do anything special
359
00:12:57,018 --> 00:12:58,501
in the bathtub
to pamper your mustache?
360
00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:01,112
I have to go, um...
away from here.
361
00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:03,097
-Bye.
-So this is
your second time-out?
362
00:13:03,174 --> 00:13:04,765
Or we're on your first?
363
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,859
Mickey. How's the surf? Up?
364
00:13:07,012 --> 00:13:08,435
Oh, hey.
365
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,864
Yeah, just out here doing
some boarding, boogie-style.
366
00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:13,124
Aren't you supposed
to be working?
367
00:13:13,276 --> 00:13:14,292
Also what's with the bag?
368
00:13:14,519 --> 00:13:16,869
Oh, this?
It's all my boogie gear.
369
00:13:17,022 --> 00:13:19,038
-Looks like trash.
-Well, that's 'cause
you don't know
370
00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:20,690
much about the boogie lifestyle.
371
00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:23,026
Wait a minute--
did Mr. Fischoeder send you
372
00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:24,694
to trash the beach
at the last minute,
373
00:13:24,712 --> 00:13:27,213
so he wouldn't have to give us
the three-quarter Willy Wonka?
374
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,382
-Uh...
-He did, didn't he, Mickey?
375
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:31,476
-Didn't he?
-(groans) How'd you know?
376
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:34,145
Was it the whole "darting away
when you saw me" thing?
377
00:13:34,372 --> 00:13:35,480
I knew that looked suspicious.
378
00:13:35,631 --> 00:13:37,540
I've always been terrible
at darting. You mad?
379
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:40,151
Yeah, I'm mad.
What was the plan? Spill it.
380
00:13:40,228 --> 00:13:42,136
After the photographer
takes her pictures,
381
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,822
I'm supposed to wait
for the signal,
382
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:45,214
then spread trash on the beach.
383
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:46,549
What's the signal?
384
00:13:46,642 --> 00:13:48,309
Felix is gonna shriek
like a scared peacock.
385
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,144
It's the only
animal sound he knows.
386
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,830
(groans)
So unfair!
387
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:53,239
I know, poor guy.
I should teach him
388
00:13:53,391 --> 00:13:54,982
how to moo-- oh, or oink.
389
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,951
Anyway, let's never lie
to each other again.
390
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,153
But, uh, don't tell
anybody we talked, okay?
391
00:13:59,247 --> 00:14:01,247
-Bob. Bob.
-Yeah?
392
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,157
Mind if I bring up
a ticklish subject?
393
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,676
Your mustache. Get it?.
394
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,069
'Cause it tickles? Eh...
395
00:14:06,162 --> 00:14:07,737
But, seriously,
I'm looking at you
396
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:08,921
and I'm seeing a dry mustache.
397
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,014
A real lip loofah.
398
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,757
I can't do this anymore, Teddy.
399
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,167
I can't talk about this anymore.
400
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,336
-Bob...
-No, Linda, it's too much.
401
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,747
This is too much. I-It's fine
that you have a mustache.
402
00:14:17,916 --> 00:14:19,932
But we have to talk
about other things, Teddy.
403
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,342
There's a whole world out there.
404
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,936
Oh, you know what I think
this is? You're jealous.
405
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,013
Suddenly you're not
the only mustache guy.
406
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:27,256
I'm not jealous!
407
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:28,941
There's a hot new mustache
on the scene,
408
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,276
and Bob can't stand it!
409
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,095
Huh, Bob? You can't stand it!
410
00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:33,371
'Cause I got one of these now.
411
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:35,448
-That's ridiculous, Teddy!
-Oh, is it?!
412
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,710
Calm down, both of ya.
You're acting like babies.
413
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,103
-Hairy babies.
-Fine.
414
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:42,714
Bring me my bill
and I will be on my way.
415
00:14:42,941 --> 00:14:44,273
Aah! Tangle.
416
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,944
So I had to touch garbage
and I got sand on my leg,
417
00:14:47,962 --> 00:14:49,703
and it was all for nothing?
418
00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,372
I got sand on my leg, too.
419
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:53,207
At least tell me there
will be foot-long taco dogs!
420
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,209
I promised the seagull.
421
00:14:55,303 --> 00:14:57,620
Look, I'm sorry.
It's stupid Fischoeder.
422
00:14:57,789 --> 00:15:00,640
But, hey, the beach is cleaner,
which is the whole reason
423
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,642
we came here today, so yay?
424
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,569
And it's not a big deal,
but I cleaned the most.
425
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,237
Not that that makes me
a better person or anything.
426
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,055
I wasn't even thinking
about that. (chuckles)
427
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:09,315
ZEKE:
Hey, look at that.
428
00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:11,225
Poor little thing's
living out of a foot-long
429
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,485
taco dog dippin' sauce cup.
430
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,412
We never thought about
the dark side of the dog.
431
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:16,489
He must've gotten confused
at shell-changing time.
432
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,249
This beach is usually
so covered in garbage
433
00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:19,992
he doesn't know what's a shell
and what's not.
434
00:15:20,145 --> 00:15:23,087
This is most I've ever been
disappointed in dipping sauce.
435
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,073
He's never gonna be able
to get a hermit crab job
436
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:27,908
or a hermit crab date.
Not looking like that.
437
00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:29,835
See? This is why
we clean the beach.
438
00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:31,654
So this guy can find
his soul mate.
439
00:15:31,656 --> 00:15:32,746
Wait. That's it.
440
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,081
What? We do The Bachelor,
but for crabs?
441
00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:35,600
And we make this right?
442
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:36,750
Oh, my God, yes!
443
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,327
No, this little guy's
gonna get us
444
00:15:38,346 --> 00:15:40,254
all the way to
the three-quarter Wonka.
445
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,181
-Tammy, I need your phone.
-Hey!
446
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,258
Do you want a three-quarter
Wonka day or not?
447
00:15:44,352 --> 00:15:46,444
-(groans)
-Hey, crab, say cheese.
448
00:15:46,671 --> 00:15:48,354
GENE: But not
"chunky cheese dipping sauce."
449
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,281
Because you're probably
sensitive about that.
450
00:15:54,362 --> 00:15:55,936
Okay, little garbage crab,
you're our golden ticket.
451
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,530
How do you find
a crab's best angle?
452
00:15:57,682 --> 00:15:58,605
(groans) Let me.
453
00:15:58,700 --> 00:15:59,940
(camera clicking)
454
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:01,292
Mm, that one's cute,
use that one.
455
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:03,444
But you're in the--
(groans) Good enough.
456
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,689
Looks like Fischoeder's
special guest is here.
457
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:07,857
I'll be right back.
458
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,875
Here you go.
Hope you like food.
459
00:16:10,028 --> 00:16:11,285
Uh, thank you.
460
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,120
Lin, did you just say,
"I hope you like food"?
461
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,864
What? I try stuff out.
462
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:16,790
-Oh, no.
-I'm shaving it!
463
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:17,958
I'm shaving it off!
464
00:16:18,052 --> 00:16:19,310
Teddy, what are you
talking about?
465
00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:20,961
-I'm shaving off the mustache.
-(clippers buzzing)
466
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,371
It's a hairy curse.
467
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,148
-It's tearing us apart.
-Teddy, stop!
468
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:26,818
Don't do that.
I mean, do it if you want.
469
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:27,986
Just not in our restaurant.
470
00:16:28,137 --> 00:16:29,970
I could, uh, uh, put a bus tub
471
00:16:30,048 --> 00:16:31,214
underneath to catch the hairs.
472
00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:32,548
Linda, no, don't encourage him.
473
00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:34,158
Get the bus tub, Linda.
I'm gonna do it.
474
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,995
-Hello, sir. How are you?
-Sorry about this, sir.
475
00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:39,071
We're best friends.
We're going through a thing.
476
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,498
Friends having mustache
troubles, you know.
477
00:16:40,575 --> 00:16:43,317
It's not mustache troubles.
Teddy, stop!
478
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,836
Do you want to know
why I grew this thing?
479
00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:46,320
No, I don't.
480
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,563
Because I thought
we could bond over it.
481
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,173
And I thought we could use
a little bonding
482
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,417
right about now,
considering what happened.
483
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,069
What? Wh-What happened?
484
00:16:53,087 --> 00:16:54,420
I don't even know
what you're talking about.
485
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:56,088
Remember a few weeks ago
when I told you
486
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,683
the "It Takes Gouda to Make
a Thing Go Rye" burger
487
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:01,244
-wasn't my favorite?
-I don't really remember.
488
00:17:01,262 --> 00:17:03,670
Oh, sure you do.
After that you got all quiet.
489
00:17:03,839 --> 00:17:05,339
Short one-word responses.
490
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,859
I missed us.
I needed to do something.
491
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,268
Teddy, I wasn't mad.
I think I might
492
00:17:09,437 --> 00:17:11,178
not have even been
listening to you.
493
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,180
Teddy, give me the clippers.
494
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,366
No. This thing's got
to go right now.
495
00:17:15,518 --> 00:17:18,036
I brought it into this world,
and I can take it out.
496
00:17:18,221 --> 00:17:20,538
No, Teddy, keep it.
It looks... great.
497
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:23,708
I'm sorry I was annoyed
that you were talking about it.
498
00:17:23,859 --> 00:17:25,268
And constantly combing it.
499
00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,103
And constantly
going into the bathroom
500
00:17:27,272 --> 00:17:29,530
to play with it
so, so many times.
501
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,942
Well, if you weren't mad at me
about the Burger of the Day,
502
00:17:33,111 --> 00:17:34,460
truth is,
I don't really want this thing.
503
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,779
It's itchy, and I don't think
it really suits my face.
504
00:17:36,798 --> 00:17:38,389
Right? Am I right, sir?
505
00:17:38,582 --> 00:17:40,800
I-I can't tell.
Hold your finger up?
506
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,134
-See?
-Yeah. Maybe no mustache.
507
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,877
-It's coming off.
-Fine,
508
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,121
but maybe not here, please?
509
00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:47,065
Okay, okay. I'll do it at home.
510
00:17:47,141 --> 00:17:49,067
Anyone want to give it
a touch before it's gone?
511
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:50,851
-Bob?
-Bob, touch it.
512
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,478
Touch his mustache.
513
00:17:52,647 --> 00:17:54,463
Oh, okay, fine.
514
00:17:54,632 --> 00:17:56,966
Huh. It's really silky.
515
00:17:56,984 --> 00:17:58,892
Hey, Bob, I want you
to have this.
516
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:00,319
Oh. Thank you, Teddy.
517
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,246
And just pay me
whatever you think is fair.
518
00:18:02,398 --> 00:18:04,064
It doesn't have
to be the full 75.
519
00:18:04,158 --> 00:18:05,975
I don't want
to pay anything for it.
520
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:07,493
FISCHOEDER:
What a shot.
521
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:09,495
You can barely see the seagull
poop on the railings.
522
00:18:09,647 --> 00:18:11,831
-Yeah, it's your best angle.
-It really is.
523
00:18:11,983 --> 00:18:13,925
-Mr. Fischoeder?
-Oh, hello,
524
00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:15,318
Mr. Little Girl.
525
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,652
Well, we cleaned
the whole beach.
526
00:18:16,821 --> 00:18:18,745
So, I guess you owe us
a free day at the park.
527
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,264
I'll need to check your work.
528
00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:21,748
I have a feeling
you missed some spots.
529
00:18:21,843 --> 00:18:25,085
Oh, are you talking about Mickey
and his secret trash stash?
530
00:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,437
"Trash stash"?
531
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:28,773
-Whatever could you mean?
-Over there.
532
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,942
FISCHOEDER:
All I see is a shy
boogie-boarder
533
00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:32,593
darting behind a pole.
534
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,337
Sonya, what do you think?
Do we have what we need?
535
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,263
-Are we pamphlet-ready?
-I'd say so.
536
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:37,931
Then, Felix? Peacock?
537
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,368
(Felix squawking)
538
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,346
Oh, no, look at that.
539
00:18:43,364 --> 00:18:45,181
Well, you know what they say.
540
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:47,608
Trashy beach,
prize out of reach.
541
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,202
-First of all, fun rhyme.
-Thank you, I know.
542
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,797
Second of all, looks like you
got a real nice picture there.
543
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,357
But so did I.
544
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:55,949
And if you don't stick
to our deal,
545
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,526
the world's gonna see this.
546
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,363
A selfie of a heavily
made-up teen?
547
00:19:00,381 --> 00:19:02,365
No, the hermit crab behind her?
548
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,383
With the Wonder Wharf-branded
foot-long taco dog
549
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,978
cheesy chunk dipping sauce
container for a shell.
550
00:19:07,205 --> 00:19:09,221
-Hmm.
-Yeah. I'm gonna crop out Tammy,
551
00:19:09,374 --> 00:19:11,374
and I'm gonna put this picture
on all the social media
552
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:13,376
I can figure out how to get on.
553
00:19:13,544 --> 00:19:15,711
And people are gonna get
real crabby about it.
554
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:18,731
People get really upset about
sad animals who live in trash.
555
00:19:18,883 --> 00:19:20,232
Especially if they're cute.
556
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,993
How cute is that crab?
Let me see it again?
557
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,569
Ooh, he's pretty cute.
558
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,164
Well, that's some terrific
blackmail, young lady.
559
00:19:26,315 --> 00:19:28,557
-I know. Good.
-I have no choice but to act.
560
00:19:28,576 --> 00:19:31,076
I mean, a thing like this
could be bad for my bottom line.
561
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,561
Your butt crack? Oh! Got it.
562
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:35,080
But shutting down
the wharf for a whole day,
563
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,066
so you and your buddies
can get your jollies
564
00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:40,085
eating my lollies,
that costs a lot, too.
565
00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:42,087
-It does.
-Okay, fine.
566
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,255
Starting today, I'm going to pay
567
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:45,666
my carnie folk
to clean the beach.
568
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:47,593
Yeah, you will. Wait, what?
569
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:50,596
If your sad crab goes viral,
I'll just say we jumped
570
00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:52,506
into action the moment we became
aware of the situation,
571
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,917
and just look at our carnies
clean.
572
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,585
Hmm? With such gusto.
573
00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:58,754
-But...
-Felix, would you be
a plucky peacock,
574
00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:01,590
and tell Mickey to clean up
the trash he just threw?
575
00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:02,700
(Felix squawking)
576
00:20:02,927 --> 00:20:04,351
Huh?
577
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,870
-He'll figure it out.
-Aah!
578
00:20:06,097 --> 00:20:07,596
No, it's not like that.
It's like this.
579
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:08,781
(squawking)
580
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:12,526
At least Mr. Fischoeder gave us
foot-long taco dogs.
581
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,438
Yep, this thing's filling
a foot-long hole in my heart.
582
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:17,882
Even though these are
the 10-inch long rejects.
583
00:20:18,109 --> 00:20:19,291
I should've negotiated.
We could, like,
584
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,368
own a roller coaster
right now.
585
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:23,462
I would take it,
like, everywhere.
586
00:20:23,614 --> 00:20:26,115
(groans) I blew it.
No three-quarters Wonka.
587
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:27,725
Not even a wee Wonk.
588
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:29,227
Louise, in your sort-of-selfish,
589
00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:31,470
sort-of-thoughtful,
mostly-selfish way,
590
00:20:31,622 --> 00:20:33,472
you did a really good thing
today.
591
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,624
That beach is gonna be clean
from now on.
592
00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:37,401
I mean, maybe not totally clean.
Mickey doesn't seem
593
00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:39,645
to be very good
at picking up trash.
594
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,314
Whoops. Whoops.
595
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,908
But maybe now
there won't be any more crabs
596
00:20:44,059 --> 00:20:45,225
like Saucy on the beach.
597
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,410
Saucy? You named it?
598
00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:48,471
Zeke did.
I think they're pen pals now.
599
00:20:48,473 --> 00:20:50,081
-Well, thanks, Tina.
-No problem.
600
00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:52,475
Hey, Gene, what happened
to your seagull stalker?
601
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:54,477
I think he forgot about me.
Too bad for him.
602
00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:56,737
I would've let him have
a little bit of dog.
603
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,980
(all gasping, clamoring)
604
00:20:57,999 --> 00:20:59,148
Drive! Drive!
605
00:20:59,283 --> 00:21:00,907
♪ Mustache ♪
606
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,760
♪ Mustache love ♪
607
00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:04,911
-♪ Got to have that love ♪
-♪ Got to have that ♪
608
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,989
-♪ Mustache ♪
-♪ Mustache love ♪
609
00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:08,657
♪ Mustache ♪
610
00:21:08,676 --> 00:21:10,843
-♪ Mustache love ♪
-♪ Mustache ♪
611
00:21:10,995 --> 00:21:12,937
♪ Got to have that love ♪
612
00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:14,438
♪ Mustache love ♪
613
00:21:14,665 --> 00:21:16,923
-♪ Wax our love ♪
-♪ Smooth ♪
614
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:19,018
-♪ Trim our love ♪
-♪ Trim it up ♪
615
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,927
♪ Twirl our love 'cause it's ♪
616
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,188
-♪ Mustache love ♪
-♪ Mustache love ♪
617
00:21:23,341 --> 00:21:24,857
-♪ Mustache ♪
-♪ Mustache ♪
618
00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:26,767
-♪ Mustache love ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
619
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:29,178
-♪ Got to have that love ♪
-♪ Got to have it ♪
620
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:30,604
-♪ Mustache love ♪
-♪ Mustache love, mustache. ♪
621
00:21:30,698 --> 00:21:32,364
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
622
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,458
and TOYOTA.