1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004 ♪ 2 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,756 Okay, looking good in your little brine bath, buddy. 3 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,358 And tomorrow, somebody's gonna be 4 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,927 the most delicious Thanksgiving turkey ever. 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,028 (high-pitched): "Is it me?" 6 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,430 Sure is, pal. 7 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,399 (bashful chuckle) 8 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,600 All right, I'll check in on you after we get back 9 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,001 from the turkey pardoning, 10 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,036 since our town is doing that now. 11 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,405 "Turkey pardoning?" 12 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:38,906 I know, right? So dumb. 13 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,275 Treating the turkey like it's a person. 14 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:43,611 "Yeah, idiots! Wait, but don't you..." 15 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,246 Shh, shh. No, no, no. Shh, shh, shh. 16 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,880 Ugh, I still can't believe we're wasting 17 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,450 our half day off school to go see a turkey pardoning. 18 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,051 That I do not pardon. 19 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,387 Yeah, the only Parton I need to see is Dolly. 20 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,356 Come on, it'll be fun. 21 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,525 We're gonna go to city hall. We're gonna see the mayor. 22 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,959 The mayor! 23 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,961 Why-why do you love the mayor so much? 24 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,563 What are you talking about? He's the mayor. 25 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,633 He wears those shirts, and he's always waving. 26 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,635 -Oh, he's got a great wave. -It is a good wave. 27 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,903 -He really gets into it. -It's like his whole body's waving. 28 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,905 He doesn't have any bones. He's like a fish. 29 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,241 -Fish have bones. -They do? 30 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,542 Uh, yeah. 31 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,043 I think the pardoning sounds nice. 32 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,545 Giving the turkey a second chance at life 33 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,912 after being locked up. 34 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,481 The turkey hasn't been to prison. 35 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:21,982 -What are you, his lawyer? -Ugh. 36 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,651 The live turkeys are the worst. 37 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:27,087 Those flesh-mangling beaks and those beady eyes? 38 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,922 Also, how can you trust an animal 39 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,824 with a head that's that bald and tiny? 40 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,092 I mean, we trust Dad. 41 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,661 -That's true. -Mm. 42 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,263 All right, people, let's go. 43 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,097 -We're losing daylight. -Cranberries! 44 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,499 -Language. -No, 45 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,834 I forgot cranberries for the cranberry sauce. 46 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,904 We-we got to go to the store after the thing and get them. 47 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:47,241 Or... we could just buy canned cranberry sauce this year. 48 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,843 Yeah. I love big cans. (growls) 49 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,645 What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know 50 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,080 you ate that sugary canned cranberry slop 51 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,482 at your grandmother's that one year, 52 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,317 'cause she doesn't care about anything. 53 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,819 -Watch it. -But we are not eating that junk in the house. 54 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,121 This is a fresh cranberry sauce house, damn it. 55 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,856 It's who we are! 56 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,958 I like the shape it makes when it comes out of the can. 57 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,960 -So help me, Tina. -Sorry. 58 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,296 LINDA: Ugh. They're an hour late. 59 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:10,631 And what's with the lousy turnout? 60 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,500 This is the mayor's first turkey pardoning. 61 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,035 -Where's the freaking support? -Maybe everyone came down 62 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,705 with a bad case of "I'd rather be anywhere else"? 63 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,373 -(chuckles) Nice. -(chuckles) 64 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:20,708 Stop it. No high-fiving. 65 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,042 Ooh! Here comes someone. 66 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,445 Hello, everyone. Uh, sorry for the delay. 67 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,680 I'm afraid there's been a change of plans. (chuckles) 68 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,116 The mayor had to... not be here. 69 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,851 He had a mayor emergency. 70 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,287 An e-mayor-gency. Uh... 71 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,123 What? An e-mayor-gency? No! 72 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,692 But, uh, what's almost as good as the mayor? 73 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,328 -LINDA: Nothing! -Okay. 74 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,895 -Linda, please stop. -You stop. 75 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,231 The deputy mayor. 76 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,566 So, may I present to you 77 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,167 Deputy Mayor Daniel Cunningham. 78 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,303 (chuckles) Hello. Thank you. 79 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,004 Hey, why don't we give 80 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,674 a big thanks to the person who organized this whole event? 81 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,075 Oh, right, it was me. 82 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,077 Yeah, the mayor delegated it all to me-- 83 00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,248 no big deal-- and he's sorry he couldn't be here today. 84 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,015 Though not as sorry as his toilet. 85 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,884 #StomachProblems. 86 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:07,054 How dare he hashtag my mayor's stomach problems. 87 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,723 Okay. Let's bring up the star of the show, 88 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,659 Drew P. Neck! 89 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,926 (gobbles) 90 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,395 -Ugh. -I think he's cute. 91 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,697 Go for it, sister. I don't see a ring. 92 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,099 And after lucky little Drew P. Neck here gets pardoned, 93 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,369 he's going to live out his days peacefully 94 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,605 at the Old McDonald Had a Sanctuary Sanctuary, 95 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:28,041 where the motto is "E-I-E-I Hope." 96 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,043 Okay, who wants to go stare at the broken fountain 97 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,612 -that's never worked? -Ooh, me. 98 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,213 We're having a good childhood. 99 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,948 Hey, cool press badge. 100 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,884 -Are you in the press? -Uh, yeah. 101 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,719 -I knew it. -So you actually have to report 102 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,854 -on this crap show? -I know, right? 103 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,457 Why can't I be covering a pre-Thanksgiving armed robbery? 104 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:45,459 Or maybe, like, one little stabbing. 105 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,561 If you give me your pen, I could stab you in the bottom. 106 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,397 That's very generous, but, no, thank you. 107 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,798 LOUISE: Well, we're doing it. 108 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,733 We're staring at the broken fountain. 109 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,568 (whistles) Does not disappoint. 110 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,404 WOMAN: Well, dum-dum Deputy Mayor Cunningham 111 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,972 just had the sanctuary idea yesterday, Mom. 112 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,974 And the one he picked can't take the turkey. 113 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,110 They're at capacity. I told you already. 114 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:06,146 What's going on here? Gene, Tina, let's drop some eaves. 115 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,215 Well, he told me to drive it to a... (whispers): slaughterhouse. 116 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,217 A slaughterhouse? That doesn't sound good. 117 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,587 Maybe she meant "cider house." That place rules. 118 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,889 I can't just let the turkey go. It's the most famous bird 119 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,991 in the county. It'll be recognized. 120 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,494 No, I'm not just gonna murder it and bury it in the woods. 121 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:21,795 Oh, my sister could do it? 122 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,263 Well, I'm not Lisa! 123 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,832 Look, I'll get home as soon as I can, 124 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,900 but now I have to drive a turkey to a slaughterhouse 125 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,270 because my career in politics is going really great! 126 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,072 So the sanctuary stuff is just a lie? 127 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,674 They're taking Drew P. Neck to a slaughterhouse? 128 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,609 This is, like, a serious scandal. 129 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,945 Eh, I wouldn't really call it a scandal. 130 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,112 It's scand-ish. 131 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,848 A Scand-ish-navian, if you will. 132 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,450 Oh, let's go tell the reporter guy! 133 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,084 Reporters love reporting stuff. 134 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,252 Uh, no. 135 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,687 What? What do you mean, no? 136 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,656 Yeah. I don't take tips from kids anymore. 137 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,158 Not since my niece told me about a homework burglar. 138 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,094 Turns out she's just a terrible student and person. 139 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,263 Now, if you'll excuse me, bye. 140 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,831 Aah! We got to help Drew P.! 141 00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:58,932 What are we gonna do? 142 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,934 Well, we could do nothing? 143 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,770 -Maybe try that? -Nothing sounds good. 144 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,605 No, we got to... save him. 145 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,340 Or we don't. 'Cause he's nasty. 146 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,342 Or we go on a full-on rescue mission. 147 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,277 Hmm. Rescue mission. 148 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,012 I kind of like the sound of that. 149 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,280 Yes. A turkey rescue mission. 150 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,815 I don't like the "turkey" part. 151 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,216 All right, just a rescue mission. 152 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,985 -Okay, fine, I'm in. -For a turkey. 153 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,388 I'm in, too. I promised Ken I'd help him move today, 154 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:23,657 but screw it. I don't know why I told him I have a Toyota Tacoma. 155 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,659 And so, Drew P. Neck, 156 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:29,062 I hereby pardon you from the Thanksgiving table. 157 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,632 Now, let's get you to that sanctuary, huh? 158 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,534 We don't have much time. Let's go tell Mom and Dad. 159 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,069 Or as I call them, Panache and The 'Stache. 160 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,838 Okay, I'll take a few questions. 161 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,540 You guys have all your little recorder thingies out? 162 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,174 Uh, you, in the pants. 163 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,744 Will there be a photo op at the sanctuary later today? 164 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,178 (whispers): That's a stupid question. 165 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,481 Uh, a photo? There? At the sanctuary? 166 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:50,050 I will have to check about that. 167 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,019 (imitates phone chime) Oh, I'm getting a text. 168 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,654 Ooh, from the government. 169 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,222 I've got to go, I'm sorry. Good-bye. 170 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,724 Bless you all. Bye-bye. 171 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,926 Hmm. Interesting. 172 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,594 That dirty deputy mayor! 173 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,563 You know, if the real mayor weren't out of his mind 174 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,165 with diarrhea right now, none of this would have happened. 175 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,934 So, can we save Drew P. Neck? 176 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,369 I don't know. This all sounds crazy. 177 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:13,073 I have an idea: we get justice by going to the store 178 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,374 and buying cranberries. 179 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,410 Bob, we got to save the turkey. 180 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,878 To protect the mayor's legacy. 181 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,346 We can't let them taint it. 182 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,048 GENE: Yeah, a mayor's taint is sacred. 183 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,282 Gene. 184 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,751 Look, guys, we don't even know 185 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,786 where Drew P. Neck is right now, so... 186 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,089 -Great. -Come on, Dad, please? 187 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,524 Do something with your life for once. 188 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,192 (sighs) Okay, fine. 189 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,727 -All right! -Hooray! -Yeah! 190 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,228 This is a terrible idea. 191 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,430 LOUISE: What? No. 192 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,265 Family turkey rescue? 193 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,267 Well, somebody better call Huey Lewis, 194 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,503 because I may have found myself some news. 195 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:50,210 -I got eyes on her. I got eyes on her! -She's right in front of us. 196 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,780 -Right. -So, I know no one cares what I think, 197 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,548 but I would just like to say, first of all, 198 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,116 I'm not convinced that you heard 199 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,651 what you thought you heard on that phone call. 200 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,787 This lady may be just driving the turkey 201 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,388 to that sanctuary right now. 202 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,223 I mean, you guys aren't the best listeners. 203 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,125 -You say something, Pop? -And second of all, 204 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,627 even if it is all true, 205 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,496 what, exactly, is our plan here, anyway? 206 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,598 Run this lady off the road, grab the turkey. 207 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,399 -You know, standard stuff. -(grunts) 208 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,167 And then we got to set Drew P. Neck free. 209 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,570 Somewhere peaceful, on a hill, with a turkey house 210 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,838 and a white picket turkey fence. 211 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,840 And water-efficient landscaping. 212 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,242 BOB: And we're getting on the highway. 213 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,311 By the way, you're all hypocrites. 214 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,946 You know we're gonna eat a turkey tomorrow, right? 215 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,347 Eat the hell out of it. 216 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,949 But, Dad, when we pardoned Drew P. Neck, 217 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,350 we promised him he'd live. 218 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,185 We have to keep our word. I mean, what, 219 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,787 we're gonna start lying to turkeys now? 220 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,155 You think that's pretty cool, Dad?! 221 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,824 ♪ We're keeping our word ♪ 222 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,526 ♪ We're saving the bird this year. ♪ 223 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,360 -BOB: Okay, I'm getting off. -LINDA: What? 224 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,830 -TINA: No, no, no, no, no... -LOUISE: Aw, come on! 225 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,832 We're going to the store to get cranberries. 226 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,867 Sometimes I get to do what I want to do. 227 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:50,003 -No, you don't, ever! -Pinch him, kids. 228 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,438 -(grunting) -BOB: Ow! Stop, I'm driving. 229 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,606 GENE: Let me at those nips. 230 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,508 All right, fine. 231 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,343 -(horn blaring) -Aah! 232 00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,447 -(tires screeching) -BOB: Oh, wonderful. 233 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,481 TINA: Dad, it's actually pretty dangerous 234 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,783 to stop your car here. 235 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,284 -BOB: I know that, Tina! -LOUISE: Wow. 236 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,153 Did that whole family give you the finger? 237 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,989 -Even the baby. -Aw, little finger. 238 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,624 LOUISE: Well, we lost her. 239 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,794 -Great work, Cranberry Cathy. -Oh, look, that's her car. 240 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,928 Pull in, Dad. 241 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,066 Well, now what? 242 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,669 I think our only option is to clock her over the head 243 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,838 with a potted plant or a tiny piano or something, 244 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,206 and then grab the turkey. 245 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,340 Maybe that could work. 246 00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,475 -Lin. -What? 247 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,810 Look, she's going inside. 248 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,478 GENE: Just like she always does. 249 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,747 If we had a brick, we could throw it through the car window. 250 00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,983 -No. -You're being very negative, Bob. 251 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,918 No one is breaking into anything. 252 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,820 We still don't even know if any of this 253 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,722 so-called conspiracy is even true. 254 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,591 Now, I'm gonna go into that little market 255 00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:46,426 and see if maybe, somehow, they have cranberries. 256 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,596 And then, when that lady gets back to her car, 257 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,063 we will talk to her. 258 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,999 So, repeat after me: "I'm not going to 259 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,533 break into that vehicle." 260 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,436 ALL: I'm not going to break into that vehicle. 261 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,071 I was hoping I would never have to 262 00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:01,174 force this family to say that, but here we are. 263 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,176 Cranberries? What do you want them for? 264 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,512 To make cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving. 265 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,347 Cranberry sauce comes in a can. 266 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,883 I mean, no, it comes from cranberries. 267 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,752 But you can get it in a can, yes, 268 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,754 if you're hollow inside and your heart is dead. 269 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,690 -Uh, we got raisins. -Thanks for the help. 270 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,926 WOMAN: Yes, I'll head over there after I take the turkey to the 271 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,227 (whispers): slaughterhouse. 272 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,962 Yes, I was just going to the bathroom. 273 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,463 I know I pee loud! 274 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,132 Oh, my God, she is taking Drew P. Neck 275 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,700 to the slaughterhouse. 276 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,736 Mm, don't know what you're saying now. 277 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,570 Never mind, I got to go. Bye. 278 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,039 Hey, what happened to the whole 279 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,741 not breaking into the vehicle thing? 280 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,108 We're not breaking in, Bob. 281 00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,777 Yeah, Dad, it's the sunroof rule. 282 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,647 "If it's open for sun, it's open for fun." 283 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,382 Oh, I can smell why she left it open. 284 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,818 -More like "turd" is the word. -(gobbles) 285 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,219 Oh, God, I-I guess we're doing this. 286 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,088 I guess we're saving this turkey. 287 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,024 Attaboy, Bobby, you're finally on the right side of history. 288 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,828 Okay, let's get out of here. 289 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,831 -(all gasp) -Wait, is that the reporter guy? 290 00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,599 Ta-da! It's Ralph. 291 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,135 I was in disguise as an off-duty baseball player. 292 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,471 -I almost hit you with my car. -You sure did. 293 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,473 Now, look, you kids were right about this scandal, 294 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,275 and now, I've got the deputy mayor's aide 295 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,609 talking about it on tape. 296 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,645 -So, I owe you an apology. -Mm-hmm. 297 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,913 -Oh, that's nice. -Yeah, you do. 298 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,181 And you owe me one 299 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,615 for not making me believe you. 300 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,250 So, yeah, that's on you. 301 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,252 Now, can I pop in there and ride along with you guys? 302 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,755 Get some quotes, be embedded right in the S-word? 303 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,123 -Okay. -No, absolutely not. 304 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,258 Yes. Come on, Bob, let him come. 305 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,594 Think of the headline. "Family Saves Pooping Mayor 306 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,429 "from Actions of Poopy Deputy Mayor, 307 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,498 Who is a Big Pile of Poops." Right, Ralph? 308 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,100 Huh, that's pretty good. Let me write that down. 309 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,301 (sighs) All right, fine. 310 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,669 Just get in, and let's go. 311 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,137 Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 312 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,006 What the... Ralph, what are you doing here? 313 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,640 Wait, is-is that the... 314 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,609 I'll tell you what I'm doing here, Marsha. 315 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,644 I'm exposing your scandalous lies. 316 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,613 And by the way, I got 'em all on tape. 317 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,948 Now, drive, Bob, drive! 318 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,316 Is the back door shut? 319 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,650 No, but it's fine. Go, Bob, go! 320 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,385 Can you just shut it, please? 321 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,154 I-I don't feel comfortable driving with it open. 322 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,222 Damn it, Bob! Drive! 323 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,824 TINA: Also, this is our turkey. 324 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,491 Yeah. James Van Der Beak. 325 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,560 We're just trying to get him back to his creek. 326 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:04,031 -Okay, everybody just wait. -RALPH: Drive! 327 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,299 ♪ 328 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,301 Oh, my God, she's coming after us! 329 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,704 She's gonna kill us. She's gonna kill us to cover this all up. 330 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,005 That's what I would do. 331 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,008 You got to lose her, Dad. 332 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,543 I'm trying. 333 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,012 Hold on, everybody! 334 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,615 -Oh, crap! -(screaming) 335 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,118 (gobbling) 336 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,856 Wow. Nice work back there, old man. 337 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,590 Yeah, Bobby. That was hot. 338 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,525 You're a regular Steve the Queen. 339 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,927 It's Steve McQueen. 340 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,363 -No, it's not. -(turkey gobbles) 341 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,565 You're welcome, you beady-eyed bastard. 342 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,734 But this is just a job to me, you hear? 343 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,736 -(gobbles) -Don't sass me. 344 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,438 (gasps) Look. That's where we should set Drew P. Neck free. 345 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,107 BOB: Uh, yeah. Let's do it. 346 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,743 This car is never gonna smell the same again. 347 00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,444 Eh, you'll get it back to middle-aged fart smell 348 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,213 -soon enough. -Mm-hmm. 349 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,049 Oh, God. So tired. So sweaty. 350 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,318 That's what we'll put on your tombstone. 351 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,956 Marsha! Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! 352 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,357 All right, you know what? 353 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,692 Why don't we just try talking to her? 354 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,694 Oh, yeah, sure. That's a good plan. 355 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,296 "Hey, I'm Bob. Can we talk? 356 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,131 "Why are you putting those black leather gloves on? 357 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,433 "Oh, you're choking me! You're choking me! 358 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,903 (choking): Get off me! I'm dead." 359 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,304 That could totally happen, Bob. 360 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,806 I'm pretty sure Marsha has gloves. 361 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,208 Okay, fine. Let's just go. 362 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,310 TINA: Here. This is perfect. 363 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,978 Oh, thank God. 364 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,615 -Bye, bye, birdie. -(panting) Stop! 365 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,617 -Don't do this! -Too late. 366 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,886 Today, Drew Patrick Neck is free as a bird. 367 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,221 Please don't strangle us. 368 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,089 -Huh? -(yipping) 369 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,158 What's that? 370 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,660 Uh, guys, I'm pretty sure that's coyotes. 371 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,363 -(Linda gasps) -Oh, my God. 372 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:46,934 (coyotes yipping) 373 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,769 Okay, so, that's not gonna 374 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,906 -be great for a turkey. -No, not really. 375 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,342 I guess it's in Mother Nature's cruel hands now. 376 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,844 Eh, Drew's fine. 377 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,645 If Wile E. Coyote taught us anything, 378 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,447 those rascals are blowing themselves up 379 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,082 with their own dynamite as we speak. 380 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,317 -We got to go find him. -Do we, though? 381 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,820 Is it still a rescue story if the rescuee is torn to shreds? 382 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,355 I feel like it isn't. 383 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,423 (sighs) Okay, let's just go find the turkey, 384 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,925 since that's what we do now. 385 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,093 Okay, let's go. 386 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,794 I mean, whatever. I'm breezy. 387 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,429 Wait! Don't! You, um, 388 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,698 you all dropped your wallets. Uh... 389 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,767 I just have to say that you, madam, 390 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,136 are not fit to wipe the mayor's sick bottom. 391 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,772 Not that getting some help with wiping is a bad thing. 392 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,441 And I still have your taped conversation, Marsha. 393 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,709 So, boom. 394 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,945 Ralph, you cannot run this story. 395 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,547 Oh, he's running the story, Marsha. 396 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,183 That's right. And there's not a single thing 397 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,717 you can do about it. 398 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,387 What about an exclusive interview with the mayor? 399 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,489 Well, that is something that you could do about it. 400 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,291 -I would like that. -What? Ralph, no. 401 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,659 How exclusive are we talking? Super exclusive? 402 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,561 Super duper exclusive. 403 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,164 -Oh, wow. -Ralph, if you run that story, 404 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,534 we will give you free burgers at our restaurant for a month. 405 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,669 And also a free hot French fry massage, 406 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,405 which is something I've been workshopping, 407 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,640 and it's going pretty well. 408 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,976 -Dad. -Yeah, Tina? 409 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,245 Have you ever fought a hungry pack of coyotes? 410 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,014 -Um... no. -Damn. 411 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,382 What are you even supposed to do when you see a coyote? 412 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,384 Uh, I don't know. I-I think you're supposed 413 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,820 to use your body to scare it, maybe. 414 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,422 You should probably take off your shirt, then, 415 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,756 and really freak him out. 416 00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,158 -Louise. -What? 417 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,559 (whispering): Look. Coyotes. 418 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,062 (Tina gasps) 419 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,496 Dad, go save him. 420 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,865 Yeah. Um... here I... here I go. 421 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,734 Okay. Go ahead. 422 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:28,735 Yep. I'm going. 423 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,603 Dad, you're not moving. 424 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,373 Am, uh, am I not? That's weird, I thought my legs were moving. 425 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,175 -Would it helped if I pushed you? -I-I don't... 426 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,443 -I don't think so, Tina. -(grunting) 427 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,677 Uh, Tina, stop. Don't push me. 428 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,412 Guys, he's just a dumb turkey. 429 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:42,515 He's not worth getting maimed or coyote-uglied over. 430 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,084 This is the law of the woods. 431 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,186 I mean, coyotes have to eat too... 432 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,188 Oh, my God! What am I saying? Get the hell away 433 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,757 from Drew P. Neck, you sons of bitches! 434 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,059 -(screaming) -No, Louise! 435 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,094 (panting) Whoa. Louise. 436 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,628 (panting) 437 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,864 I-I guess you got that one. 438 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,599 -(panting) -Uh, I'll get the next turkey 439 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,401 that's being attacked by coyotes. 440 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,036 -Sure. -But that was good, though. 441 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,772 It was actually what... exactly what I was gonna do. 442 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,407 MARSHA: Great. You found him. 443 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,243 That's-that's what we wanted. (chuckles) 444 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,145 So, uh, Ralph, uh, super duper 445 00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:13,880 exclusive interview with the mayor? 446 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,782 -Be strong, Ralph. -Sorry, Marsha. 447 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,284 -No deal. -Yes! 448 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,918 A "turkey pardon cover-up," 449 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,888 plus "little girl saves turkey from a pack of coyotes"? 450 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,923 That's what we call in the journalism biz 451 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,993 a "Scoop There It Is." 452 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,394 Plus this lady right here offered me a month 453 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,296 -of free burgers, so... -Excuse me? 454 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,164 -Bob, shush, shush, shush. -MARSHA: Well, great. 455 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,966 This cover-up is going just great. 456 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,068 Oh, I'm a terrible cover-upper. 457 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,503 Aw. No. 458 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,139 -No, I am. I am. -I mean, yeah. 459 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,607 So, I have a question. 460 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,142 What are we gonna do with this turkey now? 461 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,644 Actually, I have an idea. 462 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,783 It's me. Marsha. From work. 463 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,486 BOB: Is this it? 464 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,855 Wait a second. Is that a two-butted goat? 465 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:59,759 -LOUISE: Sure is. -GENE: A butt so nice, he has one twice. 466 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,695 -(screaming) -I really don't like when people do that. 467 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,431 LOUISE: Deputy Mayor Cunningham? 468 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,999 Okay, now we're gonna get murdered. 469 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,837 Oh, my God. Okay, okay. 470 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,472 Everybody, uh, just play dead 471 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,175 and maybe he'll go away. Like this. (groans) 472 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,510 Um, hello? Deputy Mayor Cunningham here. 473 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,546 Just want to say, not gonna murder you, 474 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,514 'cause... not in this suit. (laughs) 475 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,616 Uh, h-how did you know we were coming here? 476 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,717 Hi. 477 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,519 Marsha! You told him. 478 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,321 But how did you know we were coming here? 479 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:29,956 'Cause you talked about it right in front of me. 480 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,324 Oh, yeah. We did. 481 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,859 You told us how to get to route five. 482 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,661 -Yeah. -Thanks again. Good directions. 483 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,296 -You're welcome. -TINA: Don't try to stop us, 484 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,165 Deputy Mayor Man. We're giving Drew P. Neck 485 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,966 to this farm to live out his days peacefully. 486 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,801 Yeah. He's gonna live with Double Butt. 487 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,836 It's gonna be like that show Three's Company, 488 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,472 -but with butts. -Oh, I'm falling. 489 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,074 Sorry, but the farmer's not home. 490 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,308 He must be out night-farming. 491 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,809 -Crap. -Damn it. -Nice. 492 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,311 It's over, Cunningham. 493 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,646 I'm turning in my story, and you are about to be 494 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,748 the deputy mayor of your mom's house. 495 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,750 Ooh. So sorry, Ralph. 496 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,719 You see, you recorded a private conversation 497 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,388 without Marsha's permission. 498 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,923 So unless you want to get sued, you're gonna need that. 499 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,392 Damn it. I do hate getting sued. 500 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:06,993 Yeah. It's not fun. 501 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,528 So how about I just take that turkey off your hands? 502 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:09,729 -No. -(grunting) 503 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:10,930 Pinch posse, attack! 504 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,499 -(grunting) -Ow. 505 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,700 -Kids, stop it. -Get him! 506 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,568 -That is my nipple. -GENE: Just a few more hours 507 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,003 of this and you'll be dead. 508 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,572 Now. Good evening, everyone. 509 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,041 And may God bless America. 510 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,376 Marsha, skedaddle. Go, go, go. 511 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,212 Wait, Marsha. Stop. 512 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:28,415 Look, today has been awful for many reasons. 513 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,050 We could've had a great afternoon buying cranberries, 514 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,553 but instead we did this. 515 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,855 And the worst part of it is, I really don't want 516 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,857 my kids to think this is how the world works. 517 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,692 That people don't keep their word. 518 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,628 Even if it is to turkeys. 519 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,696 So please, do the right thing. 520 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,732 Also, your job seems horrible. 521 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,267 I'm just saying, I'm not judging. 522 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:51,037 Well, too bad Marsha doesn't give a rip. 523 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,273 Mom, I'll be there in a few hours. 524 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,142 And by the way, I'm quitting. 525 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,277 -All right. -Yes. -Yeah, Marsha! 526 00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,380 -But, but... -Oh, uh, she wants to talk to you? 527 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,415 I don't want to... (sighs) Hello? 528 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:06,085 Hey, now. Okay, there's no need for that kind of langua... 529 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,754 I will not go to hell. 530 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,656 I am going to heaven. Good day. 531 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,091 What's going on? What'd I miss? 532 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,961 I got lost in the damn corn maze again. 533 00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,564 Oh! Hey, kids. I remember you. 534 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,967 Hello, Mr. Farmer. We'd like to present you with this turkey. 535 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,603 Oh, to eat? Thanks. Okay, bye. 536 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,638 Oh, no. We were thinking you could, like, 537 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,275 raise it as your pet, or your child. 538 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,109 Yeah, we know he only has one butt, 539 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,944 but maybe you can make an exception? 540 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,314 Oh, uh... Yeah. Sure. 541 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,583 Um, to be clear... you're not gonna eat him, right? 542 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,985 'Cause we went to a lot of trouble and... 543 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,120 Yeah, yeah. Got it. I won't eat him. Sheesh. 544 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,755 So can we go home now? 545 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,991 Ugh. You love going home. 546 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,494 I call way back. I'm gonna start typing out my story on my phone. 547 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,028 Hey, Bob. Can you do me a favor 548 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,497 and just drive a little bit better this time? 549 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,332 What? We were in a high-speed chase. 550 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:53,800 Yeah, I know. There's just a lot 551 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,202 of zigging and zagging all over the place. 552 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,636 If you could just smooth it out for me. 553 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,004 -(groans) -Hey. Ralph. 554 00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,806 How do you now they'll print it? 555 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,375 What's that? My story? Well, they have a printer, so... 556 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,645 Yeah, yeah. But how do you know they'll print it? 557 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,280 I think he's trying to say, Ralph, 558 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,216 that he has some way of killing your story. 559 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,950 Um, that's what I'm picking up. 560 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,386 No, I think he's just interested in the printing process. 561 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:17,490 No, you... Let me put it this way: I am the deputy mayor. 562 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:20,660 When I say "kill a story," they say, "how high?" 563 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:23,230 This story is officially 564 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,032 D-E-A... 565 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,867 -Oh, they printed it. -Huh. I guess Cunningham 566 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,069 doesn't have as much pull at the paper as he thought he did. 567 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,405 Yeah, he's not the mayor. He's the deputy. 568 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,241 They even let dogs be deputies. 569 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,743 This is so exciting. I mean, it's on page 11 570 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,078 and Ralph spelled our name "Blecher," but still. 571 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,548 I've never figured out how the heck it's spelled. 572 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,182 We did good. Thanksgiving? 573 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:46,185 More like You're Welcome-ivigiving. 574 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,654 Dad, this cranberry sauce looks great. 575 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,656 I don't even miss the can shape, much. 576 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,991 I just can't believe that farmer had a cranberry bog. 577 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,926 And he let me in that cranberry bog. 578 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,095 But I mean, I played it pretty cool. 579 00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:59,866 They're so fresh! They're so fresh! 580 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,768 Okay, okay. Chill out. 581 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:05,605 All right. Time for one of my famous Thanksgiving speeches. 582 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,440 Hold on. I wrote something down this year. 583 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,208 Uh, "You know, when I was growing up..." 584 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,843 -Dad. Uh, Dad? -Huh? 585 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,246 -Yeah. -I'd like the floor, if I may. 586 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,548 -Um, uh, just... uh, yeah. -You're done, right? 587 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:16,949 -Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. -Okay, great. 588 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,851 I was just gonna put this away. Yeah. 589 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,421 I used to think turkeys were nasty and horrible. 590 00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,256 But then I-I met someone 591 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,725 that taught me that maybe they're not so bad. 592 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,727 -Was that someone me? Oh. -No. 593 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,129 It was Drew P. Neck. And so, on behalf of him, 594 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:33,032 I'd like to pardon this turkey right now. 595 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,767 Aw, that's so sweet. 596 00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,903 -I know. -Um, it's already dead. 597 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,405 -Quiet, Bob. -Sorry. 598 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,206 Okay, everybody, let's dig in. 599 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,241 I'm gonna pardon that fool right into my mouth. 600 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,411 It's just not how pardoning works. 601 00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,314 Pardon me while I pardon gravy all up in this mamma-jamma. 602 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,248 And get a little onto my knees, 603 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,584 and a little bit all over my neck. 604 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,286 -BOB: Stop, Gene. -LINDA: And I'm gonna pardon 605 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,121 the cork right out of this Pardonnay. 606 00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,390 BOB: Okay, well, words have meaning, but whatever. 607 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,825 Let's eat. 608 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,460 LINDA: ♪ We're keeping our word ♪ 609 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,929 ♪ We're saving the bird this year ♪ 610 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,764 ♪ Gonna keep our word, gonna save the bird ♪ 611 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,098 ♪ That's what you heard ♪ 612 00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,767 ♪ We're keeping our word ♪ 613 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,303 ♪ We're saving the bird this year ♪ 614 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,238 ♪ Gonna keep our word, gonna save the bird ♪ 615 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,073 ♪ That's what you heard ♪ 616 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,744 ♪ Don't you taint my mayor ♪ 617 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,947 ♪ Don't you taint my mayor ♪ 618 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,349 ♪ Let him fly ♪ 619 00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,351 ♪ We're saving the bird this year ♪ 620 00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,785 ♪ Gonna keep our word, gonna save the bird ♪ 621 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,854 ♪ That's what you heard ♪ 622 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:31,924 ♪ We're keeping our word, we're saving the bird this year... ♪ 623 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,893 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH