1
00:00:21,716 --> 00:00:23,501
YOUNG BOB [falsetto]: Hey, Bob.
Thanks for cooking me.

2
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,807
You're pretty good with
that spatula; how old are you?

3
00:00:25,981 --> 00:00:27,375
[normal voice]:
14.

4
00:00:27,548 --> 00:00:29,158
[falsetto]: Oh, wow,
you're like a prodigy.

5
00:00:29,332 --> 00:00:30,856
[normal voice]: Yeah,
I'm pretty good, I guess.

6
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,468
[falsetto, laughing]:
That tickles, I like it.

7
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:34,773
Here you go, Henry.What's this?

8
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,470
I ordered the usual.

9
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:37,820
Well, well, since Pop's
getting his prostate checked,

10
00:00:37,993 --> 00:00:39,213
and I'm manning the grill,

11
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:42,171
I thought, why not try
the unusual?

12
00:00:42,345 --> 00:00:44,261
Ooh.Henry, I present to you

13
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,829
Baby You Can Chive
My Car Burger.

14
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:49,832
Sour cream, chives, and little
fried pickle wheels on the sides

15
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,354
that make it look like a car.

16
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,747
Vroom, vroom!

17
00:00:52,921 --> 00:00:54,228
You know he's a
grown man, right?

18
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,055
Someone's having fun
at work today.

19
00:00:56,229 --> 00:00:58,841
Yep, a lot. I came up with
a bunch of ideas for specials.

20
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,929
The Crispy Brinkley Burger,
the Richard Per-Simmons Burger,

21
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,844
the Greed is Gouda Burger...

22
00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:04,802
Easy, easy, whew.
Okay, okay.
PETE: Whoa,
whoa, whoa.

23
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,239
Sorry, I got excited.

24
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:08,024
I-I'm just passionate.[door opens]

25
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,807
So that's what
a prostate exam is.

26
00:01:09,981 --> 00:01:11,070
[shudders]

27
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,549
Did you guys
know what it was?

28
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,204
I think it's more fun
if it's a surprise.

29
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,989
Hey, Big Bob,
look what Little Bob made.

30
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,643
Junior, what is this?

31
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:21,168
It's a Baby You Can
Chive My Car Burger.

32
00:01:21,341 --> 00:01:22,864
A what you can
what my what burger?

33
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,692
Henry, did you order this?
What'd you order?

34
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,521
The usual, but this looks okay.

35
00:01:26,694 --> 00:01:27,825
I-I like cars.

36
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,132
Try it, Henry,
y-you might like it.

37
00:01:29,305 --> 00:01:30,915
Don't tell him
what to eat, Junior.

38
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,656
He didn't order that, he's
a tuna melt man-- look at him.

39
00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:34,703
I-I'll take a bite.
I'll eat the wheel.

40
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,704
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
it's my burger-car. Get off.

41
00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:38,533
It's nobody's burger-car.

42
00:01:38,706 --> 00:01:40,186
We'll make you a tuna melt.

43
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,753
Just everybody shush!

44
00:01:41,926 --> 00:01:44,015
That's the last time I
get my prostate checked.

45
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,757
LINDA:
Wrap it up, Teddy.

46
00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:47,411
We got to close up.

47
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:48,673
We're going to Big Bob's
Christmas Eve party.

48
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,066
Ugh, Teddy, eat slower.

49
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,243
Actually,
that's too slow.

50
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:55,766
Dear Lord Santa,
this year,

51
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,639
please bless me
with a calendar of

52
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,858
Australian firefighters holding
puppies in casual settings.

53
00:02:00,031 --> 00:02:01,686
And bless me
with a perm.

54
00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:04,079
You only live once; why not
have a little fun up top?

55
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,256
And, Santa, bless me with
an internship at your company.

56
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,084
Preferably something
in the flying animal

57
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,129
or breaking and entering
department, thank you.

58
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,566
Kids, I know it's
Christmas Eve,

59
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,088
but I don't think
you pray to Santa.

60
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,742
Lord Santa, strike him down!

61
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,179
Ooh, that reminds me.

62
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,485
I'm supposed to go
to midnight mass tonight.

63
00:02:17,658 --> 00:02:18,573
Either that
or midnight basketball.

64
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:19,704
I've got my shorts in the truck.

65
00:02:19,877 --> 00:02:20,792
What do you think I should do?

66
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,706
Combine them-- mass-ketball!

67
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,274
All right, let's go.

68
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,884
Big Bob's Christmas party,
here we come.

69
00:02:26,057 --> 00:02:27,799
I don't want to go.

70
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,844
Plus, is it a party if my dad
just works the whole time

71
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,324
and charges people?

72
00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:33,064
Isn't that just
being a restaurant?

73
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,241
It's Christmas, he invites us
every year, we're going.

74
00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,112
But we just went
two years ago.

75
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:39,332
That was
seven years ago.
You sure?

76
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:41,551
I remember. I was
still breast-feeding.

77
00:02:41,725 --> 00:02:43,466
No, you weren't.Not with you.

78
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,252
Fine, we'll go, but we're
sticking to the 15-minute rule.

79
00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:47,427
What?
What are you talking about?

80
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:48,733
It-It's that
I can only be

81
00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:50,473
around my dad
for 15 minutes.

82
00:02:50,647 --> 00:02:52,650
Then I have to leave before
I completely lose it.

83
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,260
Well, good luck.[timer dings]

84
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:55,478
I give it three months.

85
00:02:55,652 --> 00:02:56,567
I'm gonna go inside.

86
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:58,002
[timer dings]

87
00:02:58,177 --> 00:02:59,918
You're a lot fatter
than I was at your age.

88
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:00,876
Gotta go.

89
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,224
Aw, cute kid.

90
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,747
[kissing]

91
00:03:03,921 --> 00:03:05,097
[timer dings]So you named
him Gene, huh?

92
00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:06,229
Is it too late
to change that?

93
00:03:06,402 --> 00:03:07,490
I'm gonna leave now.

94
00:03:07,664 --> 00:03:09,318
But this is your house.That's okay.

95
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:11,930
Yep, so now Dad only sees
Grandpa in 15-minute intervals.

96
00:03:12,103 --> 00:03:13,931
It's like speed dating
but with your dad.

97
00:03:14,105 --> 00:03:15,933
Hey, father issues--
we all got 'em.

98
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,066
I've got
mother issues, too.

99
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,502
I've even got cousin issues.

100
00:03:18,675 --> 00:03:19,807
Beautiful blonde cousin issues.

101
00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:21,461
Aw...
Ew.
What?

102
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,332
Oh, forget
your 15-minute rule.

103
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:26,248
Tonight's the night you and your
dad finally patch everything up.

104
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:29,295
Because of
♪ Christmas magic ♪

105
00:03:29,469 --> 00:03:30,992
♪ Christmas magic ♪

106
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,516
♪ This time of year ♪Okay, stop, stop.

107
00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:35,475
TEDDY: ♪ This time of year ♪Stop, stop, Teddy.

108
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,781
♪ And all the cold
hungry people ♪

109
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,783
♪ All those cold
hungry people ♪

110
00:03:39,957 --> 00:03:42,787
♪ They're dying
in the streets ♪

111
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,527
♪ They're dying
in the streets ♪

112
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:47,182
♪ Me and my family
will be warm tonight. ♪

113
00:03:47,356 --> 00:03:48,836
Okay, Lin.

114
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:52,057
Anyway, the rest of us
get along great with Pop Pop.

115
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,320
I enjoy his opinions on
what's ruining America.

116
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,973
You know what
you should do?

117
00:03:56,147 --> 00:03:57,975
You should
ask him for $5.

118
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,848
He'll give it
to you-- in cash.

119
00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:01,283
Okay, fine, fine.

120
00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:02,719
We're... w-we'll
go to Grandpa's.

121
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,373
But we're only going
for 15 minutes.

122
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,723
Teddy, have fun at church.
Or basketball.

123
00:04:06,897 --> 00:04:08,335
Either way, I'm wearing shorts.

124
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,555
♪ Fa-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ♪

125
00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,514
♪ Oh, it's Christmastime
again... ♪

126
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,384
[quietly]: Guys, guys, did you
get presents for Mom and Dad?

127
00:04:15,558 --> 00:04:17,387
I got Mom that hip-hop
yoga video she wanted.

128
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,519
I went in on it.

129
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,997
Tina, how much
do I owe you?

130
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,391
Just kidding,
it's on you.

131
00:04:21,564 --> 00:04:22,870
Great, that'll be
from all of us.

132
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,220
So what did we get Dad, Tina?

133
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:25,829
[gasps]
I didn't get him anything.

134
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,223
Oh, way to go, T.

135
00:04:27,396 --> 00:04:28,658
Gene and I are
pulling our weight.

136
00:04:28,832 --> 00:04:30,052
Yeah, Tina.

137
00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:31,793
Sorry, it's just been
a crazy season.

138
00:04:31,966 --> 00:04:34,230
Well, we can't put "sorry"
under the tree, can we?

139
00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:36,187
We'll just give him
whatever's in my pocket.

140
00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:38,713
A chocolate-covered raisin.

141
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,018
Scratch that. A raisin.

142
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,889
Crap, this happens
every year.

143
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:44,021
Well, we're gonna have to
make him a gift at Grandpa's.

144
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,023
Mm.

145
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,415
There it is.

146
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,069
Our restaurant's dad.

147
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,029
Hey, look who's here.

148
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,336
Hey, Pete.

149
00:04:53,509 --> 00:04:54,336
Merry Christmas,
Bob and family.

150
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,207
Merry Christmas, Pete!

151
00:04:56,382 --> 00:04:58,862
You haven't been here in so
long, I grew a big white beard.

152
00:04:59,036 --> 00:05:00,603
Just kidding, it's
a Santa beard.

153
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:01,735
This is my real beard.

154
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:02,779
Keep going!

155
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,173
Russian nesting beards!

156
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,565
How's your bar?

157
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,915
Pete owns the bar
next door, remember?

158
00:05:07,088 --> 00:05:08,612
Is it still gay,
still going strong?

159
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,918
Stronger and gayer than ever.
That's our motto.

160
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,269
♪ Stronger and gayer
than ever! ♪

161
00:05:13,442 --> 00:05:14,836
I just wrote
a jingle for you.

162
00:05:15,009 --> 00:05:15,966
Hmm.
Ha!

163
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,098
She's pretty
"singy" tonight.

164
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,230
♪ Yeah. ♪

165
00:05:18,404 --> 00:05:19,709
Hey, Big Bob's
in the back,

166
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,103
and I think it's
hug o'clock.

167
00:05:21,276 --> 00:05:22,973
Huh, kids?I get it.

168
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,411
We're coming for
you, Pop Pop.

169
00:05:24,584 --> 00:05:26,237
Here you go.

170
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,283
Merry Christmas, Big Bob.

171
00:05:27,456 --> 00:05:28,632
Linda, kids.

172
00:05:28,805 --> 00:05:30,417
Boy, you get smaller
every year.

173
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,201
When do I stop
calling you Big Bob

174
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,985
and start calling you
Old Wrinkly Shriveled-Up Bob?

175
00:05:34,158 --> 00:05:35,247
Ha!
All right,
all right.

176
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,466
Sorry.

177
00:05:36,639 --> 00:05:37,728
And how are my
grandkids doing?

178
00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,207
I got problems,

179
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:40,862
but nothing
five dollars wouldn't fix.

180
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,428
[clears throat]

181
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,387
Grandpa, you don't look
a day over grandpa age.

182
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,084
You're a doll, Tina.Thank you.

183
00:05:46,257 --> 00:05:47,389
Hey, look what
I got here.

184
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,478
Who's your
favorite president?

185
00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:49,870
Bill Pullman!

186
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:51,567
"Today we fight
for our independence!"

187
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,091
Here you go.
Oh.

188
00:05:53,264 --> 00:05:54,266
Merry Christmas.

189
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,007
Thanks, Gramps.
Hey, listen.

190
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,792
We have an arts
and crafts emergency.

191
00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,098
We need glue, we need paper,
we need pasta.

192
00:06:00,271 --> 00:06:01,577
We need it,
like, yesterday.

193
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,362
How many sizes
of googly-eyes do you have?

194
00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:05,103
I don't really
have any of that.

195
00:06:05,276 --> 00:06:07,410
But I've got a bunch of
crap down in the basement

196
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,324
if you kids want
to take a look.

197
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,935
One man's trash is another man's
present for their father.

198
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,459
Hey, Junior.
How are things?

199
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,461
Eh, my prep guy's
gone tonight.

200
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,158
Went to the hospital 'cause
his daughter's having a baby.

201
00:06:17,332 --> 00:06:18,812
People can be pretty
selfish, I guess.

202
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:19,814
[scoffs]
Jerk baby.

203
00:06:19,987 --> 00:06:20,814
Linda.

204
00:06:20,988 --> 00:06:22,033
Uh, h-hold on here.

205
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:23,600
Bobby, this is
going well.

206
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,341
Yeah, check back with me
in 14-and-a-half minutes.

207
00:06:25,514 --> 00:06:26,646
[whispering]:
Christmas magic.

208
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,170
Stop saying that.No, I don't want to.

209
00:06:28,343 --> 00:06:29,997
You sure look slammed
tonight, Big Bob.

210
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,651
Seems like you
could use a hand.

211
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,870
If only there was
someone here...
Lin, no.

212
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,134
who knew their way
around the kitchen...
Stop.

213
00:06:36,307 --> 00:06:37,658
they knew the menu...

214
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,528
Lin, no.where to get the cheese...

215
00:06:39,702 --> 00:06:41,009
No.
knew where that goes.

216
00:06:41,182 --> 00:06:42,531
Stop.
They knew their
way around.

217
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,098
Stop it.
Like the back
of their hand.

218
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,579
Like they were
raised here.No, no. I-I don't.

219
00:06:45,752 --> 00:06:46,667
Yeah, I doubt he'd...Bob could help cook.

220
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,146
No, I-I don't...
Ah?

221
00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:49,670
I'll get trapped in there--
15-minute rule.

222
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,019
It's your father...
Stop it.

223
00:06:51,192 --> 00:06:52,106
It's your father.
Shut up.

224
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,281
All right!

225
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,370
You two bond, have fun!

226
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:00,810
BIG BOB:
Okay, this is it.

227
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,029
I'm gonna give Little Bob
his Christmas gift.

228
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:03,423
Everybody ready?

229
00:07:03,596 --> 00:07:06,338
Bob Junior!Wh-What's going on?

230
00:07:06,512 --> 00:07:09,079
Bobby, you've been working here
your whole life.

231
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:11,213
And I'm sure you've been
waiting for this day.

232
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,127
W-What are you doing?

233
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,608
From this point forward,

234
00:07:14,781 --> 00:07:17,348
Big Bob's Diner will
officially be called...

235
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,350
Oh, Dad, don't.

236
00:07:18,524 --> 00:07:20,351
...Bob and Son's.

237
00:07:20,526 --> 00:07:21,875
All right!

238
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,529
Yeah![cheering]

239
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,096
The new menus.

240
00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:27,447
And... Okay, that's gonna
say "Son's."

241
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,057
It's not done yet,
but it's great, huh?

242
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,406
My cousin's painting
it. He's slow,

243
00:07:30,579 --> 00:07:32,016
he can only do about
a letter a day,

244
00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:34,062
but he can spell like
a son of a bitch.

245
00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:35,584
Like a son of a bitch.

246
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,543
Come here, partner.

247
00:07:36,716 --> 00:07:37,543
Uh...

248
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,848
[mocking]:
Uh, uh...

249
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,981
Come on, want to be
partners, or what?

250
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,245
No?

251
00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:44,855
[gasps]You're welcome.

252
00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:46,901
I think...
Wait, what'd you just say?

253
00:07:47,074 --> 00:07:48,206
I said no.

254
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:49,730
I could never be
partners with you.

255
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,165
You're impossible to work with.

256
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,949
What?
Oh, boy.
Easy, Little Bob.

257
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,386
I want to
change the menu,

258
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,518
a-and you never want
to change the menu.

259
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,737
And you're so critical.

260
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,391
I can't even lift a
spatula without you saying

261
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,567
I'm doing it wrong.

262
00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:01,742
'Cause you're
doing it wrong!

263
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,394
L-Let's let the spatula decide.

264
00:08:03,569 --> 00:08:06,267
You both call it,
a-and we'll see who it goes to.

265
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,225
I want to express myself
in the kitchen!

266
00:08:08,399 --> 00:08:10,925
And when I say that,
he makes this weird sound!

267
00:08:11,098 --> 00:08:12,752
[sighing scoff]That sound!

268
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:13,754
What is that?!

269
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:14,928
You're gonna do this?

270
00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:16,408
Right now?
In front of everybody?

271
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:17,800
You know what? Get out!

272
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,759
Take your jokey
burger specials and go!

273
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,805
Fine! You just gave me

274
00:08:21,978 --> 00:08:23,240
a new burger idea.

275
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,591
The I'm Sproutta Here Burger.

276
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,158
Comes with sprouts.

277
00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:29,160
Ah, not that but
something else.

278
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,598
[sighing scoff]I thought of a better one!

279
00:08:31,771 --> 00:08:33,294
The I'd Be Cheddar Off

280
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,950
Literally Anywhere
But Here Burger!

281
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:38,518
Comes with aged cheddar...
forget it!

282
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,606
Forget it!
Merry freaking Christmas!

283
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:43,479
Merry Christmas,
Little Bob!

284
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,220
Lin, this was
not the plan.

285
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,744
Me cooking with my father at
the party was not the plan.

286
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,572
We are radically
off plan.

287
00:08:49,745 --> 00:08:50,921
Bob, calm down.
Listen to me.

288
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,662
This is a great opportunity
for you two

289
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,924
to turn your bad blood
to glad blood.

290
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,144
Here, Bob, have some
Christmas magic, huh?

291
00:08:57,318 --> 00:08:59,321
Wait, Christmas
magic is wine?

292
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,149
It's whatever you want it to be.

293
00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:04,673
It can be snow or Santa or beer
or gin or rum or schnapps.

294
00:09:04,847 --> 00:09:06,937
I-I get it. Listen, I've been
with him for five minutes,

295
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:08,460
so I'm setting this timer
for ten minutes,

296
00:09:08,634 --> 00:09:09,984
and then I'm leaving.

297
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,288
Well, I'm setting
this timer to forever.

298
00:09:11,462 --> 00:09:12,942
'Cause that's how long

299
00:09:13,116 --> 00:09:14,596
you and your father are
gonna love each other.

300
00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:16,206
Talking about your heart,
Bob, not your nipple.

301
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:18,166
All right, pastrami
with mustard, table three.

302
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,341
Uh, w-where's the club sandwich
for table two?

303
00:09:20,515 --> 00:09:21,429
Right here, Dad.

304
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:22,822
I got a great idea, Big Bob.

305
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,650
How about I run the food,
that way

306
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,477
you can stay in the kitchen
and cook with Little Bob.

307
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,220
No, no, I-I think Big Bob is
fine running the food. That's...

308
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,308
Look out, table two, here
comes Linda with your club!

309
00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:32,484
[Bob sighs]

310
00:09:32,658 --> 00:09:33,659
Wait, where's table two?

311
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:34,661
You order a club?

312
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:35,966
Club? Club?

313
00:09:36,139 --> 00:09:37,533
Present for Dad,

314
00:09:37,706 --> 00:09:39,274
present for Dad,
present for Dad.

315
00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:41,275
Ooh, cans of beans!

316
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,842
[imitating drums]

317
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,845
Dad loves to drum
on beans, right?

318
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,020
What about this chair?
Dad sits sometimes.

319
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,893
Ugh, boring.
He'll sit when he's dead, Tina.

320
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,374
What if we glue all these
mousetraps together,

321
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,071
and call it a super trap?

322
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,203
[gasps] What if I make
my chair a super chair? Like,

323
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,859
if I tape this pad of paper
to it, then he could journal.

324
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,643
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

325
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,731
Is this a little friendly
competition we have here?

326
00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:04,691
A little Christmas competition?

327
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,345
Whoever gives Dad
the best present, wins a...

328
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:08,999
A Mistle-Tony!

329
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:11,567
Yes! The most coveted
award in gift-giving!

330
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:12,960
Dibs on bringing Mom
to the ceremony!

331
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:14,351
Dibs on bringing Dad.Dibs on bringing Dad.

332
00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:15,484
Nope, too late.

333
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:16,572
So, who you bringing, Tina?

334
00:10:16,745 --> 00:10:17,528
I don't know now.

335
00:10:17,703 --> 00:10:18,835
Yeah.

336
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:22,056
So, uh, th-the grill
seems good.

337
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,491
It's getting
to be an antique.

338
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:24,927
Yeah, we all
are, you know?
[chuckles]

339
00:10:25,101 --> 00:10:25,928
Yeah.

340
00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:27,278
It-It's a new hood?

341
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:29,192
Five years ago.
Good hood?

342
00:10:29,366 --> 00:10:30,977
Yeah, pretty good.
Pretty good hood.

343
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,067
Yeah, I-I got a
good hood, too.Ah, that's good.

344
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,417
You always said you
need a good hood.I never said that.

345
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,027
I thought you said
that. I... that's...

346
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:38,725
No one in the history of
time has ever said that.

347
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,290
"All you need
is a good hood."I swear I remember

348
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,857
you saying that all
you need is a good...

349
00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:43,380
That wasn't me.
It was someone else.

350
00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:44,860
I don't know why anyone
else would say that.

351
00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:46,732
[ticking]

352
00:10:48,908 --> 00:10:50,213
Dad's chair is almost done.

353
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,955
He'll never have
to stand up again.

354
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,913
Dad's thirsty;
he's got a water bottle.

355
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,263
He's cold; box of matches.

356
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,524
Now he's bored. Not anymore.

357
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,831
Here's a basketball.

358
00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,092
And then I can
use this dish towel

359
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,398
to wipe the floor with you.

360
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,269
Because I just won
the Mistle-Tony.

361
00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:04,402
Um, when you see this trap,
you're gonna want to shut yours.

362
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:05,926
Period. End of burn.

363
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,667
How's your present going,
Little Drummer Gene?

364
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,798
Beans, beans,
the tragical fruit?

365
00:11:09,972 --> 00:11:11,671
The more you drum it,
the more you lose?

366
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,149
The contest?
That we're in right now?

367
00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:15,283
Mm-hmm.
Like the saying,
about the beans,

368
00:11:15,456 --> 00:11:16,676
but with, uh,
different words.

369
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,328
Well, I was gonna
empty out these cans

370
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:19,852
to make a better
drum sound,

371
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,462
but now I think I might
soak these old bones

372
00:11:21,636 --> 00:11:22,985
in a little bean bath!

373
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:24,248
Gene, you're pulling
out of the competition?

374
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,815
No.

375
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,774
I'm just taking a little
siesta to clear my mind.

376
00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:29,427
Tina, be a dear
and get me

377
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,428
two slices of ham
to put over my eyes.

378
00:11:31,602 --> 00:11:33,649
Hey, Dad, we're probably
gonna head out in about, um,

379
00:11:33,822 --> 00:11:35,825
30 seconds. So, just
have to finish up

380
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,434
this last order.
What do you
think this says?

381
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,133
"Grilled cheese."

382
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,308
Grilled cheese.
Huh. That's weird.Wh... what?

383
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,267
Nah. Nothing. Never mind.[timer dings]

384
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,312
It just... it says "grilled
cheese" on the ticket,

385
00:11:45,486 --> 00:11:47,445
but maybe you thought it said
"burnt toast," I don't know.

386
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,360
[high-pitched]:
Oh, my God.

387
00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:51,274
Okay, Dad.
We're gonna hit the road.How we doing?

388
00:11:51,448 --> 00:11:53,538
Good. We're just learning
how to make grilled cheese

389
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,149
for the first time,
for some reason.

390
00:11:55,322 --> 00:11:56,540
[high-pitched chuckle]

391
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,977
[laughs] Oh, hey, look at me!

392
00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,849
I got a new order over here!

393
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,634
Uh, Henry here at the counter
says he wants "the usual."

394
00:12:02,808 --> 00:12:06,421
♪ ♪

395
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:08,989
[growls]:
"The usual."

396
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,337
Uh... yeah?

397
00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:12,166
I'll take care of
Henry's usual, Bob.

398
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,688
You keep burning
the grilled cheese.

399
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,385
Oh, no, Dad, I'm gonna
take care of this.

400
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:16,865
I'm gonna take
care of Henry.

401
00:12:17,039 --> 00:12:18,519
What are you
talking about?
I'm talking

402
00:12:18,693 --> 00:12:20,826
about the burger I tried
to make him when I was 14

403
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,567
and you put me
in charge of the restaurant.

404
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:25,221
That's what I'm talking about!Wait, what burger?

405
00:12:25,395 --> 00:12:28,529
The Baby You Can
Chive My Car Burger, Pop!

406
00:12:28,703 --> 00:12:30,575
[nervous laugh]
Okay.

407
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,187
Everyone's fine.
Talking it out.

408
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,014
Here we go! Let's see
if he's got any chives.

409
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,581
Probably not!

410
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,365
Why would he have
chives in a restaurant?

411
00:12:38,539 --> 00:12:39,802
That would be
too much flavor!

412
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:42,586
Oh, I've got chives, buddy.

413
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,764
Good. You ready,
Henry?
What?

414
00:12:44,937 --> 00:12:46,200
Stay out of this, Henry!Sorry.

415
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:47,678
You are not making
one of your

416
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,072
gimmick burgers
in my kitchen!

417
00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:50,682
Vroom. Vroom.

418
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:51,857
What is that?

419
00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:53,206
It's a car sound!

420
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:54,381
That's not a car sound.

421
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:55,687
This is a car sound.

422
00:12:55,861 --> 00:12:59,168
[imitates engine revving]

423
00:12:59,342 --> 00:13:00,518
[imitates brakes screeching]

424
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:01,649
That's how you do it.

425
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,303
Oh, my God!

426
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:08,048
All right, stop making that
burger right now, Junior!

427
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,309
Henry wants the tuna melt!

428
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,919
Isn't that right,
Henry?
No, Pop.

429
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,748
Henry wants the Baby You
Can Chive My Car Burger

430
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:15,576
he never had a chance to
taste because of you!

431
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,404
Look, uh, I don't want
to cause any trouble here.

432
00:13:17,578 --> 00:13:20,102
I'll just eat whatever
you put in front of me.

433
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,931
No problem, easy breezy.

434
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,236
You're getting
the tuna melt!

435
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,542
You're getting
the burger, Henry!

436
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,240
Not if I make
the tuna melt first!

437
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:27,414
Good luck!
[grunts]

438
00:13:27,588 --> 00:13:29,417
Hey, don't
box me out.

439
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,984
Hey, if you're
having a hard time

440
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,681
getting to the grill,
it's not my problem.

441
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,335
And... hug.

442
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:35,945
No? Okay.

443
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,251
Dad will never walk again.
By choice.

444
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,080
Nor will he love
either of you again.

445
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,515
By choice.

446
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,908
Guys?
Did you hear my trash talking?

447
00:13:43,082 --> 00:13:44,301
You can't
hurt me, Tina.

448
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,433
At this point,
I'm more bean than Gene.

449
00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:47,609
LOUISE:
Nobody talk!

450
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,088
Nobody talk.

451
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:53,528
I just need to get
one more on here and...

452
00:13:53,701 --> 00:13:55,485
I win. I win. I win!

453
00:13:55,659 --> 00:13:58,402
Oh, you might have won
if I was done, but I'm not.

454
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,100
What could be better-y
than a battery

455
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:01,578
taped to the back of the chair?

456
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,104
Game. Set. Match.

457
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,932
[traps snapping,
girls screaming]

458
00:14:06,105 --> 00:14:07,236
No! No! No!

459
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:09,152
Uh-oh.Hope you're happy, Tina.

460
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,110
Now Dad doesn't get
a Christmas present.

461
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,940
Looks like Dad just won a bean
bath with a little pee in it!

462
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,245
Oh, that's something.

463
00:14:15,418 --> 00:14:16,289
This'll make Dad's skin

464
00:14:16,463 --> 00:14:18,161
look 40 again... [screams]

465
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,509
No! I spilled my beans!

466
00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:21,817
I guess the Mistle-Tonys
were a bust.

467
00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:23,340
Tina, new game.

468
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,428
You have ten seconds
to find a gift for Dad. Go!

469
00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:27,649
Um... we could give him
this snow globe?

470
00:14:27,822 --> 00:14:29,346
It says,
"Oh, snow, you didn't."

471
00:14:29,519 --> 00:14:31,260
Attagirl. Wrap it up,
make it look pretty.

472
00:14:31,434 --> 00:14:33,133
I'd give you this big,
beautiful bow,

473
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,655
but then what would I wear?

474
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,397
[grunts] I threw
away your garnish!

475
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:37,528
Damn it!

476
00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:38,659
Order up!Order up!

477
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:39,879
Lin, take this
to Henry!

478
00:14:40,052 --> 00:14:41,183
No, Linda.
Take this to Henry!

479
00:14:41,357 --> 00:14:42,706
I'm not taking anything anywhere

480
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:43,970
until you two make peace!

481
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,187
You know what you need?

482
00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:46,668
Come on, people! Sing!

483
00:14:46,841 --> 00:14:48,538
We can bring
these guys back together!

484
00:14:48,712 --> 00:14:49,975
♪ Peace, peace, peace ♪

485
00:14:50,149 --> 00:14:51,933
♪ Peace, peace... ♪
Everybody!

486
00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:53,849
♪ Peace, peace... ♪ Come on.
♪ Peace, peace, pea... ♪

487
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,850
Yeah! ♪ Peace ♪ Yeah, yeah...

488
00:14:56,024 --> 00:14:57,634
[Linda continues singing]Fine, I'll take it
to Henry myself!

489
00:14:57,808 --> 00:14:59,201
Then I will, too!

490
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:00,899
Get your foot
out of my...
[screams] Ow!

491
00:15:01,073 --> 00:15:03,206
Come on, it's Christmas!Here you go, Henry. The usual.

492
00:15:03,379 --> 00:15:04,990
Here you go, Henry. The Baby
You Can Chive My Car Burger.

493
00:15:05,164 --> 00:15:06,644
♪ Peace, peace... ♪
All right, it's not working.

494
00:15:06,817 --> 00:15:09,038
Uh, they both look... good?

495
00:15:09,211 --> 00:15:10,692
You son of a bitch.Take a bite.

496
00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:12,302
Eat the tuna melt,
Henry.

497
00:15:12,475 --> 00:15:14,870
Could I just give the burger,
um, a sniff?

498
00:15:15,043 --> 00:15:16,871
Henry...It's okay to smell.

499
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,177
[sniffing]
Oy gevalt.

500
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,048
Henry...
Smells good, right?

501
00:15:20,222 --> 00:15:22,703
Uh, maybe-maybe just
a... a quick lick?

502
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:23,661
No, not a lick.
Don't do it.

503
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:24,662
Don't lick.

504
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,142
Come on.
Get it all

505
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,230
up in there, Henry.Don't do it, Henry.

506
00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:28,884
You know what? Maybe I won't.

507
00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:31,017
[sighs] I knew you
wouldn't do it, Henry.

508
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,540
Oh, my God, I have to!

509
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,195
Henry!
Oh...

510
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:36,892
What? I'm not chewing.

511
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,328
I'm just holding it
in my mouth for a second.

512
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,027
Ha! You see
that, Pop?

513
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,245
I'm sorry. Oh... Oh, no.

514
00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:44,508
I'm swallowing.

515
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:45,726
Oh, it's so good.

516
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:46,902
I'm having another bite.

517
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:47,990
No!
[laughs]

518
00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:49,383
I win!

519
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,080
I win! Ha!

520
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:53,865
How do you like my
joke burgers now, Pop?

521
00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:55,475
Okay, Junior.

522
00:15:55,649 --> 00:15:56,738
You win.

523
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,740
Thanks for coming
to my party.

524
00:15:58,913 --> 00:16:01,090
Hey, everybody!
I'm covered in bean juice!

525
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,440
How about I run around
and you all try to catch me

526
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:04,615
like a pig at the state fair?

527
00:16:04,788 --> 00:16:06,399
Here I go.
[panting]

528
00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:07,575
Try to catch me.

529
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:09,010
No one's trying very hard!

530
00:16:09,184 --> 00:16:10,881
Good night, everyone.

531
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,450
Merry Christmas.

532
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,842
Well, he's out.

533
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,235
More bean boy
for the rest of you.

534
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,759
[panting]

535
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,070
BOB:
What?!

536
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,245
Why is everybody
looking at me?!

537
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,899
Bobby, easy, easy.

538
00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:29,770
Dad. Dad.
Yes, Louise?

539
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,424
Everyone looks like
they're mad at you.

540
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:32,774
Thank you.

541
00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:34,080
Maybe this will
cheer you up, Dad.

542
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,384
Thanks, Tina.

543
00:16:35,558 --> 00:16:37,908
Open it. There's
something inside.

544
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,562
A snow globe.

545
00:16:39,736 --> 00:16:41,000
Yes.
Great. Th...

546
00:16:41,173 --> 00:16:42,653
Wait, where'd
you get this?
Europe.

547
00:16:42,826 --> 00:16:44,873
No, the newspaper.
Where-where did you find this?

548
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,265
From Pop Pop's basement.

549
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,875
It was in his desk.Look at him.

550
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,269
He's like a baby,

551
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,313
playing with the
wrapping paper. Aw.

552
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:52,793
Bobby, what is it?

553
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,709
It's the first review
of Bob's Burgers.

554
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,057
My dad saved it.

555
00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:58,234
Oh, my God.
That's beautiful.

556
00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,452
Read it.
I don't think so.

557
00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:00,845
Read it.

558
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,456
I don't want to read it.Read it!

559
00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:04,761
"Unique burgers.
Good prices.

560
00:17:04,935 --> 00:17:06,634
"Service leaves something
to be desired.

561
00:17:06,807 --> 00:17:08,069
But worth the trip."

562
00:17:08,243 --> 00:17:09,593
Hmm. Not great.

563
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,290
I mean, it's okay.

564
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,596
Oh, Bobby.

565
00:17:12,769 --> 00:17:14,207
He does love you,

566
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,598
and you drove him out
of his own restaurant.

567
00:17:15,772 --> 00:17:16,904
On Christmas.

568
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,253
[sighs]
Oh, my God.

569
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:20,038
What did I do?I just told you.

570
00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:21,823
Oh. Right.
Drive your father
out on Christmas...

571
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,041
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I heard.

572
00:17:23,215 --> 00:17:24,433
Oh, my God,
that's so sad.

573
00:17:24,607 --> 00:17:26,348
So much for
Christmas magic.

574
00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:27,959
[door opens]
PETE:
Put this on

575
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,134
and come with me.

576
00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:30,788
[gasps]
Wait, what?

577
00:17:30,961 --> 00:17:32,137
Your dad's in my bar.

578
00:17:32,311 --> 00:17:33,442
We're gonna go see him.

579
00:17:33,616 --> 00:17:35,315
Go, Bobby. Go.
I-I...

580
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,447
The kids and I will take
care of the diner. Go.

581
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,057
Yeah, Dad.
When a mysterious

582
00:17:39,231 --> 00:17:40,667
cowboy/Santa says,
"Come with me,"

583
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,365
you climb on that horse
and ride.

584
00:17:42,538 --> 00:17:44,019
Also, free hat!

585
00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:47,369
[country music playing]

586
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:48,806
BOB:
I thought this was a disco.

587
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,155
PETE:
That's Wednesdays.

588
00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:51,679
Thursdays, we
watch Scandal.

589
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,507
Tonight's Country Western
line dancing.

590
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,987
And tomorrow's Christmas--
or did you forget?

591
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,163
I know. I know.

592
00:17:57,336 --> 00:17:58,381
Things got
a little heated.

593
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,513
There he is.
Go talk to him.

594
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,124
With the hat.

595
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,472
Okay.

596
00:18:03,646 --> 00:18:05,213
Just leave me alone.

597
00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:06,693
Pop, come back
to the diner.

598
00:18:06,867 --> 00:18:07,955
I'm busy.

599
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,348
You're just
sitting here.

600
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,046
No, I'm not.
I'm... I'm dancing.

601
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,613
Da... dancing?

602
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,005
You don't dance!

603
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,834
[grunting]

604
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,183
Whoa.

605
00:18:18,357 --> 00:18:19,881
Get out there,
Bob Junior.

606
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,751
Pop, will you please
just come and talk to me?

607
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,277
If you want to
talk to your dad,

608
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,060
you're gonna have
to boot scoot to him.

609
00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:28,063
What does that mean?
What's "boot scoot"?

610
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,545
It looks like
this. Hey-a!

611
00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:32,980
Bend... bend
your knees.

612
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,155
I'm-I'm... ow, okay.

613
00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:35,853
Now shake
that pudding.

614
00:18:37,376 --> 00:18:38,508
What do you want?

615
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:40,075
I just want to
talk to you.

616
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,382
You're doing it wrong.
Those aren't the steps.

617
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,078
Oh, my God. Really?

618
00:18:44,252 --> 00:18:45,906
This is why I didn't
want to work with you.

619
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,865
You have to control
everything I do.

620
00:18:48,038 --> 00:18:49,911
My cooking,
my dancing...

621
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:52,653
Not everyone wants to dance
exactly the same way.

622
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:54,959
Okay, bad example.

623
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,395
You guys are
really good at this.

624
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,701
I'm here every
Friday night.

625
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:58,920
And Thursdays.

626
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:00,442
I love Scandal.

627
00:19:00,616 --> 00:19:02,357
Pop, are you...?I'm not gay, Bob.

628
00:19:02,531 --> 00:19:03,968
These guys are
my friends.

629
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,883
They eat at my diner;
I come here and dance.

630
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:07,406
Oh!

631
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,104
Ah, damn,
missed it again.

632
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,713
Why'd you come
over here, Bob?

633
00:19:10,887 --> 00:19:11,976
To miss steps?

634
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,934
Look, Pops,
you are who you are,

635
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:16,415
and I realize now
that I should just accept that.

636
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:17,981
That's right.
Be yourself, sister.

637
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,722
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

638
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:21,071
Not for leaving.

639
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,943
And not for starting
my own restaurant.

640
00:19:23,117 --> 00:19:25,555
But just for how
I handled things on

641
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,515
the day we broke up.[dancers whoop]

642
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,299
I know it was your way
of showing love, it's just...

643
00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:33,259
I never felt like
you were supportive of me.

644
00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:34,694
At least, that's what I thought

645
00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,000
until I found
the review you saved.

646
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,786
You found that, huh?The kids did.

647
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,615
Not a good idea to let my kids
into your basement, by the way.

648
00:19:41,788 --> 00:19:43,442
Gene took a bean bath.

649
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,444
Well, at least somebody's
having a good time tonight.

650
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,316
Dad, I'm sorry.
You didn't deserve

651
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,144
to be embarrassed
in front of your customers.

652
00:19:49,317 --> 00:19:51,929
I did it back then
and I did it again tonight.

653
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,974
Nope. Wrong time.

654
00:19:54,148 --> 00:19:56,151
Listen, I know
why you had to go.

655
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,980
I can be...
not great to work with.

656
00:19:59,153 --> 00:20:00,938
It was tough without
your mom around.

657
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,461
You did great
on your own.

658
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,463
She'd be very proud.You really think...

659
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,943
Okay, I'm the only guy
facing this way now.

660
00:20:07,117 --> 00:20:08,423
So I'll turn around.

661
00:20:08,597 --> 00:20:10,077
Here we go.

662
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,079
Gene, take this chicken
noodle soup to table five.

663
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,429
On it!

664
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,778
Tina, clean up the spill
by the bathroom.

665
00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:16,345
Bathroom spill
is my middle name.

666
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,086
Attagirl.
Louise, grab some napkins

667
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,305
for the kid at the counter.

668
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,307
That kid's a mess!I know.

669
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,178
BIG BOB:
Look at your family in there.

670
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,135
They really can sling hash
when they want to.

671
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,834
They don't usually
work this hard.

672
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,227
You got happy kids.

673
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:30,881
Weird, happy kids.
That's nice.

674
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:33,144
You're a good
dad, Junior.
Thanks, Pops.

675
00:20:33,318 --> 00:20:34,493
Let's go back
inside, huh?

676
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,843
Yeah, let's...[lock clicks]

677
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,105
[laughing]
Hey! Hey!

678
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,279
Kids, let us in.

679
00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:39,541
Ha ha, no!Open it!

680
00:20:39,715 --> 00:20:40,847
This is our
restaurant now!

681
00:20:41,021 --> 00:20:42,327
It's called
Chez Restauranto,

682
00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:43,502
and we're
Brazilian barbecue!

683
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,026
TINA:
Here.

684
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,332
Aw, come on, Tina!Sorry.

685
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,637
LINDA:
All right! Christmas magic!

686
00:20:48,811 --> 00:20:49,856
My Bobbies are back!

687
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:51,858
HENRY: Yay! [applause]

688
00:20:52,032 --> 00:20:53,556
BIG BOB:
Merry Christmas, everyone.

689
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,689
LOUISE:
Merry Christmas, Pop Pop!

690
00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:58,169
LINDA:
♪ Christmas magic ♪

691
00:20:59,387 --> 00:21:01,999
TEDDY:
♪ Christmas magic ♪

692
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:05,001
LINDA: ♪ Comes every time
each year, whoo! ♪

693
00:21:05,175 --> 00:21:07,743
TEDDY:
♪ Christmas magic ♪

694
00:21:07,917 --> 00:21:10,877
LINDA: ♪ And all the cold
hungry people ♪

695
00:21:11,051 --> 00:21:13,663
TEDDY: ♪ Christmas magic ♪
Fa-la-la-la-la ♪

696
00:21:13,836 --> 00:21:15,709
♪ They're dying
in the streets ♪

697
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:16,971
That can't
be good.

698
00:21:17,144 --> 00:21:19,233
TEDDY:
♪ Christmas
magic ♪

699
00:21:19,407 --> 00:21:24,239
LINDA: ♪ Me
and my family
will be warm
tonight ♪

700
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:28,634
♪ Aw, yeah,
fa-la-la-la-la-la-la. ♪

701
00:21:28,808 --> 00:21:31,507
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org