1 00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,326 I hope you didn't need this jar. 2 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,457 We're getting into canning. 3 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,327 What are you gonna can? 4 00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:25,676 Farts. Oh! 5 00:00:25,850 --> 00:00:26,939 When you need one, you don't have one. 6 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,463 And when you have one, you need more! 7 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:29,812 Wash it when you're done! 8 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,074 Wait. If we freeze the fart, 9 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,335 it'll last forever! 10 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:33,816 It'll be all that's left 11 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:34,947 of the human race when the aliens show up. 12 00:00:35,121 --> 00:00:36,426 Ha-ha, aliens! 13 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,472 We farted on you! 14 00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:39,299 Hey, let's go down and see 15 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,301 if we can make the walk-in cold enough to make fartcicles. 16 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:42,911 Guess who just went to the doctor 17 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,609 for his five-year checkup?Kirstie Alley. 18 00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:45,957 Me. Longest I've been naked in three years. 19 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,524 Well, what'd he say? 20 00:00:47,698 --> 00:00:49,005 Doctor stuff. You know, 21 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,527 "Your cholesterol is off the charts." 22 00:00:50,701 --> 00:00:52,182 "You absolutely must change your eating habits, 23 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:53,792 or you will die." Anyway, 24 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,271 one cheeseburger and fries, please. 25 00:00:55,445 --> 00:00:57,840 Maybe you should be a little concerned, right? 26 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,667 You eat a burger pretty much every day. 27 00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:01,670 That-that can't be good for you. Yeah. 28 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,671 Right. Don't youeat your burgers every day? 29 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,021 Not every day. Yeah. We order off-menu. 30 00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:06,674 It's how we have fun, right? 31 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,329 [laughs] Kill me. 32 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:09,721 Ha-ha, that's nice. 33 00:01:09,894 --> 00:01:11,375 Anyway, cheeseburger and fries, please. 34 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,246 You sure you want to ignore your doctor, Teddy? 35 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,813 I'm not ignoring him. I'm just not listening to him. 36 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,861 [snoring] 37 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,472 [phone rings] 38 00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,212 Bob's Burgers.MAN: This is Teddy's doctor. 39 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:24,954 Let's take a look at Teddy's heart, shall we? 40 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,347 Okay. 41 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:27,825 Whoa. That's strange. 42 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:28,870 Oh, hey... hey, that tickles! 43 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,132 What are you doing? 44 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,700 [laughs] Whoa. Look at that. 45 00:01:31,873 --> 00:01:33,570 Sick! Can I bring that to show-and-tell?! 46 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:35,790 DOCTOR: See how disgustingly unhealthy it is? 47 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:39,141 And it gets bigger and bigger with every burger you serve him. 48 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,664 Uh... 49 00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:43,581 Doctor, stop shoving burgers into his heart! 50 00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:46,192 Oh, but I'm not,Bob. You are. 51 00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:47,542 Mmm! Keep 'em coming, Bob. 52 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,891 Oh, God, no!Keep 'em coming... 53 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,719 No! Keep 'em coming! 54 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:52,981 It's gonna pop! It's gonna blow! 55 00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,375 I'm sorry, Teddy! 56 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,766 What? What happened? What-what happened? 57 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,246 I'm killing Teddy. 58 00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:58,727 What? You're gonna kill Teddy? 59 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,207 All right, car's gassed up. That's good. 60 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,384 Guess I could home-school the kids 'cause... 61 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,864 No, Lin, the burgers are killing him. What? 62 00:02:06,037 --> 00:02:07,649 The ones I give him every day. 63 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,128 Oh. Gotcha. 64 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:11,043 Good God, Linda. You had all that ready? 65 00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:13,394 What? I'm just being supportive. Good night. 66 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,830 [shuddering] 67 00:02:16,004 --> 00:02:17,266 Lowering the temperature a few degrees really works. 68 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,963 I should have worn my higher socks. 69 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,401 You guys call them pants. 70 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:21,705 Is it frozen? 71 00:02:21,879 --> 00:02:23,752 Sorry, kids, no fartsicles. 72 00:02:23,925 --> 00:02:25,145 Just disappoint-sicles. 73 00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:27,103 Well, this experiment was a bust. 74 00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:28,800 Aah! Stupid patch of ice! 75 00:02:28,973 --> 00:02:30,454 Sorry, you're not stupid. You're just slippery. 76 00:02:30,627 --> 00:02:32,239 Hold on. 77 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:36,417 This stupid patch of ice might actually be a genius. 78 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,200 [all grunting] 79 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,770 And tomorrow, the walk-in goes from stinky to rinky. 80 00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:43,989 Feels weird cooking a veggie burger. 81 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,774 Plus, he's gonna know it's not a hamburger. 82 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,168 Nah, nah, Teddy'll eat whatever you put in front of him. 83 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:49,646 Remember when he ate that receipt? 84 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,213 Well, I hope you're right. 85 00:02:53,433 --> 00:02:55,610 This tastes kind of funny. 86 00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:57,480 You don't need to look at it. Just eat it. 87 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,003 It tastes burger-ish, but not good. 88 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,570 Is that what you were going for? 89 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,616 It's a... [muttering]: veggie burger. 90 00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:04,096 It's a what? A veggie burger?! 91 00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,401 Listen...Agh! Ugh! 92 00:03:05,575 --> 00:03:06,968 Why would you do that? Oh! 93 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,665 Why? Oh! Teddy... 94 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,146 Now I can't get the taste out of my mouth. 95 00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:11,800 Ugh! Look, I can't in good conscience 96 00:03:11,973 --> 00:03:13,670 serve you a burger every day. 97 00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:15,804 I don't see you shoving a veggie burger down Mort's throat, 98 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,197 and he eats a burger every day. 99 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,155 That's not true. I often get the soup. 100 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,331 What? You do? Soup?Take it easy, Teddy. 101 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,985 Wait, Teddy, you eat a burger every day? 102 00:03:24,159 --> 00:03:25,987 Of course I do!That's messed up. 103 00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:28,382 You eat a lot of burgers, Mike, the mailman. 104 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,861 Yeah, but I walk nine miles a day. Look at my calves. 105 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:33,300 Wait. Don't look at my calves. They're not that impressive. 106 00:03:33,473 --> 00:03:34,823 Okay, here's the deal, Teddy. 107 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,477 I'll-I'll make you soup or salad, 108 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,826 but I don't think I can serve you my burgers anymore. 109 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:39,957 You cutting me off, Bobby? 110 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,307 I guess I am. 111 00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:42,569 You're cutting meoff?! 112 00:03:42,743 --> 00:03:44,006 Is this some kind of sick joke?! 113 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,312 I think it's for your own good. 114 00:03:45,485 --> 00:03:46,704 You stay the hell out of this, Mort! 115 00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:48,531 Bob, if you take your burgers from me, 116 00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,838 I will murder you and your mouthy wife. 117 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,884 What? Huh? I'm sorry! 118 00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:54,189 I don't know what I'm saying. 119 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,626 I'll kill you! Give me a burger! 120 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,974 Teddy!Calm... down. 121 00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,498 Youcalm down! 122 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,109 [groaning]Oh, my God. 123 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,719 [Linda gasps] Whoa. I will replace that. 124 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:05,157 I don't want to be alive. I don't want to be alive! 125 00:04:05,331 --> 00:04:07,289 He's handling this well.Mm-hmm. 126 00:04:11,032 --> 00:04:13,034 [alarm buzzing]Fire! There's a fire. Fire! 127 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,992 No, Lin, it's the alarm clock. 128 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,516 What? Snooze it. 129 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,908 Oh, you know the buttons don't work. 130 00:04:18,082 --> 00:04:19,389 I have to unplug it.[mumbling] 131 00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:21,129 LOUISE: Someone unplug the alarm clock! 132 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,697 [buzzing stops]Thank you. 133 00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:24,699 Where are you going so early? 134 00:04:24,872 --> 00:04:26,569 I told Teddy I'd go jogging with him. 135 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,398 He wants to prove to me that he's healthy enough 136 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,834 to be un-cut-off from our burgers. 137 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,358 Why are you running if you don't want to? 138 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:33,925 Just tell your teacher you have sciatica. 139 00:04:34,098 --> 00:04:36,406 I think it's sweet you're helping your best friend. 140 00:04:36,579 --> 00:04:39,016 Teddy's not my best friend.Teddy thinks you're best friends. 141 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,062 He does? LINDA: Sure.EUGENE: Yup. 142 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:43,064 Wait. Who's your best friend then? 143 00:04:43,238 --> 00:04:44,762 Mm... probably Walter Russo. 144 00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:46,329 Walter Russo? 145 00:04:46,502 --> 00:04:48,199 When was the last time you talked to Walter Russo? 146 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,072 [yawns]I don't know, like, six years ago. 147 00:04:50,245 --> 00:04:51,725 Bob, you see Teddy every day. 148 00:04:51,899 --> 00:04:53,771 Yeah, but Teddy's not my best friend, Lin. 149 00:04:53,944 --> 00:04:55,250 He's my best customer. 150 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,600 There's a big difference. 151 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,558 And I really value that 30 inches 152 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,430 of Formica that's between us. 153 00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:03,302 Are you talking about your dingdong, Daddy? Brag. 154 00:05:03,476 --> 00:05:06,392 Yeah, well, off to take my best customerjogging 155 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,264 so his heart doesn't explode. 156 00:05:08,437 --> 00:05:09,874 All right, have fun. 157 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,353 LOUISE: Are you all in bed with Mom? 158 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,615 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 159 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,096 Coming up, coming up. 160 00:05:14,269 --> 00:05:15,706 [Louise hums] 161 00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:17,185 Oh, our little seal platform. 162 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,535 [sighs] 163 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:19,927 [ringing]What is that? 164 00:05:20,101 --> 00:05:21,755 Myalarm clock. Got to go. 165 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,584 [gasps] Oh! Uh, we gotta go 166 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,106 check on... nothing! 167 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:27,413 Oh, yeah, maybe the nothing's ready! 168 00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:30,112 Aw. [mumbling] 169 00:05:32,026 --> 00:05:33,115 [gasps] 170 00:05:33,288 --> 00:05:35,944 It's... perfect. 171 00:05:36,117 --> 00:05:37,728 Huh? Look how high my knees are! 172 00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,120 [panting loudly]I'm in great shape. 173 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,295 Great enough for one burger? 174 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,428 I don't think so, Teddy.Oh. 175 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:43,821 Should we call the cops? 176 00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,997 Some kind of early morning gang brawl? 177 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:48,303 Wait... I-I think they're fakefighting. 178 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,262 Excuse me. What-what's going on over there? 179 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:51,654 It's called stuntman boot camp. 180 00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,264 I'm in the best shape of my life. 181 00:05:53,439 --> 00:05:55,266 You're a stuntman?No. I just train like one. 182 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,485 You should check it out. 183 00:05:56,659 --> 00:05:57,834 [hooting] BOTH: Whoa. 184 00:05:58,009 --> 00:05:59,446 Grenade![yelling] 185 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,968 And another grenade![yelling] 186 00:06:01,142 --> 00:06:03,927 Got to admit, that looks kind of cool. 187 00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:05,321 Sort of cool. 188 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,713 Well, that guy doesn't look cool. 189 00:06:06,887 --> 00:06:08,716 All right, great "grenadies," everybody. 190 00:06:08,889 --> 00:06:11,108 Now, don't forget to sign up for the intensive, 191 00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:12,980 weekend-long, stuntman boot camp in the woods. 192 00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:15,112 Where you might learn how to do this. 193 00:06:15,286 --> 00:06:17,507 Go ahead. Now this is actually a ten-story burning building, 194 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,812 and I'm on fire. 195 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,509 Ow! On fire!Oh, wow. 196 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:23,165 I'm on fire! I'm on fire!So much fire! 197 00:06:23,338 --> 00:06:24,819 Falling and rolling like you're on fire 198 00:06:24,992 --> 00:06:26,473 burns as many calories as running, people. 199 00:06:26,646 --> 00:06:28,082 That is why, pound for pound, 200 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,605 stuntmen are the greatest athletes in the world. 201 00:06:29,779 --> 00:06:31,346 Up top! 202 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:32,783 Huh. I thought it was golfers. 203 00:06:32,956 --> 00:06:34,002 It's not golfers? 204 00:06:34,175 --> 00:06:36,483 Holy frozen nips! 205 00:06:36,656 --> 00:06:38,310 Look at this place! 206 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:39,963 It's so slippery! 207 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:41,052 [stammering] 208 00:06:41,225 --> 00:06:42,444 Yeah, we like it. 209 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:43,838 It's all right, I guess. 210 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,622 So, what do you do down here? 211 00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:48,408 Well, we've experimented with lots of stuff.We tried 212 00:06:48,581 --> 00:06:50,018 curling. TINA: We tried lying 213 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,759 on the ice. That was refreshing. 214 00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:53,500 Some of us didn't like it as much as others, 215 00:06:53,673 --> 00:06:55,370 but we respect their opinions. 216 00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:56,590 LOUISE: And ice fishing. 217 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,112 GENE: We did not get a bite. 218 00:06:58,286 --> 00:07:01,637 In the end, the most fun thing to do is this. 219 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,726 [groaning]Whoa! 220 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,336 So... pushing? 221 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,555 Icepushing. 222 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,471 It all makes sense! 223 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,387 Hi, Andy. Hi, Ollie. 224 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,040 Hi, Louise and Gene and Tina's mom! 225 00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:14,346 Louise said to say we're meeting 226 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,000 in the basement for homework club. 227 00:07:16,173 --> 00:07:17,740 Okay. Have fun. 228 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,569 Homework club? 229 00:07:19,742 --> 00:07:22,005 Oh, my God, they're doing drugs to each other! 230 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,879 Push me till I feel something, Zeke! 231 00:07:25,052 --> 00:07:26,533 Well, well, well. 232 00:07:26,706 --> 00:07:29,536 Mom! Hey, uh, uh, we were just all getting... 233 00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:31,711 a-a head of...Yeah? 234 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,975 A head of lettuce.Mom, you didn't happen to look down, did you? 235 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:37,194 As a matter of fact, I'm looking down right now, Tina.[groaning] 236 00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,675 And... it's amazing! 237 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,372 Oh, God, look at it shimmer! 238 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,071 It's frozen water! 239 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,074 They call it "ice," and it's gonna change the world! 240 00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:48,293 If you're gonna be pushing each other on the ice like this, 241 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,470 you need to be wearing...Helmets. I know. 242 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,167 I've been a broken record about it. 243 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,776 No! Costumes! 244 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,822 Glitzy ones with sequins! 245 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,913 I want to be the bad boy of ice pushing like Elvis Stojko! 246 00:07:59,086 --> 00:08:01,088 And I want to be the bad boy of public radio, 247 00:08:01,262 --> 00:08:03,134 like Elvis Mitchell! 248 00:08:03,307 --> 00:08:05,440 I'll go get the costumes. Ooh, and don't tell your father. 249 00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:08,399 We won't if you won't! Got to love that woman. 250 00:08:08,574 --> 00:08:09,750 [food sizzling] 251 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,185 Hey, Lin. Whoa! 252 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,795 Where-where... where are you going? What?! 253 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,494 What...? What? Nowhere. What's this stuff? 254 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:15,495 What? What are we doing? We're making burgers? 255 00:08:15,668 --> 00:08:16,538 Let's do it. Let's go. 256 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,192 What's this? This is to-go? 257 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,935 Hey, buddy, catch!I-I got this. Geez, Lin. 258 00:08:21,108 --> 00:08:22,762 Here you go. 259 00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:27,418 Hey, there, Teddy. 260 00:08:27,593 --> 00:08:28,812 One veggie burger, please. 261 00:08:28,985 --> 00:08:30,858 I just got to use the restroom real quick. 262 00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:33,163 Hmm. You ever see Teddy with a briefcase before? 263 00:08:33,337 --> 00:08:34,557 Only in that one play. 264 00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:36,124 I forgot about that. 265 00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,472 Put the coffee down! 266 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,779 Coffee is for closers only! 267 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,302 Teddy, what are you doing in there? 268 00:08:41,476 --> 00:08:42,913 TEDDY: Washing my hands or something. 269 00:08:43,086 --> 00:08:44,959 I can hear you chewing. You're chewing a burger. 270 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,091 [gasps] Did you get that guy to buy you a burger?! 271 00:08:47,264 --> 00:08:48,701 No, I'm just checking the bathroom 272 00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,790 to see that it's not leaking. [munching] 273 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,836 He's eating!Teddy, stop eating. 274 00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:55,490 [crying]: You don't know how hard this is for me. 275 00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:58,363 I paid that guy $300 to buy me this burger. 276 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,322 Come on, Teddy, you owe it to yourself. 277 00:09:00,495 --> 00:09:02,889 No, I don't.Okay. Well, then do it for me. 278 00:09:03,063 --> 00:09:05,326 Ah, you're just helping me because you feel guilty. 279 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,633 That's not why. 280 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,155 Yeah, it is. Admit it, Bobby. 281 00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,722 No, it's not.Admit it! 282 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:12,202 Teddy, it's because... you're my friend. 283 00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:13,509 Your bestfriend!I didn't say... 284 00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,379 Besties. Linda. 285 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,513 Really, Bob? [sniffles] We're best friends? 286 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,036 I mean...♪ Best friends ♪ 287 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,864 ♪ Tll the very end! ♪Lin. 288 00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,519 ♪ He crashes on your couch when he loses his job ♪ 289 00:09:23,692 --> 00:09:26,000 ♪ A guy pulls a knife, and you jump in front ♪ 290 00:09:26,173 --> 00:09:27,523 What?♪ You take the blade ♪ 291 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,830 ♪ Right in the gut! ♪ Ow!Oh, my God. 292 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,005 ♪ Then he holds your hand till the medic comes... ♪ 293 00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:33,442 Linda, thank you. 294 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,312 You son of a bitch. Get in here, bestie. 295 00:09:35,486 --> 00:09:37,837 Oh. Okay. You got it. [grunts] 296 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,578 You got it. Yeah. 297 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:43,017 ♪ You... feed him soup when he breaks his jaw ♪ 298 00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,366 ♪ You help him pee when he has that thing ♪ 299 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:47,282 ♪ He's your best friend... ♪ 300 00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:50,067 [Teddy laughs] 301 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,981 Ah, hockey. 302 00:09:52,155 --> 00:09:54,375 Well, I-I guess it's time to hit the hay, huh?[phone ringing] 303 00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:56,378 Bup-bup-bup-bup, hold on, hold on.What? What? 304 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,813 I got to take this. Hello? 305 00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,467 Really? We got in? 306 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,860 Ha, ha! How about that. 307 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,297 Okay, hey, we'll see you in the morning. 308 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,081 Tremendous news! 309 00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:05,692 Remember how you said that stuntman boot camp was cool? 310 00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:08,172 You... didn't sign us up for that, did you? 311 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,826 Better! I signed us up for the intensive weekend 312 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,437 boot camp retreat in the woods! 313 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:14,395 What? You did?Yup, the whole weekend. 314 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,528 So I'd watch the restaurant, the walk-in, 315 00:10:16,702 --> 00:10:18,095 everything in the walk-in, and you'd be gone? 316 00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,053 Huh? Ah, nothing. 317 00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:23,230 And it's two to a cabin, so you and me will be roomie-caboomies! 318 00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:24,754 I don't know, Teddy. That, um, 319 00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:27,104 doesn't sound like something I want to do. 320 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,889 What?! You've always wanted to do stunts in the woods. 321 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,760 Yeah. Get the hell out of here! 322 00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:33,720 Yeah, go for it, Dad. Do it! 323 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,721 Though you've already pulled off the toughest stunt of all-- 324 00:10:35,895 --> 00:10:37,724 raising three great kids. Yeah. 325 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,246 Come on, Bobby. My treat! 326 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,249 Okay, I'll go. That's, um... 327 00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:44,426 Thanks.Aw, it's nothin'. Well, not nothin'. 328 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,687 I won't have electricity for three months. 329 00:10:45,861 --> 00:10:47,995 But yay! 330 00:10:48,168 --> 00:10:50,562 TEDDY: ♪ He crashes on your couch when he loses his job♪ 331 00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:53,086 Okay...♪ He helps you pee when you've got that thing ♪ 332 00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:56,567 Okay, that's great.♪ He hates squirrels 'cause you hate squirrels ♪ 333 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,745 Please stop.♪ He's your best friend ♪ 334 00:10:58,918 --> 00:11:01,051 ♪ Your best friend...♪ 335 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,881 [grunts] There's gonna be a lot of exercise this weekend. 336 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:07,797 So take it easy, okay? 337 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,408 You're not in the best shape, you know.I know, best buddy. 338 00:11:10,581 --> 00:11:12,975 Okay. Now I need everybody to breath out stress...Mm-hmm. 339 00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:16,283 [exhales] ...breath in stunts.Stunts. 340 00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:18,416 Congratulations, you've now got stunts inside of you. 341 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,114 Now we're gonna get cracking and roll down 342 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,462 these stairs here. So everybody knows 343 00:11:21,636 --> 00:11:23,378 that falling down a flight of stairs 344 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,163 is the same as doing 100 sit-ups.Really? We're doing this? 345 00:11:26,336 --> 00:11:28,338 You're a mid-level drug dealer in an apartment stairwell. 346 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,864 Cameras are rolling. Bang! You've been shot.Uh... 347 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:32,822 Action! Action, man! Go! You got to go! 348 00:11:32,995 --> 00:11:34,215 Go! This is a go.That's you, Bobby. 349 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,172 That was a go. Go, go, go go, go...! 350 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,129 What? Wait a... Aah! 351 00:11:36,303 --> 00:11:37,783 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 352 00:11:37,957 --> 00:11:40,307 Ow.Wow! That was terrible! 353 00:11:40,481 --> 00:11:42,788 Wait, have you done any of your morning melees in the park? 354 00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,268 No! Oh! 355 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,661 Well, then you could really get hurt. 356 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,229 LINDA: Welcome to the Freezer-Dome! 357 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:51,798 Whoever wins this whole shebang takes this baby home! 358 00:11:51,971 --> 00:11:54,669 KIDS: Ooh.It's beautiful. 359 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,280 Aw. You all look so cute. 360 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:58,629 Everyone got their pillows? 361 00:11:58,804 --> 00:12:00,457 Everyone safe?KIDS: Yes. 362 00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:03,504 Now let's rumble! If your butt touches ice, you're dead. 363 00:12:03,678 --> 00:12:05,768 Really?No. No, you're just out, honey. 364 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,336 Two kids enter, one kid leaves! 365 00:12:08,509 --> 00:12:11,947 KIDS: Two kids enter, one kid leaves! 366 00:12:12,121 --> 00:12:14,341 First up, Rudy versus Louise! Go! 367 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,605 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why am I going against Rudy? 368 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,259 He's a pushover, a cupcake. 369 00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:19,650 What? I'm tough. 370 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,566 Rudy, I'm in your P.E. class. 371 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,351 I was there for the kickball incident. 372 00:12:24,525 --> 00:12:25,831 That was humbling.Yeah. 373 00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:27,615 Hey, it's called weight class, cool breeze. 374 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,226 Deal with it. You can't hang with the big boys, anyway. 375 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,880 Oh, I can't hang with the big boys? 376 00:12:32,054 --> 00:12:33,447 No, I'm gonna hang with the big boys. 377 00:12:33,621 --> 00:12:34,448 You'll see. 378 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,624 Look at me. Ding! 379 00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,059 [Louise and Rudy roar] 380 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:38,669 Oh.All right, take care, buddy. 381 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:39,975 Next! 382 00:12:40,149 --> 00:12:41,369 That's Mama's girl! 383 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,197 This is sugar glass, everyone. 384 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:46,025 Fights often end with someone flying through a window. 385 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,897 It's a staple in action movies. 386 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,769 And an amazing cardio workout, which you can incorporate 387 00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:53,293 into your daily routine. My grandmother does it. 388 00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:55,557 Now, Teddy, you're looking for the guy who kidnapped your daughter. 389 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,341 Bob, you're the guy who kidnapped 390 00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:58,602 his daughter.Ooh. 391 00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,995 You are a horrible person. 392 00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,389 Teddy wants revenge. Go! 393 00:13:01,562 --> 00:13:02,869 Wait, why am I the person who's... 394 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,434 [roaring]No! 395 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,960 [grunts] Where's my daughter, punk?! 396 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,222 [growling] [coughs] Get... Teddy, get off. 397 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,441 Get off! 398 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,529 Today, one of you will advance 399 00:13:12,703 --> 00:13:14,923 to the Freezer-Dome championship. 400 00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:16,664 The other one will leave in shame. 401 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,274 But all the losers get stickers. 402 00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:19,754 Stickers of shame! 403 00:13:19,928 --> 00:13:21,538 Now fight! Clank-clank! 404 00:13:21,712 --> 00:13:23,105 You're going down, Zeke. 405 00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:24,890 Good luck with my low center of gravity. 406 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,849 I'm practically unpushoverable. 407 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,067 We'll see about that. 408 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,764 Come on, girl![grunting] 409 00:13:29,938 --> 00:13:31,288 [muttering]I told you 410 00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:32,245 you're going... 411 00:13:32,419 --> 00:13:33,769 [grunts] ...down. 412 00:13:33,942 --> 00:13:35,596 Yeah! I did it! I pushed a girl 413 00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,773 and not because I like her and didn't know how to show it! 414 00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,427 Oh. Sorry, sweetie. 415 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,471 You got to get off the ice. Go on, get off. 416 00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:43,212 Louise versus Gene! 417 00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:44,519 Easy win, Gene. 418 00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:46,129 I'll be waiting for you in the finals. 419 00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:48,217 Well, if he shows up to the finals and looks like me, 420 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,264 that's because it's me, Zeke! 421 00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:51,918 I'm Mommy to both of you, 422 00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:54,442 but let's see who wants Mommy's love more. Ding! 423 00:13:54,615 --> 00:13:56,748 I want Mom's love pretty bad, so look out. 424 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,967 [grunting, gasping] 425 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,448 Oh, yeah? How 'bout a little of this?[grunts] 426 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,407 Well, you're sturdier than I thought. 427 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:04,931 Sturdy and purdy. 428 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,280 Hold on, hold on. I got something in my eye. 429 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,283 [groans] Man, it's really in there. 430 00:14:09,456 --> 00:14:11,807 Gene, have a seat. This could take a while. 431 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:13,852 No problem.You fell for it! 432 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,855 Aw!She beat you fair and square, 433 00:14:16,028 --> 00:14:18,988 unfairly, here in the Freezer-Dome! 434 00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,643 She advances to the finals tomorrow! 435 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,124 I'm coming for you, Zeke! 436 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:25,298 Bring it on! 437 00:14:25,472 --> 00:14:26,429 [owl hooting] 438 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:27,909 [loud snoring] 439 00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:30,652 [groans] 440 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:33,567 You've got to be kidding me. 441 00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:36,484 [snoring] 442 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,659 [coughing] 443 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,140 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 444 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,317 [Darnell mimicking bugle] 445 00:14:44,491 --> 00:14:46,014 Wake up, stuntboys! 446 00:14:46,188 --> 00:14:48,191 I'm sorry that was weird-- I don't have a bugle. 447 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,366 It can't be morning. No, no, no, no, no. 448 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:53,022 Big day today! You're gonna get chased by robots, 449 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,373 get set on fire-- it literally burns the calories right off. 450 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,635 [imitating robot beeping][groaning] 451 00:14:58,809 --> 00:14:59,681 Freeze, human. 452 00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:02,030 We have apprehended you. 453 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,337 Beep beep. All right, time-out, time-out, time-out.What is going on here? 454 00:15:04,511 --> 00:15:06,817 Oh, my God.You don't have the mental fortitude of someone that wants 455 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,038 to train to not be an actual stuntman. 456 00:15:09,211 --> 00:15:10,952 It's like you don't even want to be here. 457 00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:13,259 Because I don't!What?! 458 00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:15,523 Look, guys, I only came here as a workout buddy 459 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,786 for my friend Teddy because I felt guilty. 460 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,005 I mean, he's not even my friend. 461 00:15:20,179 --> 00:15:21,702 What are your words even meaning? 462 00:15:21,876 --> 00:15:23,096 Listen, between you and me, 463 00:15:23,269 --> 00:15:24,836 I had to say he was my best friend 464 00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:27,838 so he'd get healthy and not eat my burgers all the time. 465 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,363 Oh, I sell burgers. 466 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:31,191 So he's really my best customer, 467 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,671 'cause all he does is shove burgers in his mouth. 468 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:36,370 But he's not my best friend. 469 00:15:37,544 --> 00:15:38,588 Oh. 470 00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,200 Oh, my God. Hey, Teddy. 471 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,724 Hey. So, uh, you just heard 472 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:45,030 all that. And you're on fire. 473 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:46,857 Those words hurt more than that fire. 474 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,121 Yeah, he's gonna be scarred inside and outside. 475 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,514 And o... We should put... Put him out-- he's scarring.We should put him out. 476 00:15:51,688 --> 00:15:53,517 He's starting to scar. Yeah. 477 00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,436 How could you lie to me like that?! 478 00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,264 Who says they're someone's best friend when they're not?! 479 00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:03,091 I lied because I care about you. 480 00:16:03,265 --> 00:16:05,615 Pull over here. Here! Stop the car, Bob! 481 00:16:05,789 --> 00:16:08,096 You're not the only guy that serves burgers. 482 00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:11,447 I'm gonna be a regular at Dusty's Feedbag now, friend. 483 00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:13,232 Come on, Teddy, d...Oh, 484 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,148 and one more thing-- three years ago, 485 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,629 you forgot a tomato on my burger and I said nothing-- nothing! 486 00:16:18,802 --> 00:16:20,980 Teddy, don't go in there!You don't tell me what to do! 487 00:16:21,153 --> 00:16:23,068 Oh, wait, I guess this entrance isn't open. 488 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,852 It's around the back. 489 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,768 Then just come back here.You... Keep driving! 490 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,249 Is it around the side or... Where am I? Something. 491 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:31,729 It's right there in the front, the huge entrance.I think this door goes... 492 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:35,081 Get out of here, Bob! I don't need your help! 493 00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:36,865 Boys and girls, girls and boys, 494 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,998 future adults of America, 495 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,652 it's time for the most important thing in the world... 496 00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:45,264 the Freezer-Dome finals! 497 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,267 Only one of you will go home with this! 498 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,182 [kids cheer] 499 00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,052 I want that belt. And I'm not gonna fall 500 00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:52,446 for your little tricks, girl. 501 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,751 I wouldn't try to trick you, Zeke. 502 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,624 Ding!Ow! Oh, wait, wait, wait! I got something in my eye. 503 00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,321 Hold on, hold on. 504 00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,628 All right, I guess I'll just take a seat here, 505 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:03,673 bend my little knees down... Ha! Just kidding! 506 00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:07,113 Hey, hey, you had to try. You know why? 'Cause you're tiny! 507 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,288 [grunts] Ah! 508 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,028 You're home early. 509 00:17:10,202 --> 00:17:11,464 What, did you pull a hammy? 510 00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,770 No. Long story. Where's Linda? 511 00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:15,990 Downstairs, I think.Mike, what are you doing? 512 00:17:16,164 --> 00:17:17,471 That's weird. I'm normally over there. 513 00:17:17,644 --> 00:17:18,950 I thought you were with Teddy. 514 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,821 Uh, he's at Dusty's Feedbag, 515 00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,345 his new favorite restaurant. 516 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,173 Oh, that's not good.Why? 517 00:17:24,346 --> 00:17:26,174 You haven't heard of the Belt Buckle Belly Buster? 518 00:17:26,348 --> 00:17:27,480 They serve that there. 519 00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:29,134 Belt Buckle Belly Buster? 520 00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:30,614 It's a five-pound burger. 521 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,224 If you eat the whole thing in a half hour, 522 00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:34,227 it's free, and you get your picture on the wall. 523 00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:37,143 Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no. Teddy! 524 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,666 So you said it's cool to have more ice cream? 525 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,016 TINA: You're gonna get destroyed. 526 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:42,496 Throw in the towel!Never. 527 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,800 Never, never, never! 528 00:17:43,974 --> 00:17:45,412 Finish her! 529 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,195 Why you putting up a fight, you tiny sweet angel? 530 00:17:47,369 --> 00:17:49,328 Take your medicine, girl. Just go down. 531 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,852 I'm s... I'm still totally gonna win, 532 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,680 so shut your mouth. 533 00:17:54,898 --> 00:17:56,683 You might have beaten me, Louise, 534 00:17:56,857 --> 00:17:58,990 but blood is thicker than ice. But not actually. 535 00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:01,166 Time to unleash the beast. 536 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:01,863 [inhales] 537 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:02,993 [gagging] 538 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:03,994 Now's your chance! 539 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,474 [grunts]Oh, God. 540 00:18:05,648 --> 00:18:07,303 Oh, that's what killed the dinosaurs. 541 00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:08,869 That's awful. Ooh. 542 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,872 Zeke is down! Louise, you win! 543 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:14,005 Yay! ♪ Everybody kiss my butt ♪ 544 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,224 ♪ Everybody kiss my butt ♪♪ Kiss her butt ♪ 545 00:18:16,398 --> 00:18:18,357 ♪ Everybody kiss my butt ♪♪ Everybody kiss her butt ♪ 546 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,490 ♪ Everybody kiss my butt ♪♪ Everybody kiss her butt ♪ 547 00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:22,101 Yeah! 548 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,192 Teddy!Bob. 549 00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:28,150 You didn't order the Belt Buckle Belly Buster, did you? 550 00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,065 Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. 551 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,588 But I did.Excuse me. Uh, are you Dusty? 552 00:18:32,762 --> 00:18:35,288 Dusty? [chuckles] Uh, no. There's no Dusty. 553 00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:38,638 Uh, this is a chain, pal. I'm Kevin. I'm the manager. 554 00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,381 Listen, Kevin, you can't serve this guy your five-pound burger. 555 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,164 Oh, okay, making a note. 556 00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:45,515 I can't serve someone a burger in my own restaurant. 557 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,994 Look, Teddy is... Well... 558 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,171 He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. 559 00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,606 Both because he's incredibly sweet 560 00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:52,131 but also because it's full 561 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:54,262 of cholesterol. Which is why you can't serve him 562 00:18:54,436 --> 00:18:56,787 that huge burger-- he-he might not survive it. 563 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,572 [chuckles] Well, you know what? Big boy paid for it, 564 00:18:58,746 --> 00:18:59,963 so order up! 565 00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:01,617 Good God, look at that thing.Oh. 566 00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:03,794 Let me at it!You're not giving him that burger. 567 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,449 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.Come on, let that Belly Buster through. 568 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,711 Please take the burger back to the kitchen, ma'am.[laughs] 569 00:19:08,885 --> 00:19:12,106 It is so weird that you think you work here. I just... 570 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,587 Damn it, I don't remember hiring a fat Burt Reynolds. 571 00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:16,720 Look, this burger is not going anywhere. 572 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,634 This is just fantastic. 573 00:19:18,808 --> 00:19:21,289 I'm gonna get to throw fat Burt Reynolds out of my restaurant! 574 00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:23,162 Oh, yeah? Well, I can get tough, too. 575 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:25,729 And I'm staying.Guys, come on. Don't fight over me. 576 00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,296 Wait, is that what's happening? 577 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,603 Bad news for you, Kevin. I've just been through 578 00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,605 a bunch of kick-ass training, so if you think 579 00:19:31,778 --> 00:19:33,476 you can just... Oh, no... 580 00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:36,261 Oh, yeah? Well, I hope you got trained to get your ass kicked! 581 00:19:36,435 --> 00:19:38,046 Actually, I did! Oh, God! 582 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,090 Here comes the glass! 583 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:40,961 [screams] 584 00:19:41,135 --> 00:19:43,747 Thanks for coming! 585 00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:45,270 Are you okay, Bobby? 586 00:19:45,444 --> 00:19:47,097 [groans] Real glass hurts so bad. 587 00:19:47,272 --> 00:19:48,317 Am I bleeding? 588 00:19:48,490 --> 00:19:49,971 Not, like, too much. 589 00:19:50,144 --> 00:19:51,406 And the concrete wasn't padded. 590 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:53,626 It was so hard when-when I landed on it. 591 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,499 Before you pass out, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. 592 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,198 I have so much glass in myself.I'll get you out of here, buddy. 593 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:00,460 All right, let's go to the hospital, Teddy. 594 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,330 No, Bob. Let's go home. 595 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,333 No. No, we're gonna go to a hospital...Shh, shh, shh. 596 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,291 Home it is, Bob. 597 00:20:06,465 --> 00:20:08,336 Here we go, almost home. 598 00:20:08,510 --> 00:20:10,948 I'll just see if someone else can take me. 599 00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,471 Hey, even though I'm not your best friend, 600 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,169 I really appreciate what you did. 601 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,650 Look, I-I'm sorry I said you're not my best friend. 602 00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,652 Because you are.I am? 603 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,958 Yeah, I mean, it depends on how you define it. 604 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,352 You technically are my best friend. 605 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:25,701 But, I mean... I might meet...Bup, bup, bup-- stop right there, Bobby. 606 00:20:25,875 --> 00:20:27,748 But, I mean, I don't know who...Yeah. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob. 607 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,184 Eventually I...Enough. Can I carry you across the threshold? 608 00:20:30,358 --> 00:20:31,751 [sighs] All right. 609 00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,797 [grunting] 610 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:36,017 Ow.Watch your head. Sorry. 611 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:38,585 LINDA: Aw, my little beat-up Bobby. 612 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,413 Where's that belt from? Where's all the food? 613 00:20:40,586 --> 00:20:42,327 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shush.Is the ice helping? 614 00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:44,721 Pretty refreshing, right?Yes, Tina. 615 00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:46,332 How 'bout this? Is this helping? 616 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,072 Thanks, Teddy. Yes, it's good. 617 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,857 How 'bout some smelling salts?Oh, God. Come on! 618 00:20:51,031 --> 00:20:52,163 Oh, you come on. 619 00:20:52,337 --> 00:20:53,469 That fart's a winner and you know it! 620 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:54,775 All right, let me smell it again. 621 00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,906 [sniffing] Yeah, you're right. 622 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,734 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 623 00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:01,564 ♪ He crashes on your couch when he loses his job ♪ 624 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:04,349 ♪ Guy pulls a knife and you jump in front ♪ 625 00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:06,568 ♪ You take the blade right in the gut ♪ 626 00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:08,354 ♪ Ow! ♪ 627 00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:11,138 ♪ Then he holds your hand till the medic comes ♪ 628 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,705 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 629 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,403 ♪ You feed him soup when he breaks his jaw ♪ 630 00:21:15,577 --> 00:21:17,753 ♪ You help him pee when he has that thing ♪ 631 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,799 ♪ He's your best friend! ♪ 632 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:26,240 ♪ He crashes on your couch when he loses his job ♪ 633 00:21:26,414 --> 00:21:28,590 ♪ He helps you pee when you've got that thing ♪ 634 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:30,244 ♪ He's your best friend♪ 635 00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:31,855 LINDA & TEDDY: ♪ Your best friend!♪