1
00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:03,915
[indistinct arguing]

2
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,354
DOUG: Your son
ruined everything!
LINDA:
My son is a star!

3
00:00:06,527 --> 00:00:08,920
[talking over each other]Calm down, Linda,
calm down.

4
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,574
He's the future
Neil Patrick Harris!

5
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:11,968
What? Neil Patrick Harris is
way more talented than Gene.

6
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:13,448
FROND: Quiet down, everyone!

7
00:00:13,621 --> 00:00:14,535
Thank you.

8
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,753
Now, there's
a lot of parents

9
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:16,972
and children
waiting out there

10
00:00:17,146 --> 00:00:18,408
that came to see
the fall musical,

11
00:00:18,582 --> 00:00:19,801
but it seems that we have

12
00:00:19,975 --> 00:00:21,237
some conflict going on here.

13
00:00:21,411 --> 00:00:23,980
Luckily, conflict
has one enemy: me.

14
00:00:24,153 --> 00:00:25,981
So I'm going to get out
my peace pad

15
00:00:26,155 --> 00:00:28,289
and we are going
to process this mess

16
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,160
and put it to rest.

17
00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:32,075
Now, who wants
to tell me what happened?

18
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:33,554
I'll tell it!

19
00:00:33,728 --> 00:00:35,209
Well, hey, why does
he get to tell it?

20
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,167
Because he's my
beautiful boy, that's why.

21
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,472
Yeah, and you're
just someone's dad.

22
00:00:38,646 --> 00:00:39,777
Yeah, my dad.

23
00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:41,432
People, please! Gene...

24
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:44,652
It started with
the school announcements...

25
00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:46,959
MS. LABONZ [over P.A.]:
Attention Wagstaff student body.

26
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,960
The fall musical is coming up,

27
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,658
and we're not
doing Greaseagain.

28
00:00:50,832 --> 00:00:52,704
I can't!
I'm not doing it!

29
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,706
For this year,
we will be accepting

30
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,838
student submissions for
an original production.

31
00:00:57,012 --> 00:00:58,014
[gasps]

32
00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,146
So, if there's anyone out there

33
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,103
who's creative...Me.

34
00:01:01,277 --> 00:01:02,844
Talented...Me!

35
00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:03,975
And musically brilliant...

36
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:05,152
Me!

37
00:01:05,325 --> 00:01:06,631
...this is your big chance.

38
00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,763
Also, today's lunch is tacos.

39
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,156
Tacos?!

40
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:11,983
This is the best
day of my life!

41
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,376
Shirt rip!

42
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:14,944
[grunting]

43
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:17,728
You guys!
This is it!

44
00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:19,079
I can finally unleash

45
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,644
my passion project
on the world!

46
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:21,950
Are you talking
about...

47
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,561
Die Hard,
the Musical!

48
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:25,694
You've been working on
that one for a while.

49
00:01:25,867 --> 00:01:27,347
Yeah, ever since I saw Die Hard

50
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,826
and said, why is no one singing?

51
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,176
Why is no one dancing?

52
00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:31,525
What's wrong with Hollywood?

53
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,527
Uh-oh. Who's got
a necklace in her mouth,

54
00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:34,920
is smothering, and
like-likes you?

55
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:36,356
Mom?
LOUISE:
No, Courtney.

56
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:37,358
Oh, no.

57
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,402
Hey, Gene.
Ooh...

58
00:01:38,575 --> 00:01:39,707
Okay, she wants
you back.

59
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,448
I'll handle this.

60
00:01:41,622 --> 00:01:43,015
Look, Courtney, I know
you want to get with this.

61
00:01:43,189 --> 00:01:44,843
Okay? But honey...

62
00:01:45,016 --> 00:01:46,280
It's a mess.

63
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,543
I mean, what are we
even looking at here?

64
00:01:48,716 --> 00:01:50,893
Uh, no, I don't want
to get back together.

65
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,546
This is about the musical.

66
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,375
I bet you're doing
the Die Hardone, right?

67
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,072
He let me read it
when we were dating.

68
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,335
That's it, Courtney.
Just remember the good times.

69
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,772
Anyway, I'd love to be in it.

70
00:02:00,945 --> 00:02:03,123
And I've been taking
a hip-hop dance class...

71
00:02:03,296 --> 00:02:05,733
[muttering]:
I my am Courtney I am...

72
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:08,039
I like to give...
and I go to the...

73
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,564
I... ho ho, and this...

74
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,218
the ho ho, and now I'm done.

75
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,525
[breathing hard]:
So, yeah.

76
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:15,743
First of all, I love it.

77
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,266
Second of all, no.

78
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,877
Only because I want
my play to be good.

79
00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,227
I totally get it.

80
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,444
That dance was horrible,

81
00:02:21,618 --> 00:02:22,881
and I'm really annoying.

82
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:24,099
Anyway, bye!

83
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,927
What?
I didn't say that.

84
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,015
But I think I captured

85
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,016
the spirit of your words.

86
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,539
I am not annoying.

87
00:02:29,713 --> 00:02:30,889
Well...Yeah, you are.

88
00:02:31,062 --> 00:02:32,063
Yeah, it's bad.

89
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,762
Well, I remember
it this way.

90
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,719
May I be in your
Die Hardmusical, please?

91
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:36,895
No! I like tacos!

92
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,026
[farts]

93
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:38,853
Yeah, that
sounds like Gene.

94
00:02:39,027 --> 00:02:39,942
Yep.

95
00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:41,944
Anyway, along came the day

96
00:02:42,117 --> 00:02:43,901
we were all supposed
to submit our plays...

97
00:02:44,075 --> 00:02:45,729
So what's your
fall musical about?

98
00:02:45,903 --> 00:02:47,253
Leaves.
[blows note]

99
00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:49,430
♪ Red, yellow,
orange and brown ♪

100
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,909
♪ They're on the tree
then they fall down. ♪

101
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:54,043
Good...[piano playing]

102
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,913
Wait, who's in there now?

103
00:02:56,087 --> 00:02:57,960
♪ I've got the passion
of a woman ♪

104
00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,656
♪ Looking for her start ♪

105
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:03,443
♪ And the only thing
bigger than my hair ♪

106
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:06,010
[off-key]:
♪ Is my heart! ♪

107
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,275
And that's just one
of the amazing songs

108
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,493
from Working Girl,
the Musical!

109
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,974
Courtney!
You stole my thunder!

110
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,497
No, I didn't.

111
00:03:14,671 --> 00:03:16,325
So it's just a coincidence

112
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,372
you took a beloved movie
from the 1980s--

113
00:03:18,545 --> 00:03:21,157
some say the sassy
sister film to Die Hard--

114
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:23,507
and set it to music and lyrics?
Thunder thief!

115
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,987
I'm sorry, but that
keyboard is adorable.

116
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,336
Did you rescue it
from a shelter?

117
00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:28,903
Nice one, Daddy.

118
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,949
Well, where'd you get
your keyboard, Doug,

119
00:03:31,122 --> 00:03:32,776
the Too-Big Keyboard Store?

120
00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:34,300
Enough keyboard insults.

121
00:03:34,474 --> 00:03:35,954
Gene, it'll be your turn
in a minute

122
00:03:36,127 --> 00:03:37,304
and we can hear what you've got.

123
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:38,956
You'll hear what
I've got, all right.

124
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:41,133
Because it is very audible!

125
00:03:41,307 --> 00:03:44,788
[chanting]:
Nakatomi, Nakatomi,
Nakatomi, Nakatomi,

126
00:03:44,962 --> 00:03:46,661
Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi...

127
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,531
Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.

128
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,447
But I haven't even...It's fine, don't worry.

129
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:51,579
Thank you.

130
00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:53,014
Peter, you can
come in now.

131
00:03:53,188 --> 00:03:55,322
Ready to catch my fall musical?

132
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,324
It's fall, y'all!

133
00:03:57,497 --> 00:03:59,063
Ms. LaBonz, did I mention
that I know Carly Simon,

134
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,326
the artist behind
the Working Girlanthem

135
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,893
"Let the River Run,"

136
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,460
and if we do our play,
she'll come to the show?

137
00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:04,939
We're doing Working Girl!

138
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,115
Yeah!All right!

139
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,335
Aah!
Oh.

140
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,813
Oh, my poor baby!

141
00:04:09,987 --> 00:04:12,207
My baby.Lin, not so hard.

142
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,469
Can we please
stay focused here?

143
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:14,731
We absolutely can,
Mr. Frond.

144
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,298
Let me take over.

145
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,867
You see, being
the generous soul that I am,

146
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,999
I had to step in
and help a brother out.

147
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,393
Louise, why are we
in the boiler room?

148
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,917
I want to just go home
and crawl into bed

149
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,788
and have a good, long
dutch oven cry.

150
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,050
Buck up, Gene.

151
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,531
It's like I scream
into my pillow

152
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,314
every time I don't get
a horse on my birthday:

153
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:33,707
there's always
next year!

154
00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:36,057
Guys! There's a
secret boiler room

155
00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:37,886
in the back of the boiler room
that no one knows about.

156
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,191
I think, in the olden days,

157
00:04:39,365 --> 00:04:41,019
they used it as
the faculty opium den.

158
00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:43,108
Great.
So why are we here?

159
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,893
We're here because this room

160
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,024
happens to be under
the very auditorium

161
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,680
where Working Girl, the Musical
is gonna be performed.

162
00:04:49,853 --> 00:04:51,855
Then this is where
I want to die!

163
00:04:52,029 --> 00:04:53,728
No, listen!
You're gonna put on

164
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:55,643
the guerilla-slash-protest
production

165
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:59,254
of Die Hard, the Musical
on the same night, in here!

166
00:04:59,428 --> 00:05:01,300
It's the perfect way
to stick it to Courtney,

167
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,040
right in her
thunder-stealing face!

168
00:05:03,214 --> 00:05:04,781
[gasps]
It's brilliant!

169
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,305
The symbolism!

170
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,396
We'll be up-staging her
from down-stairs-stage!

171
00:05:09,569 --> 00:05:10,918
No, what's
brilliant is

172
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,269
we're going to charge
five bucks a head.

173
00:05:13,442 --> 00:05:15,139
Wow!
What a considerate

174
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,925
and lucrative solution
to Gene's problem.
I know!

175
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,449
You're the smartest person
in the whole world!

176
00:05:19,622 --> 00:05:20,798
I know!

177
00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:22,322
[chanting]:
Louise is the best!

178
00:05:22,495 --> 00:05:24,975
Louise is the best!
Louise is the best!

179
00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:26,848
Louise is the best!

180
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,937
What?

181
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,725
What's taking so long?
Waiting's gross.

182
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,204
Yeah, the show must go on!

183
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:37,511
That's a thing, right?

184
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,643
Well, Gene, you
violated school rules

185
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,601
by entering the prohibited
secret boiler room...

186
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,211
Yup.

187
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,300
You decided to put on
a guerilla-slash-protest play

188
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,781
the same night as
the fall musical...Amazing.

189
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:50,305
Things are not stacking up
in your favor here.

190
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,307
Do you want the whole story

191
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,961
or not, Mr. Frond?

192
00:05:53,134 --> 00:05:54,483
Oh, my God, every word.
I could do this all night.

193
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,704
So things were really
coming together...

194
00:05:56,877 --> 00:05:59,009
Okay, we got the musical,
we got the venue.

195
00:05:59,183 --> 00:06:00,838
Now all we need
is the actors.

196
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,492
Right. Do you know
Sir Ian McKellen?

197
00:06:02,665 --> 00:06:03,841
No.
Crap.

198
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:05,146
Hello, Courtney.

199
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:06,627
Cool piece of paper.

200
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,411
Gene, if you're here to try out

201
00:06:08,584 --> 00:06:09,716
for Working Girl, the Musical,
you're too late.

202
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,196
I'm posting
the cast list right now.

203
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,632
But I suppose I
could work you in,

204
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:13,807
as like a really
stupid stapler

205
00:06:13,981 --> 00:06:15,156
or a desk
or something.

206
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,637
I'd be an
incredible stapler!

207
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,115
But don't even worry about it,

208
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,422
'cause I'm putting on a pl...Weight!

209
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,031
He's putting on
a lot of weight,

210
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,947
not being in any plays or
talking about other plays

211
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,992
that could get
him in trouble.

212
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,951
Oh, right...

213
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,387
Oh, well, good luck
with your weight gain.

214
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,084
Looks like you're
almost there, bye!

215
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,651
Thank you.

216
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,305
You guys,
I'm secretary number one!

217
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,959
Eat it, two and three!

218
00:06:35,132 --> 00:06:36,177
Yay!

219
00:06:36,351 --> 00:06:37,526
Aw, man.
Come on!

220
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,007
Well, Mom, I guess I don't have

221
00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:40,661
the dashing good looks and charm

222
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,531
of a medium-young Harrison Ford.

223
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:45,012
I think I've
found our cast.

224
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:48,058
LOUISE:
May I present the People
that Didn't Get Cast

225
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,670
in Courtney's Play But Still
Want to Be in a Play Players.

226
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,542
Yep, did not make the cut.

227
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,588
I guess I'll have to win
an Oscar for wrestling.

228
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,850
Is it because I can't notsing
like Mariah Carey?

229
00:06:57,024 --> 00:06:59,418
♪ I can't help it. ♪

230
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,202
We stepped on each
other's lines.
We stepped on
each other's lines.

231
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:03,204
Miss Merkin, what
are you doing here?

232
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:07,165
I've played piano for the
Wagstaff Musical for 24 years.

233
00:07:07,338 --> 00:07:09,559
Then Doug comes in
and pushes me out!

234
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,387
Well, how are you
with a Casio?

235
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,824
[plays beautiful riff,
adds dog bark]

236
00:07:13,997 --> 00:07:15,521
I think I can manage.

237
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:16,913
Oh, wait.
We still need a girl

238
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,307
to play Holly
Gennaro McClane.

239
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,526
So I guess
that's you?
Oh, no way.

240
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,398
I'm that blond bad-ass
guy or nothing.

241
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,225
Fine, then it's Tina.
Where is Tina?

242
00:07:24,399 --> 00:07:26,009
TINA:
♪ I'm Katherine Parker ♪

243
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:27,968
♪ And I'm super rich ♪

244
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:31,101
♪ And soon you will find
that I'm quite a... bleep. ♪

245
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,713
Okay, so
I betrayed Gene

246
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,062
by being in
Courtney's play,

247
00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:35,932
but I have a perfectly
good explanation.

248
00:07:36,106 --> 00:07:39,197
♪ I'm a business man
with a business plan ♪

249
00:07:39,370 --> 00:07:42,853
♪ I need a business woman
with some business hands... ♪

250
00:07:43,026 --> 00:07:44,158
So, yeah.

251
00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:45,552
Oh, God.

252
00:07:45,725 --> 00:07:46,552
But your characters don't even

253
00:07:46,726 --> 00:07:48,163
end up together!

254
00:07:48,336 --> 00:07:49,730
We're all allowed to interpret
the movie differently.

255
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:50,512
No, they definitely
don't end up together.

256
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:51,557
Eh, to each his own.

257
00:07:51,731 --> 00:07:52,601
No, they
really don't.

258
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,168
Well, comme ci comme ça.

259
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,343
All right, well, now
you're just saying words.

260
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:56,911
C'est la vie.

261
00:07:57,084 --> 00:07:59,740
Anyway, it was the day
before the big show.

262
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,697
Some of you might
call it yesterday...

263
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,439
See you at my play
tomorrow night.

264
00:08:03,612 --> 00:08:05,701
I wrote a play, we're doing it
tomorrow, see you there.

265
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:07,704
Where? Wait...
You hear that?

266
00:08:07,877 --> 00:08:09,139
It's the sound of
me having a play

267
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:10,925
and you not having one!
It sounds like,

268
00:08:11,098 --> 00:08:13,492
♪ Yeah, I have a play
and you don't have a play ♪

269
00:08:13,666 --> 00:08:15,276
♪ I have a play,
you don't have a play... ♪

270
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,845
Aah! I'll show you,
Courtney Wheeler!

271
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:20,281
In a way that I can't
tell you about right now!

272
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,413
So never mind! Bye!

273
00:08:22,588 --> 00:08:24,939
♪ Why did you throw
that corpse on my car? ♪

274
00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:28,072
♪ 'Cause I'm inviting you
to the party, pal ♪

275
00:08:28,245 --> 00:08:30,771
♪ Think we're gonna
be great pals ♪

276
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,643
♪ Al and John,
John and Al... ♪

277
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,253
Now come here.
I'm gonna wrestle ya.

278
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,645
Get over here!Ow! Okay...

279
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,081
Come on!GENE:
No, no, no, no!

280
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:39,519
John McClane
is in a tower.

281
00:08:39,692 --> 00:08:41,650
Sergeant Al Powell
is on the ground!

282
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,086
You can't wrestle!

283
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,133
I made a creative choice.Very bold.

284
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:46,613
And Rudy, you're moving
your hands too much.

285
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,135
And quit wheezing!

286
00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:50,006
[wheezing]:
I'm sorry, the asbestos might be

287
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,443
affecting my lungs a little,
but I'll work on it.

288
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,272
Um, can we turn down the heat?

289
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,664
Yeah, it's boiling
up in here!

290
00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:56,971
It's the boiler
room, Zeke!

291
00:08:57,144 --> 00:08:58,625
It's what it does!

292
00:08:58,798 --> 00:09:00,451
It's like you guys
don't even care about this

293
00:09:00,626 --> 00:09:02,323
guerilla-slash-protest musical

294
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,107
designed to take down Courtney
and send us to Broadway!

295
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,500
Uh, Gene.

296
00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:06,720
[clears throat]
A... a word?
Mm-hmm.

297
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,330
The play is
tomorrow night.

298
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:09,809
We gotta get
it together.

299
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,375
Give 'em a pep
talk, you know?

300
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,986
Put some fire
in their butts!

301
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,815
Is the putting
a fire in the butt

302
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:15,990
part of the inspiration,

303
00:09:16,163 --> 00:09:17,077
or is that
a separate suggestion?

304
00:09:17,251 --> 00:09:18,948
Ugh, damn it.
Fine.

305
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,168
Listen up: I wrote an
incredible musical.

306
00:09:21,342 --> 00:09:23,823
And I thought together we'd
create the kind of theater

307
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,695
that would make the gods cry.

308
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,349
But now I'm like,
"What am I, nuts?"

309
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,697
You're all blowing it!

310
00:09:28,871 --> 00:09:30,351
Zeke with your wrestling,

311
00:09:30,525 --> 00:09:31,831
Darryl and your
extra-note singing,

312
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,355
Crazy Arm Rudy over here!

313
00:09:33,528 --> 00:09:34,616
Andy and Ollie,

314
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,663
FBI agents don't hold hands!

315
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,229
These ones do.

316
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,361
Yeah, and they sleep
in the same bed.

317
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,625
And now I'm realizing
that the only way

318
00:09:42,798 --> 00:09:44,365
to make this production shine

319
00:09:44,539 --> 00:09:46,846
is if I fire all of you
and play all the roles myself!

320
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,239
Uh... [chuckling]

321
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,327
Say what?Except for Miss Merkin.

322
00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:52,025
You're my rock, girl.Thank you.

323
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,331
And I've been thinking
about getting you

324
00:09:53,504 --> 00:09:54,681
drums and maybe
a cute top.

325
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:55,899
You cool with that?You know it.

326
00:09:56,072 --> 00:09:57,552
So congratulations,

327
00:09:57,726 --> 00:09:59,729
the rest of you
have been demoted to stagehands

328
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,514
on Die Hard, the Musical,
a one-Gene show!

329
00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:03,994
Hurray.

330
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:05,386
It's gonna kick ass.

331
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,000
So you fired the cast
and made it Die Hard,
the Musical,

332
00:10:11,174 --> 00:10:12,220
a one-man show?

333
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,004
Yes, starring me. Gene. Yeah.

334
00:10:14,177 --> 00:10:15,265
Okay, well,
I've come to the part

335
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,658
where I blame the parents.

336
00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:18,399
Bob, Linda...Hi.
Uh-huh?

337
00:10:18,573 --> 00:10:20,009
I'm blaming you.
Yeah.
Oh.

338
00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:21,750
Why didn't you step in
and do something here?

339
00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:23,230
Hey, we don't know
all the crazy crap

340
00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:25,232
our kids are doing.We don't want to know.

341
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,191
But I did start
to get suspicious

342
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,105
when we were walking
into the fall musical

343
00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:31,282
and I found this weird
thing in my pocket.

344
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197
♪ Musical! Musical! ♪

345
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:36,635
♪ Time to watch your sister
in a musical! ♪

346
00:10:36,809 --> 00:10:38,245
Wait, what's this weird
thing in my pocket?

347
00:10:38,419 --> 00:10:39,812
LOUISE:
See you in there!

348
00:10:39,986 --> 00:10:41,683
"You are invited
to attend the performance

349
00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:43,076
"of Die Hard, the Musical,

350
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,730
"a one-Gene show,

351
00:10:44,904 --> 00:10:46,384
in the secret boiler room
at school tonight."

352
00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:48,908
Gene's in a musical
at school, too? Tonight?

353
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,823
Oh, my God, our kids are
in competing musicals!

354
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,520
I always dreamed this
night would happen.

355
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:53,913
Aw...
That's your dream?

356
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,915
Yeah, Tina's the
president and this.

357
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,395
Well, I guess one of us
should go to Gene's play.

358
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,615
I call Working Girl!

359
00:10:59,788 --> 00:11:01,095
Ugh, fine, I'll
go backstage

360
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,443
to wish Tina good luck.

361
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:05,142
Hey, my little
Sigourney Weaver-achiever.

362
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:06,490
How's your
stage fright, honey?

363
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,668
It just so happens I
found the only cure.

364
00:11:08,841 --> 00:11:10,191
[whispering]:
It's his butt.

365
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,322
Dad, Jocelyn's shoulder
pads are too big!

366
00:11:12,496 --> 00:11:13,716
She's stuck in the doorway!

367
00:11:13,889 --> 00:11:15,109
[grunts]

368
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,413
Just kick her
from behind!

369
00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:17,807
Sheesh! Theater people!

370
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:18,807
So dramatic.

371
00:11:18,981 --> 00:11:20,157
God, I love it.
[laughs]

372
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,768
♪ I want to sing,
I want to dance ♪

373
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,421
♪ I want to act,
I want to play! ♪

374
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:24,726
Um, Mom?

375
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:25,772
♪ Yeah... ♪
Oh, sorry.

376
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,426
No! This is
Carly Simon's seat.

377
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,993
Are you Carly Simon?

378
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,125
Uh, no.

379
00:11:31,298 --> 00:11:32,517
I know you're not!

380
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,562
Wow. Carly Simon's
gonna be here?!

381
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:35,563
Psst, Dad!

382
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,392
What?
Come with me.

383
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:39,437
Oh, um, I think your mom was
gonna go to Gene's weird play,

384
00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:41,308
and I was gonna stay
here and watch Tina.

385
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,049
Uh, I don't think so.

386
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,269
We need your giant body to make
the audience look fuller!

387
00:11:45,442 --> 00:11:47,270
But Working Girl'sthe
film that inspired me

388
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:48,924
to be anything
I wanted to be!

389
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:51,187
And so you're this?
Come on, Dad!

390
00:11:51,361 --> 00:11:52,754
[sighs]
Fine.

391
00:11:52,928 --> 00:11:55,322
Hey, if you want to see some
real, gritty theater,

392
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,455
we got Die Hard, the Musical
down in the basement.

393
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,892
Only five bucks!

394
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,197
Louise, don't bother
these people.

395
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,024
Plus, that's not gonna work.
Oh.

396
00:12:02,198 --> 00:12:03,852
I'm a Die Hardfreak.
Check it out.

397
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,028
Bonnie Bedelia.

398
00:12:05,201 --> 00:12:06,202
Also, I'm
just an uncle,

399
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:07,682
so no biggie.
[chuckles]

400
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:09,772
LOUISE:
Here ya go, champ.

401
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:10,947
Geez, it's hot in here.

402
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,296
Whoa, is that a rat?Yes, it is.

403
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,514
Huh.

404
00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:14,864
I guess Bob went
to Gene's play.

405
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,519
My son's doing
Die Hard, the Musical,

406
00:12:17,692 --> 00:12:18,649
in the basement.

407
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,129
It's a competing musical.

408
00:12:20,303 --> 00:12:21,653
It's competing with this one
right now.

409
00:12:21,827 --> 00:12:22,741
Shh!

410
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:23,743
Aah, you're jealous.Shh.

411
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,527
♪ This is a boat ♪

412
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:28,008
♪ A boat that is a ferry ♪

413
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,183
♪ Ferry on the water ♪

414
00:12:30,357 --> 00:12:33,187
♪ Staten Island Ferry ♪

415
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,711
♪ I'm a working girl ♪

416
00:12:36,885 --> 00:12:39,759
♪ A workin' working girl ♪

417
00:12:39,932 --> 00:12:42,849
♪ I'm a girl
who's working ♪

418
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:45,024
♪ I work... ♪

419
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:50,246
♪ In New York Ci... ty ♪

420
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:55,557
GENE: All aboard the plane
from New York to Los Angeles!

421
00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,558
[imitating airplane engines]

422
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,169
Thanks, Argyle.

423
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,519
Boy, that guy
on the airplane was right

424
00:13:01,692 --> 00:13:03,565
about taking my shoes off.

425
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,221
♪ I'm a barefoot cop... oh! ♪

426
00:13:08,395 --> 00:13:10,267
♪ Coffee, coffee ♪♪ Coffee, coffee♪

427
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,399
♪ Coffee's all I get ♪♪ Coffee, coffee♪

428
00:13:12,573 --> 00:13:14,576
♪ How'm I gonna get ahead... ♪♪ Coffee, coffee...♪

429
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,403
GENE:
♪ I'm Grubin' ♪

430
00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:18,580
♪ I'm Hans Gruber
and I'm Grubin' ♪

431
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:22,062
♪ And sometimes that
can mean shootin' ♪

432
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,716
♪ Mr. Takagi in the head... ♪

433
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,587
♪ Hey, this is Katherine,
you work for me ♪

434
00:13:26,761 --> 00:13:29,068
♪ I've broken my leg
while trying to ski ♪

435
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,114
♪ Do me a favor
and fill in for me ♪

436
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:32,812
♪ Even though I stole
your radio deal idea ♪

437
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:33,899
♪ For Trask
Industries... ♪

438
00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:35,249
You did what?!

439
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,119
That's my daughter!

440
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,250
Shh!
Jealous.

441
00:13:37,424 --> 00:13:38,600
This is everything

442
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,601
that's wrong
with Broadway today.

443
00:13:40,775 --> 00:13:43,299
Die Hard,one-man-show,
in the basement.

444
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,213
Blow your mind!

445
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,389
Okay.

446
00:13:45,562 --> 00:13:46,476
Aw, I'm missing it!

447
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,043
Maybe I can pop down for a bit.

448
00:13:48,217 --> 00:13:49,350
There I go.

449
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,482
♪ Fight scene, fight scene ♪

450
00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:54,268
♪ We're gonna have
a fight scene ♪

451
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,575
[grunting]

452
00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:58,880
Oh, my God.

453
00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:00,317
Eh, 'scuse me,
eh, 'scuse me.

454
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,231
I know, right?
He's magnificent!

455
00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:03,711
Ooh, it's warm in here.

456
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,061
Hey, did Louise
charge you five bucks?

457
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:06,409
Yes.
Ooh, rat!

458
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,282
♪ I have a head for business ♪

459
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:09,849
♪ And a bod for sin ♪

460
00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:13,287
♪ Well I want both,
so count me in! ♪

461
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,115
Smile. Smile!

462
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,292
What the hell?

463
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:19,815
Where is everybody?!
Hey, hey, hey!

464
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,643
Where are you going?Uh... nowhere.

465
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,950
And, uh, not to the Die Hard
musical in the basement.

466
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,298
Great job, Jimmy Jr.!
[whoops]

467
00:14:25,472 --> 00:14:26,517
Thanks, Dad.

468
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:27,953
Where the hell
is Carly Simon?!

469
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,563
She, uh, left a message!

470
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,609
She's getting drive through...
for everyone.

471
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,611
♪ Oh, the life
of the wife of a cop ♪

472
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:37,832
♪ Makes my head spin
around like a top... ♪

473
00:14:38,006 --> 00:14:39,442
Hey, hey! Five bucks!

474
00:14:39,616 --> 00:14:41,096
What's going on?!

475
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:42,576
You're doing your
Die Hardmusical?!

476
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:44,100
Oh, I love the
Holly Gennaro McClane number.

477
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,100
Oh, my God!

478
00:14:45,274 --> 00:14:46,188
He's musical battling us.

479
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,321
I've seen it
a million times!

480
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,582
Stop it!

481
00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:50,498
Stop that singing
right now!

482
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,500
Nobody tells my son
to stop singing!

483
00:14:52,673 --> 00:14:54,023
Well, actually, I've
probably seen enough.

484
00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:55,633
Keep going, baby!

485
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,200
♪ That Johnny McClane's ♪

486
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,985
♪ Driving this gal insane... ♪

487
00:14:59,158 --> 00:15:01,335
I'll make him stop.

488
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,640
[slow-motion]:
Daddy, no!

489
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,164
[grunting in slow motion]

490
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:06,948
[audience gasping]

491
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,690
[slow-motion]:
Huh?

492
00:15:09,298 --> 00:15:10,865
[gasping]
Ugh!
Wow.

493
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:14,347
Yes! That man hit my son
with a shoulder pad.

494
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:15,870
Hold on!

495
00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:18,004
I accidentally grabbed
a shoulder pad,

496
00:15:18,177 --> 00:15:20,092
maybe it went flying,
maybe not.

497
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,615
And then she
came after me!

498
00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:23,269
And Bob pushed me!

499
00:15:23,443 --> 00:15:24,879
Hey, I was just pushing you
away from Linda.

500
00:15:25,053 --> 00:15:26,011
She's crazy.

501
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:26,969
That's right, honey!

502
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,536
Oh, my God. I'm rich.

503
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:29,884
What?
Nothing.

504
00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:31,495
Well, I think
I've heard everything.

505
00:15:31,668 --> 00:15:33,409
Great, let's all go watch
the end of my play.

506
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,673
I hear the finale
is amazing.

507
00:15:35,846 --> 00:15:37,587
No, no, my play!

508
00:15:37,761 --> 00:15:39,241
Nobody wants to watch you
running around changing wigs!

509
00:15:39,415 --> 00:15:40,895
Tell that
to British Parliament!

510
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,331
I-I have to admit,
watching one person

511
00:15:42,505 --> 00:15:43,725
do Die Hardis
a little... bad.

512
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,552
[gasps]
Father!

513
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:48,076
Hey, at least Gene's was raw!
From the gut.

514
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,514
Courtney's was all slick
like a kid didn't even do it.

515
00:15:50,687 --> 00:15:52,864
That's because a kid
could never do it. Never!

516
00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:54,518
Oh, yeah?

517
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,216
My son's not the one
who promised Carly Simon,

518
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,695
and then left
everyone hanging!

519
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,914
She just texted me
that she was car-jacked,

520
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,743
but she's still going
to try to make it!

521
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:03,701
So we should finish
our play, Mr. Frond.

522
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,051
Yeah!

523
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,399
[stammers]
No, no, no, no, no.

524
00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:08,140
My mother was right.

525
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,099
This musical theater stuff is
just too dangerous.

526
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:11,753
So for the safety of everyone,

527
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,668
there will be no more
musicals tonight.

528
00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:15,104
And maybe ever!

529
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,365
LOUISE: What?LINDA and TINA: No!

530
00:16:16,539 --> 00:16:17,802
I don't know if I have
that authority,

531
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,239
but at least for tonight,
it's finished.

532
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:20,587
Oh, come on!No!

533
00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:25,897
Tina, what happened?

534
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:26,942
Are we gonna finish
the play?

535
00:16:27,115 --> 00:16:28,248
No, come here.

536
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,249
Shh-shh-shh.
Come here, come here.

537
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,510
We'll get through this.

538
00:16:30,684 --> 00:16:31,860
I-I-I don't want...
No. No, thanks.

539
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,427
Okay, time to go home,
everyone.

540
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,427
Show's over.

541
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:35,820
[all groaning]

542
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,735
Yeah, the whole night
was a bust.

543
00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:39,346
Come on, Gene.
Let's go home.

544
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:45,568
Wait! Mr. Frond!

545
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:46,570
What?

546
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:47,875
I guess one boy,

547
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,442
no matter how talented...

548
00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:51,357
and charismatic...
and likable...

549
00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:54,447
doesn't have the right to ruin
musicals for everyone.

550
00:16:54,621 --> 00:16:56,754
So, Courtney,
you finish your play.

551
00:16:56,927 --> 00:16:57,798
Aw, Gene.

552
00:16:57,972 --> 00:16:59,018
So noble!

553
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,671
No, Gene.
You were right.

554
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,586
I did steal your thunder.

555
00:17:02,759 --> 00:17:04,500
Working Girl isthe sassy
sister film to Die Hard.

556
00:17:04,674 --> 00:17:06,286
Everybody knows that.

557
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,766
I was just so mad you wouldn't
let me be in your play.

558
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:12,422
Well, maybe we can be
in each other's plays.

559
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:13,944
I... What?!

560
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:15,685
We just need three and a half
hours to prepare.

561
00:17:15,859 --> 00:17:17,339
Gene, it's 9:30, and I have
a lot of sweat in my underwear.

562
00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:18,471
Fine, fine.

563
00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:19,951
25 minutes.

564
00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:21,778
[stammers]
No way, Gene. This is done.

565
00:17:21,952 --> 00:17:23,477
Aw, too bad.

566
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,260
Seems like that conflict
resolution could've been epic.

567
00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:26,480
Maybe award winning.

568
00:17:26,653 --> 00:17:28,089
Oh, my God.

569
00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:29,526
You think I could win
a Conflicty for this?!

570
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,571
Yeah, you could win a Conflicty!

571
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,313
Let's do it!

572
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,836
[all cheering]

573
00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:37,098
All right,
come on, everybody!

574
00:17:37,272 --> 00:17:38,144
Take my hands.

575
00:17:38,317 --> 00:17:39,318
No, wait, wait.Whoa.

576
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,798
We got to do this ourselves.

577
00:17:40,971 --> 00:17:43,148
It's what Tess McGill
would've wanted.

578
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,498
But Courtney,
honey...

579
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,194
[muffled mumbling]Sometimes... Shh!

580
00:17:46,368 --> 00:17:47,805
Sometimes to break
through the glass ceiling,

581
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,328
you got to break
some hearts.

582
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,156
And glass.

583
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,161
You probably think
this slap is about you.

584
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,423
Ow!

585
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,164
So I don't know
if we can pull this off,

586
00:17:59,338 --> 00:18:01,340
I mean, we wrote and rehearsed
it in under 20 minutes,

587
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,558
but if we do,

588
00:18:02,732 --> 00:18:03,820
it's because we did it together.

589
00:18:03,994 --> 00:18:04,996
All of us.

590
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,388
That's exactly what people say

591
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:07,999
before they make a baby,
I think.

592
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:10,567
Okay, well,
without any further ado,

593
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:14,180
we present to you the musical
rom-com-slash-action-thriller,

594
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:17,356
Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl.

595
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,361
Oh, no!

596
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:22,884
We're a bunch of secretaries
from New York

597
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:25,016
held hostage in
Nakatomi Towers!

598
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,321
Shush!

599
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,324
I'm Karl, the one
with beautiful hair!

600
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,500
I'm Hans Gruber.
Consider yourself Grubed!

601
00:18:30,673 --> 00:18:31,980
Tess McGill can't let

602
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,894
a bunch of terrorists
ruin her dream.

603
00:18:34,068 --> 00:18:36,027
I hope the police
come soon.

604
00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:38,551
Ow! Glass!
Hurtin' John McClane's feet!

605
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:39,901
♪ I'm Agent Johnson ♪

606
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,207
♪ And I'm Agent Johnson ♪

607
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,383
♪ And we're from the FBI ♪

608
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,211
♪ I'm Johnson ♪He's Johnson!

609
00:18:45,384 --> 00:18:46,864
♪ He's Johnson ♪I'm Johnson!

610
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,778
BOTH: ♪ Two fancy-footed
federal guys ♪

611
00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:51,130
♪ I might just be
a local cop ♪

612
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:54,394
♪ But will you guys
back off me? ♪

613
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,961
♪ Things are getting
pretty tense ♪

614
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,747
♪ Does anybody
want coffee? ♪

615
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:03,271
You know we're not so
different, you and I.

616
00:19:03,445 --> 00:19:05,709
♪ We're both
ambitious, Hans ♪

617
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,582
Tess McGill, you've stolen
this Gruber's heart.

618
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,585
♪ Like I'm stealing ♪♪ Like you're stealing ♪

619
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,413
♪ These bearer bonds ♪

620
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,807
♪ I cracked the co... de ♪

621
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,374
So here's
the bearer bonds.

622
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:19,941
Which is the same
as money, I guess.

623
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,508
Hey, let's make
that radio deal.

624
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:22,509
Hip hop?

625
00:19:22,682 --> 00:19:23,465
Hip hop.

626
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,121
♪ ♪

627
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,165
Mwah!

628
00:19:27,339 --> 00:19:28,950
That's not in the script.

629
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,082
Just go with it--
they love it!

630
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,432
Is that two rows
of teeth I'm feeling?

631
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,130
My baby teeth
never fell out.

632
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,262
And Jack Trainer and I
are a couple now as well,

633
00:19:37,436 --> 00:19:39,307
so that's good.Hip hop. Hip hop.

634
00:19:39,481 --> 00:19:41,309
♪ Hans, you're feeling
love's great power ♪

635
00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:43,573
♪ But now I got to push you
off the tower! ♪

636
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,052
Now come here.
I'm gonna get ya.

637
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,663
Come on.

638
00:19:46,836 --> 00:19:48,970
[screams]

639
00:19:52,973 --> 00:19:54,801
I'm so mad
about my brother

640
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,106
so I kill you
about it!

641
00:19:56,281 --> 00:19:57,500
No...!

642
00:19:57,673 --> 00:19:59,762
[screams]

643
00:19:59,936 --> 00:20:01,025
Thanks, Al!

644
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,679
If only there
was a place

645
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,159
where we could all be
happy and not get killed!

646
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:07,641
ALL:
♪ Maybe there's a tower ♪

647
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:10,164
♪ Somewhere up above ♪

648
00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:13,124
♪ Filled with bearer bonds
and love ♪

649
00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:17,346
♪ Where dreams don't die hard ♪

650
00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:20,131
♪ Maybe there's a tower ♪

651
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,134
♪ Somewhere up above ♪

652
00:20:23,308 --> 00:20:26,660
♪ Filled with shoulder pads
and love ♪

653
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:31,359
♪ Where dreams can fly hard ♪

654
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:36,886
♪ But until we can live
in that imaginary world ♪

655
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:44,067
♪ We'll work hard
or die trying, girl. ♪

656
00:20:44,807 --> 00:20:46,114
Yes! Yes!
[whoops]

657
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,984
Oh, my God!

658
00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:49,029
Carly Simon?

659
00:20:49,203 --> 00:20:50,161
Who?

660
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,205
Oh, sorry. Y-You...

661
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:52,511
you look
like Carly Simon.

662
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:53,512
Youlook like
Carly Simon.

663
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:54,513
It's a compliment.

664
00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:55,515
Back off.

665
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:56,516
Sorry. Geez.

666
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,257
I smell a Tony!

667
00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,693
Which is also what happens to be
what I call my farts.

668
00:21:00,867 --> 00:21:01,955
♪ Work hard...♪

669
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:04,914
♪ Or die trying, girl♪

670
00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:08,005
WOMAN: ♪ Ooh, you work hard,
you die hard ♪

671
00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:09,180
♪ Work hard♪GENE: You work hard!

672
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,921
ZEKE:
Come on, come on!

673
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:13,228
WOMAN: ♪ Oh! ♪♪ Or die trying, girl♪

674
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:15,577
♪ You work hard, you try hard ♪

675
00:21:15,751 --> 00:21:17,537
♪ Ooh... ♪♪ Work hard♪

676
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,320
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪♪ Or die trying, girl♪

677
00:21:19,494 --> 00:21:20,539
GENE:
Yeah!

678
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,192
♪ You work hard, you die hard ♪

679
00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:23,281
♪ Work hard♪

680
00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:25,806
♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪

681
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,461
♪ Work hard... ♪♪ Or die trying, girl♪

682
00:21:28,634 --> 00:21:30,549
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

683
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,901
GENE:
♪ Ooh, yeah!♪