1 00:00:02,653 --> 00:00:04,613 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:19,975 --> 00:00:22,065 [blows nose] Sick? What? 3 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,024 [chuckles] I mean, barely. 4 00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:25,460 It's nothing. It's really nothing. 5 00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:26,939 [hacking] Achoo! [all groan] 6 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,811 Oh, God. 7 00:00:28,984 --> 00:00:31,769 I-I just don't think it's a good idea for you to go tonight. 8 00:00:31,943 --> 00:00:33,597 And miss the kids' "Mother's Day Assembly" at school? 9 00:00:33,771 --> 00:00:34,990 No way. 10 00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:36,731 You mean "Mothers and Primary Caregivers 11 00:00:36,905 --> 00:00:38,472 Appreciation Cabaret." 12 00:00:38,646 --> 00:00:40,692 Lin, nobody would be able to hear the performance 13 00:00:40,865 --> 00:00:41,954 over your constant coughing. 14 00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:43,652 Plus you'd get everyone sick 15 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,828 since you're terrible at covering your sneezes. 16 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,524 Achoo! Ugh. Ugh. 17 00:00:47,698 --> 00:00:48,831 That was all over me.Ugh. 18 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,484 Silly me without my poncho. 19 00:00:50,658 --> 00:00:53,314 Lin, what if I record the performance for you? 20 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,271 It's not the same thing. 21 00:00:55,445 --> 00:00:57,360 Whoa, is that the flux capacitor? 22 00:00:57,534 --> 00:00:59,146 Does that transform into anything? 23 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,539 No, but it records just fine. 24 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,628 Yeah, people are fools for using a higher quality machine 25 00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:04,760 that also fits in their pocket. 26 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:06,195 LINDA: But, Bob, 27 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,676 you're a terrible cameraman.What?! 28 00:01:08,850 --> 00:01:10,679 You're too worried about blocking people's view. 29 00:01:10,852 --> 00:01:13,115 A school function is not the place to be polite. 30 00:01:13,289 --> 00:01:15,162 Okay, I'll be more rude. 31 00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:16,510 Good. And I don't want to hear you 32 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,251 breathing into the mic either. 33 00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,992 It's like there's always a monster just off screen. 34 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,385 Don't breathe. Got it. 35 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,953 It'll be like you were there, Lin. 36 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,867 You promise?Promise. 37 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,347 All right, we got to go. 38 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,870 Everyone lift the camera on the count of three. 39 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,176 One, two... 40 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,700 [kids groaning] 41 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:35,746 Welcome. 42 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,879 In honor of Mother's Day on Sunday, 43 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,186 each of our grades will wow you with a song 44 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,188 or dazzle you with a skit. 45 00:01:42,362 --> 00:01:44,495 Mothers and mother-like caregivers, 46 00:01:44,668 --> 00:01:47,019 prepare to be appreciated. 47 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,890 [quietly]: Oh, God, squatting is so hard. 48 00:01:49,064 --> 00:01:51,240 And now, our fourth graders will take you back 49 00:01:51,414 --> 00:01:55,549 to the Old West, with "Mom on the Range!" 50 00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:58,117 [piano plays] 51 00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,902 [camcorder beeps]"End of tape"? 52 00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:02,469 No, no, no, no, no. Rewind faster. 53 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:05,908 KIDS [off-key]: ♪ Mom, Mom on the range♪ 54 00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:09,737 ♪ Where the dear and the mom-elope play♪ 55 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,566 All rewound. 56 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:12,914 And here we go. 57 00:02:13,088 --> 00:02:17,441 ♪ The end!♪ 58 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,225 Oh, crap, it's over. 59 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,401 Okay, at least I can get Gene and Tina's. 60 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,403 Two out of three. Not terrible. 61 00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,927 Our sixth graders have been studying myths. 62 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,885 Put your hands together for them, 63 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,280 ♪ ♪they're mythological and mytho-lovable, 64 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,718 the sixth grade! 65 00:02:35,676 --> 00:02:36,721 [camcorder beeps]BOB: "Battery dead"? 66 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:37,939 No, no, no. 67 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:39,376 Oh, I have the cord. 68 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,594 I just need an outlet. 69 00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:42,639 Excuse me, excuse me. 70 00:02:42,813 --> 00:02:44,251 KIDS: ♪ Our lives are eternal♪ 71 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,729 ♪ Are eternal♪ 72 00:02:45,903 --> 00:02:47,384 Dang it. 73 00:02:47,557 --> 00:02:48,776 KIDS: ♪ Your love is maternal♪ 74 00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:49,951 ♪ Maternal♪ 75 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,474 Ugh! 76 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:54,260 KIDS: ♪ That's gods for ya♪ 77 00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:55,262 BOB: All right. 78 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:57,960 ♪ The end♪ 79 00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,483 GENE: ♪ The end.♪ 80 00:02:59,656 --> 00:03:02,399 Damn it. Oh. Okay, I can still get Tina. 81 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:03,835 One is something, right? 82 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:07,229 And now, your favorite space cadets, 83 00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,188 the eighth graders! 84 00:03:09,362 --> 00:03:11,320 ♪ ♪All right, all right, here we, here we go. 85 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,931 ZEKE: Moms are very special people.[tape whirs] 86 00:03:13,104 --> 00:03:14,497 No, no, no, no, no. 87 00:03:14,671 --> 00:03:16,325 JIMMY JR.: That's why they're called moms. 88 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,240 Don't you die on me, camera. 89 00:03:18,414 --> 00:03:21,243 I guess you could say... 90 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,942 I guess Tina could say... 91 00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:25,466 It's your line, girl. 92 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,076 Oh. Moms are out of this world. 93 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,425 And stepmoms, right, Cheryl? 94 00:03:29,599 --> 00:03:31,167 Love you, girl!CHERYL: Whoo! 95 00:03:32,515 --> 00:03:33,647 [whimpers] 96 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,780 Dad, we have to go inside 97 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,694 at some point, that's our home. 98 00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:40,175 Plus, maybe it's okay that Mom that will never see that. 99 00:03:40,349 --> 00:03:42,222 'Cause it was awful.It was crap. 100 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,353 Hey, maybe she won't be that mad. 101 00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:46,704 What?! You didn't record it?! 102 00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:49,490 [sobbing loudly] 103 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,143 Oh, boy. Nothing?! 104 00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:52,492 My babies! 105 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,015 I'm so sorry, Lin. 106 00:03:54,189 --> 00:03:56,061 It's gone, it's all gone forever. 107 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,627 Choo! All over me. 108 00:03:57,801 --> 00:03:59,935 I mean, maybe you kids could kind of describe 109 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,371 the performance a little 110 00:04:01,544 --> 00:04:03,460 for your mom. That might help Dad. 111 00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:05,114 Me, I'm your dad. 112 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,681 [sighs] All right, tell me your performances. 113 00:04:07,855 --> 00:04:08,856 Just like they happened. 114 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,250 [blows loudly] 115 00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:11,686 Let me just get this last little bit out. 116 00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:12,903 [blowing loudly] 117 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,557 [whispering]: Hey, guys. 118 00:04:14,731 --> 00:04:17,387 We don't have to tell it exactly as it happened. 119 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,737 Right. Because that would be depressing for her. 120 00:04:20,911 --> 00:04:23,350 Yeah, I mean, we could goose the performances a little bit. 121 00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:24,699 Uh, yeah, yeah, do that. 122 00:04:24,872 --> 00:04:26,353 Yeah. Let's give Mom a real show. 123 00:04:26,526 --> 00:04:27,571 She deserves a good Mother's Day present. 124 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,355 Also, will you go before me? 125 00:04:29,529 --> 00:04:31,531 I don't know what "goose the performances" means. 126 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:32,880 [blows loudly] 127 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,882 Okay. [blows] Ugh, there she is. 128 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,536 Uh, Mother, I'll go first. 129 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,233 My class did a Western. 130 00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:39,843 It was pretty gritty, pretty raw. 131 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,192 It was called... 132 00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:44,413 "The Town with No Moms."Oh. 133 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,110 LOUISE: The set design was real impressive. 134 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,069 I mean, a bunch of kids stayed late to do it. 135 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:50,420 LINDA: Okay, all right. 136 00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:52,596 [glass shattering]LOUISE: It had been a normal old western town 137 00:04:52,769 --> 00:04:56,077 till Meanie McQueen came in, breaking glass and kicking ass. 138 00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:58,254 Which was bad for the sheriff. 139 00:04:58,427 --> 00:05:01,517 Once again, I'm gonna ask you nicely to stop doing that. 140 00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,259 Let me think about it.[glass shatters] 141 00:05:03,432 --> 00:05:05,435 Nope.Well, thanks for considering it. 142 00:05:05,608 --> 00:05:07,567 I do like your choice in jewelry. 143 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,569 I bet it'd look mighty good on me. 144 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,266 Give me it.I'd rather not. 145 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,572 Give me your badge, Sheriff! 146 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,356 No, I don't want to! 147 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:15,879 Ha! Now she's the sheriff! 148 00:05:16,053 --> 00:05:17,968 [Linda gasps] 149 00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:20,057 LOUISE: The moms of the town tried to stand up to Meanie, 150 00:05:20,231 --> 00:05:23,192 so Meanie and her goons locked them all up. 151 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,411 Hence the title of the play. 152 00:05:24,584 --> 00:05:26,064 "The Town with No Moms." 153 00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:27,456 Ah. Okay, yeah. 154 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:28,762 The sheriff knew he couldn't handle 155 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:29,937 Meanie McQueen on his own. 156 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,286 He needed help 157 00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:32,766 from the roughest, toughest, 158 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,725 cactus kicker he ever knew. 159 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,423 Mom? Hello, son. 160 00:05:36,596 --> 00:05:38,120 What you knitting?Spurs. 161 00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:39,817 I need your help. 162 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,644 I'm sure you do, but you never write, 163 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,735 you never call, you're critical of my life choices. 164 00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,824 You were a bad guy, Mom, an outlaw. 165 00:05:46,997 --> 00:05:48,738 What, are you still mad about me not going 166 00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,000 to your sheriff graduation? 167 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,480 Is that what this is about? 168 00:05:51,654 --> 00:05:55,137 I told you 100 times, I had business! 169 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,487 You were in jail!In jail on business! 170 00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:58,661 Lies! 171 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,925 Plus, I tried to break out, okay? 172 00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:02,362 Gosh. 173 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,711 Anyway, what brings you back home? 174 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,149 Well, a no-good meanie named Meanie McQueen 175 00:06:07,322 --> 00:06:09,151 took my badge and keys and threw all the moms 176 00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:11,240 in my town in jail. 177 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:14,329 Now it's a... town with no moms. 178 00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,158 Did you tell them in your big sheriff voice 179 00:06:16,331 --> 00:06:18,464 that you didn't like it when they threw all the moms in jail? 180 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,161 I think so. 181 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,163 Well, then, sounds like you need a little help. 182 00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,644 Let's do this. 183 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,819 ♪ ♪ 184 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,257 Guess what, Meanie McQueen? 185 00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:31,478 I told my mom on you. 186 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:37,961 Aw. The mom of the sheriff is an ex-outlaw. 187 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,442 I love it. 188 00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:42,183 And you're telling the story so well. 189 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,925 Achoo!And back to the story. We're gonna get sick. 190 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,971 The sheriff and his tough mom toughly walked in, 191 00:06:47,144 --> 00:06:48,276 looking tough. 192 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:51,062 Aw, you brought your mommy. 193 00:06:51,235 --> 00:06:53,021 That's right. Did I stutter? 194 00:06:53,194 --> 00:06:54,588 Because sometimes I stutter, 195 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,721 but I feel like I got that out pretty clearly. 196 00:06:57,894 --> 00:07:00,550 Ask the jailhouse full of moms if I'm scared of moms. 197 00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:03,379 And then ask them if they like mom jeans 198 00:07:03,552 --> 00:07:05,380 that were invented recently. 199 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,730 Listen, I don't like the way you're treating my boy. 200 00:07:07,904 --> 00:07:09,079 And you're gonna knock it off. 201 00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:10,821 Let me tell you what I'm gonna knock off. 202 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,387 I'm gonna knock off this glass. 203 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,824 Oh, dear.[Andy and Ollie whimper] 204 00:07:13,997 --> 00:07:15,870 And then I'm gonna knock that attitude 205 00:07:16,043 --> 00:07:17,872 right off of your face. 206 00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:20,221 Ha. I'd like to see you try. 207 00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,877 Taking care of you is gonna be a snap. 208 00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:24,052 [pops mouth] 209 00:07:24,225 --> 00:07:26,576 That sounds like a stretch. 210 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,709 Whoa, this is getting tense. 211 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,319 [deep, wheezing breath] 212 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,408 Rubber bands? What's with the rubber bands? 213 00:07:32,581 --> 00:07:33,670 What's wrong with rubber bands? 214 00:07:33,843 --> 00:07:35,192 Nothing. Go on. 215 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,456 LOUISE: They faced off, face-to-face. 216 00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:39,370 I'm gonna give you till the count of three 217 00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:41,112 to get out of town on your own. 218 00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,201 And I'm not gonna do that thing where I fling my rubber band 219 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,680 after I only count to one. 220 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,290 Oh, my gosh, that's super nice of you. 221 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,728 Okay, then, one...I'm doing that thing! 222 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,120 Ugh! Get 'em! 223 00:07:49,293 --> 00:07:51,382 [rubber bands bouncing] 224 00:07:51,557 --> 00:07:52,689 [panting]: What do we do? 225 00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,081 They got us pinned down. 226 00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:56,040 Son, I'm like a starched collar. 227 00:07:56,213 --> 00:07:57,781 I'm never pinned down. 228 00:07:57,954 --> 00:07:59,391 Ow! I'm hit! 229 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,915 [groaning in pain] 230 00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:04,221 Fling! Fling! Fling! Fling! Fling!Ow! Move it! 231 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,615 Go, go, go, go, go! Go![Rudy panting] 232 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:07,964 You got the angle, son. 233 00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,444 Here it goes. 234 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,750 Ow! 235 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,709 My beautiful knee! 236 00:08:12,882 --> 00:08:13,927 [screams, then grunts] 237 00:08:14,101 --> 00:08:15,406 Is it safe for a kid to fall off 238 00:08:15,581 --> 00:08:17,408 a second-floor balcony like that? 239 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,281 It's fine. Millie trained for weeks for that fall. 240 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,413 Yeah, she's Jessica Alba's stunt double. 241 00:08:22,588 --> 00:08:24,591 RUDY: All right, Meanie. We've got you outnumbered. 242 00:08:24,764 --> 00:08:26,548 Okay, I give up!Really? 243 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,245 Yeah, I know when I'm beat. 244 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,247 Just gonna get a quick sarsaparilla for the road. 245 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,771 Make it real quick. 246 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:32,903 Oh, I will. 247 00:08:33,076 --> 00:08:34,034 Fling! 248 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,427 Ow! 249 00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:36,994 You jerks. [crying] 250 00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,388 Hey, can I get my badge and key back? 251 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,780 Uh, thank you. 252 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,129 Mom, you got Meanie. 253 00:08:42,303 --> 00:08:43,653 You fought my battles for me. 254 00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:45,394 [gasps] Mom? 255 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,655 Mom? 256 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,309 No! 257 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,485 She got me, Rudy. 258 00:08:49,658 --> 00:08:50,790 She got me right in the gut. 259 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:51,966 But... 260 00:08:52,139 --> 00:08:53,620 I think this is it for me. 261 00:08:53,793 --> 00:08:54,620 But, no. 262 00:08:54,794 --> 00:08:56,274 Damn these rubber bands. 263 00:08:56,447 --> 00:08:58,145 Damn them to hell! 264 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,061 What will I do without you? 265 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,149 Oh, Rudy. 266 00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:02,323 You'll live. 267 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,803 'Cause I raised you to live. 268 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,806 [crying] 269 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,677 Always remember how great your mom was. 270 00:09:08,851 --> 00:09:12,812 And always remember to breathe harder than others. 271 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,510 Adios, much... 272 00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:17,294 [wheezing]: ...chacho. 273 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,298 She's got asthma, too. 274 00:09:20,471 --> 00:09:21,995 [crying] 275 00:09:22,169 --> 00:09:23,605 [deep, wheezing breath] 276 00:09:23,779 --> 00:09:26,522 [coughing and crying] 277 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,873 LOUISE: The town with no moms was gonna have to go by a different name. 278 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:32,658 Because of one mom, who saved all the moms, 279 00:09:32,832 --> 00:09:34,835 they named it Momtown. 280 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,139 [sneezes] 281 00:09:36,313 --> 00:09:37,272 Momtown. 282 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,056 What a tearjerker. 283 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,667 I know. You can see why I haven't 284 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,190 been doing my homework lately. 285 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,713 I've been so focused on that play. 286 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,716 It was very impressive to see, in person. 287 00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:48,979 Yeah. [whistles] 288 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,501 Mm-hmm. [whistles] 289 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,114 Tina, what'd your class do? 290 00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,985 Um, it's all so fresh, I'm still kind of remembering what we did. 291 00:09:56,159 --> 00:09:57,552 But Gene's got that "Let me go next" face. 292 00:09:57,726 --> 00:09:58,684 Do I? 293 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,337 You definitely do, Gene. 294 00:10:00,511 --> 00:10:04,647 We did kind of a skit song with xylophones and clouds. 295 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,041 It was called "Eternally Maternal." 296 00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:08,563 Ooh, a skit song. 297 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,219 I was completely in sync with everyone else, 298 00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,350 in case you were wondering. 299 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:13,874 Ah. Sure. 300 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,918 GENE: I played a god named Yingo. 301 00:10:16,092 --> 00:10:18,573 My brothers Yango and Yongo and I 302 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:21,229 created the universe and everything in it. 303 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,100 We made clouds, TV, breadsticks, 304 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,361 unlimited breadsticks. 305 00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,277 We had it good, real good. 306 00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:29,062 Hey, check out what I made with the Staff of Creation. 307 00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:30,412 A banana-ffalo. 308 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,543 It's half banana, half buffalo. 309 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,590 Wait, what mythology is this? 310 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,200 Uh, it's kind of a mishmash. 311 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:39,072 Greek, Roman, Pokémon, Tex-Mex, you know. 312 00:10:39,246 --> 00:10:40,073 Sure, sure. 313 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,640 Anyway. 314 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:44,381 Boy, do we have it good, except... 315 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:48,255 ♪ Sometimes I feel really under-snuggled♪ 316 00:10:48,429 --> 00:10:50,084 ♪ Under-snuggled♪ 317 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,999 ♪ What if we could be snuggled often♪ 318 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,914 ♪ By someone that's really soft and...♪ 319 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,090 Gentle? Gentle? 320 00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:58,265 We could call her Mombo. 321 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,311 Or Mom for short? 322 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,443 ♪ And she could kiss our god-ouchies all better♪ 323 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,359 ♪ Ooh♪ 324 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,056 ♪ And she'd smell just like you remember♪ 325 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,927 ♪ Yeah♪ 326 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,712 ♪ And stop us from watching too much TV...♪ 327 00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:12,019 Huh? Wait, what? 328 00:11:12,192 --> 00:11:13,976 Yeah. We need, uh, healthy limits. 329 00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,240 Hey, uh, Yingo. Let me see that Staff of Creation real quick. 330 00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:17,414 No reason. 331 00:11:17,588 --> 00:11:19,634 Oh, okay, sure. 332 00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:22,115 Ha, ha, ha! You're never creating a mom. 333 00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:23,291 Hey, give it back. 334 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,206 No. [grunts] 335 00:11:25,379 --> 00:11:26,947 GENE: And they played Keep Away over the audience 336 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,338 and people went crazy. 337 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,732 I'm throwing this across the universe. 338 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,561 [grunts] No! 339 00:11:37,173 --> 00:11:38,087 LINDA: Oh, that Yango and Yongo. 340 00:11:38,261 --> 00:11:39,350 Why don't they want a mom? 341 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:40,961 Little punks. I know. 342 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,788 Yingo's pretty great, though, right? 343 00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,790 Gene, go on with your incredibly accurate accounting 344 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,400 of what happened earlier tonight. 345 00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:48,316 I will. There I was, 346 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:51,274 searching the universe for the Staff of Creation. 347 00:11:51,448 --> 00:11:54,451 Ugh! Why did I have to make the universe so huge? 348 00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:56,019 I can't find anything. 349 00:11:56,192 --> 00:11:57,368 I want that staff. 350 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,456 I want to have someone like a mom. 351 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:01,458 COURTNEY: You mean like me? 352 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,331 [angelic voices sing] 353 00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:06,333 Wait, how'd you create her without the Staff of Creation? 354 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:07,988 I didn't. She's a vision. 355 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,336 Ooh, vision. 356 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:10,990 But if I wasreal, 357 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,905 here's what I might be like. 358 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,648 ♪ I'd live on a diet of wine and cheese♪ 359 00:12:16,822 --> 00:12:18,868 ♪ You'd teach me to say thank you and also please♪ 360 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,913 Manners are important. [laughs] 361 00:12:21,087 --> 00:12:24,655 ♪ If you don't have a date, I'll go with you to prom♪ 362 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,355 ♪ Oh, I sure would like to have someone like a mom♪ 363 00:12:27,528 --> 00:12:30,357 ♪ I'd do your homework when you don't wanna♪ 364 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,926 ♪ You'd let me get a big iguana♪ 365 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,927 ♪ As long as you take care of it♪ 366 00:12:35,101 --> 00:12:39,715 ♪ I'll make you watch all my favorite rom-coms♪ 367 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,977 BOTH: ♪ Oh, I sure would like♪ 368 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,850 ♪ To have someone like a mom♪♪ To be somebody's mom.♪ 369 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:46,025 Mombo, you're fading. 370 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,635 Because I'm not real. 371 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,376 I'm just a vision. 372 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:50,682 [quietly]: Vision, vision. 373 00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:52,859 I need that Staff of Creation! 374 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,381 You don't need the staff. 375 00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:55,991 You just need to believe. 376 00:12:56,165 --> 00:12:57,427 If you believe, 377 00:12:57,601 --> 00:12:59,865 put your hand under your armpit and squeeze. 378 00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:00,996 [fart noise] 379 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,693 It makes a funny sound. 380 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,870 That's the sound of believing. 381 00:13:05,044 --> 00:13:07,350 Everyone, believe with me. 382 00:13:07,524 --> 00:13:09,527 [fart noises] 383 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:10,745 [thunder crashes] 384 00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:12,573 There was thunder and lightning 385 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,183 and crashing cymbals. 386 00:13:14,357 --> 00:13:15,881 And steel drums, I want to say. 387 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,534 And Mombo became real. 388 00:13:17,708 --> 00:13:19,624 And everyone was dancing on the ceiling, 389 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,192 and this was way before Lionel Richie. 390 00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:23,411 I'm real. 391 00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,065 This is amazing. 392 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:27,370 I'm so much better than a dad. 393 00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:28,590 What's a dad? 394 00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,374 Oh, let me tell you about dads. 395 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,594 They're hairy, they've got no rhythm, 396 00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:35,075 they can't tape a school play to save their lives, 397 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,729 they smell weird, their knees are backwards... 398 00:13:37,903 --> 00:13:39,340 Okay, Gene, we get it. 399 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,384 [humming] 400 00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:42,822 Oh, that's catchy. 401 00:13:42,995 --> 00:13:44,605 And the production sounds impressive. 402 00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:45,736 All those wires. 403 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,086 Yeah, that's the crew kids. 404 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,523 They don't want speaking roles. 405 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,394 They express themselves through pulleys. 406 00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:53,092 Okay, I think I'm ready to remember what my class did. 407 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,746 Ooh, all right. [retches] 408 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:58,272 We did a little play called Moms Are out of This World. 409 00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,187 It took place out of this world. 410 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,971 TINA: I played a tough lady named Sigourney, 411 00:14:02,144 --> 00:14:04,625 with a complicated backstory and a great jumpsuit. 412 00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:07,149 I was on a mission with a couple spunky space marines 413 00:14:07,323 --> 00:14:09,456 to wipe out an incredibly dangerous alien species 414 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:11,240 that had a thing for jumping out of people's chests. 415 00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:12,328 LINDA: Yuck. 416 00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,764 TINA: I know, right? 417 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:14,984 In order to exterminate the aliens, 418 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,289 we have to take out their queen. 419 00:14:16,463 --> 00:14:17,682 Which won't be easy. 420 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,683 Yeah, it will, 'cause we got the guts. 421 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,773 And we got the tools. Ha! Come on. 422 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:23,818 Yeah, take that, alien. 423 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,428 We'll need to be careful and brave, 424 00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:26,778 because this alien is super tough. 425 00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:28,475 It's got acid for blood, 426 00:14:28,649 --> 00:14:30,303 so it can hurt you even after you've killed it. 427 00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,044 Which is annoying.Like stepping on a dead bee. 428 00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,307 Y'all ever done that? One time... 429 00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:35,961 TINA: But before they entered into the fight of their lives, 430 00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:37,658 they had to do something real quick. 431 00:14:37,832 --> 00:14:39,139 ...that stinger's about four inches long. 432 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,356 We could trip over these space crates. 433 00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:41,967 I'd better move 'em. 434 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,186 Let me just strap into this super strong, 435 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,578 robotic exoskeleton loader. 436 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,972 Hold on a second. 437 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,975 Uh, yeah, sure. 438 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:50,628 TINA: Maybe this will come back later. Who knows? 439 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:51,933 LINDA: Robotic loader? 440 00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:53,674 Flamethrowers? 441 00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:55,284 What kind of budget did you have for these plays? 442 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,287 Mmm. I think it was about $50,000. 443 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:59,332 They fired a gym teacher. 444 00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:00,638 And we had a bake sale. 445 00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,292 Okay. Let's get this mother. 446 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,640 Oh. 447 00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,469 Also, I forgot to tell you. 448 00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:08,037 There are reports of scientific anomalies on this planet. 449 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,821 A-Anomalies? 450 00:15:09,995 --> 00:15:11,345 Yeah. Scientific ones. 451 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:12,999 Because of the, uh, 452 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,826 terraforming... station. 453 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,653 And the hyper unit something. 454 00:15:16,827 --> 00:15:18,481 Uh, all right. 455 00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:20,309 What are these things? Space tulips? 456 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:21,876 Negative. Those are pods. 457 00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,312 With alien babies in 'em. 458 00:15:23,486 --> 00:15:25,010 We have to take out the alien queen mom, 459 00:15:25,184 --> 00:15:26,533 if we can figure out where she is. 460 00:15:26,707 --> 00:15:27,838 Uh... Oh, there she is. 461 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,231 [screams] 462 00:15:29,405 --> 00:15:30,885 Game over, man. Game over. 463 00:15:31,059 --> 00:15:32,322 [Zeke grunts] 464 00:15:32,495 --> 00:15:34,236 TINA: This was a big moment 465 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,673 when we revealed the alien queen costume/puppet. 466 00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:38,763 There were a lot of kids working behind the scenes 467 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,201 to make this thing look like an egg-laying monster. 468 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,375 Some parents screamed. 469 00:15:42,549 --> 00:15:43,551 One lady fainted. 470 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:44,943 Dad, talking about you. 471 00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,379 Damn it! How am I supposed to kill you 472 00:15:46,553 --> 00:15:47,859 when these trained space marines couldn't? 473 00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,860 You're so strong. Whatever. 474 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,081 How am I supposed to not be killed by you 475 00:15:52,254 --> 00:15:54,822 with your flamethrower and your advanced technology? 476 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,259 You're so smart. 477 00:15:56,432 --> 00:15:57,826 What? That's crazy. 478 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,393 You're the perfect organism. 479 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:00,871 Ugh. You have it so much easier than me. 480 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,395 Nuh-uh. 481 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,179 I have slimy hands and two weird mouths. 482 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,182 Your hands are only a little slimy 483 00:16:06,355 --> 00:16:07,792 and you came here on a spaceship. 484 00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:09,880 You have it easier than me. 485 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,710 BOTH: I wish I could be you for a day. 486 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,451 TINA: And then we switched bodies. 487 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,409 I mean, you know, we switched costumes. 488 00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:18,106 But the idea was, we switched bodies. 489 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,413 We body-switched! 490 00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:20,849 [gasps] The anomaly. 491 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,067 Wait, what? 492 00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:23,547 The scientific anomaly. 493 00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,071 Because of the terraforming.... 494 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,375 hyper unit something. 495 00:16:26,549 --> 00:16:27,725 Whatever. 496 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,552 Hey, check out my hair when I run. 497 00:16:29,726 --> 00:16:31,120 Ah. 498 00:16:31,293 --> 00:16:32,556 I thought this was Alien. 499 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,123 Now it's a body-switching story? 500 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,081 It's Freaky Friday-liens. 501 00:16:36,255 --> 00:16:37,952 I remember all of this. 502 00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:39,649 Me, too. But, uh, what happens again? 503 00:16:39,823 --> 00:16:41,609 Tina, go on, go on. 504 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,219 TINA: I was the queen, and I decided to take 505 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,828 my new body out for a spin. 506 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:45,874 I jumped. I whipped my tail around. 507 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,048 I climbed a wall. 508 00:16:47,222 --> 00:16:48,224 The big three. 509 00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:49,746 Ah. 510 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,575 Super cool. 511 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,403 [alien baby cries] 512 00:16:53,576 --> 00:16:55,491 Huh? Oh, a baby. Right. 513 00:16:55,665 --> 00:16:57,625 I'm totally a mom. 514 00:16:57,798 --> 00:16:59,931 Aw, look at you. 515 00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:02,456 You probably want a host body to suck the life out of. 516 00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:04,284 [shushing] 517 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:05,980 Don't shush me. [continues crying] 518 00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:08,027 Okay. I'm going to put you back 519 00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:09,810 in your egg-a-majig.[babies crying] 520 00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:12,856 Oh, more babies. I have so many babies. 521 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,859 [groaning]: I don't know how to take care of all these babies. 522 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,645 Ah... Mommy's gonna be back in just a sec. 523 00:17:23,519 --> 00:17:25,086 Man, that alien sure was tough.I know. 524 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,001 And so totally smoking hot. 525 00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:28,612 Do what? 526 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,266 Yeah, I wouldn't say it was hot. 527 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,875 I mean, it wasn't ugly, but... 528 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:34,096 Yeah, it was ugly. It was a monster. 529 00:17:34,269 --> 00:17:36,184 That seems closed-minded. 530 00:17:36,358 --> 00:17:38,144 Sigourney, you're acting weird. 531 00:17:38,317 --> 00:17:39,840 Weird like cool weird? 532 00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,364 Like I just got a lot cooler recently? 533 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,583 Um... 534 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,192 Psst. 535 00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:45,499 [whispering]: Can I talk with you real quick? 536 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,674 Ugh. Back in a sec, guys. 537 00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:50,155 I just got to go, um, stretch my human legs out. 538 00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:51,679 I'll be right back. 539 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,594 I want to switch back.What? Already? 540 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:55,116 No way. 541 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:56,683 Come on. It's hard being in your body. 542 00:17:56,857 --> 00:17:58,555 I'm loving being in your body. 543 00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,209 It's so much more compact. 544 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:01,950 And I love these eye guards. 545 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,344 I feel like they make me look smart.Uh-huh, but... 546 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:05,910 And human boys, I love them. 547 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,042 They have so few teeth. It's cute. 548 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,740 Listen, we got to say "I want to switch back" at the same time, 549 00:18:10,914 --> 00:18:12,178 so the scientific anomaly can happen. 550 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,830 Ready? And... 551 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,050 I want to switch back.I'm not switching back. 552 00:18:16,224 --> 00:18:17,661 [sighs] I was afraid of this. 553 00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:19,532 Um, I'm gonna have to force you to switch back 554 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:20,882 with my alien strength. 555 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,710 [growls] Ow. 556 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,493 TINA: And then it was a full-on battle 557 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,409 with that loader you might remember from before. 558 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,411 How do you even use this thing? 559 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:29,933 Um, you just hold onto the... 560 00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,893 Never mind, I got it.Okay, good. 561 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,852 [grunting] 562 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,941 TINA: So we were fighting. And the audience 563 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,726 was really into it, and they weren't just being nice 564 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,554 'cause it was a school play. Right, Dad? 565 00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,034 It was... it was... 566 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,384 It was like Avenue Q meets Caligula 567 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,343 meets a fight outside of a Dairy Queen. 568 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:48,910 Yes. Right. E-Exactly. 569 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,390 Wait, you saw Caligula? 570 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:51,520 Yousaw Caligula? 571 00:18:51,694 --> 00:18:52,913 Wait, what's Caligula? 572 00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:55,351 Come on, I don't want to hurt you. 573 00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,874 Switch back. No. 574 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,484 [grunts] 575 00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,529 [growls] 576 00:19:00,703 --> 00:19:02,402 I'm never changing back. 577 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:04,055 [alien babies cry] 578 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,579 Sweeties? 579 00:19:06,753 --> 00:19:08,798 Aw. They need me. 580 00:19:08,972 --> 00:19:10,365 [sighs] Okay, let's switch back. 581 00:19:10,539 --> 00:19:11,627 Oh, phew. 582 00:19:11,801 --> 00:19:12,803 But after we switch back, 583 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,108 my babies will need a host body 584 00:19:14,282 --> 00:19:15,936 to feed off of as a life source. 585 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:17,242 Will you be that host body? 586 00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:18,766 Um, maybe? 587 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,246 I mean, after we switch. Let's switch first. 588 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,421 Okay. 589 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,378 One, two, three... 590 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,903 BOTH: I want to switch back. 591 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,951 Come here, alien babies.[babies crying] 592 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,647 Come to mama. 593 00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:33,476 Ow. Okay, bye. 594 00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,434 I'll get back to you about that host body thing. 595 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,480 Everyone lived happily ever after. 596 00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:39,787 Then the crew kids struck the set real fast and that was that. 597 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:40,917 So, wow. 598 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,268 There you have it, Lin. 599 00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:43,790 Pretty much how it went at school. 600 00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:45,662 You mean exactly much. 601 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:47,142 Oh, my God. 602 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,796 I can't believe I missed it. 603 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:51,364 If I was as strong as those mothers in your stories, 604 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,060 I would have gone and just sneezed all over 605 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,932 everyone's dumb faces. 606 00:19:55,105 --> 00:19:57,631 What? Mom, you are the mothers in those stories. 607 00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,327 I am?Yeah. 608 00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:01,939 You would take a rubber band to the gut for us. 609 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,897 You stand up for us all the time. 610 00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:05,290 Well, yeah, I guess. 611 00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:06,465 And you're not a god, 612 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,641 but you're god-like. 613 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:08,816 That's true. 614 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,077 And you're a badass 615 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,644 protective queen bee alien 616 00:20:11,818 --> 00:20:13,124 with acid for blood, right? 617 00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:14,604 Kinda, yeah, maybe. 618 00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,126 And you'd forgive your husband 619 00:20:16,301 --> 00:20:17,780 for messing up on some videotaping. 620 00:20:17,954 --> 00:20:19,653 Geez, Dad. Got to weasel in, huh? 621 00:20:19,826 --> 00:20:21,045 Trying. 622 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,178 Get in here. Mother's Day weekend hug. 623 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,832 I don't think we should be touching. 624 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,181 [phone buzzes] 625 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,488 Hey. The school just sent a link 626 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,316 to a recording of the performance. 627 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:31,534 Oh. Um... 628 00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:32,926 Should we watch it? 629 00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,493 KIDS: Uh... 630 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,712 You know what? I don't want to watch it. 631 00:20:36,886 --> 00:20:39,238 I already know I like your version better. 632 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:42,675 Got to say, this was a pretty great Mother's Day gift. 633 00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:43,894 What else did you get me? 634 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,808 KIDS AND BOB: Uh... 635 00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:50,161 LINDA: ♪ Oh, what a feeling♪ 636 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:53,990 ♪ When we're dancing on the ceiling♪ 637 00:20:54,164 --> 00:20:57,385 ♪ Oh, what a feeling♪ 638 00:20:57,559 --> 00:20:59,866 ♪ We're dancing on the ceiling♪ 639 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,392 ♪ What is happening here?♪ 640 00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:07,178 ♪ Something's going on that's not quite clear♪ 641 00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:10,224 ♪ Somebody turn on the light♪ 642 00:21:10,398 --> 00:21:12,182 ♪ We're gonna have a party♪ 643 00:21:12,357 --> 00:21:14,010 ♪ It's starting tonight.♪ 644 00:21:14,184 --> 00:21:15,925 [laughs] 645 00:21:16,099 --> 00:21:18,842 Everyone's upside-down. The blood's rushing to my head. 646 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:20,974 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH