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♪ ♪

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This joe is barely
sloppied. Waiter!

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Guys, don't look now,
but Henry Haber and Todd

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are walking this way
and they're wearing

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suit jackets.

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Narcs!
Oh, hi, Todd,
hi, Henry.

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So, small talk.

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Uh, what about it?

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Just getting it
out of the way.

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Tina, how'd you like
to join the debate team?

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Debate? Why me?

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We have to have
at least one girl

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and our last one quit
to focus on spelling bee.

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O-U-C-H.

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Anyway, uh, we
need another girl

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and thought of you
almost immediately.

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Well, I'm flattered.

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But I'm pretty slammed
with social commitments.

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I'm on-again off-again
with Jimmy Jr.,

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and I think I'm about to hit
a sweet patch of on-again.

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Where is he, anyway?

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He was maybe gonna sit here.

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Tamica, look,
I can kiss my elbow.

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[groaning]

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Cool.

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And...
you're off again.

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Ugh, so now we're elbow
kissing everyone?

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Okay, looks like my schedule
might be wide open, actually.

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I don't have to talk
in debate, right?

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I have a fear of
public speaking.

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Oh, boy.MR. DeSANTO:
Welcome to

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our newest debater, Tina.Thanks, Mr. DeSanto.

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You know most
of these jokers.

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Larry's our policy ace,
Zach's a research machine,

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and Todd's a ninja with sarcasm.

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Sarcasm, huh.
Any good?

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[sarcastic]:
No, I'm terrible.

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Oh, that's too bad.

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Ugh, I was doing it!

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All right, tomorrow's
debate topic is:

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"Should the U.S. switch
to the metric system?"

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Oh, fun, I love
the metric system.

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I give it a
ten out of ten.

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[chuckling]
Get it?

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Everything's ten?

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Uh, tough luck,
kiddo.

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We've been assigned
the negative, against it.

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But shouldn't we argue
for what we really believe?

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[boys laugh]Guys, guys.

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Tina, pretending to strongly
believe in something

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that you don't is great
preparation for being, like,

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a lawyer, or a stepdad.

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I guess I might be
one of those some day.

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You just have to stuff
down your feelings

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and stop believing
in anything.

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I think I can do that.

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I mean, I don't
think I can,

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but I'm
pretending I can.

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Now you're getting it!

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Aw, my talky Tina
joined the debate team?

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You gonna miss her?
Yes.

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It throws off our whole
afterschool play routine.

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Usually we just do the opposite
of what Tina wants to do

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and it's fun.

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This is gonna sound
crazy, but you guys could

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get started
on your homework.

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[laughing]: Yeah that
does sound crazy, Dad.

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BOB:
Mm.

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It's not due till
tomorrow, buddy.

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Plus I don't even know
where my backpack is.

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Whoa. Gene!
Oh, whoopsie.

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GENE: Yes I see
it, Dad, thanks.

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Oh, my God,
now we have to throw out

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ten pounds of hamburger meat.

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Um, can we have it?

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Why would you want that?

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I don't know,
I just-- I want it.

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I don't think that's a...Please?

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We won't ask for any meat
for Christmas this year.

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Let 'em have
the meat, Bob.

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Let 'em play with it.Fine.

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Y-You know you have
to wash your hands

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after you play with it, right?

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I mean, technically
meat's not a toy.

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I'm gonna bring it
in the tub.

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Everything's
a toy in there.

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MR. DeSANTO:
Tina,

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how you doing on that
list of tongue twisters?

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Getting your speed up?
Your articulation?

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I'm still stuck
on the first one.

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"Ten... tongue... twisters."

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That one's not actually a...
you know what?

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I'm gonna hand you over to
our top debater, Henry.

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[sighs]
Fine.

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So we're both excited,
that's great.

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Now we need to find some
passion in your delivery.

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What really
gets you going?

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You mean what
makes me tick?

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What makes you
tick-tick-tick explode?

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Think of things
that get you mad.

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I think of when
they canceled Firefly.

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You try.

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[sighs]
I guess it makes me mad

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that they call it your bottom
when it's in the middle.

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Okay.

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Or why do horseshoes

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only come in one style?

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Why can't they
have horse sandals?

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Find your Firefly,come on.

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I got a Canadian
quarter in change.

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It's worthless unless
I take a special trip

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to Canada to buy gum.
[groans]

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You'll get there.

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Look, a meat-eor.

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Eh, I guess it's
just a meatball.

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That's great.

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But what do you
think about this?

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Hubba hubba.We need a picture.

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Gene, go get Mom's phone.On it!

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Got it!
All you have to do

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is ask Mom a math question
and she says,

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"Here, there's a
calculator on the phone.

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Don't make me do math!"Great.

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[camera shutter sound]Give me sassy.

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Now give me classy.

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Now gassy.

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Wait a minute.
[chuckles]

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Gene, stop-motion!Okay, now what?

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No, if we move him a little

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and take another picture,
and keep doing it,

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we can make a movie.
Meat-mation!

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Oh, my God, this is the most
exciting thing we've ever done!

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Okay.
Reposition very slightly,

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another click,
reposition...

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And now I'm bored.

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And if we adopt
the metric system,

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when someone says
"Thanks a ton,"

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you won't actually know
how much they're thanking you.

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Oh, my God,
she's a dud.

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She's a dud,
she is a dud.

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[whispers]:
Find your Firefly.

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I mean...

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[slow motion]:
Tamica, look,

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I can kiss my elbow.

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[groans]
T-The metric system is dumb!

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We already have grams,
they're called "grandmas"

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and mine lives in Florida,
thank you.

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And if she has to learn
kilometers she's gonna get lost

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and never make it
back to the condo.

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This is America, damn it,
and we're the leader

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of the free world,
not the liter.

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U-S-A! U-S-A![bell dings]

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Whoa.

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Counterpoint... wow.

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She's amazing.

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And then you brought up footlong
hot dogs, which was great.

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And then you pointed out
that inchworms were cute,

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but centipedes
were gross.

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And then you're
so beautiful.
Um, what?

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Uh, it's--
debate exercise.

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Proposition, uh,
we should go on a date.

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You take pro,
I'll take con. Go.

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But dating isn't debatable.Everything's debatable.

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Okay, um, we should go
on a date because...

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pro: we both live on land.

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Con: people find me annoying.

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Pro: oh, we're not
related to each other.

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Con: I get really,
uh, bad haircuts.

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Pro: You don't have a rat tail;
that's my deal-breaker.

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Con: I have a rare kind
of contagious acne.

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Um, um, um, um, pro:

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bears are less likely to attack
two people than one.

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Okay, I give up,
I concede, you win.

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We should go on a date.

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Damn, I even
convinced myself.

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I'm that good.

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Then it's settled.
Shake.

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Sundown is at 6:43, so my
telescope and I will be there

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at 6:44.

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Only Ursa Minor will be visible,

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but we'll still
have Ursa majorfun.

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Got it, you'll show up
or not show up.

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I've been on dates before,
I know how they work.

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No, Tina, I'll be there.

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In fact, let me give you
an emergency contact number

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because if I don't show up,,
you can assume I'm dead.

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Wow, I've never had
this for sure of a date.

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See you tonight.
Unless I see you first.

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Wait, uh, never mind,
that doesn't...

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♪ ♪

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Well? Entertained?

192
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It's the best movie
of meat dancing

193
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and then its head falling
off that I've ever seen.

194
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Since Magic Mike.

195
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,002
That's what you kids have
been doing for two days?

196
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We had a technical delay
while we figured out

197
00:06:36,351 --> 00:06:38,310
how to delete all
the photos off your phone.

198
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,747
What?
It was just a bunch of
pictures of your kids.

199
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:43,838
But this is just the sizzle reel
for the movie we want to make,

200
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,492
with a proper budget
of $50 to $60.

201
00:06:45,665 --> 00:06:46,797
No.

202
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,363
We've broken it out.

203
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,365
It's all gotta-haves,
and no-wanna-haves.

204
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,673
Every dollar ends up
on that screen.

205
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,545
"On set masseuse,
preferably named Bruce"?

206
00:06:55,718 --> 00:06:58,678
Gotta-have!Let me tell you a little more
about the hero, huh, Dad?

207
00:06:58,853 --> 00:06:59,983
Really not necessary.

208
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:01,202
Meat Man's a survivor.

209
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,812
No, he's not fancy,

210
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:05,555
he's just a proud,
independent, hamburger man.

211
00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:06,903
Hmm.
A hamburger man.

212
00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:08,644
And when he talks,
people listen.

213
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,038
Especially his kids.

214
00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:11,518
His super hot kids.

215
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,345
Does this meat man have a name?

216
00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:14,737
Yes, it's "Meat Man."

217
00:07:14,911 --> 00:07:16,086
I like that.Yeah.

218
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,610
I don't know,
I'm not seeing it.

219
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,656
Let's talk about the
steamy girlfriend, Lorna.

220
00:07:19,829 --> 00:07:21,178
Ooh, Lorna.

221
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,704
She's the brains.
She's also the wild card.

222
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,574
Her singing voice
shatters diamonds!

223
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:27,882
♪ I love it, I love
it, I love it!♪

224
00:07:28,055 --> 00:07:29,536
[doorbell rings]Oh, the door.

225
00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:30,754
I don't want to
miss anything.

226
00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:32,189
Stop talking
to each other.

227
00:07:32,363 --> 00:07:34,235
Bonjour, Mrs. Belcher,

228
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:36,106
I'm picking up Tina for a date.

229
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,848
That's nice, who's Tina
going on a date with?

230
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,590
Me.
Oh.TINA: Hi, Henry.

231
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,418
I'm almost ready.
Come on up.

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00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,028
Going up and everything, huh?

233
00:07:45,202 --> 00:07:46,204
Look at that.

234
00:07:46,377 --> 00:07:47,596
Hello, Mr. Belcher.

235
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,468
How are sports?

236
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,557
[chuckles] Uh,
they're-they're fine, I guess.

237
00:07:51,731 --> 00:07:53,384
Excellent.
Gene, Louise.

238
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,735
How are your studies?

239
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,387
Someone did his research.

240
00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:58,389
Yep, he has
my blessing.

241
00:07:58,564 --> 00:08:00,915
So Henry seems...
to be here.

242
00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:02,742
Uh, what's going
on with that?

243
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,309
Henry's thoughtful
and attentive.

244
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,050
Other than my total lack
of attraction to him,

245
00:08:06,223 --> 00:08:07,834
he's perfect boyfriend material.

246
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,053
He is?Well, I mean he's made
out of the same material

247
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:11,403
as a boyfriend.

248
00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:14,624
Well, I guess you...
solved... romance.

249
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,408
Yeah. Phew.

250
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:18,802
So that was fun, Henry.

251
00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:20,108
I mean, sort of.

252
00:08:20,281 --> 00:08:21,588
Sorry if I was
a telescope hog.

253
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,240
No, you gave me a peek
there near the end.

254
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:24,547
I got the idea.

255
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,288
Stars, right?Yeah, planets.

256
00:08:26,461 --> 00:08:27,593
And here we are
back at my door.

257
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:28,942
20 minutes
after we left.

258
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,292
So at the
end of dates

259
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,642
is when I hear
kisses occur.

260
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:34,644
And we're at the
end of the date,

261
00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:36,732
therefore, we
should probably...

262
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,299
Uh, rebuttal,

263
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,171
we have to debate
with these mouths.

264
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:41,650
Don't want to risk
injury, right?

265
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,610
God, I love it when
you're debatey.

266
00:08:43,783 --> 00:08:45,873
LOUISE:
Okay, genre-wise,

267
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:47,788
this is straight up
action-adventure, rom-com,

268
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,005
costume, drama, buddy movie.

269
00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:50,572
Oh, I love those.

270
00:08:50,746 --> 00:08:53,053
LOUISE: So in this shot,
Meat Man and Lorna scream

271
00:08:53,227 --> 00:08:55,838
through the Moscow streets
avoiding rogue CIA agents

272
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,798
till they get to the
one person he trusts, Poopov.

273
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,669
Uh, can anyone do
a Russian accent?

274
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,323
I can.Vodka. Da, da.

275
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,629
All good, all good.

276
00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:05,500
Uh, I guess Dad.
Damn it!

277
00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:07,981
[with accent]:
"At last we meet, Meat Man."

278
00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,984
Is anyone else hearing Dracula?

279
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,725
[normal voice]:
Um, Louise?Yeah, hon? How can I help?

280
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,291
Do you really want that
double meat in there?

281
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:14,466
You have "meet Meat?"

282
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,337
Oh, wow, that's a good point.

283
00:09:16,511 --> 00:09:18,034
Thanks. Maybe
we change it to:

284
00:09:18,208 --> 00:09:19,994
[with accent]: "At last
we are face-to-face..."

285
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,822
Let's cut it since you don't
want to say it.

286
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,213
They'll communicate with
a look, let's go.

287
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:24,606
A-A look?
Mm-hmm.

288
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:26,434
Nice going, hot shot,
you lost your line.

289
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,480
Roll camera and action.

290
00:09:28,654 --> 00:09:31,831
[wheels squeaking, clattering]

291
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,355
They exchange a look,
and cut.

292
00:09:33,528 --> 00:09:34,790
We're moving on to Cairo.

293
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,400
♪ ♪Are zoos humane?

294
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,447
Well, my anaconda
don't want none.

295
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,100
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

296
00:09:44,539 --> 00:09:46,368
Put boys and girls
in separate classes?

297
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,456
Is this middle school
or the Middle Ages?

298
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,980
[whispers]:
I'm dating her.

299
00:09:51,154 --> 00:09:56,246
♪ He's dating her
Ooo♪

300
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,206
And that, my fellow Americans,
is why we shouldeat dog.

301
00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:01,164
[dramatic news theme plays]

302
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:02,818
Hey, it's Jocelyn.

303
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,517
I'm here with Mr. DeSanto,
who coaches the debate team,

304
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:06,909
which I think
is gymnastics?

305
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,563
That's right, Jocelyn.

306
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,610
This weekend we go
against King's Head Island.

307
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:13,221
And if we win we'll be
bringing home the first trophy

308
00:10:13,394 --> 00:10:16,441
for the Wagstaff trophy case.You mean the turtle tank?

309
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,486
MR. DeSANTO: Well, it's
supposed to be a trophy case.

310
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:19,879
But there are
turtles in it.

311
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,620
Which is going to change!

312
00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:23,840
We are gonna be bringing
home the iron.

313
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,537
But where will
the turtles live?

314
00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:27,191
I don't f-- I don't know.
I don't know.

315
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,541
Just don't make it about
the turtles, Jocelyn.

316
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:33,414
Okay, guys, this is a debate
team away match overnight.

317
00:10:33,588 --> 00:10:35,373
So bring your medication,Mm-hmm.

318
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,636
your mouth guards,
nasal strips...
Yep.
Nasal strips.

319
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,202
...whatever you need
to have a good night's sleepMm-hmm.

320
00:10:39,376 --> 00:10:40,639
for a strong debate.

321
00:10:40,813 --> 00:10:42,553
Also, we have
received our topic.

322
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,294
"Should a robot be president?"

323
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,384
Classic.
Logic or emotion.

324
00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:48,038
The old head versus heart.

325
00:10:48,211 --> 00:10:49,735
Hope you guys can prep
for the debate

326
00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:51,259
with all those smoochatunities
on the overnight.

327
00:10:51,432 --> 00:10:53,565
[laughs]
Please.
Kissing's overrated.

328
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,088
Why lock lips
when you can lock grips, right?

329
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:56,960
Mm.

330
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,222
Here's a tape of King's Head
against Bog Harbor.

331
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,529
They've got only one
non-crappy debater,

332
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,052
Sasha Whiteman.

333
00:11:03,226 --> 00:11:04,097
TINA:
Oh, I know Sasha.

334
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,229
He's tricky and preppy.

335
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,100
Treppy? Pricky?

336
00:11:07,274 --> 00:11:09,494
He'll have to be tricky
'cause the rest are stiffs.

337
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:11,278
This guy gets stress hiccups.

338
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:12,932
This girl's braces lock up.

339
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,238
This Duncan guy
is from New Zealand,

340
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,197
and no one can understand him.

341
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:18,590
Rebuttal, yeah. Where I'm from we call it buttle rubbies.

342
00:11:18,764 --> 00:11:21,592
Whoa. Uh, could-could we,
uh, roll back to Duncan?

343
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,465
DUNCAN:
Buttle rubbies. And roll back again.

344
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:25,293
Buttle rubbies. I don't get it.
And again.

345
00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:26,642
Buttle rubbies. Uh, why are we doing this?

346
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,121
Uh, and one more time.Last time.

347
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,427
Buttle rubbies.
And again.
What?

348
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,211
Buttle rubbies. Can you zoom?

349
00:11:30,384 --> 00:11:31,081
I can't zoom.

350
00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:32,081
Zoom and enhance.

351
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:33,562
Enhance doesn't exist.

352
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,085
Uh, and freeze frame.All right, Tina.

353
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,740
Come on, let's start debate
prepping, girlfriend.

354
00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:39,133
What?! Oh, right.

355
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,307
[chuckles]
We're dating.

356
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,442
TINA:
It all came rushing back.

357
00:11:45,616 --> 00:11:46,966
I'm just prewired
for long-necked boys

358
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,707
with thick accents
and/or speech impediments.

359
00:11:48,881 --> 00:11:51,971
She likes them not quite a man
and hard to understand.

360
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:52,972
It stinks.

361
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,669
I know, sweetie.

362
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,323
No, something
actually smells bad.

363
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,500
[sniffs] Ugh.
It's Meat Man.

364
00:11:58,673 --> 00:12:00,457
He's not getting any younger
under these lights.

365
00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:02,111
Oh, boy. The meat
is turning gray.

366
00:12:02,285 --> 00:12:03,504
Makeup.

367
00:12:03,678 --> 00:12:05,549
Best I can do.
[sighs]

368
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,682
I can't break up with Henry
right before the big debate.

369
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:09,119
It'll kill him
and we'll lose,

370
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,511
which will kill him again.

371
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,905
Listen, you're in,
you're out. 24 hours.

372
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,429
And then Monday let Henry
down as gently as you can,

373
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,126
like I did with Hugo.

374
00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,346
You sang a break-up song
on his answering machine.

375
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,174
It was a rap, Bob.

376
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,524
Tina, honey, just keep
your head in the game,

377
00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:25,004
and don't even look
at this Duncan boy.

378
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,484
Avoid. Avoid.

379
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:29,486
Got it. Avoid mixing
with Duncan.

380
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:32,054
Okay, guys, mix it up.

381
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,491
What do you say we go over there
and get in their faces?

382
00:12:34,665 --> 00:12:36,885
You know, intimidate them
in a polite way.

383
00:12:37,059 --> 00:12:38,365
Great idea, Habes.

384
00:12:38,539 --> 00:12:40,933
Really get in their faces,
like an inch away.

385
00:12:41,107 --> 00:12:43,197
I'm drinking wine.
I'm off school property.

386
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,241
[laughs]
Or-Or, rejoinder,

387
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,201
we keep our distance
and ignore them.

388
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,332
That always chaps my hide.

389
00:12:49,506 --> 00:12:50,769
Tina Belcher.

390
00:12:50,943 --> 00:12:52,596
I heard that voice,
and I knew it either

391
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,383
had to be Tina Belcher or
the saddest bird in the world.

392
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,037
Hi, Sasha. Hello.

393
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,254
Hi.

394
00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:00,082
[whispering]:
Closer. Intimidate.

395
00:13:00,256 --> 00:13:02,738
Uh...Tina, you seem to
have noticed Duncan,

396
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,740
our exchange student
from somewhere.

397
00:13:04,913 --> 00:13:06,001
New Zealand.Right.

398
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,437
It's so far away that Duncan

399
00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:09,091
went through puberty
on the plane.

400
00:13:09,265 --> 00:13:11,659
It's true. I got pit scrubbies
and other scrubbies,

401
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:12,835
a couple of chesties.

402
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,053
Oh, a new one.
Want one?

403
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,663
Um, one of your chesties?

404
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:16,970
Yeah. They just twist off.

405
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,100
Want me to twist
you off a chestie?

406
00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:20,538
Yes. I-I mean no. No. No.

407
00:13:20,711 --> 00:13:22,018
Sasha, you want one?Yeah, I'll take one.

408
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:24,238
No worries, here you go.
That's my best one.

409
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,543
No worries.
That's what you say

410
00:13:25,716 --> 00:13:26,630
when there aren't
worries, right?

411
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,676
But-But when there are worries,

412
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:28,807
what do you say, "Worries"?

413
00:13:28,981 --> 00:13:29,895
[laughs nervously]
Duncan.

414
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,245
Uh, King's Head huddle.

415
00:13:32,419 --> 00:13:36,076
Tina is super freaky for Duncan.
I'm calling an audible.

416
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,730
Duncan, you'll be my number two
tomorrow against Henry and Tina.

417
00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:40,036
Brenda, you're benched.

418
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,732
But...
Brenda, shush.

419
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,082
We're going
with the debate candy.

420
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,605
I'm not a good debater.

421
00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:46,650
Just be you.
And if you can figure out a way

422
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,087
to take off your shirt
during the debate, do it.

423
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,740
Just use my arms, right?

424
00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:51,613
Fun mixer. I-I'm gonna
go prep for the debate.

425
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,094
You know, I think
Duncan's gonna body surf

426
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,573
right outside the hotel windows
to clear his brain.

427
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,489
Oh, I'll go get
my togs on then.

428
00:13:58,663 --> 00:13:59,576
You probably
call them swimmies.

429
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,448
I don't care. Bye.

430
00:14:03,232 --> 00:14:04,451
DUNCAN:
That wave was a dumper.

431
00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:05,756
I almost lost my togs.

432
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,716
You could nearly see my bum.

433
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,630
[nervous grunting]

434
00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:11,676
[phone rings]Hello?

435
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,504
Tina, the sunset
is gorgeous down here.

436
00:14:13,677 --> 00:14:15,158
You need help
toweling off, Dunc?

437
00:14:15,331 --> 00:14:17,943
Is no one gonna help Duncan
towel off? Really?

438
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:20,293
It's so simple.
He's wet, make him dry.

439
00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:21,860
I know what you're doing, Sasha.

440
00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:22,730
You're not gonna
get me down to the beach.

441
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,820
[phone rings]

442
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:25,951
SASHA: Just calling
you back real quick

443
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:27,778
to let you know that Duncan

444
00:14:27,953 --> 00:14:29,825
is being so self-deprecatingly charming right now.

445
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,740
He's the center of attention,
but also a little bit alone.

446
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,480
No one gets him.

447
00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:35,264
There.[alarm ringing]

448
00:14:35,438 --> 00:14:37,788
Oh, no, someone
pulled the fire alarm.

449
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:40,226
Everybody down
to the beautiful beach.

450
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,924
Whoops. All better.

451
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,100
Whoops.
All better.

452
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,971
Whoops. All better.
Whoops.

453
00:14:46,145 --> 00:14:47,711
Oh, my God.
Meat man's a mess.

454
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:50,192
Yeah, I don't think the love
scene's believable anymore.

455
00:14:50,366 --> 00:14:51,846
Lorna wouldn't kiss
that old meat.

456
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,500
Oh, it's a little
late in the day

457
00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:56,024
to start talking about
things Lorna wouldn't do.

458
00:14:56,198 --> 00:14:58,331
Look, I'll kick in another
ten pounds of hamburger

459
00:14:58,505 --> 00:14:59,506
for a new meat man.

460
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,160
You mean recast?

461
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,552
But he's been with us
since the beginning.

462
00:15:02,726 --> 00:15:04,120
He knows the part.

463
00:15:04,293 --> 00:15:05,381
He's just a piece of meat.

464
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,384
"Just a piece
of meat"? Wow.

465
00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:08,690
That's kind of rough, Linda.

466
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,125
Yeah, you should
hear yourself.

467
00:15:10,299 --> 00:15:12,389
Okay. Sorry.
Sorry, Meat Man.

468
00:15:12,562 --> 00:15:14,216
[in deep voice]:
That's okay.

469
00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:17,046
False alarm,
everybody can go back in.

470
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,744
Probably a prank,
a super-cool prank.

471
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:22,355
I'm going in. I-I got to
go find an extension cord

472
00:15:22,529 --> 00:15:23,879
for my sleep apnea machine.

473
00:15:24,052 --> 00:15:25,184
Yeah, I'm gonna
go in, too... oh!
Oh!

474
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,273
SASHA:
Oh, look at that.

475
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,317
You guys bumped into each other.

476
00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:28,578
I'm gonna go inside, bye.

477
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,798
Oh, hi. Didn't
see you there.

478
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,322
A crab bit me on my clacker.

479
00:15:32,495 --> 00:15:34,846
Um. That's nice.

480
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,196
Just taking in the view.

481
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,371
The lights look pretty
on the water, huh?

482
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:39,850
Yeah. You know,
in New Zealand,

483
00:15:40,025 --> 00:15:41,201
we don't say,
"Turn off the light,"

484
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,811
we say, "Turn on the dark."

485
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,246
Son of a bitch.

486
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,552
Mwah.

487
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:46,857
Oh!
I got to go.

488
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,250
Wait, wait, I got
to check something.

489
00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:49,251
Mwah.

490
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:50,557
Uh, yeah, I was right.

491
00:15:50,731 --> 00:15:51,732
[nervous grunting]

492
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,342
Uh, no worries.No. Worries.

493
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,567
HENRY:
Did you do those

494
00:16:00,741 --> 00:16:01,961
tongue exercises last night?

495
00:16:02,134 --> 00:16:03,440
What, no. It was
just a little peck.

496
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,006
Oh, uh, yeah, yeah.

497
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,529
[chuckles]
All limber.

498
00:16:06,703 --> 00:16:07,749
LINDA:
Oh, my God, now we got flies.

499
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,054
It's disgusting.

500
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,186
Shoo. Shoo.

501
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,100
Oh, I-I think I swallowed one.

502
00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:14,408
[coughs]
It's flying back up. [coughs]

503
00:16:14,581 --> 00:16:15,931
Louise, we've got
to wrap this up.

504
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,802
I know, I know.
I've got a new ending, okay?

505
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,022
Instead of the last
15 sequences,

506
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,763
we just blow Meat Man up

507
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,460
with a bunch of firecrackers
I got from Teddy.

508
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,635
Bang! Fade out, roll credits.

509
00:16:25,809 --> 00:16:27,376
The whole time he's been
looking for the bomb,

510
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:28,899
and it's in his butt!

511
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,946
That's crazy. The meat
would go everywhere.

512
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,903
And Teddy, you shouldn't
give my kids fireworks.

513
00:16:33,078 --> 00:16:35,558
Bob, on the set I like
to be the solution guy,

514
00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:37,778
not the here's-why-we-can't guy.

515
00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:40,302
But there is something
kind of perfect about it.

516
00:16:40,476 --> 00:16:42,261
I say we do it.

517
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,264
And I say you don't.

518
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,351
Hugo?

519
00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:47,179
And Ron.And Ron. Sorry, Ron.

520
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,746
When I arrived for
a surprise health inspection,

521
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,315
I expected to find
beaucoup violations,

522
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,403
but not you people
about to explode

523
00:16:54,577 --> 00:16:56,275
rotted meat all over
the restaurant.

524
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,408
But we need an end
for our movie.

525
00:16:58,581 --> 00:17:00,453
Well, I could
care... movie?

526
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,673
Should a robot be president?

527
00:17:02,846 --> 00:17:06,112
Tina Belcher of Wagstaff
will give the First Negative.

528
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:09,288
[microphone whines]

529
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,029
[clears throat]

530
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:14,642
No, we should not have
a robot president be-kiss...

531
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:19,820
I-I-I mean because it wouldn't
be smooch, I mean smart.

532
00:17:19,994 --> 00:17:22,345
In the words
of President Abraham Duncan...

533
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,478
I-I-I mean Duncan Lincoln.

534
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,914
I mean, damn it,
I-I-I kissed Duncan last night.[audience gasps]

535
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,351
Oh, no, it can't be.

536
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:29,656
Oh, yeah. Right.

537
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,484
I'm sorry, Henry.

538
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:34,662
You're using our First Negative
to tell me you kissed Duncan?

539
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,490
And to break up with you.

540
00:17:36,663 --> 00:17:37,751
[in high-pitched voice]:
And to break up with me?

541
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,188
Oh.
We're dead.

542
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,755
We are dead.

543
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:43,061
I guess you can debate
what you don't believe,

544
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,325
but you can't date
what you don't believe.

545
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,761
Anyway, robot president, um...[bell dings]

546
00:17:47,935 --> 00:17:48,980
Oh, out of time.

547
00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:50,981
I like kissing, you know?

548
00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:52,332
I'm always keen for a kiss.

549
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,723
Should I talk about the robot?

550
00:17:53,897 --> 00:17:56,814
A robot prezzy
could turn into a plane.

551
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,163
No need for Air Force One, then.

552
00:17:58,337 --> 00:17:59,990
He is Air Force One.[bell dings]

553
00:18:00,165 --> 00:18:03,169
You know how long it'll take me
to find another girlfriend?

554
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,692
[crying]

555
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:09,261
HUGO:
Okay, how about this?

556
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:12,439
Instead of blowing up,
Meat Man just drives away,

557
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:15,136
and everyone knows that's the
last they'll ever see of him.

558
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:16,616
That's a terrible ending.

559
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:18,183
It's how the movie
Driveended.

560
00:18:18,357 --> 00:18:19,836
Ron cried.
I did.

561
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:22,491
No, no, the only ending
that makes any sense

562
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:23,666
is the explosion.

563
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,191
You-You die how you live.

564
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,844
Scarface, Easy Rider,

565
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,019
Butch and Sundance.

566
00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,019
Curious George.

567
00:18:29,194 --> 00:18:31,284
He was a little too curious.

568
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,547
Okay, fine, but you
deep clean afterwards,

569
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,505
and I get grateful
acknowledgement in the credits,

570
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:36,680
plus a swag bag.

571
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:37,986
We're doing it, we're doing it.

572
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,465
Explode that sweet meat.

573
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,076
Anybody else with a phone,
get it out.

574
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,772
We want multiple angles.

575
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:43,991
Okay, Teddy, cue firecrackers.

576
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,079
Roger.

577
00:18:45,253 --> 00:18:47,082
We do this
shot once, people.

578
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,561
Roll camera!

579
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,573
Maybe a mistake.

580
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:01,749
I've got old meat inside
my headphone jack.

581
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:02,880
Worth it!

582
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,535
Should a robot be president?

583
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,884
Head or heart?
Logic or emotion?

584
00:19:08,058 --> 00:19:09,451
Take a look at the Wagstaff team

585
00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:10,932
to see what emotions get you.[shuddering]

586
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:12,977
Let's keep emotions
where they belong,

587
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,284
in off-Broadway shows
that my uncle finances.

588
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,374
Robots have no emotions;
they'll keep us safe.

589
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:19,896
Should a robot be president?

590
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,115
Hell yes.

591
00:19:21,289 --> 00:19:22,813
Hell yes![bell dings]

592
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,118
I nailed it, we're gonna win.

593
00:19:24,292 --> 00:19:26,903
Rejoinder, Tina Belcher,
Wagstaff.

594
00:19:27,077 --> 00:19:28,602
[whines]

595
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,256
Henry, I know I wasted
valuable debate minutes

596
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,560
breaking up with you,

597
00:19:31,734 --> 00:19:33,127
but you're still
my debate partner,

598
00:19:33,301 --> 00:19:35,826
and I think maybe we
can win this thing.

599
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,089
Let's talk
about so-called logic.

600
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,657
I started dating Henry
because it seemed logical

601
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,095
to try a reliable,
but not-remotely-my-type guy.

602
00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:46,096
[groans]
Sorry, Henry.

603
00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:47,969
But it was the wrong decision.

604
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,491
I was using my head
to do something

605
00:19:49,665 --> 00:19:51,364
that it couldn't handle
by itself.

606
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:54,366
The brain needs the heart
and the heart needs the brain.

607
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,455
I want a president
with both those things,

608
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,108
with feelings, and lips

609
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,154
and a butt and boobs
if it's a woman.

610
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:01,721
Humans for president.[bell dings]

611
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,636
Oh, crap.

612
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:05,813
She's still amazing.

613
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:06,901
[mutters incoherently]

614
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:08,771
Winner, Wagstaff.

615
00:20:08,945 --> 00:20:10,077
Oh, my God, we won!

616
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,122
That's us, right?

617
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,384
Aren't we the Waggies?

618
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:13,559
When do you go back
to New Zealand?

619
00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:15,170
I live here now.
I've moved here.

620
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,390
Well, you're not welcome.Aw, that's not right.

621
00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,347
Sorry about everything, Henry.It's okay.

622
00:20:19,521 --> 00:20:21,480
You made some good points
up there.

623
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,222
And I didn't even think I'd go
on a date until grad school,

624
00:20:24,396 --> 00:20:26,789
so I'm way ahead,
according to Haber-metrics.

625
00:20:26,963 --> 00:20:28,051
There's someone
out there for you.

626
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,489
And that's notup for debate.

627
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,012
[sighs]
Great summation.

628
00:20:32,186 --> 00:20:33,666
LINDA:
Watch out, Meat Man.

629
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,058
It might be a trap!

630
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,192
LOUISE:  Don't worry, we'll meat again.

631
00:20:37,365 --> 00:20:40,020
So you broke up
with poor Henry, huh?Yeah.

632
00:20:40,194 --> 00:20:42,501
I guess you just can't
talk yourself into love.

633
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,112
I can talk myself
into anything.

634
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:45,505
I like salad now!

635
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,201
Here comes the
boffo ending, Dad.

636
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,856
[sniffles]:
It's beautiful.Yeah.

637
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,859
Aw, Bob.
You identify with Meat Man.

638
00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:55,036
[sniffs] I just think
it's a good movie, Lin.

639
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:57,038
Everybody does.
It's the best movie.

640
00:20:57,211 --> 00:20:58,909
Uh, Mom, you have
old meat in your ear.

641
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,824
That's collectible. Save it.

642
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:02,957
[action music playing]

643
00:21:04,914 --> 00:21:06,265
♪ Meat Man♪

644
00:21:09,571 --> 00:21:11,400
BOB:  Does this meat man have a name?

645
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,054
LOUISE:
Yes. It's Meat Man.

646
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,142
♪ Meat Man♪

647
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,057
BOB:
I like that.

648
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:17,537
GENE:
"Just a piece of meat"?

649
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,843
♪ Meat Man♪

650
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,366
Wow.

651
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:23,193
LOUISE:
Meat Man's a survivor.

652
00:21:23,368 --> 00:21:25,066
No, he's not fancy.

653
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,721
He's just a proud, independent
hamburger man.

654
00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:29,243
And when he talks,
people listen.

655
00:21:29,417 --> 00:21:30,897
♪ Meat Man!♪

656
00:21:34,030 --> 00:21:35,990
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH