1 00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,283 You guys are into rosemary, right? 3 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:23,632 The lady who had the baby? 4 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,286 No, the herb. 5 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,461 I'm looking for recipes for Thanksgiving next week. 6 00:00:27,635 --> 00:00:30,594 Uh-oh, somebody's getting excited about Thanksgiving. 7 00:00:30,768 --> 00:00:31,943 Mm, maybe. 8 00:00:32,118 --> 00:00:33,468 He's freaking out. Look at him. 9 00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,034 Yeah, he's pulling his hair out. 10 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,124 Oh, wait, no. That was like that. 11 00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:38,734 Hmm. Bald joke. Yeah. 12 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,213 What you doing, Tina? 13 00:00:40,387 --> 00:00:41,780 You didn't finish your homework last night? 14 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,304 Oh, this isn't homework. 15 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,131 I'm working on some erotic holiday fiction. 16 00:00:45,305 --> 00:00:46,655 Hmm. Oh, like the one you wrote 17 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,308 where St. Patrick got his groove back? 18 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:49,658 Oh, y-you read that? Yeah. 19 00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:50,832 I loved that one. 20 00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:51,963 Wait, you read it, too? 21 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,182 I mean, I heard about it. 22 00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:55,011 When I-I was reading it out loud. 23 00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,274 I overheard someof it. I heard it, too. 24 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:58,841 What's this one about, Tina? 25 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,189 Well, this one's for Thanksgiving, 26 00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:01,670 and it's called "The Quirky Turkey." 27 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,106 It's about a turkey who wears glasses. 28 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,802 Also, she has skinny legs 29 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,891 that she may or may not hide with knee-high socks. 30 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,807 And she feels left out because she doesn't look 31 00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:09,765 like all the other turkeys. 32 00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:11,635 Is that... about... you? 33 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,248 [nervous chuckle]: No. No. What? 34 00:01:14,421 --> 00:01:15,987 All right, fine, it might have been inspired 35 00:01:16,162 --> 00:01:17,206 by a real-life event where 36 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:19,121 a certain word was thrown around. 37 00:01:19,295 --> 00:01:20,557 Hi, guys. [chuckles] 38 00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:23,126 Tina, you're so quirky. 39 00:01:23,299 --> 00:01:25,346 She's right, you are. You are. 40 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,174 You are. Oh, my God, you really are. 41 00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:28,914 Oh, my God, she's, like, so quirky. 42 00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,046 Wait, is quirky a good thing? 43 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,658 [laughs] That's such a quirky thing to ask. 44 00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:35,920 So, yeah, I'm taking back the "Q" bomb 45 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,575 and mixing in a fun holiday message. 46 00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:39,055 Well, that doesn't sound very erotic. 47 00:01:39,228 --> 00:01:40,664 Which is totally fine. 48 00:01:40,838 --> 00:01:42,710 No, some stuff happens with a pig. Oh. 49 00:01:42,884 --> 00:01:44,843 Some suggestive situations, implied nudity. 50 00:01:45,016 --> 00:01:46,192 Oh, okay, I got it. 51 00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:47,367 So how's it end? 52 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,109 The not-quirky turkeys realize 53 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,240 that they aren't there for dinner, they aredinner. 54 00:01:51,414 --> 00:01:53,200 And they get their heads chopped off on Thanksgiving. 55 00:01:53,373 --> 00:01:55,027 Aw, that's nice. 56 00:01:55,201 --> 00:01:57,073 So, you excited? 57 00:01:57,246 --> 00:01:58,770 My little turkeys get a long weekend. 58 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:01,599 [sighs] I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving, 59 00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:04,254 but I am not looking forward to the day before Thanksgiving. 60 00:02:04,427 --> 00:02:07,082 We have to sit through one of Mr. Frond's stupid plays again. 61 00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,085 I'm still bored from last year's play. 62 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,260 [flatly]: ♪ We're thankful for ♪ 63 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,959 ♪ These foods we're eating ♪ 64 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,746 ♪ Here's a list of foods we're eating ♪ 65 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,747 ♪ A, apples ♪ 66 00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,750 ♪ A, apple pie... ♪ 67 00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:23,403 Yeah, Mr. Frond's plays aren't great, 68 00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:24,969 but isn't going to a play better 69 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,449 than going to actual school? 70 00:02:26,623 --> 00:02:28,538 I mean, do you guys like school? 71 00:02:28,712 --> 00:02:29,627 I've never asked you that. 72 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,367 That's the thing! 73 00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,587 The day before Thanksgiving is supposed to be a half day. 74 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,198 It's on the school schedule. 75 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:36,591 And in most Bibles. 76 00:02:36,764 --> 00:02:38,245 At least in the Ving Rhames version. 77 00:02:38,418 --> 00:02:40,377 [chuckles] King James, Gene. 78 00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:41,682 Ving Rhames! 79 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,772 [microphone feedback hums] 80 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,122 Lunch announcements. 81 00:02:46,295 --> 00:02:48,603 First up, from the Women's Issues club, 82 00:02:48,776 --> 00:02:50,735 we have Peter and Zeke. 83 00:02:50,908 --> 00:02:52,215 What's up, ladies! 84 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,998 Our main issue right now is that 85 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,957 no girls signed up for this club. 86 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,264 And Peter and I wrote a song about it. Hit it! 87 00:02:58,438 --> 00:03:00,962 ♪ I don't have a vagina ♪ 88 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,965 ♪ But I won't stop try'na ♪ 89 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,444 Come on, girls!♪ Help women with their issues ♪ 90 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:05,663 Okay, okay, okay. 91 00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:06,925 Come on, girls, sign up right now! 92 00:03:07,098 --> 00:03:09,145 Okay, okay, shutting it down. 93 00:03:09,318 --> 00:03:10,799 Shutting it down. 94 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,149 Holy moly, that's it! 95 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,282 What's it? That's how we get our half day. 96 00:03:15,455 --> 00:03:16,805 Join the Women's Issues club? 97 00:03:16,978 --> 00:03:19,807 No. What if the day-before- Thanksgiving play is 98 00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:22,897 so offensive that it gets shut down? 99 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,594 We'd all go home early. 100 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:27,118 Why would it be offensive? It's never offensive. 101 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,818 It's just bad and boring, like avocado toast. 102 00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:31,688 But what if we could convince Mr. Frond 103 00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:33,516 to let us do the play, 104 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:36,171 and then we make it so horrible and inappropriate 105 00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:37,651 that he shuts it down? 106 00:03:37,825 --> 00:03:40,307 Boom, half day. A realhalf day! 107 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,872 But where are we gonna find a play 108 00:03:42,046 --> 00:03:43,353 that's inappropriate, offensive 109 00:03:43,526 --> 00:03:44,876 and Thanksgiving-themed? 110 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,269 What's the most erotic temperature 111 00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:47,487 you could cook a turkey at? 112 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,837 375. Thanks. 113 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,534 Oh, my God, Tina, 114 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,972 did you, uh, hear anything we were just talking about? 115 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,235 No. Great. 116 00:03:55,408 --> 00:03:56,323 How's your Thanksgiving play going? 117 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,497 Oh, it's not a play. 118 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,759 It is now. 119 00:04:00,326 --> 00:04:02,806 ♪ Peelin' the potatoes, tryin' not to fart... ♪ 120 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,373 Thank you, Linda. 121 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,637 ♪ I'll just let out a little one ♪ 122 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,204 ♪ It's my little secret. ♪ 123 00:04:08,377 --> 00:04:09,378 Oh, my God. 124 00:04:09,552 --> 00:04:10,989 [gasps] Oh, my gosh! 125 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,687 I know. I have to live with you. 126 00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,688 No, look at this potato. 127 00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:16,386 Yeah? It looks like a face. 128 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,735 Oh, okay. [gasps] 129 00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:19,997 It looks exactly like my grandfather. 130 00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,218 Like, exactly. It does? 131 00:04:22,391 --> 00:04:24,394 Yeah, my mother's father, Burt. 132 00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,177 This is his spitting image, look. 133 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,180 I mean, don't all old men kind of look like potatoes? 134 00:04:29,355 --> 00:04:32,183 It's even got the bumpy thing on its face in the same spot. 135 00:04:32,358 --> 00:04:34,098 He used to put a nickel on the top of it, 136 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,317 and then I'd snatch it off. 137 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,711 Hmm, great. 138 00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:38,146 All right, let's make fries. 139 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,018 No! Not with Grandpa. 140 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,106 Right. That'd be crazy. 141 00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,413 You know what? I'm gonna keep him for a little while. 142 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,764 It'll be good for the kids to get to know my grandpa. 143 00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:49,071 Potato. Grandpa Potato! 144 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,899 Yeah, Grandpa Potato. 145 00:04:51,072 --> 00:04:53,031 I wasn't trying to name-- Forget it. 146 00:04:53,204 --> 00:04:55,382 FROND: So you want to put on 147 00:04:55,555 --> 00:04:56,774 the Thanksgiving play this year? 148 00:04:56,947 --> 00:04:57,992 What can we say? 149 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,255 I mean, you inspire us, Mr. Frond. 150 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,692 And I should probably just continue to do that. 151 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,608 This year, everyone will be reading 152 00:05:04,781 --> 00:05:08,394 from an 88-stanza epic poem called "The Pilgrims' Picnic." 153 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,221 Oh, it sounds great, Mr. Frond. 154 00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,615 Everyone likes stanzas. 155 00:05:11,788 --> 00:05:13,050 I mean, they kind of do. 156 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,704 Right? Right? 157 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,228 You seem pretty confident. 158 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,317 After all, it's just your reputation-- no biggie. 159 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,884 Sounds like you don't need our play, 160 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,408 so see ya later. Uh... 161 00:05:22,582 --> 00:05:26,108 W-Well, just out of curiosity, what is your play? 162 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:27,543 It's called The Quirky Turkey. 163 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,459 It's based on an original short story by me. 164 00:05:29,632 --> 00:05:30,939 Oh. Is it erotic? 165 00:05:31,112 --> 00:05:32,331 Suggestive situations. 166 00:05:32,505 --> 00:05:34,202 I'm cutting back on the implied nudity. 167 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,117 Okay, not a good start. 168 00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:39,120 Picture this: an underdog story about a turkey. 169 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,165 An under-turkey.Who wears glasses. 170 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,081 It's a metaphor for self-esteem and community. 171 00:05:44,255 --> 00:05:45,779 Ooh, I like that. 172 00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,259 Yeah, we knew you would. 173 00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,738 What about music? My plays always have music. 174 00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,437 Makes the whole thing more musical. 175 00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,264 And that's why we brought Gene on 176 00:05:53,439 --> 00:05:54,658 as our musical director. 177 00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:55,790 You did? 178 00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:58,619 Oh. Yes, now I remember. 179 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,315 You absolutely did. 180 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,492 Mm, I'm still not entirely convinced. 181 00:06:02,665 --> 00:06:03,927 That's because you have high standards, 182 00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:05,668 and we love that. 183 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:09,151 And that's why we need you to be our executive producer. 184 00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:12,502 Oh. What does an executive producer do? 185 00:06:12,675 --> 00:06:15,026 Basically you accept awards and give interviews. 186 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:17,463 I-I can do that. I-I'd be great at that. 187 00:06:17,637 --> 00:06:19,074 Yeah, you just say things like, 188 00:06:19,247 --> 00:06:21,336 "They said it would never work, but look at us now." 189 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,033 Oh, that's good. 190 00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:25,819 What if I said, "This is a real passion project for me"? 191 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:26,995 Perfect. Nice. 192 00:06:27,168 --> 00:06:28,300 Super cool. 193 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:31,478 So, uh, Mr. Frond, what do you say? 194 00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,218 Belcher children, you have my permission 195 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,004 to put on The Quirky Turkey. 196 00:06:36,177 --> 00:06:37,308 ALL: Yeah! 197 00:06:37,483 --> 00:06:39,442 Let's get to quirk! 198 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:45,012 Welcome to the open casting call for the first ever 199 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,884 student-produced Thanksgiving play, 200 00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,451 The Quirky Turkey! 201 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,670 This is your moment and your stage. 202 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:51,975 And also your lunchtime, 203 00:06:52,149 --> 00:06:53,543 so remember to eat afterwards-- 204 00:06:53,716 --> 00:06:55,545 or during your auditions, like I will be doing. 205 00:06:55,718 --> 00:06:57,242 We're looking for the best of the best. 206 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,939 [quietly]: Or the best at being worst. 207 00:06:59,113 --> 00:07:00,507 Mm-hmm. 208 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,290 I can almost do the splits. 209 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,684 Almost. Ow. 210 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,815 Not quite. Ow. Ow! 211 00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,862 Love it! Welcome aboard. 212 00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:09,254 Look at this, look at that. 213 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,298 Look at this, look at this. 214 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,040 Look at that. 215 00:07:12,213 --> 00:07:13,911 Look at this, look at that, look at this, look at this. 216 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:14,999 Okay, you got the part. 217 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,348 Thank you!LOUISE: Yup. 218 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,872 You were really good.Thank you, I know. 219 00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:20,875 The lights are too bright! Can you turn them down? 220 00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:23,790 Your future's even brighter, 'cause you're in the show! 221 00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:26,053 I just came in here to see what everybody was doing. 222 00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,838 Now I'm onstage. What's going on? 223 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,884 You got the part! That's what's going on. 224 00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:31,059 Do what? 225 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,713 ♪ Ave ♪ 226 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:37,064 ♪ Maria. ♪ 227 00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:39,720 Thank you. We'll let you know. Next! 228 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,461 Wait, Louise, what are you doing? 229 00:07:41,634 --> 00:07:43,593 She's really good. Maybe she could play the lead. 230 00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:45,769 Nah, nah, nah. She's not really what we're looking for. 231 00:07:45,942 --> 00:07:47,901 Plus, we already know who's playing the Quirky Turkey. 232 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,773 It's you.What? Really? 233 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:52,471 You're perfect, Tina. And you know every word by heart. 234 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,908 And you've captured its dead-eyed stare. 235 00:07:55,082 --> 00:07:56,300 But I'm the writer, too. 236 00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:57,867 And I haven't even finished the second act. 237 00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:58,956 Oh, we won't get that far. 238 00:07:59,129 --> 00:07:59,956 What?Nothing, nothing. 239 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:01,088 You're doing great. 240 00:08:01,262 --> 00:08:02,437 Gene, how's the music coming? 241 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,701 Psh. Man. So good. 242 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,093 TEDDY: Oh, yeah. 243 00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:07,095 Looks just like him. 244 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,096 Same cheekbones. 245 00:08:08,269 --> 00:08:09,401 Same steely look. 246 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,273 You see, Bob? Teddy sees it, too. 247 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:12,447 It's spooky. 248 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,927 But also comforting. 249 00:08:14,101 --> 00:08:15,538 I miss Grandpa. 250 00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,540 Aw, he never got to meet the kids. 251 00:08:17,713 --> 00:08:18,932 'Cause he died. 252 00:08:19,106 --> 00:08:20,586 Maybe I should make him a little blanket. 253 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,285 Oh, and a little cup of Jell-O. He loved Jell-O. 254 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:26,069 Hey, you could make him a little plate of mashed potatoes, too. 255 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,071 What are you talking about? 256 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,899 Uh, it-it was a joke. 257 00:08:29,072 --> 00:08:31,466 Like, you know, old people and... 258 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,990 mashed potatoes, 'cause they eat mashed potatoes, 259 00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:36,298 and he's a potato.It's poor taste, Bob. 260 00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:37,428 Yeah, too soon. 261 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,908 I'm gonna go into the kitchen. 262 00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:40,998 Teddy, keep an eye on Grandpa Potato today. 263 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,609 Don't let Bob fry him up. 264 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,349 I'm not gonna fry up your grandfather. 265 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,828 You threw away that piece of toast 266 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,570 that looked like it said "Wow." 267 00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,005 That was a dark day. 268 00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:50,746 LOUISE: All right, folks! 269 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,488 Just a few days till curtains up. 270 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:54,663 Let's give them a show to remember. 271 00:08:54,837 --> 00:08:56,797 Hey, T. How's my writer-slash-it-girl doing? 272 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,494 I don't know. I'm not feeling good 273 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,148 about the second act, but...All right, fantastic. 274 00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:01,452 I can't wait. Um, okay. 275 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,106 One more time from the top, Zeke. 276 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,586 Five, six, seven, eight! 277 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,240 [Jimmy Jr. and Zeke grunting] 278 00:09:06,414 --> 00:09:08,851 I wish... I wish I could be as graceful as you, J-Ju. 279 00:09:09,025 --> 00:09:10,724 But I can't. Too stiff! 280 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:13,988 [grunts] Oh, God, I'm going down! Going down! 281 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,642 How are those harmonies coming, ladies? 282 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,077 Try this on for size. 283 00:09:17,251 --> 00:09:18,427 ♪ Aah. ♪ 284 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,645 [same note]: ♪ Aah. ♪ 285 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:20,647 No, no. 286 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:21,995 What? No. 287 00:09:22,169 --> 00:09:23,649 Jocelyn, that's not a harmony.What? 288 00:09:23,823 --> 00:09:24,868 It's not? No! 289 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,653 Do you even know what a harmony is? 290 00:09:26,826 --> 00:09:29,090 A harmony is when I sing louder than you. 291 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,874 No! Oh. 292 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,005 I'm dizzy. 293 00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:33,136 Keep up the good work. 294 00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,182 So, how's this? 295 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:35,269 [plays riff] Good? 296 00:09:35,443 --> 00:09:36,270 I mean, bad? 297 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:37,663 Bad-good? Good-bad? 298 00:09:37,837 --> 00:09:39,187 I don't know. I mean, it's bad. 299 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,014 I mean, all of it's bad, but is it 300 00:09:41,188 --> 00:09:43,059 "shut down" bad? Is it "get a half day" bad? 301 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,845 I guess something just happens when you get 302 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,498 in front of the hot lights. 303 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,456 It makes you want to leave your blood, sweat, tears 304 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,067 and pee out on the stage. 305 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,070 Oh, Gene. My Genie Gene! 306 00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,419 You and your words and your stupid, stupid face. 307 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,336 I think I know how to guarantee that we get this play shut down! 308 00:09:58,509 --> 00:10:01,208 ♪ ♪ 309 00:10:17,528 --> 00:10:19,269 ♪ ♪ 310 00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:21,881 So, Mr. Frond, you're the executive producer 311 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:24,057 of the Thanksgiving play, which premieres tomorrow. 312 00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:26,190 Which I'm in. As an actor. 313 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,713 And I am, too, also. 314 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,019 Yes. I am the executive producer. 315 00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:31,892 This was a real passion project for... 316 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,241 Have you ever met the people from Bones? 317 00:10:34,415 --> 00:10:35,677 Um, no...Do you have a limousine? 318 00:10:35,851 --> 00:10:36,852 No. I drive a hatchback. 319 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,201 Gross. Do... 320 00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:39,769 Do you guys want to talk about the play? 321 00:10:39,942 --> 00:10:41,683 What play? Did you have plastic surgery? 322 00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:43,033 Be real. No. 323 00:10:43,206 --> 00:10:44,730 Do you want plastic surgery? 324 00:10:44,904 --> 00:10:46,297 No. What? What? 325 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,081 If I were you, here's where I'd start. 326 00:10:48,255 --> 00:10:49,561 Face. Back. What? 327 00:10:49,735 --> 00:10:51,912 Front. Breath. [screams] 328 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:54,087 Okay, we're all set for tomorrow. 329 00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,960 Our sweet, sweet half day is so close, I can taste it. 330 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,614 It tastes like victory and nachos. 331 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,094 So, what's the plan again? 332 00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,269 Ugh, Gene! It all happens after the first song 333 00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:04,097 when the turkeys get killed. 334 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,753 Backstage, an air compressor will be attached to hoses, 335 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,798 which will be attached to bottles full of giblets 336 00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:11,801 and gizzards, which will be inside the turkey heads. 337 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:15,109 When I hit this button, the turkey heads are gonna blow off 338 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,588 and giblets and gizzards are gonna go everywhere. 339 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,808 Like Carriemeets Gallagher meets Top Chef 340 00:11:19,982 --> 00:11:21,245 meets Double Dare! 341 00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:22,985 Exactly. All right, hands in the middle. 342 00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:24,726 "Get Frond to shut down Tina's horrible play 343 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,467 and get a half day" on three! 344 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,296 BOTH: One, two, three... 345 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:29,688 Get...Get Frond to shut down... 346 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,341 Louise! Gene!Oh! Tina! [screams] 347 00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:32,604 H-How long have you been standing there? 348 00:11:32,778 --> 00:11:33,605 Long enough! 349 00:11:33,779 --> 00:11:35,129 Why is my hand like this? 350 00:11:35,302 --> 00:11:36,913 We don't even do this in our family. 351 00:11:37,086 --> 00:11:38,914 Do we play sports now, too? 352 00:11:39,088 --> 00:11:40,787 If the sport is lying and ruining my play, 353 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:41,961 yeah, I guess you do! 354 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,138 So, I aman athlete! 355 00:11:46,269 --> 00:11:48,272 So, this was your plan all along? 356 00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,013 You're just using me and my play? 357 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,188 Tina, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. 358 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,017 Gene, when you said, "Tina, your play's got the goods," 359 00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:56,149 and you said "goods" like it had a "Z" at the end, 360 00:11:56,323 --> 00:11:57,586 that was just a bunch of crap? 361 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,543 I never should have put that "Z" on the end. 362 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,981 That's my biggest regret in all of this "mezz." 363 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,201 I came in here to tell you guys that I finally, 364 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,682 maybe, sort of finished the big heartfelt musical number 365 00:12:06,855 --> 00:12:08,423 in act two, and now you're saying that none of that 366 00:12:08,596 --> 00:12:10,206 even matters?Hey. 367 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:12,340 Save the drama for the stage, Tina C. Williams! 368 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,341 Yeah, don't get your pubes in a tube. 369 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:15,735 I willget my pubes in a tube. 370 00:12:15,908 --> 00:12:17,519 We should all get our pubes in a tube. 371 00:12:17,692 --> 00:12:19,520 'Cause Louise and Gene are gonna ruin the whole play 372 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,392 by dumping gizzards and giblets all over the stage 373 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,307 so Mr. Frond will shut down the play! 374 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,004 [all gasp, murmur] 375 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,049 Okay, okay, just calm down. 376 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:30,400 There is a completely reasonable explanation for all of this. 377 00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,186 Yeah. You don't care about the play. 378 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,361 All you care about is if the play gets shut down 379 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,798 and we get a half day! 380 00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:36,929 ALL: Oh. 381 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,192 A half day? I'd be into that. 382 00:12:38,365 --> 00:12:40,323 I'm as angry as you are! Wait, what? 383 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,500 Yeah, a half day doesn't sound half bad. 384 00:12:42,673 --> 00:12:44,720 Hell yeah! I wouldn't mind getting home early, too. 385 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,548 And I want to go to the mall that day to get leggings. 386 00:12:47,722 --> 00:12:49,681 Yeah, for her legs.Yes. 387 00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:51,639 Well, Tina, looks like everyone wants to go 388 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,860 to Shutdown Town except for you. 389 00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,557 But we've all worked so hard. 390 00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,384 Have we?And I've worked hard 391 00:12:57,558 --> 00:12:59,255 getting a whole bunch of giblets and gizzards. 392 00:12:59,429 --> 00:13:01,562 People don't want to sell that stuff to a nine-year-old. 393 00:13:01,736 --> 00:13:03,216 Look, it'll all be worth it tomorrow 394 00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:05,436 when you're sitting on the couch, back in your PJs 395 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,395 at 11:00 a.m., staring down a four-day weekend. 396 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,701 So, what do you say? 397 00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,528 You ready to tank this turkey? 398 00:13:11,702 --> 00:13:13,052 Um, I guess. 399 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,010 Yeah. If everyone else wants to do it. 400 00:13:15,184 --> 00:13:16,533 All right, so it's settled. 401 00:13:16,707 --> 00:13:18,100 The show must go off! 402 00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:19,581 See everyone tomorrow. 403 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,235 LINDA: ♪ Just doin' something ♪ 404 00:13:22,409 --> 00:13:25,065 ♪ Over here. ♪ 405 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:27,501 Uh, Lin. What are you doing? 406 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,068 What? Oh, um, nothing. 407 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:32,288 Are you putting Grandpa Potato in your bag 408 00:13:32,462 --> 00:13:33,725 to bring to school? 409 00:13:33,899 --> 00:13:35,379 What? No! 410 00:13:35,552 --> 00:13:36,727 That would be ridiculous. 411 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,251 [chuckles]: It's a potato. 412 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:39,600 I'm a grown woman. Hello! 413 00:13:39,774 --> 00:13:40,907 He can't even breathe in there. 414 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,472 Okay, fine. You got me. 415 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,649 I-I just wanted him to see the kids' show. 416 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,607 Lin, don't bring the potato. 417 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,610 Please. I'm-I'm begging you. 418 00:13:48,783 --> 00:13:51,264 I need to know you're okay.All right. 419 00:13:51,438 --> 00:13:53,048 He'll just stay here and he'll never see 420 00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:54,268 the kids perform. It's fine. 421 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:55,485 Look alive! 422 00:13:55,659 --> 00:13:57,226 Talent's arriving for breakfast. 423 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,924 Morning, Grandpa Potato.Morning, Grandpa Potato. 424 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,623 There they are! Look at my little stars. 425 00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:03,277 I gave birth to a theater company. 426 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,799 I love it. Pancakes, please. 427 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:06,583 Wait, make that waffles. Scratch that. 428 00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,586 Make it pancake mix in a waffle maker. 429 00:14:08,759 --> 00:14:10,500 That's what waffles are, Gene. 430 00:14:10,674 --> 00:14:12,067 They're... that's pancakes in a... 431 00:14:12,241 --> 00:14:13,417 I don't want a conversation. 432 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,071 I want pancakes in the shape of waffles. 433 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,116 Okay, fine. Big day. 434 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,509 I can't wait to see your Thanksgiving play. 435 00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:21,773 Oh, it's gonna be a real showstopper, Mom. 436 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:23,078 I bet it is. 437 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,601 Are you excited, Tina? 438 00:14:24,775 --> 00:14:25,995 Um, yeah, totally. 439 00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:28,475 For sure, totally.Of course she is! 440 00:14:28,649 --> 00:14:30,652 Look at her, she can barely contain herself. 441 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,349 We're really proud of you kids. 442 00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,786 Pancakes and/or waffles speak louder than words, Father! 443 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,440 [piano intro plays] 444 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,834 Hello, friends and families. 445 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,966 Before we begin, I'd like to introduce a man 446 00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:43,186 who made all of this possible. 447 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,623 Give it up for our executive producer, Mr. Frond! 448 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:46,928 [piano plays two notes] 449 00:14:47,102 --> 00:14:48,451 Every once in a while... 450 00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:50,498 Great speech, Mr. Frond.[piano plays scale] 451 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,065 Thank you. Okay. 452 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:55,328 And without further ado, sit back and enjoy 453 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,418 The Quirky Turkey! 454 00:14:57,591 --> 00:14:58,985 [applause] 455 00:14:59,158 --> 00:15:00,508 All right, places, people. 456 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,030 How you doing, girl?Um, not great. 457 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,467 I feel like my soul has diarrhea. 458 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:05,381 Use it. 459 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:06,340 What? Use it! 460 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,818 Let's go, folks! 461 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,559 It's showtime. Hit it, Gene. 462 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,345 Half day, here we come.[keyboard plays drumroll] 463 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:12,736 [piano plays intro] 464 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,000 [off-key]: ♪ We're going to dinner ♪ 465 00:15:15,174 --> 00:15:17,090 ♪ We're going to dinner ♪ 466 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:20,048 Look at all of us plump and popular turkeys. 467 00:15:20,222 --> 00:15:22,703 We're gonna make great Thanksgiving dinner guests. 468 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,400 Yeah, because we're conventionally 469 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,186 attractive turkeys. 470 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,840 Not like that quirky turkey over there. 471 00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:30,538 Hi. Ew! 472 00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:33,062 Don't talk to us!Yeah, go away. 473 00:15:33,235 --> 00:15:34,498 We've been invited to special dinners 474 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:35,846 as special guests. 475 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,197 Why do you think humans 476 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,677 want to eat with turkeys this year? 477 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,201 I wouldn't read into it. 478 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,898 Yeah, you're right. 479 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:45,030 [off-key]: ♪ We're going to dinner ♪ 480 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,076 ♪ We're going to dinner ♪ 481 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:52,038 ♪ We're so glad that we're not not going to dinner! ♪ 482 00:15:52,211 --> 00:15:55,084 Like that quirky turkey, ew. 483 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,043 [quietly]: Linda, look who came after all. 484 00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:59,219 [gasps] Grandpa Potato! 485 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,177 I felt bad that I talked you out of it, 486 00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:02,395 so, here. 487 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,875 Aw, Bobby.[clears throat] 488 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,530 I'm just holding him up so he could see his grandkids. 489 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:08,967 Is he blocking you? Uh, yeah. 490 00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:10,447 Thanks, you're a doll.It's a potato 491 00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,274 that looks like her grandfather. 492 00:16:12,448 --> 00:16:13,798 I don't know, it doesn't look like a face to me. 493 00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,799 Well, it's dark in here, so-- but it does. 494 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,802 Okay, but I still...Lin, show him a picture 495 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,413 of your grandfather.Shh, keep it down. He's trying to watch the show. 496 00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:22,764 ♪ Why can't I be like the other turkeys? ♪ 497 00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:25,635 ♪ They're all off having fun ♪ 498 00:16:25,809 --> 00:16:29,205 ♪ Is it 'cause I'm scrawny and have glasses ♪ 499 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,554 ♪ And rather smallish buns? ♪ 500 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:32,730 ♪ There he is ♪ 501 00:16:32,903 --> 00:16:34,254 ♪ My crush ♪ 502 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,125 ♪ The most handsome pig, what a rush ♪ 503 00:16:36,298 --> 00:16:37,952 [keyboard plays drumroll]Yeah! Ow, ow. 504 00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:40,607 ♪ Man, oh, man, I dig that pig ♪ 505 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:41,870 Hey, turkey. 506 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,219 I'm too quirky; don't look at me! 507 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,220 Okay. 508 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:45,787 [panting] 509 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,918 Time for the grand finale. 510 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,312 Air compressor, this is your big debut. 511 00:16:50,486 --> 00:16:52,097 [quiet electrical hum] 512 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,794 Uh-oh! 513 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,275 I'm starting to suspect we're not just going to dinner, 514 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,928 I think we are the dinner! 515 00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,844 ♪ I thought I was a guest ♪ 516 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,802 ♪ But they just want me for my breast ♪ 517 00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:03,456 ♪ Much to my surprise ♪ 518 00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:05,459 ♪ They're all staring at my thighs ♪ 519 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,590 ♪ They all look starving ♪ 520 00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,202 ♪ And ready for the carving ♪ 521 00:17:10,376 --> 00:17:12,682 ♪ Why don't they eat a pig instead? ♪ 522 00:17:12,856 --> 00:17:17,297 ♪ Oh, my God, they're chopping off my head ♪ 523 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:20,647 [off-key harmony]: ♪ Head. ♪ 524 00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:24,694 [crowd screaming] 525 00:17:24,868 --> 00:17:26,784 Oh, my God! Oh, my face! 526 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,307 Oh, wow. 527 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,657 This doesn't feel so good. 528 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,094 Louise? 529 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,313 [chuckles nervously] 530 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,183 This isn't gonna scar anyone 531 00:17:35,357 --> 00:17:36,663 for life, right? 532 00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:39,449 [gagging] I'm gonna throw up. 533 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,842 I'm doing it! 534 00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,148 Oh, God, I'm throwing up! [retching] 535 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,500 [crowd murmuring] 536 00:17:47,674 --> 00:17:48,545 LOUISE: Okay, 537 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,329 this might've been a mistake. 538 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,635 Shutting this down. 539 00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:54,550 It seemed like a good idea. 540 00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:57,380 Tina, I'm so sorry. You put in all this work, and now I... 541 00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,512 Louise, we got to keep doing the show. 542 00:17:59,686 --> 00:18:01,036 Excuse me? 543 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,167 The musical was missing something. 544 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,820 And now I know what it is. 545 00:18:03,994 --> 00:18:06,214 Believe it or not, this actually makes it work better. 546 00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:07,738 Look, Mr. Frond is coming 547 00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:09,826 through that door at any second to shut us down, 548 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,307 which is what I thought I wanted. 549 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,003 But I was wrong. 550 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,962 I'm sorry, we're not gonna be able to do the second act. 551 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,703 Louise? There he is. 552 00:18:16,877 --> 00:18:19,054 You need to stop him. I'm going out there. 553 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,056 Gene, we're gonna do the next number. 554 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,536 Uh... we are? 555 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,190 All right, close that curtain, Louise. 556 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:25,930 You are in big trouble. 557 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,410 Yup, right, yes, totally understand. 558 00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,368 But just hear me out. 559 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,545 I don't know what that crazy turkey's doing out there, 560 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:34,634 but if there's any chance to save the show, she's it. 561 00:18:34,808 --> 00:18:36,375 I... [sighs] 562 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,029 ♪ I used to spend my time ♪ 563 00:18:39,204 --> 00:18:41,423 ♪ Wishing for a plump behind ♪ 564 00:18:41,597 --> 00:18:44,384 ♪ But now those birds with perfect bodies ♪ 565 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,559 ♪ Are decapitated hotties ♪ 566 00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:49,432 ♪ I wished I was someone else ♪ 567 00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:53,522 ♪ But it takes guts to be yourself ♪ 568 00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,047 Oh.♪ Now I've got the guts ♪ 569 00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:58,048 ♪ I've got the glory ♪ 570 00:18:58,223 --> 00:19:00,138 ♪ I like my scrawny stuff ♪ 571 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,270 ♪ And I'm here to tell my story ♪ 572 00:19:02,444 --> 00:19:04,055 ♪ I've got the guts ♪ 573 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,580 ♪ Do you have the guts to be yourself? ♪ 574 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:09,059 You've got the guts! [grunts] 575 00:19:09,234 --> 00:19:10,018 [chuckles] 576 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,411 And you! [grunts] 577 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,715 And you. [soft grunt] 578 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,108 I got the guts! 579 00:19:14,282 --> 00:19:15,545 That's our Tina! 580 00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,852 You've got the guts, and you! [grunts] 581 00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:19,461 And you and you! 582 00:19:19,635 --> 00:19:21,071 And you and you and you! 583 00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,943 Tina, you son of a bitch. 584 00:19:23,117 --> 00:19:24,902 [crying]: I'm so proud to be part of this. 585 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:25,903 Oh, God. 586 00:19:26,076 --> 00:19:27,730 She's so quirky. 587 00:19:27,904 --> 00:19:28,905 I'm quirky, too, right? 588 00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:30,430 You wish. What?! 589 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,910 ♪ I'm happy to be who I am ♪ 590 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:37,785 ♪ Now I'm gonna see about a pig before he becomes a ham! ♪ 591 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,439 Hey, quirky turkey. 592 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,962 I've been looking for you everywhere. 593 00:19:42,136 --> 00:19:43,442 Shut your snout and kiss me. 594 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,271 [both moaning] 595 00:19:46,445 --> 00:19:47,447 Oh, oh, boy. 596 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,623 Okay, maybe now we shut it down. 597 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,145 Do you think they'll make us clean this up? 598 00:19:51,319 --> 00:19:52,538 Yeah, I think they will. 599 00:19:52,712 --> 00:19:54,279 We're not gonna get that half day, are we? 600 00:19:54,453 --> 00:19:55,367 Nope. 601 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,107 Worth it.Totally worth it. 602 00:19:57,282 --> 00:20:01,155 ♪ We're going to dinner, we're going to dinner ♪ 603 00:20:01,329 --> 00:20:04,855 ♪ Look at all these plump and popular turkeys ♪ 604 00:20:05,028 --> 00:20:06,291 ♪ We're gonna make ♪ 605 00:20:06,465 --> 00:20:08,945 ♪ Great Thanksgiving dinner guests ♪ 606 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:10,991 ♪ Yeah, because we're conventionally ♪ 607 00:20:11,165 --> 00:20:12,776 ♪ Attractive turkeys ♪ 608 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:15,648 ♪ Not like that quirky turkey over there ♪ 609 00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,999 ♪ Hi ♪ ♪ Ew, don't talk to us ♪ 610 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,393 ♪ Yeah, go away, we've been invited ♪ 611 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,526 ♪ To special dinners as special guests ♪ 612 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:27,182 ♪ We're going to dinner, we're going to dinner ♪ 613 00:20:27,355 --> 00:20:29,140 ♪ We're so glad that we're not not ♪ 614 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,663 ♪ Going to dinner ♪ 615 00:20:30,837 --> 00:20:32,665 ♪ Like that quirky turkey, ew ♪ 616 00:20:32,839 --> 00:20:36,799 ♪ Why can't I be like the other turkeys? ♪ 617 00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:38,846 ♪ They're all out having fun ♪ 618 00:20:39,019 --> 00:20:41,282 ♪ Is it 'cause I'm scrawny and have glasses ♪ 619 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,720 ♪ And rather smallish buns? ♪ 620 00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:46,027 ♪ There he is, my crush ♪ 621 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:48,028 ♪ The most handsome pig ♪ 622 00:20:48,202 --> 00:20:49,509 ♪ What a rush ♪Yeah! 623 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,032 ♪ Man, oh, man, I dig that pig ♪ 624 00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,861 ♪ I thought I was a guest, but they just want me ♪ 625 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,818 ♪ For my breast ♪ 626 00:20:55,992 --> 00:20:57,256 ♪ Much to my surprise ♪ 627 00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:59,039 ♪ They're all staring at my thighs ♪ 628 00:20:59,213 --> 00:21:00,737 ♪ They all look starving ♪ 629 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:02,347 ♪ And ready for the carving ♪ 630 00:21:02,521 --> 00:21:04,393 ♪ Why don't they eat a pig instead? ♪ 631 00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,221 ♪ Oh, God, they're chopping off my head ♪ 632 00:21:06,394 --> 00:21:08,875 [all scream] 633 00:21:09,049 --> 00:21:10,834 ♪ I used to spend my time ♪ 634 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:13,096 ♪ Wishing for a plump behind ♪ 635 00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:16,057 ♪ But now those birds with perfect bodies ♪ 636 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,232 ♪ Are decapitated hotties ♪ 637 00:21:18,406 --> 00:21:20,583 ♪ I wished I was someone else ♪ 638 00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:23,759 ♪ But it takes guts to be yourself ♪ 639 00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:27,328 ♪ Now I've got the guts, I've got the glory ♪ 640 00:21:27,502 --> 00:21:28,895 ♪ I like my scrawny... ♪ 641 00:21:29,069 --> 00:21:31,898 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH