1
00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:12,577
♪ ♪

2
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:21,629
♪ ♪

3
00:00:21,803 --> 00:00:23,283
And your heart
rate is... six?

4
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,937
I might have
missed a couple.

5
00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:27,635
You know what they say
in medicine-- close enough.

6
00:00:27,809 --> 00:00:29,245
Moving on to the hearing test.

7
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,899
Raise your hand
when you hear the tone.

8
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,466
Ah...

9
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,295
I smell it,
but I don't hear it.

10
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,340
Tina,
what are you doing?Practicing.

11
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,993
I'm earning my
Thundergirls nursing patch

12
00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:39,691
by helping out
the new school nurse today.

13
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,954
If anyone should be getting
a nursing patch, it's me.

14
00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:43,478
I nursed forever.

15
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,305
Yeah, you did,
my little suckling duckling.

16
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,003
Good times.

17
00:00:47,176 --> 00:00:48,874
I'm only allowed to dispense
ice and Band-Aids,

18
00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:51,442
but I think I'll get
a lot out of it.

19
00:00:51,615 --> 00:00:53,140
[machine beeping steadily,
groaning]

20
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:54,314
It's butt fever.

21
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,838
Worst case I've ever seen.

22
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:57,491
His butt won't make it
though the night.

23
00:00:57,665 --> 00:00:59,320
Not on my watch.

24
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,537
Starting compressions.

25
00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:02,149
Doctor, I need 50 cc's of ice.

26
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,671
Live, damn it, live!

27
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,500
[beeping resumes]

28
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,022
It's a miracle.

29
00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,373
So anyway, I've got
a real zeal to heal.

30
00:01:09,546 --> 00:01:11,506
Here we go.What's in the box, Bob?

31
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,115
Whatever it is,
I call dibs.

32
00:01:13,289 --> 00:01:14,813
Well, something
kind of exciting.What?

33
00:01:14,986 --> 00:01:16,640
New stool tops.Oh.

34
00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:18,120
Look.
Oh.

35
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,861
Nice, huh?
Yeah.

36
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,385
No cracks, no tears,
a little more cushion.

37
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,908
Is that what you said
when you met Mom?

38
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,040
Now, which-which one's
the old one?

39
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,477
The new one...R-Really?

40
00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:27,564
Well, the one that
he's holding is the...

41
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,393
No, this is
the new one.

42
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:30,960
This is the old
one, obviously.That's the...

43
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,266
Oh, that's the old... new one.No, this one.

44
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,355
Oh, that'sthe new one.Oh, that'sthe new...
They look...

45
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,140
Yes, the one that's
not attached.New one's not attached.

46
00:01:37,313 --> 00:01:39,533
I like it cha... it changes it,
but it doesn't change it.

47
00:01:39,707 --> 00:01:41,361
Yeah, it's like you
cloned the stools

48
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,406
and did nothing
to improve them...

49
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:44,668
But made 'em better. Right.

50
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,366
Yeah, right.

51
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,020
You people don't
understand.

52
00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:50,152
Well, let's give
the old stools one last spin.

53
00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:51,502
Whee! Aah!

54
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:53,069
I'll get the ice.

55
00:01:53,242 --> 00:01:54,156
Patient is male.

56
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:55,680
13. Wrestling injury.

57
00:01:55,853 --> 00:01:57,073
Sneaker versus crotch.

58
00:01:57,246 --> 00:01:58,466
Oh, God, still don't know

59
00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,902
how I kicked myself
in the beans.

60
00:02:00,075 --> 00:02:01,599
But that's wrestling
for you. Oh.

61
00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:04,385
Groin kick, great.
I'll call for a medevac.

62
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,560
Get me some of that
orange-flavored

63
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:07,388
chewable baby aspirin, stat!

64
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,259
Nurse Liz isn't
a Nurse Feel-Good, Zeke.

65
00:02:09,432 --> 00:02:11,695
Oh, she's giving you some.[sighs]

66
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,088
Pretty slow today.

67
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,786
Well, a slow day
in the nurse's office

68
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,396
is a good day, right?Wrong.

69
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,920
Tina, I didn't become
a school nurse

70
00:02:18,093 --> 00:02:20,051
because no hospital
would hire me.

71
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,793
Course not.I mean, that was part of it,

72
00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:24,230
but I got into nursing
to help seriously sick kids.

73
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,449
But kids have to do their part
and get seriously sick.

74
00:02:26,623 --> 00:02:28,060
I get it.

75
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,627
You want your life
to be like Hurt Locker

76
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,454
but nobody's
getting hurt by their locker.

77
00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:34,763
Exactly. It's always
scraped this and bruised that.

78
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:37,418
And never epidemic this
or outbreak that.

79
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:38,941
Well, maybe things
will pick up.

80
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:40,463
You never know who's
got cooties, right?

81
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,597
[chuckles weakly]
Hmm.

82
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:43,989
A gentleman I've been seeing

83
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:46,469
says I should
be more spontaneous,

84
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,254
so I'm starting right now.

85
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:49,951
Pop quiz.

86
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,082
Pop quiz?

87
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,432
Keep your eyes on your on paper

88
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,563
Ms. LaBonz,
do I look sweaty to you?

89
00:02:53,737 --> 00:02:54,609
and no talking to your neighbor.

90
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:55,957
I'm feeling kind of hot

91
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:57,045
and vomity.

92
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,395
Well, that happened fast.

93
00:02:58,569 --> 00:02:59,614
Your quiz happened fast.

94
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,181
Fast things happen.

95
00:03:01,354 --> 00:03:02,616
Maybe I should go
to the nurse's office,

96
00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:03,878
if I can make it.

97
00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:05,620
I'm so woozy. Oh.

98
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,622
Whoops. Excuse me, sorry.

99
00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:08,971
Am I there yet?

100
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,493
Just go already, Louise.

101
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:11,800
Is that you, Grandma?

102
00:03:11,973 --> 00:03:13,104
I'm in the barn.

103
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,455
Go.

104
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,195
My inhaler's almost empty.

105
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,153
Tommy LaCroix thought
it was an air freshener

106
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,287
and took it
into the bathroom with him.

107
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,984
We don't have
any extra inhalers, Rudy,

108
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,115
but how about this?
Hold your arms over your head

109
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:25,813
and only breathe
when you need to.

110
00:03:25,987 --> 00:03:28,120
Okay. Here we go.

111
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,644
[groans] I needed to.

112
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:30,818
Oh, hi, Louise.

113
00:03:30,992 --> 00:03:32,299
Hi, I have, like,

114
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,692
a 45-minute bug
I picked up first period.

115
00:03:34,865 --> 00:03:37,173
Or maybe
it's a popped quizula.

116
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,218
Oh, my God, is winking
one of the symptoms?

117
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,350
Yeah. I'm just gonna
park it over here

118
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,180
until I make a miraculous
recovery after this nap.

119
00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:46,486
[sighs] I'm so sick
of people not being sick.

120
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,052
Well, the important thing

121
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,751
is we're here when someone
really needs us.

122
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:52,014
Hello. I was in P.E.
and we were gonna climb ropes

123
00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:53,929
and I began to feel
a little gouty.

124
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,146
[sighs]

125
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,147
You're nice.

126
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,671
I'm cramping.

127
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:58,802
That's the last one.

128
00:03:58,977 --> 00:03:59,890
Wow, I hardly

129
00:04:00,064 --> 00:04:00,979
recognize the place.

130
00:04:01,152 --> 00:04:02,415
Where am I?

131
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,026
[sighs]Go ahead, Teddy, try one out.

132
00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:06,332
Yeah, be our stool sampler.

133
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,943
Well, I'd be honored. Oh.[stool farting]

134
00:04:09,117 --> 00:04:10,379
Teddy.
Geez!

135
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,033
You really planted
your flag in that thing.

136
00:04:12,207 --> 00:04:13,818
That wasn't me!
It came out of the stool!

137
00:04:13,991 --> 00:04:14,731
Mm, sure.

138
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,125
No, really. Look.

139
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:17,300
[stool farts]

140
00:04:17,473 --> 00:04:18,345
Oh, no.

141
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,346
[stool farts]

142
00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:20,651
This one farts, too.

143
00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:22,218
[stools farting]So does this one.

144
00:04:22,391 --> 00:04:23,740
And this one.

145
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:24,742
But not this one.[stool farts]

146
00:04:24,915 --> 00:04:25,874
Oh, this one does, too.

147
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,745
Oh, no, no.
They all do it.

148
00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:29,704
They look sweet,
but they're full of farts.

149
00:04:29,877 --> 00:04:31,052
Just like the kids.

150
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:32,533
Ugh.

151
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,665
What's up, universal nerd care.
[chuckles]

152
00:04:34,838 --> 00:04:35,927
Hey, Tam-Tam.

153
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,233
You're all that in a hat.

154
00:04:37,406 --> 00:04:38,538
Seriously,
way to accessorize.

155
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:39,582
Yeah, I'm doing
indoor hats now.

156
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,757
It's a game changer.

157
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:41,759
Hi, Tammy.
What's wrong?

158
00:04:41,932 --> 00:04:42,933
My nails are gross.

159
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,632
Can someone here file them?

160
00:04:44,805 --> 00:04:46,242
TINA: Um, that's not really
what we do.
Hmm.

161
00:04:46,415 --> 00:04:48,548
Oh, um, it will be
when you do it.

162
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,115
I notice you're
scratching your head.

163
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,726
Yeah, maybe I'm trying
to think of something.

164
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,380
Now I'm wearing a hat.

165
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,860
Hey, hats are fun.

166
00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:57,557
Whoa, as advertised.

167
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,211
What's so fun about this?

168
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,560
Oh.

169
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,692
[yawns]
Well, I think I'm through

170
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,564
the most quizzical part
of my illness.

171
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:05,870
Good day.

172
00:05:06,043 --> 00:05:06,783
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, Louise!

173
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:07,785
We got a fun hat.

174
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,091
I already got a fun hat.

175
00:05:09,264 --> 00:05:10,701
Keep yours company.
Come on, girl.

176
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,747
Zeke.
Now let's all
switch shoes.

177
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,052
Don't know
why you'd be scratching.

178
00:05:14,225 --> 00:05:15,184
Unless it's--

179
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,228
[gasps]
It could be.

180
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,228
Oh, my God, yes.

181
00:05:17,403 --> 00:05:18,404
Lice!

182
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,624
Like licelice?

183
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:23,410
That hat's infected.
You're all exposed!

184
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:26,151
We're in quarantine, people!

185
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,762
"Quarantine"?
No, I was actually just--

186
00:05:27,935 --> 00:05:29,285
Hot crap, it is on!

187
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:30,677
No!

188
00:05:30,851 --> 00:05:31,939
Tina, put a rubber glove
on your head.

189
00:05:32,113 --> 00:05:33,593
Oh, I'm doing that, too? Okay.

190
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:36,814
Ms. LaBonz, I'm ready
to take the pop quiz!

191
00:05:36,987 --> 00:05:37,946
Ms. LaBonz!

192
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,735
I can't believe
Tammy gave us lice!

193
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,781
I'm itchier than
a pair of burlap pants.

194
00:05:46,954 --> 00:05:49,391
I can't have lice.
I go to private school.

195
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,437
This is public school.
What?!

196
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:53,048
I just hope my body
is strong enough

197
00:05:53,221 --> 00:05:55,266
to fight off lice
and asthma at the same time.

198
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,617
[wheezing]:
Nope.

199
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,139
Tina, I don't like this.

200
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,620
I have that thing
where I can't stand

201
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,577
huge tables blocking doors.

202
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,057
Oh, you've never mentioned that.

203
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,841
Nurse Liz, can I borrow
some cotton balls

204
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:07,975
to re-stuff my obesity puppet,
Portion Control Joel?

205
00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:09,673
What's, uh, going on?

206
00:06:09,846 --> 00:06:12,023
We have a serious lice outbreak
at Wagstaff, Mr. Frond.

207
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,809
Okay, so we phone the parents
and get the kids picked up.

208
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,463
We couldcall parents.

209
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,942
But let me tell you what
I'm hoping for-- afraid of.

210
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,988
Superlice."Superlice"?

211
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,163
Super what?

212
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,774
It's a strain of lice

213
00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:25,341
that's evolved
to be treatment-resistant.

214
00:06:25,514 --> 00:06:27,168
Every time it's not
completely destroyed,

215
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,475
it comes back even stronger.

216
00:06:29,649 --> 00:06:30,651
Like Mark Harmon.

217
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:31,781
Oh, my God.

218
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:32,956
Parents can't handle superlice.

219
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:34,872
Parents helped
create superlice.

220
00:06:35,045 --> 00:06:36,307
Parents are stupid.

221
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,180
Or maybe you love parents.

222
00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:40,399
I d-- I don't.
Parents are terrible.

223
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,139
Then we keep them out of it
and handle it here.

224
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:43,620
That's the plan.

225
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,055
That doesn't seem
like a good plan.

226
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,667
Tina, don't be
a giant bummer.

227
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:47,884
We're doing the plan.

228
00:06:48,058 --> 00:06:49,278
BOB:
Yes, a fart sound.

229
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,452
Listen to it again.

230
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:51,540
[stool farts]

231
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,281
No, that was the stool.

232
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,500
I want them fixed.

233
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:55,502
Bobby, I installed them.

234
00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:56,502
Let me talk to him.

235
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:57,677
Hi, this is Teddy.

236
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,156
Bob's handyman and best friend.

237
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,072
I know, I know.
He can get a little hot.

238
00:07:01,245 --> 00:07:02,682
Mediterranean blood,
you know?

239
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,206
I'm not Mediterranean.

240
00:07:04,379 --> 00:07:05,773
Oh, I got it!

241
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,338
We hire someone to play
the trumpet real loud

242
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,557
any time anyone sits down.

243
00:07:08,731 --> 00:07:09,689
They'll never know.

244
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:10,778
[groans]

245
00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:11,865
Well, that explains everything.

246
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,345
That's so simple.

247
00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:14,434
Why didn't I think of that?

248
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,391
Okay, bye-bye.
Well?

249
00:07:16,565 --> 00:07:18,088
The guy says
the stools just do that.

250
00:07:18,262 --> 00:07:19,264
They just do that?

251
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,526
Well, until they're broken in.

252
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,701
A year or two tops.

253
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,268
A year or two?

254
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,052
We-we can't be
the farty stool restaurant.

255
00:07:25,226 --> 00:07:26,620
That's not good for business.

256
00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:28,535
Oh, we're gonna have
to break them in ourselves.

257
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:29,709
Good idea, Bobby.

258
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,233
All butts on deck, come on!

259
00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:32,233
[stool farting]

260
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:33,322
Can you move down one, Bob?

261
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,540
I'd like a little privacy.

262
00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:38,240
To get a handle
on this superlice outbreak,

263
00:07:38,413 --> 00:07:40,024
we need to know who else

264
00:07:40,197 --> 00:07:42,069
has been exposed
to Tammy's hair.

265
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,725
Great idea, why don't you let me
out and I'll comb the hallways.

266
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,029
[laughs]
No pun intended.

267
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,161
We have fun.

268
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:48,119
Open the door.[stammers]

269
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,338
You open it.No, No.

270
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,470
I will not.Yeah, I got this.

271
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,557
[stammers]You can't do that.

272
00:07:51,731 --> 00:07:53,124
You stay put.
[groans]

273
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:54,908
I know.
Tammy, give me your phone.

274
00:07:55,082 --> 00:07:56,737
You can give someone lice
over the phone?

275
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,869
Oh, prank calls
just got fun again.

276
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,783
No, selfies.

277
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,786
They thought they were posing
for a picture with Tammy's head.

278
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:04,701
What they got was so much more.

279
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:07,399
Hi, it's Jocelyn.

280
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,444
Live from the nurse's office.

281
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,360
I'm filling in for Tammy,
'cause guys,

282
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,449
Tammy's got superlice!

283
00:08:13,622 --> 00:08:14,581
[muttering]

284
00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:15,973
Hi, Tammy. I see you.

285
00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:17,105
Hurry up and get better.

286
00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,889
No, take your time, ha.

287
00:08:19,062 --> 00:08:20,411
I'm here with Nurse Liz.

288
00:08:20,586 --> 00:08:22,632
So, what are superlice?

289
00:08:22,805 --> 00:08:24,939
Well Jocelyn,
they're parasites.
Ew.

290
00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:26,810
They live on your hair
and chew your head and

291
00:08:26,983 --> 00:08:28,420
Ew.
and then drink the
blood out of your scalp

292
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,987
by sucking it out
Shut up!

293
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,685
using their little
louse bodies as straws.

294
00:08:31,858 --> 00:08:32,947
[slurping]
Oh, my God!
Stop talking!

295
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,427
And then they poop
on you, Jocelyn.

296
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:37,428
And lay millions
of lice eggs.
[retching]

297
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,779
I'm gonna throw up.

298
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,782
Kids with lice
are bad, right?

299
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,219
[laughs]
No, they aren't bad.

300
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:45,960
But they are disgusting.

301
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,875
And we want to protect
their identity.

302
00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:50,790
Unrelated... will the
following 16 children

303
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:54,446
report to the nurse's office
for a, uh, neck exam?

304
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,100
Jimmy Pesto Jr.,
Lice.

305
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,318
Lenny Destefano,
Lice.

306
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:58,798
Michael Carlish,
Licey.

307
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,844
Tracy Schwartz.
Super licey.

308
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,672
So, you'd like to reserve
the whole restaurant?

309
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,152
Mm-hmm.For a post-funeral meal?

310
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,849
Mm-hmm.Today?

311
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,981
It's short notice,
but the mortician next door

312
00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,331
recommended you highly.

313
00:09:09,504 --> 00:09:10,461
[stool farting]Oh.

314
00:09:10,636 --> 00:09:12,159
Sorry for your loss.

315
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:14,292
Lin, take a break.Oh, sorry.

316
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:15,859
Uh, excuse us,
we're just in the process of,

317
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,993
of, uh, calibrating our,
uh, sitting equipment.

318
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,125
Yes, it would be
about a dozen people.

319
00:09:21,298 --> 00:09:22,474
Some of them are elderly

320
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,173
and obviously grieving.[stool farting]

321
00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:26,826
Teddy, stop.
W-We'll be ready.

322
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,263
By 2:00.
Oh, my God.

323
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:29,307
I mean, I'll, yes.

324
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,351
See you then.

325
00:09:30,525 --> 00:09:31,831
Have a great funeral!

326
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,356
Tammy's selfies
sure liced a lot of kids.

327
00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,663
Yep, these selfies
went viral, literally.

328
00:09:37,837 --> 00:09:39,534
My lice are going
over to Andy's head.

329
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,405
And my lice are going
over to Ollie's head.

330
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,799
Bye, hello, bye!Hello, bye, hello!

331
00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:45,192
One, two, three-- oh, God!

332
00:09:45,366 --> 00:09:46,933
That's a lot heavier
than I expected.

333
00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:48,804
Louise, I don't think you're
supposed to move that table.

334
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,067
But it looks terrible here.

335
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,374
Let's try it
by the trash can!

336
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:53,897
You can't leave, Louise.

337
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,638
It's just a bitter pill
you have to swallow.

338
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,379
[groans]But it's not a real pill.

339
00:09:57,552 --> 00:09:59,163
'Cause that would be medicine
and I can't dispense...

340
00:09:59,336 --> 00:10:00,424
I know, Tina!

341
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,861
You're drunk
with lack of power.

342
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,341
There's one selfie

343
00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:05,212
on Tammy's phone
I can't identify.

344
00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:07,215
You can see just a little bit
of hair and sweater.

345
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,390
Whoever it is could be
walking around with lice

346
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:10,913
and not even know it.

347
00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:13,221
Like I'll never truly know
how cute my butt is.

348
00:10:13,394 --> 00:10:14,570
Good news, everyone.

349
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,832
I've found a cure
for superlice.

350
00:10:17,006 --> 00:10:18,529
Finally!
That's great.

351
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:19,706
I'm not a hero, Tina.

352
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:21,620
I'm just doing my job.

353
00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:23,534
I didn't call you a hero.Oh, I thought you did.

354
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,884
I get to go first.[groans]

355
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,015
And I want a reward
for being brave,

356
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,801
like a smoothie or a Prius.

357
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:31,065
So it's quick, all natural,
but pretty cutting edge.

358
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,240
Bring on this wonder drug!
It's probably hemp.

359
00:10:33,414 --> 00:10:35,417
Yeah, is it a pill
or a shampoo I use at home

360
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:36,418
or just give it to...

361
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:37,724
I'm shaving heads!

362
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,246
[gasping]What?!

363
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,422
Oh, and burning hats.

364
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,206
No!No!

365
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,951
No! My hair andmy ears?

366
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:50,605
Why does everything bad
happen to me?

367
00:10:50,779 --> 00:10:52,956
It's happening
to us, too, Tammy!

368
00:10:53,129 --> 00:10:54,436
Well, not really,
'cause you're not blonde.

369
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,480
Neither are you.You shut up right now!

370
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,918
You better shut that down.
Shut it up.

371
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,399
Um, Nurse Liz, this sounds like
pretty aggressive treatment.

372
00:11:01,572 --> 00:11:04,097
Yeah! And, Tina,
you get to hold the kids down.

373
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,839
Uh...

374
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:07,317
Anyone comes after me,
they're gonna get

375
00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:09,494
an eyeful
of cherry throat spray.

376
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:11,105
Do us! Do us!Do us! Do us!

377
00:11:11,278 --> 00:11:12,759
I heard children screaming
from down the hall.

378
00:11:12,932 --> 00:11:14,282
As a counselor, I've learned

379
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,587
that screams can actually be
a cry for help.

380
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,067
She wants to shave our heads.

381
00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:19,940
And I don't even know
how much to tip!

382
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,768
Well, then that's
what's gonna happen.

383
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,030
Mr. Frond, your hair and sweater
match the mystery selfie.

384
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:27,424
Oh. Well, I might have leaned in
for a selfie.

385
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,775
I'm on top of trends.
[chuckles] Oh, I...

386
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,908
I'm-I'm sure
I didn't get lice.

387
00:11:32,081 --> 00:11:33,169
Hold him, Tina.

388
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:34,823
No. [stammers] Please.

389
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,129
I-I have a date.

390
00:11:36,303 --> 00:11:37,479
I have to match my picture!

391
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,524
It's already not very close!

392
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,613
A date with someone
besides my Aunt Gayle?

393
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,789
Maybe.
[growling]

394
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,225
Tina, you're hurting me.

395
00:11:45,399 --> 00:11:46,618
[screams]

396
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,054
Darn it, jammed.

397
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,970
Before too much of
my hair came off?

398
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,231
Oh. Here we go!

399
00:11:51,405 --> 00:11:53,015
[screams]

400
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,278
Crap! Treatment is postponed
while I get these fixed.

401
00:11:55,452 --> 00:11:56,976
[whimpering]

402
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,370
Hey, just change the side
your part is on and...

403
00:11:59,543 --> 00:12:00,807
and nobody will even notice.

404
00:12:02,677 --> 00:12:03,634
[stool farting]

405
00:12:03,809 --> 00:12:04,679
I'm fading here, Bob.

406
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,159
I lost my mechanics.

407
00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:07,639
I'm all up in my head!

408
00:12:07,813 --> 00:12:09,336
Yeah, I gotta take a break, too.

409
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:10,467
My kegels are givin' out.

410
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:11,860
We gotta keep going!

411
00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:13,167
Very sad people
will be here in an hour.

412
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,864
[bell dings]

413
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,561
Oh, trying to get the farts
out of stools, huh?

414
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,475
Yes.
You have experience with this?

415
00:12:18,649 --> 00:12:19,913
Yeah. I had a vinyl seat

416
00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:21,349
in my mail truck
with the same problem.

417
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,697
Children laughed at me.

418
00:12:22,871 --> 00:12:24,177
Before that,
I was the cool mailman.

419
00:12:24,351 --> 00:12:26,309
Mike's right!
We can't do this alone.

420
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:27,876
We gotta accept help
from friends.

421
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,923
I don't think
I offered to help.

422
00:12:30,096 --> 00:12:31,576
When the Amish wanted
to build a barn,

423
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,013
did they do it themselves?

424
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,537
No, Kelly McGillis
took a sexy sponge bath

425
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,191
and she got Harrison Ford
to pitch in.

426
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,149
The Amish really
know how to bathe.

427
00:12:39,322 --> 00:12:40,716
But there's no time.
How do we get the word out?

428
00:12:40,889 --> 00:12:42,586
Did someone say "free beer"?

429
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:45,024
Where? Where's free beer? Ohh...

430
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,721
Yes! I'll make a sign!

431
00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:48,245
After a couple of beers,

432
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:49,594
this stuff pretty
much delivers itself.

433
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,596
Farty party![stool farts]

434
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,903
LOUISE:
We gotta get outta here.

435
00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:56,731
Maybe someone's already dug
a tunnel behind that cat poster.

436
00:12:56,905 --> 00:12:58,341
We'll just peel it back
and, uh...

437
00:12:58,515 --> 00:13:00,344
Okay, no tunnel.

438
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,562
Well, we'll dig one ourselves

439
00:13:01,736 --> 00:13:02,825
with these popsicle sticks!

440
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,434
Ah, it broke.

441
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,437
Aw, man, people are gonna
call me cue ball!

442
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:08,091
I wanted my nickname
to be eight ball.

443
00:13:08,264 --> 00:13:10,398
I haven't been bald
since I was a baby.

444
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,139
I cried all the time!

445
00:13:12,312 --> 00:13:14,489
Ugh, and my dad just built me
a scrunchie closet.

446
00:13:15,576 --> 00:13:16,403
So... I'm picking up

447
00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:17,797
some negative feedback

448
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,407
about shaving
everyone's hair off.

449
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:20,974
Maybe we send kids home,

450
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,278
kick this can
down the road a little bit?

451
00:13:22,452 --> 00:13:25,065
No! I'm saving heads
by shaving heads!

452
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:27,544
I'll be the school nurse
that beat super lice.

453
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,460
And when I go to
my nursing school reunion,

454
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:30,897
I won't even
need a name tag,

455
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,332
though I'll probably
wear it anyway

456
00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:33,769
if they have one for me,
'cause why not?

457
00:13:33,942 --> 00:13:35,205
I don't want to be
weird about it!

458
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:37,076
But...It's happening, Tina!

459
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,470
I'm not gonna be the only freak
around here with a shaved head.

460
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,732
[clippers buzzing]Hey, I fixed them!

461
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,039
♪ ♪

462
00:13:44,213 --> 00:13:45,346
[stools farting]Bob, it's working!

463
00:13:45,519 --> 00:13:46,826
I think the farts
are going down!

464
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,087
We just might
make it, Lin.

465
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,653
Marshmallow is here.

466
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,091
And she brought her rear.

467
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,134
Oh, hey, Marshmallow.

468
00:13:52,308 --> 00:13:54,136
Hey, baby. Ooh!

469
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,312
Okay, where to start?

470
00:13:56,486 --> 00:13:57,749
With Louise.[gasps]

471
00:13:57,923 --> 00:13:59,750
[whimpering]

472
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:01,753
Oops!

473
00:14:01,927 --> 00:14:03,668
Oh, you've stopped me!

474
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:05,932
I'm just gonna go right here and
plug it right into the wall...

475
00:14:06,105 --> 00:14:08,063
Ah!
Ha!

476
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,630
Now you're exposed!

477
00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:11,284
So let's talk again

478
00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:12,721
about who's getting
shaved and who's g...

479
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:13,940
[clippers buzzing]

480
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,245
Ahh...

481
00:14:15,418 --> 00:14:16,551
Oh...

482
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,248
And...

483
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:19,902
better.

484
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,817
Eyebrows.
That's commitment.

485
00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:23,340
Uh, Nurse Liz,

486
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:24,775
you look like someone
who should be lying down.

487
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,342
Under observation.

488
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:28,911
She also looks a little
like Michael Chiklis.

489
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,782
Come here, Louise.

490
00:14:30,956 --> 00:14:33,784
Uh, Nurse Liz, you're on a roll!

491
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,351
Ah, oh!

492
00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:37,311
Move the table!

493
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,139
Everybody run!

494
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,357
I'm not really feeling up
to running... okay!

495
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:42,924
Stop those louse-y kids!

496
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,713
[panting]

497
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,976
So you finally
saw the light, huh?

498
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,716
'Bout time!

499
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,719
Yeah, I didn't notice it
till she was bald and sweaty,

500
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,504
but Nurse Liz
is kind of insane.

501
00:14:56,677 --> 00:14:57,721
Which way do we go?

502
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,681
I can't handle
choices right now!

503
00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:01,465
We'll have a better
chance if we split up.

504
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:02,813
Half go left,
half go right!

505
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,511
Go!
Yeah...

506
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:06,470
Wh... Oh. We're the only
ones who chose right?

507
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:07,818
We went right?

508
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,385
I thought this was...
Never mind.

509
00:15:09,559 --> 00:15:11,039
You go after those two!

510
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,129
Ow! You don't have to push me,
I'm on your side!

511
00:15:13,302 --> 00:15:15,000
God!
Go!

512
00:15:15,174 --> 00:15:17,873
Follow me! I know this school
like the back of my hand!

513
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:19,308
Yeah, this is where
the dead end is.

514
00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:20,919
Good. Good. Good.

515
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,399
LIZ:
All right, let's go...[gasping]

516
00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:23,835
nice and easy... no, wait!

517
00:15:24,009 --> 00:15:25,184
Liceand easy.

518
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,576
Good one.

519
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,666
It's just interesting
to see her process.

520
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,711
How long do we
have to run?

521
00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:32,061
I'd just like to say
you're the last person

522
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,366
I wanted to be
escaping with.

523
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:34,672
Okay, well,
I would just like to say

524
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:35,934
that I am not
escaping with you,

525
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,370
we are escaping
separately together!

526
00:15:37,544 --> 00:15:39,547
Well, let's just run
and not talk, okay?

527
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:40,808
Fine, stopping now!
[growls]

528
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,028
You, down there!

529
00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:44,246
Stop them!
No way, man!

530
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,682
They're gonna lice us!

531
00:15:45,856 --> 00:15:47,033
The library!

532
00:15:47,206 --> 00:15:48,250
In here!

533
00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:50,036
The library?
Ew. Ew.

534
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,558
Oh, my God!

535
00:15:51,732 --> 00:15:53,648
[panting quietly]

536
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,826
[awkward chuckling]

537
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:01,655
LOUISE: We can make it out
through that window.

538
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,265
Then we're safe.

539
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,875
But Mr. Ambrose can see
the window from his desk.

540
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,052
All right, let's just
hunker down here

541
00:16:06,225 --> 00:16:07,400
and wait for him to get up.

542
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:08,879
It won't take long,
he hates his job.

543
00:16:09,054 --> 00:16:10,099
What's this?

544
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,535
"Medical Encyclopedia."

545
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:13,754
Oh, God, don't open it--

546
00:16:13,928 --> 00:16:15,408
you'll get book smell
everywhere.

547
00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:16,758
Thank you. Thanks, everybody.

548
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,280
Thanks for helping.

549
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,283
Mm, man, my cushion
did some pushin'.

550
00:16:20,456 --> 00:16:22,067
All right, the funeral people
will be here any second.

551
00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:23,851
But I... I think we're ready.

552
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,636
Ah, I'm still a little worried
about that third stool there.

553
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,161
It was the gassiest one.

554
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:29,423
What, really?
Oh, God, they're here.

555
00:16:29,596 --> 00:16:31,467
[mourners murmuring]

556
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:32,730
Welcome, welcome.

557
00:16:32,903 --> 00:16:33,948
Sit... sit anywhere.

558
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,298
The booths are nice.

559
00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:36,778
I've always been
a booth man myself.

560
00:16:36,951 --> 00:16:39,085
They call me the booth fairy.

561
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,346
Uh, sorry.

562
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,653
The counter looks nice.Mm-hmm.

563
00:16:42,826 --> 00:16:43,784
[quietly]:
Oh, God, the third stool!

564
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,481
Oh, are you the widow?

565
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,397
Uh, yeah, we have
a VIP booth for you.

566
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,572
For-for widows.Oh. Ow.

567
00:16:48,745 --> 00:16:49,834
Stop shoving!

568
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,052
No, no, I'm not, I'm helping!

569
00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:52,053
Ow!
I'm helping!

570
00:16:52,227 --> 00:16:53,447
Lin.
Okay.

571
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,100
Sit anywhere.
Wherever you want.

572
00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:57,451
[loud fart]Oh, my.

573
00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,495
[quietly]:
Damn it!Sorry, Bob.

574
00:16:59,669 --> 00:17:01,106
Ooh, unless...

575
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,326
Hmm. Could be.
I-I can't tell.

576
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,935
Teddy, can you
get in there?

577
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,763
Was it the seat
or was it her?

578
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,114
I'm checking it out
right now, Bob.

579
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:09,593
[sniffs]

580
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:10,898
It's real.

581
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,291
It's a real one,
all right!

582
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,770
Oh, wow,
it's a real one!

583
00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:15,598
Yeah, oh,
now I'm getting it.

584
00:17:15,772 --> 00:17:16,817
It's definitely her!

585
00:17:16,991 --> 00:17:18,079
LINDA:
All right!

586
00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:20,256
Roger would have
loved this place.

587
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,431
♪ ♪

588
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,477
Huh.

589
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:24,652
Oh, my God.

590
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,045
Ring.

591
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,828
Oh, hello,
a librarian emergency?

592
00:17:28,002 --> 00:17:29,134
I'll be right there!

593
00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:30,875
Now's our chance!

594
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:32,615
LIZ [over P.A. system]:
Lice alert.

595
00:17:32,789 --> 00:17:34,182
We have re-quarantined
most of the infected students.

596
00:17:34,356 --> 00:17:35,792
Oh, no.

597
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,708
Louise Belcher and Tammy Larson
remain at large.

598
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,797
If you have any contact
with them, turn them in.

599
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,711
And then turn yourself in
because you have lice.

600
00:17:41,885 --> 00:17:42,931
She got the others.

601
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:43,974
Sucks for them.

602
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,628
Okay, let's go!Wait.

603
00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:46,978
[sighs]

604
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,501
We gotta go back.What?! No!

605
00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:49,938
I know, I know.

606
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,200
But I have a gross feeling

607
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,635
that we should
help the others.

608
00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:54,550
And I have an idea
and I need you.

609
00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:55,987
Which is also gross.

610
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,684
Here's the thing:
I hate helping.

611
00:17:57,858 --> 00:17:59,034
I'm out the window!Wait, wait, wait!

612
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,515
[grunting]Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

613
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,213
Guys, we're in
the nurse's office

614
00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:07,999
where Nurse Liz is gonna shave
kids' heads while we watch.

615
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:10,132
This microphone's heavy,
I'm gonna put it down.

616
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,351
No, don't do that?
Okay.

617
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,092
Hold it, Nurse Wacky!

618
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,746
Oh, look what
the lice dragged in.

619
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,356
Really not liking
this plan.

620
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,662
I have information.

621
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,663
Tammy is Patient Zero.

622
00:18:20,837 --> 00:18:22,491
But she doesn't have lice...

623
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:24,667
she has dandruff!

624
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,017
Look at it!

625
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,019
Look at the glorious dandruff!

626
00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,759
It's snowing!

627
00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:31,066
Old people have dandruff.

628
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,372
I'd rather have lice.

629
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:33,763
But why are we all scratching?

630
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,375
Dandruff's not contagious.

631
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,680
It's psychosomatic.

632
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,421
The power of suggestion.

633
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,554
Just say the word "lice"
and everyone itches their heads.

634
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:42,947
Oh, my God!
Stop it, Louise!

635
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,080
Nurse Liz, please read
from this medical encyclopedia

636
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,171
the marked passage--
how dandruff is often

637
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,477
misdiagnosed as lice.

638
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,521
Like how my asthma
was misdiagnosed

639
00:18:52,695 --> 00:18:54,088
as having a bad attitude.

640
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:55,916
Uh, I don't need
to read it

641
00:18:56,090 --> 00:18:57,919
because obviously,
Tammy has dandruff and lice.

642
00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,182
Dandruff and lice?

643
00:19:00,355 --> 00:19:02,053
Mm-hmm.
She's a mess.

644
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,055
Oh, my God. That's not good.

645
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,361
Yeah. You can have both.

646
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:06,710
Oh... Sorry.

647
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:07,929
Darn it, Louise!

648
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,451
I was out the window!

649
00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:11,150
Where were we?

650
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:13,413
[gasps]
No, Nurse Liz, read the book!

651
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,545
It's over, Tina.Read the book!

652
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:18,200
God, I could read it,
but reading?

653
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,419
Ugh!

654
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,202
Right, kids? Right?

655
00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:22,596
Yeah!She gets it.

656
00:19:22,769 --> 00:19:24,031
You can't read it.

657
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,555
Because you don't
have your glasses.

658
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,990
What's... what are you
trying to say?

659
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:28,340
[laughing]:
I don't even...

660
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,080
I noticed you squinting,
then I noticed

661
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605
the little marks on your nose.

662
00:19:31,778 --> 00:19:33,432
I have them, too.[gasps]

663
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,826
I always thought Tina wore
fake glasses to hide those.

664
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,915
Uh... wh... I... I left
them at home, okay?

665
00:19:39,089 --> 00:19:40,830
I got in the car and I thought
it was gonna be that thing

666
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,442
where I say
"where are my glasses?"

667
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:43,616
and then it turns out
they're on my head.

668
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:44,922
But they weren't!

669
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,315
They're not, right?No.

670
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,621
And that's why
you couldn't have

671
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:48,838
seen lice on Tammy's head.

672
00:19:49,012 --> 00:19:51,102
[all gasp]Nice one, T.

673
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,494
All right, yes.

674
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,497
Maybe I saw
what I wanted to see.

675
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,019
Is that such a crime?

676
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,587
You really want a nurse
with no imagination?

677
00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:00,154
Kind of?
Yes.
Preferably.

678
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:02,983
Oh, screw it, I'll just
skip the reunion.

679
00:20:03,157 --> 00:20:05,160
I don't want to show up
there with a bald head.

680
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:06,901
Again.
I get it.

681
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:08,118
You had a zeal to heal.

682
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,730
But you forgot
to keep it real.

683
00:20:09,903 --> 00:20:11,992
Oh, can you sign this form
so I get my nursing patch?

684
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:13,516
That's not the right place.

685
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:14,778
Oh, you can't see.

686
00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:16,039
That's my hand.

687
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:18,607
So, Tammy,
what's next for you?

688
00:20:18,781 --> 00:20:20,348
I do the interviews,
Jocelyn!

689
00:20:20,522 --> 00:20:21,654
What's next for you?

690
00:20:21,828 --> 00:20:23,874
No, I have the microphone.

691
00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,833
So, like, what's
next for you?
No, what's next
for you, Jocelyn,

692
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,877
in your journey to give
me the microphone?
No...

693
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:29,880
I think it's
my microphone.
No, Jocelyn,
I'm not kidding.

694
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:31,621
I'm doing the news
right now.
Give it back.
Give it back!

695
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,013
Just get off
it right now!
Give it!
Give it to me!

696
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:34,276
Get off it! Ow!
Ha-ha, got it!

697
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:35,843
So gross.
You're gross.

698
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,105
You're my best friend.You're my best friend.

699
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,324
I love you.

700
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:39,977
There you are, Louise.

701
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,153
There's still time
to take your pop quiz.

702
00:20:42,327 --> 00:20:43,372
Pop quiz?

703
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:44,807
Ah, all right...

704
00:20:44,981 --> 00:20:46,506
Wh... whoa!

705
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,855
My leg! Oh!

706
00:20:49,029 --> 00:20:50,336
Oh, Louise, your leg!

707
00:20:50,509 --> 00:20:52,032
Tina!
It's all twisted!

708
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:54,339
It's, like, totally
facing the wrong way.

709
00:20:54,513 --> 00:20:55,731
We need to get
this girl some ice!

710
00:20:55,905 --> 00:20:57,691
You gotta be kidding me.

711
00:20:57,865 --> 00:21:00,824
Don't just stand there,
LaBonz, get the damn ice!

712
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:03,305
[melodic farting]