1 00:00:20,106 --> 00:00:21,498 GENE: Faster! Faster! 2 00:00:21,672 --> 00:00:23,327 Gene, stop whipping me with a tube sock. 3 00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:24,850 Well, sorry I don't have dress socks. 4 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,112 Keep going, Dad. 5 00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:27,201 You're almost at the water station. 6 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:28,289 Oh, my God. 7 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:29,332 Yay, Dad! 8 00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:30,378 You're peddling like crazy 9 00:00:30,551 --> 00:00:31,379 and not getting anywhere. 10 00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:32,423 Just like your life. 11 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:33,990 Great encouragement, kids! 12 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,384 And... good enough. Oh! 13 00:00:36,557 --> 00:00:38,081 Now, hit the showers, sweat stuff. 14 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,518 And wash this sock. It's got your stank all over it. 15 00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,302 Boy, your father's getting a lot of good out of this 16 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,652 old exer-cycle someone dumped in the alley. 17 00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:46,350 Maybe it was a hint from a concerned friend, 18 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,482 like someone anonymously mailing you mouthwash. 19 00:00:48,656 --> 00:00:50,398 Yeah, did you like the flavor, by the way? 20 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:51,789 'Cause they also make cinnamon. 21 00:00:51,963 --> 00:00:53,009 No, it was really good. 22 00:00:53,182 --> 00:00:55,185 Oh... Hey! 23 00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:57,491 That's weird. 24 00:00:57,665 --> 00:00:58,710 So, it looks the same? 25 00:00:58,884 --> 00:00:59,884 Yeah, your bald spot is still 26 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:00,886 exactly the size of the lid 27 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,149 of a mayonnaise jar. 28 00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,585 Or a tiny crop circle. 29 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,021 Huh, I guess it's a mystery. 30 00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:06,456 Bob, your mustache! 31 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:07,980 What? 32 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:09,504 You're going lip bald! 33 00:01:09,677 --> 00:01:11,418 All right, well, it doesn't look great. 34 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:12,768 Or it's sexy. It shows a little skin, 35 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,725 but leaves something to the imagination. 36 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,555 "Internet, does my father have mange?" 37 00:01:17,728 --> 00:01:18,861 Maybe I should just shave it off. 38 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:19,861 "Shave it off"?! 39 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,429 No, no, no! You can't! 40 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,343 Bob, your mustache is like an old friend. 41 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:24,561 It introduced us. 42 00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:25,736 It was how we met. 43 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:26,956 Wait, it was how you met? 44 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,349 I thought Mom lost a bet. 45 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,740 Come on, you know this story. 46 00:01:29,914 --> 00:01:30,960 I never told you this story? 47 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,308 Guys, this is our chance to say 48 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,223 "Yes, you did tell us that story." 49 00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:35,834 I was engaged to Hugo, 50 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,358 but I wasn't that into hanging out with him. 51 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,881 LOUISE: Here we go. 52 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,229 So, one night, I was having a quiet cocktail 53 00:01:40,403 --> 00:01:42,579 with my friend Ginger. 54 00:01:42,753 --> 00:01:44,408 [laughing] 55 00:01:44,581 --> 00:01:47,194 So, I said, "That's not how you throw a shrimp. 56 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:48,585 This is how you throw a shrimp!" 57 00:01:48,759 --> 00:01:50,762 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 58 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,024 Oh, my God! 59 00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:53,287 Hey, you got a lot of nerve 60 00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:54,375 grabbing girls' diamond rings 61 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,724 with your thick, luxurious, 62 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,075 Tom Selleck-ian mustache. 63 00:01:59,248 --> 00:02:00,424 Hi.Hi. 64 00:02:00,597 --> 00:02:02,209 Uh, my eyes are up here. 65 00:02:02,382 --> 00:02:04,079 Should we get some scissors? 66 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,081 What's the rush? 67 00:02:05,254 --> 00:02:06,256 What do you mean? 68 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,084 Oh, I... Sorry. 69 00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,259 One thing led to another, and, uh, I gave Hugo 70 00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,306 back his ring and told him I met a mustache. 71 00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:15,134 Whoa! So if Dad didn't have his mustache that day, 72 00:02:15,308 --> 00:02:17,615 you guys don't click, don't get together, 73 00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:18,834 we're not born. 74 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,182 [gasps] A world without a Gene 75 00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:21,966 is not a world I want to live in! 76 00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:23,621 Oh, please. Mom and Dad are destined 77 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,275 to get together no matter what. 78 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:26,972 It's called fate and it's great. 79 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:28,582 That's an easy way to remember it. 80 00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:30,280 No, no, no, no. Shave Dad's face, 81 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,802 Belcher kids are erased. 82 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,152 If Dad's lip has no hair, 83 00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:34,979 we never come out of there. 84 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,503 Well, we'll never really know what would've happened 85 00:02:36,677 --> 00:02:38,288 if I didn't have a mustache back then. 86 00:02:38,461 --> 00:02:39,811 But we can wildly speculate. 87 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,465 No.I don't want to do that. 88 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,206 I take you back to that night. 89 00:02:43,379 --> 00:02:46,295 Everything is the same... almost! 90 00:02:46,469 --> 00:02:48,037 "That's not how you throw a shrimp. 91 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,646 This is how you throw a shrimp!" 92 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,823 GENE: Dad's naked lip is no match 93 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:55,652 for a small karat, visibly occluded, rose-cut diamond. 94 00:02:55,826 --> 00:02:57,786 You know a weird amount about diamonds. 95 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,831 A boy can plan for his big day! 96 00:03:00,004 --> 00:03:01,311 Ow!Oh, oh, God! 97 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:02,485 Sorry. Uh-oh! 98 00:03:02,659 --> 00:03:03,661 Got a little blood. 99 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:04,836 Uh, let me get you a napkin. 100 00:03:05,009 --> 00:03:06,010 Aah!There you go. 101 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,098 All better. Oh, wait, no. 102 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,275 It's gushing.Oh, no! 103 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,407 Oh, God.Oh, God! Oh, God... 104 00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:11,842 DOCTOR: I don't really like the sight of blood, either. 105 00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:13,323 It's like, what is that stuff?! 106 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:14,455 Hi, Doc. Sergeant Bosco, PD. 107 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,500 What do you got-- lip job? 108 00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,198 Um, it's a simple laceration. 109 00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:19,807 Just a couple of stitches should do it. 110 00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:21,200 He could be perfect. 111 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,853 You're losing him!I'm losing him? 112 00:03:23,027 --> 00:03:24,508 Wait, you're losing me?[makes flatlining noise] 113 00:03:24,681 --> 00:03:25,901 He's flatlining! 114 00:03:26,074 --> 00:03:27,336 [scoffs] You're making that sound. 115 00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:29,383 Induce coma!Induce coma?! 116 00:03:29,556 --> 00:03:31,384 I'm commandeering this patient.Wait! 117 00:03:31,558 --> 00:03:33,168 Let's talk about-- [slurring]: Oh, God... 118 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,866 TECHNICIAN: Powering up. 119 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,002 He's on. How are you feeling? 120 00:03:40,175 --> 00:03:41,525 BOB [monotone]: I don't feel. 121 00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:42,873 What do you remember? 122 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,353 Nothing.Correct response. 123 00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:45,789 The OS is loaded. 124 00:03:45,963 --> 00:03:49,359 Welcome to the force, Officer Robo 'Stache. 125 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,625 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.Lin! 126 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,758 I'm just giving you a little comb-over. Ugh. 127 00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:59,281 Gene, why would the police give me a robotic mustache? 128 00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,414 Because they tried robotic ding-dongs, and they were buggy. 129 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:03,330 Sure, sure. 130 00:04:03,503 --> 00:04:05,245 GENE: But the mustache unit was bristling 131 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,203 with state-of-the-art technology. 132 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:10,250 .45-caliber revolver, tear gas, paper shredder, 133 00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:12,252 universal remote, pencil sharpener, 134 00:04:12,425 --> 00:04:14,384 toothpick, melon baller. 135 00:04:14,557 --> 00:04:16,690 Robo 'Stache, you are fully trained. 136 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,387 We've uploaded police academy to your brain. 137 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,216 The movies and the actual training. 138 00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:23,305 They are funny, except for 5: Assignment: Miami Beach. 139 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,307 That is correct. What are your directives? 140 00:04:25,481 --> 00:04:27,615 Serve the public, protect the innocent. 141 00:04:27,788 --> 00:04:29,269 Dance like no one's watching. 142 00:04:29,442 --> 00:04:30,747 And a fourth hidden secret one 143 00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,314 I'm not allowed to know about 144 00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:34,709 but shouldn't concern me in the slightest. 145 00:04:34,882 --> 00:04:36,144 Perfect. Now hit the streets! 146 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,798 GENE: The new broom on Dad's lip 147 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:39,235 swept the city clean. 148 00:04:39,408 --> 00:04:41,062 Hold it, punk. 149 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,411 Hold it, pug. 150 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,500 Drop the loot, scum. 151 00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,110 It's take-a-penny, leave-a-penny! [groaning] 152 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,201 More like take-a-tase, take-a-tase. 153 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:52,117 Indecent exposure! 154 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,468 Ow, my butt cheeks! Why would you do that? 155 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:56,600 So, I'm kind of nitpicky as a cop. 156 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,036 No, you're not good. 157 00:04:58,209 --> 00:04:59,560 Just keep going, Gene. 158 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,300 ♪ I'm engaged to Hugo! ♪ 159 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,346 ♪ Is that good? I don't know! ♪ 160 00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:05,783 Public nuisance detected!♪ As long as I don't think about it ♪ 161 00:05:05,956 --> 00:05:07,307 ♪ Too much, yeah ♪Beanbag deployed. 162 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,309 ♪ I... ♪ Aah! Oh, my mouth! 163 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,485 Hey, it's you! You a cop now? 164 00:05:11,658 --> 00:05:13,790 You look different with that mustache. You look good! 165 00:05:13,964 --> 00:05:15,271 Compliment accepted. 166 00:05:15,444 --> 00:05:16,925 I'll pass that along to my supervisors. 167 00:05:17,098 --> 00:05:18,579 They'll be jazzed. 168 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,668 You have the right to buy me a cup of coffee. 169 00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,408 Please don't use cute cop speak. 170 00:05:22,582 --> 00:05:23,845 It's not cute. 171 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,281 So tell me about yourself. 172 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,891 There's not much to tell. 173 00:05:28,065 --> 00:05:29,459 My ding-dong is not robotic. They are buggy. Oh. 174 00:05:29,632 --> 00:05:30,981 BOB: Gene! 175 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,463 It was bound to come up! See, Gene? 176 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,204 You couldn't stop fate even in your own story. 177 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,161 Dad has a mustache, and he and Mom are hitting it off 178 00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:38,512 like peanut butter and Jerry. 179 00:05:38,685 --> 00:05:40,034 You know, that kid from school 180 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,471 who has peanut butter every day? Jerry? 181 00:05:41,644 --> 00:05:43,298 Uh, uh, uh, don't get attached, 182 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:46,606 because not everyone lives-- hint, hint. No! 183 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,130 I can't get over how handsome you look now. 184 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,524 Thank you. You are the eighth most attractive woman 185 00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,177 I've seen today. Oh. 186 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,658 I arrested seven supermodels.Oh! 187 00:05:55,832 --> 00:05:57,574 I mean prostitutes. Oh. 188 00:05:57,747 --> 00:06:00,315 Of all the women who are not supermodel-prostitutes, 189 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,709 you are the most attractive. 190 00:06:01,882 --> 00:06:03,666 Aw. How about I give you a little kiss? 191 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:04,973 For free, right? 192 00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:08,324 Mmm. [gasps] You zapped me! 193 00:06:08,497 --> 00:06:11,718 [slowly, in deep voice]: This is how you throw a shrimp. 194 00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:15,723 We've met before.I know! That's why, when I saw you, I said, "Hey, it's you!" 195 00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:17,158 You can say that to anyone. 196 00:06:17,332 --> 00:06:18,464 It's always true. 197 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:19,987 What happened to you? 198 00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:22,598 I don't know, but I have some questions. 199 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,819 GENE: Robo 'Stache had some questions. 200 00:06:24,992 --> 00:06:26,211 Who is Bob Belcher? 201 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,213 His name is written in my underwear. 202 00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,737 Bob Belcher? He's one of your parts. 203 00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,521 Like a screw, but not as fancy as a screw. 204 00:06:31,694 --> 00:06:33,262 LINDA: Ouch. 205 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,394 You mind turning the voltage down on the mustache? 206 00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,353 It's like making out with a wall socket. 207 00:06:37,526 --> 00:06:38,920 It's hardwired to his brain. 208 00:06:39,093 --> 00:06:40,790 If we do that, I don't know what'll happen, 209 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,836 except that his brain will explode, so power down, or...? 210 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,141 What?! That's horrible! 211 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,752 If you don't like it, 212 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,536 take it up with Mr. Fischoeder. He owns the cops. 213 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,060 He's, uh, not here right now, but there's a tiny model of him. 214 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,411 "Wonder Wharfopolis?" 215 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,848 Mr. Fischoeder's dream. Picture this town. 216 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,545 Now picture it gone completely. 217 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,375 Then picture a giant amusement park as big as a town. 218 00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:01,682 Where will people live?The people are in the way! 219 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,726 That's why we made Tin Lip over here. 220 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,598 To drive people out with nitpicky policing! 221 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,774 The police are just goons for Mr. Fischoeder?! 222 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,081 Officer Bosco, you're under arr-rr... 223 00:07:10,254 --> 00:07:11,735 ruh-ruh, uh-ruh... 224 00:07:11,908 --> 00:07:13,911 Ah, the hidden Secret Fourth Directive: 225 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:15,608 "Never arrest Officer Bosco." 226 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,262 Oh, that was smart to put in there. 227 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,742 Mr. F. thinks of everything. 228 00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:20,177 He's a handsome genius. 229 00:07:20,351 --> 00:07:21,701 One more thing. 230 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,572 Not only do I work for Mr. Fischoeder. 231 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:26,271 I amMr. Fischoeder. 232 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,925 Aha! He shouldn't have done that. 233 00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:29,579 Now Robo 'Stache can arrest him! 234 00:07:29,752 --> 00:07:31,059 Good, Father, good. 235 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,540 Mr. Fischoeder, you're under arrest. 236 00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:35,367 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. 237 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:38,457 Did I not put in "Never arrest Mr. Fischoeder"?No. 238 00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:41,504 Well, let me just pop this Bosco mask back on and, uh... 239 00:07:41,677 --> 00:07:44,288 [clears throat] Let's talk, man to... mm, cyborg. 240 00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:48,119 What-what if I could give you a robotic ding-dong? No bugs. 241 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,295 Interesting.No, thank you. 242 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,689 In that case, I'll have to keep my robo eyeon you. 243 00:07:53,863 --> 00:07:55,735 [whirring]GENE: The battle was intense. 244 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,432 It was like Terminator versus Roomba. 245 00:07:57,606 --> 00:07:59,000 Laser beam! 246 00:07:59,173 --> 00:08:00,610 Eye scissors! Tear gas! 247 00:08:00,783 --> 00:08:02,132 Stink eye! Toothpick! 248 00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:04,004 Pink eye! Melon baller! 249 00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:06,442 GENE: But Robo couldn't handle the big Fisch. 250 00:08:06,615 --> 00:08:08,749 The pupil becomes the master! 251 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,055 [high-pitched whirring] 252 00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:12,665 System error. 253 00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:15,668 Contact Mustache Administrator. 254 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:19,149 Brain explosion any second, eh... 255 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:20,500 Actually, I think I'm fi... 256 00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:21,935 [groans] Oh, God. 257 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,720 Brain explosion hurts so much. 258 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,983 It's like getting water up your nose, but worse. 259 00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:27,810 Ugh! Let's get this back on. 260 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,682 Oh! One more time. 261 00:08:29,856 --> 00:08:31,988 Now I got it.That's upside down. 262 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,556 How about you just keep it? 263 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,644 Oh, I don't really have a place for it. 264 00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:37,385 Well, it's my dying wish, so... 265 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,649 I guess I could put it on my pet cactus, 266 00:08:39,822 --> 00:08:41,607 so it looks like my cactus has a mustache. 267 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,000 [laughs] Can you imagine?! 268 00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:44,306 Oh, you're dead. 269 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,828 GENE: Dad was dead. 270 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,527 And his mustache was on a cactus. 271 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,005 And that is what would've happened, 272 00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:50,485 definitely, for sure. 273 00:08:50,659 --> 00:08:52,706 Huh. It really makes you think about stuff. 274 00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:54,142 No, Dad wouldn't die. 275 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,709 Mom and Dad would end up together! 276 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,144 Also, if they arrested everyone, 277 00:08:57,318 --> 00:08:58,494 who would go to the amusement park? 278 00:08:58,668 --> 00:08:59,799 German tourists. 279 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,715 Hey, Dad, I found something here. 280 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:05,500 "Loss of facial hair can be caused by testicular failure." 281 00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:06,894 Testicular failure? 282 00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:09,070 Gee, even your testicles are failures. 283 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,505 They're trying. 284 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,202 Let's just change the subject, please. 285 00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:14,205 Sure. Sports? What are they? 286 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:15,554 I know what would have happened 287 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,381 if Dad met Mom without a mustache, 288 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,036 and it's even more tragic. 289 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,602 Guys, why are we doing this? 290 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,169 Mom and Dad would always, always end up together. 291 00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:23,736 Shh, Tina. 292 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,216 Love at first sight is a powerful thing 293 00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:28,044 between two people. 294 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,698 This is how you throw a shrimp! 295 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,395 Hi. I'm Bob. 296 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,702 But usually one of those people will not be into it. 297 00:09:33,876 --> 00:09:35,096 Hi. I'm not into it. 298 00:09:35,269 --> 00:09:36,357 And then it's not powerful at all. 299 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,663 Just sad. 300 00:09:37,837 --> 00:09:40,014 And I'm semi-happily engaged. 301 00:09:40,187 --> 00:09:42,102 But Mom at least had some advice for Dad. 302 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,365 Look, I'm gonna be blunt. You're a butter lip. 303 00:09:44,539 --> 00:09:46,542 You need a little face candy. Cocaine? 304 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,022 No I'm talking about a mustache. 305 00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,676 You know the saying. 306 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,938 A gentleman down south, but a bad boy above the mouth? 307 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,548 I don't know that saying, 308 00:09:53,722 --> 00:09:55,899 but if I had a mustache, you'd be into it? 309 00:09:56,072 --> 00:09:57,596 Yeah, maybe, but it doesn't matter. 310 00:09:57,770 --> 00:09:59,554 I'm only in town for one night, and I'm pretty sure 311 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,730 you can't grow a mustache in 24 hours, so, bye. 312 00:10:01,904 --> 00:10:04,081 LOUISE: A smarter man would have known he was getting the brush-off, 313 00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:06,779 but Dad was so hooked on her, and so stupid, 314 00:10:06,953 --> 00:10:08,432 he took it as a challenge. 315 00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:09,913 Dad tried everything. 316 00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:11,393 He rubbed. 317 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,567 He glued. 318 00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:14,438 He sprayed. 319 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,179 [coughing] 320 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:20,096 There was only one thing left to try-- a wish. 321 00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:22,317 I wish I had a must... 322 00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:24,231 Out of order, buddy! Oh, no! 323 00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:25,798 The swami's hand's on the fritz. 324 00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:27,451 His middle finger keeps popping up. 325 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:28,845 Not what people are looking for. 326 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:30,455 Well, then, can yougrant me a wish? 327 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:31,892 I'm not really qualified. 328 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,588 I mean, I'm just the repair guy. I... 329 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:34,937 Look, it's an emergency! 330 00:10:35,111 --> 00:10:36,809 All right, uh, I'll do it, 331 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,812 but if you wish my clothes off, I'm gonna be mad. 332 00:10:38,985 --> 00:10:40,422 I-I wish I had a mustache. 333 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,642 Uh, your wish is granted.Great, thank you. 334 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,947 All right, no guarantees on that. 335 00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:46,427 Bad swami. 336 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,908 LOUISE: At first, nothing happened. 337 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,736 [sighs] What was I thinking? 338 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:51,955 And then... 339 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,609 [gasps, chuckles] 340 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:55,263 [laughs] 341 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,831 You sweet, magical, fortune-teller repairman. 342 00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,484 [Linda grunts]Ow. 343 00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:00,964 It's real. How'd you do it? 344 00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:02,312 Don't worry about the past. 345 00:11:02,486 --> 00:11:03,966 Let's just talk about our future. 346 00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:06,317 Huh, you got a little soul patch, too. 347 00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:07,884 Oh, um, so I do. 348 00:11:08,057 --> 00:11:09,972 And kind of a unibrow, how'd I miss that? 349 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:13,193 Giant muttonchops and knuckle afros 350 00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:15,630 and a bushel of hair coming out of both ears. 351 00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:17,153 And your nose, too. 352 00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:18,373 Uh, okay, so should we order? 353 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,634 Oh, I'm gonna throw up.What? 354 00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:21,681 Waiter! [gags] 355 00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:25,989 BOB: So I'm like a werewolf? 356 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,860 That's kind of fun, kind of cool. 357 00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:30,514 No, you just have uncontrollable hair growth everywhere. 358 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,213 That's not really... that's just uncomfortable. 359 00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:34,693 Yeah. Don't worry, Dad. 360 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,565 When you're destined to be together, 361 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,350 uncontrollable hair growth can't stop uncontrollable love growth. 362 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,351 Shush, shush, Mom was super grossed out, 363 00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:44,006 so Dad needed to unwish his wish fast, 364 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,225 but... 365 00:11:45,399 --> 00:11:46,662 Oh, crap, the machine's gone. 366 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,490 I'm stuck like this forever. 367 00:11:48,663 --> 00:11:50,578 Dad was devastated. 368 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,494 He slumped away, hairily. 369 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,844 Bob, wait; you're a good man, and you did this for me. 370 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,672 Let's try to make it work. [gags] 371 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,369 Are you still gagging? 372 00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:07,203 There you are. 373 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,076 There he is. 374 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,554 You want to see? 375 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,166 Oh, so that was a lot of work for nothing. 376 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,688 Sorry. [clicks tongue, sighs] 377 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,038 Maybe we should just go for a walk. 378 00:12:15,211 --> 00:12:16,431 You wanna go for a walk? 379 00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,866 Do ya? Do you wanna go? 380 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,869 Uh, can you not say it like that? 381 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,261 He's excited. 382 00:12:21,436 --> 00:12:22,697 He heard the "W" word. 383 00:12:22,871 --> 00:12:24,787 I'm a little excited, but please stop. 384 00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,354 LOUISE: For a moment there, it seemed 385 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,138 like they had it all figured out. 386 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,270 Hey, hair ball, put it in a ponytail, right?! 387 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,099 You're shedding all over the sidewalk! 388 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,621 [sighs]Shake it off. 389 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,057 Let's pick up the pace a little, come on. 390 00:12:35,231 --> 00:12:36,232 Cool! 391 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,799 You see, that guy gets it. 392 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:41,934 I love it, but society will never accept you... 393 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,240 [sighs] He's right. 394 00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:44,720 What kind of future could I give you? 395 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,027 What can I do with my life, looking like this? 396 00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,418 You could, uh... 397 00:12:48,592 --> 00:12:50,072 Uh... 398 00:12:50,246 --> 00:12:52,379 Uh... Nah. Oh! 399 00:12:52,553 --> 00:12:55,121 BOB: So I thought I would be an excellent freak 400 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:56,210 in your freak show. 401 00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,688 Mm-hmm. 402 00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,865 Any, uh, qualifications? 403 00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:01,868 I'm... I'm covered in hair. 404 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,216 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 405 00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:04,566 Education? What? 406 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:05,740 Education? Oh. 407 00:13:05,914 --> 00:13:08,482 I... Yes, Dartmouth.Ooh. 408 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:09,484 Uh, I'm sorry, I lied. 409 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:10,441 I panicked and I lied. 410 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:11,746 I see.Harvard. 411 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,096 Oh.I lied again, I don't... 412 00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:14,793 I...I didn't go to college. 413 00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,578 So you thought you could just grow your hair a little 414 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,014 and jump into the freak business, did you? 415 00:13:19,188 --> 00:13:20,886 Um... These people are professionals. 416 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,365 They are trained. 417 00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:24,106 Can you hang bricks from your nipples? 418 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,109 I... I-I don't think I can. 419 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,283 You would know. 420 00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:28,633 I'm sorry I wasted your time. 421 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:30,113 You know what? You're hired. 422 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,592 Wait, that's... that's great. 423 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,072 You go on in ten minutes. 424 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,205 Get the hair dryer! We need a blowout! 425 00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:37,467 LOUISE: Dad lived out the rest of his life as a freak. 426 00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,165 Mom developed an allergy and left him 427 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,644 and became a nun, 'cause she thought 428 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,168 it would be likeSister Act. 429 00:13:42,342 --> 00:13:44,126 It wasn't, and they kicked her out. 430 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,475 Now she's in jail. The end. 431 00:13:45,649 --> 00:13:46,913 Mm. 432 00:13:47,086 --> 00:13:48,392 So I have even less dignity in that story. 433 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,133 So that's the one we'll accept as true. 434 00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:51,655 That's what would have happened. 435 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,441 Dad, great news! There's a treatment 436 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:56,269 for your midlife problems: a mustache transplant. 437 00:13:56,443 --> 00:13:58,663 "Let our talented doctors take follicles 438 00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,143 "from a hairier part of your body 439 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,578 and surgically implant them on your lip." 440 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:02,971 I'm not doing that. 441 00:14:03,145 --> 00:14:04,321 But you're the perfect candidate. 442 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,801 You have hair everywhere! 443 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,368 Back-stache, belly-stache. 444 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,673 Hello? Butt-stache!Can we just...? 445 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,501 Let Tina have the floor finally? 446 00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:14,722 Yes, because I know that even if there's no mustache that night, 447 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,681 Mom and Dad would still fall in love 448 00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:19,162 because of fate, which is great! Remember?! 449 00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:20,816 This is how you throw a shrimp! 450 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,338 Ow! Aah! 451 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:25,341 [both laughing] 452 00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:26,691 [both sigh] 453 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,302 TINA: Done. They're in love. 454 00:14:28,475 --> 00:14:29,869 Everyone got that? Everyone clear? 455 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,696 Uh... that doesn't sound right. 456 00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:34,090 Yeah, Dad makes a weird noise when he's hurt, 457 00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,135 and it's not attractive to women or anyone. 458 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,701 It scares cats. 459 00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:39,269 Huh. Yeah. 460 00:14:39,442 --> 00:14:42,229 Um, okay, maybe they start out a little rocky. 461 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,360 Hey, crazy arms, take your crazy-arm medication! 462 00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:46,363 Looks like you took too much of your medication. 463 00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:47,842 Call your doctor 464 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,365 if you experience any of these symptoms. 465 00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:51,846 Ugly face, dumb face, dumb breath, 466 00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,500 donkey neck, weird legs. 467 00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:54,894 Weird legs? 468 00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,547 Only from the waist down. 469 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,375 Um, now that they've gotten all that off their chests, 470 00:14:58,548 --> 00:15:00,072 sparks are ready to fly. 471 00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:01,769 [laughing]: Oh, boy. 472 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,553 I don't think this is getting back on track, T. 473 00:15:03,727 --> 00:15:05,600 No, it does. Fate! Destiny! 474 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,907 Let's get married and have three kids and live together forever! 475 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,211 Okay. 476 00:15:09,385 --> 00:15:10,735 Mm...Completely unbelievable. 477 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,259 Yeah, I don't think so, Tina. 478 00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:14,216 Mm, nah, that's not the Linda I know. 479 00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:16,219 Oh, my God, you're right. Dad would have walked out, 480 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,177 and they would have been out of each other's lives. 481 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,048 And then... Huh! Huh! Wha-What? What? 482 00:15:20,222 --> 00:15:21,745 Huh! Huh! Huh! What?! 483 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,096 It's bad! It's bad! 484 00:15:23,269 --> 00:15:24,836 Maybe you're just telling it bad? 485 00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,186 Don't you see?! 486 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,100 If Mom and Dad don't get together, 487 00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:29,493 Mom's engagement to Hugo is never broken! 488 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,885 [both gasping] 489 00:15:31,059 --> 00:15:32,801 Are we ready, darling? 490 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,411 So, we're actually doing this? 491 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:35,890 Of course! This isn't the rehearsal anymore? 492 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,849 This is the... the thing? 493 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,328 TINA: Hugo grows a mustache for the wedding. 494 00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:40,895 It's bushy, and it has it going on. 495 00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,375 GENE: No! 496 00:15:42,549 --> 00:15:44,421 TINA: It gets worse. 497 00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:47,380 They have three children-- Mona, Dean and Charlize. 498 00:15:47,554 --> 00:15:48,947 And because Mom never breaks up with Hugo, 499 00:15:49,121 --> 00:15:50,427 he never suffers the tragic heartbreak 500 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,168 that turned him into a health inspector. 501 00:15:52,341 --> 00:15:55,605 So he's happy, and he pursues his dream of opening... 502 00:15:55,779 --> 00:15:57,259 a restaurant. 503 00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:59,610 Big day today. It's a holiday weekend. 504 00:15:59,783 --> 00:16:01,785 All right, let's sell some hot dogs! 505 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,352 I got it all, baby! 506 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,442 Uh, three kids and a mustache! Nothing missing! 507 00:16:05,615 --> 00:16:08,096 Big day for another reason, too, right, Linda? 508 00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:10,099 It's May 5. 5/5. 509 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:11,230 Oh, yeah, your height! 510 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,797 Yes, my height! 511 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,061 Also, Cinco de Mayo! Also, our anniversary! 512 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,758 Right, we got married! 513 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,326 I'm so happy. No lingering regret at all! 514 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,937 Thank you for the best anniversary! All of you! 515 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:24,504 You're my children, and you're all wonderful. 516 00:16:24,678 --> 00:16:27,812 You, Mona, with your appropriate level of interest in boys. 517 00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:30,163 Boys? Shrug. What else you got? 518 00:16:30,336 --> 00:16:31,642 And don't say horses. 519 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,644 And Dean, my little man. 520 00:16:33,817 --> 00:16:35,645 If only I could pull you out of your shell! 521 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,778 Dad, please! Stop paying attention to me. 522 00:16:37,952 --> 00:16:39,128 I can't bear the spotlight! 523 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,520 Sorry for screaming. 524 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,001 And little Charlize, with your stickers 525 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,177 and your princess dolls. Could you be any sweeter? 526 00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:47,135 Well, is there anything else I can do 527 00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:48,528 to help the family business? 528 00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:49,442 Give us a twirl! 529 00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:50,792 Whee! 530 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,793 You're a monster. 531 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:54,664 It's not me, don't you see? It's what would have happened! 532 00:16:54,838 --> 00:16:56,971 And now your mother and I are going downstairs 533 00:16:57,145 --> 00:16:59,105 to stuff the sausage.Gross. 534 00:16:59,278 --> 00:17:00,496 Okay, that's enough. 535 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,499 I wish it was, Dad, but there's more. 536 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,196 Since you never fell in love with Mom, 537 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:05,675 your life was different, too! 538 00:17:05,849 --> 00:17:07,155 Hugo's Hot Dogs, here we are. 539 00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:08,505 You coming, partner? 540 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:09,897 BOB: Yes, I'm coming, Ron! 541 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,377 I have to. I'm a health inspector! 542 00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:14,119 It's my job! 543 00:17:17,426 --> 00:17:19,167 Free samples! Put your hands on a wiener! 544 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:20,865 No double entendre intended! 545 00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,345 Hey, I know this building. 546 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,042 I tried to rent it 20 years ago, 547 00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:25,869 but somebody got in just ahead of me. 548 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,523 Oh, and then didn't you go on 549 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,134 to have a series of failed restaurants? 550 00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:30,570 Yeah. Thanks, Ron. 551 00:17:30,744 --> 00:17:32,442 Mona, honey, Jimmy Junior's on the phone. 552 00:17:32,615 --> 00:17:35,183 He wants to take you to the new zombie movie tonight. 553 00:17:35,357 --> 00:17:37,272 Ugh. Jimmy Junior? Zombies? 554 00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:40,058 [scoffs] Maybe in a parallel universe. 555 00:17:40,232 --> 00:17:42,191 Hello, we're here to inspect you. 556 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,932 Whee! I'm Princess Spins-around! 557 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,195 That doesn't sound like a real princess. 558 00:17:47,369 --> 00:17:47,935 Shut up! 559 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,502 I... Sir? Ma'am? 560 00:17:49,676 --> 00:17:51,026 Oh, sweetheart, please, please! 561 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,375 I don't like him! 562 00:17:52,548 --> 00:17:54,202 Hey, I know you from somewhere. 563 00:17:54,376 --> 00:17:57,510 [gasps] Ugly face, dumb face, donkey neck, weird legs! 564 00:17:57,684 --> 00:17:59,903 Oh, uh, uh, crazy arms, right? How are you? 565 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:01,950 Eh.Well, we have to check something out. 566 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,038 There's a rumor that you make your wieners 567 00:18:04,212 --> 00:18:07,086 out of actual wiener dogs. 568 00:18:07,259 --> 00:18:09,044 I mean, it's obviously false, but... 569 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,001 No, it's true. 570 00:18:11,176 --> 00:18:12,568 What?! Hugo! 571 00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:14,180 Sorry, is that not 572 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,397 the gourmetway to make wieners? Hmm. 573 00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:16,921 Why didn't I know about this? 574 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,357 In my defense, the pet mortuary 575 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,359 I get the dog meat from is very respected! 576 00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:21,883 Got to go.Bye, Mort! 577 00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,537 You don't know me! 578 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,582 Hugo, I've been eating a real wiener dog every day? 579 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,932 Now I don't even know if I can finish this one. 580 00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:29,412 Nope, I can. 581 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,632 I guess this is for you. 582 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,112 Hugo, let me talk to him. 583 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,288 Maybe I can smooth this over. 584 00:18:35,461 --> 00:18:37,376 Who likes milkshakes for free? 585 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,942 No dog in it. 586 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:40,728 It's chocolate, not chocolate lab. Ha, ha. 587 00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,425 I'm not into... puns. [slurping] 588 00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,298 Oh, you got a little chocolate mustache. 589 00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:48,344 Oh. No, kind of looks... nice, actually. 590 00:18:48,518 --> 00:18:50,738 Ooh, I just got the weirdest feeling inside. 591 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,305 Could be salmonella. 592 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,133 That's what most weird feelings inside are. 593 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,568 No, it's like, uh... 594 00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:57,570 something got on the wrong track... 595 00:18:57,744 --> 00:18:59,224 a long time ago. 596 00:18:59,398 --> 00:19:01,051 It could also be diarrhea. 597 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:02,618 Hmm. Come on, Ron. 598 00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:04,446 Let's blow this hot dog stand. 599 00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:05,926 I get it. 600 00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,232 CHILDREN: Bye, Mr. Health Inspectors! 601 00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:08,756 I admire you both. Bye. 602 00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,236 Come on, Ron! 603 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,976 That's what would have happened. 604 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,586 Tina, you got dark, girl. 605 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,284 You got real dark. 606 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,633 That was... disturbing. 607 00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:17,981 I need to go lie down. 608 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,461 I kind of want a hot dog. 609 00:19:19,635 --> 00:19:20,942 So, that's it. 610 00:19:21,115 --> 00:19:22,422 There's no such thing as fate. 611 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,510 Everything is randomness and chaos! 612 00:19:24,684 --> 00:19:26,990 Uh-huh.A meteorite could crash into our house any second! 613 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:28,992 Any second. No one is meant for anyone! 614 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,299 Not a soul!Tina, honey, it's okay, it's okay. 615 00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:33,301 Everything israndom, 616 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,521 but that's what makes life so wonderful. 617 00:19:35,695 --> 00:19:38,046 Sometimes all the crap in the universe lines up, 618 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,961 like that night I met your father. 619 00:19:40,134 --> 00:19:42,963 Or like the time I petted that dog and found a Cheeto.Yeah. 620 00:19:43,137 --> 00:19:44,922 Everything lined up, and it came out Belcher. 621 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,315 How beautiful is that? 622 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,708 I mean, look at Gene. 623 00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:49,188 Okay, don't look at Gene. 624 00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,015 It's because my pants are off, isn't it? 625 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,669 I'm getting ready to exercise, 626 00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:55,019 and I don't want to sweat all over my Saturday shorts. 627 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:57,152 Tina, what your mother is saying is, 628 00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,720 maybe we weren't meantto be together, but we aretogether. 629 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,548 No, that's not what I was saying. 630 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:03,201 Well, I mean, I... what I... I meant that in a good way. 631 00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:04,855 Bob. Yeah. Wait. I get it. 632 00:20:05,028 --> 00:20:06,682 It was random fate that brought you together. 633 00:20:06,856 --> 00:20:09,250 Fate is real. It's just really random. No. 634 00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:11,078 It makes perfect sense. I feel so much better. 635 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,167 Okay, then, that's what it is.Great talk, everybody. 636 00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,518 Ow! This seat hurts my private parts! 637 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,519 Ah, who am I kidding? They're not that private. 638 00:20:17,693 --> 00:20:19,305 Wait. Oh, my God, that's it! 639 00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,175 What? What is?The bike! Testicular failure! 640 00:20:21,349 --> 00:20:23,874 I've been giving it to myself by riding the bike so much! 641 00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,310 It's been squeezing your tchotchkes, 642 00:20:25,484 --> 00:20:27,226 and you didn't notice that? 643 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,531 I guess I didn't notice it over how much everything else hurt. 644 00:20:29,705 --> 00:20:31,838 But the results are fantastic. Look at you! 645 00:20:32,012 --> 00:20:33,884 I bet if I stop riding that thing, 646 00:20:34,057 --> 00:20:35,582 my mustache will grow back! 647 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,713 Yeah, or you keep riding and get the butt-stache surgery. 648 00:20:37,887 --> 00:20:40,455 Both great options. Maybe put it to a vote?No. 649 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,415 Maybe vote on whether to vote?Well, that's fair. 650 00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:46,069 All in favor of voting in favor for the butt-stache? 651 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:47,942 All opposed to nobutt-stache? 652 00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:51,336 Interesting. Oh, my God. I'm moving out. 653 00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:56,558 Hugo, did you ever feel we were... meant to be together? 654 00:20:56,732 --> 00:20:59,083 Not this again, Ron! 655 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,433 TINA: ♪ It's called fate and it's great ♪ 656 00:21:01,607 --> 00:21:03,305 ♪ That's an easy way to remember it ♪ 657 00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,088 ♪ It's called fate and it's great ♪ 658 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,916 ♪ That's an easy way to remember it ♪ 659 00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,657 LOUISE: No, no, no, no. 660 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,660 ♪ Shave Dad's face ♪♪ Ooh, ooh♪ 661 00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,836 ♪ Belcher kids are erased ♪♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪ 662 00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:15,230 GENE: ♪ If Dad's lip has no hair ♪♪ Ooh, ooh♪ 663 00:21:15,403 --> 00:21:17,450 ♪ We never come out of there ♪♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪ 664 00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,756 TINA: ♪ It's called fate and it's great ♪ 665 00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:21,801 ♪ That's an easy way to remember it ♪ 666 00:21:21,976 --> 00:21:24,107 ♪ Call it fate-- fate♪ 667 00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:26,936 ♪ Or destiny-- destiny♪ 668 00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:29,200 ♪ Fate, fate, fate, fate...♪TINA: Fate is real. It's just really random. 669 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,419 BOB: No. 670 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,376 TINA: It makes perfect sense. 671 00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:32,595 I feel so much better.