1
00:00:20,227 --> 00:00:22,091
LOUISE:
Click. Click.

2
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:23,954
Click, click.

3
00:00:23,989 --> 00:00:25,059
Louise, stop saying click.Click.

4
00:00:25,094 --> 00:00:26,335
Click.And, Tina,

5
00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,751
will you stop
typing like that?

6
00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:29,062
I'm refreshing my e-mail.

7
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,099
I'm waiting for an invitation

8
00:00:30,132 --> 00:00:31,271
to Tammy's Bat Mitzvah.

9
00:00:31,306 --> 00:00:32,756
I believe the term
is badminton.

10
00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:33,756
Common mistake.

11
00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:35,414
No, Gene. Tammy's Jewish.

12
00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:37,243
It's a ceremony
where she reads from the Torah,

13
00:00:37,277 --> 00:00:38,728
lights a candle
and becomes a woman.

14
00:00:38,762 --> 00:00:41,075
Sounds like my spa night.
Except I read

15
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:43,180
The Girl with the Dragon
Tattoo.[groans]

16
00:00:43,215 --> 00:00:44,457
You know a lot
about Bat Mitzvahs

17
00:00:44,491 --> 00:00:46,079
for someone
who thought Chanukah

18
00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:48,185
was Han Solo
and Chewbacca's baby.

19
00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:50,359
It's about becoming a woman
and it's a really great party.

20
00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:52,223
Why wouldn't I research that?

21
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:55,088
Plus, rumor has it this one's
gonna be packed with B-FOS.

22
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:56,296
What are B-FOS?

23
00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:58,091
B-F-O-S.
Boys From Other Schools.

24
00:00:58,127 --> 00:00:59,472
What's wrong with the boys
from your school?

25
00:00:59,506 --> 00:01:00,612
I need fresh faces.

26
00:01:00,646 --> 00:01:01,957
[quieter]:
And fresh butts.

27
00:01:01,991 --> 00:01:03,234
You'll take the butts
you're given

28
00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:04,409
and you'll like it!

29
00:01:04,442 --> 00:01:06,307
[school bell ringing]

30
00:01:06,341 --> 00:01:08,137
Don't you dare call back
until it's done!

31
00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:09,275
Do you understand me?

32
00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:10,760
Okay, bye, Mom.

33
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:12,278
Hi, Tammy.[groans]

34
00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:13,590
Tina, I am up to my pits

35
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:15,454
in Bat Mitzvah planning.Mm-hmm.

36
00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:17,111
But I figured out the theme,

37
00:01:17,146 --> 00:01:19,112
which is "Tammy"!

38
00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,114
Me, it just makes sense.

39
00:01:20,149 --> 00:01:21,150
Nice.

40
00:01:21,183 --> 00:01:22,150
You get an "O" for original.

41
00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:23,254
And for O-M-G I didn't get

42
00:01:23,289 --> 00:01:24,670
an invite to your Bat Mitzvah.

43
00:01:24,704 --> 00:01:27,016
Mm, that's 'cause
I didn't invite you.

44
00:01:27,051 --> 00:01:28,466
Oh. That "O" doesn't
stand for anything.

45
00:01:28,501 --> 00:01:30,228
It's just me
being surprised.

46
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:32,264
I was really looking
forward to all those B-FOS.

47
00:01:32,299 --> 00:01:34,508
Mm, me too.
Yeah, a lot of B-FOS.

48
00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:35,611
I got Hebrew School B-FOS.Mm-hmm.

49
00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:36,819
Mm-hmm.I got Camp B-FOS.

50
00:01:36,854 --> 00:01:38,305
I got B-FOS who
are Filipinos.

51
00:01:38,338 --> 00:01:39,513
Fili-B-FOS.

52
00:01:39,546 --> 00:01:40,652
Got your invite, Tammy.

53
00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:42,688
We'll be there.Bat Mitzvah, baby!

54
00:01:42,722 --> 00:01:44,241
Hava Nagiddiyup![laughs]

55
00:01:44,276 --> 00:01:45,346
Giddyap, boy!Ow!

56
00:01:45,381 --> 00:01:47,106
Get! Giddyap!Ow! [grunts]

57
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,521
Ow!Yeah!

58
00:01:48,555 --> 00:01:50,454
Well, if a spot opens up,
keep me in mind.

59
00:01:50,489 --> 00:01:51,697
Spots are for underwear, Tina.

60
00:01:51,731 --> 00:01:53,664
Not my Bat Mitzvah.
Got to run!

61
00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:55,355
[sighs]

62
00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:58,289
Tina, that's the third time
you sighed on my sandwich.

63
00:01:58,325 --> 00:01:59,635
You're heating up
the bread.

64
00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:00,810
It just seems
like everyone's going

65
00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,156
to Tammy's Bat Mitzvah
but me.

66
00:02:02,191 --> 00:02:04,468
But you got to go to
Shauna's Bat Mitzvah.

67
00:02:04,503 --> 00:02:06,055
Shauna had a Bat Mitzvah?

68
00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:07,644
Oh! Uh...

69
00:02:07,679 --> 00:02:09,300
No!

70
00:02:09,336 --> 00:02:11,614
Mom! Shauna Glassman
had five caterers

71
00:02:11,647 --> 00:02:13,167
at her Bat Mitzvah
and everyone talked

72
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,271
about how great that was.

73
00:02:14,306 --> 00:02:15,721
So, we need sixcaterers.

74
00:02:15,756 --> 00:02:17,550
Find me another caterer

75
00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:18,723
or I'm gonna find another mom!

76
00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:20,036
Excuse me, Tammy?
I couldn't help

77
00:02:20,069 --> 00:02:21,623
overhearing
your conversation.

78
00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:23,073
If you need another caterer
for your Bat Mitzvah,

79
00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,522
my dad can do it.

80
00:02:24,557 --> 00:02:26,663
We help him with catering jobs
all the time.

81
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:27,733
No, no, we can't do that.

82
00:02:27,768 --> 00:02:28,734
[groans]
What does he do again?

83
00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:29,838
Nothing. No...Burgers.

84
00:02:29,872 --> 00:02:30,908
[groans]
Can he do sliders?

85
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,186
'Cause I want
slider burgers.

86
00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:33,394
Oh, no, he's terrible
at sliders.

87
00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,361
He can do sliders.No, he...

88
00:02:35,396 --> 00:02:37,191
He can make them as
small as you want.Oh.... He has a real...

89
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,710
He can make them so small
you can't even see them.No.

90
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:39,813
I'm eating one right now.

91
00:02:39,848 --> 00:02:40,849
[groans] Fine.[phone ringing]

92
00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:42,057
He's hired, he's hired.

93
00:02:42,091 --> 00:02:43,163
No!Oh, okay.

94
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,198
We'll be there!

95
00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:45,406
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

96
00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:46,579
Just have your parents
call my parents.

97
00:02:46,614 --> 00:02:47,752
I got to take this.

98
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:49,651
What is it now,
Rabbi Rosenberg?

99
00:02:49,686 --> 00:02:51,100
What is it now?

100
00:02:51,135 --> 00:02:52,688
Yes!Great!

101
00:02:52,723 --> 00:02:54,484
Now we all have to go
to that "Brat" Mitzvah.

102
00:02:54,519 --> 00:02:56,105
Have fun explaining
this to Dad!

103
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,486
I'm sure Dad
will love it.

104
00:02:57,521 --> 00:02:58,418
No way.

105
00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,489
Dad, you have to!

106
00:02:59,524 --> 00:03:00,697
No I don't, Tina.

107
00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:01,663
I-I don't like catering.

108
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:02,872
You guys always wander off

109
00:03:02,906 --> 00:03:04,217
and leave me with all the work.

110
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,323
Dad, this is the only way I get

111
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:07,014
to go to Tammy's Bat Mitzvah!

112
00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:09,326
Tina, this isn't going
to Tammy's Bat Mitzvah.

113
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,361
It's working at it.

114
00:03:10,396 --> 00:03:11,674
Won't it be awkward for you

115
00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:13,400
with all your friends
there as guests?

116
00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:15,609
You don't understand!
This is my way in!

117
00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:17,575
She's having B-FOS
from all around the world!

118
00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:18,921
[groaning]

119
00:03:18,956 --> 00:03:21,235
All right, calm down.
That's it.

120
00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:23,236
Get all the blood to your head.
Let it flow.

121
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,549
Does it really mean
that much to you?

122
00:03:24,582 --> 00:03:25,757
Yes! Look at my face!

123
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:26,688
Oh, my God.

124
00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:28,414
Aah! One luftballon!

125
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:29,864
Okay, get her up, get her up!

126
00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:31,796
[all grunting]

127
00:03:31,831 --> 00:03:33,247
I don't know.

128
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,247
We won't leave you alone

129
00:03:34,283 --> 00:03:36,216
this time, Bobby. Right, guys?

130
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,389
Eh.
Soft maybe.

131
00:03:37,424 --> 00:03:38,562
Please, Dad?

132
00:03:38,597 --> 00:03:39,701
Fine. We'll do it.

133
00:03:39,735 --> 00:03:41,737
Yay!All right!

134
00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,084
Now can I get circumcised?

135
00:03:43,118 --> 00:03:45,016
Gene.
I know some people.

136
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:51,437
♪

137
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,545
Look at all this food.

138
00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:58,237
It's like we died and went to
fancy mall food court heaven.

139
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,307
That is the
creepiest thing

140
00:03:59,341 --> 00:04:00,825
I've ever seen.

141
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:02,068
TINA:
I think it's nice.

142
00:04:02,103 --> 00:04:03,139
Two mini burgers, please.

143
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:04,277
Hey, Jimmy Jr.

144
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,280
Zeke.
What's it like out there?

145
00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,557
So sweet. They even have
a DJ in the bathroom.

146
00:04:08,592 --> 00:04:10,836
I was dancing so hard I
forgot why I went in there.

147
00:04:10,871 --> 00:04:12,459
Wow.I've had not one,

148
00:04:12,492 --> 00:04:14,563
not two, but three Tammy-tinis!

149
00:04:14,598 --> 00:04:16,117
I'm waiting for the sugar
to hit me!

150
00:04:16,151 --> 00:04:17,428
Here I go, oh!Here he goes.

151
00:04:17,463 --> 00:04:19,293
It's gonna happen.It's coming!

152
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,673
Here we go. Kaboom!

153
00:04:20,707 --> 00:04:21,846
Nice!

154
00:04:21,882 --> 00:04:23,608
I'm hyper. Officially hyper.

155
00:04:23,641 --> 00:04:24,850
Wow, sounds grea...

156
00:04:24,884 --> 00:04:26,403
Hey, can we get
those mini burgers?

157
00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:28,302
They're taking
a long time.
Oh, right.

158
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,338
[feedback squeals]Hurry up, T-town.

159
00:04:30,372 --> 00:04:32,685
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together

160
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,274
for the star of the evening.

161
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:35,860
Tammy!

162
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:38,278
♪ She's Tammy, she's glammy

163
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,175
♪ She's just a little hammy

164
00:04:40,209 --> 00:04:41,591
♪ If she sang a song
right now ♪

165
00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:44,283
♪ She'd probably
win a Grammy ♪

166
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,663
♪ You know who I'm talking of

167
00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:47,701
♪ So why don't you all say
mazel tov ♪

168
00:04:47,735 --> 00:04:49,944
♪ Tammy, yeah.

169
00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:51,807
Hey, everyone!

170
00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:52,981
Mazel tov to me!

171
00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:54,846
Mazel tov!

172
00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:56,675
Tina, is this Tammy-tastrophe

173
00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:58,298
everything you dreamed
it would be?

174
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,540
I wish I was more in the mix.

175
00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:00,990
From here, I can only
look at the B-FOS,

176
00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:02,473
but not touch.You could probably touch them.

177
00:05:02,509 --> 00:05:04,165
You think so?Yeah.

178
00:05:04,199 --> 00:05:05,338
[grunting]

179
00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:06,444
No, I can't.Aw, I have

180
00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:07,478
bad depth perception, sorry.

181
00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:09,031
What's going on here?

182
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:11,240
Where are the
Tammy toothpicks?Tammy what?

183
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:13,242
All of the food is supposed
to have toothpicks

184
00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:14,382
with my face on top.

185
00:05:14,416 --> 00:05:15,798
Janet, what's happening?

186
00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:17,661
Here are your toothpicks.

187
00:05:17,696 --> 00:05:19,490
And here's your headset.

188
00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:20,802
You didn't give them
a headset either?

189
00:05:20,836 --> 00:05:22,838
God, Janet!What's this for?

190
00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:25,704
So Janet can stay in contact
with all the caterers. Duh.

191
00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,637
Why would we need
to stay in contact?

192
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:29,362
Hello?! The toothpicks?

193
00:05:29,398 --> 00:05:30,744
That was almost
a major disaster.

194
00:05:30,778 --> 00:05:32,401
Uh, you're kind
of exaggerating, Tammy.

195
00:05:32,435 --> 00:05:33,540
I'm exaggerating?

196
00:05:33,574 --> 00:05:34,886
Yeah, I think so.
A little bit.

197
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,887
That is literally
the stupidest thing

198
00:05:36,922 --> 00:05:38,821
that anyone has ever said
in the history of mankind.

199
00:05:38,855 --> 00:05:40,235
Ever!

200
00:05:40,269 --> 00:05:41,548
You're having a hard day,
I think.

201
00:05:41,581 --> 00:05:42,687
I'm having the best
day of my life.

202
00:05:42,721 --> 00:05:43,721
It's my Bat Mitzvah.

203
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:44,930
You're a wonderful
little girl.

204
00:05:44,965 --> 00:05:46,000
Thank you.

205
00:05:46,034 --> 00:05:47,036
What a 'tude.

206
00:05:47,069 --> 00:05:48,348
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

207
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:49,590
During the walk
there and back,

208
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:50,728
it'll be like
I'm at the party.

209
00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:52,281
Great, now we lost Tina.

210
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:54,007
No one else is allowed to leave.

211
00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:55,423
TAMMY [over headset]: Janet,
we're out of ranch dressing!

212
00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:56,872
JANET: Um... I-I...If a chicken tender

213
00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,288
touches my lips
without ranch dressing

214
00:05:58,322 --> 00:05:59,875
I am literally
going to kill someone!

215
00:05:59,911 --> 00:06:01,290
I'm not wearing this.

216
00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:02,257
I'll take that.

217
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:05,225
Bat Zilla.

218
00:06:05,261 --> 00:06:07,781
[roaring]

219
00:06:07,814 --> 00:06:09,403
Oh, no. Who said that?

220
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,853
Janet, are you
listening to me?

221
00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:12,682
LOUISE:
Bat Zilla's angry, Janet.

222
00:06:12,716 --> 00:06:13,959
What are you gonna do?

223
00:06:13,994 --> 00:06:15,408
JANET:
Uh, please, if this could just,

224
00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:17,237
uh, I've got two
and half more hours?

225
00:06:17,273 --> 00:06:19,757
Bat Zilla's gonna kill you
in under two.

226
00:06:19,793 --> 00:06:20,896
[whispering]:
You're absolutely right.

227
00:06:20,932 --> 00:06:22,312
You're
absolutely right.

228
00:06:22,346 --> 00:06:23,692
Janet, you got
to get out of this.

229
00:06:23,728 --> 00:06:24,762
Please help, please help!

230
00:06:24,798 --> 00:06:26,315
You're better than this!

231
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:27,800
Janet, you know
you can do better!

232
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:30,975
Who are you?The voice in your head, Janet.

233
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:32,771
Ah, no big deal.

234
00:06:32,805 --> 00:06:34,221
Just the single
greatest collection

235
00:06:34,254 --> 00:06:35,636
of food ever assembled
under one roof.

236
00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:38,398
Not gonna wander off.
Nah, good Linda.

237
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:39,639
Stay right here.

238
00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:41,745
[sniffs]

239
00:06:41,779 --> 00:06:42,954
The crepes smell good.

240
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,543
The crepes smell real good!

241
00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:46,716
Don't know you, don't know you.

242
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:47,889
Janet!

243
00:06:47,923 --> 00:06:49,442
What's wrong with Tammy's eye?

244
00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:51,721
Uh, that one's a little
bigger than that one.

245
00:06:51,755 --> 00:06:53,792
Not me! Her!Uh, uh...

246
00:06:53,826 --> 00:06:56,312
I need someone to fix the
bulb on the Tammy head stat.

247
00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:58,278
Janet, you got to
get out of here.

248
00:06:58,314 --> 00:07:01,454
I do, I do.What are you doing
here still, Janet?

249
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,975
What are your dreams?
I know you've got dreams.

250
00:07:04,009 --> 00:07:06,459
I'm gonna... move to New York.

251
00:07:06,495 --> 00:07:08,841
You should go
there, Janet.

252
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:10,774
And I'm gonna sing and dance!

253
00:07:10,809 --> 00:07:12,569
Give me some of
that singing.

254
00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:13,985
Give it to me
now, Janet.

255
00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:15,641
♪ Start sp...

256
00:07:15,675 --> 00:07:17,367
Wake up, Janet! Wake up.

257
00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:18,747
You wake up, Tammy.

258
00:07:18,783 --> 00:07:20,024
'Cause guess what?

259
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:21,957
I quit!What?!

260
00:07:21,992 --> 00:07:24,512
Oh, how the tides

261
00:07:24,547 --> 00:07:26,446
have turned, Tammy!

262
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,757
Janet, don't you dare.

263
00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:29,449
Oh, look at me.

264
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,105
The headset's a-coming
off of the ears!

265
00:07:31,139 --> 00:07:32,485
Janet, don't you take
that ear-- headset off!

266
00:07:32,521 --> 00:07:34,281
I can't hear you anymore!Janet!

267
00:07:34,314 --> 00:07:36,007
Look I respond to
nothing, Tammy!

268
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,009
Janet! Janet!

269
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:41,356
Nothing but my own
desire to be a star!

270
00:07:41,391 --> 00:07:42,461
Janet!

271
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:43,531
[laughs]

272
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:44,601
Oh, voice, voice,

273
00:07:44,636 --> 00:07:45,706
you've taught me well.

274
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:47,362
Janet!

275
00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:48,605
You're welcome, Janet.

276
00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:49,814
Excuse me, Tammy?

277
00:07:49,848 --> 00:07:51,504
This might not be
the best time

278
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,954
but can you tell me where
the ladies' room is?

279
00:07:52,988 --> 00:07:54,403
[groans]
Not now, Tina!

280
00:07:54,439 --> 00:07:55,646
[panting]

281
00:07:55,682 --> 00:07:57,511
Wait, how good are you
with a clipboard?

282
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,168
I'm okay.

283
00:07:59,201 --> 00:08:00,963
Sometimes I get my fingers
caught in the clip thing.

284
00:08:00,997 --> 00:08:02,343
Here, you're
my new coordinator.

285
00:08:02,377 --> 00:08:03,516
I am?Yeah.

286
00:08:03,552 --> 00:08:04,552
You wanted to be at the party--

287
00:08:04,586 --> 00:08:05,692
now you're running the party.

288
00:08:05,725 --> 00:08:07,002
Okay, I'll do the...

289
00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:08,004
First, the schedule's

290
00:08:08,038 --> 00:08:09,418
on the clipboard.

291
00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:10,834
We have to stick to
it no matter what.

292
00:08:10,869 --> 00:08:11,973
Got it?
Check.

293
00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:12,975
See all those people?

294
00:08:13,009 --> 00:08:14,009
Those are my relatives.

295
00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:14,976
We're not close and they all

296
00:08:15,011 --> 00:08:16,012
have old person face.

297
00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:16,978
So it's your job

298
00:08:17,012 --> 00:08:18,014
to tell me who's who.

299
00:08:18,048 --> 00:08:19,014
How will I know who's...?

300
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:20,084
There's a Tammy's family

301
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,362
cheat sheet on
the clipboard.

302
00:08:21,396 --> 00:08:23,156
Oh, okay.And that's Justin.

303
00:08:23,192 --> 00:08:24,848
He's the cutest guy
in Hebrew school.

304
00:08:24,882 --> 00:08:26,367
Remember that punim,okay?

305
00:08:26,401 --> 00:08:28,369
That means "face"
in old Jewish language.

306
00:08:28,403 --> 00:08:30,648
Justin.The ladies choice
dance is at 9:30.

307
00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:31,994
And by ladies, I mean me.

308
00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:33,754
I'm choosing Justin
as my dance partner.

309
00:08:33,788 --> 00:08:35,548
That makes sense.And that'll lead
right into the hora,

310
00:08:35,584 --> 00:08:36,999
which is when I get
lifted into a chair

311
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:38,447
and I feel like a
Jewish movie star,

312
00:08:38,482 --> 00:08:39,552
like Whoopi Goldberg.

313
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,726
Would it be okay if I went

314
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:41,727
to the bathroom really fast?

315
00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:43,177
Never mind, I-I'll hold it.

316
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:45,283
I'll make it go away.You do that.

317
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,111
LOUISE:
Tina, did you
just get bat-bullied

318
00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:48,665
into being a party planner?

319
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,115
Louise?
This line is for work only.

320
00:08:50,149 --> 00:08:51,668
Why do you want to
be the new Janet?

321
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:52,876
Well, at least I'm not stuck

322
00:08:52,911 --> 00:08:54,015
behind the burger station.

323
00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:55,568
TAMMY:
Tina, I've got a wedgie

324
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:56,777
and I'm not gonna pick it
at my own party!

325
00:08:56,812 --> 00:08:58,847
Janet had small fingers!Got to go.

326
00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:00,643
Hmm.

327
00:09:01,644 --> 00:09:02,851
Hello, guac.

328
00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:04,404
Let's take a little walk.

329
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,062
Uh, where's Louise?
Did we lose her, too?

330
00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:08,961
She's on the Mexican food,
Chinese food border.

331
00:09:08,995 --> 00:09:10,066
It's a war zone!

332
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,101
I'll go see
if she needs backup.

333
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,759
No.Oh, boo.

334
00:09:12,793 --> 00:09:14,760
Bobby, I'm getting light-headed,
I need some air.

335
00:09:14,794 --> 00:09:16,763
Lin, you're not light-headed.
You want a crepe.

336
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:18,903
You've been saying crepe under
your breath for ten minutes.

337
00:09:18,937 --> 00:09:19,903
What?!

338
00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:21,043
Crepe.

339
00:09:21,076 --> 00:09:22,043
There's crepes here?

340
00:09:22,077 --> 00:09:23,114
Crepe.You're doing it.

341
00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:24,217
I am not!

342
00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:25,599
Don't be ridiculous!

343
00:09:25,634 --> 00:09:26,703
Crepe.
You just did it.

344
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:27,807
Crepe. What?!
Oh, my God.

345
00:09:27,842 --> 00:09:29,085
I didn't do nothing.Just go.

346
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,120
I told you,
I'm light-headed.

347
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:31,086
Just go.

348
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:32,640
Crepe, crepe, crepe.Go.

349
00:09:32,674 --> 00:09:33,883
Crepe, crepe, crepe, crepe,

350
00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:34,988
cr... I'll be,
I'll be right back!

351
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,505
Mm-hmm.Crepe! Crepe!

352
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,129
Wait for me, Mom!

353
00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:39,820
[grunts]
Why aren't I moving?

354
00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,165
I will not be left alone.

355
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:42,788
But Mom said
she'd be right back!

356
00:09:42,822 --> 00:09:44,273
Gene, look at me.

357
00:09:44,307 --> 00:09:45,894
You and I both know your
mom's not coming back

358
00:09:45,929 --> 00:09:47,586
after just one crepe.

359
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,657
She's not gonna stop, Gene.

360
00:09:48,691 --> 00:09:50,003
She's never gonna stop.

361
00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:51,004
It's who she is.

362
00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:52,177
If she stops, she'll die.

363
00:09:52,211 --> 00:09:53,109
Like a crepe shark.

364
00:09:53,144 --> 00:09:54,144
Gene?Yes.

365
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:55,732
We need to stick together.

366
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:57,493
I'm gonna grill and
you're gonna plate.

367
00:09:57,527 --> 00:09:59,770
Dad, I never realized
how soulful your eyes are.

368
00:09:59,806 --> 00:10:00,979
[groans]
Gene.

369
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,394
Wait, really?

370
00:10:03,774 --> 00:10:05,018
Aunt Frida from Florida.

371
00:10:05,052 --> 00:10:06,846
She had hip-replacement
surgery last year.

372
00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:08,849
Aunt Frida!
Your new hip looks hot.

373
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:12,197
Tammy, I'm so proud
of you on your big day.

374
00:10:12,231 --> 00:10:14,198
[grunting]We got a clinger!

375
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:16,615
Tina.Let go of Tammy.

376
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:17,754
[grunts]

377
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:18,927
Those are your parents.

378
00:10:18,962 --> 00:10:20,549
I know who my
parents are, Tina.

379
00:10:20,585 --> 00:10:21,861
Are you having fun, honey?

380
00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:24,519
Mom, you got
your weird perfume on me!

381
00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:26,798
[groans]
I got to go swab this off.

382
00:10:26,832 --> 00:10:28,524
Tina, make sure we
stay on schedule.

383
00:10:28,557 --> 00:10:29,663
Okay.It's not weird.

384
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:30,698
You like it, right?

385
00:10:30,732 --> 00:10:31,700
Um, yeah, I like it.

386
00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,046
I wear it. It's bisexual.

387
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,115
Do you mean unisex?

388
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:35,048
It's the same thing.

389
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:36,566
It is not the same thing.

390
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,224
My swim-aerobics instructor
is bisexual.

391
00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,225
Thank you, Frida.

392
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:42,711
[humming]

393
00:10:42,745 --> 00:10:44,573
What? This shouldn't be open!

394
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:46,956
Looks like you got
a runny nose, Tammy.

395
00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:48,025
[Tammy gasps]

396
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:49,682
What are you doing in my head?

397
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:50,856
[gasps] Whoops.

398
00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:52,686
Hey, Tammy!
Good to see you there.

399
00:10:52,721 --> 00:10:54,792
I thought the tortilla chips
were in here.

400
00:10:54,826 --> 00:10:57,034
Which is like, so creative.

401
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,380
But I guess not.

402
00:10:58,415 --> 00:11:00,072
[gasps] You were going
to pour guacamole

403
00:11:00,106 --> 00:11:02,419
out of my nose like
boogers, weren't you?!

404
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:03,870
[laughing]:
Oh, my God, Tammy,

405
00:11:03,903 --> 00:11:05,077
that's hilarious.

406
00:11:05,111 --> 00:11:06,355
Let's do it!

407
00:11:06,389 --> 00:11:08,046
Stop it!

408
00:11:08,081 --> 00:11:09,599
What's
going on?

409
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:10,876
I think we're going up!

410
00:11:11,878 --> 00:11:13,051
God, it won't open!

411
00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,534
No!
Hello!

412
00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:16,053
[screaming]I'm in here!

413
00:11:16,088 --> 00:11:17,677
Help us!
I'm in here!

414
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,230
It's Tammy
the Bat Mitzvah girl!

415
00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:22,025
No one can hear us
over the terrible band!

416
00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:23,993
The Klezbians are
not a terrible band!

417
00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:25,546
Yes, they are!
How dare you!

418
00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:26,893
Oh, help![Tammy screams]

419
00:11:30,136 --> 00:11:31,691
TAMMY:
Hello!
LOUISE:
No!

420
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,278
I'm in here!
[yells]

421
00:11:33,312 --> 00:11:35,729
♪

422
00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:38,351
Oops!
Gene, easy.

423
00:11:38,386 --> 00:11:40,077
That's the fifth burger
you've dropped on the floor.

424
00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:41,873
That you know of...
TINA:
Have you guys seen Tammy?

425
00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:43,254
Oh, good.
You're back.

426
00:11:43,288 --> 00:11:44,945
No, I'm not back,
I'm the new Janet.

427
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:46,601
I'm really busy.
Tammy's supposed to lead off

428
00:11:46,635 --> 00:11:48,604
the limbo soon and
I can't find her anywhere.

429
00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:50,605
I haven't seen her in a
while, and I have to say,

430
00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:52,780
I have enjoyed every
minute of our time apart.

431
00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:54,126
Have you seen your
mother or Louise?

432
00:11:54,161 --> 00:11:55,230
We don't need them!

433
00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:56,784
Oops!
[sighs]

434
00:11:56,818 --> 00:11:58,648
Mom's over by
the Italian food station.

435
00:11:58,682 --> 00:11:59,753
Hi!

436
00:11:59,788 --> 00:12:01,650
Mm.You gotta try this!

437
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:02,894
I-I mean, I'll be right back!

438
00:12:02,928 --> 00:12:04,758
Mm.I gotta find Tammy.

439
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:06,759
We gotta stay on schedule
no matter what.

440
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,417
Ugh. We're out
of napkins.
I'll go.

441
00:12:08,451 --> 00:12:09,763
I don't know
what they're for,

442
00:12:09,798 --> 00:12:11,039
but I'll get 'em.
No. No.

443
00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:13,042
Gene, you stay here.
I'll go.

444
00:12:13,076 --> 00:12:14,871
TAMMY:
Help!

445
00:12:14,905 --> 00:12:16,908
The headset's clogged.

446
00:12:16,942 --> 00:12:19,116
Um, who cares about
that right now?

447
00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,394
You should, Tammy,

448
00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:21,809
because the headset
was our only way

449
00:12:21,844 --> 00:12:23,052
of communicating
with the outside world.

450
00:12:23,086 --> 00:12:24,673
Now I'm gonna die in here

451
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:26,572
and they're gonna find
my bones in your head.

452
00:12:26,606 --> 00:12:29,057
This wasn't the head I wanted
them to find my bones in!

453
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,163
Hello!

454
00:12:31,197 --> 00:12:33,649
It's me, Tammy!

455
00:12:33,682 --> 00:12:35,615
The star of the Bat Mitzvah!

456
00:12:35,650 --> 00:12:37,169
[sighs loudly]
Okay.

457
00:12:37,203 --> 00:12:38,758
Let's do what I
came here to do.

458
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,346
You are not pouring
guacamole out of my nose.

459
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:43,763
If I pour the guacamole,
it might fall on someone

460
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,350
and they'll look
up and see us.

461
00:12:45,384 --> 00:12:47,179
Ugh. Fine.

462
00:12:47,213 --> 00:12:48,629
[grunts]

463
00:12:49,491 --> 00:12:51,460
LOUISE:
No... no, no!

464
00:12:51,494 --> 00:12:52,841
TAMMY:
Why isn't it falling?

465
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,290
Because of your
big mouth, Tammy!

466
00:12:55,326 --> 00:12:57,293
Someone's gotta
notice I'm missing.

467
00:12:57,327 --> 00:12:58,536
This is my party.

468
00:12:58,570 --> 00:12:59,847
The theme is me.

469
00:12:59,881 --> 00:13:01,193
What are you
planning to do

470
00:13:01,227 --> 00:13:02,298
with this stupid head
after today anyway?

471
00:13:02,332 --> 00:13:03,678
Um, hello?

472
00:13:03,712 --> 00:13:05,163
I'm gonna donate
it to charity.

473
00:13:05,197 --> 00:13:06,336
I do think about
other people.

474
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,028
Gnocchi.
Looks good.

475
00:13:09,063 --> 00:13:10,789
Maybe I'll just try one.

476
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,171
Mmm.
That's really good.

477
00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:15,139
Okeydokey, gnocchi.

478
00:13:15,173 --> 00:13:17,037
I'm sorry I just said that.

479
00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:18,211
Out loud.

480
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:19,729
To myself.

481
00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:22,145
Uh... my dad said
he'd be right back.

482
00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:24,320
He's getting napkins,
whatever that is!

483
00:13:24,355 --> 00:13:25,666
In the meantime,

484
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,875
is anyone here for
just a plain bun?

485
00:13:27,909 --> 00:13:29,669
Mr. and Mrs. Larson,
I can't find Tammy

486
00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:31,326
and we're supposed to do
the limbo in two minutes.

487
00:13:31,361 --> 00:13:32,466
Hi, Other Janet.

488
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,019
Sometimes when
Tammy gets like this

489
00:13:34,053 --> 00:13:36,229
we just let her take
some time by herself.

490
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:37,746
We call it Tammy time.

491
00:13:37,782 --> 00:13:39,128
But Tammy time isn't
on the schedule.

492
00:13:39,163 --> 00:13:40,820
Other Janet's
moving her mouth

493
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,960
but all I hear is,
"We-wah we-wah."

494
00:13:42,994 --> 00:13:44,408
[laughing]

495
00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:45,721
Ow.

496
00:13:45,754 --> 00:13:46,998
[sighs]
What?

497
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:48,413
Be a man.
You be a man.

498
00:13:48,447 --> 00:13:51,001
It's time for the limbo!

499
00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:52,417
[sighs]

500
00:13:52,451 --> 00:13:54,384
Somebody's gotta
kick this thing off.

501
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:55,835
I guess it's gotta be me.

502
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,422
How low can you go?

503
00:13:57,456 --> 00:13:58,837
Not that low.

504
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,183
Still too low.

505
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:02,081
Yeah, a little higher.
Mm, one more inch?

506
00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:04,049
Well, you'll walk
right under it now!

507
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:05,982
Yeah, but just in case,
a little higher.

508
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:07,916
Okay, everybody, let's limbo!

509
00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:10,158
What the hell is
your sister doing?

510
00:14:10,193 --> 00:14:11,366
Looks like
the limbo.

511
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,714
Or some awkward
version of it.

512
00:14:13,749 --> 00:14:15,784
I was supposed to
lead off the limbo.

513
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:18,408
I was the one who went
to limbo boot camp!

514
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,893
Limbo, check.

515
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:21,791
Next on the schedule
is the conga line.

516
00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:23,379
Gotta stay on schedule
no matter what.

517
00:14:24,828 --> 00:14:26,451
Whoops.
Bob!

518
00:14:26,485 --> 00:14:27,866
What are you
doing here?
What are you
doing here?

519
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,177
I'm eating
this dumpling.

520
00:14:29,212 --> 00:14:31,249
Yeah, the food here
is really good.

521
00:14:31,283 --> 00:14:32,941
They hired great caterers
for this, right?

522
00:14:32,975 --> 00:14:35,046
Yeah, except for us...
sneaking off like

523
00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,909
a couple of Shirky Shirleys.
[laughs]

524
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,118
No, no, no,
it's okay.

525
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:39,394
Uh, Gene is
running the ship

526
00:14:39,429 --> 00:14:40,740
over there,
so we're fine.

527
00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,225
Over where?
Where-where is he?

528
00:14:42,259 --> 00:14:43,778
Over, uh,
there, see?

529
00:14:43,812 --> 00:14:45,470
Behind the... uh, you
can't see from here.

530
00:14:45,504 --> 00:14:47,126
Where are we?
Yeah.

531
00:14:47,162 --> 00:14:50,027
We are not in the same hall
as we were a minute ago.

532
00:14:50,061 --> 00:14:52,097
It's like the end of
The Shiningin here.

533
00:14:52,131 --> 00:14:53,408
We could get lost.
Where did
everybody go?

534
00:14:53,443 --> 00:14:55,548
Wait a minute,
this is a wedding!

535
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:57,274
Hey, boys.

536
00:14:57,309 --> 00:14:58,552
It's time for
the conga line.

537
00:14:58,586 --> 00:14:59,899
Grab on and let's go.

538
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,072
Oh, hey, okay.

539
00:15:01,106 --> 00:15:02,245
I could get used
to being Tammy.

540
00:15:02,279 --> 00:15:03,316
Look out for
that wall!

541
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,249
I got it![Tammy gasps]

542
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,250
TAMMY:
Tina hijacked my conga line!

543
00:15:07,284 --> 00:15:08,908
I want my conga!

544
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,943
Looks like they're
doing fine without you.

545
00:15:10,979 --> 00:15:12,118
Are you kidding?

546
00:15:12,152 --> 00:15:13,326
She's all over the road!

547
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,913
It's da-da-da-da da-da.

548
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,500
It's not supposed to be like

549
00:15:16,536 --> 00:15:18,331
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
[makes farting noise]

550
00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:19,849
[headset beeps]Guess what?

551
00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:21,505
No, you guess what.

552
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:23,783
When we get out of here,
Tina is so fired.

553
00:15:23,818 --> 00:15:25,337
I'll have my
Bat Mitzvah back

554
00:15:25,371 --> 00:15:27,270
and your lame sister can
conga her butt outta here.

555
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:31,171
[whispering]:
You owe me one, Tina.

556
00:15:31,206 --> 00:15:33,346
You know what,
I can't fix this thing.

557
00:15:33,379 --> 00:15:35,969
Looks like you won't be getting
your party back for a while.

558
00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:37,971
[beeps]It's just you
and me, Tam-tam.

559
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,283
We're going to take
a quick break.

560
00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:40,974
We'll be right back.

561
00:15:41,009 --> 00:15:43,182
Excuse me, but there's
no break on the schedule.

562
00:15:43,217 --> 00:15:44,840
Uh, I gotta call my dog sitter.

563
00:15:44,874 --> 00:15:46,461
But it's time for me
to lead the Macarena.

564
00:15:46,496 --> 00:15:49,224
So, hey, Macarena
or hey, you're fired.

565
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:52,710
♪

566
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,057
♪

567
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:09,208
♪ Hamotzi lechem
min ha'aretz.♪

568
00:16:09,244 --> 00:16:10,899
Tammy's taking Tammy time.

569
00:16:10,934 --> 00:16:12,557
I'm filling in.
Take it.

570
00:16:12,591 --> 00:16:15,111
♪ Amen.

571
00:16:15,145 --> 00:16:16,389
♪

572
00:16:16,423 --> 00:16:19,219
[guests cheering]

573
00:16:19,254 --> 00:16:21,325
It's been almost
two hours.

574
00:16:21,359 --> 00:16:23,153
No one even notices
that I'm not there.

575
00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:24,638
Wow.

576
00:16:24,673 --> 00:16:26,467
This is like a reverse
It's a Wonderful Life.

577
00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,125
You get to see
how much better off

578
00:16:28,158 --> 00:16:30,023
everyone is without
you shrieking at them.

579
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,644
Yeah.

580
00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:33,854
[sobbing]

581
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,514
Okay, okay,
easy there, ugh.

582
00:16:38,548 --> 00:16:42,000
Everyone is having a
good time without me.

583
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,312
It's true.

584
00:16:43,346 --> 00:16:45,142
I was being...

585
00:16:45,176 --> 00:16:46,659
A horrible
Bat Zilla?

586
00:16:46,695 --> 00:16:48,040
Yeah.

587
00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:50,147
Like, the worst
person alive?

588
00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:51,355
[sobbing]

589
00:16:51,389 --> 00:16:54,081
Just like,
a crazy monster?

590
00:16:54,115 --> 00:16:55,323
Yeah!

591
00:16:55,359 --> 00:16:57,429
All right, there you go.
Coming around.

592
00:16:57,463 --> 00:16:58,706
[snapping fingers]Hey. Hey. Hey.

593
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,019
Look at this!

594
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:01,192
Tammy!
What?

595
00:17:01,226 --> 00:17:02,951
I fixed
the headset.What?

596
00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:04,194
I fixed the headset.

597
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:06,058
Oh. Oh!

598
00:17:06,094 --> 00:17:07,923
You're a genius!I know.

599
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:09,751
Well, what are
you waiting for?
Get us out of here!

600
00:17:09,787 --> 00:17:12,375
Oh, it's broken!
No!
[sobbing]

601
00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:14,377
Okay, I fixed it,
I fixed it.

602
00:17:14,412 --> 00:17:15,895
But you watch
your tone.

603
00:17:15,931 --> 00:17:17,208
I'm sorry.

604
00:17:17,242 --> 00:17:19,106
And you better start
inviting my sister

605
00:17:19,141 --> 00:17:20,556
to all your
dumb parties.

606
00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:22,212
I can't give you
a guarantee.

607
00:17:22,248 --> 00:17:23,972
All right,
then it's broken.

608
00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:26,286
No!
[sobbing]

609
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:27,632
[playing "The Chicken Dance"]

610
00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:29,599
♪

611
00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:31,359
Come on!
Keep up!

612
00:17:31,394 --> 00:17:32,948
What part of the
chicken dance don't
you understand?

613
00:17:32,981 --> 00:17:34,983
Tina, you're kind of
getting an attitude.

614
00:17:35,019 --> 00:17:36,883
Hmm. Let me
check the schedule

615
00:17:36,916 --> 00:17:38,471
for mouthing off
to the party planner.

616
00:17:38,505 --> 00:17:39,885
No. Not on here.

617
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,542
So zip your lips
and shake your hips.

618
00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:43,233
LOUISE [in headset]:
Tina! Tina, can you hear me?

619
00:17:43,269 --> 00:17:44,304
Louise?

620
00:17:44,338 --> 00:17:46,065
Oh, Tina!
Hey, hey!

621
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,272
TINA:
Where are you?

622
00:17:47,307 --> 00:17:49,205
I'm stuck inside
Tammy's head!

623
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,310
Yeah. This whole thing
is just too much Tammy.

624
00:17:51,346 --> 00:17:55,074
LOUISE:
No! I'm literally stuck
inside Tammy's giant head.

625
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,247
With Tammy!

626
00:17:56,281 --> 00:17:57,558
Get us out of here!

627
00:17:57,593 --> 00:17:59,112
Huh? How did you guys
get up there?

628
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,492
Are those boogers?
That's funny.

629
00:18:00,527 --> 00:18:02,597
Thank you.
Can you just get us down?

630
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,807
Okay, I'll get the
maintenance guy to...

631
00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:06,946
"Ladies choice dance
with Justin."
What?

632
00:18:06,981 --> 00:18:08,846
Oh, I mean, it's just that next
on the schedule is ladies choice

633
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,502
dancing
with Justin.So?

634
00:18:10,537 --> 00:18:11,606
And if we want
to stay on schedule...

635
00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:13,263
No, no, no, no.

636
00:18:13,298 --> 00:18:15,231
...I probably should keep
filling in for Tammy.

637
00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:16,440
It's what she would've wanted.

638
00:18:16,473 --> 00:18:17,750
No!

639
00:18:17,786 --> 00:18:19,650
Tina!
Get us out of here right now!

640
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,099
I want my Bat Mitzvah back!

641
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,617
Um...
[imitates static]

642
00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:23,757
Uh-oh, you guys are
starting to break up.

643
00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:25,518
[static]
I can't hear you.

644
00:18:25,551 --> 00:18:27,519
LOUISE:
You're terrible at making
static sounds, Tina.

645
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:29,246
Get us down!

646
00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:31,109
TAMMY:
Give me back my party,
you psycho!

647
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:33,318
[imitating static]
I'm losing you guys.

648
00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:34,664
[static]
I'm not a psycho.

649
00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:36,115
LOUISE:
Tina, don't do th... [gasps]

650
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,978
Hi, Aunt Frida.

651
00:18:38,012 --> 00:18:39,634
FRIDA:
Hi, Other Tammy.

652
00:18:43,086 --> 00:18:45,710
TAMMY:
Your single white female sister
is out of control!

653
00:18:45,744 --> 00:18:47,194
What do we do?

654
00:18:47,229 --> 00:18:48,712
I don't know, Tammy,
I hate her, too!

655
00:18:48,748 --> 00:18:50,163
[growls]

656
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:51,509
Plan B, plan B.

657
00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:52,545
And what is that?

658
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:54,374
Going back
to your plan A.

659
00:18:54,409 --> 00:18:56,030
Jump till this
thing breaks open!

660
00:18:56,065 --> 00:18:57,549
Go!
You got it!

661
00:18:57,584 --> 00:18:59,759
[grunting, yelling]

662
00:19:01,069 --> 00:19:02,347
LOUISE:
Oh, my little legs!

663
00:19:02,382 --> 00:19:03,865
Justin,
it's time for

664
00:19:03,901 --> 00:19:05,453
your ladies choice
dance with Tammy.

665
00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:07,076
But since she's still
taking Tammy time,

666
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:08,630
we found you
another partner

667
00:19:08,663 --> 00:19:10,528
and it is me.
Um, but...

668
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,220
Can't talk...
there's a schedule.

669
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:14,807
Hey!
This burger isn't cooked!

670
00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:16,395
You want this food cooked,

671
00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:18,053
you go put it in a sink
and run it under hot water.

672
00:19:18,086 --> 00:19:19,087
All right.

673
00:19:19,123 --> 00:19:20,330
Good! I don't have time

674
00:19:20,365 --> 00:19:21,574
to run all this food
under hot water.

675
00:19:21,607 --> 00:19:22,851
Who's next?

676
00:19:22,884 --> 00:19:25,163
It's time for
the Bat Mitzvah lady

677
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,405
and the gentleman of her choice

678
00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:28,063
to take the
dance floor.

679
00:19:28,096 --> 00:19:29,409
That's us.

680
00:19:29,443 --> 00:19:31,411
♪

681
00:19:31,445 --> 00:19:33,550
What's Tina doing out there?

682
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:35,656
Becoming a woman.
Oh.

683
00:19:35,691 --> 00:19:37,486
The hand wants
what the hand wants.

684
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,211
I can't tell
where your back ends

685
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:40,523
and your butt begins.

686
00:19:40,557 --> 00:19:42,559
Oh, there it is.
I was just too high.

687
00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:44,217
[grunting]
That's my song!

688
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,219
She's doing my dance!

689
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,221
[growls]

690
00:19:48,256 --> 00:19:49,877
[Tammy screams, guests gasp]

691
00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,707
Oh, my God!

692
00:19:51,741 --> 00:19:52,846
Lower the Tammy head!

693
00:19:52,881 --> 00:19:55,676
[whirring]

694
00:19:55,711 --> 00:19:56,677
Uh-oh.

695
00:19:56,711 --> 00:19:57,781
We've been
looking for you!

696
00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,612
Honey,
are you okay?

697
00:19:59,645 --> 00:20:01,233
Hold on. Hold on,
let me put down my drink.

698
00:20:01,269 --> 00:20:03,684
You!Justin, what
are you doing?

699
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:05,134
I'm not Tammy!

700
00:20:05,169 --> 00:20:06,757
Get my hands off
your upper butt.

701
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,137
The ball is over,
Fake-erella.

702
00:20:09,173 --> 00:20:10,450
Tina, what the hell?

703
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:13,246
[growling]I was stuck in there with that

704
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,281
and you did nothing!

705
00:20:14,316 --> 00:20:16,214
Why didn't you
rescue us?

706
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,561
Um, I guess I got
a little swept up
in my role.

707
00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:20,079
Yeah, you think?!

708
00:20:20,115 --> 00:20:22,221
The power of the Bat Mitzvah
is intoxicating.

709
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,153
It's like a religious
experience.

710
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:25,603
Tammy, they don't get it.

711
00:20:25,637 --> 00:20:27,778
But I do.
We do.

712
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,088
I guess we do.

713
00:20:29,124 --> 00:20:30,298
Thanks for coming
to my Bat Mitzvah.

714
00:20:30,332 --> 00:20:32,921
[snarling]
Um...

715
00:20:32,954 --> 00:20:34,542
Time for the hora,
everyone! The hora!

716
00:20:34,577 --> 00:20:36,718
[band playing "Hava Nagila"]The hora!

717
00:20:36,751 --> 00:20:39,238
This isn't over, Tina!

718
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:40,584
Oh, my God.

719
00:20:40,617 --> 00:20:42,275
See, this is what
happens when we cater.

720
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,242
We better get out of here
before we get chased out.

721
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,451
Let's go back
to the wedding.

722
00:20:45,484 --> 00:20:46,555
Ooh, I want to sign
the guest book.

723
00:20:46,589 --> 00:20:47,901
Sorry we left you,
Gene.

724
00:20:47,935 --> 00:20:49,281
I'm not!
It was easy.

725
00:20:49,317 --> 00:20:50,800
You make it seem
so difficult.

726
00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:52,836
Once you stop using
the grill, it's fast.

727
00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:54,666
For my Bat Mitzvah, I just
want a gift certificate.

728
00:20:54,701 --> 00:20:57,427
Louise, you're not
getting a Bat Mitzvah.I know.

729
00:20:57,462 --> 00:20:58,773
Because I'm getting
a gift certificate.

730
00:20:58,808 --> 00:21:00,604
Mazel tov, Tammy!

731
00:21:00,637 --> 00:21:01,950
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

732
00:21:01,983 --> 00:21:03,744
TINA:
♪ Uru, uru akhim♪

733
00:21:03,778 --> 00:21:05,471
♪ Uru akhim be-lev sameakh♪

734
00:21:05,505 --> 00:21:07,195
♪ Uru akhim
be-lev sameakh♪

735
00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:08,612
♪ Uru akhim be-lev sameakh♪

736
00:21:08,645 --> 00:21:10,578
♪ Uru akhim
be-lev sameakh♪

737
00:21:10,614 --> 00:21:11,787
♪ Uru akhim♪

738
00:21:11,821 --> 00:21:13,582
♪ Be-lev sameakh♪

739
00:21:13,616 --> 00:21:16,758
♪ Hava nagila, hava nagila♪

740
00:21:16,791 --> 00:21:19,864
♪ Hava nagila
ve-nismekha♪

741
00:21:19,898 --> 00:21:23,351
♪ Hava nagila, hava nagila♪

742
00:21:23,384 --> 00:21:26,423
♪ Hava nagila
ve-nismekha♪

743
00:21:26,457 --> 00:21:29,701
♪ Hava neranenah,
hava neranenah♪

744
00:21:29,736 --> 00:21:32,567
♪ Hava neranenah
ve-nismekha...♪