1 00:00:23,195 --> 00:00:25,714 "Why I Love Wagstaff." That's the theme? 2 00:00:25,748 --> 00:00:28,510 Wasn't it "I Love Wagstaff, Here's Why" last year? 3 00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:30,030 Come on, it's cute. 4 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,066 "Because Andy goes here." 5 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,171 "Because Ollie goes here." 6 00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:36,036 Where are our kids' projects? We've been around 7 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,588 the whole cafeteria.There's Mr. Frond. 8 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,348 Let's ask him where the kids' stuff is. 9 00:00:39,384 --> 00:00:41,247 LINDA: Mr. Frond![gasps] 10 00:00:41,281 --> 00:00:42,351 Is he trying to hide? 11 00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:43,767 Hi, Miss La Bonz. Sorry, 12 00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:46,045 uh, Mr. Frond is right behind you hiding. 13 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:47,771 [groans]: Oh, happens every day. 14 00:00:47,805 --> 00:00:49,256 Frond, are you avoiding us? 15 00:00:49,289 --> 00:00:50,359 No! 16 00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:51,567 [chuckles]: What? No. 17 00:00:51,603 --> 00:00:53,225 I'm in-voidingyou. 18 00:00:53,259 --> 00:00:54,743 Why is your lip all sweaty? 19 00:00:54,777 --> 00:00:56,917 [nervous laughing]: Uh, uh, what? No, just... 20 00:00:56,953 --> 00:00:59,093 Okay, stop it. Where are our kids' projects? 21 00:00:59,128 --> 00:01:01,543 We can't find them.Uh, they are, um... 22 00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:04,960 they're right there.You didn't point at anything. When you say "right there," 23 00:01:04,995 --> 00:01:06,962 you kind of have to point at something. 24 00:01:06,996 --> 00:01:09,102 [mumbling]: Oh, I-I meant... they're right there-there. 25 00:01:09,138 --> 00:01:11,209 Frond, stop. Just tell us where they are. 26 00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:12,727 [sighs]: Fine. 27 00:01:12,762 --> 00:01:14,108 Your children's essays 28 00:01:14,143 --> 00:01:15,936 were a little... creative. 29 00:01:15,971 --> 00:01:17,560 But I thought they were supposed to be creative. 30 00:01:17,593 --> 00:01:19,216 Too creative. 31 00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:20,287 Too creative! 32 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,081 I like the sound of that, huh? 33 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,737 Offensive. They were offensive. 34 00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:25,118 The school superintendent is here, 35 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,224 and I'm already on thin ice with her 36 00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,986 because my "credentials" aren't "valid" 37 00:01:30,019 --> 00:01:31,263 in this "state." 38 00:01:31,298 --> 00:01:33,265 Come on, Mr. Frond, how bad can they be? 39 00:01:33,299 --> 00:01:35,266 [chuckling]: They're kids' stories. I mean, come on. 40 00:01:35,301 --> 00:01:36,647 This bad. 41 00:01:36,682 --> 00:01:38,408 Ooh! Let me see that. 42 00:01:38,442 --> 00:01:40,754 "The following story is top secret." 43 00:01:40,789 --> 00:01:42,653 LOUISE: If you love Wagstaff like I do, 44 00:01:42,688 --> 00:01:44,414 then you need to know the truth. 45 00:01:44,448 --> 00:01:48,141 But be warned: once you know, you can never un-know. 46 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,765 It all started last week while I was sitting in class. 47 00:01:50,799 --> 00:01:53,251 Not two miles away, the worst evil 48 00:01:53,284 --> 00:01:56,012 this world has ever seen had just traveled here. 49 00:01:56,045 --> 00:01:57,807 [whooshing] 50 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,638 Nude! 51 00:02:02,674 --> 00:02:04,778 [mechanical whirring] 52 00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:06,953 [beeping] 53 00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:08,335 [robotically]: Clothing match-- negative. 54 00:02:08,368 --> 00:02:10,509 Whoa, cool yarn! 55 00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:12,993 Clothing match-- good enough. 56 00:02:19,379 --> 00:02:20,829 [rapid beeping] 57 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:25,558 ♪ 58 00:02:28,078 --> 00:02:29,700 [crunching] 59 00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:32,151 [screams] 60 00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:34,670 Remain calm. 61 00:02:34,706 --> 00:02:36,811 Remain calm.No! No! 62 00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:39,192 Remain calm. Remain calm. 63 00:02:39,228 --> 00:02:42,990 You sent me from the future to help you in this time, 64 00:02:43,024 --> 00:02:46,304 to deactivate the student known as Louise Belcher. 65 00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:47,305 What?! 66 00:02:47,338 --> 00:02:49,307 Ow! Bad hug, bad hug! 67 00:02:49,341 --> 00:02:50,860 ♪ 68 00:02:50,894 --> 00:02:52,310 [brief beeping] 69 00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:53,518 [mechanical whirring] 70 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,074 [beeping] 71 00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:00,731 [brief beeping] 72 00:03:00,765 --> 00:03:02,664 Child called Louise Belcher... 73 00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:05,185 I'm on my break. 74 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,877 Whoa. Are you a super strong robot from the future? 75 00:03:07,911 --> 00:03:10,534 Wait, don't answer that. That's rhetorical. 76 00:03:10,568 --> 00:03:12,847 I got to split. [panting] 77 00:03:12,882 --> 00:03:14,538 [panting] 78 00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:17,230 [alarm ringing] 79 00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:20,924 [kids groaning] 80 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,549 [brief beeping] 81 00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:32,521 [screams]Louise! 82 00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:33,937 Calm down. It's me, Darryl. 83 00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:36,526 Come with me if you want to continue to be alive. 84 00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:38,079 Wait. Why do you look like that? 85 00:03:38,114 --> 00:03:40,391 Because... I'm from the future. 86 00:03:40,426 --> 00:03:41,599 ♪ 87 00:03:41,634 --> 00:03:43,877 Do they not have razors in the future? 88 00:03:43,913 --> 00:03:45,776 Because that mustache is not okay. 89 00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:47,227 Really? You don't think it looks cool? 90 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,573 Uh, nope. 91 00:03:48,606 --> 00:03:49,953 [Louise and Darryl scream] 92 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:54,957 [both scream] 93 00:03:54,992 --> 00:03:57,063 [panting, gasping] 94 00:03:57,098 --> 00:03:59,066 Louise, listen, the Frond that's chasing us 95 00:03:59,099 --> 00:04:01,655 is a robot from the future built by the real Frond 96 00:04:01,688 --> 00:04:03,381 and sent back to destroy you. 97 00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:05,245 No doy. I got that already. 98 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,901 I sort of figured this would happen at some point in my life. 99 00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:08,937 Quick! In here! 100 00:04:11,802 --> 00:04:14,115 I'm dodging for two. Hey, Louise! 101 00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:16,255 Hey, weird future Darryl! 102 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:17,911 [loud panting] 103 00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:20,156 So, what did I do to him in the future, anyway? 104 00:04:20,189 --> 00:04:22,572 It all happened on the day of your eighth grade graduation. 105 00:04:22,606 --> 00:04:25,264 ANDY and OLLIE: ♪ The bombs bursting in air... 106 00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,507 [derisive laughter]Hmm? 107 00:04:28,509 --> 00:04:30,303 Aah! Hmm? 108 00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:31,925 [derisive laughter continues] 109 00:04:31,961 --> 00:04:33,444 [screams] 110 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,757 [gasps] The brownie chair surprise! 111 00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,449 I actually did it! 112 00:04:37,483 --> 00:04:40,106 Yes. And from that day forward, Frond was never the same. 113 00:04:40,141 --> 00:04:42,281 He quit his counseling job and boarded himself up 114 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,973 in his basement, working day and night on both a time machine 115 00:04:45,007 --> 00:04:47,182 and a robot that he could send back in time. 116 00:04:47,216 --> 00:04:49,149 Last week, he succeeded.How did you find out? 117 00:04:49,185 --> 00:04:50,944 Because I'm also working on a time machine, 118 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:53,326 and we go on a lot of the same message boards. 119 00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:56,641 So you used your time machine to get here?No. I had to use his. 120 00:04:56,675 --> 00:04:58,470 Mine doesn't work and it starts fires. 121 00:04:58,504 --> 00:05:01,334 So you came back through time just to tell me this? 122 00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:05,132 Just to be a narrator? And you didn't bring any special weapons or anything? 123 00:05:05,165 --> 00:05:07,997 Just a bucket load of exposition and a stupid mustache?! 124 00:05:08,031 --> 00:05:09,791 Do you know what, Louise? At this point, 125 00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:12,173 if I had any special weapons, I'd use them on you! 126 00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,451 But you don't, right? I mean, just to clarify, Darryl. 127 00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:16,832 Just to check that box.There he is! 128 00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:23,012 Here comes the sweaty- Belcher-belly special! 129 00:05:23,045 --> 00:05:25,151 LOUISE: Ha![beeping] 130 00:05:25,185 --> 00:05:26,463 Louise!What? It was funny. 131 00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:27,533 We got to run! 132 00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:29,536 [both panting] 133 00:05:31,088 --> 00:05:32,228 [both yell] 134 00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:34,194 Grab the rope! 135 00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:35,369 Ah... 136 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,370 [grunts] Run, Gene! 137 00:05:37,406 --> 00:05:38,372 [yelling] 138 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,028 [Louise panting] 139 00:05:40,062 --> 00:05:41,478 Hey, guys, I know we're running 140 00:05:41,512 --> 00:05:43,066 from Mr. Frond for some reason, 141 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,483 and though I'm totally willing to go along with it, 142 00:05:45,516 --> 00:05:47,346 a little lunch would really hit the spot. 143 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,694 Small bits of pork throughout the day is what they say. 144 00:05:49,728 --> 00:05:51,004 Actually... 145 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,903 Maybe someone will drop some food. 146 00:05:52,937 --> 00:05:55,043 Come on, creamed corn! 147 00:05:55,077 --> 00:05:56,528 [all yell]Hey, guys, 148 00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:58,391 can I sit with you?[groans]: Oh, fine. 149 00:05:58,427 --> 00:06:00,394 So, how's your day?Not great. 150 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,670 Yeah, me, too. 151 00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:03,569 [sighs]Why? Wh-What's happening? 152 00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:05,019 Yeah, no, I'll be fine. 153 00:06:05,053 --> 00:06:07,538 I-I, like... brought the wrong book to school. 154 00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:08,747 [all yell] 155 00:06:08,781 --> 00:06:10,370 Whoa! Mr. Frond! 156 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,095 You've been working on your fitness, girl! 157 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:16,858 [sizzling] 158 00:06:16,893 --> 00:06:18,031 [Louise gasps] 159 00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:19,586 We need more creamed corn! 160 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,690 I know! That's what I've been saying! 161 00:06:21,725 --> 00:06:23,865 Run to the kitchen! 162 00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:26,696 I'll deactivate all of you. 163 00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:28,697 Mr. Frond, your skin burned off. 164 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:31,391 We made you a get-well card.It's a banana peel. 165 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,601 [beeping] 166 00:06:37,569 --> 00:06:38,949 [beeping] 167 00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:41,124 [strained grunting] 168 00:06:41,987 --> 00:06:43,264 [screaming] 169 00:06:44,644 --> 00:06:46,129 [screams] 170 00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:49,581 This kitchen is so shiny!DARRYL: Gene! Over here! 171 00:06:49,615 --> 00:06:50,305 [yelling] 172 00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:52,928 [gasps] 173 00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:54,930 [yells] 174 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,726 [screaming] 175 00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:59,728 [clanging]Hey, Frond! 176 00:06:59,764 --> 00:07:01,110 Let's do lunch. 177 00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:04,596 ♪ 178 00:07:07,357 --> 00:07:09,463 [screaming, beeping] 179 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,437 [relieved exhale] 180 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,783 Ah, finally, something fun happened at school. 181 00:07:19,817 --> 00:07:22,442 Kids, one; Future Frond, zero. 182 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,028 Hmm? 183 00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,273 [mechanical whirring] 184 00:07:26,307 --> 00:07:27,136 [all gasp] 185 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,278 Uh... aw, crap. 186 00:07:31,312 --> 00:07:34,454 So, now we're here, living off the grid in Mexico, 187 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:36,834 or... someplace, planning, waiting for when they find us. 188 00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:39,112 I'm gonna take a nap under a warm tortilla 189 00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:41,632 and then eat my way out when I wake up. 190 00:07:41,668 --> 00:07:44,187 I've heard of a power nap, but a flournap? 191 00:07:44,221 --> 00:07:45,981 'Cause tortillas are made of flour. 192 00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:47,327 He's under a tortilla. 193 00:07:47,362 --> 00:07:49,158 If you're reading this...What? 194 00:07:49,192 --> 00:07:51,677 Oh, no, I'm not talking to you. I-I'm writing in my journal. 195 00:07:51,711 --> 00:07:53,161 Oh. 'Cause I... I can hear you. 196 00:07:53,196 --> 00:07:54,612 Yeah, I say it out loud, 197 00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:56,648 and then if it sounds good, I write it down. 198 00:07:56,682 --> 00:07:59,788 Well, I'm kind of trying to sleep under a tortilla, so... 199 00:07:59,824 --> 00:08:02,999 You know what? I am sick of being on this beach with you! 200 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:05,485 Okay, then go a little bit down the beach! 201 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,625 And by the way, we're in Belize. 202 00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:09,661 It says it right on my hat! 203 00:08:09,696 --> 00:08:11,490 "Un-Belize-able"! 204 00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,630 We got them at a garage sale! 205 00:08:13,665 --> 00:08:16,218 Yes! But it was just a mile away! 206 00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:19,533 "If you're reading this, then there is still a chance 207 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,396 "for mankind, and more importantly a chance 208 00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:23,882 "for a really great moment when everyone will think 209 00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:27,403 Mr. Frond pooped his pants." 210 00:08:27,437 --> 00:08:30,199 Well, I loved it.Yeah, it was good. I mean, it was a little... 211 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:32,683 some of the references I felt were a little... But whatever. 212 00:08:32,719 --> 00:08:35,721 Okay, okay, I can see that I'm not getting through to you two. 213 00:08:35,755 --> 00:08:38,240 But take a look at this. 214 00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,519 Okay, Bobby, you read this one. This time, I just want 215 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,349 to listen and get carried away with the story. 216 00:08:42,383 --> 00:08:44,662 Just want to close my eyes and listen to the story. 217 00:08:44,696 --> 00:08:47,009 [sighs] Okay, fine.Okay. Read it out loud. 218 00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:48,837 "Fart School for the Gifted." 219 00:08:48,873 --> 00:08:51,184 "It was lunchtime at Fart School for the Gifted..." 220 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:53,187 LINDA: I love it already! 221 00:08:53,221 --> 00:08:54,844 BOB and GENE: ...the coolest school in the world, 222 00:08:54,879 --> 00:08:56,536 GENE: and we were all jamming 223 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,538 to my new song, "Gas Class." 224 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,850 [rhythmic grunting]GENE: ♪ Gas class! 225 00:09:00,884 --> 00:09:02,851 ♪ You wanna pass gas class? 226 00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:04,854 ♪ You gotta pass gas... 227 00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:06,546 [rhythmic grunting] 228 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,686 But then uncool counselor Mr. Frond 229 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,860 decided to be a total ding-dong. 230 00:09:10,894 --> 00:09:12,447 All right, that's it. 231 00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:15,381 I know this is Fart School for the Gifted, 232 00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:19,075 but this is not a place for dancing or singing! 233 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:20,042 [plays fart sound] 234 00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:21,870 Whoa, nice song, Moz-fart! 235 00:09:21,905 --> 00:09:23,286 [kids laughing] 236 00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:24,424 That wasn't me. 237 00:09:25,426 --> 00:09:26,461 I-I didn't fart. 238 00:09:26,495 --> 00:09:27,876 If you liked that fart sound, 239 00:09:27,912 --> 00:09:29,395 wait till you hear this one! 240 00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:31,052 I've been working on it all year. 241 00:09:31,086 --> 00:09:33,918 It'll literally blow the roof off of the school! 242 00:09:33,951 --> 00:09:35,264 [grunting] 243 00:09:35,298 --> 00:09:36,885 Aah!Give it! 244 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:37,922 Give! 245 00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,613 [strained grunting] 246 00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:42,581 Until you prove that you can behave better, 247 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,307 I'm confiscating your keyboard. 248 00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:46,586 Where are you taking him?! 249 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,277 To my office! 250 00:09:48,311 --> 00:09:50,244 I mean, to somewhere you've never heard of. 251 00:09:50,278 --> 00:09:51,486 Not my office. 252 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,764 No! I'll just follow him and find out. 253 00:09:57,182 --> 00:09:58,494 GENE: Aw! Can't believe it! 254 00:09:58,528 --> 00:09:59,943 Mr. Frond is probably tickling the ivories. 255 00:09:59,977 --> 00:10:01,323 And they're probably laughing, 256 00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:02,635 because they don't know any better. 257 00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:04,431 Well, there's nothing we can do. 258 00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:05,984 Sounds like you aren't getting that keyboard back 259 00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:07,985 until you learn to behave better.Or plan "B": 260 00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,780 We get it back by behaving worse. 261 00:10:09,816 --> 00:10:11,610 Keep talking. 262 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:15,269 GENE: Uh-oh, I'm listening to music on a portable tape player, 263 00:10:15,303 --> 00:10:18,307 and it's making me very curious about sex. 264 00:10:18,341 --> 00:10:19,998 [gasps] 265 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,274 No, no, no, no. 266 00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:23,173 No curiosity in the halls. 267 00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:28,282 I'll need my lock-picking kit. 268 00:10:28,317 --> 00:10:30,008 No, you won't. I've got mine right... 269 00:10:30,043 --> 00:10:31,354 [high-pitched]: ♪ Here... 270 00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:32,631 [explosion] 271 00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,529 Hmm? [groans] 272 00:10:34,563 --> 00:10:36,289 We've got to get to the P.A. system. 273 00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:37,774 But they already did the morning announcements. 274 00:10:37,808 --> 00:10:39,190 Remember? Jody had a birthday, 275 00:10:39,224 --> 00:10:40,846 and the canned food drive is going great. 276 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:41,985 That is all. 277 00:10:42,019 --> 00:10:43,125 That is not all. 278 00:10:43,158 --> 00:10:45,817 I have a special announcement. 279 00:10:47,888 --> 00:10:49,649 Aah.Aah! 280 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,133 [all panting] 281 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,789 [grunting] 282 00:10:52,823 --> 00:10:55,413 And turn. 283 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,966 Hey, uh, 284 00:10:58,001 --> 00:10:59,658 there's a Brendan Fraser DVD 285 00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,315 just sitting in a bush outside. 286 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:02,799 Oh. Mine, mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, 287 00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,663 mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. 288 00:11:05,905 --> 00:11:07,149 [all grunting] 289 00:11:07,182 --> 00:11:09,047 You come out of there right now. 290 00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:11,671 Oh, I'm not coming out... 291 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,741 but this is.♪ 292 00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:17,572 ♪ When you feel like school 293 00:11:17,606 --> 00:11:20,162 ♪ Has sucked the wind out of your sails ♪ 294 00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:22,716 ♪ Remember that it's cool 295 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:26,995 ♪ To use the wind that's in your tails ♪ 296 00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:28,687 ♪ Fart, fart, fart 297 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:29,999 ♪ Fart, fart, fart, fart 298 00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:32,692 ♪ Every fart is a work of art 299 00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,556 ♪ Don't know where to begin? Don't know where to start? ♪ 300 00:11:35,591 --> 00:11:37,730 ♪ Farts will set you free 301 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:40,837 ♪ It's that gas from your ass, it's that toot from your boot ♪ 302 00:11:40,871 --> 00:11:43,254 ♪ That hum from your bum, it's that loot in your chute ♪ 303 00:11:43,288 --> 00:11:46,014 ♪ All that air from your own derriere ♪ 304 00:11:46,049 --> 00:11:48,707 ♪ Come on and set it free 305 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:51,849 ♪ 'Cause farts are liberty [screaming] 306 00:11:51,883 --> 00:11:53,436 ♪ What do we want to do? 307 00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:54,437 ♪ Fart, fart! 308 00:11:54,471 --> 00:11:55,749 ♪ Open up your butt cheeks. 309 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,198 ♪ This is how our butts speak. 310 00:11:57,232 --> 00:11:58,234 ♪ Let's... 311 00:11:58,269 --> 00:11:59,753 ♪ Go... 312 00:11:59,788 --> 00:12:01,202 ♪ Fart! 313 00:12:01,236 --> 00:12:03,446 ♪ It's that gas from your ass 314 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:04,758 ♪ It's that toot from your boot ♪ 315 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:06,277 ♪ That hum from your bum 316 00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:07,865 ♪ It's that loot in your chute 317 00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,866 ♪ All that air from your own derriere ♪ 318 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,765 ♪ Come on and set it free 319 00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:15,630 ♪ 'Cause farts are liberty 320 00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:17,046 ♪ 'Cause farts will 321 00:12:17,081 --> 00:12:18,461 ♪ Set you 322 00:12:18,495 --> 00:12:21,119 ♪ Free! 323 00:12:21,153 --> 00:12:24,052 [loud farting][screams] 324 00:12:24,087 --> 00:12:26,090 [explosion] 325 00:12:27,607 --> 00:12:30,576 ♪ 'Cause farts will set you 326 00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:32,648 ♪ Free! 327 00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:35,961 GENE: The end. 328 00:12:35,995 --> 00:12:38,240 [sobbing] 329 00:12:38,274 --> 00:12:39,759 Are you crying? 330 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,932 [sniffles] Oh, it's so beautiful. 331 00:12:41,967 --> 00:12:45,418 His farts set them free. He's a hero. Don't you get it? 332 00:12:45,453 --> 00:12:48,663 A hero? He wants to destroy the school with farts. 333 00:12:48,697 --> 00:12:50,596 Oh, come on. It was pretty ambiguous, Frond. 334 00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:53,254 I think he wanted the reader to decide... 335 00:12:53,288 --> 00:12:55,774 if the fart destroyed the school. 336 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,431 Well, it was... it was still gross. 337 00:12:57,466 --> 00:12:58,985 [sniffles] Oh, it was beautiful. 338 00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:01,504 And speaking of gross. 339 00:13:01,538 --> 00:13:05,611 Heh. "Tina Belcher's Erotic Friend Fiction presents: 340 00:13:05,645 --> 00:13:08,995 Why I Love Wagstaff: A Tale of Horror." 341 00:13:09,028 --> 00:13:11,825 LINDA and TINA: I'm Tina Belcher. I love Wagstaff. 342 00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:14,275 TINA: I love it so much that I became the volunteer sheriff. 343 00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:15,828 Okay, I mean hall monitor, 344 00:13:15,864 --> 00:13:17,797 But that's like the sheriff of the hall. 345 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,659 Something felt off that morning. 346 00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,283 I could feel it in my bones. 347 00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:23,629 My arm bones, my leg bones. 348 00:13:23,663 --> 00:13:24,942 All the bones. 349 00:13:24,975 --> 00:13:26,149 Aah. 350 00:13:26,183 --> 00:13:28,289 Hey, Tina, let me in. I'm late. 351 00:13:28,323 --> 00:13:30,533 Tammy, you're tardy. I have to write you a citation 352 00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:31,948 if you don't have a note.Ugh. 353 00:13:31,982 --> 00:13:33,501 Don't be such a tattle-tampon. 354 00:13:33,536 --> 00:13:34,640 I don't want to get detention. 355 00:13:34,674 --> 00:13:35,952 Sorry, Tammy, but I... 356 00:13:35,986 --> 00:13:37,505 Hello. 357 00:13:37,539 --> 00:13:39,508 Excuse me, boys, but do you have hall passes? 358 00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:41,198 Or tall passes? [short laugh] 359 00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,649 Okay, thanks, Tina, you're a sucker. See you later. 360 00:13:43,683 --> 00:13:44,650 No, Tammy, come back, I... 361 00:13:44,684 --> 00:13:45,652 No!...got, uh... 362 00:13:45,686 --> 00:13:46,721 Wow, she's not cool. 363 00:13:46,755 --> 00:13:48,379 We have hall passes. 364 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,346 We're on our way to get our jock itch vaccination. 365 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,038 Glad to hear it. 366 00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:53,971 Jock health is the most important kind of health. 367 00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:55,317 Good luck.Great. 368 00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:57,181 I hope to see you at the pep rally today. 369 00:13:57,215 --> 00:13:59,216 Not if I hope to see you at the pep rally first. 370 00:13:59,251 --> 00:14:00,217 [chuckles] 371 00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,495 Swish. 372 00:14:01,529 --> 00:14:03,152 Nothing but butt. 373 00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:05,360 [crash]MAN: Oh. 374 00:14:06,741 --> 00:14:08,157 TINA: Whoa. That boy's jock 375 00:14:08,192 --> 00:14:09,503 must have really itched. 376 00:14:09,538 --> 00:14:11,402 Aw. Well, I should get going. 377 00:14:11,436 --> 00:14:13,024 That rally isn't gonna pep itself. 378 00:14:13,058 --> 00:14:15,370 [low groan] 379 00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:16,889 Come on in. Watch your step. 380 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,167 Y'all ready for this? 381 00:14:18,201 --> 00:14:19,202 [grunt, whoop, squeal] 382 00:14:19,236 --> 00:14:20,860 Uh, ooh, mmm, basketball! 383 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,861 Basketball...! 384 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:26,899 ANNOUNCER: And now, here come your district quarterfinal champions, 385 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:29,177 the Wagstaff Whalers. 386 00:14:29,212 --> 00:14:30,178 [cheering] 387 00:14:30,213 --> 00:14:31,594 Yay. 388 00:14:31,629 --> 00:14:33,286 [growling, groaning] 389 00:14:34,735 --> 00:14:35,908 Oh, that's weird. 390 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,703 [cheerleaders screaming] 391 00:14:37,738 --> 00:14:39,913 [growls] 392 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:42,364 Oh, stop eating my shoulder.[chewing] 393 00:14:42,398 --> 00:14:45,091 Now I can't wear halter tops, you stupid zombie. 394 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:47,057 Oh, no, zombies are attacking the school. 395 00:14:47,092 --> 00:14:49,784 And I already bought Tammy a halter top for her birthday. 396 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,894 Oh, no, the jock itch vaccine must've turned the players 397 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,551 into zombies. We spent so much time asking 398 00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,277 if we could cure jock itch,[zombie growls] 399 00:14:59,312 --> 00:15:02,279 we never asked if we shouldcure jock itch. 400 00:15:02,315 --> 00:15:05,938 Aah.[zombies groaning] 401 00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,734 ALL: Aah! 402 00:15:07,768 --> 00:15:09,046 Guys, this way. 403 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,288 [panting][groaning] 404 00:15:19,642 --> 00:15:21,610 We'll be safest in the teacher's lounge. 405 00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:23,474 It's the only door on school property that locks. 406 00:15:23,508 --> 00:15:25,302 Plus you can smoke in there, in case 407 00:15:25,337 --> 00:15:27,235 anyone is feeling stressed out. No judgment. 408 00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:28,616 Oh, no, it's locked.What? 409 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:30,619 Is somebody in there?No. 410 00:15:30,653 --> 00:15:32,275 Mr. Frond, you have to let us in. 411 00:15:32,309 --> 00:15:34,415 The zombie JV basketball team is right behind us. 412 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:37,315 You know, I... I'd love to, but, uh... my... 413 00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:39,110 This... [stammers] ...won't budge. 414 00:15:39,144 --> 00:15:41,423 Mr. Frond, open the door. 415 00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:42,942 No.You can't leave us all out here 416 00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,597 to get infected. We're just kids. 417 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:46,289 Ow! 418 00:15:46,323 --> 00:15:48,256 The door hurt my knuckles. 419 00:15:48,292 --> 00:15:50,259 All right, look, let me explain. 420 00:15:50,293 --> 00:15:53,090 I have to keep myself safe so I can guide those who survive. 421 00:15:53,124 --> 00:15:54,850 They're gonna need me. 422 00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:57,335 Makes sense.Mr. Frond, there's a... [muffled] 423 00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,613 You just stay in there. Keep yourself safe. 424 00:15:59,648 --> 00:16:02,270 You're so important. We'll be fine. 425 00:16:02,306 --> 00:16:05,792 Yes, I think that's b... aah![groans] 426 00:16:05,826 --> 00:16:08,312 I wonder if she can taste his sadness. 427 00:16:08,346 --> 00:16:09,623 [low groan]JIMMY JR.: Oh, no. 428 00:16:09,658 --> 00:16:11,349 Uh-oh. We've got trouble. 429 00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:13,626 [groaning]Oh, no. We're cornered. 430 00:16:13,662 --> 00:16:15,111 Throw Gene at them. 431 00:16:15,145 --> 00:16:17,458 I'll soil myself to become less appetizing. 432 00:16:17,493 --> 00:16:19,633 [grunts] 433 00:16:19,668 --> 00:16:21,496 Damn you, low-fiber diet. 434 00:16:21,532 --> 00:16:22,878 Hey, let's spit on 'em. 435 00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:24,293 That's what my stepmom does to me 436 00:16:24,327 --> 00:16:25,812 when I walk in on her in the bathroom. 437 00:16:25,846 --> 00:16:27,503 Great idea, Zeke. Spitting.[laughs] 438 00:16:27,538 --> 00:16:28,815 Spit on 'em.Yeah. 439 00:16:28,849 --> 00:16:30,678 [hawking] 440 00:16:30,712 --> 00:16:32,888 Come on, do it. Big-time loogies. [spits] 441 00:16:32,922 --> 00:16:35,683 Oh. Gross, Zeke. 442 00:16:36,926 --> 00:16:41,138 [heavenly music plays] 443 00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:43,553 Whoa, they're trippin' on your flippin'. 444 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,038 Keep going, girl.Yeah, it's working. 445 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,143 They think 446 00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:47,557 you're flirting with them. 447 00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:49,215 Say something nice about their eyes. 448 00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:50,870 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 449 00:16:50,905 --> 00:16:52,701 I'm losing them. 450 00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:53,874 Turn it up, T. 451 00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:56,014 Get your flirt on, girl, come on. 452 00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:57,187 Okay. Everyone, 453 00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:58,188 stand back. 454 00:16:58,224 --> 00:17:00,605 Mmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm, hmm. 455 00:17:07,715 --> 00:17:09,028 Tina, no! 456 00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:14,516 I think we're safe now. 457 00:17:14,549 --> 00:17:16,173 I've got them eating out of my hands, 458 00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:17,726 instead of actually eating them. 459 00:17:17,759 --> 00:17:19,038 Because they're zombies. 460 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,419 Man, girls always go for jocks. 461 00:17:21,453 --> 00:17:23,041 Follow me, fellas. Let's go somewhere 462 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,940 where the 16 of us can be alone. 463 00:17:24,973 --> 00:17:27,079 If your butts fall off, pick them up and put them back on. 464 00:17:27,115 --> 00:17:30,048 She was never really mine, was she? 465 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,085 Who? Oh, Tina. 466 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,536 TINA: It wasn't easy dating 15 zombies at once. 467 00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:35,882 Oh, wait, yes, it was. 468 00:17:35,915 --> 00:17:37,401 Thank you, zombie boyfriends. 469 00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:55,971 "Soon, I couldn't tell where I ended 470 00:17:56,005 --> 00:17:57,938 "and the zombies began. Butts, butts. 471 00:17:57,972 --> 00:17:59,457 I love butts." 472 00:17:59,491 --> 00:18:00,976 Okay, I-I think that's enough. I got it. 473 00:18:01,009 --> 00:18:02,633 It-it got weird. 474 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,912 So I think you can see why this one could not be displayed. 475 00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:07,568 I don't know. You're kind of making a big deal 476 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:09,295 out of nothing. I mean, they're just 477 00:18:09,328 --> 00:18:11,228 a bunch of kids' stories, Frond. Come on.But... but... 478 00:18:11,261 --> 00:18:13,608 But-but... but... But... but... 479 00:18:13,644 --> 00:18:15,472 What?Why... why don't they... 480 00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:16,957 Why don't they like me? 481 00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:18,442 I mean, I... I'm the villain 482 00:18:18,476 --> 00:18:20,270 in all of these stories. 483 00:18:20,306 --> 00:18:23,412 Aw, don't cry, Mr. Frond, come on.I'm not crying. 484 00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:25,413 You are crying.Hey look, you weren't that bad 485 00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:26,967 in Tina's story. 486 00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:28,830 What? I was a coward! 487 00:18:28,865 --> 00:18:31,144 I locked myself in a room 488 00:18:31,179 --> 00:18:33,422 while children got eaten! 489 00:18:33,457 --> 00:18:34,423 What? 490 00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:35,769 Say it again.I said... 491 00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:36,942 Okay, okay.I locked... 492 00:18:36,977 --> 00:18:38,771 Say it, don't......myself... 493 00:18:38,807 --> 00:18:40,671 Okay....in a room... 494 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,777 Mmm....while children were eaten! 495 00:18:43,811 --> 00:18:45,124 [wailing] 496 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,952 Look, Frond, uh, you're... 497 00:18:46,987 --> 00:18:48,851 You're not a villain; you're... you're just.... 498 00:18:48,885 --> 00:18:50,681 You know, you're c... You're complicated. 499 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,786 What?And you're really uptight. 500 00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:54,478 What?But, I mean, it's not like you 501 00:18:54,511 --> 00:18:56,513 actually took Gene's keyboard away. 502 00:18:56,548 --> 00:18:58,447 Yes, I did. I have it right here. 503 00:18:58,481 --> 00:19:01,311 Oh.Well, so maybe relax a little. Right? 504 00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:03,797 Try to talk to the kids about kid stuff. 505 00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:05,661 You know? Relate to 'em. On their level. 506 00:19:05,695 --> 00:19:09,458 Okay. So, like, um, chicken nuggets and, uh, e-mail. 507 00:19:09,492 --> 00:19:11,633 Uh...Well, you're... You know, 508 00:19:11,666 --> 00:19:14,048 you'll get to something eventually. 509 00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:17,327 Maybe I should try to spend more time with them. Huh? 510 00:19:17,363 --> 00:19:19,157 Yeah, or... Yeah, or the opposite. 511 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,298 Bob, Linda, thank you. 512 00:19:21,332 --> 00:19:23,679 I feel like we've had a major breakthrough in here today. 513 00:19:23,713 --> 00:19:25,025 Let's hug. 514 00:19:25,059 --> 00:19:26,647 Ow, ow.Let's seal this heal. 515 00:19:26,682 --> 00:19:27,890 Ow.Okay. 516 00:19:27,924 --> 00:19:29,201 This feels good. 517 00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:31,548 So, are you gonna put their projects up? 518 00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:32,653 Absolutely not. 519 00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:33,895 [groans][mumbles]: Linda. 520 00:19:33,931 --> 00:19:35,656 Wha... What? Oh.Look, look, look. 521 00:19:35,691 --> 00:19:36,898 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 522 00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:38,384 She got him. 523 00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:39,730 Okay, okay.She got him. 524 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:40,834 Well, it's time for me 525 00:19:40,868 --> 00:19:42,008 to get back out there 526 00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:44,182 and give the big keynote speech: 527 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,529 "Behind the Student Body." 528 00:19:46,564 --> 00:19:48,083 This is where I really get to 529 00:19:48,116 --> 00:19:51,327 show that superintendent my best side. 530 00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:54,227 You show him.Yeah, well, tonight's gonna be your night. 531 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,194 Thank you, Belchers. 532 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,367 Oh, my God. Get your purse. 533 00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:58,576 Got it.And Gene's keyboard. 534 00:19:58,611 --> 00:19:59,853 Yup.Let's go. 535 00:19:59,887 --> 00:20:01,337 Let's go. 536 00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:03,925 I'm ready for Pasta Prom! 537 00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:05,030 You look gorgeous.Mmm. 538 00:20:05,065 --> 00:20:06,031 [gasps] 539 00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:08,240 It happened. I felt it. 540 00:20:08,276 --> 00:20:10,036 The brownie chair surprise. 541 00:20:10,069 --> 00:20:12,383 What?Oh, nothing, Tina. 542 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:14,695 Nothing at all. 543 00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:15,938 What happened? 544 00:20:15,972 --> 00:20:17,387 Uh, just... I, um... 545 00:20:17,423 --> 00:20:18,941 Wait, what did you say? Brownie chair supplies? 546 00:20:18,976 --> 00:20:20,528 No, Gene. 547 00:20:20,564 --> 00:20:21,771 Brown hair supplies.Is chair supplies... 548 00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:24,049 No. "Brownie chair surprise." 549 00:20:24,084 --> 00:20:25,258 Right. What is that? 550 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:28,054 Okay, you put a brownie on a chair, 551 00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:29,538 Uh-huh.and then you walk away. 552 00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:31,436 How is the brownie at all surprised by this? 553 00:20:31,471 --> 00:20:32,885 No, the brownie's...Yeah, what... 554 00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:34,371 Why... Why are you pranking a brownie? 555 00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:36,751 Somebody takes a seat without looking 556 00:20:36,787 --> 00:20:38,720 and they got brownie on their butt. 557 00:20:38,753 --> 00:20:41,412 Oh!God, it doesn't sound as good when I say it out loud. 558 00:20:41,447 --> 00:20:44,138 So it looks like somebody sat in a pile of poo 559 00:20:44,173 --> 00:20:46,072 that they put in their chair on purpose.Yes! 560 00:20:46,105 --> 00:20:47,556 Right. There is more to... Yeah. 561 00:20:47,590 --> 00:20:50,076 That is a great but unusual prank.Thank you. 562 00:20:50,109 --> 00:20:52,250 So what happened?[groans] 563 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:55,564 ♪ It's that gas from your ass, it's that toot from your boot ♪ 564 00:20:55,598 --> 00:20:58,567 ♪ That hum from your bum, it's that loot in your chute ♪ 565 00:20:58,602 --> 00:21:00,568 ♪ All that air from your own derriere ♪ 566 00:21:00,604 --> 00:21:03,400 ♪ Come on and set it free 567 00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:06,298 ♪ 'Cause farts are liberty 568 00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:07,817 GENE: ♪ What do we want to do? 569 00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:09,095 KIDS: ♪ Fart, fart! 570 00:21:09,128 --> 00:21:10,406 GENE: ♪ Open up your butt cheeks 571 00:21:10,441 --> 00:21:11,648 KIDS: ♪ This is how our butts speak 572 00:21:11,683 --> 00:21:12,823 GENE: ♪ Let's... 573 00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:14,272 ♪ Go... 574 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,308 ♪ Fart! 575 00:21:16,344 --> 00:21:19,278 ♪ It's that gas from your ass, it's that toot from your boot ♪ 576 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,761 ♪ That hum from your bum 577 00:21:20,796 --> 00:21:22,625 ♪ It's that loot in your chute 578 00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:24,766 ♪ All that air from your own derriere ♪ 579 00:21:24,799 --> 00:21:27,319 ♪ Come on and set it free 580 00:21:27,355 --> 00:21:30,288 ♪ 'Cause farts are liberty 581 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:35,294 ♪ 'Cause farts will set you free...! ♪ 582 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,296 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org