1
00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:23,091
♪ Hang the ball
and the ball goes over there ♪

2
00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:24,713
♪ And this goes over there

3
00:00:24,748 --> 00:00:26,059
♪ And da-da-da-da-da...

4
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,957
Oh, everybody,
look at the tree.

5
00:00:27,992 --> 00:00:29,443
Aw, I love this tree.

6
00:00:29,477 --> 00:00:30,719
It's the day after
Halloween, Lin.

7
00:00:30,754 --> 00:00:31,961
Don't you think
we might have

8
00:00:31,996 --> 00:00:33,549
gotten the tree
a little early?

9
00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:35,380
Oh, put some mistletoe
on my butt and kiss it, Bobby.

10
00:00:35,414 --> 00:00:37,070
Okay.
Yeah, Dad.

11
00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:39,659
Stop ruining Halloween
by not celebrating Christmas.

12
00:00:41,247 --> 00:00:42,869
Aw... bye, tree.

13
00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:44,078
You had a good life.

14
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,286
That's how I want to go out,

15
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,081
dehydrated and covered
in tinsel.

16
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,807
Sounds like
a gay pride parade.

17
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:49,979
Mm-hmm.

18
00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:51,740
Everybody, look at the tree.

19
00:00:51,774 --> 00:00:53,087
Aw, I love our new tree.

20
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,432
Look. [laughs]

21
00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:55,883
It's the day after
Thanksgiving, Lin.

22
00:00:55,917 --> 00:00:57,954
I'm not looking
at it till tomorrow.

23
00:00:57,987 --> 00:01:00,060
It seems like just yesterday
it was Thanksgiving.

24
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,405
Oh, my God.

25
00:01:02,959 --> 00:01:04,442
It's Christmas Eve
and our tree is dead.

26
00:01:04,477 --> 00:01:06,135
What are we gonna do, Bobby?

27
00:01:06,168 --> 00:01:08,137
I don't know, but we have to
get this out of the house;

28
00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:09,655
it caught on fire twice.

29
00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:11,311
I guess we're just not
going to have a tree

30
00:01:11,346 --> 00:01:12,243
on Christmas this year.

31
00:01:12,278 --> 00:01:13,625
What?!

32
00:01:13,659 --> 00:01:15,004
Not-not-not-not-not
have a tree on...

33
00:01:15,039 --> 00:01:16,730
on Christmas?!

34
00:01:16,765 --> 00:01:19,147
Where are the presents
gonna go if there's no tree?

35
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,804
We want
a divorce!

36
00:01:20,838 --> 00:01:22,495
Thank you, bye.

37
00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:24,498
Everyone just
calm down, okay?

38
00:01:24,531 --> 00:01:25,981
There is a tree lot
about an hour away.

39
00:01:26,015 --> 00:01:27,156
And the guy said
we could have

40
00:01:27,189 --> 00:01:28,329
the pick of the runts!
Right?

41
00:01:28,364 --> 00:01:29,986
Lin, you want to
drive an hour away

42
00:01:30,019 --> 00:01:31,298
and get
another tree?

43
00:01:31,331 --> 00:01:32,677
What-what about our
Christmas Eve dinner?

44
00:01:32,712 --> 00:01:34,024
I have a ham
in the oven.

45
00:01:34,058 --> 00:01:35,680
You have
to fart?
No, Tina.

46
00:01:35,716 --> 00:01:37,510
A real ham is
currently
in our oven.

47
00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:38,822
Just bring it.

48
00:01:38,856 --> 00:01:40,789
Everyone loves
rare ham.
No, Gene.

49
00:01:40,823 --> 00:01:42,308
Bob, put the oven on low.

50
00:01:42,343 --> 00:01:43,516
We'll be back before you can say

51
00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,139
Dancer, Prancer,
Vixen, and Nixon.

52
00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:46,795
Well, we'd better
be back fast.

53
00:01:46,829 --> 00:01:48,866
Tonight's the night we
finally catch Santa Claus.

54
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,281
We've been planning
this for months.

55
00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:51,490
You're gonna
catch Santa?

56
00:01:51,525 --> 00:01:53,112
Yup.
We built a Santa trap.

57
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,700
All right, but if you catch him,

58
00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:55,942
he's your responsibility.

59
00:01:55,977 --> 00:01:58,014
I'm not cleaning up
after Santa.

60
00:01:58,048 --> 00:01:59,290
DJ:
Hey, this is David Dazzle,

61
00:01:59,325 --> 00:02:00,671
I'll be your pilot for tonight.

62
00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:02,156
I'm playing all your
Christmas favorites

63
00:02:02,191 --> 00:02:03,468
and some songs no one likes.

64
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,780
Family road trip!
[whoops]

65
00:02:05,814 --> 00:02:07,989
We're going to get
a Christmas tree,
all right!

66
00:02:08,024 --> 00:02:09,300
Again.
Oh, Bobby.

67
00:02:09,336 --> 00:02:10,784
Stop being such
a lump of coal.

68
00:02:10,819 --> 00:02:12,615
This is what the
holidays are all about.

69
00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:13,856
We're together,

70
00:02:13,891 --> 00:02:15,376
there's Christmas
music on the radio.

71
00:02:15,411 --> 00:02:16,860
Oh, give me
the phone!

72
00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:18,551
I want to request
"Jingle in the Jungle."

73
00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:19,862
"Jingle in the Jungle"?

74
00:02:19,897 --> 00:02:21,865
That sounds like
a terrible Christmas song.

75
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,176
Maybe you're not ready.

76
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,352
"Jingle in the Jungle"
pushes the limits.

77
00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:26,628
Step on it, Dad!

78
00:02:26,663 --> 00:02:28,181
We have a date
with a fat old man.

79
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:29,908
We're chubby
chasers.
Tina, that's...

80
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,564
Don't say that, that's
not ni-nice to say.

81
00:02:31,598 --> 00:02:33,394
Fat fetishists?Kids, tickle
your father.

82
00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,293
He's being a big
bah hum-booger! Get him.No, don't...

83
00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:37,156
Get him!
Get him!
Don't tickle me
now, I'm driving.

84
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,228
No, kids...♪ I'm gonna tickle
your mustache ♪

85
00:02:39,262 --> 00:02:41,091
All right, kids, cut it out!♪ I'm gonna tickle
your mustache. ♪

86
00:02:41,126 --> 00:02:43,058
I-I got armpits! Armpits!Hey, hey, hey,
I'm driving!

87
00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:45,199
You don't tickle the driver!Oh! You're not driving
very well.

88
00:02:45,234 --> 00:02:47,305
BOB:
Whose hand is that?
I can't see.

89
00:02:47,338 --> 00:02:49,203
GENE: I just want to use the
windshield wipers for a second.

90
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,549
BOB: Lin, get the kids off me! LINDA: It's Christmas!

91
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,551
BOB:
Are these even Christmas trees?

92
00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:54,932
Aw. They're
all so skinny

93
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,245
and sick-looking.

94
00:02:56,278 --> 00:02:57,486
Can you turn that
one around, please?

95
00:02:57,521 --> 00:02:59,212
Mom wants to see
its tree butt.

96
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,663
Everybody's got
their thing.

97
00:03:00,697 --> 00:03:02,526
I'm more of
a branch man. Mmm.

98
00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:03,907
Okay, well,
you guys decide

99
00:03:03,942 --> 00:03:05,185
on which scrawny
tree to buy.

100
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,599
We're going
to go over there

101
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:08,842
and practice our Santa
containment strategies.

102
00:03:08,877 --> 00:03:10,223
I assume he
knows jujitsu...

103
00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:11,776
Uh, can I come?

104
00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:13,227
Your mom's gonna be
at least another
half hour here.

105
00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,884
Uh, you're not part
of the plan, Dad.

106
00:03:14,918 --> 00:03:16,782
Well, I could help.
I'm bigger than you.

107
00:03:16,817 --> 00:03:18,093
Yeah, but you're weak.

108
00:03:18,127 --> 00:03:19,371
Santa would drop you.

109
00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:20,579
And that would kill me.

110
00:03:20,614 --> 00:03:22,580
I could
take Santa.
Okay, Dad.

111
00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:23,858
Hey, Tina,
thanks for

112
00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:25,790
helping Louise
beat up Santa.

113
00:03:25,825 --> 00:03:27,103
She really believes...

114
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,518
she can catch him.
Yeah.

115
00:03:28,552 --> 00:03:29,864
It's so nice that
she still believes...

116
00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:31,106
in this mission.

117
00:03:31,140 --> 00:03:32,349
It's weird, right?

118
00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:34,144
Isn't nine a little
old to, uh...

119
00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:35,387
believe that?

120
00:03:35,421 --> 00:03:36,906
To what...
Believe what?

121
00:03:36,939 --> 00:03:38,389
That...
What... um...

122
00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:39,908
In the mission?
[stammers]
Okay. Forget it.

123
00:03:39,942 --> 00:03:41,151
Never mind.
Good talking to you.

124
00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:42,567
Good talking
to you, Dad.

125
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,432
Finally, a truck
you're allowed to lick.

126
00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:47,710
LOUISE:
Gene!

127
00:03:47,743 --> 00:03:49,055
Focus!

128
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:50,574
Okay, let's go
through this again.

129
00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:52,093
We'll pretend
the Porta Potti is the tree

130
00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:54,268
and Santa's on his way
to deliver presents.

131
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:55,442
Gene, you be Santa.

132
00:03:55,475 --> 00:03:56,650
Phase one.

133
00:03:56,683 --> 00:03:58,064
Santa passes
right by the kitchen

134
00:03:58,098 --> 00:03:59,307
where he sees cookies!

135
00:03:59,341 --> 00:04:00,895
These rocks are the cookies.

136
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,656
Num num num num num.

137
00:04:02,689 --> 00:04:04,382
Phase two.
Santa finds a note

138
00:04:04,415 --> 00:04:05,728
that says "Milk in the fridge."

139
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:07,004
I'm thirsty!

140
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:07,971
Phase three!

141
00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:09,282
When he opens
the fridge

142
00:04:09,318 --> 00:04:10,905
and grabs the glass
of milk... Bam!

143
00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:13,390
His wrist is stuck
in a zip tie!Aah!

144
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,115
That's when
I jump out

145
00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:16,670
and wrap myself
around his ankles.

146
00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:18,119
[grunts]

147
00:04:18,153 --> 00:04:19,293
Then Tina jumps on his back

148
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,019
and makes Kringle crumble.Aah!

149
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,158
I'll gouge out his eyes

150
00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:23,470
and pull on his beard!Aah!

151
00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:24,747
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!

152
00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:25,954
We want him
alive, T.

153
00:04:25,988 --> 00:04:27,473
Sorry, I got carried away.

154
00:04:27,507 --> 00:04:28,819
I'm glad we practiced.

155
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,199
BOB:
Kids, help me out.

156
00:04:30,235 --> 00:04:31,339
I can't see. Am I good?

157
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:32,617
Yeah, you're good.

158
00:04:32,651 --> 00:04:33,963
You're very good.

159
00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:35,860
[horn honks]

160
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,103
I thought you said
I was good!

161
00:04:37,137 --> 00:04:38,312
How could you
guys not see

162
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,485
that giant
candy cane truck?

163
00:04:39,519 --> 00:04:40,935
We see it.
We just don't make

164
00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,697
a big deal out of it.[horn blaring]

165
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,319
Great, I'm not
getting traction.

166
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,009
I thought we were
gonna get snow tires.

167
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:50,048
That was gonna be my
Christmas present to you.Aw...

168
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,292
Because I wasn't expecting
to be out in the snow,

169
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,327
buying a Christmas tree
the night before Christmas.

170
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:55,949
[horn blares]

171
00:04:55,985 --> 00:04:57,365
Hey! Jackass!

172
00:04:57,399 --> 00:04:59,194
Quit honking
at my family!

173
00:04:59,228 --> 00:05:00,886
We're having a Christmas
moment here, all right?

174
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,060
Lin, just stop.

175
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,440
Bob, let me
handle this.

176
00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:04,855
[honking to tune]♪ Jing-le bells

177
00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,235
♪ Jing-le bells

178
00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:08,031
♪ Jin-gle all the way

179
00:05:08,065 --> 00:05:10,137
Lin.
What?
I'm doing "Jingle Bells."

180
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:11,656
[honking]
He's just
hearing honking.

181
00:05:11,689 --> 00:05:13,139
Now, stop.
Come on, kids.
Sing along!

182
00:05:13,173 --> 00:05:15,038
[honking to tune]♪ Jing-le bells

183
00:05:15,072 --> 00:05:18,040
♪ Jing-le bells Kids, don't sing
"Jingle Bells."

184
00:05:18,076 --> 00:05:20,180
♪ Jing-le all the way GENE: ♪ Jingle all the bells

185
00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:21,355
LOUISE: Jingle, jingle, jingle.LINDA: Ooh, there we go.

186
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,978
BOB:
Everybody stop jingling.

187
00:05:24,012 --> 00:05:25,911
How long does the normal
person stay on hold?

188
00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:27,706
Four hours?Oh, great.

189
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:30,019
This guy again.
I guess he's not
in a hurry anymore.

190
00:05:30,052 --> 00:05:31,365
Maybe the speed
limit is seven.

191
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,918
You know, I'm
gonna pass him.

192
00:05:35,851 --> 00:05:37,026
You can't be serious.

193
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,096
Is he speeding up?

194
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,855
What's this guy's problem?

195
00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:41,927
LINDA:
So...

196
00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:44,101
you guys excited
to decorate the tree?

197
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,103
I don't know if
we should put

198
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,346
any ornaments
on it, Mom.

199
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,105
It looked
pretty fragile.
What?

200
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,865
GENE:
Yeah, somebody give
that tree a sandwich!

201
00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:51,143
And a bowl
of soup.

202
00:05:53,317 --> 00:05:54,319
Oh, my God.

203
00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:56,838
Aw, be nice to the tree.

204
00:05:56,872 --> 00:05:58,391
LOUISE:
It is December, Mom.

205
00:05:58,427 --> 00:06:00,255
Shouldn't you be decorating

206
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:01,533
for the Fourth of July?

207
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:05,156
Stop speeding up!

208
00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:07,435
Let me in!

209
00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:08,574
Bob, who you
talking to?

210
00:06:08,608 --> 00:06:11,093
[horn blares, screaming]

211
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,752
Oh, my God!
That was close!

212
00:06:13,786 --> 00:06:14,959
You almost drove
us right into

213
00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:16,375
that snow
plow, Bobby!

214
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,584
Good thing you don't have

215
00:06:17,617 --> 00:06:18,757
any children in the backseat.

216
00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:20,240
It wasn't
my fault!

217
00:06:20,276 --> 00:06:21,588
That trucker is driving
like a lunatic.

218
00:06:21,622 --> 00:06:23,797
More like you are.
No.
It was him.

219
00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:25,487
I just want to get
away from him.

220
00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:30,459
Now he's right
on my ass.

221
00:06:30,492 --> 00:06:32,461
This guy's trying
to kill us!

222
00:06:33,668 --> 00:06:35,428
I'm gonna pull off the road
right there.

223
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,603
[tires screeching]

224
00:06:36,637 --> 00:06:37,776
[screaming]

225
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,259
Yes!

226
00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:45,231
[tires screeching]

227
00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:47,821
[screaming]

228
00:06:47,855 --> 00:06:49,478
LINDA:
Oh, my God,
I'm gonna puke!

229
00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:50,617
[gagging]

230
00:06:50,651 --> 00:06:52,411
Huh...
is everybody okay?

231
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,653
I'm fine.I'm great!

232
00:06:53,689 --> 00:06:54,966
I didn't
pee my pants.

233
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,656
Good, Gene.Why wasn't I scared?

234
00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:57,933
Wait, that was
terrifying.

235
00:06:57,968 --> 00:06:59,245
Now I have to pee!

236
00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,074
Okay, uh....
just go pee outside.
No!

237
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,250
It will freeze up and
go up inside my body!

238
00:07:03,283 --> 00:07:04,458
What the hell was that, Bobby?

239
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,562
You trying to get us killed?

240
00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:06,908
Me?
That trucker just

241
00:07:06,942 --> 00:07:08,461
ran us off the road, Lin!

242
00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:10,430
GENE:
The pee is winning.Gene, just hold it.

243
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,327
Okay, so every time
somebody tailgates you,

244
00:07:12,362 --> 00:07:13,639
you drive off the road?

245
00:07:13,673 --> 00:07:15,124
That wasn't tailgating,

246
00:07:15,158 --> 00:07:16,574
that was intimidation!

247
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:18,990
By an adorable
candy cane truck.

248
00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:21,163
Urination begins
in three, two...

249
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:22,475
Gene, Gene.

250
00:07:22,511 --> 00:07:24,478
We'll take you to pee
in that diner.

251
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,204
Hurry up. We need to
get back on the road.

252
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,687
It might take a minute.

253
00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:29,656
My bladder asked if my colon
could come out and play,

254
00:07:29,689 --> 00:07:31,209
and my colon was like,
"Sure thing."

255
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,762
[gasps]
Oh ,Bobby!

256
00:07:32,797 --> 00:07:34,177
They make Dutch
Babies here!

257
00:07:34,211 --> 00:07:35,454
Let's order one!

258
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,663
What's a Dutch Baby?

259
00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:37,870
About $2,000 less

260
00:07:37,904 --> 00:07:39,459
than an American baby?

261
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:40,805
No, it's their
world-famous

262
00:07:40,838 --> 00:07:42,047
high-rise pancake.

263
00:07:42,081 --> 00:07:43,877
It says it takes
25 minutes to make.

264
00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:45,292
We don't
have time.

265
00:07:45,326 --> 00:07:46,637
I have a ham in
the oven, remember?

266
00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:48,225
Just fart, Dad.
It's okay.

267
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,192
Tina, stop.

268
00:07:49,226 --> 00:07:50,297
You almost
ran our family

269
00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:51,677
off the road,
remember?

270
00:07:51,711 --> 00:07:53,196
We're getting a
Dutch Baby for dessert.

271
00:07:53,230 --> 00:07:54,612
We'll get it to go.
Dutch Baby, please.

272
00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:56,129
But the ham
will dry out.

273
00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:58,201
You could call Teddy.
He's got a spare key.

274
00:07:58,235 --> 00:07:59,478
I bet you he'd
turn off the oven.

275
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,065
Sure thing, Bobby.

276
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,172
I was gonna watch church on TV
but I can just DVR it.

277
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:04,552
Well, we just need you
to turn off the oven.

278
00:08:04,586 --> 00:08:06,209
That's all, Teddy.
Ooh. Uh...

279
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:07,797
I'm not really
much of a cook.

280
00:08:07,831 --> 00:08:09,040
I don't spend a lot
of time in the kitchen.

281
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,076
[sighs]
As you
probably know.

282
00:08:11,110 --> 00:08:12,699
It's not hard, Teddy.
You just turn the knob...Whoa, whoa.

283
00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,528
Slow down, Bob.
Let me get a pen.

284
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,185
You don't need
a pen, Teddy.
Hold on,
hold on, hold on.

285
00:08:16,218 --> 00:08:17,565
You just need to turn
the knob to "off."

286
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,014
Turn the knob to...?
Go.

287
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:20,326
Off.
Off.

288
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,535
Okay.

289
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,985
O-F...

290
00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:24,226
Oh, my God.
This thing's
not working.

291
00:08:24,262 --> 00:08:25,643
Why is it
you always--

292
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:26,884
you never have one
that works when you...

293
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,369
Hold on.
Just go
to our house

294
00:08:28,403 --> 00:08:29,646
and turn off
the oven!
Okay.

295
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,992
Bob, did you get
my Christmas card?

296
00:08:31,026 --> 00:08:32,856
Teddy, I gotta go.

297
00:08:32,890 --> 00:08:34,409
Bobby, did you get
the Christmas card?
Not yet.
Can't wait.

298
00:08:34,443 --> 00:08:35,860
Not everyone
got 'em.
Bye!

299
00:08:35,894 --> 00:08:37,413
Oh, they got
a pecan pie.

300
00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:38,827
Should we get a pie
while we wait?

301
00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:40,450
Do I look different?
I feel different.

302
00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:41,590
Whoo... ha...

303
00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:43,004
Phone.
Gimme the phone.

304
00:08:43,038 --> 00:08:44,557
Why?
I want to get
back on hold.

305
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:45,663
It's the only place

306
00:08:45,697 --> 00:08:47,284
I know who
I am anymore.
Hmm.

307
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,010
Uh, excuse me,
Officer.

308
00:08:49,044 --> 00:08:50,390
Hi.
Over here.

309
00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:51,738
Uh, yes.

310
00:08:51,772 --> 00:08:53,533
Um... I would like
to report a crime.

311
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,017
I was just run
off the road

312
00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:58,365
by a truck shaped like
a giant candy cane.

313
00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:00,022
Do you want to maybe
write that down

314
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,437
or call it in?

315
00:09:02,471 --> 00:09:03,715
Hello?

316
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,683
Are you injured
in any way?

317
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,029
Um... no.

318
00:09:08,063 --> 00:09:09,582
Was there any damage
to your vehicle?

319
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:10,860
No.

320
00:09:10,894 --> 00:09:12,067
So, what, was
he mean to you?

321
00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:13,311
A truck driver
was mean to you?

322
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,589
Oh, snap!
Louise, stop.

323
00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:17,107
Why do they call
you "the fuzz"?

324
00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:19,282
Is it because
of your head?Gene.

325
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:20,767
Sorry, don't listen
to them, Officer.

326
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,596
But maybe
listen to me?

327
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:25,565
Because it doesn't
seem like you're
doing that.

328
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,635
Sir, I am trying
to enjoy my Dutch Baby.

329
00:09:27,669 --> 00:09:29,153
Looks good.

330
00:09:29,188 --> 00:09:30,604
Listen, there's a very
dangerous man out there

331
00:09:30,639 --> 00:09:32,432
driving around in
a huge candy cane.

332
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:34,988
I'm gonna need you to slide
back down into your booth.

333
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:37,403
Officer, you just
gotta listen to me!

334
00:09:37,437 --> 00:09:38,577
Sorry about that.

335
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,820
Did you just hit
that waitress?

336
00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,269
No.Yes, you did.

337
00:09:41,303 --> 00:09:42,892
I mean, yes, I did,
but it was a mistake.

338
00:09:42,927 --> 00:09:44,653
Why would you hit
someone on Christmas?

339
00:09:44,687 --> 00:09:46,413
It's 'cause this guy
wasn't listening to me.

340
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:47,827
Well, maybe if you slap
more waitresses,

341
00:09:47,863 --> 00:09:49,173
I'll get right on it.Fine.

342
00:09:49,209 --> 00:09:50,485
Linda, kids,
we're leaving.

343
00:09:50,519 --> 00:09:52,073
No more Dutch Babies!No!

344
00:09:52,107 --> 00:09:53,971
I think that's
a good idea.Let's go.

345
00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:55,663
My Baby hasn't been
delivered yet.

346
00:09:55,697 --> 00:09:56,905
Lin, come on!

347
00:09:56,941 --> 00:09:58,908
Oh, look, it came out
in 22 minutes!

348
00:09:58,942 --> 00:10:01,530
Oh, it's a preemie
just like Jesus.

349
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,256
TEDDY:
Hello?

350
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:04,638
Anybody home?

351
00:10:04,673 --> 00:10:06,674
I know there's not,
but I have manners.

352
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:08,815
Mmm. That ham smells good.

353
00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:10,160
Wish my place smelled
this hammy.

354
00:10:10,195 --> 00:10:11,437
Bob's really got it all.

355
00:10:11,471 --> 00:10:13,025
Oh, it's just a dial.

356
00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:14,614
Why did Bob make it
so complicated?

357
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:15,787
Hey, there's my Christmas card.

358
00:10:15,822 --> 00:10:17,270
Bob didn't open it.

359
00:10:17,306 --> 00:10:18,894
What's he waiting for,
actual Christmas?

360
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:21,861
Hello, cookies.
I'll accept a tip.

361
00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:23,380
Tree or a reindeer?

362
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,658
Ah, they probably
taste the same.

363
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,831
Or maybe they don't.

364
00:10:25,865 --> 00:10:27,626
Maybe I find out.
Who knows?

365
00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:30,352
I need some milk. Mmm.

366
00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:33,217
"The milk is in the fridge."
Okay.

367
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,323
"To reach milk,

368
00:10:35,357 --> 00:10:38,222
place your hand through
Christmas wrist wreath."

369
00:10:38,258 --> 00:10:40,155
That sounds fun.

370
00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:41,330
Oh! Oh!

371
00:10:41,364 --> 00:10:43,125
[grunting]

372
00:10:43,158 --> 00:10:44,229
What's going on?!

373
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:46,058
Aah! Oh!

374
00:10:46,092 --> 00:10:47,024
Oh, man!

375
00:10:47,059 --> 00:10:49,269
[grunting]

376
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:51,684
Ooh, pickles.

377
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,134
LINDA:
Ah, hope you're happy, Bobby.

378
00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:54,584
You almost got
this family arrested.

379
00:10:54,619 --> 00:10:55,654
You know, the only reason

380
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:56,586
we're even driving around

381
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,898
on Christmas Eve, Lin,

382
00:10:57,932 --> 00:10:59,312
is because you
bought a tree

383
00:10:59,347 --> 00:11:01,350
on November 1!
[scoffs]

384
00:11:01,384 --> 00:11:03,870
Your negative attitude is
what probably killed our tree.

385
00:11:03,903 --> 00:11:06,216
Both of you, shush!
We got to get home!

386
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,495
Santa's not gonna
kidnap himself.

387
00:11:08,528 --> 00:11:10,359
It's the one thing
he can't do.

388
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:15,259
Oh, my God. Is that him?

389
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:18,884
It's the candy cane truck!

390
00:11:18,918 --> 00:11:19,850
Oh, here we go.

391
00:11:19,885 --> 00:11:21,370
Bob and his truck,
everybody.

392
00:11:21,403 --> 00:11:22,716
[engine revs]

393
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,373
Why is he in
the middle of the road?

394
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:28,826
Why is he coming so fast?

395
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:29,758
Bobby!

396
00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:31,759
Bobby!

397
00:11:31,793 --> 00:11:33,037
[all screaming]Oh, my God!

398
00:11:36,418 --> 00:11:38,386
Bob, that candy cane truck
is trying to kill us!

399
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:40,043
That's what I've
been saying!

400
00:11:40,077 --> 00:11:41,942
We don't listen to you!

401
00:11:41,976 --> 00:11:43,219
Oh, my Dutch Baby!

402
00:11:43,254 --> 00:11:45,082
Get it out from under
the pedals, Lin!

403
00:11:45,118 --> 00:11:47,120
You're mushing it, Bobby!
You're killing her!

404
00:11:47,153 --> 00:11:48,638
So you believe me now?

405
00:11:48,673 --> 00:11:50,432
Oh, I'm so sorry
I doubted you, Bobby.

406
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:51,918
I thought it was like
that time you said

407
00:11:51,951 --> 00:11:53,436
you flushed
but I know you didn't.

408
00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:55,299
I flushed.I saw what I saw!

409
00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:57,095
I still see it
when I close my eyes.

410
00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:58,924
Look, we don't have
time for this.

411
00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:00,857
We have to call the police.
Gene, give your mom the phone!

412
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:02,652
I can't. I'm on hold
with the radio station!

413
00:12:02,687 --> 00:12:04,653
You've been on hold
with them this whole time?

414
00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:06,725
"Jingle in the Jungle" is
an American classic.

415
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:08,210
You'll thank me
when you hear it.

416
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:09,451
Give her the phone!

417
00:12:09,486 --> 00:12:10,868
The battery's dead!

418
00:12:10,902 --> 00:12:12,385
Damn it, Gene!

419
00:12:12,421 --> 00:12:15,562
All batteries die,
but this one truly lived.

420
00:12:15,596 --> 00:12:17,253
Hang on, everybody!
Whoa!

421
00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:18,738
[all grunt]

422
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,774
What are you doing?!I thought the car would

423
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,259
spin all the way around
like in the movies.

424
00:12:23,293 --> 00:12:24,985
Oh, we can't shake this guy!I'm gonna go down

425
00:12:25,019 --> 00:12:26,261
that little road.

426
00:12:26,297 --> 00:12:28,644
[tires screech]

427
00:12:28,677 --> 00:12:30,679
[truck beeping]

428
00:12:30,715 --> 00:12:31,991
Bobby, do something.
He's coming back!

429
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:33,682
This guy's crazy!

430
00:12:33,717 --> 00:12:36,238
I'll pull the car in there
and shut off the lights.

431
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,101
Maybe he won't see us
in the trees.

432
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:48,283
Everybody stay still
and be very quiet.

433
00:12:48,318 --> 00:12:50,078
Can I just say one thing?

434
00:12:50,114 --> 00:12:51,460
No, Gene.

435
00:12:51,494 --> 00:12:53,702
I think I have
the best legs in the family.

436
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:55,705
And the smoothest bottom.

437
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:57,086
Okay, no more talking.

438
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,846
Mom? Dad?Oh, my God.

439
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,296
I just wanted to let you know.

440
00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:01,677
I was the one
who didn't flush.

441
00:13:01,711 --> 00:13:02,816
It's okay, sweetheart.

442
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:03,990
That was impressive though.

443
00:13:04,024 --> 00:13:05,129
It looked just
like your father's.

444
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,440
That's what I was going for.

445
00:13:06,475 --> 00:13:08,476
Can everybody just
please stop talking?

446
00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,443
Now I know what
the Von Trapps felt like.

447
00:13:10,479 --> 00:13:11,618
Dad?What?

448
00:13:11,652 --> 00:13:13,378
Where do babies come from?

449
00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:15,621
You all come from
my vagina.

450
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:16,725
I knew it.

451
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,038
You owe me ten dollars, Tina.

452
00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:19,557
Everybody stop.

453
00:13:21,421 --> 00:13:23,284
He's right there.
He's right there.

454
00:13:23,318 --> 00:13:26,219
TINA: Can he see us?BOB: I don't know.

455
00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:31,293
[truck beeping]

456
00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:32,432
I think he's leaving.

457
00:13:38,369 --> 00:13:40,404
He's gone.
Yay!
All right.
Yes!

458
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,303
Nobody is saying it
so I'll just say it.

459
00:13:42,337 --> 00:13:44,168
I saved all of our lives.

460
00:13:44,201 --> 00:13:45,238
Merry Christmas.

461
00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:46,411
Come on, let's go home!

462
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:47,756
We're gonna...
time to do the tree.

463
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:48,861
Oh, no.

464
00:13:48,897 --> 00:13:50,484
No! No! No!What?

465
00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:51,692
What happened?
What happened?

466
00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:53,245
No, no, no, no, no!

467
00:13:53,279 --> 00:13:54,834
We're stuck.

468
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,870
Nobody's saying it
so I'll just say it.

469
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,491
Dad ruined Christmas.

470
00:13:58,527 --> 00:14:00,562
[humming a tune]

471
00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:01,875
It's like a disco.

472
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,774
[continues humming]

473
00:14:04,808 --> 00:14:06,984
[all groaning]It's working!

474
00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:08,881
Oh, God!

475
00:14:08,917 --> 00:14:12,057
Aah!Come on, come on, we can do it.

476
00:14:12,091 --> 00:14:13,092
We couldn't do it.

477
00:14:13,128 --> 00:14:14,197
I told you we should drive

478
00:14:14,231 --> 00:14:15,784
a motorcycle
with four side cars.

479
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,580
Then we would never be
in this mess!

480
00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:18,615
What are we gonna do, Bobby?

481
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,859
We got to get out of here.

482
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,721
I nominate Tina
to walk for help.

483
00:14:21,756 --> 00:14:23,552
Just to be nominated
is an honor.

484
00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:25,001
Don't worry.
We'll figure something out.

485
00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:27,176
We're not missing Christmas.
I promise.

486
00:14:27,211 --> 00:14:29,523
DJ:
Hey look at that,
it's just past midnight.

487
00:14:29,557 --> 00:14:30,903
Merry Christmas, everyone.

488
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:33,355
Merry Christmas, Radio DJ.

489
00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:34,908
Hey, no one's called in
for this one tonight,

490
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:36,392
but I'm playing it anyway.

491
00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:37,946
Here's "Jingle in the Jungle."

492
00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:40,293
Yay! Christmas miracle!

493
00:14:40,326 --> 00:14:42,432
BOB: I wasn't expecting
so much bongo.

494
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,572
I like it.

495
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,816
You know what?
Who needs a nice cozy,

496
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:48,438
warm, comfortable home?

497
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,441
We can have our own Christmas
right here in the car.

498
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:52,615
Yeah, until it runs out of gas
and we freeze to death.

499
00:14:52,649 --> 00:14:53,927
Yeah.

500
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,100
It's like we're
a family of cops,

501
00:14:55,134 --> 00:14:56,653
staking out that bush.

502
00:14:59,828 --> 00:15:01,970
That's a dumb place
to keep bowls.

503
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,626
LINDA: And all was right
with the world, and... Ah!

504
00:15:04,662 --> 00:15:07,836
Look what the wise men bought
from the auto parts store.

505
00:15:07,871 --> 00:15:09,631
Let's all sing "Silent Night."

506
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,945
[clears throat]

507
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:14,844
♪ Silent

508
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:17,605
♪ Night

509
00:15:17,639 --> 00:15:19,745
♪ Holy...

510
00:15:19,779 --> 00:15:21,471
Crap! Truck!

511
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,267
Bobby, we got
to get out of here!

512
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:25,648
It's still not working!

513
00:15:25,682 --> 00:15:26,960
Okay, everybody
just stay calm.

514
00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:28,961
We're safe here
in the car.

515
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,826
I have a plan-- let's
all get out of the car

516
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:32,102
and run in different
directions.

517
00:15:32,138 --> 00:15:33,621
He'll only catch
the slowest one.

518
00:15:33,655 --> 00:15:35,244
Gene, you're the slowest one!

519
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:37,280
Aah! I'm the slowest one!

520
00:15:37,315 --> 00:15:38,453
Kids, no, get back here!

521
00:15:40,559 --> 00:15:43,044
Maybe it's a different
candy cane truck?

522
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:47,774
BOB:
Oh, my God. This is it.
We're trapped.

523
00:15:47,807 --> 00:15:49,775
Kids, get in the car now.
Lock the doors.

524
00:15:49,809 --> 00:15:51,605
Everybody, stay calm.
I-I'll handle this.

525
00:15:51,639 --> 00:15:53,020
Oh, thank God.
Dad's on it.

526
00:15:53,054 --> 00:15:54,884
The handler's got it
covered, guys!

527
00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:55,989
Relax!

528
00:15:56,024 --> 00:15:57,472
Bob, be careful.

529
00:15:57,508 --> 00:15:58,991
Tell him you had asthma
when you were a boy.

530
00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:00,510
And you have bad
night vision.

531
00:16:01,304 --> 00:16:02,720
Listen, uh, sir.

532
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,169
Whatever it is you want,

533
00:16:04,203 --> 00:16:05,792
we're just trying
to get home for Christmas.

534
00:16:05,826 --> 00:16:07,345
Can we just talk this out?

535
00:16:10,831 --> 00:16:12,280
Oh, you look like that.

536
00:16:12,316 --> 00:16:13,662
Um, okay.

537
00:16:13,696 --> 00:16:16,354
Uh, you seem like a
small, reasonable guy.

538
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:18,390
If this is about earlier,
I'm sorry I cut you off.

539
00:16:18,424 --> 00:16:21,221
I don't want to point fingers,
but it was my kids' fault.

540
00:16:21,255 --> 00:16:23,153
Yeah, Dad. Great.
For Christmas I really wanted

541
00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:24,879
you to throw us
under the bus.

542
00:16:24,913 --> 00:16:27,469
Let's do this!
Me and you.

543
00:16:27,503 --> 00:16:29,159
It's go time! Aah!

544
00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:32,163
Just take my coat off.

545
00:16:32,197 --> 00:16:34,544
Fight me! [howls]

546
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,477
BOB [laughs]: N-No.I'll fight him, punk!

547
00:16:36,511 --> 00:16:38,203
Come on, punk!Lin, stay in the car.

548
00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:39,342
Listen, this is crazy.

549
00:16:39,376 --> 00:16:40,551
I mean, why are you so angry?

550
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:41,552
Just because I cut you off?

551
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,899
You also kept honking at me.

552
00:16:43,932 --> 00:16:44,865
Repeatedly.

553
00:16:44,899 --> 00:16:46,245
It was "Jingle Bells."

554
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,557
You don't know "Jingle Bells"?

555
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:49,836
[stammers]
Put 'em up, snowflake.

556
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:51,355
Oh, we're gonna dance.

557
00:16:51,389 --> 00:16:52,562
Are you shivering?

558
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:53,942
You should put
your jacket back on.

559
00:16:53,977 --> 00:16:56,255
Oh, I-I... I'm fine.
[shudders]

560
00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:57,567
Look, how about this?

561
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:58,672
My car is stuck in the snow.

562
00:16:58,706 --> 00:17:00,019
If you can...[shuddering]

563
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,192
You're really shivering.[whimpering]

564
00:17:02,227 --> 00:17:03,780
If you could
just help us pull it out

565
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,195
'cause you have a big truck...

566
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:06,714
I'm about to bang your ass

567
00:17:06,749 --> 00:17:08,786
and you're asking me for help?

568
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,028
"Bang my ass"?

569
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,512
Yeah, bang your ass!

570
00:17:11,547 --> 00:17:13,929
Okay, I mean, you mean... Okay.

571
00:17:13,962 --> 00:17:15,895
I-I've never heard it
said that way.

572
00:17:15,931 --> 00:17:18,070
What? Bang?You mean, beat me up.

573
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,244
You know, I think I meant kick.

574
00:17:19,278 --> 00:17:20,901
I'm pretty...
I think I meant kick.

575
00:17:20,935 --> 00:17:22,626
It was, like, halfway out
of my mouth and I went,

576
00:17:22,662 --> 00:17:24,353
"Ooh, that could be
taken the wrong way."

577
00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:25,768
Come on! Let's go!
Let's go!
Well, it...

578
00:17:25,803 --> 00:17:27,218
All right, I-I... Look.

579
00:17:27,252 --> 00:17:28,425
I'll tell you what,

580
00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:29,738
if you pull our car
out of the snow,

581
00:17:29,771 --> 00:17:30,739
I-I'll-I'll let you

582
00:17:30,772 --> 00:17:31,740
punch me in the stomach.

583
00:17:31,773 --> 00:17:32,981
Bobby! Psst.

584
00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:34,363
You're gonna let
this guy hit you?

585
00:17:34,397 --> 00:17:36,124
He's just a sad,
little guy, Lin.

586
00:17:36,157 --> 00:17:37,607
I-I don't think
it's gonna hurt.

587
00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:39,265
I'll just act
like it does.

588
00:17:39,298 --> 00:17:41,128
Do your girl scream.What girl scream?

589
00:17:41,163 --> 00:17:43,096
I think she means
your regular scream.

590
00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:44,407
And then do your girl walk.

591
00:17:44,442 --> 00:17:46,098
Girl walk?
I don't have a girl walk.

592
00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:47,134
Yeah, you do this like...

593
00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:49,136
[grunting]

594
00:17:49,171 --> 00:17:51,414
I don't do that.Mmm, agree to disagree.

595
00:17:51,449 --> 00:17:53,900
Look, I think this guy's having
a worse Christmas than us.

596
00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:55,833
He seems like
he really needs this.

597
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,663
Aw, that's the holiday
spirit, Bobby.

598
00:17:58,698 --> 00:18:00,009
[groans]

599
00:18:00,044 --> 00:18:01,838
So cold.

600
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,289
And crisp.

601
00:18:04,324 --> 00:18:06,499
I guess I'm near the crisper.

602
00:18:06,532 --> 00:18:08,121
I'm not gonna last
much longer...

603
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,123
Maybe I can get
to the knives on the counter.

604
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,573
I could cut my way out.

605
00:18:11,606 --> 00:18:13,506
Teddy, you got to try.

606
00:18:13,539 --> 00:18:15,094
[grunts]

607
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,923
Just pretend you're moving
a fridge for Bob.

608
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,582
So, Bobby,
you got a new fridge, huh?

609
00:18:20,615 --> 00:18:22,134
What else is new with you?

610
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:23,308
Uh-oh.

611
00:18:23,343 --> 00:18:25,241
No, no, no, no, no, no...
[groans]

612
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:28,347
Now I'm gonna die looking
at Gene's finger painting.

613
00:18:28,383 --> 00:18:30,143
What is that even
supposed to be?

614
00:18:30,178 --> 00:18:32,180
So, do we have a deal?

615
00:18:32,213 --> 00:18:33,940
I want to punch
your stupid face!

616
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:35,147
No, just the stomach.

617
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,184
How about I kick you
in the neck?

618
00:18:37,219 --> 00:18:38,634
Look, you get one punch
to the stomach,

619
00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:39,842
and then you get us out of here.

620
00:18:39,876 --> 00:18:41,603
Fine, but I need
to borrow your jacket.

621
00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:43,708
Look, let's just
get this over with.

622
00:18:43,742 --> 00:18:44,674
[yells]

623
00:18:49,368 --> 00:18:50,784
[sighs]

624
00:18:50,818 --> 00:18:53,373
Christmas is just
a really hard time for me.

625
00:18:53,407 --> 00:18:55,893
I wish I was with my family.

626
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,894
Aw, he's not with his family.

627
00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,896
Poor thing's all
alone on Christmas.

628
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:03,279
And then you cut me off,
and that was the last straw.

629
00:19:03,314 --> 00:19:05,661
That's why I wanted
to bang your butt.

630
00:19:05,695 --> 00:19:07,353
You... I thought we
agreed not to say that.

631
00:19:07,386 --> 00:19:08,663
All right.

632
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,734
Listen, I-I-I'm sorry
I cut you off.

633
00:19:10,769 --> 00:19:12,461
And I'm sorry you have
to work on Christmas.

634
00:19:12,496 --> 00:19:13,461
That's rough.

635
00:19:13,497 --> 00:19:14,876
[sighs]
Tell me about it.

636
00:19:14,912 --> 00:19:16,464
I have to drive
through the night to get

637
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,641
from a Christmas Eve parade
to a Christmas Day parade.

638
00:19:19,674 --> 00:19:21,193
Oh, that's an awful lot
of driving.

639
00:19:21,229 --> 00:19:22,747
And a lot of information.

640
00:19:22,781 --> 00:19:24,508
Sounds like you're having
a horrible Christmas.

641
00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:26,888
Great, we've bonded, can I
lick your truck now? Yum.

642
00:19:26,923 --> 00:19:29,512
Probably the crappiest
Christmas ever. [groans]

643
00:19:29,547 --> 00:19:32,585
Guess you just needed someone
to take out your frustration on.

644
00:19:32,618 --> 00:19:34,310
Exactly!

645
00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:36,313
I thought we'd worked past
the whole punching thing.

646
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,315
Nope. [whoops]
Boy that felt good.

647
00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,006
Man, I really needed that.

648
00:19:40,039 --> 00:19:41,352
Hi, my name's Gary.

649
00:19:41,386 --> 00:19:44,217
Hey, Gary. Bob.
You're pretty strong.

650
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,184
Now, let's see if we can get
you guys out of here, huh?

651
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,497
Hey, how do you know
if you have internal bleeding?

652
00:19:48,531 --> 00:19:50,016
I can tell.
I can tell.

653
00:19:50,049 --> 00:19:51,949
Let me listen.
Let me listen.

654
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,261
All right! Here we go!

655
00:19:54,296 --> 00:19:55,401
Thanks, Gary!

656
00:19:55,434 --> 00:19:56,953
No problem.

657
00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:59,336
I'm gonna get back
into my, uh...

658
00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:01,269
prison on wheels now.
Okay!

659
00:20:01,303 --> 00:20:04,443
Aw, you just need a little
Christmas cheer in there.

660
00:20:04,479 --> 00:20:05,894
Bobby, give him the tree.

661
00:20:05,928 --> 00:20:08,103
What? No. The tree is
the whole reason we...

662
00:20:08,136 --> 00:20:09,241
Give him the tree!

663
00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:10,898
All right.That's so nice.

664
00:20:10,932 --> 00:20:11,900
Hey, come here.

665
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:13,211
You ever have a Dutch Baby?

666
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,144
Put that in your mouth.
Merry Christmas.

667
00:20:15,179 --> 00:20:17,457
This is really good.
You can't even taste the baby.

668
00:20:17,491 --> 00:20:18,769
Yeah.

669
00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:21,220
Oh, oh, God,
he's so hungry, look.

670
00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:23,704
[groaning]

671
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:25,395
We got him!

672
00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:27,950
Oh my God, Teddy!Teddy is Santa!

673
00:20:27,984 --> 00:20:30,229
I found the Christmas
card you didn't open.

674
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:31,539
It's right there
on the counter.

675
00:20:31,575 --> 00:20:33,127
Open the card
while I'm here.

676
00:20:33,162 --> 00:20:34,957
You'd rather me do that
than try and get the...

677
00:20:34,991 --> 00:20:36,959
Open the card, then you can
get the fridge off of me.

678
00:20:36,993 --> 00:20:39,444
Oh, well, anyway,
it's just a cat.

679
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:40,894
What does it say?

680
00:20:40,929 --> 00:20:43,310
It says "Meow-y Christmas."

681
00:20:43,345 --> 00:20:44,381
Yup, yeah.

682
00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:45,657
That's cute.

683
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:49,144
♪ Hoo, ha,
hoo, ha ♪

684
00:20:49,177 --> 00:20:52,905
[animal screeching]♪ Hoo, ha, hoo, ha

685
00:20:52,941 --> 00:20:56,840
♪ Jingle in the jungle,
hope you bringle me a bundle ♪

686
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:58,257
♪ Jingle on my tingle

687
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,396
♪ Santa,
bring my favorite thingles ♪

688
00:21:00,431 --> 00:21:01,846
♪ Some mittens for the monkeys

689
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:04,124
♪ But make sure
they're pretty funky ♪

690
00:21:04,159 --> 00:21:08,094
♪ Some leggings for the lion,
but remember he's size nine ♪

691
00:21:08,127 --> 00:21:11,855
♪ Frogs and gators
and monkeys immense ♪

692
00:21:11,891 --> 00:21:15,688
♪ Everybody jingle
to the jungle dance ♪

693
00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:17,792
♪ We have candles
and lights and jingle... ♪