1 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,934 [thunder rumbling] 2 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,588 LINDA: Happy Valentine's Day 3 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,111 to all my loves. 4 00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:26,547 Smooches. Everyone gets a smooch. 5 00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:27,896 [kissing sounds] 6 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,245 Oh, give Gene mine. 7 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,420 I'll take it. 8 00:00:30,594 --> 00:00:31,987 [kissing sounds] 9 00:00:32,161 --> 00:00:33,423 I hope a certain wife is ready to be romanced. 10 00:00:33,597 --> 00:00:35,295 Huh? Oh. 11 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,426 Oh, Bobby. 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,429 A pancake shaped like a heart. 13 00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:39,517 Wow. 14 00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:40,604 We got the rejects. 15 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:41,823 Mine looks like a moustache. 16 00:00:41,997 --> 00:00:43,478 Pancake rides, five cents. 17 00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,957 I can't see what mine looks like, but it feels 18 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,350 ear-shaped maybe? 19 00:00:47,524 --> 00:00:49,353 What you doing under the table, you silly? 20 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:52,573 Hiding. I-I mean I'm not here so I can't go to school. 21 00:00:52,747 --> 00:00:55,490 But it's Valentine's Day. You love Valentine's Day. 22 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:58,536 Until the St. Valentine's Day disaster last year.What? 23 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,017 I'm talking about Jimmy Jr.'s Valentine card. 24 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,585 Here, Tina. 25 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:08,938 "From"? 26 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,158 No...! 27 00:01:11,331 --> 00:01:13,551 My heart was murdered by the word "from." 28 00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:14,986 No one says "I from you." 29 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,510 I'm not going to school today. 30 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,207 If Tina's not going, I'm not going. 31 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,340 Scoot over. 32 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,515 Yeah, we made a pact. 33 00:01:20,688 --> 00:01:21,646 Everybody out from under there. 34 00:01:21,819 --> 00:01:22,691 You're all going to school. 35 00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:24,084 GENE: No. Yes. 36 00:01:24,257 --> 00:01:25,563 There's a lot of learning to do down here. 37 00:01:25,736 --> 00:01:26,781 What's under there? 38 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,436 Wouldn't you like to know? 39 00:01:28,609 --> 00:01:30,219 Come on, it's raining, I'll give you a ride. 40 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,527 ♪ Buckle it up, buckle it up ♪ 41 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:35,746 ♪ Buckle it up or you'll die. ♪ 42 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,662 So? I'd say I knocked it out of the park with your mother this year. 43 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:40,883 Mm, more like a swing and a miss. 44 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,798 Heart-shaped pancakes is just as bad as a "from." 45 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,539 No, it isn't. 46 00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:46,235 You do the same thing every year, Dad. 47 00:01:46,409 --> 00:01:47,890 You need to mix it up. Yeah. 48 00:01:48,063 --> 00:01:49,370 What? I mix it up. 49 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:50,718 I mean, I stick to a central theme, 50 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,372 hearts, but your mom loves them. 51 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,853 Yeah, she never gets tired of them. 52 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:55,897 Huh? 53 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,466 Mmm... 54 00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:02,513 Huh? Oh... 55 00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:04,688 Well? 56 00:02:04,862 --> 00:02:06,778 Mm... [groans] 57 00:02:06,951 --> 00:02:08,389 Hmm.Grow up, Dad. 58 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,390 Only kids get to make homemade gifts. 59 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,740 She deserves something nice this year. 60 00:02:11,913 --> 00:02:13,044 Mom's a real keeper. 61 00:02:13,219 --> 00:02:14,221 She's okay. 62 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:15,743 TEDDY: So, Lin, 63 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:17,223 did Bob make another last-minute 64 00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:18,442 heart-shaped thing this year? 65 00:02:18,615 --> 00:02:19,530 Flapjacks. 66 00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:20,531 Oh. Oh. 67 00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:22,098 Ah, it's all right. 68 00:02:22,271 --> 00:02:24,230 Valentine's Day isn't about valentines. 69 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,407 It's about two people being in love. 70 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,756 ♪ Two people ♪ 71 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,365 ♪ Together forever ♪ 72 00:02:29,539 --> 00:02:30,585 ♪ Security in life ♪ 73 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,760 ♪ And someone to love ya ♪ 74 00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:34,805 ♪ Instead of being all alone ♪ 75 00:02:34,979 --> 00:02:36,895 ♪ Such a lonely existence ♪ 76 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,200 ♪ I'd kill myself. ♪ 77 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,768 Tough song. 78 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:40,899 It's talking about us, Mort. 79 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,597 Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 80 00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,425 Going on about love when you guys don't... 81 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,252 Have any love... in the slightest? 82 00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:47,949 I just got a great idea. 83 00:02:48,123 --> 00:02:49,951 I'm gonna find love for both of you today. 84 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,954 We are gonna do speed dating. 85 00:02:52,127 --> 00:02:54,086 All right. I could go for that. I'm in. 86 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,436 I'll make a sign. 87 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,133 Oh, this is gonna be fun. 88 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:02,573 Okay, so what do you think your mom wants? Chocolates? Perfume? 89 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,139 We don't think what Mom wants. 90 00:03:04,313 --> 00:03:06,055 We know what Mom wants. 91 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,274 Great, what does she want? 92 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,796 A Grazielda figurine. 93 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,799 Oh, yeah, those porcelain thingies. 94 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:12,931 Okay, I'll-I'll get one of those. Thanks. 95 00:03:13,104 --> 00:03:14,411 All right, have a good day, kids. 96 00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,108 Dad, there are hundreds of Grazieldas, 97 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,806 thousands maybe. 98 00:03:17,979 --> 00:03:20,025 Taking our jobs, marrying our women. 99 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,115 Only we know the exact one Mom wants. 100 00:03:23,289 --> 00:03:26,293 Yeah, if you pick the wrong one, it's like you got her nothing! 101 00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:28,120 Okay, so tell me-- which one is it? 102 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,687 We'll tell you... at the mall. 103 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,122 Yeah, we should go to the mall. 104 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,125 My heart will be safe from Jimmy Jr. there. 105 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,475 Hey, I'm not taking you out of school to go to the mall. 106 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,651 Okay, well, you know, it's your marriage. 107 00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:37,868 [knock on window] 108 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:38,826 You're holding up the line. 109 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,132 Hold on, one minute. 110 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,308 Hmm, I could stand to wow her. 111 00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,658 [horns honking]Then wow the woman. 112 00:03:44,832 --> 00:03:46,269 Stop, I'm... wait!Come on, move it! 113 00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:48,009 You move it! 114 00:03:48,183 --> 00:03:49,837 I'm saying good-bye to my kids! [groans] 115 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,534 You're sure you know?I know. 116 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,841 All right, we're going to the mall then! 117 00:03:54,015 --> 00:03:55,103 [whoops] To the mall!Yeah! 118 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,323 Okay. 119 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,498 Eat it, you losers! 120 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,501 ♪ Buckle it up, buckle it up ♪ 121 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,633 ♪ Buckle it up or you'll die. ♪ 122 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:08,335 Okay, we go in, you tell me which one to buy, 123 00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,987 I get you back to school by 10:00, 124 00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:12,817 and you can tell your teachers, um, you had, uh... 125 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:14,036 A dyslexic episode! 126 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,167 Pregnancy.BOB: Hmm. 127 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,298 Shingles. 128 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:17,648 Uh, yeah, that's good, fine. 129 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,867 BOB: Wow, these are all so corny. 130 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,696 LOUISE: What's so corny about a puppy under an umbrella? 131 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,218 [Bob groans] 132 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,742 All right, so which one does your mom want? 133 00:04:24,915 --> 00:04:25,874 That one! That one! 134 00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,178 That one? That one. 135 00:04:27,353 --> 00:04:28,790 Wait a second, you have no clue 136 00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:30,356 which one your mom wants-- you just tricked me 137 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,533 to get out of school.How dare you! 138 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,882 I believed them, too, Dad. Egg on our face, huh? 139 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,231 Let me guess-- looking for a Grazielda 140 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,711 for your lovely wife? 141 00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:40,235 Yeah, so which one is the least expensive? 142 00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:43,673 Oh, this is kind of our starter figurine-- La Princessa. 143 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,415 She's $250. 144 00:04:45,588 --> 00:04:47,024 What? That's your cheapest? 145 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,071 I don't like that word. 146 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:52,074 Perhaps you nor your wife are really serious about Grazieldas. 147 00:04:52,247 --> 00:04:53,553 No, we're not. 148 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,077 Who would be serious about these things? 149 00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,774 Bill Belichick, Peter Frampton, 150 00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,776 Linda Lavin to name a few. 151 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:02,257 Kids, we're leaving. 152 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:06,783 Welcome, ladies, to Bob's Burgers' Speed Dating. 153 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,959 You'll have one minute with these fine gentlemen, 154 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,745 and when you hear this-- 155 00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:12,572 Kank-kank-- switch partners. 156 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,358 But if you hear this-- cra-cra-crank-- 157 00:05:15,531 --> 00:05:17,141 change topics. 158 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,187 And who's ready to fall in love? 159 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,059 [watch beeps]Speed date. 160 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,584 So, Teddy, this is Gina. 161 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,889 You two are now in pre-love. We are? 162 00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:28,110 Well, you got 60 seconds to figure it out. 163 00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:29,110 So, tick-tock, let's go. 164 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,417 Uh, I'm Teddy, 165 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,069 like Linda said earlier. 166 00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,245 Um, what do we talk about? 167 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,769 Uh, I don't know.What do we talk about? 168 00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:38,250 I want to lick this one like an envelope, mmm. 169 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,817 Great, mail jokes. 170 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:42,776 [laughs] Oh, you're a mailman. 171 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,952 Kids, how about this cell phone cover? 172 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,606 It says, "Got Milf." 173 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,826 That's perfect, right? For your mom? 174 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,262 I'll get this and then I'll bring you kids back to school. 175 00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,134 School? Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 176 00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:54,658 Dad, you need to wow her. 177 00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:56,659 This is not gonna wow her. 178 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,182 I thought you were done half-assing it, Dad. 179 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,793 Why can't you be more romantic? 180 00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,142 What? I'm plenty romantic. 181 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,971 Very funny. Stop goofing. 182 00:06:03,144 --> 00:06:05,408 What was the most romantic thing you ever did for Mom? 183 00:06:05,581 --> 00:06:06,930 I don't know, I planned stuff. 184 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,281 I planned a whole romantic day one time. 185 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:10,935 It was her birthday... 186 00:06:11,108 --> 00:06:12,807 No, wait, it was my birthday... 187 00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:14,548 No, no, no, wait, it was Valentine's Day. 188 00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:16,375 It was our first Valentine's Day together. 189 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,028 GENE: You are the worst storyteller. 190 00:06:18,202 --> 00:06:20,858 Where's Maya Angelou when you need him? 191 00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:22,817 BOB: Yeah, I made a picnic basket and I picked out a spot 192 00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:24,862 to watch the sunset, and then my car died. 193 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,908 So we had to get towed to the mechanic's. 194 00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:30,824 Tell me exactly what was wrong with the car. Was it a gasket? 195 00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,913 Was it the carburetor? 196 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,959 TINA: Guys, he's telling us a romantic story. 197 00:06:35,132 --> 00:06:36,526 BOB: While the car was getting fixed, 198 00:06:36,699 --> 00:06:38,180 we went to a bar across the street. 199 00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:40,312 It wasn't the beach at sunset, 200 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,271 but we, uh, we had a great time.TINA: Aw. 201 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:45,360 And there was this old beat-up machine, like a love tester 202 00:06:45,534 --> 00:06:47,449 or something, and we squeezed the lever together, 203 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:48,973 and it said we were "red hot." 204 00:06:49,146 --> 00:06:51,019 And she kissed me and 205 00:06:51,192 --> 00:06:53,803 that's, uh, that's when I knew we were in love. 206 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,718 That's it. Buy Mom the love tester. 207 00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,372 What do you mean, the actual machine? 208 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,853 Yeah, she'd totally marry you if you did that. 209 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,985 Dad, do you remember where that bar is? 210 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,552 Will it take all day to find it? 211 00:07:03,726 --> 00:07:05,685 Hmm, I do think I remember where it is. 212 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,209 Oh, really? We've got a mission. 213 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,689 The most noble mission there is-- 214 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:10,951 a love mission. 215 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,562 It's a missionary position mission. 216 00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:14,259 Yeah, she'd really like that. 217 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,000 Probably get it for, like, 50 bucks, tops. 218 00:07:16,173 --> 00:07:17,262 All right, I'll drop you off at school 219 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,872 and then I'll go to the dive bar. 220 00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:20,177 That's crazy. 221 00:07:20,351 --> 00:07:21,875 School is way out of the way. 222 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,572 They're doing construction on that one street, 223 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,182 it's raining-- what a clusterjam. 224 00:07:25,356 --> 00:07:26,923 We should go with you, Dad. 225 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,360 All right, you can come, but then right back to... 226 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,406 Uh-uh-uh, not another word about school. 227 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,060 To the dive bar! 228 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,365 Next dating game... 229 00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,237 speed hand holding. 230 00:07:36,411 --> 00:07:37,326 [watch beeps]And... hold hands. 231 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,326 Kank-kank! 232 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,415 [grunting] 233 00:07:39,588 --> 00:07:40,894 Teddy, Teddy, 234 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,069 you're gonna hurt her. 235 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,766 You're not trying to crush her. 236 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,334 What? I don't mind it rough. 237 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,292 Very good, Mort. 238 00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:48,771 You are as limp as can be. 239 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,860 Limp and clammy, my signature hold. 240 00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:51,906 [door opens, bell jingles] 241 00:07:52,079 --> 00:07:53,560 Sergeant Bosco! 242 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,170 What are you doing here? 243 00:07:55,343 --> 00:07:57,302 Someone just robbed a jewelry store on Front Street. 244 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:58,564 He fled on foot in this direction 245 00:07:58,738 --> 00:07:59,956 so we're going door-to-door. 246 00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:01,785 Oh.All we know is he's 247 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,658 five-ten to six-feet tall with an athletic build. 248 00:08:04,831 --> 00:08:06,442 Eh, none of you guys fit that description. 249 00:08:06,615 --> 00:08:08,966 Wow, that's harsh. Hey. A few years ago. 250 00:08:09,139 --> 00:08:10,750 Bosco, I couldn't help notice you don't have a wedding ring. 251 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:13,927 Did the guy steal that, too?No, I chucked it into a ravine 252 00:08:14,101 --> 00:08:15,798 after my divorce went through.Oh. 253 00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,105 OFFICER [over radio]: 500 block is negative. 254 00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,105 Well, keep looking! 255 00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:19,411 Damn, we had him, 256 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:20,543 and then we lost him. 257 00:08:20,716 --> 00:08:22,153 Talking to me, Bosco?No! 258 00:08:22,326 --> 00:08:25,069 Maybe don't leave your thumb on the button? 259 00:08:25,242 --> 00:08:27,507 Eh, what's going on in here?Speed dating. 260 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,725 Ladies, I think we've got a new contestant. 261 00:08:29,899 --> 00:08:31,771 No, no, if I wanted to feel like 262 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,600 a loser, I'd just call my kids. 263 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,601 But this is Bob's Burgers' Speed Dating. 264 00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:37,778 Ladies and cops eat free. 265 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,388 All right, you got five minutes. 266 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,389 Okay, couple up, clank-clank! 267 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,524 How can I help you?Yeah, I was here 268 00:08:45,698 --> 00:08:47,701 about 15 years ago and I-I played 269 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,789 this old timey-looking love tester thing. 270 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,225 Do you still have it? 271 00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:53,315 You mean Dr. Love's Love Testometer? 272 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,490 Yeah, that's it.He knows it. Hooray. 273 00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:57,318 Eh, the owner sold it a few years ago. 274 00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:58,625 Oh, man. 275 00:08:58,798 --> 00:09:00,669 Do you know who he sold it to? 276 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,236 Nah, no clue, sorry. 277 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:03,629 I know where it is. 278 00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:04,934 Hugo! Bob. 279 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:05,980 Bob. Ron. 280 00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:07,458 Hugo.Yes, what? 281 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,418 Oh. You know where the love testometer 282 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:10,985 that used to be here is? 283 00:09:11,158 --> 00:09:13,116 I do. In fact, later today I'm inspecting 284 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,510 the establishment where it's currently testometering. 285 00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:18,034 That's great.I think you should invest in new soap 286 00:09:18,208 --> 00:09:20,995 for your bathroom before you purchase vintage amusements. 287 00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:23,432 You think soap's the problem with our bathroom? 288 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,999 But it's not for the restaurant. 289 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:26,522 It's my Valentine's Day gift for Linda. 290 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,697 Oops, I just forgot where it is. 291 00:09:28,871 --> 00:09:29,873 Oh, come on. 292 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,308 I'm not helping you buy Linda 293 00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:32,875 a romantic Valentine's gift. 294 00:09:33,049 --> 00:09:34,661 Maybe you should tell him, Hugo. 295 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,706 Maybe I don't want to hear it, Ron. All right. 296 00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:38,490 You're such a jerk, Hugo, you know that? 297 00:09:38,664 --> 00:09:41,144 There are 97 bars and restaurants 298 00:09:41,318 --> 00:09:43,191 in my expansive jurisdiction. 299 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,975 Good luck finding it, Bob. 300 00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,499 [laughs] 301 00:09:47,673 --> 00:09:49,500 BOB [sighs]: Back to the mall, I guess. 302 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,415 Don't take this lying down, Dad. 303 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,767 But Hugo won't tell us where the testometer is. 304 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,203 He said he's inspecting the place today. 305 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:59,336 So, okay, so what day is it? 306 00:09:59,510 --> 00:10:00,424 It's today. Right. 307 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,078 So you have to follow him. 308 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,298 Yes!It's Valentine's Day, damn it. 309 00:10:04,472 --> 00:10:06,388 You're right. He'll lead us right to the love testometer. 310 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:07,868 Let's ride. Hyah! 311 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,652 [whoops]But let's get a hot chocolate 312 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,174 or something first. 313 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:12,350 It's all rainy out.Great idea, Eugene. 314 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,134 Whoo-hoo. Mm-hmm. 315 00:10:17,528 --> 00:10:19,269 TINA [groaning]: You're too close! 316 00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:21,097 He'll see us.I know what I'm doing. 317 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,577 I've got a buffer car. 318 00:10:22,751 --> 00:10:24,187 You're gonna lead us right to the testometer. 319 00:10:24,361 --> 00:10:26,234 And... we lost him. 320 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:27,844 We didn't lose him, we'll catch up. 321 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,062 I can still see him. 322 00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:30,238 GENE: Look, he's turning. 323 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,543 No, no, no, don't turn. 324 00:10:31,717 --> 00:10:33,370 All right, uh... 325 00:10:33,544 --> 00:10:36,765 Let's see if I can safely go through this red light. 326 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,028 We're losing him. Drive! It's safe! It's safe! 327 00:10:39,202 --> 00:10:40,552 [horn blaring]BOB: Oh, sorry. 328 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:42,076 Sorr... I'll go. 329 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,556 [car horn beeps]I'll go... Stop! 330 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:47,908 [truck horn blares]Okay! I'm in the FBI. 331 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,432 It's, uh, uh... it's official business! 332 00:10:50,605 --> 00:10:52,042 S-Sorry.[horns honking] 333 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,522 Kank-kank. All right, new game. 334 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,524 Everyone say your favorite food. 335 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,611 [watch beeps] Go. 336 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,134 Soy sauce.Wax lips? 337 00:10:58,308 --> 00:10:59,788 Plain white rice.Fried green tomatoes. 338 00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:01,878 Favorite love-making position. Go! 339 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,400 The Fried Green Tomato. 340 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:04,880 The Pick n' Roll.The Broken Sprinkler. 341 00:11:05,054 --> 00:11:06,666 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.The Sticky Wicket. 342 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,318 No, no, no. Getting people to say their favorite things 343 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:09,755 isn't gonna work. 344 00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:11,801 Sure it is. If you like the same food 345 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,498 or sex angles, you're compatible. 346 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,456 I'd do the exact opposite. 347 00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:17,937 I'd make everyone say the worst thing about themselves, 348 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,635 the most embarrassing, darkest secret. 349 00:11:20,809 --> 00:11:23,943 If the other person can stomach you for another second, 350 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:26,816 then maybe you have a chance together, maybe. 351 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:30,124 What? That is the least romantic...I want to do it. 352 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,428 Let's do it.I'm game. 353 00:11:31,602 --> 00:11:32,952 No.I'll go first. 354 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,432 Hi there. I'm part of a secret society. 355 00:11:34,605 --> 00:11:36,086 We hunt men for sport. 356 00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:38,784 Hello. I've had a yeast infection for ten years. 357 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,961 Stop. Oh, Gina, no. [gags] 358 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,441 Sometimes I just put the mail down the storm drain. 359 00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,312 I knew it. I knew it.Yeah, there you go. 360 00:11:45,486 --> 00:11:47,140 I called in a bomb threat once 361 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,186 'cause I heard Mark Harmon was staying at this hotel. 362 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,448 I wanted to see him evacuate, and then I stalked him 363 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,147 for a year and hit his wife with my car. 364 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,538 No, stop it. 365 00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:55,975 Saying icky stuff about yourselves 366 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,673 isn't what Valentine's Day is about. 367 00:11:57,846 --> 00:11:59,806 Now, stop it.Well, it's what love's about. 368 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,504 And if you women can handle my baggage, 369 00:12:02,677 --> 00:12:04,854 then you can fly with me, but bring a sick bag, 370 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,595 'cause it's gonna be a real bumpy ride. 371 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,118 Clean-up, aisle my panties. 372 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,293 No. 373 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,736 Psst, over here. Huh? 374 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,302 Hey, do you have a coin-operated machine 375 00:12:19,476 --> 00:12:20,870 in there that predicts love? 376 00:12:21,043 --> 00:12:22,437 Can't I just take out the trash 377 00:12:22,610 --> 00:12:24,351 one time without getting hit on by some perv? 378 00:12:24,525 --> 00:12:27,049 He may be a perv, but that's my dad. 379 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,878 Hugo's gonna take forever. 380 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,923 We wouldn't have to wait for Hugo to lead us 381 00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:33,840 to the next place if we found out where he's going. 382 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,671 It's locked. 383 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:40,976 But the window's open a crack. 384 00:12:41,150 --> 00:12:42,892 Maybe we can find a hanger or... 385 00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,240 Hangers are for Sunday school clothes. 386 00:12:44,414 --> 00:12:45,590 Bring me a rock. 387 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,157 We're not smashing the window. 388 00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:48,592 It'll look like the rain did it. 389 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,899 Do it. Get that clipboard. 390 00:12:50,072 --> 00:12:52,032 Gene, stop. RON: Uh, thanks. 391 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,423 Hugo would have blamed me for that. 392 00:12:53,597 --> 00:12:54,860 Oh, hey. Hi, Ron. This is... 393 00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:56,557 Ron, what are you doing here?Hey! 394 00:12:56,731 --> 00:12:58,081 This is not my van.We were just gonna 395 00:12:58,254 --> 00:12:59,995 get some ice cream from this truck here. 396 00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,562 We're just getting the clipboard. 397 00:13:01,736 --> 00:13:04,000 Listen, Hugo's wrong not to help you out. 398 00:13:04,173 --> 00:13:05,784 I don't know which place has the testometer, 399 00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:07,437 but, uh, this is where we're going today. 400 00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:08,961 Hey, thanks, Ron. 401 00:13:09,135 --> 00:13:10,398 You know, we'll check those places out. 402 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,746 You're a good guy to help us. 403 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:12,879 You're a great guy. 404 00:13:13,052 --> 00:13:14,576 I look up to you, man. Oh. 405 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,230 I wouldn't mind having a friend like you. 406 00:13:16,403 --> 00:13:17,840 Okay, let's go, kids. Thanks again, Ron. 407 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,058 See you. 408 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,625 ♪ Falafel ♪ 409 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:23,105 ♪ We're on a love mission ♪ 410 00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:24,890 ♪ Pizza ♪ 411 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,414 ♪ We're on a love mission ♪ 412 00:13:27,588 --> 00:13:28,937 ♪ All the rest ♪ 413 00:13:29,111 --> 00:13:31,114 ♪ We're on a love mission. ♪ 414 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,595 Kids, uh, stay outside. 415 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:34,943 Excuse me, sir, do you have 416 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,816 something called the love testometer? 417 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,643 I got your love testometer right here, pal. 418 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,907 That goes in the buttbank. 419 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,299 GENE: Yah! 420 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,649 Yah! Hyah! 421 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,565 Well, this is the last place on the list. 422 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:48,914 It better be here. 423 00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:51,481 I'll have a seven and seven. 424 00:13:51,655 --> 00:13:53,092 No! Make it an eight and eight. 425 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,268 Make mine a double, would you? 426 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:55,878 A 16 and 16, thank you. 427 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,226 I'm good with water. 428 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,316 No, wait. Um, yeah, just water. 429 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,797 Kids, please. Look, I-I've been driving all over, 430 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,147 trying to find my wife this Valentine's gift, 431 00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:05,495 and you're my last hope. 432 00:14:05,669 --> 00:14:06,975 Everybody loves these tiny umbrellas. 433 00:14:07,149 --> 00:14:08,412 How many does she want? 434 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,936 No, no, no. I'm actually looking 435 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,937 for Dr. Love's Love Testometer. 436 00:14:12,111 --> 00:14:13,940 Please say you have it; I want to buy it from you. 437 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,462 You want to buy my love testometer? 438 00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:16,725 You-you actually have it? 439 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,422 Yeah, it's right over there. 440 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,379 It's exactly as I remembered. 441 00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:21,643 It's beautiful. 442 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,297 I'd love to sell it to you.Great! 443 00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:24,775 But I can't, I already sold it. 444 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,125 Hello, Bob. 445 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:29,042 Lookie what I just boughtie. 446 00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:34,568 Odd bumping into you here, Bob. 447 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:35,961 Oh, wait. No, it's not. 448 00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:37,485 I knew you were coming, thanks to 449 00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:40,052 Mr. Opens-the-van-for-anyone over here. 450 00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:42,142 Hugo noticed the missing carbon copy from the clipboard. 451 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,057 Nerd. 452 00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:46,320 Now Ron's not allowed to ride up front with me in the van. 453 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:47,755 Come on, Dad, 454 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,192 you need to get that testometer for Mom. 455 00:14:49,365 --> 00:14:50,366 I'm starting to disappear. 456 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:52,065 How much did he pay for that? 457 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,370 A hundred bucks for that junk.[sighs] All right. 458 00:14:54,544 --> 00:14:57,504 Hugo, please sell me the love testometer.Uh, no. 459 00:14:57,678 --> 00:14:59,681 Hugo, this isn't about me and you. 460 00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:01,335 This is about giving a woman a gift 461 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,684 to make up for years of-of... 462 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:06,340 Crap?Well, not quite crap, Tina. 463 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,863 Last-minute nothings?Crap. 464 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,342 Listen, Hugo, please sell it to me. 465 00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:10,692 Linda deserves it. 466 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,003 Okay, Bob, I will sell it to you. 467 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,351 For $500. 468 00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:19,961 But you only paid $100. 469 00:15:20,135 --> 00:15:21,572 $500? Is that thing magic? 470 00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:22,703 You want it or not, Bob? 471 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,226 Of course he wants it. 472 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,706 It's just his money's all tied up 473 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,056 in real estate right now so... 474 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,275 Do you take fake credit cards? 475 00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:32,495 All right, fine. 476 00:15:32,669 --> 00:15:34,542 Another thing about me, I'm hooked on pills. 477 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,586 The bad kind that make you feel good. 478 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,894 I like to play with a yo-yo, so something comes back to me. 479 00:15:40,068 --> 00:15:41,548 People, enough with the confessions. 480 00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:42,942 You should know that 481 00:15:43,115 --> 00:15:45,161 there's hardwood under this carpet. 482 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,509 Yeah, there you go. 483 00:15:46,683 --> 00:15:48,730 Stop, Mort, keep that carpet on. 484 00:15:48,903 --> 00:15:50,557 Damn it, Sergeant Bosco. 485 00:15:50,731 --> 00:15:53,255 You're infecting everyone with your poison. 486 00:15:53,429 --> 00:15:55,736 Don't you have a jewelry store thief to catch or something? 487 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,913 That's why I have one of these; it's called a radio. 488 00:15:58,086 --> 00:15:59,783 And one of these; it's called a gun. 489 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,394 Yeah, well, what you don't have 490 00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:02,744 is one of these. 491 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,745 [imitates heartbeat] A heart. 492 00:16:04,919 --> 00:16:06,225 Mmm. Ugh. 493 00:16:08,096 --> 00:16:10,273 Pleasure doing business with you, Bob. 494 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,754 Wow. Now you won't have to get Mom another gift for 30 years. 495 00:16:12,927 --> 00:16:14,711 Yup. This is the best present ever, 496 00:16:14,885 --> 00:16:16,626 a living memory. 497 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,933 Your Mom and I even carved our initials on the side. See? 498 00:16:19,107 --> 00:16:21,023 Who's "BB"?Bob Belcher. 499 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,243 No, who's the other "BB"? 500 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,679 Uh, what other... 501 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:26,898 Oh, God. 502 00:16:27,072 --> 00:16:30,119 [rock music playing] 503 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,426 This is fun. What? 504 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,167 Barbara Bunkley! 505 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,778 Oh, how could I have forgotten that Valentine's Day was 506 00:16:36,951 --> 00:16:38,084 with Barbara Bunkley? 507 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,042 Who is Barbara Bunkley? 508 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,304 What was I thinking? Barbara Bunkley! 509 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,480 Will someone please tell me who Barbara Bunkley is?! 510 00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:46,918 I'm guessing it's our real mom. 511 00:16:47,092 --> 00:16:49,095 And she's beautiful and sporty. 512 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,486 She was my girlfriend 513 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,097 the year before I met your mother. 514 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,794 I can't believe that. 515 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,971 The date I'm remembering wasn't with your mom. 516 00:16:57,145 --> 00:16:58,278 [laughing] What a moron! 517 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,149 So this love mission was a sham? 518 00:17:00,322 --> 00:17:01,802 Hugo, I don't want it anymore. 519 00:17:01,976 --> 00:17:03,109 Take this stupid thing back. 520 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,633 Oh, no, Bob, no refunds. 521 00:17:08,809 --> 00:17:10,376 Okay, okay, there we go. 522 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:12,640 I guess we're a little short on women, huh? 523 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,121 Yeah, yeah, work those nubs. 524 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:16,644 Ooh, that's it, right there. 525 00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:17,905 Another hard truth about me... 526 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,342 Oh, you stupid... 527 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:20,691 I pepper-sprayed my barber, 528 00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,171 but I mean, look at this. 529 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,172 [angry muttering] 530 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:24,520 Here it goes. 531 00:17:24,694 --> 00:17:26,174 I dress up as Santa every night. 532 00:17:26,348 --> 00:17:27,828 It's the only way I can go to sleep. 533 00:17:28,002 --> 00:17:30,440 Uh... What, Miss ten-year yeast infection. 534 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,834 See a doctor, why don't you? 535 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,096 [angry muttering] 536 00:17:34,269 --> 00:17:35,663 I have a prison pen pal. 537 00:17:35,836 --> 00:17:36,968 He thinks my name is Michelle. 538 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,317 Technically he's my fiancé. 539 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,624 I also ran over Vinny Testaverde's wife. 540 00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,365 Oh, that's it! 541 00:17:43,539 --> 00:17:46,804 Everyone needs to stop listening to this cruddy duddy right now! 542 00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,806 Kank-kank-kank. 543 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,373 Too bad, Linda, you just 544 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,157 don't know anything about dating. 545 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:53,810 Yes, I do. 546 00:17:53,984 --> 00:17:56,030 Then why is everyone listening to me? They're not. 547 00:17:56,204 --> 00:17:57,989 They are.Oh, yeah, well, without this... 548 00:17:58,163 --> 00:17:59,861 [gasping]Whoa! 549 00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:02,037 ...no one's gonna listen to you anymore, tough guy. 550 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:05,039 Yeppity-do, da-da-da. Sha-ba-da-ba-bum. 551 00:18:05,213 --> 00:18:08,347 Uh, Lin, I don't think you can take a police officer's gun. 552 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,175 Sure I can. I just did. Look. 553 00:18:10,349 --> 00:18:11,567 No, I mean, by law. 554 00:18:11,741 --> 00:18:14,657 Do you have any idea what you've just done? 555 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,224 No. Kind of. 556 00:18:16,398 --> 00:18:17,530 Is it bad? 557 00:18:17,704 --> 00:18:18,792 You're under arrest. 558 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,185 [groans] 559 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,230 Oof, oof, tight. 560 00:18:21,403 --> 00:18:22,578 Too tight. 561 00:18:22,752 --> 00:18:24,493 Shush. One size fits all. Shut up. 562 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,844 What's going on?Mommy's getting arrested. 563 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,368 What? Whoa-ho-ho, I thought Dad blew it. 564 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,153 Yeah, well, Mommy blew it real bad here today. 565 00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:33,894 She blew it. Oh.What's going on 566 00:18:34,068 --> 00:18:35,853 is taking an officer's sidearm is a felony. 567 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,681 Whoa, Mom, you took his gun? 568 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,204 She sure did, Louise. 569 00:18:39,378 --> 00:18:41,423 I just wanted to get control of speed dating. 570 00:18:41,597 --> 00:18:44,165 That does not seem like a thing you would need a gun for. 571 00:18:44,339 --> 00:18:45,906 Where have you been, Bobby? 572 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,343 We spent all day helping Dad 573 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:48,778 get you the perfect Valentine's gift. 574 00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:50,693 All day? You kids weren't at school? 575 00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:52,260 Dad sprung us. 576 00:18:52,434 --> 00:18:54,133 I wanted to do something special for you today. 577 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:56,395 We... we went all over town trying to find this thing 578 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,136 from our first Valentine's Day together. 579 00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,876 Dad ran a red light.We went to Chinatown. 580 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,530 And Pickles. Pickles? 581 00:19:01,704 --> 00:19:03,445 And I spent $500 on it, 582 00:19:03,619 --> 00:19:05,622 but it wasn't from our first Valentine's Day together. 583 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:08,103 It was from a Valentine's Day I spent with Barbara Bunkley. 584 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,712 I remembered it wrong. 585 00:19:09,886 --> 00:19:11,366 I'm so sorry, I'm... I'm an idiot. 586 00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:13,064 So you're telling me 587 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,806 you let the kids play hooky to run all over town 588 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,939 to hunt down some expensive thing you remembered 589 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:19,506 from a date we didn't even go on? 590 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,594 Yes. 591 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,290 That... is... 592 00:19:22,464 --> 00:19:24,945 so romantic! 593 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,643 Aw. Aw. 594 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,557 What?Oh, Bobby! 595 00:19:28,731 --> 00:19:30,298 You went through all that trouble for me. 596 00:19:30,472 --> 00:19:32,258 This is the best Valentine's Day ever. 597 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:33,519 Ever! 598 00:19:33,693 --> 00:19:35,130 [radio beeps]Give me that. 599 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,132 So you came here for speed dating? 600 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,567 No. A jewelry store got robbed. 601 00:19:38,741 --> 00:19:40,134 The suspect was spotted in the area. 602 00:19:40,308 --> 00:19:41,832 But you stayed for speed dating? Yeah. 603 00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:44,617 You must be hard up for chicks. Yup. 604 00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:46,750 I'm sorry I'm getting arrested on Valentine's Day. 605 00:19:46,923 --> 00:19:48,098 Come here. 606 00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:49,623 [kissing sounds]Ow. Ow. 607 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,145 So, uh... what, 608 00:19:51,319 --> 00:19:53,147 I'll-I'll follow you two down to the station? 609 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,150 Yep. This little lady is going right to... 610 00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,630 [static crackles]Shh! Shh! Wait! Shut up! Shut up! 611 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,326 OFFICER [over radio]: Be advised. 612 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,373 Jewelry store suspect spotted at 15th and Grand. 613 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,201 All right, I'm on my way. You, follow me. 614 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,636 Well, I guess it's your lucky day. 615 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:05,813 You talking to me?No, for God's sake. 616 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,292 I'll show you how to use the radio 617 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,597 when you get back to the station. 618 00:20:08,771 --> 00:20:09,946 Oh! 619 00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:11,818 It's so easy to call in a false tip. 620 00:20:11,992 --> 00:20:13,646 Those streets don't even intersect. 621 00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:15,170 Hi, Tina. 622 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,127 Hi, Jimmy, Jr.You weren't at school today, 623 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:18,346 so I brought you your homework. 624 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,307 Thanks.And a Valentine's card. 625 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,092 [groaning] 626 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,962 Aren't you gonna open it? 627 00:20:27,529 --> 00:20:29,315 "Heart" 628 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,142 not "from." Yes. 629 00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:33,188 So, see you at school tomorrow. 630 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,929 I'd really "heart" that. 631 00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:36,191 Uh, what? 632 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:37,497 I'd really "hea..." 633 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:38,976 I got to get going.Yeah, me, too. 634 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,500 So, that, uh, stuff you said earlier, 635 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,414 that's the worst about you? 636 00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:44,503 Yup. That's it. Oh, except for one time... 637 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:45,895 Oh, oh, oh! Don't say it. 638 00:20:46,069 --> 00:20:47,549 Here's my number.[shuttering moan] 639 00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:48,898 Hey, I made a match! 640 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,205 I bet I screw this up. 641 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,338 LINDA: Kank-kank-kank. 642 00:20:55,992 --> 00:20:57,080 ♪ ♪ 643 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,082 LINDA: ♪ Two people ♪ 644 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,474 ♪ Together forever ♪ 645 00:20:59,648 --> 00:21:01,041 ♪ Security in life ♪ 646 00:21:01,215 --> 00:21:02,869 ♪ And someone to love ya ♪ 647 00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:05,263 ♪ Instead of being all alone ♪ 648 00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,308 ♪ Such a lonely existence ♪ 649 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:14,882 ♪ Two people ♪ 650 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,536 ♪ Together forever ♪ 651 00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:17,753 ♪ Security in life ♪ 652 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,712 ♪ And someone to love ya ♪ 653 00:21:19,886 --> 00:21:22,192 ♪ Instead of being all alone ♪ 654 00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:23,933 ♪ Such a lonely existence ♪ 655 00:21:24,107 --> 00:21:25,848 ♪ I'd kill myself. ♪ 656 00:21:26,022 --> 00:21:27,721 Tough song. It's talking about us, Mort. 657 00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:28,852 [Linda scoffs]