1
00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:24,458
Faster, faster,
you beast!

2
00:00:24,632 --> 00:00:26,417
This is as fast
as it goes, Gene.

3
00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:27,635
It has a messed-up wheel.

4
00:00:27,809 --> 00:00:29,463
And a lot of junk
in the trunk.

5
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:30,638
More to push.

6
00:00:30,812 --> 00:00:32,292
Yes, Gene.
You love it.

7
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,078
Beep-beep!
Here we are in Turkey Town.

8
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,645
Oh, hello there.

9
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,255
Which one
of you lucky fellas wants

10
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,865
to get eaten by me
this Thursday?

11
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,302
[in goofy voices]:
Me! No, me!

12
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,261
Okay, settle down everyone.

13
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,002
So Dad's talking
to turkeys now?

14
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,003
Sheesh, Dad.
Get an oven.

15
00:00:48,177 --> 00:00:49,439
Your dad loves Thanksgiving.

16
00:00:49,613 --> 00:00:50,746
It's his favorite holiday.

17
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,487
Will it be you?
You're a big one.

18
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,140
You been working out?
[in goofy voice]: A little.

19
00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:55,445
Well, you look great.

20
00:00:55,619 --> 00:00:56,838
Yeah, it's a little weird,

21
00:00:57,012 --> 00:00:58,448
but it's his selection process.

22
00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:00,060
It's like The Bachelor,

23
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,844
but at the end,
the one he chooses gets eaten.

24
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,671
That's what happens
on the real Bachelor,too.

25
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,325
They just don't show it
on camera.

26
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,328
[in goofy voice]:
Hey Bob, what about me?

27
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,329
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I didn't see you there.

28
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,722
I hope he waits to get it home
before he stuffs it.

29
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,507
Yes... Yes, it's you.

30
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,335
[gasps, in goofy voice]:
Really?

31
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,814
Really.

32
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:17,947
[in goofy voice]:
Hey, thank you so much.

33
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,340
I don't know what to say.

34
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,862
It's okay, don't say anything.

35
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:21,819
[in goofy voice]:
Oh, Bob.

36
00:01:21,993 --> 00:01:23,474
Dad, are you crying?

37
00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:25,171
Shh! Let them
have their moment.

38
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,302
Yes!

39
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:27,695
Come on.
Let's go get stuffing.

40
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,218
Come on.You're the one!

41
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:32,353
Come on!You arethe one!

42
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,615
GENE: That turkey
is our mom now.

43
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:39,141
[door bells jangling]

44
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,490
Uh, Mr. Fischoeder.

45
00:01:40,664 --> 00:01:42,188
Um, it's not December yet.

46
00:01:42,362 --> 00:01:43,929
And I, I paid November's rent
a few days ago.

47
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,496
I know I used a lot
of pennies, but...

48
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:48,108
Stand down, Bob.
I'm just here as a friend.

49
00:01:48,281 --> 00:01:50,152
A friend who needs to borrow
your family for Thanksgiving.

50
00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:51,719
What?I need to borrow

51
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,156
your family
for Thanksgiving dinner.

52
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,246
Why?Bob, have you ever been in love?

53
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,466
I-I guess.
I-I technically am.

54
00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,814
Hi!

55
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,859
Well, Bob,
I was in love once, too.

56
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,078
Oh, sick!

57
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,775
With Shelby Schnabel,

58
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:07,301
the most famous sharpshooter
since Annie Oakley.

59
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:10,217
You lost me at "love" but
brought me back with
"sharpshooter."

60
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:12,567
She left me
for a married oil magnate.

61
00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:15,177
Then she left him for a
married movie magnate.

62
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:16,919
She's a magnate magnet.

63
00:02:17,092 --> 00:02:18,399
More like a homewrecker.

64
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,009
Exactly, which is why I need

65
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,793
to give her a home to wreck.

66
00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:23,447
If you want to wreck your home,

67
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,318
buy a bunch of mice,
like a normal person.

68
00:02:25,492 --> 00:02:28,408
So, Bob, in exchange
for one month's rent,

69
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:31,193
can your family pretend
to be my family?

70
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:32,760
Yay! Acting!

71
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:34,371
Mmm... no.

72
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,372
From now on,
call me Gene Fischoeder.

73
00:02:36,546 --> 00:02:38,375
No wait,
Vesuvio Fischoeder.

74
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,115
No, wait, Alabama Slammer!

75
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:41,639
I'll need you, too, Bob,

76
00:02:41,812 --> 00:02:43,250
to pose as my cook
and to roast the bird.

77
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,816
Definitely not.
Thanksgiving is

78
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,557
this family's
favorite holiday.

79
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,254
Eh.
Wait, it's not?

80
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:49,734
No way.
Check the rankings.

81
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,389
It goes: my birthday,
Christmas, Halloween...

82
00:02:52,562 --> 00:02:53,998
Easter...
Hanukkah...

83
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,436
Snow Day,
Amateur Night...

84
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,740
Uh, okay, that's...

85
00:02:56,914 --> 00:02:58,438
Veterans Day...Tooth Fairy Eve...

86
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,484
Not real.Patrick's Day, May Day,

87
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:02,616
Groundhog Day, season premiere
of Game of Thrones...

88
00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:05,009
You've never even seen... Opposite Day, Day of the Dead...

89
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,403
Stop.  Dawn of the Dead,Carnivale...

90
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,057
Angela Lansbury's birthday...

91
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:10,146
No.Bath Night...

92
00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:11,407
[Bob groans]Black Friday,

93
00:03:11,581 --> 00:03:12,582
then Thanksgiving.

94
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:13,975
Love Black Friday.

95
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,629
Black Friday before
Thanksgiving?

96
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:17,240
Yeah, 'cause it's dark.

97
00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:18,633
Oh, come on guys, what about

98
00:03:18,806 --> 00:03:20,242
all of our Thanksgiving
traditions?

99
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,635
Gene and I always play football.

100
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:22,941
Always go for the feet.

101
00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:24,115
Ow!

102
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:25,813
Tina and I break the wishbone.

103
00:03:25,987 --> 00:03:27,816
I wished for
more wishbones.

104
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,687
And Louise, we use the giblets

105
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,819
to play Turkey Crime Scene
Investigation: Miami.

106
00:03:31,993 --> 00:03:34,300
[shutter clicks]Cause of death
is a missing head.

107
00:03:34,474 --> 00:03:35,475
Same as last year.

108
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,867
Same as every year.

109
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:39,131
We've got a serial killer
on our hands!

110
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:42,308
But everyone's favorite part
is my funny toast, right?

111
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:43,831
Like, last year, I said,

112
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,834
if you want to open
the door to this family,

113
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,270
use the tur-key!

114
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,010
[chuckling]:
Tur...

115
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,272
Oh, my gosh.

116
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,360
I just got it.

117
00:03:51,534 --> 00:03:52,884
Let's up the ante.

118
00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:53,972
Three months rent.

119
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,016
[gasps]
Bobby.

120
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,278
Two.
Gene, no.

121
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,846
Purple. What are we guessing?

122
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,674
Five.
Deal.

123
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,329
Wow, I didn't think you
were gonna go... Okay.

124
00:04:02,502 --> 00:04:03,852
Uh... well, that'll make
a huge difference for us.

125
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,549
That's-that's like real money.

126
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,377
Goodie. I'll send you
all scripts for Thursday.

127
00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:09,423
I want you to really get
into your parts.

128
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,294
Just like I'm going to get
into Shelby's parts.

129
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:12,382
Her lady parts.

130
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:13,861
Which are the lady parts?

131
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,776
The vagina and the heart.

132
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,867
[grunts] I can't believe
my bridesmaid's dress

133
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,043
from Ginger's wedding
still fits me.

134
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,740
You look like
an elegant sausage.

135
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:26,091
I hope I can breathe
to do my Thanksgiving song.

136
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,875
I thought we
settled on no song.

137
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,529
I hate plays
that don't have songs.

138
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,358
I'll find a place to fit it in.

139
00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:32,706
What's your Thanksgiving song?

140
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,185
Uh, no, no, no, no, no.

141
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,100
♪ Pass the cranberry sauce ♪

142
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,886
♪ We're having mashed potatoes ♪

143
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,540
♪ Ooh, the turkey looks great ♪Lin...

144
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,192
♪ Thank you for loving me ♪Lin.

145
00:04:41,367 --> 00:04:42,891
♪ Thank you for being there ♪Oh, God.

146
00:04:43,064 --> 00:04:44,457
♪ Everyone's thankin' ♪Lin.

147
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,372
♪ The whole world's
thankin' you ♪

148
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,069
Stop, Lin. Stop.♪ Thankin' us for thankin' you ♪

149
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,375
Lin.♪ Kill the turkey. ♪

150
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,680
Please.
I liked it.

151
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,117
Thank you.

152
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,336
Okay, everyone, we're here.

153
00:04:53,509 --> 00:04:54,728
Listen, I figured out

154
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:56,252
how to have
our own Thanksgiving,

155
00:04:56,425 --> 00:04:58,384
stuffed inside
Fischoeder's Thanksgiving.

156
00:04:58,558 --> 00:04:59,560
Like a turducken.

157
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,213
A poultry
within a poultry.

158
00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:03,389
It's like Inception,
with meats.

159
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:04,956
Gene, before dinner,
you come in

160
00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:06,567
and we'll play tackle
in the kitchen.

161
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,264
Then send Tina in
for the wishbone.

162
00:05:08,437 --> 00:05:09,526
And then Louise.

163
00:05:09,699 --> 00:05:11,005
And at exactly 8:00,

164
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,660
you all say you have to go
to the bathroom

165
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,531
and then you come
to the kitchen for my toast.

166
00:05:14,704 --> 00:05:16,053
8:00-- that's your cue.

167
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,403
I'm only half listening.

168
00:05:17,577 --> 00:05:18,882
Did you just say you want us

169
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,319
to go to the bathroom
in the kitchen?

170
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,103
No, Louise.
Come on, guys,

171
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:23,540
"Belcher Thanksgiving"
on three, ready?

172
00:05:23,713 --> 00:05:24,454
One, two...

173
00:05:24,627 --> 00:05:25,586
Ah, the Fischoeders!

174
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,197
Come inside, family.

175
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,459
Yay.

176
00:05:29,632 --> 00:05:31,418
Okay, uh...

177
00:05:31,591 --> 00:05:32,593
You guys go.

178
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,550
[door slams]I'm still excited.

179
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,250
Uh, can-can you open the door?

180
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,468
FISCHOEDER:
Go around the back, cook.

181
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,601
Okay.
Still gonna be good.

182
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:45,822
This house was originally built

183
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,608
by a paranoid
arsenic manufacturer.

184
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:51,786
Oh, I bet there are actual
skeletons in these closets.

185
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,961
And a dungeon full
of Dungeness crabs.

186
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,658
I bet when you flush
the toilets,

187
00:05:55,832 --> 00:05:57,747
the water evaporates upwards
and forms a rainbow.

188
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,358
Two of you are correct.

189
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,622
You already signed
your liability waivers,

190
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,449
so go explore.

191
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,754
Awesome!

192
00:06:04,928 --> 00:06:06,975
[toilet flushes]So, Mr. Fisch...

193
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,019
TINA: I was right
about the toilets.

194
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:12,980
Huh, I thought the kitchen
would be more, uh, mansion-y.

195
00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:15,286
Mansions are for the owners,
Bob, not the cooks.

196
00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:17,637
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going get drunk for dinner.

197
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,290
Do you mean dressed?Dressed out of my mind.

198
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,684
Got to loosen up,
you know?

199
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:23,252
Right, right.Got to get my sex face on.

200
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,384
I can't wait to see it.

201
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,168
Well, Lin, this might not
be so bad, right?

202
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,170
This Thanksgiving.

203
00:06:28,343 --> 00:06:29,345
Neh.
What?

204
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:30,737
My hair!

205
00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:33,000
Now I got to go redo it. Great.Fine.

206
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:35,002
Guess I'll just be here, alone.

207
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:36,483
With uh... with the turkey.

208
00:06:36,656 --> 00:06:38,266
[in goofy voice]:
My name's Lance.

209
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:39,790
Sorry. With Lance.

210
00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:41,052
How are you, Lance?

211
00:06:41,225 --> 00:06:42,444
[goofy voice]:
Pretty great.

212
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,795
Oh, there are
my little Fischies.

213
00:06:44,968 --> 00:06:46,362
Thanks for
the new outfits.

214
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,363
Sometimes you need
a make-under.

215
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:49,495
I'm glad you like them.

216
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,670
Now, our job tonight

217
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,454
is to fool the woman
of my dreams

218
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,413
into believing
that we are a loving,

219
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:57,547
happy nuclear family
that she can destroy.

220
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:58,983
Romantic.

221
00:06:59,156 --> 00:07:00,550
In order to keep
you kids motivated,

222
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:02,639
we're going to be playing
by arcade rules.

223
00:07:02,812 --> 00:07:04,336
You'll be awarded these tickets

224
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,077
for convincing performances
as Fischoeder children.

225
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,644
Game on.
Wait, time out.

226
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,211
Okay, game on again.

227
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:12,083
I thought my shoe
was untied.

228
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,084
The one with the most tickets
at the end of the evening

229
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:16,218
can claim a gift
from my prize room.

230
00:07:16,391 --> 00:07:19,047
The only prize I need
is your love, father.

231
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,526
And we're off and running.

232
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:21,745
[growls]

233
00:07:21,918 --> 00:07:23,137
And just like
every happy family,

234
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,401
we now have a commissioned
painting of us,

235
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:26,880
holding the family crest

236
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,360
covered in ten schlongs,

237
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,406
which of course
is German for "snakes."

238
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:32,713
Oh-ho-ho.

239
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:33,670
Look at the schlongs.

240
00:07:33,843 --> 00:07:34,670
[doorbell rings]

241
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:35,889
Oh, she's here!

242
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,586
She's here! Oh, God.

243
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,067
Ooh, I'm so nervous.
Places, people! Places!

244
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,677
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh.

245
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,290
You ready for the oven?

246
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,682
[in goofy voice]:
I dunno, Bob.

247
00:07:46,856 --> 00:07:47,771
It feels weird.

248
00:07:47,944 --> 00:07:49,425
We should be doing this at home.

249
00:07:49,598 --> 00:07:52,862
I know it's not the same,
but it can still be fun.

250
00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:53,908
[goofy voice]:
Why don't you take a sip

251
00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:55,038
of that over there, Bob?

252
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,475
That?

253
00:07:56,649 --> 00:07:57,867
[goofy voice]:
Yeah, that green bottle.

254
00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,478
It's, uh, absinthe.

255
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:00,915
Doesn't this
make you hallucinate?

256
00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:02,569
[goofy voice]:
Carpe diem!

257
00:08:02,742 --> 00:08:03,874
What?
[goofy voice]: Seize the day.

258
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:05,572
All right,
I'll take a little sip.

259
00:08:05,745 --> 00:08:07,487
This can't be that bad.

260
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,709
Whoa. Weird.

261
00:08:12,882 --> 00:08:15,059
[goofy voice]:
Bob! Bob! Bob!

262
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,930
What?

263
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:19,062
[goofy voice]: Can you leave
the oven light on for me?

264
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:20,281
I get scared.

265
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,630
[chuckles]
So cute.

266
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:22,937
Here's the light.

267
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:24,286
[goofy voice]:
It's too bright.

268
00:08:24,459 --> 00:08:27,158
Shelby, may I present
my wife, Linda.

269
00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:28,463
Pleasure to meet you, Linda.

270
00:08:28,637 --> 00:08:30,726
Oh, I like that name,
Linda.

271
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,293
[loudly]:
And I'm Linda.

272
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:33,600
Moving right along,
these are my children,

273
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:36,254
Gina, Team, and Lucy.

274
00:08:36,427 --> 00:08:37,951
Welcome to our happy home.

275
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:40,780
Any ex-lover of my father's
is a friend of mine.

276
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,783
What unusual children.

277
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,176
Calvin, your sperm
did wonderfully.

278
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,134
She took my sperm
and ran with it.

279
00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:48,484
Because I'm his...
[clearing throat]

280
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:49,745
Because I... [clears throat]

281
00:08:49,919 --> 00:08:51,355
Because I'm his wife.

282
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,793
Thank you, Linda.Say, do you kids like bullets?

283
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,664
I think all kids like bullets.Think fast!

284
00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,493
Whoa!
Whoa.
Wow!

285
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:58,668
Calvin, you kept

286
00:08:58,841 --> 00:08:59,929
my old rifle.

287
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,235
You weren't carrying a torch

288
00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:03,325
for me all these years,
were you?

289
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,980
Oh, of course not, I was
just holding it for you.
You can have it back.

290
00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:08,938
You don't mind if I cock
this thing in here, do you?

291
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,071
Cock away.

292
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,552
[everyone shouting]LINDA: Ow! Loud!

293
00:09:13,726 --> 00:09:15,772
That trick's called
the "Reverse Cowgirl."

294
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:17,947
I bet you could pierce
Gene's ear from there.

295
00:09:18,121 --> 00:09:19,341
Ooh, do my belly button!

296
00:09:19,514 --> 00:09:20,647
Not till you're 18.

297
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,212
If you teach me to shoot,

298
00:09:22,386 --> 00:09:23,649
I'll teach you to regret
teaching me to shoot.

299
00:09:23,823 --> 00:09:25,216
And I can teach you
to make burgers,

300
00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:26,566
like in our restau...

301
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,393
Eh, eh!
What is she talking about?

302
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,481
All this talk about shooting
is making me thirsty.

303
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,615
Why don't we pull the
trigger on a glass of wine?

304
00:09:32,788 --> 00:09:34,312
Ha-ha. I'm funny.

305
00:09:34,485 --> 00:09:35,792
I'm his funny wife.

306
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,707
Being a family man
suits you, Calvin.

307
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:40,623
Hmm.You look better
than I remember.

308
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,407
When will Thanksgiving be over?

309
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:45,540
I want it to be Father's Day
every day!

310
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,020
Very nice.Here, Father,

311
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,674
let me refill your glass.

312
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,633
You must be dehydrated
from being so wonderful.

313
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,200
Take it down a notch or two.

314
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,028
Hey, Dad,
remember when we did that thing

315
00:09:54,201 --> 00:09:55,812
that was fun and memorable?

316
00:09:55,985 --> 00:09:57,205
[whispering]:
That's pathetic.

317
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,599
Um, hello,
I'm your chef.

318
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,861
Yes, this is our chef,
uh, Burt.

319
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,604
Here are your salads,
and now I will, uh,

320
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,431
go tackle the turkey.
Did you hear that, Gene?

321
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,172
I'm gonna go
tacklethe turkey.

322
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:09,433
Tackle away.

323
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,000
Tacklethe turkey.

324
00:10:11,174 --> 00:10:12,873
Ah!Ow.

325
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,004
[laughter]

326
00:10:14,177 --> 00:10:15,397
Oh!That was a great shot.

327
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,006
Really, really funny.

328
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,226
Do another one.
Ooh! Do a crouton.

329
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,663
Uh, no, I'm gonna go back
to the kitchen now.

330
00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:23,578
So, uh, here I go.

331
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,058
Back to the kitchen.

332
00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:26,842
Gene, go apologize to the cook.

333
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,018
[groans]

334
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,236
Gene!

335
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,759
Buddy, football time.

336
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:32,893
Let the traditions begin.

337
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,459
[sighs]
Let's make this quick.

338
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,157
All right, I got the ball
on the one yard line

339
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,375
and then I gotta punch it in:
Hut, one! Hut, two!

340
00:10:38,549 --> 00:10:40,378
Hut, hut, hut, hike!

341
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:41,770
Ow.

342
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,076
Great game, Dad,
hit the showers.

343
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,644
But we barely played.

344
00:10:44,817 --> 00:10:46,080
Gotta get out there
and get more tickets.

345
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,647
Tickets?
What are you talking about?

346
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,865
I don't have time
to explain this to the help.

347
00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:51,912
Fine, just send Tina in.

348
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,043
And come back for my toast!

349
00:10:53,216 --> 00:10:54,740
You got it, Buddy.

350
00:10:54,914 --> 00:10:56,917
One for me...

351
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,092
and one for Bob.

352
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,095
I'm very good at drinking this.
Thank you.

353
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,966
There's my girl!

354
00:11:03,139 --> 00:11:04,489
Okay, time to break
the wishbone, right?

355
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:06,274
Oh, crap,
it's still in the turkey.

356
00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:09,494
Well, maybe we can
just pull it out
a little early.

357
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:12,453
Ow! Oh, my God,
that's hot!

358
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,325
Got some skin!

359
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,937
Okay , you grab your end
and let's do the wish-skin.

360
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,894
Um, okay.

361
00:11:19,068 --> 00:11:20,941
Great, you won!
Yay.

362
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,899
What'd you wish for,
more wish-skins?

363
00:11:23,072 --> 00:11:24,509
More tickets.

364
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:25,946
I'm way behind in the
best kid contest.

365
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,730
Oh. So you're gonna leave?

366
00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:29,471
I'll send Louise in.

367
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,782
Louise Belcher regrets to
inform you she cannot attend

368
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:38,306
theTurkey CSI: Miami due
to a prior commitment.

369
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:42,004
Oh, great, I guess I did all
this for nothing. Ugh!

370
00:11:42,178 --> 00:11:44,528
[goofy voice]: Remember, Bob,
it's all an act.

371
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,313
Thanks, Lance, you've been
my rock through all this.

372
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,010
I love you.

373
00:11:48,184 --> 00:11:51,971
Well, it's almost 8:00,
so I'll do my toast,

374
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,149
and the Belcher Thanksgiving
will be back on track.

375
00:11:55,322 --> 00:11:57,977
I "yam" what I "yam."

376
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,980
And what I "yam" is
the luckiest man in the world.

377
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,330
ALL:
Yeah!

378
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,548
Was that a great toast or what?

379
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,116
You're the toastest
with the mostest.

380
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,509
Mwah!

381
00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:09,510
KIDS:
Aw...

382
00:12:09,684 --> 00:12:11,164
Family!

383
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,905
Thanksgiving...!

384
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:17,998
Lance, you're big.

385
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,000
Mm-hmm!

386
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:20,913
[gasps]

387
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:30,923
[Bob laughing]

388
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,014
[chuckles]

389
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,147
[laughing continues]

390
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:42,370
[gasps]

391
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:44,980
Oh!

392
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:49,115
[Bob yelling excitedly]

393
00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:54,163
[Bob blowing notes on bottle]

394
00:13:00,169 --> 00:13:02,782
This is weird, right?

395
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,220
[timer dings]Oh, my God!

396
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:08,048
[goofy voice]:
What? What's going on?

397
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,875
It's 8:35! My toast!

398
00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:12,703
[all laughing]

399
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:16,447
Oh, Fischoeder Dad,
you are hilarious!

400
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,014
[goofy voice]:
They're not coming, Bob.

401
00:13:18,187 --> 00:13:21,582
Yeah, I know, Lance.

402
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,070
Ow! My face!

403
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,072
Bobby, I need
a chopped onion-- stat!

404
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,595
No one came in
for my toast, Lin.

405
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:34,900
My big toast.

406
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,903
You can do your toast
for us tomorrow.

407
00:13:37,076 --> 00:13:38,426
Tomorrow's not
Thanksgiving.

408
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,254
But tomorrow we'll have
five months free rent.

409
00:13:40,427 --> 00:13:42,125
Because this is working...
I think.

410
00:13:42,298 --> 00:13:45,259
Now come on, I need
an onion so I can cry
for my next scene.

411
00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:47,086
Chop-chop!
[laughs] Get it?Fine. You don't want

412
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,090
to come in here for my toast,
I'll bring it out there.

413
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,438
No, you will not, mister.

414
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,048
I haven't even done
my song yet.

415
00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:54,745
I'm coming out, Lin.

416
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,096
Bob, you are drunk.

417
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,924
[splutters]
You're drunk.

418
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,797
I am not. I've only had half
of four bottles of wine.

419
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,799
Just bring the turkey out
and you can come back in here

420
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,542
and take a nap on the floor
like you do at home, okay?

421
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:10,110
Now, let's go!

422
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:14,418
[grunting, sighing]

423
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:23,557
Thank you.LINDA: All right!

424
00:14:23,731 --> 00:14:25,995
Thank you.
That was called

425
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:28,128
"Ode To Dad."FISCHOEDER:
Bravo!

426
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,346
And this is called
"Better Ode To Dad."

427
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:31,913
Get ready!

428
00:14:32,087 --> 00:14:35,613
[rhythmic grunting]

429
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,092
I can't compete with that.

430
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,965
You know, I am
so emotional.

431
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:42,097
What a wonderful...
family we have.

432
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,577
And it's...
Hmm.

433
00:14:43,751 --> 00:14:45,667
It almost, it brings
tears to my eyes.Hmm.

434
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:46,972
Just a second...

435
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,365
GENE [hushed]:
You're doing great mom.

436
00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:50,976
Really natural.

437
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,282
[sobbing]

438
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,633
Oh, you are
somarried.

439
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,548
So gosh damn married!

440
00:14:57,721 --> 00:15:00,942
Hello, it's me,
the cook, Bob...

441
00:15:01,116 --> 00:15:03,163
Or Burt.
And this is Lance.

442
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,642
Lance is a turkey.

443
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,340
Lance, these are the jerks
I mentioned

444
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,124
in the kitchen, when
I was talking to you.

445
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,692
He seems like he's in
a good place.

446
00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:12,215
So, without further ado,

447
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:14,956
I will now give the traditional
cook's toast

448
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,958
that I do every year.

449
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,352
Uh, maybe
you should go back

450
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:21,181
into the kitchen,
Mr. Cook.

451
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,182
Oh, shut up, Mrs. Fischoeder!

452
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,053
Uh, ah, okay.

453
00:15:25,227 --> 00:15:27,403
Wow, there must be five
months of dishes to do in there.

454
00:15:27,577 --> 00:15:29,580
You don't want to sleep in
the basement again, Mr. Cook.

455
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,974
Are you still talking?!

456
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,671
You don't want
to sleep without...

457
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,759
Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah!Oh, dear!

458
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:38,980
It's Thanksgiving again,
and there's some "stuff-ing"

459
00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:40,417
I'm thankful for. [chuckles]

460
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,549
♪ Go on and pass
the cranberries... ♪

461
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,203
Don't, Lin, don't!

462
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,423
♪ It's time to sing
a little song now. ♪

463
00:15:46,596 --> 00:15:47,554
Stop it! Stop!

464
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,251
Wow, this is
getting good.

465
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,211
All right... [clears throat]
Thanksgiving.

466
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,429
[both grunting]

467
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:54,778
Let's break
the word down.

468
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,042
Let me, uh, just...
Thanks.

469
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,652
Shh. Excuse me.
Sorry.

470
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,653
I've heard people use
that word quite often.

471
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:02,177
Up here. Let me just "pumpkin"
you up by saying...Or "than" than.

472
00:16:02,351 --> 00:16:04,267
"pumpkin you up,"
right?

473
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,442
Like "we have more
than" day!
Let's raise
our glasses.

474
00:16:06,616 --> 00:16:10,056
Yes, raise your glasses.Tina, raise drop
those glasses.

475
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,578
BOTH:
Raise them higher
than that.

476
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:14,190
♪ Oh, pass the cranberry! ♪

477
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:16,018
All right.
Shut up, Lin!

478
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,715
♪ Let's get a little lazy ♪

479
00:16:17,889 --> 00:16:19,586
FISCHOEDER: Here's my toast,
and what I say goes.

480
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,327
Me?
We'll go by applause.

481
00:16:21,501 --> 00:16:24,765
Everyone who liked the cook's
toast best-- Shh! Clap now!

482
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,205
I don't need clapping.
What I need is

483
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,423
what every dad
needs, hugging!

484
00:16:30,597 --> 00:16:33,253
Uh, kids, go hug your dad.

485
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:34,818
Come on.

486
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,432
No, your dad,
your Fischoeder dad.

487
00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:40,042
Unbelievable.

488
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,263
Wife, come!Oh, yes!

489
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,134
Ah-ha, ha-ha.

490
00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:47,048
It's working.
Let's seal the deal.

491
00:16:47,222 --> 00:16:48,442
No, no.Give me those lips.

492
00:16:48,615 --> 00:16:50,052
No... no...
Lips. Lips.

493
00:16:50,225 --> 00:16:51,226
No, no.
Lips. Lips.

494
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,446
Okay, one.

495
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:53,576
[screams]

496
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:55,057
Whoa.
Sick!Aw....

497
00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:56,450
Get your lips off her!

498
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,278
Wow!
Everybody wants everybody!

499
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,149
This is so exciting.

500
00:17:00,322 --> 00:17:02,282
I believe the cook has had
too much to drink.

501
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,109
Oh, do you believe it?!

502
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,980
I believe it in my
heart of hearts.

503
00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:07,808
Oh, great, everyone wants
to hear your beliefs!

504
00:17:07,982 --> 00:17:09,636
Back to the kitchen now!

505
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:10,768
I'm not going back.

506
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,640
Now thisis a holiday.

507
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,858
Is it cool if I grab a leg?No.

508
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,252
You people don't deserve
to eat Lance.

509
00:17:17,426 --> 00:17:20,865
Lance is my friend, okay?

510
00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,476
Ow, Lance,
you're burning my arm.

511
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:23,867
Put that turkey down.

512
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:26,522
I pay your salary
and your rent.

513
00:17:26,696 --> 00:17:29,090
Keep your blood money,
Fischoeder!

514
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:30,135
Bobby, come back!

515
00:17:30,309 --> 00:17:31,310
Not the gravy!

516
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,660
Save me some dark meat!

517
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,314
Lance, take care of my father!

518
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,097
Get back here with that turkey!

519
00:17:36,271 --> 00:17:37,143
I'll get it back.

520
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:38,491
I love a turkey hunt.

521
00:17:38,665 --> 00:17:39,971
Wait. What?

522
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,324
They'll never catch us!
Let's hide here.There he is!

523
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:45,541
Oh, boy.

524
00:17:45,715 --> 00:17:46,542
[goofy voice]:
Duck, Bob, duck!

525
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,153
You're a turkey, Lance.

526
00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:50,155
[goofy voice]:
Good one, Bob.

527
00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:51,417
They're gaining on us!

528
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,722
[goofy voice]:
Run side to side!

529
00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:55,116
Okay, but I think
this is slower.

530
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:56,552
Shelby, stop!
Don't shoot him!

531
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,207
What the...?

532
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,949
Come back here with
our turkey, cook!

533
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,864
Never! He's mine!

534
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,344
No, don't shoot
my dad!

535
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,214
I'm not.
I'm gonna shoot the cook!

536
00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:08,521
And I won't kill him.
I'm just gonna maim him!

537
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:09,522
GENE:
Tackle!

538
00:18:09,696 --> 00:18:11,654
[grunts]

539
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,354
[thud]

540
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,746
Oh, God,
we killed Bobby!

541
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,356
We killed Bobby!Dad!

542
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,663
Why do they keep
calling the cook "Dad"?

543
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,319
Lin, he's shot.

544
00:18:24,493 --> 00:18:25,538
Oh, thank goodness.
Oh, my God.

545
00:18:25,712 --> 00:18:27,148
Dad!
Dad!

546
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:28,367
Lance, talk to me.

547
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,239
You're gonna be okay.

548
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:33,023
[goofy voice]: No, no I'm not
gonna make it, Bob.

549
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,548
Don't say that, Lance.
Don't talk like that!

550
00:18:35,722 --> 00:18:37,420
You're gonna be fine!

551
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,943
[goofy voice]:
No, I'm cold. I'm so cold.

552
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,382
Get him a blanket!Get him a blanket!

553
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,730
[mutters in goofy voice]

554
00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:46,342
What?What's he sayin'?

555
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,213
I don't know.
I can't understand.

556
00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:50,738
What's he sayin'?!He's just murmuring!

557
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:53,567
Lance? Lance?

558
00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:54,959
Oh, he's gone!!

559
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,222
Oh, Bobby, I'm so sorry
about all this.

560
00:18:57,396 --> 00:18:58,701
I never want
to be someone else's wife,

561
00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:00,226
even for pretend.

562
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,704
Sorry we ruined your
Thanksgiving, Dad.

563
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:03,403
We were jerks.

564
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,795
I'm sorry, too.

565
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,362
I promise to tackle
you every day

566
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,625
for the rest
of my life.

567
00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:11,453
I've been talking to a turkey
for a long time now.

568
00:19:11,627 --> 00:19:14,369
But I drank a lot of
absinthe, just to be fair.

569
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:17,025
Oh, Bobby, come here.
Mwah!

570
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,243
Lin, not now, I'm grieving.

571
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,246
I lost a friend today.

572
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,290
This is so confusing!

573
00:19:22,464 --> 00:19:24,467
Well, it's clear to me
that this cook has, uh,

574
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,426
fathered these, uh,
children with, uh, this...

575
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,905
Oh, give it up.

576
00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:30,994
I'm not Fischoeder's
wife, all right?

577
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,432
He hired us to pretend
to be his family

578
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,086
so you'd be attracted
to him-- there.

579
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:36,435
I'm touched that
you would go

580
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,481
to so much trouble
for little old me.

581
00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:42,397
Oh, you're not old,
and you're not little.

582
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:43,616
Not where it counts.

583
00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,140
In the wabba-wabba.

584
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,882
Oh, Calvin,
this isn't gonna work.

585
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:48,970
Oh.

586
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,102
I respect myself too much

587
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,060
not to be the other woman.

588
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,279
Wow, you guys are insane.

589
00:19:54,453 --> 00:19:55,628
Let's get out of here.

590
00:19:55,802 --> 00:19:57,457
We can still have dinner
at home.

591
00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:58,632
Wait!
I almost forgot!

592
00:19:58,806 --> 00:19:59,936
I have the
most tickets!

593
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,635
And I know exactly what I want.

594
00:20:02,809 --> 00:20:05,464
Now this portrait will grow old
for me

595
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:06,640
and I'll stay nine forever.

596
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,642
Oh! This "absence"
is delicious.

597
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:10,251
It's absinthe, Lin.

598
00:20:10,425 --> 00:20:12,645
You'reabsinthe.[laughs]

599
00:20:12,819 --> 00:20:14,647
Hey, Mom, are you
hallucinating yet?

600
00:20:14,821 --> 00:20:15,865
Not yet.
I need more.

601
00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:17,346
Okay, who wants what?

602
00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:18,826
I'll take a bullet
piece, please.

603
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,740
Me, too!I'll have a thigh.

604
00:20:20,914 --> 00:20:22,873
There's plenty of shrapnel
for everyone-- don't be shy.

605
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:25,659
Good thing the bullet
hit Lance, or else
we'd be eating Dad.

606
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,442
He'd taste old
and bitter.

607
00:20:27,616 --> 00:20:29,315
I bet Dad would've made
a great dinner.

608
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:30,316
Thanks, Tina.

609
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:31,621
Yeah, you're so plump.

610
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,013
Oh.

611
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:34,319
Aw, to delicious Bobby!

612
00:20:34,493 --> 00:20:36,670
Lin, don't toast to eating me.

613
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:39,106
ALL [chanting]:
Eat Dad! Eat Dad! Eat Dad!

614
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:43,851
Eat Bob! Eat Bob!Stop it.

615
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,721
[chanting continues]Thanksgiving's over!

616
00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:47,549
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

617
00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:49,073
♪ Pass the cranberry sauce♪BOB: No...

618
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,336
♪ We're having
mashed potatoes ♪

619
00:20:50,509 --> 00:20:52,337
♪ Ooh, the turkey looks great ♪

620
00:20:52,511 --> 00:20:54,904
♪ Thank you for loving me ♪ Lin...

621
00:20:55,078 --> 00:20:57,080
♪ Thank you for being there ♪ Please.

622
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,518
♪ Thank you for loving me ♪ Oh, God.

623
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,954
♪ Everyone's thanking ♪ Lin...

624
00:21:01,128 --> 00:21:03,784
♪ The whole world's thanking
you ♪ Lin, stop. Lin, stop.

625
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,699
♪ Thanking us
for thanking you ♪ Lin...

626
00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:08,354
♪ Kill the turkey ♪ Lin!

627
00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:13,096
No. ♪ Pass the cranberry sauce ♪

628
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:15,230
♪ We're having
mashed potatoes ♪

629
00:21:15,403 --> 00:21:17,405
♪ Ooh, the turkey looks great ♪

630
00:21:17,579 --> 00:21:19,799
♪ Thank you for loving me ♪ Lin...

631
00:21:19,973 --> 00:21:22,192
♪ Thank you for being there ♪ Please.

632
00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:24,194
♪ Thank you for loving me ♪

633
00:21:24,369 --> 00:21:26,414
♪ Everyone's thanking ♪ Lin...

634
00:21:26,588 --> 00:21:28,416
♪ The whole world's
thanking you ♪ Stop.

635
00:21:28,590 --> 00:21:30,201
♪ Thanking us
for thanking you ♪

636
00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:33,291
♪ Kill the turkey. ♪

637
00:21:33,465 --> 00:21:36,382
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org