1
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:21,978
[ship's horn blows]

2
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,980
BOB:
Okay, kids, you know the plan.

3
00:00:24,153 --> 00:00:26,460
When the ship docks,
Gene: bam, bullhorn!

4
00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:30,117
Abandon ship!
For Bob's Burgers.

5
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:33,119
Then, Tina, when people start
coming ashore: pow, coupons!

6
00:00:33,293 --> 00:00:35,991
50% off to all cruise
ship passengers. Pow.

7
00:00:36,165 --> 00:00:38,167
Try "poo." That
always gets attention.

8
00:00:38,341 --> 00:00:39,473
Oh, yeah, yeah.No.

9
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:40,953
Poo.
Use the bullhorn.

10
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:41,954
No.
Poo.

11
00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:42,999
[laughs]Never mind.

12
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,131
Just don't say
anything.

13
00:00:44,304 --> 00:00:45,131
Yeah, don't say anything.

14
00:00:45,305 --> 00:00:46,481
Where is everybody?

15
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,134
Did you hand out the coupons?

16
00:00:48,308 --> 00:00:49,484
Yes. Oh, wait.

17
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:52,094
No! What happened?
We practiced!

18
00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:53,835
We choked, Dad!

19
00:00:54,009 --> 00:00:56,185
We planned on handing them out,
but then it was noon,

20
00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:58,188
and then there was a bug
that landed on the ground,

21
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,103
and anyway, the day just got
away from us.

22
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,018
Oh, God...

23
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,106
Rooty-toot-toot,
someone's wearin'
a white suit!

24
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,500
I think that's
the captain, Lin.

25
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,153
White pants, take a chance.

26
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:09,025
Permission
to come aboard?

27
00:01:09,198 --> 00:01:10,156
Permission given!

28
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:11,462
I'm Captain Flarty.

29
00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:13,986
Is this restaurant
seaman friendly?

30
00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:20,210
You know, I've tried burgers
from Maine to Mexico,

31
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:24,170
but this is the best burger
I've ever had, Bob.

32
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:25,563
Um, thank you.

33
00:01:25,736 --> 00:01:27,174
Maybe you could encourage
your passengers

34
00:01:27,347 --> 00:01:28,087
to try our burgers.

35
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:29,828
I'll do you one better.

36
00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:33,093
Join me as a guest chef
on our cruise to Puerto Rico.

37
00:01:33,266 --> 00:01:34,572
Really?
Ooh...Your family will accompany you,

38
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:38,009
of course.
Ten days, all expenses paid.

39
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:52,067
[cackling]

40
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,161
Wow, that's, that's
quite an offer...

41
00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,379
Uh...but we really
can't afford

42
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,076
to leave this place
for that long.

43
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,947
KIDS:
Come on!
Hmph!

44
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,254
Also, I'm, I'm supposed
to get a meat delivery,

45
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,170
and the pickle guy's
coming, too, and...

46
00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:08,039
You're turning me down?

47
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,217
Yeah. Sorry?

48
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,176
Um...

49
00:02:16,396 --> 00:02:19,050
Well, then, would you at least
do me the honor [coughs]

50
00:02:19,225 --> 00:02:20,574
of cooking
just for tonight, Bob,

51
00:02:20,748 --> 00:02:22,576
at the captain's table
while we're docked?

52
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,056
Say yes, say yes,
say yes!

53
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,579
Um... sure.

54
00:02:25,753 --> 00:02:27,103
Uh, yes.
Yay!

55
00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:29,235
Well, it's something.We'll take it.

56
00:02:29,409 --> 00:02:32,716
Outstanding! And meanwhile, your
family will have, of course,

57
00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:35,241
free run of the ship,
and I, I do mean free.

58
00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,199
Take this VIP card,

59
00:02:37,373 --> 00:02:38,461
bride of Bob.

60
00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:40,115
Ooh...

61
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:42,378
Women and children first.

62
00:02:42,552 --> 00:02:44,251
♪ And VIPs! ♪

63
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,122
Everyone, listen!
This ship is...!

64
00:02:46,295 --> 00:02:47,427
[muffled yelling]

65
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,908
Fancy? Was he gonna
say fancy?

66
00:02:50,081 --> 00:02:50,908
Sexy?
Pregnant?

67
00:02:51,082 --> 00:02:52,301
A grand old dame?

68
00:02:52,475 --> 00:02:55,131
Don't tell us!
Let it be a surprise!

69
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:01,050
[laughing]

70
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,139
What's so funny?

71
00:03:03,312 --> 00:03:06,447
Oh, just, uh...
funny fish I saw.

72
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,230
If it's that one,
it's hilarious.

73
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,058
If it's that one,
it's dead,

74
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,146
which isn't funny.

75
00:03:15,324 --> 00:03:17,152
Welcome aboard the
Windbreaker,Belchers!

76
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:19,199
Uh, thank you, Captain.

77
00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:20,983
This is our first time on...
Aah!

78
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:21,984
Kiki likes you!
Go on.

79
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,289
Oh, don't be afraid,

80
00:03:23,463 --> 00:03:25,204
pet him, pet him.Uh, no, thanks.

81
00:03:25,378 --> 00:03:27,641
What is, what is...
what is he?I want you to pet him.

82
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:30,340
He's a capybara.
Aren't you a capybara?

83
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,299
It's the largest member
of the rodent family...

84
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,126
After Gene.
Mm-hmm.

85
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,127
[Kiki grunting]

86
00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:36,520
Oh, God.

87
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:39,348
Oh, Kiki!
That's a big BM, yes.

88
00:03:39,522 --> 00:03:41,699
All right,
dinner's at six bells.

89
00:03:41,872 --> 00:03:44,701
My first mate here, Mr. Asch,
will show you to the galley.

90
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:48,139
And you'll show the captain's
table how burgers are done.

91
00:03:48,314 --> 00:03:49,271
All right, Bobby,
have fun cooking!

92
00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:50,621
Yeah.Come on, kids.

93
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,319
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I want to see

94
00:03:52,492 --> 00:03:54,146
how far Kiki gets
with Dad's leg.

95
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,147
Yeah...!

96
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,150
Bob, this is
our head chef, Duval.

97
00:03:58,324 --> 00:03:59,674
[grunts]

98
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,632
If you'll excuse me, duty calls.

99
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:04,068
My replacement.
I hope that you have

100
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,984
a hairnet for
your face and arms.

101
00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:07,550
I'm not replacing you.

102
00:04:07,724 --> 00:04:09,509
I'm just cooking one meal
for one night

103
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,989
for the captain's table.

104
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,729
You remind me of me,

105
00:04:12,903 --> 00:04:15,167
back when I was the captain's
special guest chef

106
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,343
for just "one night,"

107
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:18,170
56 voyages ago!

108
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,475
[dramatic tone plays]

109
00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:20,911
Ah, there's
the dinner rolls.

110
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,130
Why does your timer sound
like that?

111
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,350
It's French!

112
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,047
[dramatic tone plays]

113
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,701
Okay, over there is
the movie theater,

114
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,485
and beyond that is
the rock-climbing wall.

115
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,226
A talking manatee?!

116
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,663
I don't know what that is,
but I got to see it!

117
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:37,538
All right. Us girls are
gonna go hit the spa.

118
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,582
Pass. I'm gonna go
write dirty words on

119
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,237
sunbathers' backs in sunscreen.

120
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:46,197
Yeah, I'd rather not spend
all day in a... [moans]

121
00:04:46,372 --> 00:04:48,026
I can go to the spa.

122
00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:51,247
Look at you,
making hamburgers
with your fancy beef

123
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:55,076
for the fancy captain's
table, Mr. Squishy-Squashy.

124
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:58,036
Mm-hmm.
The regular passengers
will be enjoying

125
00:04:58,209 --> 00:05:00,038
my fresh vegetable stew.

126
00:05:00,211 --> 00:05:02,084
Um, none of those
vegetables are fresh.

127
00:05:02,257 --> 00:05:03,432
The passengers don't care.

128
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,086
They only complain
if we run out.

129
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,524
And when they complain,
the captain gets angry.

130
00:05:07,697 --> 00:05:09,134
Is he a little crazy?

131
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,701
[hushed]:
Shh! He can hear you.

132
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:13,225
He put a microphone
in the cheese grater.

133
00:05:13,399 --> 00:05:15,052
Act normal.
[humming]

134
00:05:15,226 --> 00:05:17,577
Come on.
Hum, hum.

135
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,101
Okay. Uh...
[humming]

136
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:22,103
That's it.
Humming like normal.

137
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:24,324
Okay.

138
00:05:24,497 --> 00:05:27,283
ANNOUNCER:
He's a former regional
Star Searchfinalist...

139
00:05:27,456 --> 00:05:30,242
she's the sexiest sea cow
on the ocean.

140
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:33,071
Together they're
Herman and Marilyn!

141
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,334
Why were you out so late
last night, Marilyn?

142
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:38,120
Listen to this one.
Always up my butt.

143
00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:45,300
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, sexy lady,
ocean lady. ♪

144
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:48,086
This is so much safer
than the sun.

145
00:05:48,259 --> 00:05:49,566
Come on, cook me.

146
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,175
[bed buzzes]

147
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,091
I can't work on minors.
Ship's regulations.

148
00:05:53,264 --> 00:05:54,745
I could lose my job.

149
00:05:54,918 --> 00:05:56,529
Marco, what if I told you
I'm holding

150
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,009
a life-threatening amount
of tension in my glutes?

151
00:05:59,183 --> 00:06:00,011
No glutes.Calves?

152
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,142
No.
Haunches?

153
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,492
No.Muffin top?

154
00:06:02,665 --> 00:06:05,146
Back fat?No. Top of head only.

155
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:07,235
Deal.

156
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,237
[moans]
Don't stop.

157
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,500
[moans]

158
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,286
Francesca, I don't
want to be here,

159
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,591
you don't want
to be here.

160
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,115
So let's make
the best of it.

161
00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:19,290
Can you do this?

162
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:23,425
Ooh! Cancel the rest
of my appointments.

163
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,254
Nailed it!

164
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,995
Why don't you jump into the
ocean and see me sometime?

165
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,170
[all laugh]

166
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,954
What's your name, handsome?

167
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:32,086
No, it's Gene.

168
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,697
Hi, Gene. Hygiene.

169
00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:35,524
Something this one could use
a little more of.

170
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,526
Well, at least
my jokes are fresh.

171
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,050
Jokes? What jokes?

172
00:06:39,223 --> 00:06:40,312
You're the
straight man.

173
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,139
I use the term
loosely.

174
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:43,663
Well, you know loose.

175
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,360
I prefer to be called
"flexible."

176
00:06:45,534 --> 00:06:48,146
My pants feel funny!
Good-bye!

177
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:53,324
I need a summer drink
to go with my new summer glow!

178
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,240
Hey, Isaac, daiquiri me!

179
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,156
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. Who wants apps?

180
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,290
I'll take 'em all!

181
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,336
Hi, Gene. My scalp
massage was fantastic.
Thanks for asking.

182
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,555
How was the puppet show?Weird.

183
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,733
I felt like I had to pee
the whole time, but I didn't.

184
00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:12,343
Whoo, throw a ripped wedding
dress on this daiquiri

185
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,216
'cause it is not
a virgin!

186
00:07:14,389 --> 00:07:16,697
Go ahead and give
yourself a big tip
on goldie.

187
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,264
And this is my son.
You can't tell 'cause
he's pale and I'm so dark,

188
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:22,050
but take care
of him, all right?

189
00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:24,052
Looks like the boy
who's sweet on you has

190
00:07:24,225 --> 00:07:25,531
a silver spoon sticking
out of his mouth.

191
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,098
Mm-hmm.

192
00:07:27,271 --> 00:07:29,057
I think we just found
our meal ticket.

193
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,668
Duval, you're sweating
into your stew.

194
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,540
Eh, saves on salt.

195
00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,237
Oh, God.

196
00:07:36,411 --> 00:07:37,500
I'm glad I'm leaving
after this meal.

197
00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:39,067
It's like a
hundred degrees in here.

198
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,112
Oh, sorry. I was
hogging the fan.

199
00:07:42,286 --> 00:07:44,072
Okay. That doesn't work.
Thanks.

200
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:45,377
Cool off.
Thank you.

201
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,204
Cool off.Take it away.

202
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:48,206
Here you are.

203
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:50,077
Ouch.
It's on my face.

204
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,167
Ah-ah.

205
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,255
Ah-ah.

206
00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:57,694
Ah-ah.

207
00:07:57,867 --> 00:07:59,391
Come on, lady.
Let her play it.

208
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,697
You've had plenty.

209
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:02,264
[sniffs]

210
00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:04,266
Ugh! Oysters?

211
00:08:04,439 --> 00:08:06,050
Yes, they're
for the brunch tomorrow.

212
00:08:06,223 --> 00:08:07,834
Duval, these oysters
are spoiled.

213
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,401
You're spoiled.Okay. I don't know
why I thought

214
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,620
you'd be interested
in that,

215
00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:12,274
but, uh,
don't serve those.

216
00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:13,230
I am serving them.Don't serve those.

217
00:08:13,404 --> 00:08:14,536
I'm serving them.

218
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,103
Captain would like
to thank the chef.

219
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,408
Oh!I meant Bob.

220
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,108
Oh.

221
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,415
Huh?

222
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,113
Hmm.

223
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,161
Psst. Urgent whisper.

224
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,293
Meet me later.
Cabin 308.

225
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:34,251
[coughs] Me?

226
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,167
No, the other handsome
young man I'm whispering to.

227
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:39,431
I wish I could, but we're
leaving after dessert.

228
00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:41,346
Well, if you're looking
for something sweet...

229
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,130
Who are you
whispering to?!
Him?

230
00:08:43,304 --> 00:08:44,219
Oh, leave him alone.

231
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:46,134
Youleave him alone.

232
00:08:46,307 --> 00:08:48,135
I think you've
embarrassed yourself
enough for one night!

233
00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:51,139
Remember, cabin 308!

234
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:54,490
Honored guests, let's give
a big Windbreakersalute

235
00:08:54,663 --> 00:08:57,493
to guest chef Bob Belcher!

236
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,102
LINDA:
That's my man!

237
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:02,019
He made your burgers
and he made my babies!

238
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:05,806
Ugh. Okay, kids, come on,
time to go...

239
00:09:09,504 --> 00:09:12,159
Are we moving?Bob Belcher, everyone.

240
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,379
Where's the land?

241
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,296
Where's the land?
Where's the land?!

242
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,472
Next stop, Puerto Rico.What?!

243
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,172
Looks like you'll be
my private chef after all.

244
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:27,043
No, you can't do...
Linda, we're being shanghaied!

245
00:09:27,217 --> 00:09:31,178
Shanghaied? Ooh!
Ancient Chinese vacation!

246
00:09:31,352 --> 00:09:32,179
Yay!
Yahoo!

247
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:33,224
Boobies!

248
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:34,138
What?Nothing.

249
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,317
[whimpers]
All right, steady
as she goes, Bob.

250
00:09:40,491 --> 00:09:43,321
I wouldn't call a ten-day,
all-expense-paid cruise

251
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:44,713
"being shanghaied."

252
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,673
But you can't force
my family to be on

253
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:48,717
this crazy boat for ten days.

254
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,501
Oh, come on, Bobby.
It's a vacation.

255
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,721
You deserve it.
We all do.

256
00:09:52,895 --> 00:09:54,549
Stop fighting it.

257
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,552
This isn't a vacation,
Linda, it's a kidnapping.

258
00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:58,206
This is a slave ship.

259
00:09:58,379 --> 00:09:59,860
You're disoriented, Bob.

260
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,035
It happens to some people
when they're at sea.

261
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,514
You'll adjust once you let
yourself relax.

262
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,212
Yeah, Bob. Give in.

263
00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:06,518
We're not missing anything
at home.

264
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:08,563
Hey, Bob, it's Demetri.

265
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,086
I'm gonna leave
your meat outside.

266
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:11,827
Uh, you and Linda are
probably upstairs.

267
00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:15,048
Back in five minutes,
right, buddy? Ooh-ooh-ah-ah!

268
00:10:15,222 --> 00:10:16,745
[chuckles]
All right.

269
00:10:16,919 --> 00:10:18,748
Let's discuss your concerns
on the bridge, Bob,

270
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:21,576
where there's a ship-to-
shore radio you're
free to use.

271
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,057
You can call someone
and make arrangements.

272
00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:26,451
All right.All right, good man.

273
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,062
[quietly]:
I'm gonna let him steer
the boat. That always works.

274
00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:30,759
You'll get your vacation.

275
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:32,587
Kids, looks like we're on
this Puerto Rican cruise

276
00:10:32,761 --> 00:10:33,850
for the whole
enchilada.

277
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,070
So, now I cango to room 308.

278
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,201
What's in room 308?

279
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,638
I don't know!

280
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,205
I wonder if Marco has
a 9:00 scalp shiatsu.

281
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,553
I'll massage
your scalp, Tina.

282
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:45,078
Ow, ow, ow.

283
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,645
So, how does this work?

284
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,604
The coast guard sends
a boat for us or...

285
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,126
Wait, this isn't the bridge.Mm-hmm.

286
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,606
This is the galley.

287
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,390
And your home for
the next ten days.

288
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,697
You're out of your mind.

289
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,611
Yes... with hunger.

290
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:59,397
Now get cooking, 'cause I've got
room for another burger.

291
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,748
And oh! Oh, it looks
like Kiki does, too.

292
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,270
[grunting]

293
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:05,403
Let him finish!Yes, sir.

294
00:11:05,576 --> 00:11:07,361
[panting]Go ahead, Bob.

295
00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:09,320
Go ahead, run!

296
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,714
Unless you can run on water,
there's nowhere for you to go!

297
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,236
Damn it, you're right!

298
00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:15,543
[laughs]
Who's crazy now, Bob?

299
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,240
You still are!

300
00:11:17,414 --> 00:11:19,113
Ah...! Bob.

301
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,809
[over P.A.]:
Attention crew,
this is your captain.

302
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,639
Our mustachioed guest chef
has gone missing.

303
00:11:23,812 --> 00:11:27,687
First one to find him gets
their passport back.

304
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:31,298
All right, let's see
what these babies can do.

305
00:11:31,472 --> 00:11:34,605
[grunts] No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!

306
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,696
Francesca!

307
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,088
Hey, Marco.
I'm four hours older.

308
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,308
Maybe you can rub
my neck now?

309
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:42,571
[whispering]:
Don't tire him out.

310
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,312
Do you have penny slots?

311
00:11:44,485 --> 00:11:45,792
Yes, we do.

312
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,576
Give me a whole roll
of pennies

313
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,186
'cause I feel lucky.

314
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,100
MARILYN [sing-songy]:
Who is it?

315
00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:52,668
[hushed]:
It's Gene.

316
00:11:52,841 --> 00:11:54,669
I can't talk long,
he's in the shower.

317
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:55,758
I got you this mug.

318
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:56,932
I hope you
"heart" cruising.

319
00:11:57,106 --> 00:11:58,629
Thank you. Uh![shatters]

320
00:11:58,804 --> 00:12:00,283
HERMAN: Marilyn, who
are you talking to?

321
00:12:00,457 --> 00:12:01,154
Uh, room service!

322
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:02,460
He's jealous.

323
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,288
He never lets me
out of his sight.

324
00:12:04,461 --> 00:12:06,028
I just need 100 bucks
for new headshots,

325
00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:07,639
then I can go solo.

326
00:12:07,813 --> 00:12:10,511
But where, oh,
where will I get $100?!

327
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,340
Well, maybe you...

328
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:13,732
Oh, Gene, thank you!

329
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,168
It'll just be
a loan, I promise.

330
00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:17,911
Here's your first
interest payment.

331
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,566
Marilyn, you never
wipe the seat!

332
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,046
There's sea water
everywhere!

333
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,307
[gasps]

334
00:12:24,481 --> 00:12:25,788
Run, my little cabbage!

335
00:12:25,961 --> 00:12:28,529
Run to $100!

336
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,186
[ship's horn blows in distance]

337
00:12:33,664 --> 00:12:35,144
Yes!

338
00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:38,669
Help! SOS!
We've been kidnapped!

339
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,369
MAN [on bullhorn]:
Sorry, please repeat!

340
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,719
[disco plays]We've been kidnapped!
My family's on this boat!

341
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:47,591
[music stops]Is everything okay
or is there a problem?

342
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,681
[disco plays]Th-The captain is crazy!

343
00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:51,205
Help us![music stops]

344
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,729
All I hear is a funky bass line.

345
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,687
[disco plays]I know, because he's doing it!

346
00:12:55,861 --> 00:12:58,602
Stop turning the music on!

347
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,736
Ha-ha! Very funny! Screw you![music stops, plays]

348
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:05,087
What's the matter, Bob,
you don't like

349
00:13:05,261 --> 00:13:08,221
high energy dance music?!

350
00:13:08,395 --> 00:13:11,659
Killer whale, killer whale,
killer whale! Orca!

351
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,227
Whoo-ha-ha! Yeah!

352
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,186
Uh, Bobby?

353
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,187
Bobby?

354
00:13:18,361 --> 00:13:20,277
Have you kids seen your father?

355
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,409
You mean that creepy guy
with the mustache?

356
00:13:22,583 --> 00:13:23,846
Yeah.
No.

357
00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:25,239
Hey, we're trying
to sleep in here.

358
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,717
Sorry.

359
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:30,591
Penny angel! Feels good.

360
00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:31,767
Oh, feels good
on my face!

361
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,638
Pennies, pennies,
pennies.

362
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,423
Mom, we talked about this.Pennies, pennies, pennies.

363
00:13:35,596 --> 00:13:37,599
Mom, stop.
Pennies, pennies,
pennies.

364
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,471
You're better than this.Pennies, pennies, pennies.

365
00:13:40,644 --> 00:13:43,735
FLARTY [over P.A.]:
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

366
00:13:43,909 --> 00:13:46,607
[giggles]

367
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:49,263
You made one mistake, Flarty:

368
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,568
you let me live.

369
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,005
Passengers, join us

370
00:13:53,179 --> 00:13:54,615
tomorrow morning
for Poseidon's Brunch,

371
00:13:54,789 --> 00:13:57,836
featuring Chef Duval's
famous Oysters Onassis.

372
00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:00,577
Kiki loves them,
and you will, too.

373
00:14:00,751 --> 00:14:03,102
Oh, crap. The oysters.

374
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,714
Row, row,
row the boat...

375
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:06,715
Duval?
Hmm?

376
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,456
Is that you in there?

377
00:14:08,629 --> 00:14:11,110
No one's in this pot. Go
away. I am the spaghetti.

378
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,416
Duval, you're
not the spaghetti.

379
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:13,721
I am spaghetti.Let go of the lid.

380
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,462
Just spaghetti in here.

381
00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:18,292
Duval, stop.
I'm trying to get off
the ship, all right?

382
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,642
But first you have
to throw out those oysters.

383
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,296
If I don't serve
the oysters,

384
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:25,168
Flarty will make me teach
pole-dancing to seniors.

385
00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:27,822
But if you serve them,
people can get really sick.

386
00:14:27,996 --> 00:14:30,303
It's like the Hippocratic Oath
of chefs, Duval,

387
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,610
to not make people sick
on purpose.

388
00:14:32,783 --> 00:14:34,481
Bob...Yes?

389
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:35,875
...kiss me.What?

390
00:14:36,048 --> 00:14:37,745
You know you want to.No, I don't.

391
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,096
You didn't just want
to kiss me just now?I didn't.

392
00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:42,533
All right. But you're right.

393
00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:46,101
Come, let's throw out
those horrible oysters
right now, Bob!

394
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:47,321
Now you're talking.

395
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:50,453
You first.
Way in the back.

396
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:51,673
What the hell?!

397
00:14:51,846 --> 00:14:53,500
Duval, open the door!

398
00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:55,677
You spend
the night in there.

399
00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,678
The captain is complicated,
but he knows what's best.

400
00:14:57,852 --> 00:15:01,160
[banging on door]Duval! Duval!

401
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,639
I will kiss you.

402
00:15:02,813 --> 00:15:04,729
Too late.
The moment's gone, Bob.

403
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:07,818
Duval! We can do more than kiss!

404
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,474
Other things! Duval!

405
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,828
[banging]

406
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,441
[Bob grunting]

407
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,360
Thanks for serving
canned meat, Duval.

408
00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:28,536
[grunting]

409
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,364
FLARTY [on P.A.]:
Good morning, Windbreakers!

410
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,408
Looking forward
to seeing you all

411
00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:36,109
at Poseidon's Brunch,
featuring Oysters Onassis,

412
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:39,677
as well as the catch
of the day. [laughs]

413
00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:44,639
That one is a little
shout-out for you-know-who.

414
00:15:44,812 --> 00:15:47,336
[horn blares]

415
00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:50,340
[squishing sound]

416
00:15:55,562 --> 00:15:58,609
Hmm? He's gone!

417
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,220
Oh, damn it!
You get the brunch ready!

418
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,395
You! You find Bob!

419
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:06,225
When he runs, it only makes
me want him more, right, Kiki?

420
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,227
Kiki-Kiki-Kiki.

421
00:16:09,663 --> 00:16:11,578
Little help!

422
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,711
[air hissing]

423
00:16:13,884 --> 00:16:15,408
Oh, sorry.

424
00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:18,280
BOB:
Louise, come here.
Over here.
Oh, hey, Dad.

425
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:19,890
Flarty is
absolutely insane.

426
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,806
He locked me in
his walk-in overnight.

427
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,417
He's gonna serve
rotten oysters.

428
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,852
We've got to stop him.

429
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,288
Oh, Dad, watch this.

430
00:16:26,462 --> 00:16:27,725
Clackety-clackety-
clackety-clackety,

431
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,466
click-click-click-
click-clack. Huh?

432
00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:32,730
Louise, are you
gonna help me or not?Okay, I'll help.

433
00:16:32,903 --> 00:16:35,254
All right, good.
First, we need to distract
Flarty and his crew

434
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,908
while I take the oysters
from the brunch.

435
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:38,735
Well, I am a master
of distraction.

436
00:16:38,909 --> 00:16:40,738
Ow!
See?

437
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,479
[panting]

438
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:46,831
I'm gonna get you that
hundred bucks, baby. [grunts]

439
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,789
No! Those are for Marilyn!

440
00:16:48,963 --> 00:16:50,792
Ah! No! Drop it!

441
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:54,621
We have personnel on every deck
looking for Bob, sir.

442
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:55,317
[yells]

443
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:56,537
[gasps]

444
00:16:56,711 --> 00:17:00,149
Ha-ha! I got your rat!My Kiki!

445
00:17:00,322 --> 00:17:01,455
Clackety-clackety-clackety-
clackety...

446
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,630
Get her!

447
00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:05,980
Clackety-clackety-clackety-
clackety...

448
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:11,638
So long, seamen!
Clackety-clackety...

449
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,471
Where are you taking
the oysters?

450
00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:20,125
Trust me, you don't want these.

451
00:17:20,299 --> 00:17:21,692
There's plenty
of other things to eat.

452
00:17:21,865 --> 00:17:23,128
Don't tell me
what to eat!

453
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:24,868
Let go.
I'm trying to help.

454
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,175
Yeah, help yourself.
Argh!

455
00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:28,786
They must be running out!

456
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,180
Clackety-clackety-clackety-
clackety...

457
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:34,356
I did it!
I did the distraction!

458
00:17:34,530 --> 00:17:36,142
Typically, Louise, when you do
a distraction,

459
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,752
you don't lead
everybody to me, right?

460
00:17:38,926 --> 00:17:39,623
Right!

461
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,190
Okay, next time.

462
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:45,151
How dare you use Kiki in
your sadistic game?

463
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,326
Mysadistic game?

464
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,326
That's right, buster.

465
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,372
You kidnapped us.

466
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,679
Thank you again. I'm having
a wonderful time, Captain.

467
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,507
Linda, are you kidding?!Wha...?

468
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,203
He shouldn't be captain.

469
00:17:55,377 --> 00:17:57,205
Anyone would be
a better captain than you.

470
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,775
Sounds to me what's happening
here is a mutiny!

471
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,167
Ooh, mutiny?

472
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,170
This boat has so
many activities!

473
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,824
Go ahead, Bob.
You want a mutiny? Proceed.

474
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,130
Okay.Come on.

475
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,131
All right.Let's go.

476
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,349
I will.Go ahead.

477
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,654
[clears throat]Here we go.

478
00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:13,353
Everybody...Here we go.

479
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:14,657
All right, let me...Call a mutiny.

480
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,224
I'm doing it!All right.

481
00:18:16,398 --> 00:18:18,401
But if you fail, I'm
putting you in a dinghy

482
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,359
with nothing but a compass
and a biscuit.

483
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,623
Okay, fine.
So who's with me?!

484
00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,147
How about you,

485
00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:27,192
shorts-and-binoculars guy?

486
00:18:27,366 --> 00:18:29,368
You hate it here.

487
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,673
Or you, prisoner guy.

488
00:18:30,847 --> 00:18:32,501
I saw you locked in
that room, right?

489
00:18:32,675 --> 00:18:34,374
You've got to be
on my side.

490
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:35,679
Don't look away!

491
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,724
Oh, Dad.
Oh, you're bombing.

492
00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:38,726
Oh, forget it!

493
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,205
Get the dinghy!

494
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,990
I wanted to say that.

495
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:43,773
Captain, there seems to be
a problem with the buffet.

496
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,645
[vomiting sounds]Oh, boy.

497
00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:47,125
Uh, yup.

498
00:18:47,299 --> 00:18:50,390
Ooh, I love this song.[jazz playing]

499
00:18:54,349 --> 00:18:56,395
Marilyn?! Marilyn...!

500
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,180
Ugh!

501
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,138
Marilyn, are you okay?!

502
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228
I found your eye,
but I couldn't
get the money.

503
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:03,750
But I will.

504
00:19:03,924 --> 00:19:05,404
Kid, forget it.
It's just a scam!

505
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,579
What?

506
00:19:06,753 --> 00:19:07,929
Oh, God.

507
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,410
Listen, you're a sweet kid,
[gags]

508
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,367
and you deserve better than
an old, [gags]

509
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,240
an old sea cow like me.

510
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:15,936
But, but...Save your buts.

511
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:18,634
Some things just
aren't meant to be.

512
00:19:18,808 --> 00:19:22,943
Keep the eye.
He's got a whole box
of them somewhere.

513
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,729
Ah...

514
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,426
What the hell
was that about?

515
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,167
I know she was a puppet,

516
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,299
but she put her hand
right up my heart.

517
00:19:31,473 --> 00:19:32,258
Aw, sick!

518
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:33,650
Don't worry, Gene.

519
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,434
There's plenty
of manatees in the sea.

520
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,653
But there's not, really,

521
00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:37,740
because they're
endangered.

522
00:19:37,914 --> 00:19:39,439
[humming]
Mon dieu!

523
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,267
Now can we go
to some land?

524
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,528
These people need a hospital.

525
00:19:42,702 --> 00:19:44,835
Give it up, Bob.
Your mutiny failed.

526
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:47,621
Duval, make Bob a doggie
bag for his dinghy.

527
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:50,101
No, Captain.

528
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,451
I'm sorry.
Did you say no?

529
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,322
Yes, I did.

530
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,846
I gave you the best
cooking years of my life.

531
00:19:56,019 --> 00:19:58,458
And now on behalf of all cooks
and all oysters,

532
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,460
I demand that you give up
your command.

533
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,461
There you go, Duval!

534
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,157
There you go, Bob!

535
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:04,942
You're relieved of your
position, cook.

536
00:20:05,115 --> 00:20:07,728
Asch, remove Bob and Duval
from the dining room.

537
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:10,164
Asch! Asch!

538
00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:12,384
Duval is right, sir.
I'm with him.

539
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:14,473
I've cleaned up enough
of your messes!

540
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,692
Escort the captain
to his stateroom.

541
00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:17,954
All right,
you're doing great.

542
00:20:18,128 --> 00:20:19,782
Kiss me!
Not now.
Not a good time.

543
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:20,914
Then when?!

544
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,307
French kiss that Frenchman.

545
00:20:22,481 --> 00:20:24,134
Well, you've won, Bob.

546
00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:26,311
But remember this...

547
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,315
What'd he say?

548
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,317
Nothing.
He just burped.

549
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,231
Ah...

550
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:36,844
[a la Marilyn]:
I miss you, Gene.

551
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,846
I really, really miss you.

552
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:42,153
Anyone need
a mole removed?

553
00:20:42,327 --> 00:20:43,285
Ah, peel my back.

554
00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:46,156
Look, Marilyn, it's a meat farm.

555
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,375
It's beautiful.

556
00:20:47,549 --> 00:20:49,029
Ugh! You've got
to be kidding me.

557
00:20:49,203 --> 00:20:51,336
I'm going to bed, I'm not
dealing with this right now.

558
00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:52,642
Or maybe ever.

559
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,210
Well, I've never
felt more rested.

560
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,298
Like a protein sunset.It's nice.

561
00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:36,685
Captioned by
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